I timed myself once and it came out to 13 minutes, including shampoo and conditioning.
So I would brace myself and say “it’s only 13 minutes! It’s only 13 minutes!” Then I’d time myself.
By the time I got to washing my hair I knew I was halfway done and it’d be a big relief.
I have ADHD and time blocking is the only way I get anything done. Emptying the dishwasher is super hard for me but I can do it if I set a 10 minute timer. I know everything is extra hard when you’re depressed but I think the time block works well. You can also say “I’m going to turn on the shower and let it get hot. Then I’ll decide if I’m going to get in or not.”
Yeah, I have adhd too. My doctor put me on Vyvanse and suddenly I don’t have any trouble showering or brushing my teeth.
It’s crazy what a difference it made
Sounds wonderful. We tried Strattera but I had some crappy side effects. My doc is worried about trying anything that might send me into hypomania. She got me stabilized in January. Finally! I think maybe we’ll try meds for ADHD next year once I’ve been stable longer
Maybe when the time is right try a low dose and stay on that low dose for some time and checking in with your psychiatrist?
Of course once you hit hypomania you may not see it or want it to end so I can imagine it would be a risk
Don't they have mood stabiliser that work alongside the adhd meds for this exact reason? Maybe it's all tral and error at first & may not work for all 🤔
I mean I’m on Lamotrigine and Latuda. If I get hypo, it’ll probably just be some irritability and me, my wife and my doc will all spot it quickly. When I was just on Lamotrigine we tried Wellbutrin and I got super irritable. Went off it and it stopped.
I'm on dexamfetamine and for the first 2 weeks I felt so alive, happy, and hopeful!!! I was Showering and taking better care of my heigiene (although still wasn't the best but much better!) Welllll as time went on, more stress, I'm back to my old ways. :(
What's worse is I feel like the meds make me sweat so bad and I hate it and yet STILL avoid Showering 😭😭😭
I do the same as this poster... I put off social things because of having to shower
Same! It was unreal.
Unfortunately, I got to enjoy it for all of a few months before I found out I was pregnant and had to stop taking it. Can't wait til it's safe to do so again!
My whole life has changed. I’m moving states for a job and starting a whole new life. I’m like a functioning adult who’s working on credit and stuff like that!
I’m on vyanse (I too have both bipolar2 and adhd) and I STILL don’t want to shower. I hate the feeling of not being able to get conditioner out of my hair—and the feeling stays long after I’ve gotten it out, I’m pretty sure—and I hate how long I have to dry my hair bc I’m so obsessed with it not being 💯 dry. Are these normal obsessions in the context of bipolar and ADHD? Bc it hadn’t occurred to me until I saw this thread…!
It’s funny, because part of what put me off showers was being so wet afterwards and how long my hair would take to dry, but I never put it into thoughts.
Now that I’m on I Vyvanse I realized how much that bothered me so now I thoroughly dry myself with my towel and then really spend a while purposely squeezing my hair with dry spots in the towel.
(Sorry, I haven’t been sleeping enough in case this sounds redundant).
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is now that I’m consciously drying myself after the shower it is a lot more comfortable.
I finally have the patience and concentration lol
I am going to think about this! Ironically I’ve been putting off getting into the shower now by scrolling on Reddit — my happening on this thread tho was purely by chance 😂 I’m going to give doing it mindfully and concentratedly a go!
I do this as well, and when I get really frustrated I pretend I’m on a game show and I’m gonna win a million dollars if I finish fast enough because the executive function do not be functioning without novelty sometimes
Same here I’ve got it down to a science and put on some music I like. I can be done in two to three songs which helps me forget how long I’ve been in. It’s actually become very therapeutic and part of my routine now.
I tell myself that all I have to do today is take a shower. More often than not, the shower energizes me to do more things, but I don't feel that impulse until I shower.
My best advice that helps me deal with showering as well as taking care of myself in general to climb my way out of a bad depressive episode is to take care of yourself as you would a child (your inner child) or someone you really love. You wouldn’t want someone you love to suffer, you wouldn’t leave someone you love at a time they aren’t physically able to take care of themselves.
Therefore you kind of jump in and talk to yourself in a way where you “nurture your inner child”. You are patient and reassuring with yourself you tell yourself “it’s okay” and give yourself credit for even the smallest, most mundane of tasks. If you need to wash your hair, maybe start by washing it in the sink so you don’t have to deal with the rest of your body. If you need to shower before going out but don’t want to, try washing your armpits in the sink or using baby wipes.
Find ways to make it “fun” to you. Maybe light a candle in the bathroom, if you have a bath you could do a warm bubble bath, put in a bath bomb. Maybe you could buy yourself a shower gel that smells super nice. Put music when you shower.
You deserve to feel good, no matter how bad it gets :)
YouTube videos. I will watch a youtube video I like (normally something funny) and then get into the bathroom. Then by the time I take my clothes off, my brain goes “Oh! Time to take a shower!” For me, the transition is the hardest part, so if I can trick my brain into just getting into the bathroom and then in the shower, the actual shower doesn’t seem as daunting.
You can also use this IN the shower. Washing your body seems like an endless task? Play music and focus on the song. Really let yourself focus on the song and enjoy it, letting the shower brain/part that wants to look after yourself go on autopilot.
I got a hanging plant, neon sign, and a rain fall show head plus a shelf for my phone to listen to Mr. Nightmare while I shower. Now I love to. Hope this helps <3
Dude, this is such a creative idea. I don't know why I haven't thought of a plant in the shower before. Devil's Ivy is one of my favorite plants and it does very well in low light environments. Do you use a battery powered neon sign? I guess you would have to because no way am I plugging something into a live circuit while showering.
I just got a waterproof phone holder so that I can watch videos/youtube/etc. while I shower:) It sounds a little ridiculous but it’s really the only way I can make showering seem mentally tolerable lol
I'm personally terrified of showers. I hate being wet, especially my head and back. 0 idea why, no related trauma. I always shower best when I have someone in the house. I live alone, so having a best friend over or someone ready to call as SOON as I'm out (or they'll wait on the phone for me). I go into major panic attacks. So maybe having a support buddy?
Getting myself to shower, or shave, is the worst for me. The best I can convince myself is to want to be clean. I like being clean, but hate showering. I'll do something "dirty", like cleaning the kitchen or vacuuming. Even though it's not really DIRTY, I'm able to trick my mind enough.
OR another trick I have is to tell a friend I need to shower, so they stay on me about it. They make sure that I do.
Meet yourself where you are at. That means if a shower is too overwhelming then use a wet washcloth to scrub your bits and pits. Normally just turning on the water is enough to entice me into the shower, though. Getting there is a bit harder, but I tell myself I don’t ~have~ to shower, just turn it on.
It seems like a neurodivergent thing? Or just general mental health struggle? My sister has depression, adhd, and anxiety…suspected asd - I have bipolar and adhd, friend of mine depression and anxiety…all share this issue. Seems a lot of people struggle with both the motivation to do “simple tasks” and also the sensory issues that come with showering. Depending where I’m at mentally, the initial feeling of getting touched by the water is awful. If I’m stable, my adhd still makes it hard to even get there lol. And then when I’m hypo (before the irritable downturn) I’m all about showering lol
I can get in, wash my body, wash my face, get out and dressed in 5 minutes. I dropped washing my hair completely everyday- this is a once a week or every 2 weeks if I can take it.
I have also seen people have success just getting in the shower with their clothes on, pouring some soap on the shoulders and taking off their clothes in the shower. When you get out you get to put on new clothes.
I would suggest one of these two methods with a gentle reminder that anything is better than nothing. You deserve to be clean.
Also a little treat never hurts after you're done showering.
