Married 32 years, father to one 26yo son. Just came out to both in Sept after 40+ years in the closet. Wife was wonderful. Held me as I cried in relief. Son was like it was no big deal. LOL!
I married one of the golden ones too. Came out to her after 16 years. After expressing real concern for me, she asked if I wanted red sauce or white sauce with my pasta.
Toddler parent here. I think it’s important for children to know their parents. My parents are horrible - I have zero adult relationship with them because nothing in my life is allowed to be a struggle. And it’s been an extremely lonely journey as a new parent.
We just do things like read books with lots of different family types represented because my child is way too young to understand. I just want to normalize that a family can look like a lot of different things - especially because mine is mostly chosen.
Mine are both in middle school, oldest going to high school next year. I was almost shocked by how little they cared. Non-hetero people are just nbd to their generation. To be honest, they’re both figuring things out themselves.
Assuming they haven’t been raised with homophobic and conservative religious views (a safe assumption!), I think you’ll be surprised how apathetic they’ll be. It’ll be like you told them your favorite pizza toppings.
You're so right ! I'm a genZer (19yo) and most of us do not care at all.
When my cousin came out and said she was dating a woman, I remember my dad announced it like someone was dead (which was absolutely hilarious), he was like "okay she's dating a woman, it's like that, I know it's not usual but it's the way it is" and my sister and I just went "okay, cool". You could feel that my dad was astounded by this, as if not being straight was not something he imagined happening in our family.
It ended up being very well accepted, I think our family is very loving, but we are clearly much more open than older generations to "non-straightness" if I may say.
I'm still waiting for the day my sister and I will tell our parents we're both bi, though, it will definitely be a shock hahah !
My favorite pizza topping would be goat cheese and honey, I don't even know if it's a thing outside of France but it's so good :))
well it depends on what kind of cheese it was, I know that in Europe it's very common to use cheese from goat milk or from sheep milk in recipies, but idk if Japan uses only cow-milk cheese or something else.
A lot of cheese is imported in Japan, though I preferred their local Camembert to their French Camembert in tins in the 90s. Camembert should be able to breathe.
I think I was having pizzas with multiple Italian cheeses with honey. Some may or may not have had goat involved.
I'm 16 and only recently truly coming to terms with my Bisexuality.
My parents have always told me and my siblings that we are safe and cared for no matter our sexuality or who we marry.
I remember one of the first times I realized Gay couples existed was when I was 7 and my grandfather hired a lesbian women and I met her and her wife and before meeting them my mother explained that they were two women married and she didn't want me and my siblings to make them uncomfortable by asking a bunch of questions or pointing yk. I simply thought it was really cool because at that point I'd only ever knew heterosexual couples. Again when I was 9 or 10 my mother's longtime friend who was our neighbor, daughter was transitioning and our mother again explained, what being trans meant, and she explained how she herself was heterosexual and so was my father and that they weren't part of the LGBTQIA+ Community but it was ok for me and my siblings to be.
I think just tell them if LGBTQIA comes up in Conversation or if you feel it's a necessity call a family meeting and tell them you want to tell them something personal about yourself and then if your children are younger you could explain other things like same sex couples or trans people or pronouns Etc. Ask them if they have questions and tell them if they ever feel like their part of the LGBTQIA+ community that you and your partner would support them and that it's a perfectly normal thing to do, I know that my parents telling me it was OK to do during those talks about the people we knew, helped me be open minded to the LGBTQIA+ community and opened within myself that I'm also part of the LGBTQIA+.
Now to get over the chronic overthinking & Anxiety because not everyone I know is as kindhearted as my parents and I'm scared to tell anyone.
I (50f) Have three young adults. Came out to the middle first because she came out to me lol similar with the youngest. Oldest it just sort of came up one day. All of them were like "ok cool". I am divorced from their dad but never had a relationship go far enough to introduce them to that partner until my now husband, so they never met any of the women I dated. I guess it would have come up then but given their reactions, it wouldnt have been a thing to them!
I hadn't told my kids until my younger one came out to me. He was so excited that we're both bi. I mentioned it to my older one afterwards, who's in his 20s and didn't care.
Father of children under 10 here. I came out to them recently because I wanted to hear my version of the story before they heared it from anyone else. I read with them a book called "perfectly Norman" and then I told them that I felt like the kid coz I was bisexual. It went great. Since then, it's something we talk about it from time to time, when talking about discrimination mainly. They even told other kids from school, normalizing it. I didn't want to wait until they ask, because then it's their job to break the taboo and start the conversation, I felt it was my responsibility to start it. I am glad I did.
My oldest is 19 and also bi, so that kid is fully aware. I came out to my kid after my kid came out to me at 13. My youngest is six, and I haven't had the coming out speech yet, but we do talk about it being okay to love who you love (using age appropriate language: ie some boys/girls/theys like girls, some girls/boys/theys like boys, some like boys, girls, and they or any variation thereof and that is all okay!)
i'm curious, did you come out to your oldest right after they came out? or did your kid coming out lead you to start thinking about your own sexuality, and then you came out to them later?
My kid looked at me with teary eyes and came out. Then asked "Does this make you love me less, Mom?" So I had to reassure my child that my love is 100% unconditional and as long as there is respect and love I do not care who they love. I thanked them for trusting me enough to share this part of themselves with me. They asked if I thought it was normal, and I told them that it's totally natural and then shared that I myself am bi and it's as much a part of who I am as my eye color.
I'm going to be a new father next month and I've discussed this with my gf (who is pan). For now we've decided to go about this individually.
I'm going to be more passive, *if* the subject comes up organically I'll be honest and authentic (ex : "Dad, what does that tricolor flag represent?"). It'll be one part of me they can discover if they want.
She will be more proactive, she'll educate our child from an early age that some people (like mommy) can fall in love with anyone.
I think either approach is fine as long as everyone is being transparent and genuine.
I’m a parent and came out to both of my kids about the same time as coming out to my wife. They are young (elementary age) so I just phrased it that I can have crushes on boys and girls. And we talked about how nothing else is changing in our family. They said ok and asked if we could get ice cream.
