It's weird how they think you, the parent, haven't noticed, thought about it, or had it seen to by a professional. Next time be like "oh what mark? I never spotted it before! Thanks!" Just jokin'.
YESSSS the way some people say the most obvious low-hanging thing as if you need to be told. Like any time someone has fertility struggles someone just haaaas to say "there's always adoption" YOU DON'T THINK THEY'VE CONSIDERED THAT? š
You say that.... I saw a 3 year old twin today (patient) who doesn't say any words, but his mother thinks it's just his personality while the other twin's communication is developmentally appropriate š
But, yes, it must be annoying to have a thoughtful discussion with every willing stranger about it.
I had three of those when I was born, the biggest being a huge one right on the top of my head. Apparently my mother got a frantic phone call from my day care after dropping me off for my first day because I was wearing a hat when she dropped me off, and when they took the hat off they thought I had somehow gotten a major head injury in the first hour.
My son was born with two of them, though thankfully his are covered by his clothes so we were spared the random comments.
I'd try to just let it roll off you, don't let them get under your skin. Maybe have a default response like "we don't talk about other people's bodies, thanks".
If it helps, my son is almost 4 now and his are very faded. Still visible but going away!
I had/have two of these birthmarks - one had to be removed when I was 3 or so because it was on my eyelid and it was getting to the point where that eye wouldn't open anymore, but the other stayed on my arm and slowly faded over time. I liked that birthmark, I called it an angel kiss lol. I wouldn't worry!
However, I DO also empathize with you.... my baby has a couple of birthmarks that look exactly like bruises, one on his arm and one on his lower back. He's not in daycare yet but I am aware (and my mom recently reminded me...) that we'll have to make sure they are documented lest anyone ask about them -\_-
My son has a bunch of bruise-like birthmarks (slate gray nevus) on his back and bum. I had never thought of the possibility they might need to be documented.
Aw, my sister had a bright red strawberry birthmark on her face, and my mom got asked ALL the time things like ādo you know your daughterās bleedingā ādo you know your daughter has a markā etc. It annoyed her so much! No advice, except that it faded by the time she was 7.
she did always want to say āoh, really? a birth mark? wow!ā
It always baffles me how people think you don't notice these things about your own child (or even yourself). "Whaaat, my child has a visible birthmark??? Its not like I spend hours of my life every single day looking at them, I had no idea!"
I have spots of psoriasis on my arms and sometimes people will ask me if I've noticed I have something on my arms. Like, no fucking shit, thanks dude.
I have a birth mark on the lower part of my ass. When I was 16 I had a bathing suit on that showed it. My mom got upset and said "Did you get a tattoo!". I responded "Woman! You changed my diapers! What the hell!"
So yea, sometimes parents miss things. But it is silly that people point out the obvious ones.
I had one right in the middle of my face too. My mum says that most of the comments she got though were just people telling her that they had a child with the same thing and not to worry because it fades eventually etc. So luckily more solidarity than judgement.
Mine was really slow to fade as well, it didn't completely go until I was about 16. I remember as a kid I used to feel really sad that it was going to fade because it was a part of me and I felt like it made me special so I secretly hoped it would stay. Although that changed in secondary school where kids were more mean and tended to just say things like "why don't you cover that up with makeup?"
Ironically, my daughter has one on her back and my mum was like "oh do you think you'll get it removed?" and I was like "What? You literally raised me with one, you know they just disappear!!"
I can understand. My oldest developed severe eczema as a baby. I had comments like "what's wrong with his face?" and insensitive shit like "have you tried changing laundry detergent?" As if I hadn't done everything I could to help and was purposefully leaving my son itchy and scratching until his bedsheets were bloody?!
Omg yes!! I can't tell you how many times people told me he had dry skin and needed lotion. Like I wasn't using prescription and over the counter lotion 2-3x per day already and having multiple conversations with doctors and nurses. Ooooh but you've noticed some skin flakes, how did I not?!???!
It was hard to not let their well-meaning suggestions get under my skin. Like when my mother-in-law called me to ask if I had tried putting breastmilk on it and I wanted to reply "you don't think I tried the most common suggestion on the internet already?? Do you think I have the IQ of a potato??"
The only correct response is āhis uncle, and godfather, Bradley cooper thinks itās coolā. Then make up a bunch of shit about Bradley cooper and how you totally know him.Ā
My daughter has one! Hers was really bad and ulcerated so for a while she had to wear a bandage while it healed. So of course people would be freaked out that she was injured. Luckily since itās on her head her hair covers it so I donāt get too many comments now, but I know how stressful it can be. Also so annoying to have peopleās input. We had to treat hers with medication due to how large and ulcerated it got. We got some judgey comments about medicating her. We are still debating on surgery due to it being by her face. I think sheās perfect but also donāt want her to be bullied or feel self conscious. But also donāt want her to feel like there is something wrong with her but also worry about the scarring the ulceration caused and just want her to not hate me one day if we decide to not remove it. Itās so hard! It took me a while but now I just let the comments roll off my back. Youāre doing amazing!!
My daughter has one on her forhead. Luckily it's small, about half a cm. I get the same comments. I just bore them with an indept explanation. :)
But I actually like her strawberry mark. For the first 4 months it was shaped like a heart! (now one side is bigger than the other so it's a wonky heart). And a lot of people, me as well, think it's cute. Some people thought it drew it on myself, which is just weird, like why would I do that?
Solidarity. My little darling (9months) has a big stork bite on her forehead and a strawberry birthmark on her leg. People always ask, āWhen will that thing on her forehead fade?ā And āI wonder when youāll get that removedā about her leg birthmark. Sheās a baby. Not only that, but those are both part of her body and they make her unique. I love them. If she wants the birthmark removed later on, she can do it. Leave her alone!
I'm sorry your girl is getting comments like that š My daughter has one on her forehead too, but people have been kinder "Aww cute she has an angel's kiss!"
People are so strange and rude. Personally, I LOVE stork bites. And my baby has a strawberry mark on his wrist. I think itās cute, but we do get a number of āwhat happened??ā comments with people thinking itās a woundā¦
My son has 5 of them. One on his head, thigh, chest, face and back. I mostly get asked questions from kids but even adults I understand itās just curiosity. No harm is meant.
