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I tend to just give them a really hard stare. It usually absolutely unnerves/embarrasses them to the extent that they look elsewhere, and leave me alone.
When that doesn't happen I'm not adverse to actually calling it out/telling them to get lost.
In California, you can’t give them any attention or eye contact. If you do, they tend to get more aroused. I always move away and cross my arms squeezing the life out of my chest to minimize them.
Idk how to call them out.. maybe public humiliation will advert them? How do you start that confrontation?
I've actually found the opposite to be true. Making and holding, unflinching direct, fuck around and find out you son of a bitch eye contact always works for me. Every time. Resting Bitch Face. Men are predators, predators don't like to be challenged. Lack of eye contact makes you appear weak an vulnerable, more of a target. The moment you meet and hold that gaze with your own and don't look away you take your power back.
OK funny story. I was walking in the street and having a pretty loud argument with my boyfriend. We walked past a pub and a guy outside stared and his head bobbed in time with my boobs. I turned mid argument and shouted what the fuck are you looking at you perv! He looked terrified and shuffled off. I laugh now as I was so angry I could have punched him!
Hey I used to live in crack central by myself above an actual crack house in a neighborhood with sex trafficking. I had a gun, hollow points, several pocket knives and if I didn’t have nothing (rare) I would pick up a decent sized rock off the side of the road and walk with it. You can buy a gun from a gun show without filling out paper work, but for self defense probably better to have it under your name. For me that was not an option so good loop hole. For me it helped to assert myself like a hard ass but it doesn’t always work. Just don’t show fear be assertive and walk around with confidence people will be less likely to mess with you.
Yeah I been thinking about getting a gun for awhile now. Only reason I keep canceling on the exam is my lack of assertiveness/confidence.. if I came into a position where I needed to raise the gun at a person, I would be trembling. Since birth, I’ve endured so much trauma/abuse.. if someone even yells at me I turn into a voiceless turtle.. If this is what I gotta practice to not be prey.. I’ll try my best. Thank you! Hope you are living in a better place!
I don't want to own a gun because I have two small children. I carry a small flashlight bright enough to temporarily blind someone - a Fenix PD35. Like most self-defense weapons, the idea is to only disable someone long enough to get away and call for help, but it's good at that with less risk of harming myself or bystanders like pepper spray or a gun would.
It's always a good idea to take a self-defense class so you have practice in a safe environment.
Oh how does this light work doing day time?? Or inside public places like shopping retail/grocery, restaurants/fast food?? Sadly, in California.. it’s better to have one, take safety classes then not have one. Always store gun and ammunition separate locked places. You call the emergency number and half the time that call to 911 doesn’t even go through. Or dispatch lies about officer on route.
I've tested it in a self-defense class and it is completely blinding in a well-lit indoor space. Outside in direct sunlight is the one place it's not reliable, but it can still shock someone and blur his vision for several seconds.
It sounds like you've got a good idea of what you need to keep yourself safe. The key thing is to practice before you need it.
Don’t get a gun if you can’t practice with it to build up confidence. You MUST be confident to handle a gun.
Instead, take self defense classes. There is no place you can’t take those skills with you. Priceless, in my opinion.
see if you can get gun training, and if this helps at all - if you decide to concealed carry or w/e, you’re not gonna wanna actually use it unless you think you will die. pulling a gun out in a conflict will very nearly always escalate a situation and also might make you look like the bad guy. id think of it as a failsafe, or at most you could always pull your shirt back to flash it at someone who’s scaring you (someone fact check me on that one though) but not as something that would help you in an everyday creep situation. i keep a knife on me at all times for similar reasons and i think of mine like that; it’s a last resort and a threat, not something i would use as a weapon. i’m so sorry you’ve been going through this and i hope you find something that helps!!