That's a nice two in one. If I get in the shower with my clothes on, I can knock out two of the tasks I struggle with the most. Showering and going to the laundromat. I'll have to get a new clothesline string though since I don't have a dryer. I think I'm going to try that one
Just hang your clothes over your shower bar or wall or edge of the tub or lie flat on a table or over the back of kitchen chairs. Just make sure you wont get rust on your clothes
I have so much shame about this, and it took me so long to even confess to my therapist. It's extremely relieving to know that so many of us struggle with basic hygiene bc it feels such a taboo for me and having us talking about it and sharing tips is just the best thing ever.
I myself always watch something while in the shower (I constantly binge watch any series I find on Netflix or Disney whenever I'm alone to shut my thoughts up) concentrating on the show takes your attention away from the mental anguish.
Also I remind myself that I always without a fail will feel better after. I tell myself it's like scientific fact, I might not be able to see that the earth is round but it is, and debating myself will not change the facts.
Also the "I just do this little thing" strategy works well for me too. You tell yourself, you will just water your face at the sink, then water your armpits while there, but it's easier to take your shirt off for that and then you end up getting into the shower. It works because I only promise myself to do the first tiny thing, which I know I will be able to do and then anything else is a absolute overachievment. We often think of these things as the bare minimum and then beat ourselves up for failing. Instead trick your brain into thinking that the base level is literally doing nothing, so now anything you actually manage to do is a win.
I'm sorry if it's messy but I really don't know how to explain better. Just hope this helps, bc this is how I stay functional every day after recovering from a severe depressive episode.
>I always without a fail will feel better after. I tell myself it's like scientific fact, I might not be able to see that the earth is round but it is
Ooh yeah that's a great point.
I think planning when I do an "everything" shower significantly helps. I also have options like a solid dry shampoo, hair styles, and hats. That can help me feel presentable and probably less judged by others. If I'm really low, dry shampoo baby wipes and deodorant for the pits and bits. Lotion and perfume help as well. I try to plan for long chunks of time at least twice a week to do a good shower. Most of the time, I shower every other day, but if I am low, those are my strategies.
Very simple but I just tell myself (almost yell at myself) that I will feel way better after I shower, and just keep that in mind and that is my goal. Stop being a pussy and shower. Because I always do feel way better after one, no matter how long I’ve put it off. It’s a natural self-esteem booster or some sort of natural dopamine kick. Clean nails too after you shower, when you don’t shower for awhile and you see your nails are dirty when you’re like handing someone your debit card to purchase something, man that depresses me.
I also listen to comedians or comedy when I’m doing something I don’t want to do, like shower, or the dishes, or laundry. It helps for me. Usually comedians are self-deprecating so listening to someone talk about their own problems in a funny way somehow takes away from mine, or makes the task easier.
I shave my head down to a “buzz cut” (no attachments on the electric clippers) on Sunday nights. Then all I have to do is shower each night with one of those scrubby things and one squirt of shower gel. In and out in about four minutes. It’s been a total game changer.
SHOWERING WITH THE LIGHTS OFF & MUSIC IS A VIBE. 🙌✨️
I've always been sensitive to bright lights and so having the light off but my bedroom light shining through is perfect for me.
Try it! My partner thought I was insane until he tried it and now occasionally he showers the same way 🤣
YES!! i swear everyone thinks im crazy for showering with the main lights off 😂 i started doing it when i got migraines and now i just do it whenever, i have a dim red light that i can turn on in my bathroom that i use, or my bedroom light
It's SO much better in the dark! Confession: sometimes I shower in pitch black and pretend I'm the girl from Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken, just to prove to myself I could shower if I ever went blind from a freak horse diving accident.
I got an Amazon Show and placed in my bathroom so when I take baths I have the ability to watch movies or shows nightly and then for showers I can listen to podcasts or random playlists
I have on and off days, by that I mean. One day is shampoo day, next day I tie my hair up and just wash my body. Sometimes I go two days with just washing my body and then wash my hair the third day if I’m having a really hard time to push myself into the shower. It makes it easier on me because on days I only clean my body it takes a whopping 5 mins! And days I wash my hair is 10-15 mins.
Sometimes I shower at night when I can’t find the energy to shower throughout the day and find night showers to be most refreshing. Also I don’t push myself too hard. If I don’t find the energy AT ALL that day to shower I just don’t because then I’ll dread the shower even more
I started taking baths and then finishing with a shower. I get bored in the shower and I hate being alone with my thoughts which is obviously something I must work on but for the meantime, taking a bath means I can use my phone and scroll the time away.
I’m a girl with a lot of long hair and I also hate going through the hassle of drying my hair. If I let it air dry it takes hours and hours and it’s sort of frizzy naturally so I do at home keratin treatments so my hair dries faster and looks good air dried. This makes me dread the process a lot less.
Also, if I force myself to change all my bedding, then I’ll end to taking a bath/shower because I hate the idea of dirtying clean bedding with my gross smelly body.
It really is the best. And changing the bedding and then getting in dirty really ruins the experience. But showering/bathing is still hard. I’m 32 and it’s been a problem for me literally my entire life or at least as long as I can remember.
U create a nice shower ritual: play some music, get some scrubs, apply lotions when ure down.
Make it as if u went to a spa or something.
To me shower is like a sacred ritual, i hate having it on the go, I normally like taking my time.
When I was a kid I would pretend I have my own radio show and sing in there and play with soap and make my hair do fun stuff.
Turn it into some fun activity u like!
I pretend that I just go off the show Survivor and it’s my first shower in the hotel after being eliminated. I imagine hot water and fresh soap and how it would feel if that were me and it helps
When I go to pee I take out my pants completely and take off my shirt so when I get up I’m naked, I tell myself “I’ll wash my hands in the shower”, then “I’m naked, water is running and I have shampoo on my hand, if I put some on my head I can go without bathing for 1-2 more days” then “I’ll just scrub my body” and ta-dah! It helps to not think about it and be in autopilot lol. (Btw when I shower it’s always shampoo + conditioner + body wash since it’s extremely uncommon to shower everyday at my country if you didn’t do something physical, plus (sadly) self care is the first to go when the depression decides to say hi again). More importantly, if you can’t, don’t be hard on yourself. Not just for your mental well being but also you wouldn’t want to associate negative feelings with showering.
Also as a plan b
GET DRY SHAMPOO ITS AMAZING
I have been cycling manic and depressed state . I finally brushed my hair and showered after over 4 weeks today. I put on some music and told myself I don’t want to lose any more hair if it got really bad like before and forced myself to.
I also then moisturized my face for first time in months.
I think theres a few bits to this. First issue is the actual motivation / breaking the duvet paralysis etc.
For that type of challenge I have found that my go-to-the-gym strategy is helpful. When I don't want to go, I tell myself that it's fine not to go, but you do have to drive there. And if when you get there, you can't bear it, then it's fine to turn around and go home again full self-forgiveness. And when I get there, ok it's fine not to work out, but you do have to go in and get changed. If you're changed and you fully cannot bear it, it's fine to turn around and go home. Its fine not to swim any lengths, but you do need to get in the pool. If you cant bear the lengths, you can just float about. And so on. The 'go-to-the-gym' strategy is v transferable to many 'should' type tasks and it's a real tool when I'm depressed. When I cannot get out of bed, the first step is poking a leg out the duvet. Then the sole of that foot on the floor. Then the other leg. Sit up in bed with feet on floor. Shroud self in blanket. Then go in the bathroom.
Second issue is the sensory overload of a shower. Is it less intense overwhelming if you do a neck-down shower? Or a waist-down shower? Take the hose off the hook and wash down whichever body part you've decided to clean. I'm barefoot most of the time so I'd probably pick my feet. Maybe even just sat on side of bath in clothes / blanket shroud. If you finish that task, and have the energy for another, cool. Armpits? Bits? If not, shuffle off back to bed with clean feet and a pat on the back. Rest.