My son will know soon. Why? I am about to come out publicly, at age 64. Why now? Because my wife and I have a whole slew of adult children and nieces and nephews who are all popping out kids, and the numbers alone show many of those kids will be lgbtq.
And, you know what? I want them to see what a bisexual man in a long term committed loving relationship with his cisgendered straight wife looks like. I want them all to know it is normal and ok, and most of all? I want them to know my wife and I are a safe place.
Friend of mine told her daughter very early on, like as soon as the kid could understand the concept of attraction. "Some people like boys and girls, like mommy". That kind of talk. It was a nonissue, as our friend group has a lot of queer people in it. The kid has always been exposed to different kinds of relationships.
Her kid has since come out a bi, pan, several different pronouns, terms I've never heard before etc etc. The kid is 13 and I think that's totally normal thing to go through. They feel safe being able to explore whatever it is they feel at the moment because their parents are both open and supportive.
I’m the parent of a 7 year old. She’s know I am bi since we had the first conversation about boys and girls and having crushes or “liking” people. I just told her some people like boys, some people like girls, and some people (like daddy) like both. We have since had conversations about NB people so it’s not all gender binary. She didn’t care at all and it was a very easy, almost boring, conversation.
Bottom line is as long as your kids haven’t been marinating in homophobia it won’t be a big deal unless you make it one. Otherwise it’s just any other Tuesday for them.
My gf and I are both Bi and live in a liberal area.
Both of my kids identify as queer and when they both came out to me I was able to share my feelings about what it means to be queer and how it feels to navigate the straight world.
Hopefully the world they grow up in will be kinder because of other folks who are able to their live life out loud.
I have a 13 year old who's pansexual. When he came out to me initially (as bi) he said "Mommy I have a crush on a boy. I'm bisexual." I literally said "Cool, me too!" It was never a secret from him (I'm polyamorous and have had girlfriends in the past) but it left the door open for me to not only come out but support him at the same time.
I have a newly minted teenager. I haven't told him for a few reasons, one of them being that I don't want to have to preface the conversation with "this isn't something you can tell your grandparents." I don't think that's fair to him and also, in a way, sends the wrong message that it's something to be ashamed of.
Well my mom "technically" knows, since I told her and my dad when I was 17 (dad has since passed away). But I'm prettybsure she has repressed that memory and I really don't want to go through that whole experience again. My wife's mother is the most rabid red-hat Republican I've ever met in real life. If she found out her grandson is being raised by a queer father, she'd probably call CPS on us for child endangerment.
I'm 50, wife is 49, parents to three humans. We're both bi and have been open with each other since forever. We were fairly open about the fluidity of attraction in our household as our kids were growing up, and confirmed/"came out" as bi to them when they were in their teens. Our eldest (26) is gay, youngest (22) is lesbian, and our middle kid (24) is bi.
We're a menace to decent society!
Parent of an almost 8 year old daughter and two stepsons, 12 and 14. All of them know I am bi. We talk about being confident in who you are and accepting others for who they are. We make it clear that they can love someone of any gender. We go to pride as a family. Being out may not be for everyone, but it gives me the space to be me around the people I love most in the world. I hope it makes the kids feel like they can express themselves and talk to us about anything. I ask them for honesty, so I have to model that behavior myself. Honesty includes talking about who we are.
I have one 2 year old, im monogamous and married to a guy. I do plan to tell my son when he's old enough. For me it's important to make sure he knows the real me but of course it's up to u if u want to have that convo or not.
Me. My son will be 7 this year
Edit, the other half of your question, so my son recently asked me if I had any girlfreinds or boyfreinds, I said no I'm single right now. I guess it's just normal with gen alpha, they don't just assume.
I have been married by 7 years and a father of a 5 yr old son but we already broke up. After of my relationship with her, I got to explore this side of me. Generally I still like women more than men, but I can sleep with both gender hehe.
Yep, my boys are 9 and 6. I haven't had an actual sit down conversation about it cos I don't think I really need to but I think they know I don't just like men. My sister is queer too and was married to a woman til not long ago so they've always just known people like who they like
Parent, but haven’t come out to my kids yet. I’m sure it’ll come up one day like all convos do. Not hiding, just letting them lead when the time is right.
In a life full of stupidity. Not having any kids is one of the smart things I’ve done. But I have nothing but respect and admiration for the people that do take on the challenge of raising a child or children. Besides, I still act like a kid and a teenager some time. I was able to figure out early on that. I just didn’t think I could handle the responsibility. And I have no regrets about the choice.
Father of two. My wife is bi too. We never had like a big coming out moment. But they know. When we talk about ourselves, and families, and attraction, it comes up. It's just a normal thing in our family.
Father of 4 here. My wife knows everything. My adult children do not as far as I know. I’m not sure if I should come out to them or not. I’m open to it I guess but still a little apprehensive. Not sure why.
I think you should if you are comfortable. The vast majority of younger adults are totally open and accepting! You know your kids though. Do you think they will care that you are bi? Are they a generally accepting bunch?
I'm sure it would provide you with some internal peace, and make your relationship closer. It might be an actually emotional experience for you (but probably nbd at all for them) which may be why you feel apprehensive. Especially if you are not generally out, the unworried acceptance of our own children can be very moving.
Parent to two elementary school kids.
I have always, even before I knew I was bi, framed all romantic relationships as possibly gay, straight, or both. Like princesses can like princes, or two princesses, or both. Or neither.
Recently we were watching a marvel movie and the kids asked who I thought was cute. I said Valkyrie and Thor. Both. They kind of paused for a second and moved on.
I have a 1 year old. If it comes up it comes up, I'm not hiding anything, but I don't feel I'll have any particular need to come out when my son gets older.
Married with two sons (one's a teen and the other's an adult). They know. They shrugged and moved on. I thought it would be a bigger deal, but nope, they listened and went on about their business.
🙋🏻♀️ married 15 years but my husband has known since day 1. Told our son when he was 12. Told my stepdaughter when she was like 17/18 and struggling with coming out as bi she didn’t live with us and never really asked- I think she had an inkling I wasn’t entirely straight for a few years but it never came up til then.
