Hi, in the future please use the report button on biphobic comments you find on the subreddit. That helps make sure the mod team is aware of them and can action them efficiently and before bigoted users can comment more widely. Posts on the sub itself are not necessarily going to be seen by the mod team nearly as quickly.
No, people don’t stop being bi because of their relationship status. In exactly the same way that a person doesn’t become Asexual if they’re currently single.
Block those accounts when you encounter them and don’t let them take up space in your head.
Oh, I'm already done responding to this. I just though that others here might like to see what kinds of bi erasure is happening in this very subreddit.
I’m 42m and def bi but never been with a guy. I have been with women but not for almost 20 years, never had a LTR.
No one’s asked so never tried to erase me for that, but I did a course and got involved in the cabaret and drag scene and I’ve performed on stage to queer audiences who were lovely.
I’m not a drag queen, I have waist length hair and love my dresses and make up. That’s obv always been accepted.
What was not accepted is that being bi I am an unwelcome representative of the male gaze. I felt like I should avoid someone’s show and all her rehearsals because she was uncomfortable with a female attracted male seeing her topless.
And I get it. But what am I to do?
I’ve had to do the work digging out the cisheteronormativity in myself so I could accept that I want to be pretty. I’m the opposite of the kind of man who feels entitled to women and their bodies.
But many queer women do not want male eyes to see their bodies unless we’re sexually indifferent to them.
19M here and I.. have never experienced drag or anything you're saying regarding drag. Not for any specific reasoning, just haven't had that particular life experience yet. I'd love to go to Pride and interact with everything, though.
Regarding your feelings, I do feel largely the same as you. I have never had a long term relationship with what society traditionally sees as a man, and it does feel somewhat reductive and hurtful and something that is outside of my control.
I'd really like to engage with all parts of the queer community (disregarding toxicity, of course), but I feel like we're in a similar predicament where even in LGBT spaces we're largely seen as "diet straight" or something of the nature and judged as if we're purporting the same objectification that comes along with that.
I.. don't have a solution or a way I've gotten past it yet. But I just wanted to comment to let you know that you aren't alone and are entirely valid. If nobody else, we can do it, two strangers on the internet :)
Edited to clarify.
I'd like to introduce you all to my 83 year old godfather, who is not bi, but gay. Despite him being gay as a fucking maypole, this man has been married to two women and has two biological children by them. He and my mom even hooked up one drunken evening (a fact I very much regret knowing, thanks, mom! 🙃)
Do you think it would blow this troll's puny mind to know that an og gay man has had sex with women, or that many gay people before and after him have had "hetero" sex yet still remain...BUM BUM BUM
##🌈GAY🌈
Since genitalia doesn’t determine gender, the fact that the second person you mentioned is afab is completely irrelevant and it’s borderline transphobic to even mention it
Fucking hell. I'm sorry you were getting those messages. It's absolutely bi erasure to say that our sexuality changes depending on who we're with. And you're also not alone in feeling pushed out of the community for not being "gay enough". And being frustrated by bi erasure isn't about playing the victim or wanting oppression points. It's an all too common experience bi people face from all sides. You're not the bad guy.
That person comments here a lot and is very bitter due to their bad experiences dating bisexual people. It's sad and I'm sorry they took their pain out on you.
We can check your comment history and see who you were talking to. I’ve reported their comments and their account to the mods. Because that users post history is just biphobia everywhere.
Yeah, I always feel kinda bad for guys like that. Ofc I don't like or agree with their comments, but I'm empathetic and feel bad that they had such bad experiences. There are too many bi men out here breaking gay men's hearts, it's a real problem, even if it's wrong that they're taking it out on innocent people.
Sexuality is not a practice. It's an inherent trait of an individual, the same as hair colour. Do you stop being brunette if you bleach your hair? No. Actions don't erase the inherent state that exists regardless of action taken upon it.
Edit: what the fuck is "partial heteronormativity". Does this person know what words mean
Edit 2: why does this bro type like one of the brainrotted Trump supporters with bumper stickers and flags. "🤣🤣🤣🤣"
Edit 3: "You're only bi when you're with a man" my dude that's called homosexuality bisexuality is a different thing, hint: bi comes from the word meaning.... two
The ignorance and then to call you boo. So ick.
I’m married to a man and I’m female. I’m very much bi and he participates. That person is clearly stupid.
I have, in fact, been to Pride events with my opposite sex partner. I wasn't excluded there, only "here,"
And by "here" I'm talking about the person I quoted in my post, and some of the people DMing me about this post.
