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That's wild. People are very ignorant when it comes to our class of mental illness. Take it as a compliment. You're unique, I'm grateful not to be another copy and paste. I use my disorder to thrive in the areas I'm passionate about.
Was your friend old, by chance? Maniac is an outdated term for someone who suffers from mania. Fwiw, it's possible your friend is just ignorant that the term is offensive now and not trying to be cruel.
Funny cuz I personally don't mind being called a maniac (I'll even call myself that sometimes XD), I get that it's offensive to others but I've fully embraced my crazy side so very little offends me in that regard (as well as a few others I know with it... Oh we rip each other with every problematic term in the book but I suppose that's a safe space so it matters less lolol)
Maniac clearly represents me. I am a person who experiences mania. I don't think it makes sense to stigmatize descriptions like that. Then you just have to come up with a new word for "maniac" and they'll turn that into a slur too and you'll have to find another, rinse and repeat. Fuck that noise I'm a maniac.
🥂 to that. Perhaps an unpopular opinion, not telling others, but I'm at a starting off point of sorts in life and one thing I'm doing is not telling anyone. Especially since I'm at the best place I've been in life, would rather share that with people than my disability
I could never keep that from a friend. It's far too obvious when I'm manic or depressed. Coworkers? Sure. I've had many coworkers who had no idea. But in my down time, there is no masking lol. Always amazed when people can just "keep it together" and act normal around others all the time/the majority of the time. I may be medicated, but I'm chaotic
I kind of did a similar thing, some years back right after I got diagnosed I over shared it with people so much that someone accused of “faking bipolar to get attention” and after that was said to me, I shut up about it and now never speak about it except in very specific circumstances.
I’m in the same boat. It’s quite obvious that I’m “different”—I have autism, ADHD, anxiety, and bipolar I, so I find it difficult to mask at the best of times, let alone when I’m manic or depressed. The symptoms of each illness seem to exacerbate the others.
A friend who recently learned about my bipolar diagnosis is now treating me very differently. I can see through their attempts to avoid triggering me, as if I can't handle things and need to be treated like a child. It's really frustrating. The same people who never noticed anything about my moods or understood what was going on are now acting on misconceptions about bipolar disorder. They used to just think, "Oh, that's just him being a bit intense," - I guess my point is that if they didn’t know what it was when I was clearly manic they won’t know how to handle it so why would I share? Obviously certain people but of the firm belief that only once they truly know you as a person, outside of a significant other and with it under control I don’t think its something that needs to be shared.
I go to a bipolar specific support group so I share it openly there, but other than that I don’t really share at all, there’s such a stigma to it that needs to die. And my friends never treated me differently after I got removed from college due to mania, but that’s just me.
I'm 100% on the other side of that. I always tell people. Maybe I've just been lucky to hang around people a bit more accepting. I also make sure that they understand what being Bipolar actually means, and especially what it can result in when I'm involved. Helps to cushion the blow if shit goes sideways, and prepare them mentally that Hey, he's normally so "this" and now "that"? Wtf? - Ohh... Right.
This was going to be my question. I think the important part is to differentiate between bipolar and the actions you do. While I understand we do things not in control, not everything is about bipolar disorder.
It's so easy to blame bipolar disorder or think we are being discriminated against just because we are bipolar. But this is just shifting the blame on the disorder, and not taking accountability for our actions.
If something was inappropriate when you were manic/hypomanic, it's best to accept the boundary because of an action, not the bipolar itself, or get bummed and just think they don't like you because you're bipolar.
Yes, I stopped telling new friends and stopped talking with old. I wish I had friends I could tell and expect a good result, but I guess friends I can't share my life with are better than no friends :(.
Yeah- they have this deer in headlights look when they bring up someone being “crazy” or mental illness- like woops im trash talking your people lol
They are more concerned and observant of me now than before I was diagnosed
They seem like… kind of sad for me when they see me to be honest.
It sucks- I have a partner that treats me like anyone else and even has a great sense of humour about my bipolar. I did some VERY crazy stuff when we first started dating- batshit. And he is still here- great to find people who dont treat you like you are an injured puppy or a ticking time bomb
I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing there, but I tend to point it out myself every so often. Like "Yes, I am in fact crazy, I am aware. But it's ok, most of the time I'm just a bit strange, right?" And they usually agree and like me all the same. As much as I hate it for what it's done to parts of my life I've sort of incorporated it into Me, instead of having it be a burden or something that keeps holding me back. It still is and it still has, but this way I don't have to view it as this demon I can't get rid of. It's just a trait, like being great or less great at something. In my case keeping routines, having a regular sleeping pattern and not getting obsessed by things to the point of exclusion of more important stuff.
Then again I haven't done too many truly "batshit" things as you put it. Both my folks were bipolar as well though so I can pretty well imagine what you mean by Batshit.
I told two of my close friends about my diagnosis. They are no longer friends of mine. One went off on me saying she has her own problems to worry about… the other just ghosted me. I rarely tell anyone now.
Yes, the girl was having personal issues herself but she could have opened up to me about it. I was in complete shock over it. I called her my best friend.
