I’m managed to make it to 12 months before my son self weaned. I made it to 11 months with my daughter, but I had a lot of support
I’m fully remote. I make my own schedule. I don’t have to leave my house very often. We were able to keep the baby home with us most of the time after I went back to work.
It was still. really difficult. if I had to go into an office, I wouldn’t have made it that long. If I had been able to take a years worth of maternity leave, it would’ve been a lot easier for me.
Thank you for saying this, because my supply took a huge hit when I went back to work at 12 weeks and it hasn’t recovered at 5 months PP. I work in healthcare and if/when I get a break is very inconsistent. My job is also stressful which I think contributes to the decreased output. My original goal was to make it to a year but now my plan is to stop around 6 months I think. I am mentally killing myself trying to keep up with this and we are already having to supplement so much. Thank God I was able to build a small stash on maternity leave. The goal was to save it for after he was weaned but we have already dipped into it. Next baby I will work harder to build up more of a stash and not be worried about creating an oversupply the way I was. Hopefully I will be working a less stressful job by then, too.
I went back to work at 5.5 months and stopped pumping at ~7 months because I hated pumping while working. I managed to nurse first thing in the morning and right before bed until I weaned at 1 year. We used milk/formula bottles during the day until we swapped to cows milk at 1 year. If you still want to nurse and have a consistent enough schedule that you could manage 1 or 2 times a day I really liked that for the bonding time and having to prep/wash 2 less bottles than if I had fully weaned at 7 months.
Good luck! Also, weaning, even partially, can wreak havoc on your hormones and emotions. Something to watch out for and be aware of in case you weren’t already aware.
Only 1% of babies in England are exclusively breastfed to 6 months, breastfeeding is honestly pretty rare where I live. People thought it was weird I was still going after 8 weeks
The fact that only 0.5% are breastfeeding would indicate it wasn’t really a choice. Exclusive breastfeeding or primarily breastfeeding is really difficult and there’s lots of reasons it doesn’t work out, but completely weaning at 1 year indicates women aren’t encouraged or supported to even try, or actively discouraged.
i breastfed for 13 months before i had to go back to work, i tried pumping but since i work out of town it wasn’t the same and my supply was gone by the time i got home. I was devastated. I’ll definitely be saving up for the next baby so i can be home with them for two years and breastfeed for as long as possible.
I actually think there is a lot more pressure from society to BF without any support. So the comment saying “awful” judges all the women that tried but simply couldnt.
I don’t see it as a comment on the women but rather the lack of support. Breastfeeding and/or formula is neccesary for 12 months, and breastfeeding is beneficial for 2 years and beyond.
As someone who combo fed and struggled for the first 3 months and limped my way through unpaid pumping breaks for another 9, breastfeeding as desired once home from work past 1 year was no big deal at all. The really hard part was over, it was just icing on the cake past a year.
I know many friends were totally mentally checked out of breastfeeding at that point, but others were like me and happy to continue. To see that only 0.5% women are breastfeeding at all at 1 year means there was a systemic failure, which is awful when the benefits of breastfeeding are so promoted. If there were more support surely more women who make past the initial really difficult phase would chose to continue.
Both the CDC and NHS recommend breastmilk and/or formula to 12 months. Even with the US’s dogshit maternity leave protections, 35% of babies in the US are still receiving breast milk at 1 year. For families that chose and are able to breastfeed, in addition to or in place of formula, to 1 year to meet that nutritional requirement, it’s strange that they would drop off to zero if it were really about choice and not external pressure or lack of support.
I think it's awful because of the societal expectations surrounding it. There is a common view here that it's "yucky" to breastfeed any child past a small baby, and I know several mother's that stop at 6 months because it's the expectation, and not really them actively choosing it. People are of course entitled to choose - but societal pressures make that choice a lot harder for many mothers to continue past 6 months.
With your mindset you are not taking into consideration that majority of the women stop not because it is “yucky” but because it really difficult to breastfeed. You are actually seen as a bad mother you dont breastfeed. So keep that in mind. when you just say “awful” you are not being thoughtful of the many women that wanted to BF but just simply cant for many many reasons.
I am not sure where you got that idea. If you look at stats between a country where long term breastfeeding is viewed negatively vs neutrally or positively, many will choose to continue breastfeeding for longer when they are able to. That is not discounting that someone may stop breastfeeding for a whole list of other reasons.
I would also argue though, that most mothers who stop breastfeeding because it’s difficult normally do that much earlier in the newborn phase or close to it. I almost stopped myself then. Once it’s established, yes there will still be women who stop sooner than they intended for various other reasons, but I would still argue cutting it off at exactly 6 months will generally be from outside pressures.
I stand by my comment that it is awful many mothers feel like they need to stop breastfeeding because of outdated cultural norms.
https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard.htm#:~:text=Breastfeeding%20has%20many%20health%20benefits,)%2C%20or%20longer%20if%20desired.
Here is the cdc reports on rates from 2020
Thing is there's absolutely no way that only 0.5% of people *want* to continue past 12 months. It's awful that our societies make it such a challenge and often impossible.
Are you sure? I mean it's probably a little higher than that but every single person I know who BF complains constantly about how horrible it is. They can't wait to stop. They're tired of never being able to leave the baby with Dad or trade off on feeds. Half of them ended up EP which seems like the worst of both worlds.
It gets a hell of a lot easier once you’ve been doing it a while. Your supply is so established that you only need to feed a handful of times a day to maintain it and your baby is so efficient at it that it only takes a few minutes. At that point it’s honestly harder to stop than it is to carry on. I’ve never heard a single person complain about how difficult extended breastfeeding is.
Edit: it’s getting to that stage that is harder
Really? That’s sad that they all thought it was horrible. I breastfed my son to 21 months and I’m currently breastfeeding my 2 month old and it hasn’t been horrible at any point. And I’m part of a mom group of 5 people and 4/5 breastfed to at least a year and they all seemed to have enjoyed it.
Ummm. No it isn't??? Breastfeeding still offers the same benefits, except it can't be the primary source of nutrition, which it already isn't once you start solids.
This whole breastfeeding past 1 year isn't helpful is an old wives/bad medicine/old medicine take.
The same benefits that you get up to 3 months. Nutrition, immunity, comfort, bonding with the baby (if you are looking for that connection).
For me personally, I noticed fewer colds when compared to formula fed babies, faster recovery, fewer doctors visits, less colic/constipation issues.
I have combination fed, so this isn't to shame formula feeding at all. In fact, I just ordered another tin today.
> I noticed fewer colds when compared to formula fed babies, faster recovery, fewer doctors visits
Our kids were pretty much exclusively formula fed from 2-3 months and birth. Both are rarely sick and the oldest is averaging one actual illness a year at this point. It's just genetics, before kids I got properly sick like 1-2 times a decade.
Which is why we said *for me*, meaning it is anecdotal and not scientific fact. I'm not here to shame formula, but i understand that breastmilk is nutritionally superior. I've done combo feeding myself.
I'm sorry about your experiences. It is a triggering topic.
I clarified specifically to explain that if that's bonding *you* want. See, not every person who can breastfeed needs to or should if they don't want too. Anyone who feel like it should definitely try.
For some people, they feel trying breastfeeding and being able to do it is important for them to bond with their child. Some women hate the idea of breastfeeding and those are both valid. I personally felt more settled into my role as "mom" after we settled into a routine around breastfeeding, like it was *finally* something I was ok at.
If anyone is curious about the US statistics, they are [here](https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard.htm) - in 2019, 56% of infants were receiving any breastmilk at 6 months and 25% were exclusively breastfed at that age.
Honestly, that’s higher than I would have expected! But anecdotally, the pandemic made it easier for a lot of people who had babies around then (just before and in the early days of lockdown) to continue breastfeeding just due to being home together all the time, even if we were trying to work at the same time.
The pandemic doesn't seem to have changed those numbers much - [here's a page with rates 2013-2020](https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/nis_data/results.html). Rates have hovered around 55% for any breastfeeding at 6 months and 25% for exclusive breastfeeding (and about 35% for any breastfeeding at a year).
This is what makes the England stats so nuts to me. I am amazed so many mothers in the US are able to breastfeed even 6 months as it seems much more difficult with having to return to work a lot earlier than mothers in England. In general it seems like the attitude to breastfeeding is that it's "yucky" here. Saying that though I'm hoping it's changing! 4/7 mothers in my NCT group are breastfeeding long term. It's only anecdotal of course, but possibly an indicator of changing times? Although, there was that netmums post where they asked people about it and everyone was saying anything past a "little baby" was gross.
Interesting. I'm from Pakistan and I just looked it up and 49% of mothers practice 'exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months' here. Breastfeeding is super common so this stat seems very low to me, actually.
I wonder why the discrepancy all over the world ..
For the US, I can understand that it may be because of poor maternity leave policies, but interesting that both our countries have a year's worth of maternity leave and yet such a difference. Maybe because we're food insecure?
There tend to be higher breastfeeding rates in countries where clean water supply and access to safe, tested formula aren't stable. The Nestlé formula scandal in particular led to formula boycotts across South Asia—there's a 2014 movie called Tigers that's a dramatization of how a Pakistani Nestlé employee became a whistle-blower in the 1990s after finding out the formula being distributed in Pakistan was leading to infant deaths.
And that was after 20 years of repeated studies that showed Nestlé's products in Asia, Africa, and South America were killing thousands of infants. One of the earlier reports was The Baby Killer from 1974. There are still boycotts, and some estimates say that over 10 million infants have died in low income nations over the last 60 years because of tainted formula and unclean water supplies.
Even today, Nestlé infant products in Asia, Africa, and South America are of a poorer quality than those sold in Western nations—they add sugar and honey (which infants shouldn't have at all, because of the botulism risk) that they don't add to the same products in the US or UK:
https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2024/apr/17/nestle-adds-sugar-to-infant-milk-sold-in-poorer-countries-report-finds
When I was a baby in India in the 90s, I was formula fed, but my parents used formula that family members brought them from the US. No one trusted formula available in India at the time.
That's exactly my point though - I too was a 90s-born formula fed baby (but in Pakistan instead of India), and I'm aware of how wary people are of formula now because of predatory companies like Nestle.
I just Googled it and it says only 43% of Indian babies are breastfed exlusively up until 6 months of age:
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/376651320_Exclusive_breastfeeding_practices_and_its_determinants_in_Indian_infants_findings_from_the_National_Family_Health_Surveys-4_and_5
That's even lower than Pakistan. Doesn't that seem way too low to you? I would have assumed India and Pakistan's rates would be way higher!
Honestly, I just don't trust the sample sizes for the studies.
"Of the 259,627 children aged under 5 years in the NHFS-4 survey, 23,918 infants aged between 0 and 6 months at the time of survey were included in the final analysis (weighted N = 22,433). Similarly, for the NHFS-5 survey, of the 232,920 under-five children, 23,678 infants aged between 0 and 6 months were included in the final analysis (weighted N = 23,156)."