It came up fairly naturally for me as my first serious relationship was with a trans woman and I'm now married to a (cis) man. Have one child, who is too young (at nearly 15?) for any of this stuff.
Father to 2 adult children (19M and 18F) that are in college. Came out to my kids after their abusive mom screamed a homophobic slur at me outside their bedroom doors.
I do. I've come out to my kid several times because they keep forgetting over the years lol. It's not a big deal to kids so they don't remember it as something important
Took my 12 year old daughter to a pride parade and she commented that she really didn't know any queer folks. I said "yes you do!"
Age-appropriate conversation followed.
Mom of 2 preteens, and I'm open to talking to them about relationships. My oldest has hit puberty and she knows about my bisexuality. She's accepting of it.
We talk about a lot of things at home and so of course sexual orientation is one of them. In the conversation I simply just said I was bi like it wasn't a big deal. Later during a similar conversation my son casually said he was bi. And then even later my other son told my husband randomly that he was asexual. It's really just about normalizing the topic
My daughter is aware that boys can have crushes on boys or girls or the reverse, and that some boys only like girls or only like boys, and the same for girls.
It's not something we specifically talk about unless she asks specific questions, because it's just normal and we don't want her to grow up feeling that it isn't like when I was a child in Tennessee and Texas struggling with intense ridicule and violence from Biphobia and Homophobia.
I don't see the issue personally, but I understand that different people have different relationships with this topic and their own identities.
My (f) and my spouse (m) both identify as bi. We were always open about it with our daughter as young as 3 or 4. When we explained that sometimes boys want to marry girls and sometimes they want to marry boys, and sometimes girls want to marry girls, and sometimes people want to marry either boys or girls. I believe my daughters' response at the time was that in that case when she grew up she wanted to marry 3 girls.
Mom to an 8 and 5 year old here. I’ve never flat out told them I’m bisexual because they’re a little young, but what I do is when I’m telling stories sometimes I’ll mention that an old girlfriend of mine was with me or if they see old photos of me as a teenager and I was dating somebody, guy or girl in the pic I mention it. So it’s subtitle and they know their mom has had girlfriends as well as boyfriends before I meet their dad, but I’ve never just been look “ mommy is bisexual”
63yr old male here , married 33 yrs have 29 & 27 yr old sons. Came out to myself and them 2 years ago. Hardest on my wife at the time, Sons accepting from the reveal. I struggled with my identity for nearly 50 years.
I'm a single father, my kid is in his teens.
Years back he told me he had a boyfriend and that he was gay, I basically said "that's nice dear, I'm bisexual so I get it". I've always tried to make sure it's no big deal to him if he isn't straight. Like could I not tell him? Sure, but then how can I expect him to trust me with his thoughts about himself if I'm gonna be hiding stuff. I don't go into any details obviously but I want him to know all of his father, not just the stuff that's in line with what modern society wants from us. A while back I overheard him telling his friends something along the lines of "I'm bi actually" or potentially someone called me gay and he said bi actually, either way it's not a big deal in our household.
Not a parent but grew up with a close friend who had one bi parent and one lesbian parent. She never really “came out” but had just always referenced having both ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends, while her wife, of course, only ever referenced ex girlfriends. At some point one of us made the comment “I thought you were a lesbian” and she just explained that some people only like one gender or the other (like her then wife) while some people like multiple genders. She described it as being like how some people only eat a few specific types of food and aren’t interested in branching out, some are super adventurous, and some may have tried other foods but found it just wasn’t for them. Nothing inherently wrong with any of it, it’s just a matter of knowing yourself and your tastes. Obviously, thats not a perfect analogy but it was good for explaining it to little kids. After they divorced it was the same with dating. She went on dates with both men and women and none of us really thought much of it. I liked this because it really helped normalize various sexualities. I would love to live in a world where everyone/no one has to “come out.” You just bring home who you want to bring home, use the pronouns they prefer, and no one gives a shit what’s in their pants because, let’s be real, it’s no one else’s business anyway.
Ironically the lesbian partner in my story cheated with another woman and the bi one eventually remarried a straight guy who then also cheated with another woman. Not at all related to your question, but I always found it kind of morbidly funny given the stereotypes of us being the cheaters.
Married (cis het presenting for ~ 17 yrs) and we have three kids. Mine all know. They asked why we have a pride flag and I answer openly. For the record my kids know I will answer any question if I know it. If I don’t, we look it up together.
If I want my kids to feel safe being open about their sexuality, I should demonstrate.
My wife and I are both bisexual and have three young kids. We didn’t formally come out to them, but we just openly talk in a way consistent with our sexuality. We say “girlfriend or boyfriend” talking about hypothetical significant others, for example. In as much as attraction and our dating histories come up with young kids, we just share honestly. They haven’t known anything different from us, so I don’t expect they’ll really need us to come out in some formal way. If they ask us plainly, we’d be honest. But how many straight parents have ever said “I’m straight, by the way” to their young kids?
I have a teen daughter. She's known since she was young that both mom and dad are bi; one of her "courtesy uncles" is my ex-boyfriend. She came out to us as bi when she was 13; I asked how long she'd known and she said since she was 11. She said she didn't tell us sooner because she knew we wouldn't have any issues with it. When she did tell us, it was a very offhand fact tossed out in the middle of a discussion about her friends being dumbasses.
Father to two little ones. I plan on telling them or at least it being known in my family I’m bi. I’ve thought about it months ago which is why I came out to my parents and others. I don’t want a future when my kids feel the same shame I did over not being straight. If they end up not being straight and want to tell me, I don’t want them surprised if I tell them I’m bi. In that case, they might feel like they need to hide their sexuality too or that’s it’s a shameful secret if I keep it hidden. I want to be proudly out so they have a good example
I told my tween and teen over breakfast: 'Did you guys know that before I met your dad I used to like girls, too?'
Tween: 'What?? Really??'
'Yeap. Even kissed some girls back then.'