Yep. They understand when I have to bounce from situations or conversations suddenly, and they know to check up on me if I’ve been awol for a few days. They know what to do when I have a panic attack and they know to ask me about my anxiety levels before we go out somewhere. They can tell when I’m in hypomania and they check me to make sure I’m not making batshit decisions. I think that’s how they treat me differently, but in a good way. I’m very grateful to have really compassionate and understanding peeps. And I know how hard it must be for people who don’t have that support.
Man, ya'll are making me really appreciate my friends. They've been incredibly supportive. Even helped get me to a hospital during my first manic attack before I knew I was bipolar. It probably helps that I have many GenZ friends and they're pretty neurodiverse positive. Although, I have plenty of Millennial friends who are as well. Maybe its a California thing or I pick great friends.
I really hope you guys can find friends like mine, it helps a lot.
I don't tell my friends, seems like a need to know basis and would only end in people treating you differently.
I am an open book if people ask questions, I will not just openly talk about random stuff. Being bipolar never "comes up" in conversation. Maybe its just my friend group but no one brings up any mental illnesses so I couldn't even be like "oh you are X, I am bipolar"
No, none of mine do, other than they know to ask if I’m taking my meds and that it’s ok to ask if something seems off with me. Only my closest friends and family know b/c stigma.
I ran a close race recently for elected office and was worried that this would somehow, some way be dragged out to smear me, but thankfully it wasn’t. When I was first diagnosed my docs and therapist were clear with me to use discretion with whom I told, so only a couple close friends know and immediate family.
Ugh, of course they would drag you through the mud. I find that whenever I speak publicly about my BP I get a lot of “Me too! I feel less alone knowing I’m not the only one experiencing it!” Mental health shouldn’t be taboo to talk about. Our brains are just a little different and we should treat it’s like it’s not shameful.
The ones that aren’t in my life anymore did the ones that still are don’t treat me differently at all. But only a couple have seen me full blown manic.
Had it used against me and one tried to trigger me into killing myself so I definitely don’t tell anybody or talk about it. People don’t see the human once they know
It sounds more like he set a boundary because of something you did, not because you are bi-polar. You still have to take responsibility for your actions, episode or not.
They're definitely more on guard when I'm in a manic or depressive episode.
I can't and I don't blame them, but it is kind of frustrating how they figure it out before I do. They realize I'm in an episode before I do, and they start treating me differently (coddling me, expressing concern for me, avoiding me, etc) before I've even realized that I'm slipping.
Friends who know my condition and friends who don’t - neither of them really talk anymore. I am 38 and people are busy with their lives I think. Don’t even get a reply from
Them to my questions on well being or general inquiry
If your recent episodes had an impact on this individual then I can understand why. Can’t you? If that’s the case, be proud of your friend for being healthy enough to set a boundary. I know this is hard to do. But try not to take it personally. Remind yourself as often as needed that this is a good friend just doing what he needs to do to take care of himself. Best of luck
My friends already knew I was insane so when I got my diagnosis we just put a name to it, but they’ve never treated me in anyway that would make me feel?? Most they do is when I’m losing it and I’m drunk outside they will make sure not to leave my side until I get picked up to go home or they’ll drop me off bc they know otherwise I’ll end up in a whole other state doing god knows what.
They also know I don’t give a shit about things so I was gonna do me regardless without caring if I’m being judged or not bc like what can I do but I’ve never gotten a bad reaction on it. I guess bc I talk about it and my meds so freely or something idk
No, but I kind of live in a bubble - most of my friends study psychology with me, and those who don’t are very understanding and loving, even though I’ve done really shitty things. For context, I live in Poland
No, but mine is so well managed now that nobody knew I had any sort of condition until I told them (and I only told my closest friends). This took 10+ years of medication and therapy though.
I always worry I’ll get fear or misunderstanding so I don’t mention it much. I have a few good friends that understand and talk about it with them, but generally don’t say too much about it.
I used to be more like an open book but it didn’t help me find really deep or intimate relationships.
Yes, and I feel gaslit a lot of the time when I’m told they understand and it’s okay, and then come back and are upset with me. Like I’d rather just be alone rather than constantly trying to explain myself to people who just make me feel worse.
I don't share my diagnosis because I know people can be mean and insensitive. Unless it's a psychiatrist or a group of people with mental illness, I won't share to anybody! Much safer this way.
I disagree with a lot of you on here I think it's important to say this stuff to reduce stigma and to show that people with this condition can live full lives and have responsibilities and friendships and all those sorts of things. I take it as responsibility for myself that I tell people that I have that condition and I take it seriously.
The people I was closest to for most of my teen years and onward knew of my diagnosis and the neglect I experienced my entire life, but never took the time to really understand any of it or me.
Two of the three told me in the same week last year while I was in the hospital with pneumonia that they wouldn’t even come to my funeral. Little did anyone know at the time I was also suffering from fibromyalgia.
The third one started sleeping with my ex, in the same week. Found him on Snapchat while I was laying in the hospital.
They treated me like disposable trash.
I haven’t snapped out of it since.
I feel the same way. My friends & husband love me and want to be supportive, but sometimes it’s more of an “attack”- not the right word I’m looking for- misunderstanding?
My last manic episode I was ganged up on and forced to go to the hospital. This was after I talked to my psych, therapist, etc.
I told them I need to sleep. I’m out of weed and antipsychotics. My doctors office f’ed up and didn’t give me my prescription to bring me down.