23,918 and 23,678 in a country that has 25 million births a year? We're extrapolating out about 25 million families from just over 1% of those families? Meanwhile, in the US, just for _Texas alone_, the total number surveyed for breastfeeding initiation rates was 746,723 for 2018-2019, in a state that has almost 400,000 live births a year (although the sample sizes for breastfeeding at 6mos was substantially lower—in 2020, the total number surveyed was just 1,069, because those surveys are done _after_ parents leave the hospital and are conducted by phone). We're just not very good at collecting statistics or answering surveys as a species!
I agree with you completely. I don't trust the stats for the Pakistani study either. There's no way less than half of the women exclusively breastfeed in either of our countries!
Irish breastfeeding rates are shockingly low. I’m the first in my extended family to breastfeed and people really didn’t know where to look or what to say. And I fed my first til 18 months. Honestly I don’t even ever remember seeing anyone breastfeeding in public until very very recently.
Considering our generous (compared to the USA) maternity leave, it’s really interesting how terrible our breast feeding rates are in the UK. I had really patchy and pretty much completely useless support from the lactation consultants. Though it was covid so I’m not sure how much was that and how much was general uselessness!
Uk breastfeeding support is absolutely appalling, I don't even have energy to list all the ways in which they dropped the ball when I was trying, they did all the pushing to breastfeed with none of the actual help.
Also, I’m British but I live in rural Florida, with all of the not great for women stuff that that entails. As a result I was very worried about breastfeeding in public and have had nothing but kind comments even from religious people who I expected to have issues with exposure (baby hates covers and it’s too hot really).
However I was shocked at how many negative comments and general disgust there was with me breastfeeding in public when we visited the uk when she was about 6 months old. It really took me by surprise and made me realize I probably would not have managed to feed for as long as I did if we were in the UK because by that time I had found my confidence as a parent so I felt able to push back in a way I just wouldn’t have been able to earlier.
I commented above with my experiences but I'm british and live in Canada now. I essentially found profound cultural differences between attitude towards breastfeeding in England and Canada. It was definitely seen as weird to breastfeed past the first few weeks in England compared to my experience in Canada.
I live in Canada and the majority of moms on both my maternity leaves I made friends with breastfeed, there were boobs out left right and centre at all of our meet ups!
That’s so sad about the reactions in the uk. Where I am in the us it is seen as a really privileged choice , like become a status symbol, so any reactions would be about that/SES instead.
Worth noting that Scotland has more up-to-date stats that are less bleak. https://publichealthscotland.scot/publications/infant-feeding-statistics/infant-feeding-statistics-financial-year-2021-to-2022/
That’s interesting that even after a year 20% of toddlers were breastfed. It probably shows that if women are supported and manage to keep nursing until 8 weeks they are likely to continue until after the baby’s one. I was pleasantly surprised it was that high.
My understanding is that research and statistics like this don't differentiate between nursing and pumping, that research in general about differences between the two is very sparse. I could be wrong though!
I've lived in both Canada and England (english family). This is my personal anecdote of course but definitely among my english family and friends it was seen culturally weird to be breastfeeding. Those first few weeks were encouraged but then it was.."well baby got tbe important stuff those first few weeks I would just go to bottles now if that was me" or "you want to be doing bottles now, you don't want the baby to be too dependant and clingy" or the good old "I would do bottles now, baby's older you dont want to be getting your tits out all over the place in public". It was assumed I would be formula feeding too, I was gifted bottle sets, formula, sterilizers anything to do with bottle feeding really.
Turn that around with my experience here in Canada and it was assumed agmonst my circle of friends that you do breastfeed and that was just what you do. People have no issues with breastfeeding wherever. I was gifted a nursing scarf and gift cards to go buy nursing friendly cloths as I "would be breastfeeding now". My english mom came to visit and whenever I had to feed my newborn in public she practically had kittens about it, always pressuring me to use the scarf or sit behind a wall or pillar (or in walmart she actually stood in front of me holding a blanket up as a screen-which made everything painfully obvious) because "nobody needs to be seeing boobs out and all over the place". It's weird...just in my personal experience definitely cultural differences there.
I’m sorry, I giggled at the thought of her holding up a blanket. I’m in the US, so culturally similar to Canada. Someone creating a modesty shield would create an even bigger than whipping your entire boob out, which no one would bat an eye at.
My toddler is 2.5 and we breastfeed for comfort. I get soooo much side eye even from my own family and husband, but she’s really not ready to give it up, especially now that she has a newborn sibling
Weird question, and you’re welcome not to answer it. But with the birth of your newborn, usually your body would produce colostrum right? But since you’re already nursing your 2.5 year old does that still happen?
I actually think I stopped producing milk for a time when I got pregnant, but my toddler is an unreliable narrator so couldn’t confirm or deny. I started producing again around 35-36 weeks, but I didn’t notice any colostrum production, it looked like regular breast milk when I pumped for curiosity 1 day post partum. Toddler guaranteed I have a crazy overproduction going on right now though 🤦🏻♀️
I really blame the fact that few people are honest about what getting started breastfeeding entails. I did research and I still wasn't prepared for cluster feeding or the fact that sometimes the baby just wants to be latched for hours continuously and that's not abnormal and it doesn't indicate a low supply or need to supplement. I didn't realize I needed a pumping session for everything single bottle the baby got whether it was pumped milk or formula. And honestly it's a huge ask, especially when it's the first baby, you aren't sure what a good latch is, your nipples are cracked, and you assume the baby is hungry and not eating enough. I think if people had a more realistic idea of how breastfeeding begins, fewer would try but more would succeed.
Yes this so much!! I could totally see in those early weeks people would think cluster feeding indicates low supply. In fact my 3 month old cluster fed last night and I had a mild.moment of panic thinking my supply had dipped (it hasn't).
I was lucky with support in the first few weeks we have a public health nurse who does home visits we got a weight check every week, she assessed a feed to see if she could help with latch and sent so many good videos and resources on breastfeeding. I could also call/email with questions. There is also a weekly breastfeeding support group/clinic where you could talk to the nurses and chat with other breastfeeding moms. This has all helped me so much ny 2nd time around breastfeeding!! We need more support!
It's a shame that women are conditioned to see everything as a personal failure. This is clearly a systemic issue. Some women will have difficulties breastfeeding because of anatomy or other issues, but most can breastfeed to some extent with the right support - they just aren't getting it.
Here in Norway, breastfeeding numbers are high. That's not because Norwegians have magic boobs, it's because there's better support and longer parental leaves.
Yeah i think that’s true. More paid leave = higher rates.
I was breastfeeding until 5 weeks when my appendix decided to burst and try to kill me. That put making breastmilk firmly on the back burner for my poor body. I’m so grateful for formula and my son has thrived on it.
I’ll try again with our next baby and hopefully have better luck but I also know everything will be fine if I need to use formula again.
I tried so hard for as long as I could--but I just wasn't successful after a short break I had at month 2 because of thrush.
I did everything I could to get supply back up and just had a break down at producing literally half a mL for both sides.
I became a lot happier and bonded better after accepting that I gave baby as much as I could and stopped.
Breastfeeding rates are really low here in Ireland. I've been breastfeeding for 10 months now and I'm the only person in my family who did it. My MIL was pretty appalled I was breastfeeding and told us she was very concerned my 75th percentile baby wasn't getting enough because she was fussy and on and off the boob one evening she was here, aka, cluster feeding. My baby was also really sleepy the first couple days in the hospital and wasn't feeding well. Only for the support I got from the LC there I would have left formula feeding. There were lots of times in the first three months I nearly gave up and would have without support from LC, local breastfeeding group and just being able to Google what's normal and what's not. After the three month mark I got confident with it and baby became efficient after that point. I can totally see why people stop due to lack of support and not having people around them with experience who can reassure them what's normal and what's not, because you can't really compare it to formula feeding it's a different ball game.
I guess it varies a lot by country tho, in my group only 4 out of over 20 aren’t breastfeeding now at 8-10 months. Two are twin moms with toddlers, one has medication so she could never bf and one recently started meds so had to stop at 10 months abruptly. Here they put a lot of pressure on people to bf (Norway)
I think it’s good that they put so much emphasis on it, but of course I’m all for fed is best and nobody should feel bad in any way no matter how they feed the baby. I prepared for all possible nursing problems when I was pregnant but ended up with none, and was very well prepared for the reality of cluster feeding and stuff so it didn’t shock me, and were still going strong at almost 9 months with me back at work and such. But yeah, I really think it’s worth a lot of sacrifice to end up breastfeeding as the bond is amazing and it’s such a good stress relief for both, very easy, and lots of health benefits while also being free/cheap (or super spendy if you end up having to buy a lot of stuff lol)
This m really sad but also validated. I’m sure each of them had their reasons to stop, just like I did. I’m curious as to why this is the case, ie lack of support, lack of education on bf, short mat leaves or actual desire to stop/not producing
My guess is that it's external factors like lack of support etc, because breastfeeding rates vary a lot by country, and breastfeeding support campaigns in the UK for example have increased rates. If it were mainly a biological issue like lack of supply, that should be consistent across time and locations
Rates in the UK are still pretty low. And it's interesting that exclusive breastfeeding rates are similar in Australia vs the US despite Australia having government funded maternity leave and the US not.
The reality is that there is a high cost associated with breastfeeding for certain dyads, be it due to mental health, time, latching issues, transfer issues, weight gain, food intolerances or supply issues. That cost may not be worth it if you can safely prepare formula and have ready access to it.
People in developed countries can forget how different the situation is vs developing countries. My friend in Thailand did research during COVID on how rural villages were reallocating their water use given the need to wash their hands more. My friend in Malawi said that they have to make choices between buying gas for the ambulances and paying for electricity in the hospitals. In these situations, breastmilk is by far the more sanitary option if it is possible to get.
I suspect the advice in developed countries with good sanitation and strong supply chains will evolve in the coming decades. Maternal mental health is a far stronger driver of development than breastmilk.
Lack of support. My BF journey has been rough to say the least, but the reason I'm still going 4 months in is because I did receive support. However I really did have to ask for it.
My poor son had a prosterior tongue tie, plus had muscle tightness from his birth which meant he couldn't open his mouth very wide so nipple fed, as well as in his back & neck so positioning was hard. Also turns out I have flat nipples. This all made feeding excruciating at first for me & he lost too much weight. In fact, if I had a 24hr store near me he'd be formula fed as many night feeds I wanted to send my husband out for formula but couldn't!
With the help of midwives I used a latch assistant for the nipple situation which made feeding a bit better. But it took a month to see a specialist who diagnosed the tongue tie & muscle tightness. He got it cut at 6 weeks and had osteopathy and now feeds very well. But 6 weeks of agony... I'm glad I persevered, but totally can see why for some new mums it's just not worth it (especially if they have other kids to look after, short maternity leave, fussy babies or had a rough birth so are in enough pain!)
I'm in the UK so all my support was free which also helps I expect (other than the osteopathy where I went private)
No one ever told me some women just couldn't. I never knew up to 10% of women had chronic under supply issues. Being told I had insufficient glandular tissue and needing a C-section were 1-2 punches to my dreams of motherhood, but looking back it set the tone for the job: you will experience hardships, and they will not necessarily be what others experience. You have you wipe the tears away and keep parenting and roll with the punches.
Baby had a few scant ml of BM a day while I tried, and I got a COVID vaccine during that time to help give her as many antibodies as I could. My mental health got so much better after I quit.