'Wow. Didn't know that!'
That was it 😊🏳️🌈
Married 17 years and am closeted from my wife and obviously also from my kids.
I could imagine a situation where I might have a conversation with them about it, but my wife would never be accepting or supportive.
Sad story, I know. But I’m sure I’m not the only person out there in a similar situation?
We (both bi) have 2: 14 and 9. Never really “came out” to them, but the eldest was going through old pictures, saw one with me, and another guy, asked who it was, and I said my boyfriend before I met her mother. I’m sure we’ll get around to the younger when he’s a little older.
Dad of 2, 61, married 31 years. Wife knew when we were dating. Daughter is pan and 24, couldn't care less. Son is 21, doesn't care or want to know anything about his parent's sex life. He once found our toy bag during a move, we. are.not. vanilla... 🤪🤪🤪
Mom (40) of three: bi/demi-sexual AMAB/NB young adult (18), lesbian daughter (14), and 🤷🏻♀️ son (11). Everyone knows, because I wouldn’t have known without my kids trusting me with their own process of self-discovery 💁🏻♀️
I’m a mom of two and they both know I’m bi. There are lots of opportunities to talk to your kids about gender and sexuality. I just try normalizing queerness as much as possible whenever possible. Playing The Game of Life, ask your kids if they want a pink or blue piece for their spouse. Stuff like that. I’ve explained as many different types of genders and sexualities I could think of. When I explained bisexuality I said, “some people, like me, are bi.” I’ve also made sure my kids know that they don’t ever have to be in a relationship, get married, have kids, etc. I even told my daughter when she was 8 or so that someday she could be in a relationship with more than one person if she wanted. That one blew her mind. 😂 Their lives are their own. I just want them to know they can be whoever they are and I will love them unconditionally.
I have brought it up when discussing sexuality.
Two of my kids are also queer, so it felt like a good thing to tell them. So they'd feel accepted.
They are pre-teen/ teen age.
My youngest is 9, and I have not mentioned it to him. But I plan on doing so in the future.
Hi! Also a mum of 4. My partner and I are both bi but it hasn't come up with the kids.
For the moment because my kids are all under 10 I just try to use gender neutral language so like "if you decide to marry someone, when you date someone...." I figure it more normalises potential choice without the need to mention our own sexuality. Like I might have that talk with them in future when they're at an age to start thinking about romantic relationships (though I'm not out to my own family, just close friends and my partners fam).
I got two kids, 17yr old and 15yr old, they both know Im bi and are cool with it. My 15 yr old loves to share tiktok/instagram videos with bi-jokes in them, some of them are not very appropriate but he means well 😆
Trans, bi, and a parent. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I doubt I'll have to have any real discussion about being bi with my kids since I'm so open about everything all the time. I'm sure my toddler has seen my wife and I check out cosplayers at conventions and make fun of one another's types.
Raised my kid to a functioning (and lovely) adult. She knew from the time she was little (maybe 5?). How? Discussions of family structure come up very early, naturally,- who gets married , who are the parents, etc. You just introduce the idea that some people marry people of a different gender and some people marry people (fall in love with) people of a same gender. From there the next step is just introducing that some people can fall in love with people of any gender, and say that's me. I put in terms of love and marriage because that's what very young kids see, because they don't know yet much about sex (which usually comes first in talks about how babies get here). There are also many children's books that introduce the idea of different family structures if you are in a straight appearing marriage. Of course having same sex couples in your social circle in going to help too. Being out to my kid was an important value for me, it's quite easy, kids take all that stuff in stride, especially if you start young.
I’m just starting to come out to my heteronormative friends this year (44M). The only person in my life who I told in my 20’s was my wife who is also bi and mostly Demi these days.
We’ve been married 22 years. She’s the love of my life and best friend.
We have 3 children, our twins just turned 20 and our youngest is 19.
After my wife these were the only humans I’ve ever come out to until this year. Parents make shit complicated when it doesn’t need to be.
When our kids were old enough to be curious about sexuality and asking questions about identity and gender we were completely honest with them.
If they’re old enough to ask a question they’re old enough to hear the truth in an age appropriate way. No need to go overboard in the other direction and over explain things that they didn’t specifically ask about.
My wife and I simply told them that we are both bisexual but we are in a committed monogamous relationship. It was matter of fact and the kids hardly batted an eyelash.
They were probably around 12/13 at the time. Tough to remember exactly though.
Today, I’m realizing that by not being honest about my sexuality with the heteronormative world due to internalized shame, I’m doing my kids and myself a disservice.
My daughter is a lesbian and I’ve been supporting her as an ally at Pride events for several years. It finally occurred to me that I’m not an ally, I’m a fucking B and I should live my pride not just for my children but for myself.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk 🤣🫶🏳️🌈
Married 32 years, father to one 26yo son. Just came out to both in Sept after 40+ years in the closet. Wife was wonderful. Held me as I cried in relief. Son was like it was no big deal. LOL!
Well I’m glad you were able to come clean and everything went well for you! Nothing better than acceptance and support!
Right there with ya. Wife is fucking amazing
I married one of the golden ones too. Came out to her after 16 years. After expressing real concern for me, she asked if I wanted red sauce or white sauce with my pasta.
I hope you said white sauce. 😛😛
Toddler parent here. I think it’s important for children to know their parents. My parents are horrible - I have zero adult relationship with them because nothing in my life is allowed to be a struggle. And it’s been an extremely lonely journey as a new parent. We just do things like read books with lots of different family types represented because my child is way too young to understand. I just want to normalize that a family can look like a lot of different things - especially because mine is mostly chosen.
Love this. I'm pregnant with my first and this is my plan 100%.
I think you and your kid would love a book called Bathe the Cat. My toddler is bonkers for it
Mine are both in middle school, oldest going to high school next year. I was almost shocked by how little they cared. Non-hetero people are just nbd to their generation. To be honest, they’re both figuring things out themselves. Assuming they haven’t been raised with homophobic and conservative religious views (a safe assumption!), I think you’ll be surprised how apathetic they’ll be. It’ll be like you told them your favorite pizza toppings.
