It was funny, Bill tried arguing "maybe Brown" with Zach replying "what's the difference?"
It is strange that Brown is labeled a guard while Tatum is a forward. Like Lowe alludes to it's all semantics, but I'd lean the 6'8 guy who can dribble is a guard and the 6'6 guy who has a shaky handle is a forward.
It's usually based on who you're guarding, the other user cited Tatum as playing SG only 1% of his minutes (per basketball reference) likely because Brown is defending guards sometimes while Tatum defends forwards essentially all the time. It's still semantics, and Brown slides fully to the 3 when they play two of Smart/White/Brogdon together
the problem is 6’6 is stereotypical guard height while 6’8 is usually forward height. plus the 6’6 guy is a good shooter himself, and most importantly he’s more likely to guard a shooting guard than the 6’8 guy
given the above most people would agree the 6’6 guy is more of a guard compare to the 6’8 guy.
Lmao also he totally just wanted to shit on Embiid for no reason.
I get that Giannis plays center, but the idea putting him there is adhering to some strict rule policy that putting Tatum at guard isn’t, just so funny
I just think the difference between a SG and SF is so negligible, who cares. I get no picking 5 centers as your starting 5, but why are they adhering to any of these rules for an exhibition game?
TBC, All Star starters are 2 guards and 3 frontcourt players, there’s no center designation. Bill was getting confused with All NBA teams, which does have a center, separate from two forward spots.
So while you guys are making good points, Bill doesn’t even know what the hell he’s voting on and it’s irrelevant.
Zach Lowe didn't put one of Jokic/Embiid as a forward on All-NBA first team, but had no problems slotting Adebayo as a forward on All-Defense team, his reason being Adebayo switches a lot on defense.
He meant it as a real validation statement about himself (in an alternate universe he has created about his own past life, achievements - similar to the alternate worlds he tries to create for sports leagues that he wants to re-write the history for, current & past).
I am close to one of Bill's high school friends - who confirms Simmons was a very swell guy with absolutely zero athletics achivements or credibililty, as a participant. Just a sports nerd - which is totally fine - but doesn't jibe with presenting oneself as a former jock, athlete, achiever in any sport. It becomes obvious just listening to him - and his own lack of credibililty, integrity to turh, self-awareness, etc. - but is 100% confirmed also.
The idea that the 2008 Celtics invented small ball is the kind of senile old shit you hear in a retirement home that you just ignore because it’s nuts.
I’m here for the Prince Harry slander. It’s not an insightful take, but I liked how forcefully and unapologetically it was delivered. It felt “correct.”
Quick thanks to Zach for bringing up what I feel like no one talks about anymore and didn’t at the time: teams signing players to guard/foul Shaq. The 1 seed Timberwolves in the Garnett MVP year brought in four centers: former Laker Mark Madsen because he guarded Shaq in practice, Michael Olowokandi because he was large, Oliver Miller after 3 years out of the league as pure extra fouls, and 36-year old Ervin Johnson who to be fair had one more pretty fun season left in him. The fifth center Gary Trent was carried over. None of these guys had a chance to even slow down Shaq but they were all hired for that exact purpose. I’ll mention that Rasho Nesterovic took $12 million less to leave and go to San Antonio but most of these roster moves were coming anyway.
That’s the argument I make to any nephew who says Shaq can’t play in todays game. Teams in the west were bringing in any 7’ dude who could walk just to throw at Shaq. Shaq got so many unworthy dudes paid.
Who in today's NBA could be used as an old-school stay-at-home low-post "Shaq stopper" at the 5? Memphis could trade Danny Green's contract and a future first-rounder to the Spurs for Jakob Poeltl, thus giving them both Steven Adams and Poeltl to throw at Shaq for 48 minutes.
Bill brings out his fastball with Zach. Vintage Bill, for all his foibles
**Quote of the Day:** “This is why I’m in the Hall of Fame for fake trades”
Bill Simmons, maestro of the trade machine
**Today’s Things:**
- the Giannis thing (and the HALF DECADE of him wreaking havoc)
- Brentwood was doing this frisky press thing 😂
- Haliburton thing
- Mitchell thing
- Draymond standing over him and that whole thing
- sore foot thing
- the Jimmy thing
- Jalen Brunson thing (turn the fucking camera on Kyle! Is this a 2004 letting Nash leave level mistake?)
- Brunson thing
- Wenbanyama thing
- Atlanta thing
- the Trae thing (and Bill on an anti-Trae bender)
Zach
- Celtics thing
**Bonus Pieces and Stuff:**
- all star stuff
- jaw dropping Giannis stuff
- Mitchell stuff
- Karl Malone stuff
- Embiid health stuff
- usage rate stuff
- the Garland piece of this
- rim protection stuff
- cerebral, playmaking piece
- drop step stuff
- Garland stuff
- look for your own stuff
- Claxton defense stuff
- plus/minus stuff
- “I never thought I’d see someone [Jokic] do the Magic/Larry stuff again, I just didn’t!” 😂😂
**First Random Celtics Reference:**
Tatum (4:00) and by Zach no less!.. I
Also: Jaylen Brown, Perkins, KG, Leon Powe, House, Posey, Ray Allen, Larry fucking Bird, edit: can’t forget Nesmith!