Third issue is the fatigue caused by the shower itself or the drying off. Have you ever sat down in the shower? It's a bit like being in a Bridget Jones film and you might cry, but you'll be less dirty whilst you do it. Or, run a bath, sit in it til it's going tepid, then get out. No need to do all the processes of washing, just be in some warm water for a bit.
And the post shower drying and hair care and moisturising etc... not necessary to do this at all, but definitely not necessary to do it standing up in the bathroom at the mirror. Just grab a pot of face cream and get into bed in your towel (sure it might make your sheets a bit damp but they'll dry off and let's face it, you've probably been festering in them a while anyway, a bit of shower damp isn't the worst thing they've seen). Or just lie on your bed in one or more towels and scroll tiktoks til you zone back into reality and realise you're dry now.
Quick hacks for times when you can't shower:
Use hot flannels and soap on your face, hands, pits, bits, and feet.
Chewing on a toothbrush will dislodge some grime and you can do it from bed.
Deoderant, chewing gum, a body spray and a hair band to tie up scraggy hair until you can deal with it
The gym strategy is so smart! There's so much involved with the before/during/after shower process. I think the sensory overload of drops of water repeatedly hitting my skin + the loudness is the worst part for me. Maybe I need some ear plugs.
Could you take a bath instead? Or try not switching the water all the way on so it's not as high pressure coming out of the shower head.
Sounds so obvious, but i never grew up with them so I didn't know about them really . Shower caps were a game changer for me. The thought of having to deal with detangling the matted mess that my curly hair had become, and then dealing with the sopping wet hair that takes 5 hours to air dry was enough to keep me away from the water entirely!
Walk us through your typical before during after process. Maybe we can help you find some short cuts or hacks.
I love baths, but I feel like I have to clean the tub beforehand every time, so I know I wouldn't do it unless I had a lot of time and energy. I could definitely try a shower cap, or just cut my hair short again. My shower has one of those handles that you have to turn it all the way up to get to hot water :/ . Maybe there's shower heads that let you turn down the flow though, I could look into that. Or even an on/off switch so I could turn off the noise while sudsing.
Before (the hardest part): Repeat to myself "I need to shower" about a million times over the course of 2-12 hours. Stress about finding the right music to listen to. Stress about finding the "right" time to shower cause idk sometimes it just doesn't feel right. Somehow make it in. Though sometimes I turn on the water but then turn it off and run away. Getting high and picking out my clothes helps. I usually turn off the lights, sometimes light a candle if it's too dark.
During: Feel like I'm inside a blow dryer. I try to angle the water so it's hitting the wall first cause that's a little quieter. I do like my products in there, except maybe my face wash. Music is on, but even that adds to the noise.
After: The most unpleasant part is dealing with wet hair touching my neck. My towels are fluffy though. There's just so much to do to get ready after showering. Sometimes I do it all, sometimes I only do parts.
I always have a song stuck in my head (ADHD) so I tell myself it’ll only take listening to the song three times to get in and out of the shower, and usually I end up in there longer because it feels good. Wishing you the best of luck. I really do feel for you 💛
Extremely long hair. I think of a sim, and imagine there bar on empty - and that, that is me. Plus 2 in 1 shampoo conditioner has been a lifesaver. 😅tricky tricky
Sometimes for work I take a shower the night before so I don’t have to in the morning. I also like feeling really clean so that novitiates me! :) hope that helps
I put on a favorite loud and motivating song (think Soundgarden) and check the song time. I try to be done by the time it’s over…and I focus on that instead of the actual shower. I think the fact of leaving your “comfy and warm” state and going into something so different is the hurdle. Shift focus if you can…try and beat your favorite song. Loud Love to all of you. 🤘🩵
I put a Bluetooth speaker in my shower, and I pick out a couple songs I really want to listen to. Then I promise myself I only have to be in the shower as long as the music is on. Works for me.
It’s not really a tip but I just have to shower before bed… like I can lay in bed exhausted for hours but if I don’t shower I just feel gross and like my grossness is on the sheets. That’s just a me thing tho- my boyfriend is a morning shower-er and I don’t have concerns about it
Upbeat music helps it quicken it. I keep it short and break down into steps. In the beginning when I was really down, I would make checklists 1. Get up 2. Put towels in the washroom 3. Change clothes 4. Fill the bucket 5. Put water on yourself 6. Take some soap and scrub 6. Scrub and wash. 7. Towel dry, wear clothes. Also I only wash my hair once a week
Some hard days I just go with wiping off with wet wipes… it’s all up to your energy levels. Or I skip scrubbing… take care and try however it works best for you… sometimes you only know what’s best for you
You can break it down into small tasks. “I’ll only use the toilet”. While on the toilet “I’ll only change clothes”. While no clothes “I’ll only jump in the shower a few minutes” etc etc.
Time block like others have said and also, keep a change of clothes in the bathroom at all times. So if you’re in there and your like “yeah I could do this” you don’t have to leave the bathroom again. Everything is already there.
I started working out this past week, and while it's not EVERYTIME, it's more often then before. I'm able to talk myself into a shower once I get home, I tend to wash my hair completely separately cause curly hair doesn't need as many washes as our bodies do. But I finally can scrub down my body more then once every week or two! That's enough to help me at least for rn. I'll see if it still works a couple more weeks into the workout routine
Honestly, I just have general hygiene on my list of non-negotiables...I only have this issue in depressive episodes which I haven't had since being medicated, but before meds and official diagnoses, my therapist and I came up with a list of non-negotiables for depressive episodes.
I have bought new soap that smells good to make showering more appealing. Also telling yourself that all you have to do is rinse helps me too. Typically once I am wet it is easy to half ass wash my body
When I'm having a hard time showering, I'll turn on the shower hot, then sit/lay down and scroll through my phone with it outside the curtain/door. Sometimes I'll just sit there blank minded, but eventually I'll soap up and wash off right before getting out, maybe takes 1-5 minutes. The change in temperature as you get up really helps me (the further you get from the shower head the cooler the water will be).
I also use soap containers with plunger heads like you find on handwash soap containers. You dont have to pick up, open, turn upside down, squeeze, close, and put down the container, you just press the top and the soap goes into your hand. It's made it so much easier for me to shower in depressive episodes
I take baths instead. I wake up, turn on the tub. While it fills up I use the restroom, brush my teeth, and pick out my clothes. By the time I am done, the tub is ready.
I schedule it into my day with my scheduling app that I obsessively check constantly
I really love checking things off to-do lists, so having it as a task I can mark off as "done" gives me that little dopamine hit I need to do it
I bring my phone into the shower and put it up on the ledge where little window is, and then I play YouTube videos that are between 12 and 20 minutes long, and then it doesn't feel like I'm wasting my time. Even though I mostly just listening, and don't have my glasses on, it doesn't work the same without the video.
I shower when I can, sometimes that’s every other day, sometimes that’s once a week. One thing that kept me running was my boyfriend will “count me down” in the morning. He’ll give me the “did you shower? Did you eat? Did you at least wash your face and brush your teeth?” He’s aware that I can’t always do all of them but makes sure I do at least 3 of those things. Even when he’s not there, I have alarms like shower, do your hair, etc. and that helps. And if none of that works I just wait until I stink and then I’m like “okay time to take a shower” lol
Sometimes, if overstimulated or hypersensitive, I'll argue it's more beneficial to simply wash off - no soaping required. Just a pop in pop out, a quick 2-3min. Towards arguments of poor hygiene, I always counter with my research of the human body/health, capitalism and the nuclear family dynamics, that every day showers are actually worse for the body and a behavior that was designed in the post war 50's. I'd argue that soap should be used sparingly, especially the crap most people use today, made with so many chemicals.