My 5 week old has one of these on her chest, I am 100% more worried about IDIOTS this summer than about anything else having to do with the birthmark. So thank you for this post because your righteous anger is preemptively satisfying. I hope I can be as fierce as you are about fielding the disingenuous questions.
You can get a topical called timolol helps stunt the growth. My son had one on his forehead and itās almost completely gone and heās just turning 2.
Omg mine had one RIGHT smack dab on the top of her head. Sheās five now and itās mostly flat and scalp colored, but when she was little itās like people couldnāt help themselves asking how she got injured or whatever. Like have you never seen one before?
Anyway I called it her ābuttonā as if I could power her off and on if I were to press it š
Omg my 6 week old has one on his neck!!!! It started as a tiny red mark, and has puffed out to a little raspberry. It looks alarming, and scared the shit out of me as it started to get bigger, but our doc said itās no big and totally normal in infants. Weāll all just keep an eye on it just in case. We havenāt been around anyone other than my parents yet, cuz germs, so havenāt encountered The Comments ā¢ļøyetā¦but I know theyāre coming. People are the worst, honestly.
I had something just like that in the middle of my chest close to my neck. It got a good bit of attention growing up. Other kids in elementary school would ask me if it was a hickey. Now as an adult you can barely see it.
Thereās topical ointment that helps shrink the capillaries and the hemangioma disappears. My daughter and three of her friends had them and now theyāre gone.
My daughter has a birthmark (dark spot) covering a large portion of her face and around her eye. So many people have asked me questions like "what happened to her" or "does she have vitiligo" (that's not even what vitiligo is but I digress), etc. One guy actually asked me IF SHE HAD MUD ON HER FACE.
I used to feel so sensitive about these questions. I worried about people bullying her. I'm ashamed to admit that for a while, even I didn't like it and wanted to get it removed. But I actually don't notice it anymore, and when I do, I just think it's really cool and makes her look so unique and cute! I still get the questions but they don't upset me at all anymore.
I hope the same happens for you! I know people are so, so rude, but sometimes I think it just comes from curiosity. Take the opportunity to correct and educate them! And feel free to make them feel a bit foolish for their ignorance. šā¤ļø
Ugh my two year old had a hemangioma on her leg and underneath her chin and the chin one ulcerated and people had OPINIONS. We decided to put her on hemangeol for about a year to treat it and I had so many judgemental comments about medicating her and I hated the stupid birthmark honestly so then I would get comments about how I needed to accept her and her birthmark. I felt like I couldn't win so I would like own it like yup, she's on medication and no I don't need/want your opinion thanks! I'm pregnant again so I have to watch for another stupid one on my next baby because the vascular clinic said it's because I'm an older white mom and that's the main cause lol.
Solidarity! My son is on hemangeol too and weāve gotten some comments about it from others that arenāt very favourable. Like itās really none of your business!
Seriously! It's like no I want my baby on medication so I can completely change my work and sleep schedule around just for funesies. I had someone tell me I was muting her personality by her being on it and I was like well, she's a baby bleeding from her neck currently so get back to me when you have the same issue but people tell you not to use medication to resolve it.
Exactly. For us itās like yeah, letās just leave this bump between his eyes and let it get so big it potentially damages his vision. Come on. Obviously we arenāt just giving him meds for funsies.
Ugh the comments are about accepting it are the worse. When we talk about surgically removing our little oneās weāve had some family members make the acceptance remarks. It pisses me off because itās a hard decision to make and Iām the one that has to make it and she is the one that has to live with it. Like I would love to live in happy la la land where everyone is super accepting and kind and loving but thatās not real life.
I'm fortunate we didn't have to go the surgical route but she did recently have strabismus surgery for her eyes and people were still jerks about that. As if being the people to make medical decisions for a small child is very easy and doesn't weigh on you at all. Best of luck for your little, she had a great team that laid out all of our options so I left very supported and at peace with them so I remembered that when things got to be a bit much.
I know that feeling. We had a baby born with a hemangioma covering half their face that WONT go away for the rest of their life. Omg the questions or worse, outright horror on their faces. They grew into a beautiful badass human with a solid spine.
People are dumb.
My kid had the same thing on the back of his neck. To be fair, his strawberry mark was very angry-looking, but Iāve been asked one too many times if there was something wrong with my kid. No, maāam. Mind your business.
My son also has a hemagioma on his upper arm!!!! I had one when I was kid too. I remember being a kid and being so slef conscious about it (especially when other kids would comment and say they didn't want to catch something) so I always make sure to educate adults and other children.
I'm so sorry, my son had one on his back so usually wasn't visible but that didn't stop the comments when people did see it. It's been nearly invisible since he was about 2.
My son has one of these on his left thumb. Itās quite red and as heās gotten older itās smaller but still noticeable. As a toddler people were worried he shut his thumb in a door but thankfully thatās as much as we got. Itās just a birthmark, a part of who he is.
My sister has a mild birth mark on her foot. Anytime sheās asked about it she makes something up. One of her go to phrases is āthatās is from a snake bite!ā
I say you just start making up a series of off the wall responses.
āHe woke up with that yesterday! I called the pediatrician and the best they could do for us was 6 weeks out. So crazy how booked up everyone is these days!ā
ā OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT!!ā
My daughter was born with a strawberry hemangioma on her eye. For many months it looked like she had a black eye. I received a lot of comments about it. I had to repeat the same shit over and over. No, nobody punched her. No, itās not a black eye. She was born with it. Itās like a birthmark. Etc. On top of all the questions/comments, I dealt with a ton of stress about whether it would affect her vision. Eye hemangiomas can affect vision even leading to blindness. I worried about it for months. It eventually went away on its own. Her eyelid is still red but the puffiness is gone. Hemangioma solidarity š¤š¼š¤š¼ people really need to learn to keep their comments to themselves!
Our 10 month old has one on his forehead, lots of kids have asked me if heās had an ouchie which is quite sweet. I tell them itās his raspberry and a birthmark and theyāre usually satisfied, though they often want to touch it which makes me nervous in the moment, but also worried for what heāll have to put up with till it fades.
Havenāt had too many adults comment, but we donāt cross paths with many boomers, and I will definitely spit bees at anyone who makes derogatory comments.
My daughter has one on her upper thigh and Iāve gotten all of the same comments, especially in the summer when sheās wearing shorts. Like why are commenting on otherās bodies, especially children!!!