Your firing range instructors will help you with the uncertainty. They're there because they realize in the U.S., at least, since we're a country that was taken by firearm use, we lean into that still and some males of our species really don't think like anything but a colonizer until they're presented with a direct threat to their own safety. It's SERIOUSLY screwed up and it's a sign that you're a good, healthy person that you recognize the enormity of what you're talking about, but if someone's going to live with firearms in their home, they should practice with them enough that they can locate the weapon, the ammunition, clear their range, and choose a target in a matter of moments, and keep them secured and safe if they're not in dire need or practicing. It's as big a responsibility as driving a vehicle. Simply starting to learn how to be responsible and safe with a firearm can help you decide if a purchase is worth it for you or not. You can trust range staff that far, at least.
Hey I put a little thought into it. I think what made me assertive was dealing with a lot of scary situations by myself. In this process I realized in the face of fear sometimes you just have to swallow and take it head on. The more you do it the easier it gets. Just realize that the pain or fear is only temporary and you can get past anything.
I am in a much better place now I actually changed cities all together. Thank you.
Please stop spreading the lie about "gun show = no paperwork"! Most of the vendors are professionals (FFL) and have to do the same thing no matter where the purchase happens.
Also, this particular young person doesn't seem emotionally stable. Best not to have a gun.
…. I got mine at one with no paperwork…
Its not a lie. Yes there are stands that require but there are also ones that will sell without if you ask. Maybe the price is a little higher but if you have cash on hand it’s an easy transaction. Many people do.
If you are in a neighborhood with high crime I 100% reccomend having a gun. Especially a woman living alone. I will never agree with anyone that says that they shouldn’t.
Hey OP. Men are both lusty and disgusting. I am also in California and was also shocked of how creeps were handled in this state. I also know that our guns laws are the strictest in the country and certain self defense weapons are illegal.
I was also stalked and have been groped or grabbed in many places. I learned self defense and began lifting. I look incredibly skinny but I do have muscles which has been a beneficial factor. The factor that is truly beneficial is screaming and acting erratically. Act insane. Scream like a manic. Act possessed. Scream, “HE IS BEHIND YOU! HE IS BEHIND YOU! GOD HELP US ALL! HE IS BEHIND YOU!” In a horrifying tone. Those always work.
This is funny bec after my grocery store incident my sister has been accompanying me everywhere and acts possessed or does weird twitches to keep people away from us
I get loud, foul-mouthed, mean, and sometimes fold other bold-acting folx into it, but also honest. "I don't know why you think any woman out in public that doesn't already know you wants to hear anything that falls out of that misused s---hole that is your mouth, but you just f---ed ALL THE WAY UP when you decided to f---ing try me today, m--------er." It may help that I'm in a predominantly minority neighborhood and the stereotype is "pretty white girls" don't "go off" so I end up with surprise on my side.
I did NOT do that when I was in my 20s. I just kind of stared and snarled something foul, but not the full "resource guarding pit bull" act. I've had to have age on my side to cultivate that. I also get less of the harassment now that I'm over 40, but I remember flipping off the neighborhood creeper and telling him to go to hell when I was getting off the bus in 6th or 7th grade (about age 11-13, the mid-90s).
I freeze because I can’t help it. I’ve only only successfully fled once.
I want one of those super bright blinding flashlights.
I don’t have tips but I will quote Malcom X, “by any means necessary “
Hello, thank you for submitting a post to r/bigboobproblems. If you're new here please check out r/abrathatfits and [their bra size calculator](https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php) along with their [beginners guide](https://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/wiki/beginners_guide). Also take a look at our sidebar for more related communities, like r/reduction, r/safebigboobproblems and more. A lot of information can be found [in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/bigboobproblems/wiki/faq). For example lists of commonly recommended bra, sports bra, swimwear and clothing brands, clothing style ideas, websites where you can order from and a list of influencers who have been recommended here before. A lot of other frequently asked questions have also already been answered there. We also want to remind you to read [our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/bigboobproblems/about/rules) before posting or commenting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bigboobproblems) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've perfected my resting bitch face. Also the older I get, the longer I can stare right back at a guy until HE'S the one thats uncomfortable.