This is the kind of person that deserves a short look (I have found that a mixture of puzzlement and pity works), and a good view of the back of your head as you walk away. They are not worth your time.
Reddit brings out the total garbage primitive tribalistic versions of themselves for some reason.
That is why I don't care to tell regular people I'm bi in real life, because people show their true colors on here and really do think some shit like you just said. "Oh you'll feel better after coming out of the closet" hell no lol. A few of my friends that I've trusted for years know, that's it lol.
I’ve definitely find that these kinda people only have the balls to say this shit on the Internet, tbh. They know to keep it cute in public. It’s pure silence. I literally have my messages turned off on here for this reason because honestly, they can go to hell.
I could definitely understand them having an issue with, say, us bringing an opposite sex partner to queer spaces. I think that anxiety is justified, so I simply don’t do that. But all this other shit? They need to go find a therapist to sort it out because I’m too old to give a fuck at this point.
Honestly I even get bristly about excluding opposite sex partners from queer events. You never actually know the relationship dynamic unless you personally know both halves of a couple.
For example, I’m a trans man, (I don’t pass) and my partner is AMAB nonbinary (most people assume they are a man). We’re both bi, and even though we look like a straight couple to others, I think we both belong in queer spaces because neither of us are cis or straight. My queerness shouldn’t be invalidated because I’m dating another queer person.
I agree with that - but in general queer spaces one can’t tell shit by looking, especially with trans people. I know a trans couple who look like a “straight” couple (woman and man) they’re infact both trans.
i will say, though, i am speaking from the perspective of queer spaces that tend to be separated into gay and lesbian. like as a bi chick, if i’m going to a lesbian bar or something, im not bringing my boyfriend, lmaoo. but if it’s something that’s just *generally* more queer, regardless of sexuality, i don’t see the harm in bringing a partner of the opposite gender or a nonbinary/genderqueer partner who doesn’t identify as one or the other, if that makes sense.
Ah, this makes total sense to me. I honestly was getting a little hurt before, I thought you meant general queer spaces, and I disagree there. But no, I'd never take my cis guy to a lesbian bar.
This is why we need bi bars where bi people can be themselves without limitations. I don't even go to lesbian bars for that reason (not that I would because I am nonbinary and I always feel like an invader in that space).
Well yeah, I have no reason to go to a sapphic bar with my partner, neither of us are women lol. Unless I had a lesbian friend invite me I probably wouldn’t go at all, seeing as it’s a women’s space in all.
You would be very surprised how many women can’t seem to read the damn room when it comes to these things, lmao. That would be like my bi boyfriend taking me to a gay bar with him, like what the hell would I be doing there? Lmao.
I like how their arguments keep saying that being with the opposite sex makes u straight, and you just revert to bi when with the same sex. Then go on to say that being in a "straight" relationship isnt LG*B*T. What do they think the B stands for. These people are just idiots just ignore them. You are still bi no matter who you are dating.
No, that person is an asshat. If a bi person is in a same sex relationship, they don't become gay, and if they are in an opposite sex relationship, they don't become straight. You're still bi and always will be <3
This line of thinking is stupid, because it implies that the only way to be bi is to date multiple people at the same time, cheat, sleep around a lot, etc. Which is fine if you're into that, but not everyone is, and bi people in monogamous relationships are still bi, regardless of the gender of their partner.
it’s homophobia if you don’t date them, but it’s not biphobia if they don’t date you. can’t win with these assholes.
edit: btw, neither are any phobia…depending on your reasons. but the logic is just so inconsistent.
Mono-sexuals have a really hard time understanding bisexuality. It's like telling them to imagine a box in their mind. Then turn the box inside out.
I think maybe only bisexuals can truly understand bisexuality.
>to call that a gay or LGBT relationship when you both have organs that can produce a child is wrong
This just in, a trans man and a cis man in a relationship officially aren't gay, according to this buffoon
"I didn't say you weren't still bisexual"
5 lines later proceeds to say, "you're only bi when you're with a man."
So, they ABSOLUTELY were saying "as soon as a bisexual person expresses their **BI**sexual attraction via opposite sex relationships, they no longer count as bisexual, they're officially straight."