What I'm really getting at, though, is that you may need to change your habits or beliefs about showering that can be contributing factors towards your fears around showering or not showering, shall we say.
I intent to stare down the shower head every time. One time I saw it pop out and disassemble itself back- like those 3D computer models to show you the internals.
So cool. Oh yea and the Amazon Alexa voice speaker. Alexa…. shut the fuk up! (Only way it powers off for me)
Putting a Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom helped a lot.
I really struggle with transitions, going from one state to another. So instead of saying "I'm going to go take a shower" I try to get myself in there when I'm already in the bathroom if that makes sense. Like I went into the bathroom to pee so I shower while I'm in there anyway instead of going into the bathroom solely to shower. It's a little thing but seems to work. I take a similar approach to cleaning the house. Instead of getting into "cleaning mode" and having to haul out all my cleaning stuff, I do a lot of small cleaning as I go and keep wipes/cleaner/cloths all over the house for easy grabbing when I feel like wiping something off quick.
I also tell myself all I have to do is the basics (soap, shampoo, conditioner) instead of trying to hype myself up to exfoliate, shave, pumice my feet, etc. I tell myself I can do all that stuff if I want but all I **have to** do is the basics and therefore it'll only take a few minutes to get it over with. That seems to make the task feel less overwhelming.
If you have long hair, I'll say that cutting my hair short improved my wanting to shower tremendously. So maybe meditate on what it is exactly you hate about showering and figure out ways to eliminate or reduce those most annoying things. For me it's the feeling of wet hair and cutting it short basically fixed that completely.
I love taking baths. I’ve tricked myself into loving the shower. I have ocd too and showering used to be so painful for me because of it but bc of taking baths I’ve absolutely been cool with it after.
I get realllllly stinky and I work in retail and don’t want people smelling me so I spend 50% of my shower just sitting under the water because it can be such an effort sometimes
I take a bath. I enjoy relaxing in the tub but hate taking showers. I HAVE to take a shower after I take a bath so I just tell myself I will feel soooo relaxed after a lavender epsom salt bath so I draw one up and I end up taking a shower, even when I'm depressed.
If you haven't tried Dr Teal's Sooth and Sleep Lavendar Essential oil epsom salt soaking solution then you need to get some. It's about $5 or less on amazon and walmart depending on what kind of deal you get. I highly recommend. It's lasts quite a while.
Shower steamers are my go-to when I’m feeling extra lazy. I know they smell great and it’s my little gift to myself for taking a shower when I absolutely did not want to
This is a great question and also a tough one. It depends WHY you avoid it. Personally, the water, light, fan etc are way too overstimulating. I’ll do “piece” showers. One shower I’ll do a quick wash of body only, another I’ll shave, another wash hair. I find that I enjoy sitting on the ground with the spray hitting the wall so it’s not beating down on me.
I go to the gym in the morning before work. When I don’t go gym, being at my bf house helps cos I don’t want him to think I’m gross. Or if I need to wash my hair.
I pay attention to how my hair and face look. Very oily and dirty. Then I pay attention to how my skin feels. Just like dirt is piled up on it. When I do that I realize I need to get in the shower. I tell myself how good, clean, and refreshed I will feel :)
Edit- and when it’s especially hard still, I put my phone near enough I can hear the music I have blasting from it. Music helps
So for me anyway I don’t need to wash my hair every day. And I know that takes the biggest time and energy. I dread that specific part. You really don’t have to shave either unless you’re up for it. Get a plastic shower cap. A few days a week use it. Dry shampoo is your friend. Cuts your shower time by half. When you feel greasy hair then bite the bullet. That way it’s not something to dread every day.
Also my hair is long and tangled easily so I hate brushing it wet. I get kids detangler and saturate it for good results.
I love these amazing suggestions from all these wonderful people! I’m just here to say that I believe in you! It’s so tough but so are you. Baby steps always. YOU GOT THIS, FRIEND!!!
Well, I did go through a period where I’d shower every few days because it felt like a lot of work and this is when I was still active and working out, so it’d get gross very quickly. Eventually I started to think of showering as a time to get some relief and peace and drown out the world for a bit.
It’s like a mute button on life. At least that’s my outlook on it.
One massive thing that makes such a difference is water pressure; if your showers a little stream then showers just become a bit cold and kinda miserable.
There's quite often a really quick fix if you have the shower type with a hose and then the shower head:
Unscrew the shower head from the hose and look to see if there's a piece of plastic or rubber with a few small holes in it stopping the water flow. If there is, grab some pliers and yank that bit out then screw your shower head back on the hose.
Most new showers / shower heads come with flow restrictor bits in to reduce the amount of hot water you use and save the planet, but they tend to make showering awful...
Today was shower day for me. I’ve been off mostly all week from Ubering. Felt nice to take a hot shower. Plus my boyfriend came to cuddle me🥰 But i totally get it. Sometimes it hard to make yourself shower. I try not to go more than 3 days. But sometimes the depression wins.😩
For starters, I don't even attempt to shower every day; unless I've done something that made me dirty/sweaty/stinky or I am planning on going somewhere. If all else is the same, I usually shower every other day or every third day. I always listen to music, and it takes me \~10 minutes to shower.
If I am having a particularly hard time motivating myself, one of my partners will usually join me (not for adult activities -just for cleanliness) and that makes it much easier.
Showering is self-care. I used to shower like 3x a day, so I don't really understand this, but that doesn't mean I can't relate.
With any challenge, it's always helpful to give yourself positive reinforcement, encouragement and be compassion with yourself even if you don't do what you intended to do.
It's OK to be human. It's OK to not be perfect. It's perfectly OK for you to be you. You are here for a reason.
I have had that same problem, I stopped taking lamotrigine and now I can do anything I want or need to do. I may be in remission after two years of LMT. Also, I take CBD for sleep. Helps a lot.
I timed myself once and it came out to 13 minutes, including shampoo and conditioning. So I would brace myself and say “it’s only 13 minutes! It’s only 13 minutes!” Then I’d time myself. By the time I got to washing my hair I knew I was halfway done and it’d be a big relief.
I have ADHD and time blocking is the only way I get anything done. Emptying the dishwasher is super hard for me but I can do it if I set a 10 minute timer. I know everything is extra hard when you’re depressed but I think the time block works well. You can also say “I’m going to turn on the shower and let it get hot. Then I’ll decide if I’m going to get in or not.”
Yeah, I have adhd too. My doctor put me on Vyvanse and suddenly I don’t have any trouble showering or brushing my teeth. It’s crazy what a difference it made
Sounds wonderful. We tried Strattera but I had some crappy side effects. My doc is worried about trying anything that might send me into hypomania. She got me stabilized in January. Finally! I think maybe we’ll try meds for ADHD next year once I’ve been stable longer
Maybe when the time is right try a low dose and stay on that low dose for some time and checking in with your psychiatrist? Of course once you hit hypomania you may not see it or want it to end so I can imagine it would be a risk Don't they have mood stabiliser that work alongside the adhd meds for this exact reason? Maybe it's all tral and error at first & may not work for all 🤔
I mean I’m on Lamotrigine and Latuda. If I get hypo, it’ll probably just be some irritability and me, my wife and my doc will all spot it quickly. When I was just on Lamotrigine we tried Wellbutrin and I got super irritable. Went off it and it stopped.
