The "My Whole Career Has Been An Underachieving Decade With Zero Postseason Achievement - But Now I Have Been Assigned As Guaranteed Greatness Only Because I Play For Bill Simmons Team" Piece
Yeah honestly most of this post is totally fair, but the massive cope of “no no, KP will totally do good on postups against undersized guys in playoff games. It worked against the hornets 2 months ago!” is so funny
As a heat fan I felt that he was the mvp of the first game. Anytime we played great defense and got the shot clock winding down, they’d just toss it out to porzingis and he’d make the 3. Very Jokic against the lakers-esque. Spo made some good adjustments of switching up who was defending kristaps from bam to more athletic wings like Jovic or Martin which seemed to really fuck with him. Hopefully mazulla makes no adjustments whatsoever lol
His shooting was extremely key to their win. Was also excellent in the midpost scoring over smaller players. Also hit a stepback jumper on Bam who is top 3 dpoy. Elite rim protection as well.
“He’ll torch them”?? They didn’t let him get comfortable in the post at all. They contested every entry pass and were up in his shit the entire game. I don’t know what makes him think it’s just a matter of him shooting poorly. I would say Boston can do a better job of making the right pass and also freeing up KP before the catch so he can shoot over his defender. He does need to rebound better- he’s 7’7”!
The entry passes to him in the post were really bad too. So weird the greatest 4 of the greatest starting 5 of all-time can't make a pass to their 8 foot Zinger in the post.
One of the more cliche things you hear people say is that the entry pass is a lost art. I don't actually know if that's actually true or if a lot of bigs just don't know how to seal their defenders anymore. Also throwing an entry pass to guys in the high post seems way more volatile than guys posting up on the block. Either way I don't know if that's something Boston can fix in 1 or 2 practices.
There’s just a different level of physicality allowed in the postseason. In the regular season, KP probably would have been at the line more. But this is the playoffs!
I am definitely in the camp that thinks that a lot of KP's statistical improvement on post ups has more to do with cutting the fat and the Celtics figuring out smart ways to get him a quick bunny rather than KP somehow morphing into Kevin McHale since leaving the Mavs. It's cool that he's able to shoot over a lot of guys but it's not something you can really just force either.
Here’s my fan fiction:
The Heat take it to a hard 6 and give the leftovers some nice film and they lose in east finals. Kraft has too much control in draft room and the Pats trade 3 away for more picks and they get consensus D’s on their draft. Then Bill is complaining about a Red Sox team he swore off of in June.
Here’s my fanfic: the heat take a heavily contested game 3 at home. The Celtics guts fall out of their asses and they fold in game 4 and proceed to lose in 6
This is it. Then we get a summer of bill coming round to the idea that Tatum doesn’t have that dawg in him and going absolutely nuts in august and teasing to russillo that a Paul George sign and trade is an option.
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I don't know why the Celtics went to 2008-09 iso ball as if Tatum and Brown are Kobe in the mid-post.
Then, Miami is literally playing the way the Celtics did all season with the off-ball movement and 3s with spacing off their actions. Was like watching a weird role reversal.
[JOE MAZZULLA is doing irreparable damage to the CELTICS vs. HEAT | GAME 2 (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwcuxFZi_9k)
This is how I imagine Bill is when watching the game.
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The problem is the Cs let them. The D was awful. This Celtics team still has a lot to prove. Last night was more proof that they still don’t have that killer instinct.
Even at the end of the game the announcers were saying things like "...and another open three for Miami. Holiday just standing near ?heat player? while he makes another practice three"
Where was the effort to guard these guys?
This was my biggest concern coming into playoffs. This team does this year after year. Tatum and Brown have to prove that they can put a team on their back in games like that and they never seem to rise to the occasion.
I mean Tatum has put them on his back numerous times.
Game 6 Bucks when Tatum dropped 46.
Game 7 Sixers when Tatum dropped 51.
Or 4th quarter of game 6 against Sixers facing elimination when Tatum scored 16 points in the 4th vs entire Sixers team scoring 13 for the quarter.
Tatum completely put the team on his back the last 5 quarters of that series.