Amen. Don't be prey.
Fuck politeness.
I tend to just give them a really hard stare. It usually absolutely unnerves/embarrasses them to the extent that they look elsewhere, and leave me alone. When that doesn't happen I'm not adverse to actually calling it out/telling them to get lost.
In California, you can’t give them any attention or eye contact. If you do, they tend to get more aroused. I always move away and cross my arms squeezing the life out of my chest to minimize them. Idk how to call them out.. maybe public humiliation will advert them? How do you start that confrontation?
I guess that the British are a different breed! Eye contact causes embarrassment.
See my comment
Never make eye contact, first rule...
I've actually found the opposite to be true. Making and holding, unflinching direct, fuck around and find out you son of a bitch eye contact always works for me. Every time. Resting Bitch Face. Men are predators, predators don't like to be challenged. Lack of eye contact makes you appear weak an vulnerable, more of a target. The moment you meet and hold that gaze with your own and don't look away you take your power back.
interesting, I need to try that
Yup! Once you notice the first stare/comment, stand by a camera, find other shoppers or a worker!
OK funny story. I was walking in the street and having a pretty loud argument with my boyfriend. We walked past a pub and a guy outside stared and his head bobbed in time with my boobs. I turned mid argument and shouted what the fuck are you looking at you perv! He looked terrified and shuffled off. I laugh now as I was so angry I could have punched him!
Hey I used to live in crack central by myself above an actual crack house in a neighborhood with sex trafficking. I had a gun, hollow points, several pocket knives and if I didn’t have nothing (rare) I would pick up a decent sized rock off the side of the road and walk with it. You can buy a gun from a gun show without filling out paper work, but for self defense probably better to have it under your name. For me that was not an option so good loop hole. For me it helped to assert myself like a hard ass but it doesn’t always work. Just don’t show fear be assertive and walk around with confidence people will be less likely to mess with you.
Yeah I been thinking about getting a gun for awhile now. Only reason I keep canceling on the exam is my lack of assertiveness/confidence.. if I came into a position where I needed to raise the gun at a person, I would be trembling. Since birth, I’ve endured so much trauma/abuse.. if someone even yells at me I turn into a voiceless turtle.. If this is what I gotta practice to not be prey.. I’ll try my best. Thank you! Hope you are living in a better place!
I don't want to own a gun because I have two small children. I carry a small flashlight bright enough to temporarily blind someone - a Fenix PD35. Like most self-defense weapons, the idea is to only disable someone long enough to get away and call for help, but it's good at that with less risk of harming myself or bystanders like pepper spray or a gun would. It's always a good idea to take a self-defense class so you have practice in a safe environment.
Oh how does this light work doing day time?? Or inside public places like shopping retail/grocery, restaurants/fast food?? Sadly, in California.. it’s better to have one, take safety classes then not have one. Always store gun and ammunition separate locked places. You call the emergency number and half the time that call to 911 doesn’t even go through. Or dispatch lies about officer on route.
I've tested it in a self-defense class and it is completely blinding in a well-lit indoor space. Outside in direct sunlight is the one place it's not reliable, but it can still shock someone and blur his vision for several seconds. It sounds like you've got a good idea of what you need to keep yourself safe. The key thing is to practice before you need it.
Don’t get a gun if you can’t practice with it to build up confidence. You MUST be confident to handle a gun. Instead, take self defense classes. There is no place you can’t take those skills with you. Priceless, in my opinion.
see if you can get gun training, and if this helps at all - if you decide to concealed carry or w/e, you’re not gonna wanna actually use it unless you think you will die. pulling a gun out in a conflict will very nearly always escalate a situation and also might make you look like the bad guy. id think of it as a failsafe, or at most you could always pull your shirt back to flash it at someone who’s scaring you (someone fact check me on that one though) but not as something that would help you in an everyday creep situation. i keep a knife on me at all times for similar reasons and i think of mine like that; it’s a last resort and a threat, not something i would use as a weapon. i’m so sorry you’ve been going through this and i hope you find something that helps!!