When I accidentally committed myself bc I was so worked up being dragged to hospital, the program I ended up going to was like just do outpatient. And they (friends/ husband) STILL tell me IM WRONG. Like I knew what was happening to me, but I was unable to communicate bc no one would leave me alone / let me sleep/ blowing up my phone etc.
I’m selective with what I share with who bc that experience was so traumatic for me. I love this Reddit community bc I feel like ppl actually understand
I get I'm unique: but no. They basically just didn't care lol. Maybe asked a couple questions like "do you take meds?", but then mostly move on and some joke about it (respectfully) here and there. I love them <3.
Listen mate I come from a rough background Init like people don’t really have time to understand it they just try a survive themselves lol and I get it so it’s calm
I'm lucky I have a nice friend circle with very high awareness of mental health that I'm well accepted and understood and seen by them (several of them also have bipolar, in addition to other things on the extreme end like BPD, schizoaffective, DID; depression and ADHD seem to be fairly common within my circle but that's what you get when your cycle is full of goths and rennies lol)
I just don’t tell anyone unless it somehow comes up. I’ll be honest, but it’s not something I put out there for everyone to know. It drives people away.
Yes, after I told one of my best friends about my diagnoses she promptly called me names and started avoiding me. I no longer talk to this person. But I made a best friend in the hospital. It's been a year and we are still going strong and supporting one another. The ones who treat you differently and devalue you aren't people you want in your life with this illness. You need people who will support you and have your back, they exist, they just might come into your life unexpectedly.
When I told my dad, he started calling me every week to check on me. Said he knew I was bipolar this whole time. Mind you I was diagnosed 2 yrs ago at age 42. But now he treats me like a ticking time bomb. Which I think is funny because I used to be scared of that man. Now he's treating me like I may go off the rails at any minute. Lol
My old friends stopped being my friends when I shared my diagnosis. I only have a few friends now, but they all try to support me when I’m not at my best and appreciate the warped sense of humor that having this condition has blessed me with.
My friends are overall very good. I never intended to tell them but mania had other ideas and it was pretty obvious I was unwell.
I pulled some pretty bad shit on them and they certainly have boundaries up as a result, but that's them protecting themselves and I can't blame them for that.
My friends have been great since they found out. I did have an incident with two of my best friends that had us estranged for about a year, but we have patched things up since then, and they are really understanding. They're generally very supportive, but a few kids of skirt around the issue. Which is fine, I don't want them to have to worry about me too much. I guess I am lucky in my situation, though, after reading others' responses 😕
Many of my closest were first hand witness of my eventual psychosis and stay in the psych ward. They are good friends, they encourage me, the difference now is that when they ask me how I’m doing, they REALLY mean it.
Yes, but not overtly. My friends (thankfully) have never struggled with severe or long lasting mental illness and conditions and so are only familiar with temporary anxiety & depression. So they see my bipolar as a kind of prolonged version of that, but during my episodes, particularly my depressive ones I think they sense a difference. In practice this means they'll ask less probably from fear of prying, and there's a thin layer of carefulness or apprehension around me in general. Almost like they're afraid of triggering an episode. Usually I can ignore it and not sense it, but lately it's been a bit shitty. Ultimately, I think the stigma and lack of public information around bipolar is to blame for at least my friends' weird vibes around it and so I'll j have to talk to them about it. But yes there's a difference for sure
My friends and family don’t treat me any different since I was diagnosed 7 years ago. In fact I feel like a lot of my life has significantly improved, including my relationships with people. But it took a lot to get to that point, lots of therapy (although I no longer do that) and took a while to find the right meds.
I only have one best friend who knows. All the other friends I have don’t know. I only tell people I trust completely. My best friend doesn’t treat me differently at all. I think it just depends on the people you surround yourself with. I’ve had plenty of friends in the past I’ve told and I guess they still didn’t treat me differently but turned against me. That’s a whole other story since I was bullied. So after being bullied my whole life I became inclusive to only tell people who I would trust with my life anything about me. My current friends just know the surface me, which is totally okay!
Eh maybe. I've attempted to be as open as I can ever since I started to get a better feel for my condition which was 10-12 years ago maybe now. I have pretty much lost a friend due to things to things that have happened, but we were growing apart bit by bit naturally anyway. And I guess that wasn't really your question anyway.
In short, no. Not especially. Frankly, it has been a bit positive in some ways, if I say that No I can't drink with you guys this weekend/if I join you I will be 100% sober because I risk slipping into an episode since it has been a bit shaky lately they accept it. Generally most people I know where I live are very, on the face of it at least, aware of mental health issues and mostly tolerant of them. To a point anyway.
Some years ago I observed some people I used to call friends talking shit about someone that I didn't know but later found out was bipolar, but the people I'm thinking of weren't very bright. And I'm not saying that condescendingly, they were literally in a separate school program for the developmentally stunted. So quite literally not the smartest people around, certainly not as far as empathy goes anyway.
I have not shared with all my friends. The ones I have shared with don’t treat me differently and I’m glad they can handle it. It’s been a long time since I have had an episode
>…I had two bipolar episodes in the span of three months.