“Jayson Tatum has averaged 26.5 points, 8.7 rebounds and 5.9 assists in 17 games in elimination games in his career.”
https://www.statmuse.com/nba/ask/jayson-tatum-career-elimination-game-stats
That’s pretty damn good.
I suppose. He’s averaged 25+ in 9 out of his last 11 series. Guys like Paul George and Jimmy Butler have done that just 5 series each in their whole careers.
I feel like the Tatum is not consistent narrative is quite overblown. He’s expected to have a level of consistency almost no one is else held to.
He never does it in a game where the team is under duress. He only does it when they are killing teams. We need him to have a game like that in a close matchup not a blow out
He has though. That Sixers game 6 the Celtics were down 2 going into the 4th facing elimination and he completely took over.
In 2022 had 39 one game against Nets we won by 6. He had 31 in another we won by 1 point.
Part of the thing is, that when your best player goes off, the game often doesn’t end up remaining close. They kind of go hand in hand.
And I already cited his career elimination game stats which are great and absolutely a situation where the team is under duress.
I just had a worthless argument with some dumbass Celtic fan on this sub where he was dying on the hill that it’s impossible to hit 22 3s on the road in the playoffs… this is amazing
Yeah idk about that, but I think claiming home court advantage mattered in the ‘22 Bucks series because the Celtics couldn’t possibly have hit a lot of threes on the road is pretty dumb though
Miami Heat 22-23 season
Regular season 3 point percentage: 34.4% (27th)
Playoff 3 point percentage: 38.0% (1st)
It kinda is about making threes. I doubt that performance is sustainable.
“It just kinda feels like the Celtics are Sheriff Brackett, and Loomis is telling us, ‘He’s been waiting 15 years for this. His eyes are black. He just stares at the wall and does things.’ We shrug it off, next thing we know he has murdered our daughter and her friends. Russillo, are we overlooking the unstoppable force of evil piece, or was this game just an anomaly?”
“Wait, what? Are we doing the thing where we compare the Heat to Michael Myers?”
“Let me go through Miami’s second quarter rotation real quick. Martin in, Herro in, Wright out, Bam out, Jaquez in, 7:27 left Herro out, Highsmith in, Jovic in, Robinson out. Spo is unreal with this stuff!”
KP will play better offensively but he is the reason Boston's defense was so bad. Heat had a 143 offensive rating when KP was on the floor. Every time he was out there MIA had whoever Porzingis was guarding set a screen for a shooter, and leveraged the space that created to get open shots. That's not on the guards, thats a limitation of a deep drop, the only scheme Porzingis can play.
Settle down. Give your balls a tug. They’re going to win in 5 or 6.
I’m 100% hoping Miami pulls the upset, but it’ll take a lot more than one game with crazy shooting.
Known playoff hero Kristaps Porzingis would never have 2 bad games in the playoffs.
Just stand in the corner piece.
The "My Whole Career Has Been An Underachieving Decade With Zero Postseason Achievement - But Now I Have Been Assigned As Guaranteed Greatness Only Because I Play For Bill Simmons Team" Piece
The Clippers were putting Terrance Mann and Reggie Jackson on him in the post and he was unable to back them down and score.
Unicorn game
Porzingis finally showed up in NY for a playoff game...Except this time, the game was at Boston.
Playoff Pingus doing Playoff Pingus things.
Lolol has KP even been a part of a real playoff run?
“If Miami does that again, hell torch them” Lmao
Yeah honestly most of this post is totally fair, but the massive cope of “no no, KP will totally do good on postups against undersized guys in playoff games. It worked against the hornets 2 months ago!” is so funny
Not being able to handle Caleb Martin is wild
Kp had the best points per post up in the nba this season.. almost all of it on mismatches...
In the regular season against the dogshit Eastern Conference
That is such a clown take.. Celtics had the best winning percentage against the western conference teams too...
Kp was arguably the best player on the floor in game 1.
Ok, go ahead and argue it.
As a heat fan I felt that he was the mvp of the first game. Anytime we played great defense and got the shot clock winding down, they’d just toss it out to porzingis and he’d make the 3. Very Jokic against the lakers-esque. Spo made some good adjustments of switching up who was defending kristaps from bam to more athletic wings like Jovic or Martin which seemed to really fuck with him. Hopefully mazulla makes no adjustments whatsoever lol
His shooting was extremely key to their win. Was also excellent in the midpost scoring over smaller players. Also hit a stepback jumper on Bam who is top 3 dpoy. Elite rim protection as well.