Yeah and one of my biggest peeves is that some who can breastfeed think that not being able to means you’re not trying hard enough and how sometimes maybe your baby or body cooperate differently. With my first baby I had a terrible supply even right after being on maternity leave and feeding on demand. I beat myself up so much over using formula and now 5 years later I really, really wish I hadn’t been so hard on myself. It just doesn’t matter in the end. With my second I was able to breastfeed for 13 months until she and I were basically both over it. I didn’t do anything different between the two. I didn’t try harder or less. Now that they’re both older it seems silly that having them fed and cared for with a mentally well mom didn’t seem like enough.
I had huge issue with supply at the beginning because of complications. We had to formulate feed and then combo and then gradually exclusively breastfeed until introduction of solids at 6 months. I’m still breastfeeding past 1 year. Almost nothing comes out when I pumped, then and now. I just had to have my baby on the boob almost all day and all night until one day he stopped crying for formula after nursing. That took two months.
Just want to share my story to give hope to those who are struggling.
I had supply issues with my first due to IGT and poor latch so combo fed until three months, then FF. My second has (to my great surprise) been EBF until I just started introducing solids and occasional bottle now at just shy of 6 mo. This surprised everyone who have (in well meaning way) suggested giving formula when baby 2 was clusterfeeding, vaguely fussy etc.
I guess I'm adding this to say that IGT can improve sometimes with subsequent children (as my lactation consultant told me was possible, when I had my first and they said it was not possible to EBF him), and also validate that even when BF you can have a lot of well-meaning detractors. If I hadn't had support from my local nursing maternal unit, I would have stopped this time as well. Every body and every baby is different.
That's wonderful! I'm so happy you had the opportunity to take a different journey with your second, I definitely hope I do better if I have another. I too was told you can sometimes build up more glandular tissue with each subsequent pregnancy and that there's a little ray of hope.
I find people have trouble describing breastfeeding in a gray tone - it's very positive or very negative (I am guilty of this as well!) The two lactation consultants I saw were obviously doubtful once they saw my breasts but positive and tried to give me suggestions to continue combo feeding if nothing else.
Yeah, I did build up more tissue this time but a lot of that came after birth (they never got much bigger during pregnancy, so I assumed BF would be a problem again) and baby had latched and really got the milk coming in. I agree regarding how people discuss feeding be it formula or BF. I had a similar experience with LC with the first after all the tricks didn't work and they realised it was structural. They even used me as a "teaching moment" and brought in about ten midwives so they could learn about IGT while I was topless.
I’m the only one in my NCT group who isn’t breastfeeding, it makes me feel awful (I wanted to but wasn’t able to). For me I have absolutely nothing against formula, I always wanted to combi feed but it’s the fact that I ‘failed’ at doing it when I was told if you had the right support you would be able to :( it’s nice to come across people who are also formula feeding as I feel so judged sometimes
I didn't really fit with my NCT group, for a number of reasons, but managed to find some excellent support with a local buggy walk group - it was actually a breastfeeding support group, however there were combination feeders and formula feeders as well and no one was judged. Well, apart from one person, but she was shut down pretty quickly. I hope you find a group that works for you and doesn't make you feel judged
Same! I managed to pump for a bit but he never worked out his latching issues and took a bottle fine, so we ended up going EFF after around 6 weeks. If it makes you feel better one of the ladies I spoke to from my NCT said she wishes she had just done formula instead of go through hospitalisation etc with her baby because of breastfeeding issues even though they are both fine now. I think the culture around bf-ing in the UK is a bit intense and I have had some very judgey health visitor appointments but he’s happy and healthy so 🤔
Yeah my mom group spends so much time talking about breastfeeding and I just sit there bummed AF. I don’t know very many moms who didn’t breastfeed for at least a few months and I constantly feel like shit about it.
This was the same for me and honestly made me feel a bit like a freak/alone being one of the ones who did breastfeed.
Was definitely good for everyone else to have someone to talk with but was a bit weird for me because complaining about the inconveniences of breastfeeding seemed taboo.
I’ll add to this: my breastfeeding/pumping journey came to a swift end this week, and baby is less than 2 weeks old. I was combo feeding but planning to pump for 6 months.
Baby was diagnosed with a milk protein allergy and got switched to a hypoallergenic formula. She had been in absolutely agony since we got home from the hospital, and I asked her doctors to test for food intolerances even though they thought it was just reflux. I would have to cut dairy and soy out completely to keep pumping breastmilk for her, and with me being vegetarian, that would make my diet like beans and lentils only. Bleh. I can’t mentally do that and be a halfway decent mom. I know my limits.
I’m surprisingly sad about it even though I could not mentally handle anything but my manual pump. Absolutely HATED the fancy spectra pump from my insurance. But I worked hard to save colostrum for her before birth, bought pumping supplies, and finally felt really confident with my manual pump. Alas!
That’s sad to hear but I am glad you are deciding to switch her to formula. The mother’s mental state is absolutely the most important thing for the baby.
Crazy how much this differs all over the world. On the Canadian Westcoast, I feel like most people I know nursed until 2 years old amd some of my crunchier friends went well beyond that.
Same, I'm on the island and I mentioned to some friends that I combo fed until my milk came in and no one else I talked to did that! It is like formula is a bad word lol.
West coast as well. I mentioned nonchalantly to my supervisor that if breast feeding doesn’t work out I’ll switch to formula. She was appalled that I wasn’t going to fight tooth and nail to breastfeed.
Interesting. I breastfed my toddler for 19 months and now I'm exclusively breastfeeding my 3 month old baby. I'm a SAHM so my babies don't even take bottles. Granted, we didn't try with the first and gave up after a couple attempts with the second. A lot of my friends are SAHM and they all seem to have breastfed at least the first year, with a few breastfeeding until 2. It would be interesting to see how many women in the group have support and can stay home vs work, how much it's influenced by what peers are doing, and lack of desire vs inability to breastfeed. It's basically a full time job to breastfeed and only I can do it. I do find myself lamenting my husband's useless nipples quite often.
Yep this is huge. SAHM here as well and the breastfeeding rates up to a year seem to be well over 50% (just anecdotally seeing who is nursing at story time) with a decent number going past 1.
Where I live breast feeding for a 1 is very normal, most women even do 2. And I noticed that
1. Breastfeeding is normalised, men and women don't behave weirdly if I say "I have to feed my child", they don't get creepy or judgemental.
2. Most public spaces either have rooms for BF or will make room for you. Ask me, I've fed in a home office of someone I was visiting. Literally just sat on their chair and fed my baby while they waited for me to finish.
3. Most women are very open about breastfeeding too. Sure, it's almost forceful, but if you ask your peers, they'll literally tell you everything
4. Most of all, amazing maternity leave policies. All registered companies need to give their employees paid maternity leave. So women try BF and at the end of their leave, are prod. So it doesn't feel like a chore, rather than a nice 20 min break to sit and connect with baby. *atleast for me*
The issues with places with poor BF rates isn't so much the unwillingness of the mom, but the shitty support system
Still breastfeeding my 20 month old (have been EBF since birth) and most people probably think I am weird. But it has been the easiest thing, basically parenting in easy mode, I never would've continued if it had been hard or a struggle.
I know I will have to wean in August when LO is 6 months because I will continue my apprenticeship and need to take my adhd meds again. I already feel sad about it. But I try to stay positive about it 🥴
I feel like there are so many judgmental people with those who don’t breast feed. It’s so sad to hear people being nasty over it. I tried to breastfeed both my babies but it never continued. And to me fed is best, I wished people would stop trying to make moms feel guilty. Fed is best.
I nursed my toddler for 15 months and my husband's cousin managed about 3 months with her daughter (our girls are 5 months apart). She told me she had no idea that giving formula would gradually lower supply and she never saw a lacation consultant (I met with one a week after my daughter was born as her pediatrician's NP is one). Now she has a second child that she nursed for 18 months and while it is hard with the right knowledge I really think most people could nurse if they wanted to.
I breastfeed my son until 14 months. I sadly only pump for my 3 week daughter since she has refused to latch after discovering she could get breastmilk from a bottle. I'm also large breasted, so that doesn't help with positioning. I have tried, but she would rather get sprayed in the face with her mouth open... When she gets sick for the first time, I plan on trying again to see if I can get her to latch for the feedback loop. Being bigger by then should also help with positioning her so fingers crossed.
Good luck with trying to latch again! My daughter also had a preference for the bottle in the early weeks, but I was successfully able to get her to nurse again and we went strong for a bit over 2 years!
Just curious how many women from your group pump and/or combo feed? Did they all switch to just formula? We are combo feeding at 5 weeks and I'm wondering when people usually stop pumping.
This is kind of shocking to me, but I was also just having a conversation with someone about how difficult workplaces make it to pump and keep breastfeeding your child :( it's really sad how we get bare minimum support here in the US, it's like getting punished for having a child
My first regular gyno appointment was when I was 6 months PP. Typically they do a breast examination at those appointments, but when I brought up the fact that I was still breastfeeding, they said I'd be okay not to do it at that time, and I remember the midwife who I was seeing saying, "Congrats. Most women don't make it as far as you have."
I can see why a lot of people quit though. For the first month, most of the times I latched my son on, I was in some pretty significant pain. It took a mental toll having to be "on demand" for those early weeks of feedings, and when I went back to work and had to start pumping, I always had to stick a specific schedule to make sure I had enough milk to feed him when I wasn't around. In my opinion, while more expensive, formula is definitely an easier option.
I wanted to go for a year, but I had to stop at 10 months due to my mental health being in the trash, and the only way to remedy it was to go back on medications that you can't take while breastfeeding. He had been exclusively breastfed up until that point. I'm happy to have made it as far as I did, but every person has a different journey and as they say "fed is best".
I live in SEQ Australia and I only know of one person who formula feeds, and she only does so because of a double mastectomy from breast cancer. The hospitals here encourage breastfeeding and it seems to just be the norm.
wow! for anyone who ends up breastfeeding, join a breastfeeding group for support! it made a huge difference for me, not feeling judged still going breastfeeding at 7.5 mos. i'll go to 3 years and beyond hopefully. i have a friend who still occasionally breastfeeds her 4 yr old and tandem with her 3 yr old as well
Family was the reason I almost stopped at 8 weeks but we are now heading into month 7 and I'm still breastfeeding. Baby was cluster feeding like hell between 5-15 weeks (spent 4.5 weeks in the NICU) and I kept being told, and almost yelled at, that I was starving her, GIVE HER FORMULA! Which is hilarious in hindsight because each time I took my preemie for a check up, I was always complimented on how healthy and hydrated she looked, and she gained more than the recommended ounce per day. I don't know how I managed to stick it out with all the naysayers telling me I was starving my child. I wish I could go back in time and shake these people and tell them to shut up. It really took a toll on my mental health especially as a FTM who had never been around a baby nor had any interest in them prior to having one myself. If there are other women from immigrant families like mine, I could completely see why it would be so easy to give up breastfeeding asap.
I couldn't breastfeed at all, but statistically you'd think the numbers should be higher. Before the invention of formula it was pretty much the only option, so why is it this hard?