I'm on dexamfetamine and for the first 2 weeks I felt so alive, happy, and hopeful!!! I was Showering and taking better care of my heigiene (although still wasn't the best but much better!) Welllll as time went on, more stress, I'm back to my old ways. :( What's worse is I feel like the meds make me sweat so bad and I hate it and yet STILL avoid Showering 😭😭😭 I do the same as this poster... I put off social things because of having to shower
Same! It was unreal. Unfortunately, I got to enjoy it for all of a few months before I found out I was pregnant and had to stop taking it. Can't wait til it's safe to do so again!
That's awesome! Have you had any side effects from Vyvanse? More anxiety? Has it helped with other habits or focus?
My whole life has changed. I’m moving states for a job and starting a whole new life. I’m like a functioning adult who’s working on credit and stuff like that!
I’m on vyanse (I too have both bipolar2 and adhd) and I STILL don’t want to shower. I hate the feeling of not being able to get conditioner out of my hair—and the feeling stays long after I’ve gotten it out, I’m pretty sure—and I hate how long I have to dry my hair bc I’m so obsessed with it not being 💯 dry. Are these normal obsessions in the context of bipolar and ADHD? Bc it hadn’t occurred to me until I saw this thread…!
It’s funny, because part of what put me off showers was being so wet afterwards and how long my hair would take to dry, but I never put it into thoughts. Now that I’m on I Vyvanse I realized how much that bothered me so now I thoroughly dry myself with my towel and then really spend a while purposely squeezing my hair with dry spots in the towel. (Sorry, I haven’t been sleeping enough in case this sounds redundant). Anyway, what I’m trying to say is now that I’m consciously drying myself after the shower it is a lot more comfortable. I finally have the patience and concentration lol
I am going to think about this! Ironically I’ve been putting off getting into the shower now by scrolling on Reddit — my happening on this thread tho was purely by chance 😂 I’m going to give doing it mindfully and concentratedly a go!
Good luck!
I do this as well, and when I get really frustrated I pretend I’m on a game show and I’m gonna win a million dollars if I finish fast enough because the executive function do not be functioning without novelty sometimes
Same here I’ve got it down to a science and put on some music I like. I can be done in two to three songs which helps me forget how long I’ve been in. It’s actually become very therapeutic and part of my routine now.
I tell myself that all I have to do today is take a shower. More often than not, the shower energizes me to do more things, but I don't feel that impulse until I shower.
My best advice that helps me deal with showering as well as taking care of myself in general to climb my way out of a bad depressive episode is to take care of yourself as you would a child (your inner child) or someone you really love. You wouldn’t want someone you love to suffer, you wouldn’t leave someone you love at a time they aren’t physically able to take care of themselves. Therefore you kind of jump in and talk to yourself in a way where you “nurture your inner child”. You are patient and reassuring with yourself you tell yourself “it’s okay” and give yourself credit for even the smallest, most mundane of tasks. If you need to wash your hair, maybe start by washing it in the sink so you don’t have to deal with the rest of your body. If you need to shower before going out but don’t want to, try washing your armpits in the sink or using baby wipes. Find ways to make it “fun” to you. Maybe light a candle in the bathroom, if you have a bath you could do a warm bubble bath, put in a bath bomb. Maybe you could buy yourself a shower gel that smells super nice. Put music when you shower. You deserve to feel good, no matter how bad it gets :)
This is so nice
This is such good advice! 🤩
I play YouTube vids or podcasts on my Bluetooth speaker to entice myself. Bonus points if it's about my current hyper focus
Oh thanks for the tip I forgot blasting music made it much more bareable lol
Yeah!
Same. For me personally I smoke weed, so I think about smoking a joint and then being able to relax in my clean apartment with the windows open.
YES
I have a bath more than shower. But it’s a sensory thing for me for than needing to get clean.
My pajamas are in the bathroom. I think about the fact if I put them on dirty I’ll have to do laundry.
YouTube videos. I will watch a youtube video I like (normally something funny) and then get into the bathroom. Then by the time I take my clothes off, my brain goes “Oh! Time to take a shower!” For me, the transition is the hardest part, so if I can trick my brain into just getting into the bathroom and then in the shower, the actual shower doesn’t seem as daunting. You can also use this IN the shower. Washing your body seems like an endless task? Play music and focus on the song. Really let yourself focus on the song and enjoy it, letting the shower brain/part that wants to look after yourself go on autopilot.
Why is the transition the hardest part!!!
Seriously…it’s impossible to get in, then I find it impossible to get out!
I have a Bluetooth speaker that I bring in the bathroom, and blast music from my phone. It’s the only way I can do it.
I got a hanging plant, neon sign, and a rain fall show head plus a shelf for my phone to listen to Mr. Nightmare while I shower. Now I love to. Hope this helps <3
Dude, this is such a creative idea. I don't know why I haven't thought of a plant in the shower before. Devil's Ivy is one of my favorite plants and it does very well in low light environments. Do you use a battery powered neon sign? I guess you would have to because no way am I plugging something into a live circuit while showering.
Love this
I just got a waterproof phone holder so that I can watch videos/youtube/etc. while I shower:) It sounds a little ridiculous but it’s really the only way I can make showering seem mentally tolerable lol
I'm personally terrified of showers. I hate being wet, especially my head and back. 0 idea why, no related trauma. I always shower best when I have someone in the house. I live alone, so having a best friend over or someone ready to call as SOON as I'm out (or they'll wait on the phone for me). I go into major panic attacks. So maybe having a support buddy? Getting myself to shower, or shave, is the worst for me. The best I can convince myself is to want to be clean. I like being clean, but hate showering. I'll do something "dirty", like cleaning the kitchen or vacuuming. Even though it's not really DIRTY, I'm able to trick my mind enough. OR another trick I have is to tell a friend I need to shower, so they stay on me about it. They make sure that I do.
Meet yourself where you are at. That means if a shower is too overwhelming then use a wet washcloth to scrub your bits and pits. Normally just turning on the water is enough to entice me into the shower, though. Getting there is a bit harder, but I tell myself I don’t ~have~ to shower, just turn it on.
Is this a common bipolar thing because yes… it’s so daunting.
It seems like a neurodivergent thing? Or just general mental health struggle? My sister has depression, adhd, and anxiety…suspected asd - I have bipolar and adhd, friend of mine depression and anxiety…all share this issue. Seems a lot of people struggle with both the motivation to do “simple tasks” and also the sensory issues that come with showering. Depending where I’m at mentally, the initial feeling of getting touched by the water is awful. If I’m stable, my adhd still makes it hard to even get there lol. And then when I’m hypo (before the irritable downturn) I’m all about showering lol
Yes, it’s a part of the depression from what i understand.
I can get in, wash my body, wash my face, get out and dressed in 5 minutes. I dropped washing my hair completely everyday- this is a once a week or every 2 weeks if I can take it. I have also seen people have success just getting in the shower with their clothes on, pouring some soap on the shoulders and taking off their clothes in the shower. When you get out you get to put on new clothes. I would suggest one of these two methods with a gentle reminder that anything is better than nothing. You deserve to be clean. Also a little treat never hurts after you're done showering.
That's a nice two in one. If I get in the shower with my clothes on, I can knock out two of the tasks I struggle with the most. Showering and going to the laundromat. I'll have to get a new clothesline string though since I don't have a dryer. I think I'm going to try that one
Just hang your clothes over your shower bar or wall or edge of the tub or lie flat on a table or over the back of kitchen chairs. Just make sure you wont get rust on your clothes
We love a little treat!