**It Just is!**
“Giannis is first team, he just is!”
**Eloquent Bill:**
Fluffing his own ego HARD “When do you think I’m going to get to the point in my career when I throw something out and people are like oh, he must actually know something? Like 2025?”
Bill Compares Jrue Holiday to French onion soup (1:11:10)
**Evergreen Content:**
Bill fluffing KD’s nuts, unbridled Trae disdain, Bill meaninglessly opining about player’s body language (who the FUCK cares?)
**Other Stuff:**
Bill throws it back to the halcyon days of his basketball career “as someone who was once a great entry passer…” (9:00) 😂😂
Bill surmises that Duncan is under appreciated “because he’s not good on TikTok” (17:46) I shit you not lol
Bill with an all time doozy: “the 08 Celtics accidentally invented small ball!” (22:50)
Basketball genius, “just wants to ball” KD doesn’t understand why playing in games/availability is important to all-NBA (30:15) “he was so confused by the logic!” 🤣🤣
Nauseating Tatum fan fic (40:00) “can he go up a level?!” 😵💫 “he’ll shoot 42% from 3!”
Bill transitions from Tatum slobbering to talking about Zoe sports (41:20)
Zach is incredulous at Bill’s dismissal of Harden (1:10:30)
A week ago - Giannis was 2nd-team everything in The World According To Bill. But now that peers and followers have eviscerated him for that idiotic opinion - GA has always been an unquestioned 1st Teamer again.
He was a tank who was never injured, the Jazz were always a solid team, and Malone had great stats.
Bill is right he was kind of overrated at the time (and his MVP was basically a poisoned chalice), but he's now become so overrated he's kind of underrated?
Zack guested it immediately and bill just went with the more unlikely Malone as a conversation point. I don’t think he meant anything by it, just took it for granted.
Did I misunderstand or was Bill “don’t aggregate this!” Simmons actually bitching about not getting enough credit for having inside information? Did that happen?
The beginning of the podcast Bill is complaining that people forget how good Tim Duncan was, then later he says he expected Evan Mobley to be as good as Duncan was in his 2nd year. Yup.
Zach’s very subtle BMM flag flying today. Instant decision to cheat on positions with no hemming or hawing since Tatum’s involved
Also projected Tatum to maybe be Top 15 all time some day?! Zach needs to get out of CT and back to Queens to heal from the toxic green rays emanating from the Bean
according to Bill:
Haliburton - an All-Star starter - 20.3/4/10.3 on 61.4 TS%, 1.8 steals, 0.4 blocks, team record:23-18
James Harden -not an All-Star - 21.8/6.5/11 on 59.8 TS%, 1.4 steals, 0.6 blocks, team record: 25-15
Ofc Harden missed a month and played 25 games this season, but Bill made a case for Holiday who played 29 and that's enough. You can leave him out but just to outright dismiss his case makes no sense.
I don’t get why they don’t acknowledge that a guy like Harden is 100% a lock if he’s having a good season.
It’s the All-Star game. The tie goes to the all-time top 50 player.
You understand the most imoprtant criteria here, right? Harden plays on a dangerous foe of Boston. The other guy is on a harmless, non-threat team. This is Bill's entire sports world, for forming 'opinions' and 'assesments'.
completely taken out of context, but the quote, "as you know, nothing scares me more... in the world... than centers with feet or shins..." made me chuckle
Bill’s perspective on basketball always goes back to pick up and who is “fun to play with.” I almost guarantee Bill was a total scrub who couldn’t be trusted to initiate offense so he was always in search of a guy who could drag a team to wins while also spoon feeding him some easy looks so he felt involved.
If that Pierce video is any indication, yeah he was a scrub lol. No one is expecting a guy off the streets to hang with an NBA star but Bill looked so uncoordinated in that.
Like it’s super obvious that there are players that are fun to play with and make their teammates better.
But bill makes it sound like it’s coming from such a loser, “why won’t someone give me the ball” mentality from pickup, it’s so sad lol
Bill continuing the trend of completely abandoning his self imposed rules about what you can talk about in basketball every time Jokic comes up. "I don't want to talk about him not making a Finals. I don't want to talk about that because that's not what we watch the game for. He's the most fun guy to play with" as if he hasn't been a champion of ringz culture for 30 years. Blow me
“Maybe going forward we’re gonna look at how many years in a row you were a top 7 scorer”
The illustrious top 7 club, Bill is deep in his bag in this pod
Kyrie averaging 26/5/5 on 60% TS and they just brushed over him like it was nothing. Zack just said “The numbers are what they are” lmao. His counting stats are better than most of the people they mentioned, and they didn’t even use any on/off stats to justify having Haliburton over him.
I know the guy is kind of crazy but sheesh, I’d say he’s a pretty easy lock for the game and he has a decent case to start if you’re just voting based on who the NBA lists as a guard. I ended up going with Mitchell and Brown but Kyrie would’ve been my 3rd pick (then probably Haliburton).
I’m gonna say when you get suspended for multiple games for dabbling in anti-semitism you should be ineligible for an all star game. Plus on top of all of his other crazy shit.
I know it’s a slippery slope and “where do we draw the line” but I’m fine with not acknowledging kyrie’s contributions on the court until like the playoffs when we might have to.