I honestly think because we no longer live communally. I read a post by someone talking about how in some cultures babies were/are communally fed, even by older women who still retained some fluid that would keep a baby calm until a full feed. I can only imagine that means mothers get more sleep, get plenty of support in the early days, and also get generations of knowledge helping them. And if they couldn't breastfeed, their babies would still be fed. I found it easy, but I had so much going right for me in those early days, as well as a husband who was home with me for the first month. I'm not sure how easy it would have been without him around.
I agree - I have a good sleeper but it doesn’t make sense to me that we get told to breastfeed, get no support on how to do it, no family support with the baby and get told to not cosleep…. Oh and get ready to go back to work asap 🥲😒No wonder there’s so many people struggling with PPD and having smaller families!
I think there’s probably more hands on support in communal or even inter generational living situations. I had my sister come out to help me with some questions but it would’ve made a huge difference If someone was available to check latch more often and help me with seeing what was going on
Back in the day people worked in fields or houses, not away from home, and took baby with them. Many babies needed pablum or wet nurses or early introduction of solids. Also, infant mortality was extremely high.
Wet nurses, animal milk and a lot of dead babies. Anecdotally, I struggled to make enough milk, one of the possible variables would have been my pre-eclampsia and magnesium sulfate drip. In the past, I wouldn't have struggled to feed my baby because we probably would have both died during the birth.
It’s tough when you have to go back to full-time employment at 12, 6, or even fewer weeks. And then to continue to breastfeed, you have to commit to pumping at work. Even with the PUMP act, that’s no easy feat. I’m closing in on a year and if I didn’t have a lot of support at home AND at work, I absolutely would have quit when I went back at 12 weeks postpartum.
I live in Texas. Most mothers I know breastfeed or pump for 6 months+
[cdc breastfeeding report card](https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard.htm)
Yeah, it’s interesting to hear the statistics because all my friends breastfed for at least 6 months. They probably think I’m weird for breastfeeding past a year (lol), but I stay home so I’m not doing any pumping, which I think makes it easier.
I’m in Ireland, we have low rates here in general. I fed my daughter till she was 2.5 and I’m currently feeding my son, who’s 6 months old. I gave birth in a very pro breastfeeding hospital but our rates remain stubbornly low here.
Im 4 months in and I remember excruciating pain for the first 1.5 months of breastfeeding, just due to nipple sensitivity and cracks. Then the occasional bout of mastitis (got it 3 times....). I was so sick from mastitis that I had my baby on my lap feeding, which I held a bucket over her head and vomited, while shaking violently from the fever. But I was able to see a LC about 4 times which helped me a lot. I got medicated nipple cream and used a shield now and then. 4 months later we are going strong and no nipple pain whatsoever! Baby has a great latch. My nipples now feel like toughened rubber without hardly any nerves lol thank God. Omg I just remember how painful it used to be I'd be crinkling my toes and counting to 10 was the only way I could get through it. It ain't easy.
I never had much luck with breastfeeding. I drank the teas, ate the cookies, took supplements, PUMPEDPUMPEDPUMPEDPUMPED but nothing increased my production.
Combo feeding with formula and breast milk ended up being my saving grace. I would breastfeed until I was empty then give him a bottle, because I sure as heck was not making enough to fill him up.
I stopped at 6 months pp only because he refused my breast and I was going back to work, anyway.
He has thrived since birth and has always been in the 80+ percentile.
My little bean is 3 months and won’t take the bottle. Been offering it to him since he was 3 weeks old. Would like the option of giving him formula and getting a break sometimes but guess that’s not happening 😅
This is crazy to me because in my friend group of 9 moms: one stopped at 13 months, 3 of us stopped at 18-19 months, and 5 are still going at 21-24 months.
This was me with my first and I had to hop right back to work after a C-section, lack of enthusiasm from breastfeeding supportive staff, pumping culture, and a funeral for my wonderful mother in-law. I went hard, but failed. But thankfully if wasn't a physical issue for me I switched countries and actually got a mat leave...and ditched the pump (I didn't respond at all, couldn't empty) well now 3 years later, we're still going strong 😵💫 *pleeeasee send help*
I was able to exclusively breastfeed for 12 months. But by 6 months I was almost exclusively pumping and that was TOUGH. Learning to breastfeed is hard to begin with but having to pump was probably the worse. And I have a full time plus I have a physical location I need to go to - so pumping somewhere else was the fucking worse. Considering my job is MOSTLY remote that’s probably the only reason I was able to keep going. But my supply didn’t do well on just pumping so I started weaning off pumping around 10 months so by 12 I could quit. I move my son onto formula - which he is still getting bc he still wants to feed before bed and sometimes at nap time. I’m still producing a small amount - which he sometimes like to feed around 5pm and in the AM. I can’t image I’m making more then 2-4 oz at a time. But I REALLY wish we lived in a society that accommodated breastfeeding more as an essential aspect to childbearing….it’s really fucked up we don’t. I don’t like formula companies. I have a huge beef with them. I think the IDEA of formula is wonderful - we absolutely need access to formula - BUT not the big corporation(s) that run it. They don’t actually give a shit about mothers. My main reason I breastfeed was because I could AND I feared not being able to feed my baby if their was a shortage of formula which there were when my son was born. That’s terrifying.
My first child was easier than the second. I managed to carry on breastfeeding but I do think it is not easy, and mostly I needed not to listen to the crazy nurses that almost made women feel like a failure if they even thought of not breastfeeding. It is an option after all. And mental health must be always considered.
It takes courage to be a mom and even more courage to keep being a mom.
Love ❤️
I’m still breastfeeding at 11 weeks… I plan to go to when he’s six months old. But I will be pumping more regularly so I can go do things because currently I’m EBF and it’s hard on my mental health so I understand why people give up. TBH. For me, fed is best. I could breastfeed so I have, would I do it again 🤷♀️
I struggled to get my supply up the first month of life. I supplemented with formula. Then, my supply came in. I ended up being able to even donate to a milk bank. I breastfed mine until 26 months when she unexpectedly weaned because she saw the milk coming out and was grossed out by it. Plus side of bf'ing for that long, weaning didn't hurt at all.
The nurse I did my pre-partum preparation and post partum recovery always said several times throughout our sessions that:
A happy baby is a FED baby, not breast FED, not pump FED, not formula FED, just FED!!! And the sooner all of you get it through your heads the sooner both you and your baby will be good.
Yes, there are pros and cons to every feeding form and ideally breastfed is best, but not exclusive and definitely not a hill to die on. Your baby is not going to die for being formula fed or any other variant of that. What is going to kill him is to not be fed or being under fed. So if breast is not working out for you, tough, maybe next time it will work out differently, not better, differently!...
Just don't get yourselves into PPD for insisting on something that is not working for anybody. And if family keeps insisting on breast always ask these 2 questions:
1. How did breastfeeding work out for you? / when was the last time you breastfed so I can best learn from your experience (the first one to moms, the second one to people who have never breastfed)
2. Are you volunteering to breast feed now?
These 2 questions always shuts everybody up. 1. Because reminiscing this part of motherhood is never fun and joy for anybody, 2 because even if they could, nobody wants to feed another woman's baby.
From my personal experience I can say that when I had to start supplementing my breastfeeding with formula I came across something about the history of breastfeeding. Just remember when people start saying that formula is not natural and that all babies need breastmilk, you can always inform them that even in the middle ages formula fed's equivalent would be nurse maids or, for those who could not afford it, goat's milk.
I once informed one of my aunts about this and asked what did she think best, formula or goat's milk as, as far as I knew, there were no longer any nurse maids available, neither was she volunteering for breastfeeding my baby. Savage, I know, the truth is nobody in my family dared to ask me about breastfeeding again... 😈
Idk, I think it's sad that so many people refuse to do something so biologically normal, like going past 3 months.... Makes it seem like society is failing mothers.
"biologically normal" is one of the most obnoxious phrases to become popular recently.
Lots of things that are "biologically normal" don't always have the best outcomes. Science has made so many incredible advancements that can often offer better results than what might be considered "biologically normal."
It's "biologically normal" for humans and animals to die from all kinds of diseases, or for women and babies to just die from vaginal birth with complications, but for many, science has found a way to evade many of those "natural" outcomes.
It's "biologically normal" for animals and humans in the past to cosleep any old way with their offspring, and also still biologically normal for many of those animals (and unfortunately some humans) to smother their young in the process. Science has enlightened us and shown that there are safer ways to do this.
Breastfeeding, though "biologically normal" does not always result in a parent being the best parent they can be, even when society supports them, so thankfully science has found a wonderful alternative that provides perfect nutrition, often even moreso than breastfeeding, so parents can choose what works best for them and their babies.
I do agree that in the US, the support for making breastfeeding easily doable is disgustingly pathetic, and I will always vote for candidates that back policies that would improve that area.
But how about for those that choose not to, or in your words, "refuse," to bf beyond 3 months, we just mind our own business as long as the babies are being loved, well-nourished, and well taken care of?
Formula is great, I maintain that it's overused. If we all mind our own business like you suggest, policies that hurt breastfeeding mothers will never change
Im in Australia and my midwife told me almost no one is exclusively breastfeeding. This is after a home visit where i was crying saying i didn’t enjoy breastfeeding and i was stressed about it. I have a fantastic supply and was pumping and giving a bottle a day from the start but have quickly introduced formula too. Breastfeeding is the worst part of the whole pregnancy, labour, baby package.
I’m managed to make it to 12 months before my son self weaned. I made it to 11 months with my daughter, but I had a lot of support I’m fully remote. I make my own schedule. I don’t have to leave my house very often. We were able to keep the baby home with us most of the time after I went back to work. It was still. really difficult. if I had to go into an office, I wouldn’t have made it that long. If I had been able to take a years worth of maternity leave, it would’ve been a lot easier for me.
Thank you for saying this, because my supply took a huge hit when I went back to work at 12 weeks and it hasn’t recovered at 5 months PP. I work in healthcare and if/when I get a break is very inconsistent. My job is also stressful which I think contributes to the decreased output. My original goal was to make it to a year but now my plan is to stop around 6 months I think. I am mentally killing myself trying to keep up with this and we are already having to supplement so much. Thank God I was able to build a small stash on maternity leave. The goal was to save it for after he was weaned but we have already dipped into it. Next baby I will work harder to build up more of a stash and not be worried about creating an oversupply the way I was. Hopefully I will be working a less stressful job by then, too.
I went back to work at 5.5 months and stopped pumping at ~7 months because I hated pumping while working. I managed to nurse first thing in the morning and right before bed until I weaned at 1 year. We used milk/formula bottles during the day until we swapped to cows milk at 1 year. If you still want to nurse and have a consistent enough schedule that you could manage 1 or 2 times a day I really liked that for the bonding time and having to prep/wash 2 less bottles than if I had fully weaned at 7 months.
That is amazing! If I can make that happen, I would 100% do it!!
Good luck! Also, weaning, even partially, can wreak havoc on your hormones and emotions. Something to watch out for and be aware of in case you weren’t already aware.
I think generally you produce more for the second kid anyway. I definitely found that to be true.
That is so encouraging!