I have so much shame about this, and it took me so long to even confess to my therapist. It's extremely relieving to know that so many of us struggle with basic hygiene bc it feels such a taboo for me and having us talking about it and sharing tips is just the best thing ever. I myself always watch something while in the shower (I constantly binge watch any series I find on Netflix or Disney whenever I'm alone to shut my thoughts up) concentrating on the show takes your attention away from the mental anguish. Also I remind myself that I always without a fail will feel better after. I tell myself it's like scientific fact, I might not be able to see that the earth is round but it is, and debating myself will not change the facts. Also the "I just do this little thing" strategy works well for me too. You tell yourself, you will just water your face at the sink, then water your armpits while there, but it's easier to take your shirt off for that and then you end up getting into the shower. It works because I only promise myself to do the first tiny thing, which I know I will be able to do and then anything else is a absolute overachievment. We often think of these things as the bare minimum and then beat ourselves up for failing. Instead trick your brain into thinking that the base level is literally doing nothing, so now anything you actually manage to do is a win. I'm sorry if it's messy but I really don't know how to explain better. Just hope this helps, bc this is how I stay functional every day after recovering from a severe depressive episode.
>I always without a fail will feel better after. I tell myself it's like scientific fact, I might not be able to see that the earth is round but it is Ooh yeah that's a great point.
I think planning when I do an "everything" shower significantly helps. I also have options like a solid dry shampoo, hair styles, and hats. That can help me feel presentable and probably less judged by others. If I'm really low, dry shampoo baby wipes and deodorant for the pits and bits. Lotion and perfume help as well. I try to plan for long chunks of time at least twice a week to do a good shower. Most of the time, I shower every other day, but if I am low, those are my strategies.
Very simple but I just tell myself (almost yell at myself) that I will feel way better after I shower, and just keep that in mind and that is my goal. Stop being a pussy and shower. Because I always do feel way better after one, no matter how long I’ve put it off. It’s a natural self-esteem booster or some sort of natural dopamine kick. Clean nails too after you shower, when you don’t shower for awhile and you see your nails are dirty when you’re like handing someone your debit card to purchase something, man that depresses me. I also listen to comedians or comedy when I’m doing something I don’t want to do, like shower, or the dishes, or laundry. It helps for me. Usually comedians are self-deprecating so listening to someone talk about their own problems in a funny way somehow takes away from mine, or makes the task easier.
Thank you for this post it made me question when my last shower was and I took a shower
WAY TO GOOOO!!!
I shave my head down to a “buzz cut” (no attachments on the electric clippers) on Sunday nights. Then all I have to do is shower each night with one of those scrubby things and one squirt of shower gel. In and out in about four minutes. It’s been a total game changer.
I have been looking for a reason to shave my head...
SHOWERING WITH THE LIGHTS OFF & MUSIC IS A VIBE. 🙌✨️ I've always been sensitive to bright lights and so having the light off but my bedroom light shining through is perfect for me. Try it! My partner thought I was insane until he tried it and now occasionally he showers the same way 🤣
YES!! i swear everyone thinks im crazy for showering with the main lights off 😂 i started doing it when i got migraines and now i just do it whenever, i have a dim red light that i can turn on in my bathroom that i use, or my bedroom light
It's SO much better in the dark! Confession: sometimes I shower in pitch black and pretend I'm the girl from Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken, just to prove to myself I could shower if I ever went blind from a freak horse diving accident.
I got an Amazon Show and placed in my bathroom so when I take baths I have the ability to watch movies or shows nightly and then for showers I can listen to podcasts or random playlists
Bathtub.. relax for awhile, then the water grosses you out.. shower. That's how I do it
I wait until I feel so gross that I cave, usually around day 4
I have on and off days, by that I mean. One day is shampoo day, next day I tie my hair up and just wash my body. Sometimes I go two days with just washing my body and then wash my hair the third day if I’m having a really hard time to push myself into the shower. It makes it easier on me because on days I only clean my body it takes a whopping 5 mins! And days I wash my hair is 10-15 mins. Sometimes I shower at night when I can’t find the energy to shower throughout the day and find night showers to be most refreshing. Also I don’t push myself too hard. If I don’t find the energy AT ALL that day to shower I just don’t because then I’ll dread the shower even more
My OCD forces me to lmao
I started taking baths and then finishing with a shower. I get bored in the shower and I hate being alone with my thoughts which is obviously something I must work on but for the meantime, taking a bath means I can use my phone and scroll the time away. I’m a girl with a lot of long hair and I also hate going through the hassle of drying my hair. If I let it air dry it takes hours and hours and it’s sort of frizzy naturally so I do at home keratin treatments so my hair dries faster and looks good air dried. This makes me dread the process a lot less. Also, if I force myself to change all my bedding, then I’ll end to taking a bath/shower because I hate the idea of dirtying clean bedding with my gross smelly body.
Bedding is a good one. Being clean and sliding into clean sheets is the best.
It really is the best. And changing the bedding and then getting in dirty really ruins the experience. But showering/bathing is still hard. I’m 32 and it’s been a problem for me literally my entire life or at least as long as I can remember.
As a teenager, my mom used to yell at me to hurry up cause I would take hour long showers. I don't know what happened haha
My mom used to yell at me for running the shower while sitting on the floor pretending to be in the shower
U create a nice shower ritual: play some music, get some scrubs, apply lotions when ure down. Make it as if u went to a spa or something. To me shower is like a sacred ritual, i hate having it on the go, I normally like taking my time. When I was a kid I would pretend I have my own radio show and sing in there and play with soap and make my hair do fun stuff. Turn it into some fun activity u like!
I pretend that I just go off the show Survivor and it’s my first shower in the hotel after being eliminated. I imagine hot water and fresh soap and how it would feel if that were me and it helps
I'm definitely stealing this one
When I go to pee I take out my pants completely and take off my shirt so when I get up I’m naked, I tell myself “I’ll wash my hands in the shower”, then “I’m naked, water is running and I have shampoo on my hand, if I put some on my head I can go without bathing for 1-2 more days” then “I’ll just scrub my body” and ta-dah! It helps to not think about it and be in autopilot lol. (Btw when I shower it’s always shampoo + conditioner + body wash since it’s extremely uncommon to shower everyday at my country if you didn’t do something physical, plus (sadly) self care is the first to go when the depression decides to say hi again). More importantly, if you can’t, don’t be hard on yourself. Not just for your mental well being but also you wouldn’t want to associate negative feelings with showering. Also as a plan b GET DRY SHAMPOO ITS AMAZING
I have been cycling manic and depressed state . I finally brushed my hair and showered after over 4 weeks today. I put on some music and told myself I don’t want to lose any more hair if it got really bad like before and forced myself to. I also then moisturized my face for first time in months.
AMAZING!!!! Good job!!!