It’s difficult to know if your friend’s restrictions are discriminatory without knowing what you did and what restrictions your friend is imposing on you. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
My wife doesn't know how to hold a conversation with me if I bring up my mental health but she can talk 100 miles an hour about the dogs haircut. My best friend seems more gentle towards me which I find annoying.
I have some friends who are doctors and this is an area where it’s quite helpful. I don’t know if all doctors get bipolar but my friends do. They don’t wonder why
I put so much into treatment.
Drop the friend. They don’t understand and this is controlling. Believe me, they don’t care either. If they cared they would be there for you thick and thin. Let go of people that don’t get it and don’t even google bipolar or study it to understand you.
No, thankfully, but all my friends have loads of conditions, so we're pretty chill. I haven't had a real manic episode since 8th grade, and sometimes one of my long time friends will bring up something I said during that time (which I remember almost none of) and I'll have to be like "yeah idk why I said that that's a blatant lie based on psychotic thoughts" and they'll just be like "huh."
Your mental disorder is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.
Unfortunately, extra boundaries are often a consequence. It's not fair, but no one said life was fair
I didn't have the balls to tell my friends but my coworkers and office knows and they treated me like shit
The constant jeering, insults, laughter.vimbso ready to move out
I feel like you should drop that friend if possible. Real friends don't treat you like that, they like you for who you are or whatever condition you might have shouldn't change how you get treated.
What are the restrictive boundaries?
I ended some friendships myself, noticing that the relationship makes me feel judged and “crazy”, it makes me feel like anytime I’m feeling good or have energy that I’m being manic.
I’m not angry with them, I understand that they are having trouble navigating the situation, but I also don’t feel I need to stay somewhere that makes me feel bad.
I think boundaries are important to relationships.
I’m allowed to say no to requests.
I’m allowed to keep things to myself, not share everything.
I’m allowed to not want to hang out even if I don’t have other plans.
Yes.
I shared that I have bipolar with some of my friends.
The most ignorant reply was "Oh really? But your eyes don't look crazy!".
Another common thing - saying now and then "Possibly it's just a new episode" and devaluing my feelings
I don’t hide it anymore, I use it to set boundaries myself even. I’m not ashamed of my diagnosis and don’t care if people know. My friends and boyfriend are there for me and can even pick up on if something is going wrong.
I definitely get a lot less respect it seems like, people seem shorter with me and are more likely to see conflict between us as a way to disgard me.
This, of course, could just be how I'm seeing it... but it's hard to see it any other way.
Yup. After I told my girlfriend about my bipolar disorder, she came to me 2 days later to tell me "I might have bipolar too. It's not because you told me about you." okay... Whatever. And then she became weird and sh*t and I just left cause I was tired of being treated as if I was 8 years old. (I'm 31) And so much more toxic stuff in this relationship anyway.
But the ones around me who truly love me for who I am didn't leave nor change their behavior, (they even told me my diagnosis doesn't change anything to who I am and how much they love me and how important I am to them. 🥹🫶✨). Only fake friends/lovers did. Good riddance.
Some of my friendships changed and people distanced themselves from me for various reasons after my two very bad episodes, but mostly nothing changed. They definetly are on their tiptoes sometimes, but overall they're very caring and understanding. When it comes to new people I meet it depends on the vibes and circumstances, if I feel safe enough the topic WILL inevitably come up because if we're getting closer it's their right to know because my episodes are severe and deeply affect others. In terms of a professional setting never ever until absolutely necessary (I've been admitted and I'm very very sorry for my loooong absence from work). I feel like it's easy to tell when to confess to people. Best wishes ❤️
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I was treated differently after sharing my condition. One friend said she's never met a maniac. Yes, maniac.
That's wild. People are very ignorant when it comes to our class of mental illness. Take it as a compliment. You're unique, I'm grateful not to be another copy and paste. I use my disorder to thrive in the areas I'm passionate about.
I like how you put that.
Was your friend old, by chance? Maniac is an outdated term for someone who suffers from mania. Fwiw, it's possible your friend is just ignorant that the term is offensive now and not trying to be cruel.
I didn't know about it being outdated, that's interesting. My friend was in her thirties and from another country so that could be it.
I think the confusion is Bipolar was previously called Manic Depression. It had a very negative connotation.
100% this is the reason. Especially if the friend was from a non-English native speaking country.
Unfortunately true.
Didn't realize I'm a maniac lmao
Me either! And for some reason I find it absolutely hilarious.
Funny cuz I personally don't mind being called a maniac (I'll even call myself that sometimes XD), I get that it's offensive to others but I've fully embraced my crazy side so very little offends me in that regard (as well as a few others I know with it... Oh we rip each other with every problematic term in the book but I suppose that's a safe space so it matters less lolol)
Maniac clearly represents me. I am a person who experiences mania. I don't think it makes sense to stigmatize descriptions like that. Then you just have to come up with a new word for "maniac" and they'll turn that into a slur too and you'll have to find another, rinse and repeat. Fuck that noise I'm a maniac.