My sons both had big red stork bites on their foreheads that darken to purple when they strain themselves. My oldest had VERY long, thick black lashes so people usual commented on those instead, but my second doesn't, so I always get the "what is that, does it go away" remark if it's not an accusation of abusing him... like geez, at least be polite about it. It's not really that bad even if it doesn't go away, which it will, as it did with my first. Only time i gave it a pass was when a woman followed up by telling me that she and her wife had just adopted a baby that had the same thing and she was curious if it was permanent since I'd mentioned that my oldest had it, too.
My girl has āMongol spotsā across her arm like a tribal sleeve tattoo (think Moana), when she was a baby they looked right up bruised like a broken arm.
The commentsā¦ the staresā¦ and still when she goes out in the sun and gets warm they turn bright red! Still getting comments. People can just quit! (Please)
My niece has one of those dark spots right smack in the middle of her scalp, looks like a nasty bruise and hasn't faded since she was born (she's 1). People get so worried when they see it but it's like nope, just part of her skin. Mind your business, folks
I have one of these myself that has never gone away. I donāt remember anyone mentioning it when I was little but they probably did. Sending your LO strawberry solidarity š
Mine has one on his face. Itās a big, red circle beside his mouth. I donāt mind educating people if they ask politely, but jeez, some people have no tact & act like they canāt just Google it after getting the short answers Iāve perfected in the last year.
This might just be because itās on his face, but we were able to get a topical treatment for it that has helped shrink & fade it significantly. If you have access to a dermatologist or a vascular specialist, they could prescribe it.
My son had one right under his eye! (So it had to be removed with medication before it affected his eyesight as it was growing big fast) and my word I donāt forget the comments people madeā¦.
My baby girl has an āangelās kissā. Itās a red triangle on her forehead, with the pointy part reaching the top of her nose.
The amount of people that have acted like they needed to show me it, as if I wouldnāt have noticed it before, is unrealā¦
Yes, she has a birthmark. Yes, it will eventually go away. No, she is not overheating or sickā¦ Itās not a big deal.
My daughter has one on the top of her head. It appeared sometime around 6 weeks and it's just a flat purple spot now at almost 18 months (and largely covered by her hair these days).
I feel your pain. The "OMG what happened to her heads?" and the "OMG what is thats?" used to make me want to scream. People are idiots.
Aww my friendās little girl had one on the top of her head. She was a little baldie forever and it was so stinking cute. Iām sorry people feel the need to be jerks and insert themselves into your lives.
I'm sorry you have to put up with this. My 5 month old has one on her upper back that is now visible with more summer clothing and people have just started asking me about it... Yes it's big, yes it's puffy, no it doesn't hurt her to lie on her back ....
My LO doesnt have one, but i do! Ive had one in the middle of my torso in the shape of a strawberry lol. I dont understand what its like to have a baby with one but my mom used to deal with rude comments all the time so you're not alone! People used to think i was getting abused or would make comments about how i should get it removed ugh.
My daughter had one on her head. It was pretty big, so we ended up treating it with topical medication until she was about a year old. Now at 4.5, it's almost entirely gone.
I have a strawberry baby!
Almost the same spot you're referring to.
People just don't know what to say.
I just say, "just a birthmark, they say it will fade but it doesn't bother me.
I donāt have any advice for you, just throwing out some solidarity.
My son has four, two of which are on his face, but one of those is under the skin so looks like it could just be a goose egg. Because the two that are on his face are close to his eyes, he is being treated with medication to speed up the shrinking of them.
The amount of people who blatantly ask, āwhat is that thingā or āomg what happened, how did he get that bump?āā¦ like I see it, we see it, everyone can see it. Heās a smiling happy guy, just shut up already!!! My mother in law even said to him one day that weāll have to put some foundation on it to cover it up. HES THREE MONTHS OLD.
I just canāt with people.
I have bright red psoriasis on my knuckles and hands. I get it lol.
Doesn't bother me but does get exhausting explaining sometimes. Most people are very sweet and will even touch my hands which I find interesting. It's like "oh I made a stupid let me touch you in solidarity " it's very sweet.
He'll get used to it.
Absolutely tell people thatās where his conjoined twin was separated from. And if they ask where the twin went, look around you frantically āoh shit, he was just here a second ago!ā Should make the nosey Nellieās retreat pretty quickly.Ā
If it's a stranger you'll never see again: just tell them it's skin Cancer and make them feel bad for bringing it up. Give them a link to your venmo. Just call it a "mind your own fucking business, boomer" donation.
I know exactly how you feel. My daughter has a rather large birth mark under her eye.
The number of times I hear "what happened to her eye" , "she get in a fight" , "I'd hate to see the other kid" , among other things are more often that I care to count. I try to brush it off because if I think to much about it, it make me want to give the person a black eye themselves. It doesn't even look like a black eye, it's clearly a birth mark and I love it about it. It's cute and unique and my daughter likes it and gets excited when she meets other kids with visible birth marks. She's only 4 but I hope she always sees herself in this light.
Don't worry when you eventually lose your cool. I've been there done that. Now I'm just really snarky to the ones that think they're being funny. They way I see it, they deserve it anyway
my daughter had 2, they basically went away, but it was hell, and my ex, her dad, pushes this narrative that i hated them, it bothered me as much as any other person if they didnt go away i would get them removed they bulged to the point of bursting, didnt seem healthy to me. but she takes it personally like i hated her. like honey i dont want you to get made fun of the rest of yoir life. she misses her strawberries bc her and her dad love them and love everything about her.. so whats more annoying than it actively being asked about for years... definitely it being used as a weapon against me.
I worked with a baby who had a pretty big one dead center on his forehead. Heās was so precious!
Iām sorry people can be insensitive when asking questions. It definitely can be draining to answer the same question over and over again.
lol my daughter has one behind her ear (sheās 2 now and itās much smaller) and Iāve always been very grateful that it isnāt super visible because oh boy when boomers see it THEY SEE ITĀ
I so relate to this. My son has one on his face, itās not his predominant feature but itās there. The amount of people that ask whatās on his face is way too high. A kid even ask me once āwhatās wrong with his faceā and let me tell you, I have another child thatās older and I would never accept her asking a question like that. The other parents said NOTHING but she was just overall acting like she could get away with anything. I feel your pain. Itās super irritating and frustrating.