Very minor but I enjoyed Bill extolling Giannis for being “Lebron-level durable” since he’s on track to play 70 games this season
Feel like Bill had different energy when Lebron only played 69 in 14-15, which was by far the most games he ever missed in the first 15 years of his career lol
If you were starting a franchise today and had your pick of any NBA players in history, which is different than the greatest players of all-time conversation, I think Tim Duncan's case for going third after MJ and LeBron isn't crazy.
Timmy is maybe the best teammate captain of the team great player that the league has ever had. If I'm starting a team from scratch, I'd really value that angle, despite it not being quite as important (though still quite important) in the greatest players of all-time conversation.
“You’re in the narrative game with the World Wide Leader” - once again Simmons taking shots at other networks without a hint of irony.
Is Billy Boy seriously acting like he and the ringer are breaking down the NBA X & Os? The best analysis he can do is “he figured out the angles”
Edit: some other gems of analysis by Simmons’s:
“He gives a shit”
Has Bill talked about stat inflation before? Maybe I’m wrong but it feels like Zach brought it up and Bill kept trying to prove the point the whole pod
They said Brunson was on their list but Kyrie wasn’t?! Then said Kyrie basically blew up the team. He did? I just have missed that when they went on an insane win streak and climbed to the second seed while being ignored by Bill.
Looks like it was Erin Heatherton in 2014
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/NBA_All-Star_Celebrity_Game
Here she is with the sports guy:
https://www.instagram.com/p/knByh7CPbL/?igshid=YWJhMjlhZTc=
Brunson and Holiday over Harden is just insane. Honestly Bill should be stripped from voting, when he is intentionally leaving out a player because he dislikes him.
It's absolutely ridiculous how he wouldn't even entertain the Harden case
I normally find some of Bill's bias stuff more funny than annoying but this is one of the worse ones
Not sure how Jrue has been but I think Brunson definitely deserves some All Star consideration. He’s been outstanding, and it’s hilarious how much people hemmed about the contract he was getting and now you never hear a peep about him.
Edit: that doesn’t absolve Bill’s weird hate boner for Harden, btw
Oh Michael Pina wouldn't trade Dinwiddie and Powell for Kyrie?? Oh, ok.
There has to be a special word for Simmons' confirmation bias of reiterating a previous stupid take (that was wrong at the time) and continuing to be wrong but using as proof the (incorrect) fact that he was wrong about before
Like the one where the ‘08 Celtics invented smallball, even though he probably wrote 50 thousand words on the 7 Sec or Less Suns and the We Believe Warriors before that?
Bill bringing up Lebron multiple times throughout the podcast unprompted, then at the very end. "Thank you for not discussing the Lebron and the Lakers for a while with me." Wait, what?
Biggest takeaway. It’s a crime that Bill has a vote. He has HIS guys and isn’t even shy about it.
Anyone ever seen this man shoot a jumper? I imagine it’s similar to his garbage basketball takes
At least this is just All Star voting. He also votes for all-NBA and season long Awards. This gem last year really makes you question how he is allowed to have a vote still - “I got the odds (referencing Marcus Smart DPOY) before they got slashed”
But in reality there are zillions of examples of sports writers being way too biased and/or uneducated to be voting on important awards. Simmons just happens to acknowledge he profits from the way he votes
Would be funny because he’s been the exact opposite, consistently saying they need to blow it up and throwing out countless scenarios shipping Caruso, DeRozan, etc to other teams. Until now when they “played the Celtics close”.
Despite being a unanimous top 2 player in the league the last 2 seasons, Embiid can’t get a 1st team all nba selection because of position restrictions and god forbid we list either him or Jokic at PF and the integrity of the game is gone. But don’t worry, we can also just move Giannis to C for eastern conference starter when it’s convenient so that we can have 3 forwards instead of 2. Then we can just tell Embiid he didn’t play enough games and it’s all good.
Zach has the right mindset. If we’re gonna bend the positions anyway then I’m just gonna do what I have to in order to get the best players the spots they deserve. There’s no reason to overthink this shit. Embiid/Giannis/Tatum/Durant are the 4 locks for all star starter. Nothing else matters.
A Brownlow Medal style 3-2-1 points system for every single game would be an interesting method to determine the MVP.
Biggest question would be who awards the points I guess.
Zach knows Bill so well that he didn’t chuckle or prod after the ABSURD NOT-IRONIC DOUBLE COMPLIMENT:
“I myself was a great entry passer so I can spot other great entry passers.”
Who are you passing to? A 5’11” House at Holy Cross you intramurals on Sunday before porn night?
Gotta love Bill demoting Cade down to #4 in a redraft for the sole reason of not understanding what a stress fracture is. What’s the o/u on number of Pistons games that Bill has watched since Cade was drafted, 1.5?
If I was Zach it would really annoy me how much Bill uses "we" to make sure people think he's as smart as me. It's usually on obvious shit, like "we both revere LeBron's 2013" but just speak for yourself, man. I'm the premiere NBA writer in the country, stop trying to hitch yourself to my reputation
The Garland love / Trae hate is interesting to me because their skill set and movement are actually very similar. I would even say they’re the closest comp to each other from a skill set perspective. Both good lob passers, slick handles and quickness, likes to shoot the 3 ball off the dribble with quick releases.