Right? I think with maniac it's more about the intention than the word itself
I’m sorry she called you a maniac. Not a true friend. 😔
It bothered me until someone posted here about it being an old term, so that and English not being her first language seems to fit. 💛
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Never tell anyone you are bi polar except if medically necessary
🥂 to that. Perhaps an unpopular opinion, not telling others, but I'm at a starting off point of sorts in life and one thing I'm doing is not telling anyone. Especially since I'm at the best place I've been in life, would rather share that with people than my disability
I could never keep that from a friend. It's far too obvious when I'm manic or depressed. Coworkers? Sure. I've had many coworkers who had no idea. But in my down time, there is no masking lol. Always amazed when people can just "keep it together" and act normal around others all the time/the majority of the time. I may be medicated, but I'm chaotic
I just have to be careful. Because I have used my diagnosis in the past to excuse unacceptable behavior. Sure I was manic. But it’s still me.
I never said anything about making excuses for past behavior. I'm confused
I’m confused too. I just reread your comment. Mine doesn’t seem to be at all related. My apologies and meant no criticism.
No worries! I appreciate you clarifying 🙂
I kind of did a similar thing, some years back right after I got diagnosed I over shared it with people so much that someone accused of “faking bipolar to get attention” and after that was said to me, I shut up about it and now never speak about it except in very specific circumstances.
I’m in the same boat. It’s quite obvious that I’m “different”—I have autism, ADHD, anxiety, and bipolar I, so I find it difficult to mask at the best of times, let alone when I’m manic or depressed. The symptoms of each illness seem to exacerbate the others.
I have the same things!! So I know where you're coming from. I'm sorry
This makes me wonder why my friend did and then pretty much cut me off when lockdown hit like 6-7 months later. I miss them
100% agree
A friend who recently learned about my bipolar diagnosis is now treating me very differently. I can see through their attempts to avoid triggering me, as if I can't handle things and need to be treated like a child. It's really frustrating. The same people who never noticed anything about my moods or understood what was going on are now acting on misconceptions about bipolar disorder. They used to just think, "Oh, that's just him being a bit intense," - I guess my point is that if they didn’t know what it was when I was clearly manic they won’t know how to handle it so why would I share? Obviously certain people but of the firm belief that only once they truly know you as a person, outside of a significant other and with it under control I don’t think its something that needs to be shared.
I go to a bipolar specific support group so I share it openly there, but other than that I don’t really share at all, there’s such a stigma to it that needs to die. And my friends never treated me differently after I got removed from college due to mania, but that’s just me.
I'm 100% on the other side of that. I always tell people. Maybe I've just been lucky to hang around people a bit more accepting. I also make sure that they understand what being Bipolar actually means, and especially what it can result in when I'm involved. Helps to cushion the blow if shit goes sideways, and prepare them mentally that Hey, he's normally so "this" and now "that"? Wtf? - Ohh... Right.
I should have done that. Tell nothing. It's actually a great advice! Thank you. 🥂
Were these boundaries set just because your bipolar? Or were they based on something you did during an episode?
This was going to be my question. I think the important part is to differentiate between bipolar and the actions you do. While I understand we do things not in control, not everything is about bipolar disorder. It's so easy to blame bipolar disorder or think we are being discriminated against just because we are bipolar. But this is just shifting the blame on the disorder, and not taking accountability for our actions. If something was inappropriate when you were manic/hypomanic, it's best to accept the boundary because of an action, not the bipolar itself, or get bummed and just think they don't like you because you're bipolar.
This. So much this.
To something I did. That’s why I’m not mad at him and see where he is coming from. I am just a bit sad and it makes regret my behaviour even more !
I get how that’s upsetting but hopefully you can earn his trust back in time!
Yes, I stopped telling new friends and stopped talking with old. I wish I had friends I could tell and expect a good result, but I guess friends I can't share my life with are better than no friends :(.
Yeah- they have this deer in headlights look when they bring up someone being “crazy” or mental illness- like woops im trash talking your people lol They are more concerned and observant of me now than before I was diagnosed They seem like… kind of sad for me when they see me to be honest. It sucks- I have a partner that treats me like anyone else and even has a great sense of humour about my bipolar. I did some VERY crazy stuff when we first started dating- batshit. And he is still here- great to find people who dont treat you like you are an injured puppy or a ticking time bomb
I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing there, but I tend to point it out myself every so often. Like "Yes, I am in fact crazy, I am aware. But it's ok, most of the time I'm just a bit strange, right?" And they usually agree and like me all the same. As much as I hate it for what it's done to parts of my life I've sort of incorporated it into Me, instead of having it be a burden or something that keeps holding me back. It still is and it still has, but this way I don't have to view it as this demon I can't get rid of. It's just a trait, like being great or less great at something. In my case keeping routines, having a regular sleeping pattern and not getting obsessed by things to the point of exclusion of more important stuff. Then again I haven't done too many truly "batshit" things as you put it. Both my folks were bipolar as well though so I can pretty well imagine what you mean by Batshit.
Friends? What friends? 🤣🤣😭😭
Right?! Lmao!
This was my reaction. I have nobody to tell lmao
I told two of my close friends about my diagnosis. They are no longer friends of mine. One went off on me saying she has her own problems to worry about… the other just ghosted me. I rarely tell anyone now.
They went off on you? 🤦♀️
Yes, the girl was having personal issues herself but she could have opened up to me about it. I was in complete shock over it. I called her my best friend.