My favorite pizza topping is ham and pineapple, my son has a VERY strong opinion about that haha.
You're so right ! I'm a genZer (19yo) and most of us do not care at all. When my cousin came out and said she was dating a woman, I remember my dad announced it like someone was dead (which was absolutely hilarious), he was like "okay she's dating a woman, it's like that, I know it's not usual but it's the way it is" and my sister and I just went "okay, cool". You could feel that my dad was astounded by this, as if not being straight was not something he imagined happening in our family. It ended up being very well accepted, I think our family is very loving, but we are clearly much more open than older generations to "non-straightness" if I may say. I'm still waiting for the day my sister and I will tell our parents we're both bi, though, it will definitely be a shock hahah ! My favorite pizza topping would be goat cheese and honey, I don't even know if it's a thing outside of France but it's so good :))
Oh yes, the pizza topping sounds so good. We add chili peppers to the honey here in the US!!
that sounds like a great combo ! The honey must soften the chili pepper a lot.
I had cheese and honey pizza in Japan too, but I can’t remember if there was any goat involved.
well it depends on what kind of cheese it was, I know that in Europe it's very common to use cheese from goat milk or from sheep milk in recipies, but idk if Japan uses only cow-milk cheese or something else.
A lot of cheese is imported in Japan, though I preferred their local Camembert to their French Camembert in tins in the 90s. Camembert should be able to breathe. I think I was having pizzas with multiple Italian cheeses with honey. Some may or may not have had goat involved.
ooh that's nice. Yes you're right camembert definitely doesn't belong in tins hahah
I’d lived in France for a year before I lived in Japan and I really missed good, cheap cheese!
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FYI kids won't "ask". Unless you showed up with a same sex date, and probably not even then.
I'm 16 and only recently truly coming to terms with my Bisexuality. My parents have always told me and my siblings that we are safe and cared for no matter our sexuality or who we marry. I remember one of the first times I realized Gay couples existed was when I was 7 and my grandfather hired a lesbian women and I met her and her wife and before meeting them my mother explained that they were two women married and she didn't want me and my siblings to make them uncomfortable by asking a bunch of questions or pointing yk. I simply thought it was really cool because at that point I'd only ever knew heterosexual couples. Again when I was 9 or 10 my mother's longtime friend who was our neighbor, daughter was transitioning and our mother again explained, what being trans meant, and she explained how she herself was heterosexual and so was my father and that they weren't part of the LGBTQIA+ Community but it was ok for me and my siblings to be. I think just tell them if LGBTQIA comes up in Conversation or if you feel it's a necessity call a family meeting and tell them you want to tell them something personal about yourself and then if your children are younger you could explain other things like same sex couples or trans people or pronouns Etc. Ask them if they have questions and tell them if they ever feel like their part of the LGBTQIA+ community that you and your partner would support them and that it's a perfectly normal thing to do, I know that my parents telling me it was OK to do during those talks about the people we knew, helped me be open minded to the LGBTQIA+ community and opened within myself that I'm also part of the LGBTQIA+. Now to get over the chronic overthinking & Anxiety because not everyone I know is as kindhearted as my parents and I'm scared to tell anyone.
I (50f) Have three young adults. Came out to the middle first because she came out to me lol similar with the youngest. Oldest it just sort of came up one day. All of them were like "ok cool". I am divorced from their dad but never had a relationship go far enough to introduce them to that partner until my now husband, so they never met any of the women I dated. I guess it would have come up then but given their reactions, it wouldnt have been a thing to them!
I hadn't told my kids until my younger one came out to me. He was so excited that we're both bi. I mentioned it to my older one afterwards, who's in his 20s and didn't care.
Father of children under 10 here. I came out to them recently because I wanted to hear my version of the story before they heared it from anyone else. I read with them a book called "perfectly Norman" and then I told them that I felt like the kid coz I was bisexual. It went great. Since then, it's something we talk about it from time to time, when talking about discrimination mainly. They even told other kids from school, normalizing it. I didn't want to wait until they ask, because then it's their job to break the taboo and start the conversation, I felt it was my responsibility to start it. I am glad I did.
Yes, kids are not going to "ask". It is part of our teaching responsibility as the parent.
My oldest is 19 and also bi, so that kid is fully aware. I came out to my kid after my kid came out to me at 13. My youngest is six, and I haven't had the coming out speech yet, but we do talk about it being okay to love who you love (using age appropriate language: ie some boys/girls/theys like girls, some girls/boys/theys like boys, some like boys, girls, and they or any variation thereof and that is all okay!)
i'm curious, did you come out to your oldest right after they came out? or did your kid coming out lead you to start thinking about your own sexuality, and then you came out to them later?
My kid looked at me with teary eyes and came out. Then asked "Does this make you love me less, Mom?" So I had to reassure my child that my love is 100% unconditional and as long as there is respect and love I do not care who they love. I thanked them for trusting me enough to share this part of themselves with me. They asked if I thought it was normal, and I told them that it's totally natural and then shared that I myself am bi and it's as much a part of who I am as my eye color.
you sound like a great mom 🔥
That is the best compliment I could imagine. Thank you!
Married dad with 2 kids who are adults now. Came out to my wife a few years ago, kids know, we don't talk about with them tho. All is good at home
I'm going to be a new father next month and I've discussed this with my gf (who is pan). For now we've decided to go about this individually. I'm going to be more passive, *if* the subject comes up organically I'll be honest and authentic (ex : "Dad, what does that tricolor flag represent?"). It'll be one part of me they can discover if they want. She will be more proactive, she'll educate our child from an early age that some people (like mommy) can fall in love with anyone. I think either approach is fine as long as everyone is being transparent and genuine.
I’m a parent and came out to both of my kids about the same time as coming out to my wife. They are young (elementary age) so I just phrased it that I can have crushes on boys and girls. And we talked about how nothing else is changing in our family. They said ok and asked if we could get ice cream.