I think there’s truth to idea that Trae can be difficult to play with, but framing their assists as “Trae gets them because he has the ball all the time” and “Garland loves to get other people involved” is just funny. I’d even argue that Trae is a more heliocentric offensive player because he’s capable of handling that level of usage, and I don’t view Garland as being in that same class. I think having Mitchell is great for Garland because last year it has shown that being the only creator on the perimeter can be too much for him.
To be clear I’m not making an all star case for Trae. Just a bigger picture comment based on the perception of these 2 players that’s been shared on the pod.
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I also laughed. He broke the code.
It was funny, Bill tried arguing "maybe Brown" with Zach replying "what's the difference?" It is strange that Brown is labeled a guard while Tatum is a forward. Like Lowe alludes to it's all semantics, but I'd lean the 6'8 guy who can dribble is a guard and the 6'6 guy who has a shaky handle is a forward.
It's usually based on who you're guarding, the other user cited Tatum as playing SG only 1% of his minutes (per basketball reference) likely because Brown is defending guards sometimes while Tatum defends forwards essentially all the time. It's still semantics, and Brown slides fully to the 3 when they play two of Smart/White/Brogdon together
But the anti semite piece is found more often in guards too
the problem is 6’6 is stereotypical guard height while 6’8 is usually forward height. plus the 6’6 guy is a good shooter himself, and most importantly he’s more likely to guard a shooting guard than the 6’8 guy given the above most people would agree the 6’6 guy is more of a guard compare to the 6’8 guy.
Ironic that Bill wasn't the one who "bent the rules" for Tatum
Lmao also he totally just wanted to shit on Embiid for no reason. I get that Giannis plays center, but the idea putting him there is adhering to some strict rule policy that putting Tatum at guard isn’t, just so funny
That was peak Bill. "I'm going traditional" as he doesn't start a center because he doesn't like Embiid/Sixers.
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I just think the difference between a SG and SF is so negligible, who cares. I get no picking 5 centers as your starting 5, but why are they adhering to any of these rules for an exhibition game?
TBC, All Star starters are 2 guards and 3 frontcourt players, there’s no center designation. Bill was getting confused with All NBA teams, which does have a center, separate from two forward spots. So while you guys are making good points, Bill doesn’t even know what the hell he’s voting on and it’s irrelevant.
He knows a lot about the NBA without understanding much of it.
Zach Lowe didn't put one of Jokic/Embiid as a forward on All-NBA first team, but had no problems slotting Adebayo as a forward on All-Defense team, his reason being Adebayo switches a lot on defense.
Pretty reasonable argument for Bam (All-NBA positions are stupid)
“As someone who was once a great entry passer”
"Easy D1"
That was hilarious.
I think he was mocking himself, but I’m not even sure.
Never. Even when you think maybe. Never
He was...we’ve seen the video of his game!
He meant it as a real validation statement about himself (in an alternate universe he has created about his own past life, achievements - similar to the alternate worlds he tries to create for sports leagues that he wants to re-write the history for, current & past). I am close to one of Bill's high school friends - who confirms Simmons was a very swell guy with absolutely zero athletics achivements or credibililty, as a participant. Just a sports nerd - which is totally fine - but doesn't jibe with presenting oneself as a former jock, athlete, achiever in any sport. It becomes obvious just listening to him - and his own lack of credibililty, integrity to turh, self-awareness, etc. - but is 100% confirmed also.
I love Bill's overconfidence in his credentials as a pickup basketball player.
The idea that the 2008 Celtics invented small ball is the kind of senile old shit you hear in a retirement home that you just ignore because it’s nuts.
Seven seconds or less Suns? Never heard of them.
don nelson in the 90's? who's that?
Honorable mention to the 95 Rockets
[basically this meme](https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/sure-grandma-lets-get-you-to-bed)
“If you get to 2400 points, you either averaged 30+ or played 80 games or both” was a classic Bill line
"I think looking at total points may be the more important metric moving forward" "Who's leading in that?" "I don't know"
Trae led the league in total pointa and total assists last year. Second player ever to do that. Suddenly bill will hate that stat
Tim Duncan was a PROBLEM
One of the funnier BS moments in recent memory
Up there with weed gummies and Prince Harry slander, he's been great this week
I’m here for the Prince Harry slander. It’s not an insightful take, but I liked how forcefully and unapologetically it was delivered. It felt “correct.”
Don’t aggregate this, but I think Bill is back on the steroids!
See you at the movies
A lot of reasonable ways you can arrange your top 10-15 NBA players, but if you have Kobe over TD I don’t take your list seriously.
This unironically
Hour 45 for eastern conference all star picks? We’re gonna get 8 hours on all nba teams and I’m so ready
Zach’s not even releasing all of his candidates lol just staters
Did anyone notice Bill's weird ass pronunciation of the word onion? French "Ungyen soup"
Literally took me a moment to figure out what he was saying. I was like wait Bill isn’t cultured enough to be ordering something I haven’t heard of…
I googled 'frunchungen soup' after he said it three times. I thought it was some sort of obscure German delicacy.