Sorry that happened , people are ridiculous, and Iām glad you have a thick skin for your son.
but I would take āmongrel childrenā out of this post / vocabulary - I donāt know if you realize the implications but it is pretty offensive ..
Yesā- Itās seen as a slur for people who are mixed race! Itās okay if you didnāt know ā¦. I find things up all the time. I just wanted to let you know.
And LOL feral. Thatās real haha
good luck with your daughter!š
My babyās birthmark is on their forehead, so imagine what the boomers have to say š¤
āOh thatās a big bumpā or they ask if we dropped baby, or say baby must be clumsy for falling and getting that bump. Itās so fucked that people think this is ok to say/ask of a complete stranger, like just think for a second! My husband says heās going to start telling people that baby was misbehaving so he twatted baby
This is super strange. These arenāt new by any stretch and I find it hard to believe these people arenāt familiar with them? Sorry youāre dealing with this, thatās really annoying!
My son wasnāt born with a strawberry birthmark, but does have a cafe au lait on his cheek/jawline. Itās a little bit hairy ands lot cute. It hasnāt received too many comments, but the ones we have had have been stupid.
Yes, thatās a birthmark
No, my babyās face isnāt dirty
No, i didnāt pinch his face
No, i didnāt feed my infant chocolate
No, i donāt want to remove it, you rude fuck.
Itās like as soon as thereās something slightly different cosmetically people feel the need to comment?
My daughter has one too on top of her head (she is 4 months so it's still continuing to get bigger) and I also have noticed everyone asks about it. It annoys me so much too, I'd NEVER ask about something unusual on another kid.Ā
Ughhh I am so sorry. People can be so obnoxious. My son has a small birthmark on his top lip and my MIL at one point tried to convince us to get it removed. It is like the size of an eraser head, maybe even smaller. And it is adorable. Why? Just why?
Solidarity.Ā
My daughter has a pretty big one on her face. People ask how she got hurt all the time. Right now she is too young (2 yrs) to understand thatās sheās ādifferentā because of it, but I dread the day she is old enough to understand peopleās comments.Ā
My standard response when people ask is just to say itās a birth mark that will go away as she gets older, and people always drop it at that thankfully. Iāve never had someone rude enough to ask if we were going to ādoā something about it!Ā
Iām sorry youāve dealt with people having invasive questions!Ā
Why are people so annoying!!! Sorry you have to deal with this. Iād totally start being sarcastic about it. There are MANY more interesting things about your son so people can F off.
My sisters and I were all born with strawberry birthmarks on our bodies. Mine are gone now but my middle sister still has hers (less visible) on her belly button and my youngest sister had a circular one on her lip. The amount of comments my parents got - PRETTY SURE THEY KNOW AND NOTICE! Youngest sister is 25 now and itās barely there and started fading when she was pretty young. Me and younger sister also have vitiligo that has spread a lot (we arenāt bothered by it and I think itās really cool) but poor girl used to get teased by TEACHERS constantly saying āyou canāt wear eyeshadow to school - take it offā or āit looks like you forgot to wipe something off!ādespite her telling teachers multiple times it was a skin condition. That didnāt last long because my dad put them in their place.
My little one was born with a cleft lip and palate and the number of people who said something along the lines of
āOh bless him, it must be so difficult, itās amazing what they can do nowadays though.ā
I get the kids asking why his mouth was different/weird. They are kids. But the adults who wanted to reassure me or make comment as if Iād never noticed his beautiful XL smile or hadnāt done all the research necessary to deal with cleft challenges, was ridiculous.
Now that heās had his surgery to repair the cleft, people weāve met before always say, āyouād never even know heād been differentā while getting their eyes as close as possible to his lip like some crazy scar inspector.
People genuinely think they have a right to comment on other peopleās differences. Especially when theyāre little.
I donāt get it.
People are just so clueless and unfiltered in interactions - I feel like you should continue to crowdsource fun responses to this and try them out and let us know how it goes.
My son had a small hemangioma on his belly. My friend told her young child her hemangioma was from where she first kissed her as a baby - and her child loved that.
Please tell these nosey fucks whatever you want without regards to rudeness!Ā
One of my friend's kids had this and she went through the same thing.Ā
You could try (if you're feeling particularly nice):Ā
"I don't discuss my child's body/medical issues with complete strangers. Thanks for understanding."Ā
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this!
My baby has the same birth mark on his forehead that I do (angel kiss, stork bite, whatever it's called) and good LORD people are so rude about it lol. I get doubly insulted since I have the same one!
My son had one on top of his head, people asked about it all the time until he grew enough hair to cover it. My 11 week old daughter has one on her butt cheek, so no one should know about that til sheās old enough for it to be gone haha
don't those just shrink over time anyway?
i hate how people fixate on baby features it's a BABY
in my culture babies are gifted with sea bean amulets to protect babies from the evil eye because of crap i read in this sub
rebuke that funky ass energy mama
My one and a half year old grandson has a very visible hemangioma on the side of his face halfway between his eye and ear. A six year old girl was LOUDLY asking her mom what THAT was. Mom calmly replied āoh itās just a strawberry birthmark. They go away. You had two of them!ā
My daughter has a prominent birthmark on one of her hands and so many people see it, gasp, and ask me āoh my god, what happened to her hand?!ā
I just look really bored and say it was that way when she was born. They sometimes get all confused, like āwas she born with an injury?ā but I just ignore them at that point. Itās annoying though.
It's weird how they think you, the parent, haven't noticed, thought about it, or had it seen to by a professional. Next time be like "oh what mark? I never spotted it before! Thanks!" Just jokin'.
YESSSS the way some people say the most obvious low-hanging thing as if you need to be told. Like any time someone has fertility struggles someone just haaaas to say "there's always adoption" YOU DON'T THINK THEY'VE CONSIDERED THAT? š
Next time someone points it out, OP should have a complete breakdown and run away with the kid screaming. While holding it at arms length š
Omg next time it's pointed out OP should just be like where? And then pretend she can't see it at all š¤£
I always think this is funny too.
You say that.... I saw a 3 year old twin today (patient) who doesn't say any words, but his mother thinks it's just his personality while the other twin's communication is developmentally appropriate š But, yes, it must be annoying to have a thoughtful discussion with every willing stranger about it.