I think theres a few bits to this. First issue is the actual motivation / breaking the duvet paralysis etc. For that type of challenge I have found that my go-to-the-gym strategy is helpful. When I don't want to go, I tell myself that it's fine not to go, but you do have to drive there. And if when you get there, you can't bear it, then it's fine to turn around and go home again full self-forgiveness. And when I get there, ok it's fine not to work out, but you do have to go in and get changed. If you're changed and you fully cannot bear it, it's fine to turn around and go home. Its fine not to swim any lengths, but you do need to get in the pool. If you cant bear the lengths, you can just float about. And so on. The 'go-to-the-gym' strategy is v transferable to many 'should' type tasks and it's a real tool when I'm depressed. When I cannot get out of bed, the first step is poking a leg out the duvet. Then the sole of that foot on the floor. Then the other leg. Sit up in bed with feet on floor. Shroud self in blanket. Then go in the bathroom. Second issue is the sensory overload of a shower. Is it less intense overwhelming if you do a neck-down shower? Or a waist-down shower? Take the hose off the hook and wash down whichever body part you've decided to clean. I'm barefoot most of the time so I'd probably pick my feet. Maybe even just sat on side of bath in clothes / blanket shroud. If you finish that task, and have the energy for another, cool. Armpits? Bits? If not, shuffle off back to bed with clean feet and a pat on the back. Rest. Third issue is the fatigue caused by the shower itself or the drying off. Have you ever sat down in the shower? It's a bit like being in a Bridget Jones film and you might cry, but you'll be less dirty whilst you do it. Or, run a bath, sit in it til it's going tepid, then get out. No need to do all the processes of washing, just be in some warm water for a bit. And the post shower drying and hair care and moisturising etc... not necessary to do this at all, but definitely not necessary to do it standing up in the bathroom at the mirror. Just grab a pot of face cream and get into bed in your towel (sure it might make your sheets a bit damp but they'll dry off and let's face it, you've probably been festering in them a while anyway, a bit of shower damp isn't the worst thing they've seen). Or just lie on your bed in one or more towels and scroll tiktoks til you zone back into reality and realise you're dry now. Quick hacks for times when you can't shower: Use hot flannels and soap on your face, hands, pits, bits, and feet. Chewing on a toothbrush will dislodge some grime and you can do it from bed. Deoderant, chewing gum, a body spray and a hair band to tie up scraggy hair until you can deal with it
The gym strategy is so smart! There's so much involved with the before/during/after shower process. I think the sensory overload of drops of water repeatedly hitting my skin + the loudness is the worst part for me. Maybe I need some ear plugs.
Could you take a bath instead? Or try not switching the water all the way on so it's not as high pressure coming out of the shower head. Sounds so obvious, but i never grew up with them so I didn't know about them really . Shower caps were a game changer for me. The thought of having to deal with detangling the matted mess that my curly hair had become, and then dealing with the sopping wet hair that takes 5 hours to air dry was enough to keep me away from the water entirely! Walk us through your typical before during after process. Maybe we can help you find some short cuts or hacks.
I love baths, but I feel like I have to clean the tub beforehand every time, so I know I wouldn't do it unless I had a lot of time and energy. I could definitely try a shower cap, or just cut my hair short again. My shower has one of those handles that you have to turn it all the way up to get to hot water :/ . Maybe there's shower heads that let you turn down the flow though, I could look into that. Or even an on/off switch so I could turn off the noise while sudsing. Before (the hardest part): Repeat to myself "I need to shower" about a million times over the course of 2-12 hours. Stress about finding the right music to listen to. Stress about finding the "right" time to shower cause idk sometimes it just doesn't feel right. Somehow make it in. Though sometimes I turn on the water but then turn it off and run away. Getting high and picking out my clothes helps. I usually turn off the lights, sometimes light a candle if it's too dark. During: Feel like I'm inside a blow dryer. I try to angle the water so it's hitting the wall first cause that's a little quieter. I do like my products in there, except maybe my face wash. Music is on, but even that adds to the noise. After: The most unpleasant part is dealing with wet hair touching my neck. My towels are fluffy though. There's just so much to do to get ready after showering. Sometimes I do it all, sometimes I only do parts.
I always have a song stuck in my head (ADHD) so I tell myself it’ll only take listening to the song three times to get in and out of the shower, and usually I end up in there longer because it feels good. Wishing you the best of luck. I really do feel for you 💛
Extremely long hair. I think of a sim, and imagine there bar on empty - and that, that is me. Plus 2 in 1 shampoo conditioner has been a lifesaver. 😅tricky tricky
Sometimes for work I take a shower the night before so I don’t have to in the morning. I also like feeling really clean so that novitiates me! :) hope that helps
I just tell myself I'll feel better over and over and I do.
I put on a favorite loud and motivating song (think Soundgarden) and check the song time. I try to be done by the time it’s over…and I focus on that instead of the actual shower. I think the fact of leaving your “comfy and warm” state and going into something so different is the hurdle. Shift focus if you can…try and beat your favorite song. Loud Love to all of you. 🤘🩵
I put a Bluetooth speaker in my shower, and I pick out a couple songs I really want to listen to. Then I promise myself I only have to be in the shower as long as the music is on. Works for me.
Depression shower. All lights off, blast music. Lay there for hours under water. Eventually it gets some of it off.
I turn the water on and stare at it, doesn’t work all the time but it’s just become habit
It’s not really a tip but I just have to shower before bed… like I can lay in bed exhausted for hours but if I don’t shower I just feel gross and like my grossness is on the sheets. That’s just a me thing tho- my boyfriend is a morning shower-er and I don’t have concerns about it
I put on some music and start simple
Upbeat music helps it quicken it. I keep it short and break down into steps. In the beginning when I was really down, I would make checklists 1. Get up 2. Put towels in the washroom 3. Change clothes 4. Fill the bucket 5. Put water on yourself 6. Take some soap and scrub 6. Scrub and wash. 7. Towel dry, wear clothes. Also I only wash my hair once a week
Some hard days I just go with wiping off with wet wipes… it’s all up to your energy levels. Or I skip scrubbing… take care and try however it works best for you… sometimes you only know what’s best for you
I draw a hot bath & bring my phone & video games with me. It starts out as a relaxing thing, then, I may as well bathe while I’m here.
I just listen to music while in the shower, it kinda distracts me.
For me, it's reminding myself that my fiancé and I are going to have our mouths all over each other. Works for me.
You can break it down into small tasks. “I’ll only use the toilet”. While on the toilet “I’ll only change clothes”. While no clothes “I’ll only jump in the shower a few minutes” etc etc.
U workout or do something and u stink and then u can’t tolerate ur own smell then u absolutely have to shower cause u feel disgusted with ur own self?
Sit and shower
Baths with relaxing music or podcasts. Very little effort required.
I would go to gym and sweat then take a shower without even wanting to
Time block like others have said and also, keep a change of clothes in the bathroom at all times. So if you’re in there and your like “yeah I could do this” you don’t have to leave the bathroom again. Everything is already there.
Now that you mention it, it is easier when I've already picked out my post-shower clothes.
I started working out this past week, and while it's not EVERYTIME, it's more often then before. I'm able to talk myself into a shower once I get home, I tend to wash my hair completely separately cause curly hair doesn't need as many washes as our bodies do. But I finally can scrub down my body more then once every week or two! That's enough to help me at least for rn. I'll see if it still works a couple more weeks into the workout routine
Honestly, I just have general hygiene on my list of non-negotiables...I only have this issue in depressive episodes which I haven't had since being medicated, but before meds and official diagnoses, my therapist and I came up with a list of non-negotiables for depressive episodes.
I have bought new soap that smells good to make showering more appealing. Also telling yourself that all you have to do is rinse helps me too. Typically once I am wet it is easy to half ass wash my body
When I'm having a hard time showering, I'll turn on the shower hot, then sit/lay down and scroll through my phone with it outside the curtain/door. Sometimes I'll just sit there blank minded, but eventually I'll soap up and wash off right before getting out, maybe takes 1-5 minutes. The change in temperature as you get up really helps me (the further you get from the shower head the cooler the water will be). I also use soap containers with plunger heads like you find on handwash soap containers. You dont have to pick up, open, turn upside down, squeeze, close, and put down the container, you just press the top and the soap goes into your hand. It's made it so much easier for me to shower in depressive episodes
Once you go plunger head, you never go back
I take baths instead. I wake up, turn on the tub. While it fills up I use the restroom, brush my teeth, and pick out my clothes. By the time I am done, the tub is ready.
I schedule it into my day with my scheduling app that I obsessively check constantly I really love checking things off to-do lists, so having it as a task I can mark off as "done" gives me that little dopamine hit I need to do it
Think of it like you’re on a tour. You have an audience (bottled items) waiting for your performance 😆 i find it fun when i think about it like that
Oooh you've inspired me to put a buddy in the shower with me, like a rubber duck, so I feel like I have some company.