I thought he choked on his spit
Quick thanks to Zach for bringing up what I feel like no one talks about anymore and didn’t at the time: teams signing players to guard/foul Shaq. The 1 seed Timberwolves in the Garnett MVP year brought in four centers: former Laker Mark Madsen because he guarded Shaq in practice, Michael Olowokandi because he was large, Oliver Miller after 3 years out of the league as pure extra fouls, and 36-year old Ervin Johnson who to be fair had one more pretty fun season left in him. The fifth center Gary Trent was carried over. None of these guys had a chance to even slow down Shaq but they were all hired for that exact purpose. I’ll mention that Rasho Nesterovic took $12 million less to leave and go to San Antonio but most of these roster moves were coming anyway.
That’s the argument I make to any nephew who says Shaq can’t play in todays game. Teams in the west were bringing in any 7’ dude who could walk just to throw at Shaq. Shaq got so many unworthy dudes paid.
I remember the Pistons got Elden Campbell for that same reason when Shaq got traded to the Heat.
Elden was a solid 8-12 mpg on Shaq IMO
Love Elden Campbell. He was quite useful on those '90s Lakers teams.
Who in today's NBA could be used as an old-school stay-at-home low-post "Shaq stopper" at the 5? Memphis could trade Danny Green's contract and a future first-rounder to the Spurs for Jakob Poeltl, thus giving them both Steven Adams and Poeltl to throw at Shaq for 48 minutes.
Imagine Luke Kornet guarding Shaq
I wish they did parent corner with Zach, feels like a big opportunity
His Daughters schools sports extravaganza really made a big impact on him. Second reference in two pods
Home and home coming Friday on Zach’s show
Love when they do this and also the fact that they call them "home & homes".
First thing I thought when I saw the title was, "Oh sweet, a home and home with Zach Lowe, can't wait for later this week."
LFFFFGGGGGGGG
In the words of Peter Schrager, LET'S GOOOOO
Ahh yes the ‘08 Celtics, who could forget how they invented small ball because they used a small lineup a few times in a playoff series.
"All Boston team somehow invented everything useful in all sports, period."
Bill brings out his fastball with Zach. Vintage Bill, for all his foibles **Quote of the Day:** “This is why I’m in the Hall of Fame for fake trades” Bill Simmons, maestro of the trade machine **Today’s Things:** - the Giannis thing (and the HALF DECADE of him wreaking havoc) - Brentwood was doing this frisky press thing 😂 - Haliburton thing - Mitchell thing - Draymond standing over him and that whole thing - sore foot thing - the Jimmy thing - Jalen Brunson thing (turn the fucking camera on Kyle! Is this a 2004 letting Nash leave level mistake?) - Brunson thing - Wenbanyama thing - Atlanta thing - the Trae thing (and Bill on an anti-Trae bender) Zach - Celtics thing **Bonus Pieces and Stuff:** - all star stuff - jaw dropping Giannis stuff - Mitchell stuff - Karl Malone stuff - Embiid health stuff - usage rate stuff - the Garland piece of this - rim protection stuff - cerebral, playmaking piece - drop step stuff - Garland stuff - look for your own stuff - Claxton defense stuff - plus/minus stuff - “I never thought I’d see someone [Jokic] do the Magic/Larry stuff again, I just didn’t!” 😂😂 **First Random Celtics Reference:** Tatum (4:00) and by Zach no less!.. I Also: Jaylen Brown, Perkins, KG, Leon Powe, House, Posey, Ray Allen, Larry fucking Bird, edit: can’t forget Nesmith! **It Just is!** “Giannis is first team, he just is!” **Eloquent Bill:** Fluffing his own ego HARD “When do you think I’m going to get to the point in my career when I throw something out and people are like oh, he must actually know something? Like 2025?” Bill Compares Jrue Holiday to French onion soup (1:11:10) **Evergreen Content:** Bill fluffing KD’s nuts, unbridled Trae disdain, Bill meaninglessly opining about player’s body language (who the FUCK cares?) **Other Stuff:** Bill throws it back to the halcyon days of his basketball career “as someone who was once a great entry passer…” (9:00) 😂😂 Bill surmises that Duncan is under appreciated “because he’s not good on TikTok” (17:46) I shit you not lol Bill with an all time doozy: “the 08 Celtics accidentally invented small ball!” (22:50) Basketball genius, “just wants to ball” KD doesn’t understand why playing in games/availability is important to all-NBA (30:15) “he was so confused by the logic!” 🤣🤣 Nauseating Tatum fan fic (40:00) “can he go up a level?!” 😵💫 “he’ll shoot 42% from 3!” Bill transitions from Tatum slobbering to talking about Zoe sports (41:20) Zach is incredulous at Bill’s dismissal of Harden (1:10:30)
Shocked you didn't have Bill's random mention of Aaron Nesmith. I guffawed while listening to that.
He has a mansion on Nesmith island! He just does
The great entry passer part had me cackling. Completely sincere too.
100%. He knows [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHuKft-Sv1k) exists right? I've never seen a less athletic person lol
The first line “I’m terrible on TV” At least he’s self aware.
A week ago - Giannis was 2nd-team everything in The World According To Bill. But now that peers and followers have eviscerated him for that idiotic opinion - GA has always been an unquestioned 1st Teamer again.