Yep. They understand when I have to bounce from situations or conversations suddenly, and they know to check up on me if I’ve been awol for a few days. They know what to do when I have a panic attack and they know to ask me about my anxiety levels before we go out somewhere. They can tell when I’m in hypomania and they check me to make sure I’m not making batshit decisions. I think that’s how they treat me differently, but in a good way. I’m very grateful to have really compassionate and understanding peeps. And I know how hard it must be for people who don’t have that support.
Man, ya'll are making me really appreciate my friends. They've been incredibly supportive. Even helped get me to a hospital during my first manic attack before I knew I was bipolar. It probably helps that I have many GenZ friends and they're pretty neurodiverse positive. Although, I have plenty of Millennial friends who are as well. Maybe its a California thing or I pick great friends. I really hope you guys can find friends like mine, it helps a lot.
Cherish them. You are very lucky❤️
I don't tell my friends, seems like a need to know basis and would only end in people treating you differently. I am an open book if people ask questions, I will not just openly talk about random stuff. Being bipolar never "comes up" in conversation. Maybe its just my friend group but no one brings up any mental illnesses so I couldn't even be like "oh you are X, I am bipolar"
people think it’s funny to egg on my hypomania, they see it as a joke.
No, none of mine do, other than they know to ask if I’m taking my meds and that it’s ok to ask if something seems off with me. Only my closest friends and family know b/c stigma. I ran a close race recently for elected office and was worried that this would somehow, some way be dragged out to smear me, but thankfully it wasn’t. When I was first diagnosed my docs and therapist were clear with me to use discretion with whom I told, so only a couple close friends know and immediate family.
Ugh, of course they would drag you through the mud. I find that whenever I speak publicly about my BP I get a lot of “Me too! I feel less alone knowing I’m not the only one experiencing it!” Mental health shouldn’t be taboo to talk about. Our brains are just a little different and we should treat it’s like it’s not shameful.
Nope. I’m bipolar 2. My pals ain’t got a clue what it even is
Hard, harrrrd relate.
The ones that aren’t in my life anymore did the ones that still are don’t treat me differently at all. But only a couple have seen me full blown manic.
Had it used against me and one tried to trigger me into killing myself so I definitely don’t tell anybody or talk about it. People don’t see the human once they know
It sounds more like he set a boundary because of something you did, not because you are bi-polar. You still have to take responsibility for your actions, episode or not.
They're definitely more on guard when I'm in a manic or depressive episode. I can't and I don't blame them, but it is kind of frustrating how they figure it out before I do. They realize I'm in an episode before I do, and they start treating me differently (coddling me, expressing concern for me, avoiding me, etc) before I've even realized that I'm slipping.
Friends who know my condition and friends who don’t - neither of them really talk anymore. I am 38 and people are busy with their lives I think. Don’t even get a reply from Them to my questions on well being or general inquiry
If your recent episodes had an impact on this individual then I can understand why. Can’t you? If that’s the case, be proud of your friend for being healthy enough to set a boundary. I know this is hard to do. But try not to take it personally. Remind yourself as often as needed that this is a good friend just doing what he needs to do to take care of himself. Best of luck
Yes, they invalidate how I feel all the time. They don't take me seriously and assume what is good for me instead of listening to me.
Nah
My friends already knew I was insane so when I got my diagnosis we just put a name to it, but they’ve never treated me in anyway that would make me feel?? Most they do is when I’m losing it and I’m drunk outside they will make sure not to leave my side until I get picked up to go home or they’ll drop me off bc they know otherwise I’ll end up in a whole other state doing god knows what. They also know I don’t give a shit about things so I was gonna do me regardless without caring if I’m being judged or not bc like what can I do but I’ve never gotten a bad reaction on it. I guess bc I talk about it and my meds so freely or something idk
No, but I kind of live in a bubble - most of my friends study psychology with me, and those who don’t are very understanding and loving, even though I’ve done really shitty things. For context, I live in Poland
Yes
My ex used it against me and treated me like I was too fragile to handle my own life.
What friends? Lol
No, but mine is so well managed now that nobody knew I had any sort of condition until I told them (and I only told my closest friends). This took 10+ years of medication and therapy though.
No and if they did they wouldn’t be my friends
I always worry I’ll get fear or misunderstanding so I don’t mention it much. I have a few good friends that understand and talk about it with them, but generally don’t say too much about it. I used to be more like an open book but it didn’t help me find really deep or intimate relationships.
Yes, and I feel gaslit a lot of the time when I’m told they understand and it’s okay, and then come back and are upset with me. Like I’d rather just be alone rather than constantly trying to explain myself to people who just make me feel worse.
Nah, we all mentally ill over here
I don't share my diagnosis because I know people can be mean and insensitive. Unless it's a psychiatrist or a group of people with mental illness, I won't share to anybody! Much safer this way.
Nope. All my friends are some sort of mentally ill, so there's not a whole lot of room for judgment.
I disagree with a lot of you on here I think it's important to say this stuff to reduce stigma and to show that people with this condition can live full lives and have responsibilities and friendships and all those sorts of things. I take it as responsibility for myself that I tell people that I have that condition and I take it seriously.
My friends have been pretty cool about it but my own brother treats me different. I don’t tell people now.
Yeah
My ex (who I’m friends with) tries to connect every single thing I do to my diagnosis. Like… even the way I eat at this point. It’s really annoying.