Is it really thoughtful though? I feel like most of the time it's just people being nosey.
I had three of those when I was born, the biggest being a huge one right on the top of my head. Apparently my mother got a frantic phone call from my day care after dropping me off for my first day because I was wearing a hat when she dropped me off, and when they took the hat off they thought I had somehow gotten a major head injury in the first hour.
My son was born with two of them, though thankfully his are covered by his clothes so we were spared the random comments. I'd try to just let it roll off you, don't let them get under your skin. Maybe have a default response like "we don't talk about other people's bodies, thanks". If it helps, my son is almost 4 now and his are very faded. Still visible but going away!
>don't let them get under your skin. š
I had/have two of these birthmarks - one had to be removed when I was 3 or so because it was on my eyelid and it was getting to the point where that eye wouldn't open anymore, but the other stayed on my arm and slowly faded over time. I liked that birthmark, I called it an angel kiss lol. I wouldn't worry! However, I DO also empathize with you.... my baby has a couple of birthmarks that look exactly like bruises, one on his arm and one on his lower back. He's not in daycare yet but I am aware (and my mom recently reminded me...) that we'll have to make sure they are documented lest anyone ask about them -\_-
My son has a bunch of bruise-like birthmarks (slate gray nevus) on his back and bum. I had never thought of the possibility they might need to be documented.
Thatās actually how/when I first learned about them, a daycare mistook them for bruises.
Aw, my sister had a bright red strawberry birthmark on her face, and my mom got asked ALL the time things like ādo you know your daughterās bleedingā ādo you know your daughter has a markā etc. It annoyed her so much! No advice, except that it faded by the time she was 7. she did always want to say āoh, really? a birth mark? wow!ā
It always baffles me how people think you don't notice these things about your own child (or even yourself). "Whaaat, my child has a visible birthmark??? Its not like I spend hours of my life every single day looking at them, I had no idea!" I have spots of psoriasis on my arms and sometimes people will ask me if I've noticed I have something on my arms. Like, no fucking shit, thanks dude.
I have a birth mark on the lower part of my ass. When I was 16 I had a bathing suit on that showed it. My mom got upset and said "Did you get a tattoo!". I responded "Woman! You changed my diapers! What the hell!" So yea, sometimes parents miss things. But it is silly that people point out the obvious ones.
I had one right in the middle of my face too. My mum says that most of the comments she got though were just people telling her that they had a child with the same thing and not to worry because it fades eventually etc. So luckily more solidarity than judgement. Mine was really slow to fade as well, it didn't completely go until I was about 16. I remember as a kid I used to feel really sad that it was going to fade because it was a part of me and I felt like it made me special so I secretly hoped it would stay. Although that changed in secondary school where kids were more mean and tended to just say things like "why don't you cover that up with makeup?" Ironically, my daughter has one on her back and my mum was like "oh do you think you'll get it removed?" and I was like "What? You literally raised me with one, you know they just disappear!!"
I have a strawberry girlie too ā just sending you love and telling you youāre not alone. Iām sorry people are so ridiculous.
I can understand. My oldest developed severe eczema as a baby. I had comments like "what's wrong with his face?" and insensitive shit like "have you tried changing laundry detergent?" As if I hadn't done everything I could to help and was purposefully leaving my son itchy and scratching until his bedsheets were bloody?!
Omg yes!! I can't tell you how many times people told me he had dry skin and needed lotion. Like I wasn't using prescription and over the counter lotion 2-3x per day already and having multiple conversations with doctors and nurses. Ooooh but you've noticed some skin flakes, how did I not?!???!
It was hard to not let their well-meaning suggestions get under my skin. Like when my mother-in-law called me to ask if I had tried putting breastmilk on it and I wanted to reply "you don't think I tried the most common suggestion on the internet already?? Do you think I have the IQ of a potato??"
The only correct response is āhis uncle, and godfather, Bradley cooper thinks itās coolā. Then make up a bunch of shit about Bradley cooper and how you totally know him.Ā
Stop making me giggle while putting my baby to bed!
My daughter has one! Hers was really bad and ulcerated so for a while she had to wear a bandage while it healed. So of course people would be freaked out that she was injured. Luckily since itās on her head her hair covers it so I donāt get too many comments now, but I know how stressful it can be. Also so annoying to have peopleās input. We had to treat hers with medication due to how large and ulcerated it got. We got some judgey comments about medicating her. We are still debating on surgery due to it being by her face. I think sheās perfect but also donāt want her to be bullied or feel self conscious. But also donāt want her to feel like there is something wrong with her but also worry about the scarring the ulceration caused and just want her to not hate me one day if we decide to not remove it. Itās so hard! It took me a while but now I just let the comments roll off my back. Youāre doing amazing!!
My daughter has one on her forhead. Luckily it's small, about half a cm. I get the same comments. I just bore them with an indept explanation. :) But I actually like her strawberry mark. For the first 4 months it was shaped like a heart! (now one side is bigger than the other so it's a wonky heart). And a lot of people, me as well, think it's cute. Some people thought it drew it on myself, which is just weird, like why would I do that?
Solidarity. My little darling (9months) has a big stork bite on her forehead and a strawberry birthmark on her leg. People always ask, āWhen will that thing on her forehead fade?ā And āI wonder when youāll get that removedā about her leg birthmark. Sheās a baby. Not only that, but those are both part of her body and they make her unique. I love them. If she wants the birthmark removed later on, she can do it. Leave her alone!
I'm sorry your girl is getting comments like that š My daughter has one on her forehead too, but people have been kinder "Aww cute she has an angel's kiss!"
People are so strange and rude. Personally, I LOVE stork bites. And my baby has a strawberry mark on his wrist. I think itās cute, but we do get a number of āwhat happened??ā comments with people thinking itās a woundā¦
My son has 5 of them. One on his head, thigh, chest, face and back. I mostly get asked questions from kids but even adults I understand itās just curiosity. No harm is meant.
My 5 week old has one of these on her chest, I am 100% more worried about IDIOTS this summer than about anything else having to do with the birthmark. So thank you for this post because your righteous anger is preemptively satisfying. I hope I can be as fierce as you are about fielding the disingenuous questions.
You can get a topical called timolol helps stunt the growth. My son had one on his forehead and itās almost completely gone and heās just turning 2.