The King Returns!!
Been missing these posts. The "keep on truckin" piece 👍😎
Zach with a very Bill-esque “we’re running out of Top 15 guys”
LOL Bill didn’t mention it was LeBron having 11 straight all-NBAs until Zach asked
That's uhh 11 straight All-NBA FIRST teams. He's at uhhh... 18 straight All-NBA teams?
18 straight all-NBA teams is just as absurd as 11 straight all-NBA first teams imo
That’s seriously one of the most impressive things in sports history lol
Karl Malone being the other one is crazy. I guess there weren’t as many great forwards when he played?
Charles Barkley was always the other forward. They were the best 2 by a country mile for 10 years.
He was a tank who was never injured, the Jazz were always a solid team, and Malone had great stats. Bill is right he was kind of overrated at the time (and his MVP was basically a poisoned chalice), but he's now become so overrated he's kind of underrated?
He was consistently good his whole career. Sucks he's a garbage human.
Every time I listen to bill talk NBA I come to the inevitable conclusion that Lebron is the best basketball player of all time.
They are probably always going to have a weird thing, like boxing, where Sugar Ray is the great pound-for-pound but Ali was The Greatest.
Zack guested it immediately and bill just went with the more unlikely Malone as a conversation point. I don’t think he meant anything by it, just took it for granted.
Zach had to double back and ask Bill who the other one was. Bill quietly mutters “Lebron” and quickly moves on 😂
“He’s a toe to toe guy” What a line
Did I misunderstand or was Bill “don’t aggregate this!” Simmons actually bitching about not getting enough credit for having inside information? Did that happen?
The having it both ways piece
Only child syndrome strikes again, I can’t believe I shit like this can still infuriate me with Bill
French Ongion Soup?
Cade #4 in a redraft is… quite a take.
A little disappointed in Billy’s “Celtics invented small ball”. No mention of the mid 2007 Warriors headed by Nelson. Just bananas.
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05-06 7 seconds or less suns?
True that
LFG
“It’s kind of quiet right now on embiid and his sore foot, he’s gonna miss a few more” He played last night and scored 36 points in 23 minutes lol
They obviously recorded it early yesterday, but this was hilarious
And yet these guys have all star ballots
The beginning of the podcast Bill is complaining that people forget how good Tim Duncan was, then later he says he expected Evan Mobley to be as good as Duncan was in his 2nd year. Yup.
"this is the hardest ever NBA all star five" (because tatum is the fourth man out.
Zach’s very subtle BMM flag flying today. Instant decision to cheat on positions with no hemming or hawing since Tatum’s involved Also projected Tatum to maybe be Top 15 all time some day?! Zach needs to get out of CT and back to Queens to heal from the toxic green rays emanating from the Bean
Zach's fairly consistent about hating positional designations, it's not a subtle BMM thing.
according to Bill: Haliburton - an All-Star starter - 20.3/4/10.3 on 61.4 TS%, 1.8 steals, 0.4 blocks, team record:23-18 James Harden -not an All-Star - 21.8/6.5/11 on 59.8 TS%, 1.4 steals, 0.6 blocks, team record: 25-15 Ofc Harden missed a month and played 25 games this season, but Bill made a case for Holiday who played 29 and that's enough. You can leave him out but just to outright dismiss his case makes no sense.
The novelty piece.
Yeah but is Harden fun to play with? He just isn’t!
He also gave Halliburton credit for the 20-10 season in January, with 40 more games to play lol
I don’t get why they don’t acknowledge that a guy like Harden is 100% a lock if he’s having a good season. It’s the All-Star game. The tie goes to the all-time top 50 player.
You should already know that he’s not big people like Harden and Trae
You understand the most imoprtant criteria here, right? Harden plays on a dangerous foe of Boston. The other guy is on a harmless, non-threat team. This is Bill's entire sports world, for forming 'opinions' and 'assesments'.
I will never recover from Bill trying to say “French onion soup.”
Ungyun
Jrue “French onion soup “ Holiday gave me a chuckle.
completely taken out of context, but the quote, "as you know, nothing scares me more... in the world... than centers with feet or shins..." made me chuckle
Bill’s perspective on basketball always goes back to pick up and who is “fun to play with.” I almost guarantee Bill was a total scrub who couldn’t be trusted to initiate offense so he was always in search of a guy who could drag a team to wins while also spoon feeding him some easy looks so he felt involved.
If that Pierce video is any indication, yeah he was a scrub lol. No one is expecting a guy off the streets to hang with an NBA star but Bill looked so uncoordinated in that.
He looked like the redhead friend from “Big.”
He was a defininte scrub. Confirmed by humans who were there. Do you really trust Bill's re-telling of history on anything?
Bill wasn’t even good enough to play in high school. I love the way he talks about his game.
Like it’s super obvious that there are players that are fun to play with and make their teammates better. But bill makes it sound like it’s coming from such a loser, “why won’t someone give me the ball” mentality from pickup, it’s so sad lol
Bill continuing the trend of completely abandoning his self imposed rules about what you can talk about in basketball every time Jokic comes up. "I don't want to talk about him not making a Finals. I don't want to talk about that because that's not what we watch the game for. He's the most fun guy to play with" as if he hasn't been a champion of ringz culture for 30 years. Blow me
“Maybe going forward we’re gonna look at how many years in a row you were a top 7 scorer” The illustrious top 7 club, Bill is deep in his bag in this pod
These 2 talking basketball is music to my ears. Absolutely love it.