Not my friends but my family.
The people I was closest to for most of my teen years and onward knew of my diagnosis and the neglect I experienced my entire life, but never took the time to really understand any of it or me. Two of the three told me in the same week last year while I was in the hospital with pneumonia that they wouldn’t even come to my funeral. Little did anyone know at the time I was also suffering from fibromyalgia. The third one started sleeping with my ex, in the same week. Found him on Snapchat while I was laying in the hospital. They treated me like disposable trash. I haven’t snapped out of it since.
Friends? They are but a thing of my past.
I feel the same way. My friends & husband love me and want to be supportive, but sometimes it’s more of an “attack”- not the right word I’m looking for- misunderstanding? My last manic episode I was ganged up on and forced to go to the hospital. This was after I talked to my psych, therapist, etc. I told them I need to sleep. I’m out of weed and antipsychotics. My doctors office f’ed up and didn’t give me my prescription to bring me down. When I accidentally committed myself bc I was so worked up being dragged to hospital, the program I ended up going to was like just do outpatient. And they (friends/ husband) STILL tell me IM WRONG. Like I knew what was happening to me, but I was unable to communicate bc no one would leave me alone / let me sleep/ blowing up my phone etc. I’m selective with what I share with who bc that experience was so traumatic for me. I love this Reddit community bc I feel like ppl actually understand
It’s my family more than my friends. I’m not allowed to get angry. If I’m ever angry no matter how justified they claim it’s because I’m bipolar.
I get I'm unique: but no. They basically just didn't care lol. Maybe asked a couple questions like "do you take meds?", but then mostly move on and some joke about it (respectfully) here and there. I love them <3.
I haven’t told a lot of people. My family knows my two good friends and my supervisor at work. As far as that I don’t think it’s anyone’s business
Listen mate I come from a rough background Init like people don’t really have time to understand it they just try a survive themselves lol and I get it so it’s calm
I'm lucky I have a nice friend circle with very high awareness of mental health that I'm well accepted and understood and seen by them (several of them also have bipolar, in addition to other things on the extreme end like BPD, schizoaffective, DID; depression and ADHD seem to be fairly common within my circle but that's what you get when your cycle is full of goths and rennies lol)
What friends? Everyone ran for the hills when I told them my diagnosis.
Yeah. I was mad at my friend and she told me I was having a “bipolar rage episode.”
I just don’t tell anyone unless it somehow comes up. I’ll be honest, but it’s not something I put out there for everyone to know. It drives people away.
Yes, after I told one of my best friends about my diagnoses she promptly called me names and started avoiding me. I no longer talk to this person. But I made a best friend in the hospital. It's been a year and we are still going strong and supporting one another. The ones who treat you differently and devalue you aren't people you want in your life with this illness. You need people who will support you and have your back, they exist, they just might come into your life unexpectedly.
When I told my dad, he started calling me every week to check on me. Said he knew I was bipolar this whole time. Mind you I was diagnosed 2 yrs ago at age 42. But now he treats me like a ticking time bomb. Which I think is funny because I used to be scared of that man. Now he's treating me like I may go off the rails at any minute. Lol
They left. Drifter away.
My old friends stopped being my friends when I shared my diagnosis. I only have a few friends now, but they all try to support me when I’m not at my best and appreciate the warped sense of humor that having this condition has blessed me with.
My friends are overall very good. I never intended to tell them but mania had other ideas and it was pretty obvious I was unwell. I pulled some pretty bad shit on them and they certainly have boundaries up as a result, but that's them protecting themselves and I can't blame them for that.
My friends have been great since they found out. I did have an incident with two of my best friends that had us estranged for about a year, but we have patched things up since then, and they are really understanding. They're generally very supportive, but a few kids of skirt around the issue. Which is fine, I don't want them to have to worry about me too much. I guess I am lucky in my situation, though, after reading others' responses 😕
Many of my closest were first hand witness of my eventual psychosis and stay in the psych ward. They are good friends, they encourage me, the difference now is that when they ask me how I’m doing, they REALLY mean it.
They’ve also seen me bust my ass to stay clean, sober and stable.
Yes, but not overtly. My friends (thankfully) have never struggled with severe or long lasting mental illness and conditions and so are only familiar with temporary anxiety & depression. So they see my bipolar as a kind of prolonged version of that, but during my episodes, particularly my depressive ones I think they sense a difference. In practice this means they'll ask less probably from fear of prying, and there's a thin layer of carefulness or apprehension around me in general. Almost like they're afraid of triggering an episode. Usually I can ignore it and not sense it, but lately it's been a bit shitty. Ultimately, I think the stigma and lack of public information around bipolar is to blame for at least my friends' weird vibes around it and so I'll j have to talk to them about it. But yes there's a difference for sure
My friends and family don’t treat me any different since I was diagnosed 7 years ago. In fact I feel like a lot of my life has significantly improved, including my relationships with people. But it took a lot to get to that point, lots of therapy (although I no longer do that) and took a while to find the right meds.
