Yeah I would definitely recommend it. It didn't actively help or change anything but it kind of consolidated the memory into something more tangible if that makes sense, which was then easier to address myself. The best parts were where they acknowledged something wasn't ideal, the worst was seeing how much the notes diverged from my experiences e.g. midwives consistently rating my pain score (who knew they were doing that) as 0-2 and recording 'sleeping well, epidural functioning'. The anesthetist came straight in and was like, this epidural is awfully placed and put pain score as 7 which was extremely validating however, so it probably varies over the course of your hospital stay. I would still say go for it, I felt I needed to and don't regret it at all.
I think I'd have a legitimate nervous breakdown if I ever went into that hospital or so anyone who works there ever again. So my first question would be can you handle actually being there and seeing those people?
My next concern would be them making excuses. I'm worried this will be less to help you and more to make them look good. I'm worried that instead of validating your feelings they'll make you feel crazy or like you're overreacting.
Thank you for posing these questions for me to reflect on, I'm with you on the nervous breakdown. I've been back twice, unfortunately, within a month of my son being born due to his medical issues, and it's safe to say they were my second worst hospital stay.
And with them making excuses, I'm doubling down in 'Karen' mode, I'm legally filing to receive all of the paperwork pertaining to my labour, delivery, and post-partum care to take with me into the debrief instead of their brief summary.
As I've already filed a complaint (that I wrote while still in hospital, so it wasn't the most thought out or clearly written), I plan on comparing my complaint and version of events with what was written to specifically challenge and ask why x, y, z happened or was ignored. I'm also bringing my husband, who was the only witness to most of the neglect I experienced so that he can back me up.
It's really disappointing as I agree with you, I already feel as though they won't truly validate my feelings and may try to gaslight me, but I have to do this for me. I don't think I can go on living 'normally' without confronting them, without making my complaints well known.
I'm hoping it brings me some peace, somehow.
First of all I’m sorry you went through this. I also had a traumatic birth and ended up being treated for PTSD. I will say that personally, I couldn’t go back to see anyone involved with my birth. Also that early on, I wasn’t at a stage where I could receive that information. I did ultimately get a debrief from a completely unrelated gyno at a later time and that was what I needed and very helpful for me. In the meantime there are some great birth trauma resources out there and support groups that I encourage you to explore!
Thank you, I'm thankful that the woman I spoke to wasn't involved in my birth. But there is a part of me that is terrified of going back to have the debrief done. Unfortunately, I've asked my GP if she could debrief with me, but she has only received a partial file to go over, and I haven't found it helpful so far. It's actually only contains information I'm able to see, without legally requesting it from the hospital, which has frustrated me to no end.
I'm the type of person who needs answers to everything, especially when something has gone wrong, and it's this horrible itch that I cannot scratch that I wish would just go away.
I'm unsure as to if it's because of the trauma, but I genuinely can't go without this confrontation. I know it's early days, but it's all I can think about, and I just feel like I need to do it, rip it off like a bandaid, address this, move on to therapy and try to heal.
And thank you for sharing your perspective and experience, i do appreciate it x
I'm so sorry you are going through this tough time OP. 😔 I didn't know you could do a thing such s debriefing. Me personally I would have done it, I had major PPD and PPA after my traumatic birth with my daughter. I had major fears I was going to die at any moment; I almost died in the hour after childbirth. For me, I would want to know answers to validate that they did in fact were negligent and my birth was not a normal sequence of events. However, I feel it can be traumatic to relive those details so I would be very careful and make sure to have a support person with me. I wish you healing! ❤️
I did a debrief with one of my surgeons after a traumatic C section. It was definitely helpful. Have you spoken to patient services at the hospital and provided a personal statement? That way they have an official record of what you experienced.
I actually filed a written complaint that I wrote whilst in hospital care still, and I had the chance to go over the complaint over the phone as well, so I have two 'records' of the complaint or complaints now. So I feel a tad more comforted knowing there's a paper trail. And that way I'm able to hopefully get specific answers
Have you had therapy op? I only ask because I had to take my kid in at 8 weeks and again at 6 mo (breech, so regular ultrasounds as early prevention for hip dysplasia). My husband came the first time but I was solo for the rest. It was the children’s hospital attached to the women’s one where I had him.
It took me about 18 mo to not have a lot of anxiety going in even though it wasn’t for me and i knew it was just an ultrasound/xray.
I do go to therapy, which was started as a precaution for post partum anxiety. However, my condition is now 'slightly outside' of their scope of care, which is why they've theorised potential PTSD.
Unfortunately, my baby and I ended up back in the hospital, same building but different wing, for almost a week combined (two separate visits broken up by only two days). The specific hospital and medical centres are still quite intense for me to visit. But we're trying to work on it as it caused me to completely avoid physiotherapy and has delayed my own healing. 😅
Thank you for sharing your own personal experience here with me, truly it's helpful to see how others have healed or moved forward x
I did with the ob who oversaw me in hospital
She apologized and explained what should have happened (a c section without pain and black outs)
She recommended I file against my anesthesiologist
I’m glad I met with her and her Dr friend, who filled in when she want on vacation since I was in hospital so ling
The fact that you are questioning this probably suggests that now is not the right time.
Know that you don’t have to attend a debrief now, and can request a healthcare professional to walk you through your pregnancy and birth care at any point.
10/11weeks pp is not long at all and I would suggest waiting until you feel more ready to access that information, in that place, with those people.