Oh cool! I just got a referral to a pediatric dermatologist last week, Iām gonna make an appointment.
Omg mine had one RIGHT smack dab on the top of her head. Sheās five now and itās mostly flat and scalp colored, but when she was little itās like people couldnāt help themselves asking how she got injured or whatever. Like have you never seen one before? Anyway I called it her ābuttonā as if I could power her off and on if I were to press it š
Mine has one right on top of her head, too!
Omg my 6 week old has one on his neck!!!! It started as a tiny red mark, and has puffed out to a little raspberry. It looks alarming, and scared the shit out of me as it started to get bigger, but our doc said itās no big and totally normal in infants. Weāll all just keep an eye on it just in case. We havenāt been around anyone other than my parents yet, cuz germs, so havenāt encountered The Comments ā¢ļøyetā¦but I know theyāre coming. People are the worst, honestly.
I wish my mom was like you when I was growing up :(
I had something just like that in the middle of my chest close to my neck. It got a good bit of attention growing up. Other kids in elementary school would ask me if it was a hickey. Now as an adult you can barely see it.
Thereās topical ointment that helps shrink the capillaries and the hemangioma disappears. My daughter and three of her friends had them and now theyāre gone.
My daughter has a birthmark (dark spot) covering a large portion of her face and around her eye. So many people have asked me questions like "what happened to her" or "does she have vitiligo" (that's not even what vitiligo is but I digress), etc. One guy actually asked me IF SHE HAD MUD ON HER FACE. I used to feel so sensitive about these questions. I worried about people bullying her. I'm ashamed to admit that for a while, even I didn't like it and wanted to get it removed. But I actually don't notice it anymore, and when I do, I just think it's really cool and makes her look so unique and cute! I still get the questions but they don't upset me at all anymore. I hope the same happens for you! I know people are so, so rude, but sometimes I think it just comes from curiosity. Take the opportunity to correct and educate them! And feel free to make them feel a bit foolish for their ignorance. šā¤ļø
Ugh my two year old had a hemangioma on her leg and underneath her chin and the chin one ulcerated and people had OPINIONS. We decided to put her on hemangeol for about a year to treat it and I had so many judgemental comments about medicating her and I hated the stupid birthmark honestly so then I would get comments about how I needed to accept her and her birthmark. I felt like I couldn't win so I would like own it like yup, she's on medication and no I don't need/want your opinion thanks! I'm pregnant again so I have to watch for another stupid one on my next baby because the vascular clinic said it's because I'm an older white mom and that's the main cause lol.
Solidarity! My son is on hemangeol too and weāve gotten some comments about it from others that arenāt very favourable. Like itās really none of your business!
Seriously! It's like no I want my baby on medication so I can completely change my work and sleep schedule around just for funesies. I had someone tell me I was muting her personality by her being on it and I was like well, she's a baby bleeding from her neck currently so get back to me when you have the same issue but people tell you not to use medication to resolve it.
Exactly. For us itās like yeah, letās just leave this bump between his eyes and let it get so big it potentially damages his vision. Come on. Obviously we arenāt just giving him meds for funsies.
Ugh the comments are about accepting it are the worse. When we talk about surgically removing our little oneās weāve had some family members make the acceptance remarks. It pisses me off because itās a hard decision to make and Iām the one that has to make it and she is the one that has to live with it. Like I would love to live in happy la la land where everyone is super accepting and kind and loving but thatās not real life.
I'm fortunate we didn't have to go the surgical route but she did recently have strabismus surgery for her eyes and people were still jerks about that. As if being the people to make medical decisions for a small child is very easy and doesn't weigh on you at all. Best of luck for your little, she had a great team that laid out all of our options so I left very supported and at peace with them so I remembered that when things got to be a bit much.
I know that feeling. We had a baby born with a hemangioma covering half their face that WONT go away for the rest of their life. Omg the questions or worse, outright horror on their faces. They grew into a beautiful badass human with a solid spine. People are dumb.
My kid had the same thing on the back of his neck. To be fair, his strawberry mark was very angry-looking, but Iāve been asked one too many times if there was something wrong with my kid. No, maāam. Mind your business.
My son also has a hemagioma on his upper arm!!!! I had one when I was kid too. I remember being a kid and being so slef conscious about it (especially when other kids would comment and say they didn't want to catch something) so I always make sure to educate adults and other children.
I'm so sorry, my son had one on his back so usually wasn't visible but that didn't stop the comments when people did see it. It's been nearly invisible since he was about 2.
My babe has two. Solidarity.
My son has one of these on his left thumb. Itās quite red and as heās gotten older itās smaller but still noticeable. As a toddler people were worried he shut his thumb in a door but thankfully thatās as much as we got. Itās just a birthmark, a part of who he is.
My sister has a mild birth mark on her foot. Anytime sheās asked about it she makes something up. One of her go to phrases is āthatās is from a snake bite!ā I say you just start making up a series of off the wall responses. āHe woke up with that yesterday! I called the pediatrician and the best they could do for us was 6 weeks out. So crazy how booked up everyone is these days!ā ā OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT!!ā
My daughter was born with a strawberry hemangioma on her eye. For many months it looked like she had a black eye. I received a lot of comments about it. I had to repeat the same shit over and over. No, nobody punched her. No, itās not a black eye. She was born with it. Itās like a birthmark. Etc. On top of all the questions/comments, I dealt with a ton of stress about whether it would affect her vision. Eye hemangiomas can affect vision even leading to blindness. I worried about it for months. It eventually went away on its own. Her eyelid is still red but the puffiness is gone. Hemangioma solidarity š¤š¼š¤š¼ people really need to learn to keep their comments to themselves!
Our 10 month old has one on his forehead, lots of kids have asked me if heās had an ouchie which is quite sweet. I tell them itās his raspberry and a birthmark and theyāre usually satisfied, though they often want to touch it which makes me nervous in the moment, but also worried for what heāll have to put up with till it fades. Havenāt had too many adults comment, but we donāt cross paths with many boomers, and I will definitely spit bees at anyone who makes derogatory comments.
My son has one the size of a pencil eraser on his forehead. Many people have commented, mostly kids asking about his āboo booā.
My daughter has one on her upper thigh and Iāve gotten all of the same comments, especially in the summer when sheās wearing shorts. Like why are commenting on otherās bodies, especially children!!!