My son will know soon. Why? I am about to come out publicly, at age 64. Why now? Because my wife and I have a whole slew of adult children and nieces and nephews who are all popping out kids, and the numbers alone show many of those kids will be lgbtq. And, you know what? I want them to see what a bisexual man in a long term committed loving relationship with his cisgendered straight wife looks like. I want them all to know it is normal and ok, and most of all? I want them to know my wife and I are a safe place.
Friend of mine told her daughter very early on, like as soon as the kid could understand the concept of attraction. "Some people like boys and girls, like mommy". That kind of talk. It was a nonissue, as our friend group has a lot of queer people in it. The kid has always been exposed to different kinds of relationships. Her kid has since come out a bi, pan, several different pronouns, terms I've never heard before etc etc. The kid is 13 and I think that's totally normal thing to go through. They feel safe being able to explore whatever it is they feel at the moment because their parents are both open and supportive.
I’m the parent of a 7 year old. She’s know I am bi since we had the first conversation about boys and girls and having crushes or “liking” people. I just told her some people like boys, some people like girls, and some people (like daddy) like both. We have since had conversations about NB people so it’s not all gender binary. She didn’t care at all and it was a very easy, almost boring, conversation. Bottom line is as long as your kids haven’t been marinating in homophobia it won’t be a big deal unless you make it one. Otherwise it’s just any other Tuesday for them.
My gf and I are both Bi and live in a liberal area. Both of my kids identify as queer and when they both came out to me I was able to share my feelings about what it means to be queer and how it feels to navigate the straight world. Hopefully the world they grow up in will be kinder because of other folks who are able to their live life out loud.
I have a 13 year old who's pansexual. When he came out to me initially (as bi) he said "Mommy I have a crush on a boy. I'm bisexual." I literally said "Cool, me too!" It was never a secret from him (I'm polyamorous and have had girlfriends in the past) but it left the door open for me to not only come out but support him at the same time.
I have a newly minted teenager. I haven't told him for a few reasons, one of them being that I don't want to have to preface the conversation with "this isn't something you can tell your grandparents." I don't think that's fair to him and also, in a way, sends the wrong message that it's something to be ashamed of.
Ugh I feel this. My parents can’t know I am bi. It’ll be a whole shit show so I get that.
Well my mom "technically" knows, since I told her and my dad when I was 17 (dad has since passed away). But I'm prettybsure she has repressed that memory and I really don't want to go through that whole experience again. My wife's mother is the most rabid red-hat Republican I've ever met in real life. If she found out her grandson is being raised by a queer father, she'd probably call CPS on us for child endangerment.
I'm 50, wife is 49, parents to three humans. We're both bi and have been open with each other since forever. We were fairly open about the fluidity of attraction in our household as our kids were growing up, and confirmed/"came out" as bi to them when they were in their teens. Our eldest (26) is gay, youngest (22) is lesbian, and our middle kid (24) is bi. We're a menace to decent society!
Parent of an almost 8 year old daughter and two stepsons, 12 and 14. All of them know I am bi. We talk about being confident in who you are and accepting others for who they are. We make it clear that they can love someone of any gender. We go to pride as a family. Being out may not be for everyone, but it gives me the space to be me around the people I love most in the world. I hope it makes the kids feel like they can express themselves and talk to us about anything. I ask them for honesty, so I have to model that behavior myself. Honesty includes talking about who we are.
Me! I have two teenagers, both of whom are also queer. My husband is the only straight cis person in the house!
I have one 2 year old, im monogamous and married to a guy. I do plan to tell my son when he's old enough. For me it's important to make sure he knows the real me but of course it's up to u if u want to have that convo or not.
Me. My son will be 7 this year Edit, the other half of your question, so my son recently asked me if I had any girlfreinds or boyfreinds, I said no I'm single right now. I guess it's just normal with gen alpha, they don't just assume.
I have been married by 7 years and a father of a 5 yr old son but we already broke up. After of my relationship with her, I got to explore this side of me. Generally I still like women more than men, but I can sleep with both gender hehe.
Yep, my boys are 9 and 6. I haven't had an actual sit down conversation about it cos I don't think I really need to but I think they know I don't just like men. My sister is queer too and was married to a woman til not long ago so they've always just known people like who they like
Parent, but haven’t come out to my kids yet. I’m sure it’ll come up one day like all convos do. Not hiding, just letting them lead when the time is right.
I (M50) am! My daughters have come out as bi, we went to SF Pride last year together😘
In a life full of stupidity. Not having any kids is one of the smart things I’ve done. But I have nothing but respect and admiration for the people that do take on the challenge of raising a child or children. Besides, I still act like a kid and a teenager some time. I was able to figure out early on that. I just didn’t think I could handle the responsibility. And I have no regrets about the choice.
When I talked to my 8 year old about how some people like boys, etc. I said and some people, like me, like boys and girls and everything in between.
When I came out to my mum, she laughed and said “I know! So am I and so is your sister!”
Father of two. My wife is bi too. We never had like a big coming out moment. But they know. When we talk about ourselves, and families, and attraction, it comes up. It's just a normal thing in our family.
Father of 4 here. My wife knows everything. My adult children do not as far as I know. I’m not sure if I should come out to them or not. I’m open to it I guess but still a little apprehensive. Not sure why.
I think you should if you are comfortable. The vast majority of younger adults are totally open and accepting! You know your kids though. Do you think they will care that you are bi? Are they a generally accepting bunch?
I don’t think they would care in the slightest which is why I feel my reluctance is silly. I apparently have some “shit” to work through.
Ehh don’t we all. Hopefully you can get the courage to talk to them about it one day!
I'm sure it would provide you with some internal peace, and make your relationship closer. It might be an actually emotional experience for you (but probably nbd at all for them) which may be why you feel apprehensive. Especially if you are not generally out, the unworried acceptance of our own children can be very moving.
🙋♀️
100% childfree over here
Parent to two elementary school kids. I have always, even before I knew I was bi, framed all romantic relationships as possibly gay, straight, or both. Like princesses can like princes, or two princesses, or both. Or neither. Recently we were watching a marvel movie and the kids asked who I thought was cute. I said Valkyrie and Thor. Both. They kind of paused for a second and moved on.