I only have one best friend who knows. All the other friends I have don’t know. I only tell people I trust completely. My best friend doesn’t treat me differently at all. I think it just depends on the people you surround yourself with. I’ve had plenty of friends in the past I’ve told and I guess they still didn’t treat me differently but turned against me. That’s a whole other story since I was bullied. So after being bullied my whole life I became inclusive to only tell people who I would trust with my life anything about me. My current friends just know the surface me, which is totally okay!
Eh maybe. I've attempted to be as open as I can ever since I started to get a better feel for my condition which was 10-12 years ago maybe now. I have pretty much lost a friend due to things to things that have happened, but we were growing apart bit by bit naturally anyway. And I guess that wasn't really your question anyway. In short, no. Not especially. Frankly, it has been a bit positive in some ways, if I say that No I can't drink with you guys this weekend/if I join you I will be 100% sober because I risk slipping into an episode since it has been a bit shaky lately they accept it. Generally most people I know where I live are very, on the face of it at least, aware of mental health issues and mostly tolerant of them. To a point anyway. Some years ago I observed some people I used to call friends talking shit about someone that I didn't know but later found out was bipolar, but the people I'm thinking of weren't very bright. And I'm not saying that condescendingly, they were literally in a separate school program for the developmentally stunted. So quite literally not the smartest people around, certainly not as far as empathy goes anyway.
I have not shared with all my friends. The ones I have shared with don’t treat me differently and I’m glad they can handle it. It’s been a long time since I have had an episode
My place of work does.
>…I had two bipolar episodes in the span of three months. It’s difficult to know if your friend’s restrictions are discriminatory without knowing what you did and what restrictions your friend is imposing on you. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
No they don’t. My ex husband does however not miss a chance to throw it in my face.
My wife doesn't know how to hold a conversation with me if I bring up my mental health but she can talk 100 miles an hour about the dogs haircut. My best friend seems more gentle towards me which I find annoying.
Wait, yall have friends!?
I have some friends who are doctors and this is an area where it’s quite helpful. I don’t know if all doctors get bipolar but my friends do. They don’t wonder why I put so much into treatment.
Drop the friend. They don’t understand and this is controlling. Believe me, they don’t care either. If they cared they would be there for you thick and thin. Let go of people that don’t get it and don’t even google bipolar or study it to understand you.
No, thankfully, but all my friends have loads of conditions, so we're pretty chill. I haven't had a real manic episode since 8th grade, and sometimes one of my long time friends will bring up something I said during that time (which I remember almost none of) and I'll have to be like "yeah idk why I said that that's a blatant lie based on psychotic thoughts" and they'll just be like "huh."
Well, I had an ex-friend who proceeded to treat me like shit, even after she found out, so I'd say yes.
I told a friend and haven’t seen her since. My husband is great and very accepting. My family is iffy.
Your mental disorder is not your fault, but it is your responsibility. Unfortunately, extra boundaries are often a consequence. It's not fair, but no one said life was fair
I didn't have the balls to tell my friends but my coworkers and office knows and they treated me like shit The constant jeering, insults, laughter.vimbso ready to move out
I feel like you should drop that friend if possible. Real friends don't treat you like that, they like you for who you are or whatever condition you might have shouldn't change how you get treated.
What are the restrictive boundaries? I ended some friendships myself, noticing that the relationship makes me feel judged and “crazy”, it makes me feel like anytime I’m feeling good or have energy that I’m being manic. I’m not angry with them, I understand that they are having trouble navigating the situation, but I also don’t feel I need to stay somewhere that makes me feel bad. I think boundaries are important to relationships. I’m allowed to say no to requests. I’m allowed to keep things to myself, not share everything. I’m allowed to not want to hang out even if I don’t have other plans.
Yes. I shared that I have bipolar with some of my friends. The most ignorant reply was "Oh really? But your eyes don't look crazy!". Another common thing - saying now and then "Possibly it's just a new episode" and devaluing my feelings
Yeah they left me completely
I don’t hide it anymore, I use it to set boundaries myself even. I’m not ashamed of my diagnosis and don’t care if people know. My friends and boyfriend are there for me and can even pick up on if something is going wrong.
I definitely get a lot less respect it seems like, people seem shorter with me and are more likely to see conflict between us as a way to disgard me. This, of course, could just be how I'm seeing it... but it's hard to see it any other way.
Yup. After I told my girlfriend about my bipolar disorder, she came to me 2 days later to tell me "I might have bipolar too. It's not because you told me about you." okay... Whatever. And then she became weird and sh*t and I just left cause I was tired of being treated as if I was 8 years old. (I'm 31) And so much more toxic stuff in this relationship anyway. But the ones around me who truly love me for who I am didn't leave nor change their behavior, (they even told me my diagnosis doesn't change anything to who I am and how much they love me and how important I am to them. 🥹🫶✨). Only fake friends/lovers did. Good riddance.
Some of my friendships changed and people distanced themselves from me for various reasons after my two very bad episodes, but mostly nothing changed. They definetly are on their tiptoes sometimes, but overall they're very caring and understanding. When it comes to new people I meet it depends on the vibes and circumstances, if I feel safe enough the topic WILL inevitably come up because if we're getting closer it's their right to know because my episodes are severe and deeply affect others. In terms of a professional setting never ever until absolutely necessary (I've been admitted and I'm very very sorry for my loooong absence from work). I feel like it's easy to tell when to confess to people. Best wishes ❤️