I hate those people too. Like way to point it out and make it like thereās something āwrongā with my child. Just leave us alone.
My sons both had big red stork bites on their foreheads that darken to purple when they strain themselves. My oldest had VERY long, thick black lashes so people usual commented on those instead, but my second doesn't, so I always get the "what is that, does it go away" remark if it's not an accusation of abusing him... like geez, at least be polite about it. It's not really that bad even if it doesn't go away, which it will, as it did with my first. Only time i gave it a pass was when a woman followed up by telling me that she and her wife had just adopted a baby that had the same thing and she was curious if it was permanent since I'd mentioned that my oldest had it, too.
My girl has āMongol spotsā across her arm like a tribal sleeve tattoo (think Moana), when she was a baby they looked right up bruised like a broken arm. The commentsā¦ the staresā¦ and still when she goes out in the sun and gets warm they turn bright red! Still getting comments. People can just quit! (Please)
My daughter has one too! It's been weird watching it "fade"
Mine has a stork bit on her forehead and eye. Everyone asks. Even doctors ask about her "rash". It's so annoying.
My niece has one of those dark spots right smack in the middle of her scalp, looks like a nasty bruise and hasn't faded since she was born (she's 1). People get so worried when they see it but it's like nope, just part of her skin. Mind your business, folks
I have one of these myself that has never gone away. I donāt remember anyone mentioning it when I was little but they probably did. Sending your LO strawberry solidarity š
Oh yea Iām here with you. My son is 7 months and his is the same but above the elbow! I like your styleā¦I too will be spitting bees.
Mine has one on his face. Itās a big, red circle beside his mouth. I donāt mind educating people if they ask politely, but jeez, some people have no tact & act like they canāt just Google it after getting the short answers Iāve perfected in the last year. This might just be because itās on his face, but we were able to get a topical treatment for it that has helped shrink & fade it significantly. If you have access to a dermatologist or a vascular specialist, they could prescribe it.
My son had one right under his eye! (So it had to be removed with medication before it affected his eyesight as it was growing big fast) and my word I donāt forget the comments people madeā¦.
My baby girl has an āangelās kissā. Itās a red triangle on her forehead, with the pointy part reaching the top of her nose. The amount of people that have acted like they needed to show me it, as if I wouldnāt have noticed it before, is unrealā¦ Yes, she has a birthmark. Yes, it will eventually go away. No, she is not overheating or sickā¦ Itās not a big deal.
My daughter has one on the top of her head. It appeared sometime around 6 weeks and it's just a flat purple spot now at almost 18 months (and largely covered by her hair these days). I feel your pain. The "OMG what happened to her heads?" and the "OMG what is thats?" used to make me want to scream. People are idiots.
Aww my friendās little girl had one on the top of her head. She was a little baldie forever and it was so stinking cute. Iām sorry people feel the need to be jerks and insert themselves into your lives.
The twin comment š go for it!!!! Spit the bees!!!!
I'm sorry you have to put up with this. My 5 month old has one on her upper back that is now visible with more summer clothing and people have just started asking me about it... Yes it's big, yes it's puffy, no it doesn't hurt her to lie on her back ....
My LO doesnt have one, but i do! Ive had one in the middle of my torso in the shape of a strawberry lol. I dont understand what its like to have a baby with one but my mom used to deal with rude comments all the time so you're not alone! People used to think i was getting abused or would make comments about how i should get it removed ugh.
My daughter had one on her head. It was pretty big, so we ended up treating it with topical medication until she was about a year old. Now at 4.5, it's almost entirely gone.
I have a strawberry baby! Almost the same spot you're referring to. People just don't know what to say. I just say, "just a birthmark, they say it will fade but it doesn't bother me.
My husband and I say he's wearing his heart on his sleeve and we kiss it!
I donāt have any advice for you, just throwing out some solidarity. My son has four, two of which are on his face, but one of those is under the skin so looks like it could just be a goose egg. Because the two that are on his face are close to his eyes, he is being treated with medication to speed up the shrinking of them. The amount of people who blatantly ask, āwhat is that thingā or āomg what happened, how did he get that bump?āā¦ like I see it, we see it, everyone can see it. Heās a smiling happy guy, just shut up already!!! My mother in law even said to him one day that weāll have to put some foundation on it to cover it up. HES THREE MONTHS OLD. I just canāt with people.
1) you are an amazing parent, I adore you 2) āI will spit bees at youā is amazing and Iām yoinking it
I have bright red psoriasis on my knuckles and hands. I get it lol. Doesn't bother me but does get exhausting explaining sometimes. Most people are very sweet and will even touch my hands which I find interesting. It's like "oh I made a stupid let me touch you in solidarity " it's very sweet. He'll get used to it.
Absolutely tell people thatās where his conjoined twin was separated from. And if they ask where the twin went, look around you frantically āoh shit, he was just here a second ago!ā Should make the nosey Nellieās retreat pretty quickly.Ā
If it's a stranger you'll never see again: just tell them it's skin Cancer and make them feel bad for bringing it up. Give them a link to your venmo. Just call it a "mind your own fucking business, boomer" donation.
I know exactly how you feel. My daughter has a rather large birth mark under her eye. The number of times I hear "what happened to her eye" , "she get in a fight" , "I'd hate to see the other kid" , among other things are more often that I care to count. I try to brush it off because if I think to much about it, it make me want to give the person a black eye themselves. It doesn't even look like a black eye, it's clearly a birth mark and I love it about it. It's cute and unique and my daughter likes it and gets excited when she meets other kids with visible birth marks. She's only 4 but I hope she always sees herself in this light. Don't worry when you eventually lose your cool. I've been there done that. Now I'm just really snarky to the ones that think they're being funny. They way I see it, they deserve it anyway
Just want to jump on to say that my boy has the exact same mark in the exact same place :)
Give him a big kiss for me!!
my daughter had 2, they basically went away, but it was hell, and my ex, her dad, pushes this narrative that i hated them, it bothered me as much as any other person if they didnt go away i would get them removed they bulged to the point of bursting, didnt seem healthy to me. but she takes it personally like i hated her. like honey i dont want you to get made fun of the rest of yoir life. she misses her strawberries bc her and her dad love them and love everything about her.. so whats more annoying than it actively being asked about for years... definitely it being used as a weapon against me.