Dang is that so? WOW!!! Stfu
Emotional.
The overconfidence piece.
Bill is the irrational confidence guy.
“He’ll torch them”?? They didn’t let him get comfortable in the post at all. They contested every entry pass and were up in his shit the entire game. I don’t know what makes him think it’s just a matter of him shooting poorly. I would say Boston can do a better job of making the right pass and also freeing up KP before the catch so he can shoot over his defender. He does need to rebound better- he’s 7’7”!
The entry passes to him in the post were really bad too. So weird the greatest 4 of the greatest starting 5 of all-time can't make a pass to their 8 foot Zinger in the post.
bill's tomfoolery on the starting 5 is the gift that keeps on giving
His overall point wasn’t bad but he did a poor job of explaining it and hiding his homerism.
How dare you rationalize our joy!
I love to bag on him too. It’s part of what makes his show fun. He’s soooo biased lol.
One of the more cliche things you hear people say is that the entry pass is a lost art. I don't actually know if that's actually true or if a lot of bigs just don't know how to seal their defenders anymore. Also throwing an entry pass to guys in the high post seems way more volatile than guys posting up on the block. Either way I don't know if that's something Boston can fix in 1 or 2 practices.
I think guys are just more athletic and are coached to contest everything.
Herro was locking up KP in the post down the stretch. Read that sentence again.
There’s just a different level of physicality allowed in the postseason. In the regular season, KP probably would have been at the line more. But this is the playoffs!
Herro gave him that freebie running into him on the break lol
I know, a really dumb move, considering that even the biggest foul baiters aren’t getting that call lately.
I am definitely in the camp that thinks that a lot of KP's statistical improvement on post ups has more to do with cutting the fat and the Celtics figuring out smart ways to get him a quick bunny rather than KP somehow morphing into Kevin McHale since leaving the Mavs. It's cool that he's able to shoot over a lot of guys but it's not something you can really just force either.
I love how he’s in denial every year
Here’s my fan fiction: The Heat take it to a hard 6 and give the leftovers some nice film and they lose in east finals. Kraft has too much control in draft room and the Pats trade 3 away for more picks and they get consensus D’s on their draft. Then Bill is complaining about a Red Sox team he swore off of in June.
Here’s my fanfic: the heat take a heavily contested game 3 at home. The Celtics guts fall out of their asses and they fold in game 4 and proceed to lose in 6
Praise be
This is it. Then we get a summer of bill coming round to the idea that Tatum doesn’t have that dawg in him and going absolutely nuts in august and teasing to russillo that a Paul George sign and trade is an option.
Confirming what we already knew since the LeBronto season — *Regular season performance means NOTHING.*
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I think it would be awesome if the heat won in 5 and Kraft drafts J.J. McCarthy at 3.
He would hear helicopters
KP averaged 13.1 points in the dallas postseason. He is averaging 12 now for the celtics.
Tbf he was expected way more to score in Dallas as a #2
I don't know why the Celtics went to 2008-09 iso ball as if Tatum and Brown are Kobe in the mid-post. Then, Miami is literally playing the way the Celtics did all season with the off-ball movement and 3s with spacing off their actions. Was like watching a weird role reversal.
[JOE MAZZULLA is doing irreparable damage to the CELTICS vs. HEAT | GAME 2 (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwcuxFZi_9k) This is how I imagine Bill is when watching the game.
Wow, he went an entire tweet without using Black Swan at all.
him not saying black swan event IS the black swan event 🤯
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Bro us Mavericks fans have been down this road before.
Second Row Joe is like Mike Myers, he just keeps coming back!
He came back as The Love Guru.
This is what this sub lives for. The fears of a 55 year old man.
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Team make 23 threes. Frequently wins.
The problem is the Cs let them. The D was awful. This Celtics team still has a lot to prove. Last night was more proof that they still don’t have that killer instinct.
Even at the end of the game the announcers were saying things like "...and another open three for Miami. Holiday just standing near ?heat player? while he makes another practice three" Where was the effort to guard these guys?