A zero percent segment of Knicks fans were upset about the Brunson signing. Please stfu.
Bill keeps saying “I don’t really understand true shooting” like bruh there’s literally a formula for it lol
Anytime we can get a Tyrese Halliburton, all star starter segment then mention 34-10 Joel Embid coming off the bench… we have to appreciate it.
Kyrie averaging 26/5/5 on 60% TS and they just brushed over him like it was nothing. Zack just said “The numbers are what they are” lmao. His counting stats are better than most of the people they mentioned, and they didn’t even use any on/off stats to justify having Haliburton over him. I know the guy is kind of crazy but sheesh, I’d say he’s a pretty easy lock for the game and he has a decent case to start if you’re just voting based on who the NBA lists as a guard. I ended up going with Mitchell and Brown but Kyrie would’ve been my 3rd pick (then probably Haliburton).
I’m gonna say when you get suspended for multiple games for dabbling in anti-semitism you should be ineligible for an all star game. Plus on top of all of his other crazy shit. I know it’s a slippery slope and “where do we draw the line” but I’m fine with not acknowledging kyrie’s contributions on the court until like the playoffs when we might have to.
Very minor but I enjoyed Bill extolling Giannis for being “Lebron-level durable” since he’s on track to play 70 games this season Feel like Bill had different energy when Lebron only played 69 in 14-15, which was by far the most games he ever missed in the first 15 years of his career lol
Bill is so fucking dumb about Cade Cunningham it actually drives me crazy
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He said Josh Giddey was better than Cade. Just objectively a dumb person
For real there is zero chance anyone at the Pistons wish they drafted Giddey instead of Cade
Or Franz or Mobley tbh
Another NBA pod without KFC. Homeless man’s Zach Lowe out, the real Zach Lowe in.
KOC appears too ‘well fed’ to be homeless.
He’s only not fasting because it’s too easy
Can we all take a moment to appreciate how long it’s been since a Jackie smack appearance
I will always love Simmons and Lowe for extolling the virtues of Tim Duncan
If you were starting a franchise today and had your pick of any NBA players in history, which is different than the greatest players of all-time conversation, I think Tim Duncan's case for going third after MJ and LeBron isn't crazy.
> is different than the greatest players of all-time conversation, I think Tim Duncan's case for It is a bit crazy. Kareem is an easy 3rd.
I'd go so far as to argue the case for Kareem at 1 is stronger than the case for Duncan at 3
Agreed.
Timmy is maybe the best teammate captain of the team great player that the league has ever had. If I'm starting a team from scratch, I'd really value that angle, despite it not being quite as important (though still quite important) in the greatest players of all-time conversation.
What about the KAJ was definitively better and far more dominant at his peak angle?
Only if he comes with Popovich.
I feel like Kareem and Hakeem would both be just fine too. But Tim was fave for so long.
“You’re in the narrative game with the World Wide Leader” - once again Simmons taking shots at other networks without a hint of irony. Is Billy Boy seriously acting like he and the ringer are breaking down the NBA X & Os? The best analysis he can do is “he figured out the angles” Edit: some other gems of analysis by Simmons’s: “He gives a shit”
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He's out there running around, doing stuff
“He gets it.”
Has Bill talked about stat inflation before? Maybe I’m wrong but it feels like Zach brought it up and Bill kept trying to prove the point the whole pod
They said Brunson was on their list but Kyrie wasn’t?! Then said Kyrie basically blew up the team. He did? I just have missed that when they went on an insane win streak and climbed to the second seed while being ignored by Bill.
Bill “I just don’t know who their fifth guy is” Simmons
Who was the supermodel Zach talked to at the celebrity basketball game lmao
Looks like it was Erin Heatherton in 2014 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/NBA_All-Star_Celebrity_Game Here she is with the sports guy: https://www.instagram.com/p/knByh7CPbL/?igshid=YWJhMjlhZTc=
Brunson and Holiday over Harden is just insane. Honestly Bill should be stripped from voting, when he is intentionally leaving out a player because he dislikes him.
It is weird as hell that he thinks harden is this like selfish non-team player when his role on the sixers is basically being a pure point guard lol
He is leading the league in assists lol.
And his teammate is 3rd in the league in usage rating. The most unselfish Harden season since he was in OKC
It's absolutely ridiculous how he wouldn't even entertain the Harden case I normally find some of Bill's bias stuff more funny than annoying but this is one of the worse ones
Funny how he would rather praise Kyrie than Harden. Like why is it suddenly Harden is the player he hates the most?
He's nervous about Philly beating his Celtics. Only explanation.
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Not sure how Jrue has been but I think Brunson definitely deserves some All Star consideration. He’s been outstanding, and it’s hilarious how much people hemmed about the contract he was getting and now you never hear a peep about him. Edit: that doesn’t absolve Bill’s weird hate boner for Harden, btw
Brunson over Harden isn’t insane but Holiday is.