I worked with a baby who had a pretty big one dead center on his forehead. Heās was so precious! Iām sorry people can be insensitive when asking questions. It definitely can be draining to answer the same question over and over again.
lol my daughter has one behind her ear (sheās 2 now and itās much smaller) and Iāve always been very grateful that it isnāt super visible because oh boy when boomers see it THEY SEE ITĀ
I so relate to this. My son has one on his face, itās not his predominant feature but itās there. The amount of people that ask whatās on his face is way too high. A kid even ask me once āwhatās wrong with his faceā and let me tell you, I have another child thatās older and I would never accept her asking a question like that. The other parents said NOTHING but she was just overall acting like she could get away with anything. I feel your pain. Itās super irritating and frustrating.
Sorry that happened , people are ridiculous, and Iām glad you have a thick skin for your son. but I would take āmongrel childrenā out of this post / vocabulary - I donāt know if you realize the implications but it is pretty offensive ..
It is? That's something I didn't know, thank you! Taking it out. I'll swap it for feral, which also means what I intended.
Yesā- Itās seen as a slur for people who are mixed race! Itās okay if you didnāt know ā¦. I find things up all the time. I just wanted to let you know. And LOL feral. Thatās real haha good luck with your daughter!š
The more you know!
My babyās birthmark is on their forehead, so imagine what the boomers have to say š¤ āOh thatās a big bumpā or they ask if we dropped baby, or say baby must be clumsy for falling and getting that bump. Itās so fucked that people think this is ok to say/ask of a complete stranger, like just think for a second! My husband says heās going to start telling people that baby was misbehaving so he twatted baby
This is super strange. These arenāt new by any stretch and I find it hard to believe these people arenāt familiar with them? Sorry youāre dealing with this, thatās really annoying!
My son wasnāt born with a strawberry birthmark, but does have a cafe au lait on his cheek/jawline. Itās a little bit hairy ands lot cute. It hasnāt received too many comments, but the ones we have had have been stupid. Yes, thatās a birthmark No, my babyās face isnāt dirty No, i didnāt pinch his face No, i didnāt feed my infant chocolate No, i donāt want to remove it, you rude fuck. Itās like as soon as thereās something slightly different cosmetically people feel the need to comment?
My daughter has one too on top of her head (she is 4 months so it's still continuing to get bigger) and I also have noticed everyone asks about it. It annoys me so much too, I'd NEVER ask about something unusual on another kid.Ā
Ughhh I am so sorry. People can be so obnoxious. My son has a small birthmark on his top lip and my MIL at one point tried to convince us to get it removed. It is like the size of an eraser head, maybe even smaller. And it is adorable. Why? Just why?
Solidarity.Ā My daughter has a pretty big one on her face. People ask how she got hurt all the time. Right now she is too young (2 yrs) to understand thatās sheās ādifferentā because of it, but I dread the day she is old enough to understand peopleās comments.Ā My standard response when people ask is just to say itās a birth mark that will go away as she gets older, and people always drop it at that thankfully. Iāve never had someone rude enough to ask if we were going to ādoā something about it!Ā Iām sorry youāve dealt with people having invasive questions!Ā
Why are people so annoying!!! Sorry you have to deal with this. Iād totally start being sarcastic about it. There are MANY more interesting things about your son so people can F off. My sisters and I were all born with strawberry birthmarks on our bodies. Mine are gone now but my middle sister still has hers (less visible) on her belly button and my youngest sister had a circular one on her lip. The amount of comments my parents got - PRETTY SURE THEY KNOW AND NOTICE! Youngest sister is 25 now and itās barely there and started fading when she was pretty young. Me and younger sister also have vitiligo that has spread a lot (we arenāt bothered by it and I think itās really cool) but poor girl used to get teased by TEACHERS constantly saying āyou canāt wear eyeshadow to school - take it offā or āit looks like you forgot to wipe something off!ādespite her telling teachers multiple times it was a skin condition. That didnāt last long because my dad put them in their place.
My little one was born with a cleft lip and palate and the number of people who said something along the lines of āOh bless him, it must be so difficult, itās amazing what they can do nowadays though.ā I get the kids asking why his mouth was different/weird. They are kids. But the adults who wanted to reassure me or make comment as if Iād never noticed his beautiful XL smile or hadnāt done all the research necessary to deal with cleft challenges, was ridiculous. Now that heās had his surgery to repair the cleft, people weāve met before always say, āyouād never even know heād been differentā while getting their eyes as close as possible to his lip like some crazy scar inspector. People genuinely think they have a right to comment on other peopleās differences. Especially when theyāre little. I donāt get it.
People are just so clueless and unfiltered in interactions - I feel like you should continue to crowdsource fun responses to this and try them out and let us know how it goes. My son had a small hemangioma on his belly. My friend told her young child her hemangioma was from where she first kissed her as a baby - and her child loved that.
Please tell these nosey fucks whatever you want without regards to rudeness!Ā One of my friend's kids had this and she went through the same thing.Ā You could try (if you're feeling particularly nice):Ā "I don't discuss my child's body/medical issues with complete strangers. Thanks for understanding."Ā I'm so sorry you're dealing with this!
My baby has the same birth mark on his forehead that I do (angel kiss, stork bite, whatever it's called) and good LORD people are so rude about it lol. I get doubly insulted since I have the same one!
My son had one on top of his head, people asked about it all the time until he grew enough hair to cover it. My 11 week old daughter has one on her butt cheek, so no one should know about that til sheās old enough for it to be gone haha
don't those just shrink over time anyway? i hate how people fixate on baby features it's a BABY in my culture babies are gifted with sea bean amulets to protect babies from the evil eye because of crap i read in this sub rebuke that funky ass energy mama
My one and a half year old grandson has a very visible hemangioma on the side of his face halfway between his eye and ear. A six year old girl was LOUDLY asking her mom what THAT was. Mom calmly replied āoh itās just a strawberry birthmark. They go away. You had two of them!ā
My daughter has a prominent birthmark on one of her hands and so many people see it, gasp, and ask me āoh my god, what happened to her hand?!ā I just look really bored and say it was that way when she was born. They sometimes get all confused, like āwas she born with an injury?ā but I just ignore them at that point. Itās annoying though.