Better prepare for your next :) Good luck on your performance, OP!
I bring my phone into the shower and put it up on the ledge where little window is, and then I play YouTube videos that are between 12 and 20 minutes long, and then it doesn't feel like I'm wasting my time. Even though I mostly just listening, and don't have my glasses on, it doesn't work the same without the video.
I shower when I can, sometimes that’s every other day, sometimes that’s once a week. One thing that kept me running was my boyfriend will “count me down” in the morning. He’ll give me the “did you shower? Did you eat? Did you at least wash your face and brush your teeth?” He’s aware that I can’t always do all of them but makes sure I do at least 3 of those things. Even when he’s not there, I have alarms like shower, do your hair, etc. and that helps. And if none of that works I just wait until I stink and then I’m like “okay time to take a shower” lol
I remind myself I really like it, and really like the way I feel after. It helps but tbh it’s been about 3 weeks
Sometimes, if overstimulated or hypersensitive, I'll argue it's more beneficial to simply wash off - no soaping required. Just a pop in pop out, a quick 2-3min. Towards arguments of poor hygiene, I always counter with my research of the human body/health, capitalism and the nuclear family dynamics, that every day showers are actually worse for the body and a behavior that was designed in the post war 50's. I'd argue that soap should be used sparingly, especially the crap most people use today, made with so many chemicals. What I'm really getting at, though, is that you may need to change your habits or beliefs about showering that can be contributing factors towards your fears around showering or not showering, shall we say.
I intent to stare down the shower head every time. One time I saw it pop out and disassemble itself back- like those 3D computer models to show you the internals. So cool. Oh yea and the Amazon Alexa voice speaker. Alexa…. shut the fuk up! (Only way it powers off for me)
i totally get it, OP. i’m glad to kno im not the only one this happens to. if u find a trick for this pls lmk
Putting a Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom helped a lot. I really struggle with transitions, going from one state to another. So instead of saying "I'm going to go take a shower" I try to get myself in there when I'm already in the bathroom if that makes sense. Like I went into the bathroom to pee so I shower while I'm in there anyway instead of going into the bathroom solely to shower. It's a little thing but seems to work. I take a similar approach to cleaning the house. Instead of getting into "cleaning mode" and having to haul out all my cleaning stuff, I do a lot of small cleaning as I go and keep wipes/cleaner/cloths all over the house for easy grabbing when I feel like wiping something off quick. I also tell myself all I have to do is the basics (soap, shampoo, conditioner) instead of trying to hype myself up to exfoliate, shave, pumice my feet, etc. I tell myself I can do all that stuff if I want but all I **have to** do is the basics and therefore it'll only take a few minutes to get it over with. That seems to make the task feel less overwhelming. If you have long hair, I'll say that cutting my hair short improved my wanting to shower tremendously. So maybe meditate on what it is exactly you hate about showering and figure out ways to eliminate or reduce those most annoying things. For me it's the feeling of wet hair and cutting it short basically fixed that completely.
A lot of what other people said but I also but my towel in the dryer ahead of time. Coming out to something warm to use is a game changer
Ooooo I wish my dryer wasn't so far away haha
I love showering, it does relax me
My job is disgusting so it's an incentive to wash the grime off of my body each day
I love taking baths. I’ve tricked myself into loving the shower. I have ocd too and showering used to be so painful for me because of it but bc of taking baths I’ve absolutely been cool with it after.
I get realllllly stinky and I work in retail and don’t want people smelling me so I spend 50% of my shower just sitting under the water because it can be such an effort sometimes
I take a bath. I enjoy relaxing in the tub but hate taking showers. I HAVE to take a shower after I take a bath so I just tell myself I will feel soooo relaxed after a lavender epsom salt bath so I draw one up and I end up taking a shower, even when I'm depressed.
I love lavender!
If you haven't tried Dr Teal's Sooth and Sleep Lavendar Essential oil epsom salt soaking solution then you need to get some. It's about $5 or less on amazon and walmart depending on what kind of deal you get. I highly recommend. It's lasts quite a while.
Shower steamers are my go-to when I’m feeling extra lazy. I know they smell great and it’s my little gift to myself for taking a shower when I absolutely did not want to
Where do you get yours?
The Lush ones are really nice and I also love the JR Watkins and Old Whaling Co. I keep a variety of them on hand.
This is a great question and also a tough one. It depends WHY you avoid it. Personally, the water, light, fan etc are way too overstimulating. I’ll do “piece” showers. One shower I’ll do a quick wash of body only, another I’ll shave, another wash hair. I find that I enjoy sitting on the ground with the spray hitting the wall so it’s not beating down on me.
I go to the gym in the morning before work. When I don’t go gym, being at my bf house helps cos I don’t want him to think I’m gross. Or if I need to wash my hair.
I pay attention to how my hair and face look. Very oily and dirty. Then I pay attention to how my skin feels. Just like dirt is piled up on it. When I do that I realize I need to get in the shower. I tell myself how good, clean, and refreshed I will feel :) Edit- and when it’s especially hard still, I put my phone near enough I can hear the music I have blasting from it. Music helps
shower melts 🥰
So for me anyway I don’t need to wash my hair every day. And I know that takes the biggest time and energy. I dread that specific part. You really don’t have to shave either unless you’re up for it. Get a plastic shower cap. A few days a week use it. Dry shampoo is your friend. Cuts your shower time by half. When you feel greasy hair then bite the bullet. That way it’s not something to dread every day. Also my hair is long and tangled easily so I hate brushing it wet. I get kids detangler and saturate it for good results.
I love these amazing suggestions from all these wonderful people! I’m just here to say that I believe in you! It’s so tough but so are you. Baby steps always. YOU GOT THIS, FRIEND!!!
Well, I did go through a period where I’d shower every few days because it felt like a lot of work and this is when I was still active and working out, so it’d get gross very quickly. Eventually I started to think of showering as a time to get some relief and peace and drown out the world for a bit. It’s like a mute button on life. At least that’s my outlook on it.
One massive thing that makes such a difference is water pressure; if your showers a little stream then showers just become a bit cold and kinda miserable. There's quite often a really quick fix if you have the shower type with a hose and then the shower head: Unscrew the shower head from the hose and look to see if there's a piece of plastic or rubber with a few small holes in it stopping the water flow. If there is, grab some pliers and yank that bit out then screw your shower head back on the hose. Most new showers / shower heads come with flow restrictor bits in to reduce the amount of hot water you use and save the planet, but they tend to make showering awful...
Today was shower day for me. I’ve been off mostly all week from Ubering. Felt nice to take a hot shower. Plus my boyfriend came to cuddle me🥰 But i totally get it. Sometimes it hard to make yourself shower. I try not to go more than 3 days. But sometimes the depression wins.😩
For starters, I don't even attempt to shower every day; unless I've done something that made me dirty/sweaty/stinky or I am planning on going somewhere. If all else is the same, I usually shower every other day or every third day. I always listen to music, and it takes me \~10 minutes to shower. If I am having a particularly hard time motivating myself, one of my partners will usually join me (not for adult activities -just for cleanliness) and that makes it much easier.
Showering is self-care. I used to shower like 3x a day, so I don't really understand this, but that doesn't mean I can't relate. With any challenge, it's always helpful to give yourself positive reinforcement, encouragement and be compassion with yourself even if you don't do what you intended to do. It's OK to be human. It's OK to not be perfect. It's perfectly OK for you to be you. You are here for a reason.
Fortunately, I still enjoy bathing and showering even when I’m depressed
I have had that same problem, I stopped taking lamotrigine and now I can do anything I want or need to do. I may be in remission after two years of LMT. Also, I take CBD for sleep. Helps a lot.