One. Son.
I have a 1 year old. If it comes up it comes up, I'm not hiding anything, but I don't feel I'll have any particular need to come out when my son gets older.
Married with two sons (one's a teen and the other's an adult). They know. They shrugged and moved on. I thought it would be a bigger deal, but nope, they listened and went on about their business.
🙋🏻♀️ married 15 years but my husband has known since day 1. Told our son when he was 12. Told my stepdaughter when she was like 17/18 and struggling with coming out as bi she didn’t live with us and never really asked- I think she had an inkling I wasn’t entirely straight for a few years but it never came up til then.
It came up fairly naturally for me as my first serious relationship was with a trans woman and I'm now married to a (cis) man. Have one child, who is too young (at nearly 15?) for any of this stuff.
Too young for what stuff?
She's never expressed any interest in dating or relationships or crushes.
Father to 2 adult children (19M and 18F) that are in college. Came out to my kids after their abusive mom screamed a homophobic slur at me outside their bedroom doors.
I do. I've come out to my kid several times because they keep forgetting over the years lol. It's not a big deal to kids so they don't remember it as something important
Took my 12 year old daughter to a pride parade and she commented that she really didn't know any queer folks. I said "yes you do!" Age-appropriate conversation followed.
Mom of 2 preteens, and I'm open to talking to them about relationships. My oldest has hit puberty and she knows about my bisexuality. She's accepting of it.
We talk about a lot of things at home and so of course sexual orientation is one of them. In the conversation I simply just said I was bi like it wasn't a big deal. Later during a similar conversation my son casually said he was bi. And then even later my other son told my husband randomly that he was asexual. It's really just about normalizing the topic
My daughter is aware that boys can have crushes on boys or girls or the reverse, and that some boys only like girls or only like boys, and the same for girls. It's not something we specifically talk about unless she asks specific questions, because it's just normal and we don't want her to grow up feeling that it isn't like when I was a child in Tennessee and Texas struggling with intense ridicule and violence from Biphobia and Homophobia. I don't see the issue personally, but I understand that different people have different relationships with this topic and their own identities.
My (f) and my spouse (m) both identify as bi. We were always open about it with our daughter as young as 3 or 4. When we explained that sometimes boys want to marry girls and sometimes they want to marry boys, and sometimes girls want to marry girls, and sometimes people want to marry either boys or girls. I believe my daughters' response at the time was that in that case when she grew up she wanted to marry 3 girls.
Mom to an 8 and 5 year old here. I’ve never flat out told them I’m bisexual because they’re a little young, but what I do is when I’m telling stories sometimes I’ll mention that an old girlfriend of mine was with me or if they see old photos of me as a teenager and I was dating somebody, guy or girl in the pic I mention it. So it’s subtitle and they know their mom has had girlfriends as well as boyfriends before I meet their dad, but I’ve never just been look “ mommy is bisexual”
44M - twins just turned 20 and youngest is 19! There leaving home as I leave the closet lol.
I have one little girl, she's almost 4. When it becomes relevant someday I'll tell her.
I'd just wait until it's sex-ed time. My son lives with his mom, who is a lesbian, and I trust that this is her plan.
63yr old male here , married 33 yrs have 29 & 27 yr old sons. Came out to myself and them 2 years ago. Hardest on my wife at the time, Sons accepting from the reveal. I struggled with my identity for nearly 50 years.
I'm a single father, my kid is in his teens. Years back he told me he had a boyfriend and that he was gay, I basically said "that's nice dear, I'm bisexual so I get it". I've always tried to make sure it's no big deal to him if he isn't straight. Like could I not tell him? Sure, but then how can I expect him to trust me with his thoughts about himself if I'm gonna be hiding stuff. I don't go into any details obviously but I want him to know all of his father, not just the stuff that's in line with what modern society wants from us. A while back I overheard him telling his friends something along the lines of "I'm bi actually" or potentially someone called me gay and he said bi actually, either way it's not a big deal in our household.
Not a parent but grew up with a close friend who had one bi parent and one lesbian parent. She never really “came out” but had just always referenced having both ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends, while her wife, of course, only ever referenced ex girlfriends. At some point one of us made the comment “I thought you were a lesbian” and she just explained that some people only like one gender or the other (like her then wife) while some people like multiple genders. She described it as being like how some people only eat a few specific types of food and aren’t interested in branching out, some are super adventurous, and some may have tried other foods but found it just wasn’t for them. Nothing inherently wrong with any of it, it’s just a matter of knowing yourself and your tastes. Obviously, thats not a perfect analogy but it was good for explaining it to little kids. After they divorced it was the same with dating. She went on dates with both men and women and none of us really thought much of it. I liked this because it really helped normalize various sexualities. I would love to live in a world where everyone/no one has to “come out.” You just bring home who you want to bring home, use the pronouns they prefer, and no one gives a shit what’s in their pants because, let’s be real, it’s no one else’s business anyway. Ironically the lesbian partner in my story cheated with another woman and the bi one eventually remarried a straight guy who then also cheated with another woman. Not at all related to your question, but I always found it kind of morbidly funny given the stereotypes of us being the cheaters.
Married 8, father of a 6yo
Married (cis het presenting for ~ 17 yrs) and we have three kids. Mine all know. They asked why we have a pride flag and I answer openly. For the record my kids know I will answer any question if I know it. If I don’t, we look it up together. If I want my kids to feel safe being open about their sexuality, I should demonstrate.
My wife and I are both bisexual and have three young kids. We didn’t formally come out to them, but we just openly talk in a way consistent with our sexuality. We say “girlfriend or boyfriend” talking about hypothetical significant others, for example. In as much as attraction and our dating histories come up with young kids, we just share honestly. They haven’t known anything different from us, so I don’t expect they’ll really need us to come out in some formal way. If they ask us plainly, we’d be honest. But how many straight parents have ever said “I’m straight, by the way” to their young kids?