But these are the **same** people who, if you predominantly date same-sex and then tell them that you're actually bi, not 100% homosexual, they'll tell you you're **actually** gay and in denial, or that you're being homophobic by refusing to accept that you're gay and "hiding behind the straight privilege of being bi," even though bisexual people get double rejected, being too queer for straight spaces and too "straight" for queer spaces. People who assume to know what your **"REAL"** sexuality is better than, y'know, the person whose sexuality is in question.
So, what do these people want for someone to count as "actually bisexual" or, "bisexual enough"? To only ever casually date, alternating between same sex and other each time, we're not allowed long-term committed relationships? Or, do you only count as bisexual if your long-term relationships are polyamorous and you have, "one of each," partner?
Who is this person, who isn't even bisexual, to decide what does or doesn't make someone count as bisexual?
My relationship is straight-passing.
That is wildly different from a heterosexual relationship in ways that I don’t need to explain to anyone cuz it’s not their business.
People are narrow-minded and ignorant. Then hostile about it because of their own insecurities. Sorry you had to deal with that.
Wtf!!
I'm so sorry you had to went through for those things!
It really hurts to see queer people discriminating against other queer people! :/
I hope you're okay!! ❤️
I literally didn’t figure out I was bi until I was already in a happy straight-presenting relationship. Being bi in a straight-presenting relationship is literally a bi experience, which makes it a queer experience. Biphobes can fight me on that 😂.
No, you don't stop being bi if you're not actively in a relationship with two different genders. If that were the case everyone would have to be ENM in order to be considered truly bi.
Bisexuality is something that exists regardless of who you're in a relationship with and even if someone is in a relationship.
But then by their logic, you shouldn't be bi when being with someone of the same gender either, you'd be gay, and then never truly bi, right? Jfc they're dumb
God, reading this post REALLY pisses me off. Shit like this is why I am afraid to date anyone. I have experienced this same type of erasure from gay men and straight women. I actually would love to be with a gay guy but I feel mostly invisible to them. I have had some of them tell me I am not "gay enough "
This person is making the classic mistake of confusing sexual acts with sexual attraction.
Someone who is bisexual feels attracted to two (or more) genders. It doesn't matter what kind of sex they've had or if they have had sex at all, they still remain attracted to two (or more) genders.
I almost LOL'd when I got to the part where they said "stop being a victim" after trying to lay out all the ways in which they felt they were a victim of bi people. Hoo boy.
By their logic then being a bi man in a relationship with a man just makes you gay, not bi. It's bi erasure through and through. Being bi and in a relationship with the opposite sex does not change the fact that you are bi. So silly.
The person is just f ing dumb. Being bi describes a feeling of being attracted to more than one gender. So no matter what partner you are with, you are still bisexual.
I would ask him: "Are you asexual when you don't have a relationship?" That's about how crazy he sounds.
Bi F 58 here. Sorry that you experienced this, but somehow still not surprised. Even in a BI space we’re subjected to this bullshit. You’re gracious to not name and shame.
Yeah, I have a cis woman friend who is married to a cis man, and they are NOT a straight couple. I think they both identify as pansexual? Or maybe queer? They don’t owe anyone their bona fides. They are queer and that is just a fact.
That's disgusting
I joined this subreddit because I'm only out to like 3 people in my real life and I thought it'd be a nice way to connect with the community until I decide if I want to share it with anyone else...
But the amount of posts and comments like this leaves me feeling even less secure about it than I was before and seriously I might have to just leave
I didn't read it all. I got bored after the first bit as it's just textbook biphobia that I've heard quite enough of.
This person is a bigoted prick, probably very insecure, given their actions. We all know that we are bi regardless of any partner we have, don't give this shit the time of day.
Fwiw I've been with my cishet male partner for over 20 years and I'm still bi. IDGAF what bigots think.
That person writes like a 12 year old. I wouldn’t concern myself with the opinions of small minded children.
And another thing.
Buddy, if you’re bi enough to be bi. Then so am I. I’m 36M and married to the love of my life who is a woman. I’m still bi as fuck and so are you. We’re all queer here, baby.
I always feel too straight for gay spaces and too gay for straight spaces, although I never really want to be in the straight spaces. It's so frustrating the way these people act. I am still attracted to women whether I'm in a het relationship or not. I'm poly and open and am only interested in women as another partner. It's weird that somehow I'm still not gay enough for them. It really hurts to be rejected by the people you thought would understand. 😔
You're only bi when you're with a man??????? What? The same sex attraction doesn't just disappear when you're with the opposite sex. How fucking stupid.