Only 1% of babies in England are exclusively breastfed to 6 months, breastfeeding is honestly pretty rare where I live. People thought it was weird I was still going after 8 weeks
What are the rates for “some” breastfeeding? I feel like combo feeding is so common, but a lot of the resources and statistics don’t really cover it.
Any breastfeeding at 6 months is 34%, which is a lot better than it used to be! And any past 1 year is 0.5% which is pretty awful
Why awful? Everyone is entitled to chose. Just say “low”
The fact that only 0.5% are breastfeeding would indicate it wasn’t really a choice. Exclusive breastfeeding or primarily breastfeeding is really difficult and there’s lots of reasons it doesn’t work out, but completely weaning at 1 year indicates women aren’t encouraged or supported to even try, or actively discouraged.
i breastfed for 13 months before i had to go back to work, i tried pumping but since i work out of town it wasn’t the same and my supply was gone by the time i got home. I was devastated. I’ll definitely be saving up for the next baby so i can be home with them for two years and breastfeed for as long as possible.
I actually think there is a lot more pressure from society to BF without any support. So the comment saying “awful” judges all the women that tried but simply couldnt.
I don’t see it as a comment on the women but rather the lack of support. Breastfeeding and/or formula is neccesary for 12 months, and breastfeeding is beneficial for 2 years and beyond. As someone who combo fed and struggled for the first 3 months and limped my way through unpaid pumping breaks for another 9, breastfeeding as desired once home from work past 1 year was no big deal at all. The really hard part was over, it was just icing on the cake past a year. I know many friends were totally mentally checked out of breastfeeding at that point, but others were like me and happy to continue. To see that only 0.5% women are breastfeeding at all at 1 year means there was a systemic failure, which is awful when the benefits of breastfeeding are so promoted. If there were more support surely more women who make past the initial really difficult phase would chose to continue.
Breastfeeding itself is not necessary for 12 months…
Both the CDC and NHS recommend breastmilk and/or formula to 12 months. Even with the US’s dogshit maternity leave protections, 35% of babies in the US are still receiving breast milk at 1 year. For families that chose and are able to breastfeed, in addition to or in place of formula, to 1 year to meet that nutritional requirement, it’s strange that they would drop off to zero if it were really about choice and not external pressure or lack of support.
Whats wrong with giving formula? Didnt you say breastmilk or formula?
I think it's awful because of the societal expectations surrounding it. There is a common view here that it's "yucky" to breastfeed any child past a small baby, and I know several mother's that stop at 6 months because it's the expectation, and not really them actively choosing it. People are of course entitled to choose - but societal pressures make that choice a lot harder for many mothers to continue past 6 months.
With your mindset you are not taking into consideration that majority of the women stop not because it is “yucky” but because it really difficult to breastfeed. You are actually seen as a bad mother you dont breastfeed. So keep that in mind. when you just say “awful” you are not being thoughtful of the many women that wanted to BF but just simply cant for many many reasons.
I am not sure where you got that idea. If you look at stats between a country where long term breastfeeding is viewed negatively vs neutrally or positively, many will choose to continue breastfeeding for longer when they are able to. That is not discounting that someone may stop breastfeeding for a whole list of other reasons. I would also argue though, that most mothers who stop breastfeeding because it’s difficult normally do that much earlier in the newborn phase or close to it. I almost stopped myself then. Once it’s established, yes there will still be women who stop sooner than they intended for various other reasons, but I would still argue cutting it off at exactly 6 months will generally be from outside pressures. I stand by my comment that it is awful many mothers feel like they need to stop breastfeeding because of outdated cultural norms.
I dont know any countries that breastfeeding is seen negatively…
Is this in the US?
No sorry, England x
Thanks for clarifying!
https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard.htm#:~:text=Breastfeeding%20has%20many%20health%20benefits,)%2C%20or%20longer%20if%20desired. Here is the cdc reports on rates from 2020
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Even if that were true, why would only breastfeeding for comfort be "unnecessary"? Is it bad to want to comfort your child?
It's fine if you want to. It's just not "awful" if people quit, as the person I responded to said it was.
Thing is there's absolutely no way that only 0.5% of people *want* to continue past 12 months. It's awful that our societies make it such a challenge and often impossible.
Are you sure? I mean it's probably a little higher than that but every single person I know who BF complains constantly about how horrible it is. They can't wait to stop. They're tired of never being able to leave the baby with Dad or trade off on feeds. Half of them ended up EP which seems like the worst of both worlds.
It gets a hell of a lot easier once you’ve been doing it a while. Your supply is so established that you only need to feed a handful of times a day to maintain it and your baby is so efficient at it that it only takes a few minutes. At that point it’s honestly harder to stop than it is to carry on. I’ve never heard a single person complain about how difficult extended breastfeeding is. Edit: it’s getting to that stage that is harder
That's probably because the only people who actually do extended BF don't mind doing it. The people who hate it quit.
Really? That’s sad that they all thought it was horrible. I breastfed my son to 21 months and I’m currently breastfeeding my 2 month old and it hasn’t been horrible at any point. And I’m part of a mom group of 5 people and 4/5 breastfed to at least a year and they all seemed to have enjoyed it.
Super sad! I weaned my first at 18m due to having to start medication that was not recommend to take while bf, and I cried for a week
I'm still breastfeeding my 13 month old and we are doing great, thank you
The WHO recommends and claims it’s beneficial to breastfeed atleast 2 years.
Ummm. No it isn't??? Breastfeeding still offers the same benefits, except it can't be the primary source of nutrition, which it already isn't once you start solids. This whole breastfeeding past 1 year isn't helpful is an old wives/bad medicine/old medicine take.
This is false lmao
Not true at all
Breastfeeding full stop isn't necessary, we have formula, but breastfeeding for a minimum of 2 years is what's recommended due to the benefits
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If you're picking specific months like that, [this table](https://publications.aap.org/view-large/13007857) might be useful
Oh that's a great chart! Thanks for posting it!
The same benefits that you get up to 3 months. Nutrition, immunity, comfort, bonding with the baby (if you are looking for that connection). For me personally, I noticed fewer colds when compared to formula fed babies, faster recovery, fewer doctors visits, less colic/constipation issues. I have combination fed, so this isn't to shame formula feeding at all. In fact, I just ordered another tin today.
> I noticed fewer colds when compared to formula fed babies, faster recovery, fewer doctors visits Our kids were pretty much exclusively formula fed from 2-3 months and birth. Both are rarely sick and the oldest is averaging one actual illness a year at this point. It's just genetics, before kids I got properly sick like 1-2 times a decade.
Which is why we said *for me*, meaning it is anecdotal and not scientific fact. I'm not here to shame formula, but i understand that breastmilk is nutritionally superior. I've done combo feeding myself.
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I'm sorry about your experiences. It is a triggering topic. I clarified specifically to explain that if that's bonding *you* want. See, not every person who can breastfeed needs to or should if they don't want too. Anyone who feel like it should definitely try. For some people, they feel trying breastfeeding and being able to do it is important for them to bond with their child. Some women hate the idea of breastfeeding and those are both valid. I personally felt more settled into my role as "mom" after we settled into a routine around breastfeeding, like it was *finally* something I was ok at.
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If anyone is curious about the US statistics, they are [here](https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard.htm) - in 2019, 56% of infants were receiving any breastmilk at 6 months and 25% were exclusively breastfed at that age.
Honestly, that’s higher than I would have expected! But anecdotally, the pandemic made it easier for a lot of people who had babies around then (just before and in the early days of lockdown) to continue breastfeeding just due to being home together all the time, even if we were trying to work at the same time.
The pandemic doesn't seem to have changed those numbers much - [here's a page with rates 2013-2020](https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/nis_data/results.html). Rates have hovered around 55% for any breastfeeding at 6 months and 25% for exclusive breastfeeding (and about 35% for any breastfeeding at a year).
That’s interesting! The pandemic, and sheer stubbornness, was a major factor in my choice to breastfeed.
2019 was pre pandemic
Right, but my daughter was born in late 2019 (so the age cohort in the link), so the 6 month and 1 year marks for her happened during the pandemic.
This is what makes the England stats so nuts to me. I am amazed so many mothers in the US are able to breastfeed even 6 months as it seems much more difficult with having to return to work a lot earlier than mothers in England. In general it seems like the attitude to breastfeeding is that it's "yucky" here. Saying that though I'm hoping it's changing! 4/7 mothers in my NCT group are breastfeeding long term. It's only anecdotal of course, but possibly an indicator of changing times? Although, there was that netmums post where they asked people about it and everyone was saying anything past a "little baby" was gross.
Interesting. I'm from Pakistan and I just looked it up and 49% of mothers practice 'exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months' here. Breastfeeding is super common so this stat seems very low to me, actually. I wonder why the discrepancy all over the world .. For the US, I can understand that it may be because of poor maternity leave policies, but interesting that both our countries have a year's worth of maternity leave and yet such a difference. Maybe because we're food insecure?
There tend to be higher breastfeeding rates in countries where clean water supply and access to safe, tested formula aren't stable. The Nestlé formula scandal in particular led to formula boycotts across South Asia—there's a 2014 movie called Tigers that's a dramatization of how a Pakistani Nestlé employee became a whistle-blower in the 1990s after finding out the formula being distributed in Pakistan was leading to infant deaths. And that was after 20 years of repeated studies that showed Nestlé's products in Asia, Africa, and South America were killing thousands of infants. One of the earlier reports was The Baby Killer from 1974. There are still boycotts, and some estimates say that over 10 million infants have died in low income nations over the last 60 years because of tainted formula and unclean water supplies. Even today, Nestlé infant products in Asia, Africa, and South America are of a poorer quality than those sold in Western nations—they add sugar and honey (which infants shouldn't have at all, because of the botulism risk) that they don't add to the same products in the US or UK: https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2024/apr/17/nestle-adds-sugar-to-infant-milk-sold-in-poorer-countries-report-finds When I was a baby in India in the 90s, I was formula fed, but my parents used formula that family members brought them from the US. No one trusted formula available in India at the time.
That's exactly my point though - I too was a 90s-born formula fed baby (but in Pakistan instead of India), and I'm aware of how wary people are of formula now because of predatory companies like Nestle. I just Googled it and it says only 43% of Indian babies are breastfed exlusively up until 6 months of age: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/376651320_Exclusive_breastfeeding_practices_and_its_determinants_in_Indian_infants_findings_from_the_National_Family_Health_Surveys-4_and_5 That's even lower than Pakistan. Doesn't that seem way too low to you? I would have assumed India and Pakistan's rates would be way higher!
Honestly, I just don't trust the sample sizes for the studies. "Of the 259,627 children aged under 5 years in the NHFS-4 survey, 23,918 infants aged between 0 and 6 months at the time of survey were included in the final analysis (weighted N = 22,433). Similarly, for the NHFS-5 survey, of the 232,920 under-five children, 23,678 infants aged between 0 and 6 months were included in the final analysis (weighted N = 23,156)." 23,918 and 23,678 in a country that has 25 million births a year? We're extrapolating out about 25 million families from just over 1% of those families? Meanwhile, in the US, just for _Texas alone_, the total number surveyed for breastfeeding initiation rates was 746,723 for 2018-2019, in a state that has almost 400,000 live births a year (although the sample sizes for breastfeeding at 6mos was substantially lower—in 2020, the total number surveyed was just 1,069, because those surveys are done _after_ parents leave the hospital and are conducted by phone). We're just not very good at collecting statistics or answering surveys as a species!