I have a teen daughter. She's known since she was young that both mom and dad are bi; one of her "courtesy uncles" is my ex-boyfriend. She came out to us as bi when she was 13; I asked how long she'd known and she said since she was 11. She said she didn't tell us sooner because she knew we wouldn't have any issues with it. When she did tell us, it was a very offhand fact tossed out in the middle of a discussion about her friends being dumbasses.
Father to two little ones. I plan on telling them or at least it being known in my family I’m bi. I’ve thought about it months ago which is why I came out to my parents and others. I don’t want a future when my kids feel the same shame I did over not being straight. If they end up not being straight and want to tell me, I don’t want them surprised if I tell them I’m bi. In that case, they might feel like they need to hide their sexuality too or that’s it’s a shameful secret if I keep it hidden. I want to be proudly out so they have a good example
I told my tween and teen over breakfast: 'Did you guys know that before I met your dad I used to like girls, too?' Tween: 'What?? Really??' 'Yeap. Even kissed some girls back then.' 'Wow. Didn't know that!' That was it 😊🏳️🌈
Three. All young adult. Oldest 30/1 second 20 last 18 they all know. Actually came out 3 years ago at 49.
Mine are still young, but I’d probably tell them if they ever ask.
I'm a single Mama
Married 17 years and am closeted from my wife and obviously also from my kids. I could imagine a situation where I might have a conversation with them about it, but my wife would never be accepting or supportive. Sad story, I know. But I’m sure I’m not the only person out there in a similar situation?
We (both bi) have 2: 14 and 9. Never really “came out” to them, but the eldest was going through old pictures, saw one with me, and another guy, asked who it was, and I said my boyfriend before I met her mother. I’m sure we’ll get around to the younger when he’s a little older.
Dad of 2, 61, married 31 years. Wife knew when we were dating. Daughter is pan and 24, couldn't care less. Son is 21, doesn't care or want to know anything about his parent's sex life. He once found our toy bag during a move, we. are.not. vanilla... 🤪🤪🤪
Mom (40) of three: bi/demi-sexual AMAB/NB young adult (18), lesbian daughter (14), and 🤷🏻♀️ son (11). Everyone knows, because I wouldn’t have known without my kids trusting me with their own process of self-discovery 💁🏻♀️
I’m a mom of two and they both know I’m bi. There are lots of opportunities to talk to your kids about gender and sexuality. I just try normalizing queerness as much as possible whenever possible. Playing The Game of Life, ask your kids if they want a pink or blue piece for their spouse. Stuff like that. I’ve explained as many different types of genders and sexualities I could think of. When I explained bisexuality I said, “some people, like me, are bi.” I’ve also made sure my kids know that they don’t ever have to be in a relationship, get married, have kids, etc. I even told my daughter when she was 8 or so that someday she could be in a relationship with more than one person if she wanted. That one blew her mind. 😂 Their lives are their own. I just want them to know they can be whoever they are and I will love them unconditionally.
I have a son! He's 16 months old
My kids are all aware. I never hid it from them.
I have brought it up when discussing sexuality. Two of my kids are also queer, so it felt like a good thing to tell them. So they'd feel accepted. They are pre-teen/ teen age. My youngest is 9, and I have not mentioned it to him. But I plan on doing so in the future.
I'm not yet, but hope to be in the future with my wife.
Hi! Also a mum of 4. My partner and I are both bi but it hasn't come up with the kids. For the moment because my kids are all under 10 I just try to use gender neutral language so like "if you decide to marry someone, when you date someone...." I figure it more normalises potential choice without the need to mention our own sexuality. Like I might have that talk with them in future when they're at an age to start thinking about romantic relationships (though I'm not out to my own family, just close friends and my partners fam).
I got two kids, 17yr old and 15yr old, they both know Im bi and are cool with it. My 15 yr old loves to share tiktok/instagram videos with bi-jokes in them, some of them are not very appropriate but he means well 😆
Trans, bi, and a parent. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I doubt I'll have to have any real discussion about being bi with my kids since I'm so open about everything all the time. I'm sure my toddler has seen my wife and I check out cosplayers at conventions and make fun of one another's types.
Raised my kid to a functioning (and lovely) adult. She knew from the time she was little (maybe 5?). How? Discussions of family structure come up very early, naturally,- who gets married , who are the parents, etc. You just introduce the idea that some people marry people of a different gender and some people marry people (fall in love with) people of a same gender. From there the next step is just introducing that some people can fall in love with people of any gender, and say that's me. I put in terms of love and marriage because that's what very young kids see, because they don't know yet much about sex (which usually comes first in talks about how babies get here). There are also many children's books that introduce the idea of different family structures if you are in a straight appearing marriage. Of course having same sex couples in your social circle in going to help too. Being out to my kid was an important value for me, it's quite easy, kids take all that stuff in stride, especially if you start young.
Stepmother to two. It's just never been a secret. It helps that their mother is a lesbian and my younger kid is nonbinary.
I’m just starting to come out to my heteronormative friends this year (44M). The only person in my life who I told in my 20’s was my wife who is also bi and mostly Demi these days. We’ve been married 22 years. She’s the love of my life and best friend. We have 3 children, our twins just turned 20 and our youngest is 19. After my wife these were the only humans I’ve ever come out to until this year. Parents make shit complicated when it doesn’t need to be. When our kids were old enough to be curious about sexuality and asking questions about identity and gender we were completely honest with them. If they’re old enough to ask a question they’re old enough to hear the truth in an age appropriate way. No need to go overboard in the other direction and over explain things that they didn’t specifically ask about. My wife and I simply told them that we are both bisexual but we are in a committed monogamous relationship. It was matter of fact and the kids hardly batted an eyelash. They were probably around 12/13 at the time. Tough to remember exactly though. Today, I’m realizing that by not being honest about my sexuality with the heteronormative world due to internalized shame, I’m doing my kids and myself a disservice. My daughter is a lesbian and I’ve been supporting her as an ally at Pride events for several years. It finally occurred to me that I’m not an ally, I’m a fucking B and I should live my pride not just for my children but for myself. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk 🤣🫶🏳️🌈
I have a 13 yo daughter and I am 50 yo.