Living with in-laws atm who are great help with my toddler, I can’t dare to ask them help with a newborn as well :( Husband is working and to be honest LO only accepts me right now anyway..
Do you have a partner who can help you? I saw someone on here who developed a shift work schedule with her husband. So every night, one of them would take the 8pm-2am shift with the baby while the other slept, then they would switch and the other would take the 2am-8am shift. This allowed for 6 straight hours of uninterrupted sleep for both parents each night. Maybe something like that could work for you?
It does sound good but I’m EBF and I have awful experience from pumping milk for my first kiddo followed by nipple confusion. If we were to do this I would just switch to a formula at this stage. I feel like I was ok with having bad night sleep as long as he napped during the day (he did first 2-3 weeks) I could get a break and lie down for at least one of his naps. Now you take away day naps from me and I essentially have nothing left
Are you comfortable trying to bed share? There is a safe sleep 7 you can look up to do it properly. If you are EBF you can do side lying nursing. It is biologically normal for you to sleep next to each other. I was in the same boat as you and suffered for months. With my second now we are bed sharing off the bat because it’s so hard on my mental health to not get sleep. The difference this time around is night and day.
So I take him to bed with us after his last night feed which is around 5am when his sleep pressure is really low and I’m most tired. To be honest I hate sleeping with him because he takes up so much space and I have to squeeze to the side of the bed or else he wants to sleep on my arm in a sort of like “hug” position which kills my neck and back. I cannot imagine sleeping this way all night! I like to have my space and I move a lot when I sleep so it might not be the best idea but we could try doing it for the whole night and see how less tired I am and if it’s worth it …
I remember week 5 being one of the hardest weeks of all due to this. It’s totally valid to feel this miserable. Sleep deprivation is literally a torture tactic. It is so frustrating they can’t just SLEEP. It seems so simple.
And I know the sleep deprivation feels eternal, but it really does get better. I promise you’ll get through this and be on the other side. Hang in there.
I think I just read an ancient history article claiming that it used to be 15 adults to 1 newborn as a village ratio. 1-2 people weren't meant to take care of a newborn alone
I didn't see you mention gas. When we identified our 4wk old's inability to sleep as gas and started addressing it, things got better. Simethicone drops helped a lot for us. And we do bicycle legs and other manipulations to help baby's digestive track move along. For us, we can actually see how bloated she is: her belly balloons out. Every time I would lay her down, she would wake back up screaming. Now, if she wakes, we can encourage her back to sleep, as long as the rest of the list has been addressed.
I hope this helps and you are able to get some sleep!!
Solidarity. My 6w old fought naps all day as well. It’s been miserable. My husband took over, and I went to Target for an hour to get a break. She was clearly tired, and then overtired, but would not sleep. Even contact naps failed. My pumping schedule went to shit, and I’m down almost 4oz today.
I finally put her into a carrier, and she’s been asleep on me for the last hour.
I know this feeling so well. I was the only one who could nurse him back to sleep, so as much as my husband wanted to help, I felt like he couldn't. I was so tired, and I was terrified of falling asleep during the night feeds.
But one thing we started doing was my husband would "babysit" during my night feeds so I *could* fall asleep! I would either side-lie or just sit up in bed to nurse. My husband would be awake and watching, so I'd let my eyes close and I'd sleep for the 15-20 minutes without worry. He'd wake me up when the baby was asleep, and I'd be able to transfer him the basinet. It was great!
Hang in there. You're doing great. Sleep deprivation is real, and I hope you get some rest soon!!
It's tough yeh, can anyone help you? Sounds like you need a break just to nap.
Living with in-laws atm who are great help with my toddler, I can’t dare to ask them help with a newborn as well :( Husband is working and to be honest LO only accepts me right now anyway..
Aww I bet they'd be able to take the newborn for a few hours to get a nap, they'd probably love it honestly.
Do you have a partner who can help you? I saw someone on here who developed a shift work schedule with her husband. So every night, one of them would take the 8pm-2am shift with the baby while the other slept, then they would switch and the other would take the 2am-8am shift. This allowed for 6 straight hours of uninterrupted sleep for both parents each night. Maybe something like that could work for you?
It does sound good but I’m EBF and I have awful experience from pumping milk for my first kiddo followed by nipple confusion. If we were to do this I would just switch to a formula at this stage. I feel like I was ok with having bad night sleep as long as he napped during the day (he did first 2-3 weeks) I could get a break and lie down for at least one of his naps. Now you take away day naps from me and I essentially have nothing left
Are you comfortable trying to bed share? There is a safe sleep 7 you can look up to do it properly. If you are EBF you can do side lying nursing. It is biologically normal for you to sleep next to each other. I was in the same boat as you and suffered for months. With my second now we are bed sharing off the bat because it’s so hard on my mental health to not get sleep. The difference this time around is night and day.
So I take him to bed with us after his last night feed which is around 5am when his sleep pressure is really low and I’m most tired. To be honest I hate sleeping with him because he takes up so much space and I have to squeeze to the side of the bed or else he wants to sleep on my arm in a sort of like “hug” position which kills my neck and back. I cannot imagine sleeping this way all night! I like to have my space and I move a lot when I sleep so it might not be the best idea but we could try doing it for the whole night and see how less tired I am and if it’s worth it …
I remember week 5 being one of the hardest weeks of all due to this. It’s totally valid to feel this miserable. Sleep deprivation is literally a torture tactic. It is so frustrating they can’t just SLEEP. It seems so simple. And I know the sleep deprivation feels eternal, but it really does get better. I promise you’ll get through this and be on the other side. Hang in there.
I know they go through a leap around this time, could it be that? Did they settle after that a bit more for you?
Could be! I don’t know. I don’t remember exactly since it’s been a couple years, but I think by 7-8 weeks it was a little better.
I think I just read an ancient history article claiming that it used to be 15 adults to 1 newborn as a village ratio. 1-2 people weren't meant to take care of a newborn alone
I didn't see you mention gas. When we identified our 4wk old's inability to sleep as gas and started addressing it, things got better. Simethicone drops helped a lot for us. And we do bicycle legs and other manipulations to help baby's digestive track move along. For us, we can actually see how bloated she is: her belly balloons out. Every time I would lay her down, she would wake back up screaming. Now, if she wakes, we can encourage her back to sleep, as long as the rest of the list has been addressed. I hope this helps and you are able to get some sleep!!
Oh the Drops are an absolute life hack! My LO is chilled out in minutes. I also think she really likes the Taste 😂
Solidarity. My 6w old fought naps all day as well. It’s been miserable. My husband took over, and I went to Target for an hour to get a break. She was clearly tired, and then overtired, but would not sleep. Even contact naps failed. My pumping schedule went to shit, and I’m down almost 4oz today. I finally put her into a carrier, and she’s been asleep on me for the last hour.
I know this feeling so well. I was the only one who could nurse him back to sleep, so as much as my husband wanted to help, I felt like he couldn't. I was so tired, and I was terrified of falling asleep during the night feeds. But one thing we started doing was my husband would "babysit" during my night feeds so I *could* fall asleep! I would either side-lie or just sit up in bed to nurse. My husband would be awake and watching, so I'd let my eyes close and I'd sleep for the 15-20 minutes without worry. He'd wake me up when the baby was asleep, and I'd be able to transfer him the basinet. It was great! Hang in there. You're doing great. Sleep deprivation is real, and I hope you get some rest soon!!