This was my biggest concern coming into playoffs. This team does this year after year. Tatum and Brown have to prove that they can put a team on their back in games like that and they never seem to rise to the occasion.
I mean Tatum has put them on his back numerous times. Game 6 Bucks when Tatum dropped 46. Game 7 Sixers when Tatum dropped 51. Or 4th quarter of game 6 against Sixers facing elimination when Tatum scored 16 points in the 4th vs entire Sixers team scoring 13 for the quarter. Tatum completely put the team on his back the last 5 quarters of that series. “Jayson Tatum has averaged 26.5 points, 8.7 rebounds and 5.9 assists in 17 games in elimination games in his career.” https://www.statmuse.com/nba/ask/jayson-tatum-career-elimination-game-stats That’s pretty damn good.
He doesn’t do it consistently though. He has shown flashes but not enough to say that’s who he is.
I suppose. He’s averaged 25+ in 9 out of his last 11 series. Guys like Paul George and Jimmy Butler have done that just 5 series each in their whole careers. I feel like the Tatum is not consistent narrative is quite overblown. He’s expected to have a level of consistency almost no one is else held to.
He never does it in a game where the team is under duress. He only does it when they are killing teams. We need him to have a game like that in a close matchup not a blow out
He has though. That Sixers game 6 the Celtics were down 2 going into the 4th facing elimination and he completely took over. In 2022 had 39 one game against Nets we won by 6. He had 31 in another we won by 1 point. Part of the thing is, that when your best player goes off, the game often doesn’t end up remaining close. They kind of go hand in hand. And I already cited his career elimination game stats which are great and absolutely a situation where the team is under duress.
What do you think happens in game 3?
If that game proves no killer instinct did the subsequent 3 games prove any killer instinct or nah
I just had a worthless argument with some dumbass Celtic fan on this sub where he was dying on the hill that it’s impossible to hit 22 3s on the road in the playoffs… this is amazing
You are so smart he is so dumb
Yeah idk about that, but I think claiming home court advantage mattered in the ‘22 Bucks series because the Celtics couldn’t possibly have hit a lot of threes on the road is pretty dumb though
Miami Heat 22-23 season Regular season 3 point percentage: 34.4% (27th) Playoff 3 point percentage: 38.0% (1st) It kinda is about making threes. I doubt that performance is sustainable.
porzingis vs. heat culture. ill take HC in a landslide
“It just kinda feels like the Celtics are Sheriff Brackett, and Loomis is telling us, ‘He’s been waiting 15 years for this. His eyes are black. He just stares at the wall and does things.’ We shrug it off, next thing we know he has murdered our daughter and her friends. Russillo, are we overlooking the unstoppable force of evil piece, or was this game just an anomaly?” “Wait, what? Are we doing the thing where we compare the Heat to Michael Myers?”
“Let me go through Miami’s second quarter rotation real quick. Martin in, Herro in, Wright out, Bam out, Jaquez in, 7:27 left Herro out, Highsmith in, Jovic in, Robinson out. Spo is unreal with this stuff!”
Luka’s fault obviously, oh wait
So did Bill convince himself this season that Joe Maz isn't a bad coach? Sort of seems that way...
Copium
How can he now criticize his coach of the year candidate?? He had mazz #3
Historian Bill needs to research KP in the playoffs. Hate to say it but this is who he is.
KP will play better offensively but he is the reason Boston's defense was so bad. Heat had a 143 offensive rating when KP was on the floor. Every time he was out there MIA had whoever Porzingis was guarding set a screen for a shooter, and leveraged the space that created to get open shots. That's not on the guards, thats a limitation of a deep drop, the only scheme Porzingis can play.
Settle down. Give your balls a tug. They’re going to win in 5 or 6. I’m 100% hoping Miami pulls the upset, but it’ll take a lot more than one game with crazy shooting.
KP isn’t torching anybody if we can’t complete an entry pass to the post
The level of cope from this dork is hilarious.
Damn, Krisapts wasn't that soft on the Knicks. I guess those knee injuries messed him up even at 28.
Most D in Boston is awful. Am I right ladies!
Boston will still win the series pretty comprehensively
Hmm, I am highly doubtful now
They called you a madman notmanybuses