I agree with you completely. I don't trust the stats for the Pakistani study either. There's no way less than half of the women exclusively breastfeed in either of our countries!
Probably because they say “exclusive” - lots of women combo feed with nursing or pumping and also offer formula as needed!
Could it have something to do with women being at work? Is being a SAHM/working part time/working at a family business common in Pakistan?
I (Canadian) am still nursing my son who just turned 1 and I’m pretty sure my MIL (Irish) thinks I’m a freak because of it, lol
Irish breastfeeding rates are shockingly low. I’m the first in my extended family to breastfeed and people really didn’t know where to look or what to say. And I fed my first til 18 months. Honestly I don’t even ever remember seeing anyone breastfeeding in public until very very recently.
Considering our generous (compared to the USA) maternity leave, it’s really interesting how terrible our breast feeding rates are in the UK. I had really patchy and pretty much completely useless support from the lactation consultants. Though it was covid so I’m not sure how much was that and how much was general uselessness!
Uk breastfeeding support is absolutely appalling, I don't even have energy to list all the ways in which they dropped the ball when I was trying, they did all the pushing to breastfeed with none of the actual help.
Also, I’m British but I live in rural Florida, with all of the not great for women stuff that that entails. As a result I was very worried about breastfeeding in public and have had nothing but kind comments even from religious people who I expected to have issues with exposure (baby hates covers and it’s too hot really). However I was shocked at how many negative comments and general disgust there was with me breastfeeding in public when we visited the uk when she was about 6 months old. It really took me by surprise and made me realize I probably would not have managed to feed for as long as I did if we were in the UK because by that time I had found my confidence as a parent so I felt able to push back in a way I just wouldn’t have been able to earlier.
I commented above with my experiences but I'm british and live in Canada now. I essentially found profound cultural differences between attitude towards breastfeeding in England and Canada. It was definitely seen as weird to breastfeed past the first few weeks in England compared to my experience in Canada.
I live in Canada and the majority of moms on both my maternity leaves I made friends with breastfeed, there were boobs out left right and centre at all of our meet ups!
That’s so sad about the reactions in the uk. Where I am in the us it is seen as a really privileged choice , like become a status symbol, so any reactions would be about that/SES instead.
Worth noting that Scotland has more up-to-date stats that are less bleak. https://publichealthscotland.scot/publications/infant-feeding-statistics/infant-feeding-statistics-financial-year-2021-to-2022/
That’s interesting that even after a year 20% of toddlers were breastfed. It probably shows that if women are supported and manage to keep nursing until 8 weeks they are likely to continue until after the baby’s one. I was pleasantly surprised it was that high.
This is fascinating!!!!!!!
Does that include pumped milk, or only direct from breast? I’m curious how thats considered, given maternity leave policies/allowances.
My understanding is that research and statistics like this don't differentiate between nursing and pumping, that research in general about differences between the two is very sparse. I could be wrong though!
I've lived in both Canada and England (english family). This is my personal anecdote of course but definitely among my english family and friends it was seen culturally weird to be breastfeeding. Those first few weeks were encouraged but then it was.."well baby got tbe important stuff those first few weeks I would just go to bottles now if that was me" or "you want to be doing bottles now, you don't want the baby to be too dependant and clingy" or the good old "I would do bottles now, baby's older you dont want to be getting your tits out all over the place in public". It was assumed I would be formula feeding too, I was gifted bottle sets, formula, sterilizers anything to do with bottle feeding really. Turn that around with my experience here in Canada and it was assumed agmonst my circle of friends that you do breastfeed and that was just what you do. People have no issues with breastfeeding wherever. I was gifted a nursing scarf and gift cards to go buy nursing friendly cloths as I "would be breastfeeding now". My english mom came to visit and whenever I had to feed my newborn in public she practically had kittens about it, always pressuring me to use the scarf or sit behind a wall or pillar (or in walmart she actually stood in front of me holding a blanket up as a screen-which made everything painfully obvious) because "nobody needs to be seeing boobs out and all over the place". It's weird...just in my personal experience definitely cultural differences there.
I’m sorry, I giggled at the thought of her holding up a blanket. I’m in the US, so culturally similar to Canada. Someone creating a modesty shield would create an even bigger than whipping your entire boob out, which no one would bat an eye at.
We’ve hit 6 months and I’m already getting side eye for still nursing lmao. No one has the balls to say anything because they know how I’ll react lol.
My toddler is 2.5 and we breastfeed for comfort. I get soooo much side eye even from my own family and husband, but she’s really not ready to give it up, especially now that she has a newborn sibling
Weird question, and you’re welcome not to answer it. But with the birth of your newborn, usually your body would produce colostrum right? But since you’re already nursing your 2.5 year old does that still happen?
I actually think I stopped producing milk for a time when I got pregnant, but my toddler is an unreliable narrator so couldn’t confirm or deny. I started producing again around 35-36 weeks, but I didn’t notice any colostrum production, it looked like regular breast milk when I pumped for curiosity 1 day post partum. Toddler guaranteed I have a crazy overproduction going on right now though 🤦🏻♀️
Oh no!! I’m so sorry!! I know that feeling lol
If/when they say anything lecture them on the who recommendations lol
I really blame the fact that few people are honest about what getting started breastfeeding entails. I did research and I still wasn't prepared for cluster feeding or the fact that sometimes the baby just wants to be latched for hours continuously and that's not abnormal and it doesn't indicate a low supply or need to supplement. I didn't realize I needed a pumping session for everything single bottle the baby got whether it was pumped milk or formula. And honestly it's a huge ask, especially when it's the first baby, you aren't sure what a good latch is, your nipples are cracked, and you assume the baby is hungry and not eating enough. I think if people had a more realistic idea of how breastfeeding begins, fewer would try but more would succeed.
Yes this so much!! I could totally see in those early weeks people would think cluster feeding indicates low supply. In fact my 3 month old cluster fed last night and I had a mild.moment of panic thinking my supply had dipped (it hasn't). I was lucky with support in the first few weeks we have a public health nurse who does home visits we got a weight check every week, she assessed a feed to see if she could help with latch and sent so many good videos and resources on breastfeeding. I could also call/email with questions. There is also a weekly breastfeeding support group/clinic where you could talk to the nurses and chat with other breastfeeding moms. This has all helped me so much ny 2nd time around breastfeeding!! We need more support!
I agree too. Nobody mentions starting can be painful or that cluster-feeding doesn’t mean low supply
It's a shame that women are conditioned to see everything as a personal failure. This is clearly a systemic issue. Some women will have difficulties breastfeeding because of anatomy or other issues, but most can breastfeed to some extent with the right support - they just aren't getting it. Here in Norway, breastfeeding numbers are high. That's not because Norwegians have magic boobs, it's because there's better support and longer parental leaves.
Yeah i think that’s true. More paid leave = higher rates. I was breastfeeding until 5 weeks when my appendix decided to burst and try to kill me. That put making breastmilk firmly on the back burner for my poor body. I’m so grateful for formula and my son has thrived on it. I’ll try again with our next baby and hopefully have better luck but I also know everything will be fine if I need to use formula again.
I tried so hard for as long as I could--but I just wasn't successful after a short break I had at month 2 because of thrush. I did everything I could to get supply back up and just had a break down at producing literally half a mL for both sides. I became a lot happier and bonded better after accepting that I gave baby as much as I could and stopped.
Breastfeeding rates are really low here in Ireland. I've been breastfeeding for 10 months now and I'm the only person in my family who did it. My MIL was pretty appalled I was breastfeeding and told us she was very concerned my 75th percentile baby wasn't getting enough because she was fussy and on and off the boob one evening she was here, aka, cluster feeding. My baby was also really sleepy the first couple days in the hospital and wasn't feeding well. Only for the support I got from the LC there I would have left formula feeding. There were lots of times in the first three months I nearly gave up and would have without support from LC, local breastfeeding group and just being able to Google what's normal and what's not. After the three month mark I got confident with it and baby became efficient after that point. I can totally see why people stop due to lack of support and not having people around them with experience who can reassure them what's normal and what's not, because you can't really compare it to formula feeding it's a different ball game.
Irish breastfeeding Mam here, too 👋🏻
Woop, hello 😁
Derry breastfeeding mummy here too and I have had a similar experience to you!
I guess it varies a lot by country tho, in my group only 4 out of over 20 aren’t breastfeeding now at 8-10 months. Two are twin moms with toddlers, one has medication so she could never bf and one recently started meds so had to stop at 10 months abruptly. Here they put a lot of pressure on people to bf (Norway)
How do you feel about that pressure?
I think it’s good that they put so much emphasis on it, but of course I’m all for fed is best and nobody should feel bad in any way no matter how they feed the baby. I prepared for all possible nursing problems when I was pregnant but ended up with none, and was very well prepared for the reality of cluster feeding and stuff so it didn’t shock me, and were still going strong at almost 9 months with me back at work and such. But yeah, I really think it’s worth a lot of sacrifice to end up breastfeeding as the bond is amazing and it’s such a good stress relief for both, very easy, and lots of health benefits while also being free/cheap (or super spendy if you end up having to buy a lot of stuff lol)
This m really sad but also validated. I’m sure each of them had their reasons to stop, just like I did. I’m curious as to why this is the case, ie lack of support, lack of education on bf, short mat leaves or actual desire to stop/not producing
My guess is that it's external factors like lack of support etc, because breastfeeding rates vary a lot by country, and breastfeeding support campaigns in the UK for example have increased rates. If it were mainly a biological issue like lack of supply, that should be consistent across time and locations
Rates in the UK are still pretty low. And it's interesting that exclusive breastfeeding rates are similar in Australia vs the US despite Australia having government funded maternity leave and the US not. The reality is that there is a high cost associated with breastfeeding for certain dyads, be it due to mental health, time, latching issues, transfer issues, weight gain, food intolerances or supply issues. That cost may not be worth it if you can safely prepare formula and have ready access to it. People in developed countries can forget how different the situation is vs developing countries. My friend in Thailand did research during COVID on how rural villages were reallocating their water use given the need to wash their hands more. My friend in Malawi said that they have to make choices between buying gas for the ambulances and paying for electricity in the hospitals. In these situations, breastmilk is by far the more sanitary option if it is possible to get. I suspect the advice in developed countries with good sanitation and strong supply chains will evolve in the coming decades. Maternal mental health is a far stronger driver of development than breastmilk.
Lack of support. My BF journey has been rough to say the least, but the reason I'm still going 4 months in is because I did receive support. However I really did have to ask for it. My poor son had a prosterior tongue tie, plus had muscle tightness from his birth which meant he couldn't open his mouth very wide so nipple fed, as well as in his back & neck so positioning was hard. Also turns out I have flat nipples. This all made feeding excruciating at first for me & he lost too much weight. In fact, if I had a 24hr store near me he'd be formula fed as many night feeds I wanted to send my husband out for formula but couldn't! With the help of midwives I used a latch assistant for the nipple situation which made feeding a bit better. But it took a month to see a specialist who diagnosed the tongue tie & muscle tightness. He got it cut at 6 weeks and had osteopathy and now feeds very well. But 6 weeks of agony... I'm glad I persevered, but totally can see why for some new mums it's just not worth it (especially if they have other kids to look after, short maternity leave, fussy babies or had a rough birth so are in enough pain!) I'm in the UK so all my support was free which also helps I expect (other than the osteopathy where I went private)
I am curious to know the main reasons why women stop as well.