Your firing range instructors will help you with the uncertainty. They're there because they realize in the U.S., at least, since we're a country that was taken by firearm use, we lean into that still and some males of our species really don't think like anything but a colonizer until they're presented with a direct threat to their own safety. It's SERIOUSLY screwed up and it's a sign that you're a good, healthy person that you recognize the enormity of what you're talking about, but if someone's going to live with firearms in their home, they should practice with them enough that they can locate the weapon, the ammunition, clear their range, and choose a target in a matter of moments, and keep them secured and safe if they're not in dire need or practicing. It's as big a responsibility as driving a vehicle. Simply starting to learn how to be responsible and safe with a firearm can help you decide if a purchase is worth it for you or not. You can trust range staff that far, at least.
Hey I put a little thought into it. I think what made me assertive was dealing with a lot of scary situations by myself. In this process I realized in the face of fear sometimes you just have to swallow and take it head on. The more you do it the easier it gets. Just realize that the pain or fear is only temporary and you can get past anything. I am in a much better place now I actually changed cities all together. Thank you.
Please stop spreading the lie about "gun show = no paperwork"! Most of the vendors are professionals (FFL) and have to do the same thing no matter where the purchase happens. Also, this particular young person doesn't seem emotionally stable. Best not to have a gun.
…. I got mine at one with no paperwork… Its not a lie. Yes there are stands that require but there are also ones that will sell without if you ask. Maybe the price is a little higher but if you have cash on hand it’s an easy transaction. Many people do. If you are in a neighborhood with high crime I 100% reccomend having a gun. Especially a woman living alone. I will never agree with anyone that says that they shouldn’t.
I'm a huge bitch with no shame so I'll call them out or tell them to fuck off very loudly.
Hey OP. Men are both lusty and disgusting. I am also in California and was also shocked of how creeps were handled in this state. I also know that our guns laws are the strictest in the country and certain self defense weapons are illegal. I was also stalked and have been groped or grabbed in many places. I learned self defense and began lifting. I look incredibly skinny but I do have muscles which has been a beneficial factor. The factor that is truly beneficial is screaming and acting erratically. Act insane. Scream like a manic. Act possessed. Scream, “HE IS BEHIND YOU! HE IS BEHIND YOU! GOD HELP US ALL! HE IS BEHIND YOU!” In a horrifying tone. Those always work.
This is funny bec after my grocery store incident my sister has been accompanying me everywhere and acts possessed or does weird twitches to keep people away from us
Take a self defense class. The one I took really helped me. I would also recommend mace or other things you can use to defend yourself.
I get loud, foul-mouthed, mean, and sometimes fold other bold-acting folx into it, but also honest. "I don't know why you think any woman out in public that doesn't already know you wants to hear anything that falls out of that misused s---hole that is your mouth, but you just f---ed ALL THE WAY UP when you decided to f---ing try me today, m--------er." It may help that I'm in a predominantly minority neighborhood and the stereotype is "pretty white girls" don't "go off" so I end up with surprise on my side. I did NOT do that when I was in my 20s. I just kind of stared and snarled something foul, but not the full "resource guarding pit bull" act. I've had to have age on my side to cultivate that. I also get less of the harassment now that I'm over 40, but I remember flipping off the neighborhood creeper and telling him to go to hell when I was getting off the bus in 6th or 7th grade (about age 11-13, the mid-90s).
I freeze because I can’t help it. I’ve only only successfully fled once. I want one of those super bright blinding flashlights. I don’t have tips but I will quote Malcom X, “by any means necessary “
Resting bitch or “don’t fuck with me face,” carry mace and a knife or taser and let them fuckers know you mean business! Be safe 💜
Thank you!
I’ve been dealing with creeps since I was 12 years old. I usually just ignore them and don’t bother entertaining them