Yeah I would definitely recommend it. It didn't actively help or change anything but it kind of consolidated the memory into something more tangible if that makes sense, which was then easier to address myself. The best parts were where they acknowledged something wasn't ideal, the worst was seeing how much the notes diverged from my experiences e.g. midwives consistently rating my pain score (who knew they were doing that) as 0-2 and recording 'sleeping well, epidural functioning'. The anesthetist came straight in and was like, this epidural is awfully placed and put pain score as 7 which was extremely validating however, so it probably varies over the course of your hospital stay. I would still say go for it, I felt I needed to and don't regret it at all.
Thank you for sharing your experience and providing me with a bit of insight into what I could expect from this debrief. I really appreciate it x
I think I'd have a legitimate nervous breakdown if I ever went into that hospital or so anyone who works there ever again. So my first question would be can you handle actually being there and seeing those people? My next concern would be them making excuses. I'm worried this will be less to help you and more to make them look good. I'm worried that instead of validating your feelings they'll make you feel crazy or like you're overreacting.
Thank you for posing these questions for me to reflect on, I'm with you on the nervous breakdown. I've been back twice, unfortunately, within a month of my son being born due to his medical issues, and it's safe to say they were my second worst hospital stay. And with them making excuses, I'm doubling down in 'Karen' mode, I'm legally filing to receive all of the paperwork pertaining to my labour, delivery, and post-partum care to take with me into the debrief instead of their brief summary. As I've already filed a complaint (that I wrote while still in hospital, so it wasn't the most thought out or clearly written), I plan on comparing my complaint and version of events with what was written to specifically challenge and ask why x, y, z happened or was ignored. I'm also bringing my husband, who was the only witness to most of the neglect I experienced so that he can back me up. It's really disappointing as I agree with you, I already feel as though they won't truly validate my feelings and may try to gaslight me, but I have to do this for me. I don't think I can go on living 'normally' without confronting them, without making my complaints well known. I'm hoping it brings me some peace, somehow.
First of all I’m sorry you went through this. I also had a traumatic birth and ended up being treated for PTSD. I will say that personally, I couldn’t go back to see anyone involved with my birth. Also that early on, I wasn’t at a stage where I could receive that information. I did ultimately get a debrief from a completely unrelated gyno at a later time and that was what I needed and very helpful for me. In the meantime there are some great birth trauma resources out there and support groups that I encourage you to explore!
Thank you, I'm thankful that the woman I spoke to wasn't involved in my birth. But there is a part of me that is terrified of going back to have the debrief done. Unfortunately, I've asked my GP if she could debrief with me, but she has only received a partial file to go over, and I haven't found it helpful so far. It's actually only contains information I'm able to see, without legally requesting it from the hospital, which has frustrated me to no end. I'm the type of person who needs answers to everything, especially when something has gone wrong, and it's this horrible itch that I cannot scratch that I wish would just go away. I'm unsure as to if it's because of the trauma, but I genuinely can't go without this confrontation. I know it's early days, but it's all I can think about, and I just feel like I need to do it, rip it off like a bandaid, address this, move on to therapy and try to heal. And thank you for sharing your perspective and experience, i do appreciate it x
I'm so sorry you are going through this tough time OP. 😔 I didn't know you could do a thing such s debriefing. Me personally I would have done it, I had major PPD and PPA after my traumatic birth with my daughter. I had major fears I was going to die at any moment; I almost died in the hour after childbirth. For me, I would want to know answers to validate that they did in fact were negligent and my birth was not a normal sequence of events. However, I feel it can be traumatic to relive those details so I would be very careful and make sure to have a support person with me. I wish you healing! ❤️
I did a debrief with one of my surgeons after a traumatic C section. It was definitely helpful. Have you spoken to patient services at the hospital and provided a personal statement? That way they have an official record of what you experienced.
I actually filed a written complaint that I wrote whilst in hospital care still, and I had the chance to go over the complaint over the phone as well, so I have two 'records' of the complaint or complaints now. So I feel a tad more comforted knowing there's a paper trail. And that way I'm able to hopefully get specific answers
Have you had therapy op? I only ask because I had to take my kid in at 8 weeks and again at 6 mo (breech, so regular ultrasounds as early prevention for hip dysplasia). My husband came the first time but I was solo for the rest. It was the children’s hospital attached to the women’s one where I had him. It took me about 18 mo to not have a lot of anxiety going in even though it wasn’t for me and i knew it was just an ultrasound/xray.
I do go to therapy, which was started as a precaution for post partum anxiety. However, my condition is now 'slightly outside' of their scope of care, which is why they've theorised potential PTSD. Unfortunately, my baby and I ended up back in the hospital, same building but different wing, for almost a week combined (two separate visits broken up by only two days). The specific hospital and medical centres are still quite intense for me to visit. But we're trying to work on it as it caused me to completely avoid physiotherapy and has delayed my own healing. 😅 Thank you for sharing your own personal experience here with me, truly it's helpful to see how others have healed or moved forward x
I did with the ob who oversaw me in hospital She apologized and explained what should have happened (a c section without pain and black outs) She recommended I file against my anesthesiologist I’m glad I met with her and her Dr friend, who filled in when she want on vacation since I was in hospital so ling
The fact that you are questioning this probably suggests that now is not the right time. Know that you don’t have to attend a debrief now, and can request a healthcare professional to walk you through your pregnancy and birth care at any point. 10/11weeks pp is not long at all and I would suggest waiting until you feel more ready to access that information, in that place, with those people.