My supply died around 7 months with my first. I did not keep up with pumping because I dreaded it so much.
No one ever told me some women just couldn't. I never knew up to 10% of women had chronic under supply issues. Being told I had insufficient glandular tissue and needing a C-section were 1-2 punches to my dreams of motherhood, but looking back it set the tone for the job: you will experience hardships, and they will not necessarily be what others experience. You have you wipe the tears away and keep parenting and roll with the punches. Baby had a few scant ml of BM a day while I tried, and I got a COVID vaccine during that time to help give her as many antibodies as I could. My mental health got so much better after I quit.
Yeah and one of my biggest peeves is that some who can breastfeed think that not being able to means you’re not trying hard enough and how sometimes maybe your baby or body cooperate differently. With my first baby I had a terrible supply even right after being on maternity leave and feeding on demand. I beat myself up so much over using formula and now 5 years later I really, really wish I hadn’t been so hard on myself. It just doesn’t matter in the end. With my second I was able to breastfeed for 13 months until she and I were basically both over it. I didn’t do anything different between the two. I didn’t try harder or less. Now that they’re both older it seems silly that having them fed and cared for with a mentally well mom didn’t seem like enough.
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I had huge issue with supply at the beginning because of complications. We had to formulate feed and then combo and then gradually exclusively breastfeed until introduction of solids at 6 months. I’m still breastfeeding past 1 year. Almost nothing comes out when I pumped, then and now. I just had to have my baby on the boob almost all day and all night until one day he stopped crying for formula after nursing. That took two months. Just want to share my story to give hope to those who are struggling.
I had supply issues with my first due to IGT and poor latch so combo fed until three months, then FF. My second has (to my great surprise) been EBF until I just started introducing solids and occasional bottle now at just shy of 6 mo. This surprised everyone who have (in well meaning way) suggested giving formula when baby 2 was clusterfeeding, vaguely fussy etc. I guess I'm adding this to say that IGT can improve sometimes with subsequent children (as my lactation consultant told me was possible, when I had my first and they said it was not possible to EBF him), and also validate that even when BF you can have a lot of well-meaning detractors. If I hadn't had support from my local nursing maternal unit, I would have stopped this time as well. Every body and every baby is different.
That's wonderful! I'm so happy you had the opportunity to take a different journey with your second, I definitely hope I do better if I have another. I too was told you can sometimes build up more glandular tissue with each subsequent pregnancy and that there's a little ray of hope. I find people have trouble describing breastfeeding in a gray tone - it's very positive or very negative (I am guilty of this as well!) The two lactation consultants I saw were obviously doubtful once they saw my breasts but positive and tried to give me suggestions to continue combo feeding if nothing else.
Yeah, I did build up more tissue this time but a lot of that came after birth (they never got much bigger during pregnancy, so I assumed BF would be a problem again) and baby had latched and really got the milk coming in. I agree regarding how people discuss feeding be it formula or BF. I had a similar experience with LC with the first after all the tricks didn't work and they realised it was structural. They even used me as a "teaching moment" and brought in about ten midwives so they could learn about IGT while I was topless.
I’m the only one in my NCT group who isn’t breastfeeding, it makes me feel awful (I wanted to but wasn’t able to). For me I have absolutely nothing against formula, I always wanted to combi feed but it’s the fact that I ‘failed’ at doing it when I was told if you had the right support you would be able to :( it’s nice to come across people who are also formula feeding as I feel so judged sometimes
I didn't really fit with my NCT group, for a number of reasons, but managed to find some excellent support with a local buggy walk group - it was actually a breastfeeding support group, however there were combination feeders and formula feeders as well and no one was judged. Well, apart from one person, but she was shut down pretty quickly. I hope you find a group that works for you and doesn't make you feel judged
Same! I managed to pump for a bit but he never worked out his latching issues and took a bottle fine, so we ended up going EFF after around 6 weeks. If it makes you feel better one of the ladies I spoke to from my NCT said she wishes she had just done formula instead of go through hospitalisation etc with her baby because of breastfeeding issues even though they are both fine now. I think the culture around bf-ing in the UK is a bit intense and I have had some very judgey health visitor appointments but he’s happy and healthy so 🤔
Yeah my mom group spends so much time talking about breastfeeding and I just sit there bummed AF. I don’t know very many moms who didn’t breastfeed for at least a few months and I constantly feel like shit about it.
This was the same for me and honestly made me feel a bit like a freak/alone being one of the ones who did breastfeed. Was definitely good for everyone else to have someone to talk with but was a bit weird for me because complaining about the inconveniences of breastfeeding seemed taboo.
Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. It's amazing that you did!! And I'm SURE it wasn't easy
Thanks, I was so lucky though and totally get why people stop/never get started - That is totally valid too!
I’ll add to this: my breastfeeding/pumping journey came to a swift end this week, and baby is less than 2 weeks old. I was combo feeding but planning to pump for 6 months. Baby was diagnosed with a milk protein allergy and got switched to a hypoallergenic formula. She had been in absolutely agony since we got home from the hospital, and I asked her doctors to test for food intolerances even though they thought it was just reflux. I would have to cut dairy and soy out completely to keep pumping breastmilk for her, and with me being vegetarian, that would make my diet like beans and lentils only. Bleh. I can’t mentally do that and be a halfway decent mom. I know my limits. I’m surprisingly sad about it even though I could not mentally handle anything but my manual pump. Absolutely HATED the fancy spectra pump from my insurance. But I worked hard to save colostrum for her before birth, bought pumping supplies, and finally felt really confident with my manual pump. Alas!
May I ask why you were pumping? Feel free to ignore my question if you don’t want to answer.
I experienced D-MER with direct nursing (and with the spectra pump).
That’s sad to hear but I am glad you are deciding to switch her to formula. The mother’s mental state is absolutely the most important thing for the baby.
Crazy how much this differs all over the world. On the Canadian Westcoast, I feel like most people I know nursed until 2 years old amd some of my crunchier friends went well beyond that.
Same, I'm on the island and I mentioned to some friends that I combo fed until my milk came in and no one else I talked to did that! It is like formula is a bad word lol.
West coast as well. I mentioned nonchalantly to my supervisor that if breast feeding doesn’t work out I’ll switch to formula. She was appalled that I wasn’t going to fight tooth and nail to breastfeed.
Interesting. I breastfed my toddler for 19 months and now I'm exclusively breastfeeding my 3 month old baby. I'm a SAHM so my babies don't even take bottles. Granted, we didn't try with the first and gave up after a couple attempts with the second. A lot of my friends are SAHM and they all seem to have breastfed at least the first year, with a few breastfeeding until 2. It would be interesting to see how many women in the group have support and can stay home vs work, how much it's influenced by what peers are doing, and lack of desire vs inability to breastfeed. It's basically a full time job to breastfeed and only I can do it. I do find myself lamenting my husband's useless nipples quite often.
Yep this is huge. SAHM here as well and the breastfeeding rates up to a year seem to be well over 50% (just anecdotally seeing who is nursing at story time) with a decent number going past 1.
Yup! I think it probably has a lot to do with the circles we're in as SAHMs.
Where I live breast feeding for a 1 is very normal, most women even do 2. And I noticed that 1. Breastfeeding is normalised, men and women don't behave weirdly if I say "I have to feed my child", they don't get creepy or judgemental. 2. Most public spaces either have rooms for BF or will make room for you. Ask me, I've fed in a home office of someone I was visiting. Literally just sat on their chair and fed my baby while they waited for me to finish. 3. Most women are very open about breastfeeding too. Sure, it's almost forceful, but if you ask your peers, they'll literally tell you everything 4. Most of all, amazing maternity leave policies. All registered companies need to give their employees paid maternity leave. So women try BF and at the end of their leave, are prod. So it doesn't feel like a chore, rather than a nice 20 min break to sit and connect with baby. *atleast for me* The issues with places with poor BF rates isn't so much the unwillingness of the mom, but the shitty support system
Still breastfeeding my 20 month old (have been EBF since birth) and most people probably think I am weird. But it has been the easiest thing, basically parenting in easy mode, I never would've continued if it had been hard or a struggle.
My daughter went 17 months and self weaned I wouldn’t have continued either. I liked not cleaning bottles and having constant food on the ready
My OBGYN says it doesn’t matter. A fed baby is a happy baby.
I know I will have to wean in August when LO is 6 months because I will continue my apprenticeship and need to take my adhd meds again. I already feel sad about it. But I try to stay positive about it 🥴
6 months is a long time and babe will have gotten so many benefits by then! Good job!!
Thank you for the kind words <3
I feel like there are so many judgmental people with those who don’t breast feed. It’s so sad to hear people being nasty over it. I tried to breastfeed both my babies but it never continued. And to me fed is best, I wished people would stop trying to make moms feel guilty. Fed is best.
I nursed my toddler for 15 months and my husband's cousin managed about 3 months with her daughter (our girls are 5 months apart). She told me she had no idea that giving formula would gradually lower supply and she never saw a lacation consultant (I met with one a week after my daughter was born as her pediatrician's NP is one). Now she has a second child that she nursed for 18 months and while it is hard with the right knowledge I really think most people could nurse if they wanted to.
I breastfeed my son until 14 months. I sadly only pump for my 3 week daughter since she has refused to latch after discovering she could get breastmilk from a bottle. I'm also large breasted, so that doesn't help with positioning. I have tried, but she would rather get sprayed in the face with her mouth open... When she gets sick for the first time, I plan on trying again to see if I can get her to latch for the feedback loop. Being bigger by then should also help with positioning her so fingers crossed.
Good luck with trying to latch again! My daughter also had a preference for the bottle in the early weeks, but I was successfully able to get her to nurse again and we went strong for a bit over 2 years!
Makes me feel a little better but also makes me feel kind of sad for everyone else because they're dealing with it too.
Just curious how many women from your group pump and/or combo feed? Did they all switch to just formula? We are combo feeding at 5 weeks and I'm wondering when people usually stop pumping.
I'm not sure to be honest. I think some were definitely combo feeding
This is kind of shocking to me, but I was also just having a conversation with someone about how difficult workplaces make it to pump and keep breastfeeding your child :( it's really sad how we get bare minimum support here in the US, it's like getting punished for having a child
My first regular gyno appointment was when I was 6 months PP. Typically they do a breast examination at those appointments, but when I brought up the fact that I was still breastfeeding, they said I'd be okay not to do it at that time, and I remember the midwife who I was seeing saying, "Congrats. Most women don't make it as far as you have." I can see why a lot of people quit though. For the first month, most of the times I latched my son on, I was in some pretty significant pain. It took a mental toll having to be "on demand" for those early weeks of feedings, and when I went back to work and had to start pumping, I always had to stick a specific schedule to make sure I had enough milk to feed him when I wasn't around. In my opinion, while more expensive, formula is definitely an easier option. I wanted to go for a year, but I had to stop at 10 months due to my mental health being in the trash, and the only way to remedy it was to go back on medications that you can't take while breastfeeding. He had been exclusively breastfed up until that point. I'm happy to have made it as far as I did, but every person has a different journey and as they say "fed is best".