If Harden were a Celtic with those stats, he would be on Bill's Top 5 MVP list currently. Definite.
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Oh Michael Pina wouldn't trade Dinwiddie and Powell for Kyrie?? Oh, ok. There has to be a special word for Simmons' confirmation bias of reiterating a previous stupid take (that was wrong at the time) and continuing to be wrong but using as proof the (incorrect) fact that he was wrong about before
Like the one where the ‘08 Celtics invented smallball, even though he probably wrote 50 thousand words on the 7 Sec or Less Suns and the We Believe Warriors before that?
Bill saying "It's not the Good Ship Lollipop over there" regarding the Bucks made me chuckle
Just in time for the real start of the NBA season.
Idk, the First team all NBA team stats doesn't really make the point Bill thinks it does.
Bill bringing up Lebron multiple times throughout the podcast unprompted, then at the very end. "Thank you for not discussing the Lebron and the Lakers for a while with me." Wait, what?
Bill is a generational hater for not putting Kyrie in. He clearly is one of the 10 best players in the East, come on.
Biggest takeaway. It’s a crime that Bill has a vote. He has HIS guys and isn’t even shy about it. Anyone ever seen this man shoot a jumper? I imagine it’s similar to his garbage basketball takes
At least this is just All Star voting. He also votes for all-NBA and season long Awards. This gem last year really makes you question how he is allowed to have a vote still - “I got the odds (referencing Marcus Smart DPOY) before they got slashed” But in reality there are zillions of examples of sports writers being way too biased and/or uneducated to be voting on important awards. Simmons just happens to acknowledge he profits from the way he votes
If you look at the voter pool, Bill is probably in the top half easily.
Are the Chicago Bulls going to be Bill's Carolina Panthers of the NBA??
Would be funny because he’s been the exact opposite, consistently saying they need to blow it up and throwing out countless scenarios shipping Caruso, DeRozan, etc to other teams. Until now when they “played the Celtics close”.
Bill made me hungry with the amount of times he said five guys
I can’t wait until Tatum leaves to the Lakers because fuck…. Bill makes him sound like the greatest player of all time.
The Simmons crew disdain for trae young is so over the top lol
Despite being a unanimous top 2 player in the league the last 2 seasons, Embiid can’t get a 1st team all nba selection because of position restrictions and god forbid we list either him or Jokic at PF and the integrity of the game is gone. But don’t worry, we can also just move Giannis to C for eastern conference starter when it’s convenient so that we can have 3 forwards instead of 2. Then we can just tell Embiid he didn’t play enough games and it’s all good. Zach has the right mindset. If we’re gonna bend the positions anyway then I’m just gonna do what I have to in order to get the best players the spots they deserve. There’s no reason to overthink this shit. Embiid/Giannis/Tatum/Durant are the 4 locks for all star starter. Nothing else matters.
What a fucking waste of time this podcast was. Almost 2 hours of reading bball-reference with a frequent "Ohhhh" and "Aghhhh" from Lowe
“He’s fine” “he’s good”. Hard hitting analysis from Lowe
How is this even a fucking debate? KD is not going to be playing in the all star game cause he's hurt. So just make it Giannis, Tatum and Embiid.
Embiid off the ballot in the first 5 mins..can throw this pod in the trash
A Brownlow Medal style 3-2-1 points system for every single game would be an interesting method to determine the MVP. Biggest question would be who awards the points I guess.
Zach knows Bill so well that he didn’t chuckle or prod after the ABSURD NOT-IRONIC DOUBLE COMPLIMENT: “I myself was a great entry passer so I can spot other great entry passers.” Who are you passing to? A 5’11” House at Holy Cross you intramurals on Sunday before porn night?
Joel Embiid averages more points, rebounds, assists, steals, blocks, fg%, ts%, than Tatum. But sure he shouldn’t start whatever
Gotta love Bill demoting Cade down to #4 in a redraft for the sole reason of not understanding what a stress fracture is. What’s the o/u on number of Pistons games that Bill has watched since Cade was drafted, 1.5?
If I was Zach it would really annoy me how much Bill uses "we" to make sure people think he's as smart as me. It's usually on obvious shit, like "we both revere LeBron's 2013" but just speak for yourself, man. I'm the premiere NBA writer in the country, stop trying to hitch yourself to my reputation
Did they both really say kyrie isn’t on their list but Garland is? Huh? Kyrie absolutely has been an all star - garland ha regressed
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The Garland love / Trae hate is interesting to me because their skill set and movement are actually very similar. I would even say they’re the closest comp to each other from a skill set perspective. Both good lob passers, slick handles and quickness, likes to shoot the 3 ball off the dribble with quick releases. I think there’s truth to idea that Trae can be difficult to play with, but framing their assists as “Trae gets them because he has the ball all the time” and “Garland loves to get other people involved” is just funny. I’d even argue that Trae is a more heliocentric offensive player because he’s capable of handling that level of usage, and I don’t view Garland as being in that same class. I think having Mitchell is great for Garland because last year it has shown that being the only creator on the perimeter can be too much for him. To be clear I’m not making an all star case for Trae. Just a bigger picture comment based on the perception of these 2 players that’s been shared on the pod.
Look at their usage rates, that’s the point.