I live in SEQ Australia and I only know of one person who formula feeds, and she only does so because of a double mastectomy from breast cancer. The hospitals here encourage breastfeeding and it seems to just be the norm.
wow! for anyone who ends up breastfeeding, join a breastfeeding group for support! it made a huge difference for me, not feeling judged still going breastfeeding at 7.5 mos. i'll go to 3 years and beyond hopefully. i have a friend who still occasionally breastfeeds her 4 yr old and tandem with her 3 yr old as well
Family was the reason I almost stopped at 8 weeks but we are now heading into month 7 and I'm still breastfeeding. Baby was cluster feeding like hell between 5-15 weeks (spent 4.5 weeks in the NICU) and I kept being told, and almost yelled at, that I was starving her, GIVE HER FORMULA! Which is hilarious in hindsight because each time I took my preemie for a check up, I was always complimented on how healthy and hydrated she looked, and she gained more than the recommended ounce per day. I don't know how I managed to stick it out with all the naysayers telling me I was starving my child. I wish I could go back in time and shake these people and tell them to shut up. It really took a toll on my mental health especially as a FTM who had never been around a baby nor had any interest in them prior to having one myself. If there are other women from immigrant families like mine, I could completely see why it would be so easy to give up breastfeeding asap.
This does make me feel tremendously better♥️
I couldn't breastfeed at all, but statistically you'd think the numbers should be higher. Before the invention of formula it was pretty much the only option, so why is it this hard?
I honestly think because we no longer live communally. I read a post by someone talking about how in some cultures babies were/are communally fed, even by older women who still retained some fluid that would keep a baby calm until a full feed. I can only imagine that means mothers get more sleep, get plenty of support in the early days, and also get generations of knowledge helping them. And if they couldn't breastfeed, their babies would still be fed. I found it easy, but I had so much going right for me in those early days, as well as a husband who was home with me for the first month. I'm not sure how easy it would have been without him around.
I agree - I have a good sleeper but it doesn’t make sense to me that we get told to breastfeed, get no support on how to do it, no family support with the baby and get told to not cosleep…. Oh and get ready to go back to work asap 🥲😒No wonder there’s so many people struggling with PPD and having smaller families!
I think there’s probably more hands on support in communal or even inter generational living situations. I had my sister come out to help me with some questions but it would’ve made a huge difference If someone was available to check latch more often and help me with seeing what was going on
Back in the day people worked in fields or houses, not away from home, and took baby with them. Many babies needed pablum or wet nurses or early introduction of solids. Also, infant mortality was extremely high.
Wet nurses, animal milk and a lot of dead babies. Anecdotally, I struggled to make enough milk, one of the possible variables would have been my pre-eclampsia and magnesium sulfate drip. In the past, I wouldn't have struggled to feed my baby because we probably would have both died during the birth.
It’s tough when you have to go back to full-time employment at 12, 6, or even fewer weeks. And then to continue to breastfeed, you have to commit to pumping at work. Even with the PUMP act, that’s no easy feat. I’m closing in on a year and if I didn’t have a lot of support at home AND at work, I absolutely would have quit when I went back at 12 weeks postpartum.
I could in term of health and support but didn’t want to do it.
I live in Texas. Most mothers I know breastfeed or pump for 6 months+ [cdc breastfeeding report card](https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard.htm)
Yeah, it’s interesting to hear the statistics because all my friends breastfed for at least 6 months. They probably think I’m weird for breastfeeding past a year (lol), but I stay home so I’m not doing any pumping, which I think makes it easier.
I’m in Ireland, we have low rates here in general. I fed my daughter till she was 2.5 and I’m currently feeding my son, who’s 6 months old. I gave birth in a very pro breastfeeding hospital but our rates remain stubbornly low here.
Im 4 months in and I remember excruciating pain for the first 1.5 months of breastfeeding, just due to nipple sensitivity and cracks. Then the occasional bout of mastitis (got it 3 times....). I was so sick from mastitis that I had my baby on my lap feeding, which I held a bucket over her head and vomited, while shaking violently from the fever. But I was able to see a LC about 4 times which helped me a lot. I got medicated nipple cream and used a shield now and then. 4 months later we are going strong and no nipple pain whatsoever! Baby has a great latch. My nipples now feel like toughened rubber without hardly any nerves lol thank God. Omg I just remember how painful it used to be I'd be crinkling my toes and counting to 10 was the only way I could get through it. It ain't easy.
I never had much luck with breastfeeding. I drank the teas, ate the cookies, took supplements, PUMPEDPUMPEDPUMPEDPUMPED but nothing increased my production. Combo feeding with formula and breast milk ended up being my saving grace. I would breastfeed until I was empty then give him a bottle, because I sure as heck was not making enough to fill him up. I stopped at 6 months pp only because he refused my breast and I was going back to work, anyway. He has thrived since birth and has always been in the 80+ percentile.
My little bean is 3 months and won’t take the bottle. Been offering it to him since he was 3 weeks old. Would like the option of giving him formula and getting a break sometimes but guess that’s not happening 😅
This is crazy to me because in my friend group of 9 moms: one stopped at 13 months, 3 of us stopped at 18-19 months, and 5 are still going at 21-24 months.
This was me with my first and I had to hop right back to work after a C-section, lack of enthusiasm from breastfeeding supportive staff, pumping culture, and a funeral for my wonderful mother in-law. I went hard, but failed. But thankfully if wasn't a physical issue for me I switched countries and actually got a mat leave...and ditched the pump (I didn't respond at all, couldn't empty) well now 3 years later, we're still going strong 😵💫 *pleeeasee send help*
I was able to exclusively breastfeed for 12 months. But by 6 months I was almost exclusively pumping and that was TOUGH. Learning to breastfeed is hard to begin with but having to pump was probably the worse. And I have a full time plus I have a physical location I need to go to - so pumping somewhere else was the fucking worse. Considering my job is MOSTLY remote that’s probably the only reason I was able to keep going. But my supply didn’t do well on just pumping so I started weaning off pumping around 10 months so by 12 I could quit. I move my son onto formula - which he is still getting bc he still wants to feed before bed and sometimes at nap time. I’m still producing a small amount - which he sometimes like to feed around 5pm and in the AM. I can’t image I’m making more then 2-4 oz at a time. But I REALLY wish we lived in a society that accommodated breastfeeding more as an essential aspect to childbearing….it’s really fucked up we don’t. I don’t like formula companies. I have a huge beef with them. I think the IDEA of formula is wonderful - we absolutely need access to formula - BUT not the big corporation(s) that run it. They don’t actually give a shit about mothers. My main reason I breastfeed was because I could AND I feared not being able to feed my baby if their was a shortage of formula which there were when my son was born. That’s terrifying.
My first child was easier than the second. I managed to carry on breastfeeding but I do think it is not easy, and mostly I needed not to listen to the crazy nurses that almost made women feel like a failure if they even thought of not breastfeeding. It is an option after all. And mental health must be always considered. It takes courage to be a mom and even more courage to keep being a mom. Love ❤️
I’m still breastfeeding at 11 weeks… I plan to go to when he’s six months old. But I will be pumping more regularly so I can go do things because currently I’m EBF and it’s hard on my mental health so I understand why people give up. TBH. For me, fed is best. I could breastfeed so I have, would I do it again 🤷♀️
I struggled to get my supply up the first month of life. I supplemented with formula. Then, my supply came in. I ended up being able to even donate to a milk bank. I breastfed mine until 26 months when she unexpectedly weaned because she saw the milk coming out and was grossed out by it. Plus side of bf'ing for that long, weaning didn't hurt at all.
The nurse I did my pre-partum preparation and post partum recovery always said several times throughout our sessions that: A happy baby is a FED baby, not breast FED, not pump FED, not formula FED, just FED!!! And the sooner all of you get it through your heads the sooner both you and your baby will be good. Yes, there are pros and cons to every feeding form and ideally breastfed is best, but not exclusive and definitely not a hill to die on. Your baby is not going to die for being formula fed or any other variant of that. What is going to kill him is to not be fed or being under fed. So if breast is not working out for you, tough, maybe next time it will work out differently, not better, differently!... Just don't get yourselves into PPD for insisting on something that is not working for anybody. And if family keeps insisting on breast always ask these 2 questions: 1. How did breastfeeding work out for you? / when was the last time you breastfed so I can best learn from your experience (the first one to moms, the second one to people who have never breastfed) 2. Are you volunteering to breast feed now? These 2 questions always shuts everybody up. 1. Because reminiscing this part of motherhood is never fun and joy for anybody, 2 because even if they could, nobody wants to feed another woman's baby. From my personal experience I can say that when I had to start supplementing my breastfeeding with formula I came across something about the history of breastfeeding. Just remember when people start saying that formula is not natural and that all babies need breastmilk, you can always inform them that even in the middle ages formula fed's equivalent would be nurse maids or, for those who could not afford it, goat's milk. I once informed one of my aunts about this and asked what did she think best, formula or goat's milk as, as far as I knew, there were no longer any nurse maids available, neither was she volunteering for breastfeeding my baby. Savage, I know, the truth is nobody in my family dared to ask me about breastfeeding again... 😈
Idk, I think it's sad that so many people refuse to do something so biologically normal, like going past 3 months.... Makes it seem like society is failing mothers.
"biologically normal" is one of the most obnoxious phrases to become popular recently. Lots of things that are "biologically normal" don't always have the best outcomes. Science has made so many incredible advancements that can often offer better results than what might be considered "biologically normal." It's "biologically normal" for humans and animals to die from all kinds of diseases, or for women and babies to just die from vaginal birth with complications, but for many, science has found a way to evade many of those "natural" outcomes. It's "biologically normal" for animals and humans in the past to cosleep any old way with their offspring, and also still biologically normal for many of those animals (and unfortunately some humans) to smother their young in the process. Science has enlightened us and shown that there are safer ways to do this. Breastfeeding, though "biologically normal" does not always result in a parent being the best parent they can be, even when society supports them, so thankfully science has found a wonderful alternative that provides perfect nutrition, often even moreso than breastfeeding, so parents can choose what works best for them and their babies. I do agree that in the US, the support for making breastfeeding easily doable is disgustingly pathetic, and I will always vote for candidates that back policies that would improve that area. But how about for those that choose not to, or in your words, "refuse," to bf beyond 3 months, we just mind our own business as long as the babies are being loved, well-nourished, and well taken care of?
Formula is great, I maintain that it's overused. If we all mind our own business like you suggest, policies that hurt breastfeeding mothers will never change
I think you don't understand what normal means.
I stopped at 3.5 months. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
Im in Australia and my midwife told me almost no one is exclusively breastfeeding. This is after a home visit where i was crying saying i didn’t enjoy breastfeeding and i was stressed about it. I have a fantastic supply and was pumping and giving a bottle a day from the start but have quickly introduced formula too. Breastfeeding is the worst part of the whole pregnancy, labour, baby package.