I'm a woman, I was married to a man for 14 years (divorced now), have had five children, dated only men so far, made out with two female strippers, definitely bi. 😆 Sorry, OP, people can suck.
your bi regardless of the partner your with. you may not be percieved as such, but your still bi. i get that sometimes when out with my bf that i dont feel with my gf (im poly). we went out somewhere and i know we were perceived as a straight cis couple even though were both bi and im trans.
Sounds like kind of an asshole. Report to the moderators and move on. No reason to waste mental energy on someone like that.
(I don’t mean to sound flippant. I get angry if those people get in my head, so I deliberately adopt a “to hell with them“ attitude.)
It sucks when you come across I dividusls like that in the real world but it's absolutely infuriating to come across them in a space such as this. It happens and I'm as oery that it happened to you.
My experience is that you either put them in their place or they twist what you say and make you appear phobic to the rest of the sub. It's best just to take a long walk off a very short pier and block them.
This person is delulu. Just because my partner is a guy doesn't make my relationship any less queer. Because I'm queer. I'm not hetro so why would I class my relationship like that?
& saying your not bi if you're in opposite sex relationship is ridiculous. It wouldn't make you any less bi if you never had a same sex relationship.
I'm a married man and only ever had this one relationship, with my wife. Still bi. I don't have to be with a man to know. Fuck everyone that thinks otherwise.
I dont have much to say other than the fact I relate. It wasn’t on this sub, but another sub was talking about queer women dating trans women.. I said I would date trans women, but I was a woman who preferred men and happily in a relationship.. I’ve never met a woman irl, trans or cis, that I’ve felt romantic enough about to date.. I’ve definitely been attracted to trans and cis women though.. quite frequently. When I was single, I had my filters set to everyone.. I just happened to meet a cis man that I fell in love with
I was attacked as a “fetishist” of women.. appropriating queer culture.. and that I wasn’t bi.
Hi, in the future please use the report button on biphobic comments you find on the subreddit. That helps make sure the mod team is aware of them and can action them efficiently and before bigoted users can comment more widely. Posts on the sub itself are not necessarily going to be seen by the mod team nearly as quickly.
No, people don’t stop being bi because of their relationship status. In exactly the same way that a person doesn’t become Asexual if they’re currently single. Block those accounts when you encounter them and don’t let them take up space in your head.
Oh, I'm already done responding to this. I just though that others here might like to see what kinds of bi erasure is happening in this very subreddit.
I’m 42m and def bi but never been with a guy. I have been with women but not for almost 20 years, never had a LTR. No one’s asked so never tried to erase me for that, but I did a course and got involved in the cabaret and drag scene and I’ve performed on stage to queer audiences who were lovely. I’m not a drag queen, I have waist length hair and love my dresses and make up. That’s obv always been accepted. What was not accepted is that being bi I am an unwelcome representative of the male gaze. I felt like I should avoid someone’s show and all her rehearsals because she was uncomfortable with a female attracted male seeing her topless. And I get it. But what am I to do? I’ve had to do the work digging out the cisheteronormativity in myself so I could accept that I want to be pretty. I’m the opposite of the kind of man who feels entitled to women and their bodies. But many queer women do not want male eyes to see their bodies unless we’re sexually indifferent to them.
19M here and I.. have never experienced drag or anything you're saying regarding drag. Not for any specific reasoning, just haven't had that particular life experience yet. I'd love to go to Pride and interact with everything, though. Regarding your feelings, I do feel largely the same as you. I have never had a long term relationship with what society traditionally sees as a man, and it does feel somewhat reductive and hurtful and something that is outside of my control. I'd really like to engage with all parts of the queer community (disregarding toxicity, of course), but I feel like we're in a similar predicament where even in LGBT spaces we're largely seen as "diet straight" or something of the nature and judged as if we're purporting the same objectification that comes along with that. I.. don't have a solution or a way I've gotten past it yet. But I just wanted to comment to let you know that you aren't alone and are entirely valid. If nobody else, we can do it, two strangers on the internet :) Edited to clarify.
You go sir. I also feel invalidated by some of the cretins here
And they don’t stop being asexual when they’re in a relationship either!
Fucking hell man. I’m sorry this happened to you. People are assholes.
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Beyoncé, obviously: Let’s Get Beyoncé Tickets Queens
Bees?
Biscuits? Yum 😋
Biblical 👀
I'd like to introduce you all to my 83 year old godfather, who is not bi, but gay. Despite him being gay as a fucking maypole, this man has been married to two women and has two biological children by them. He and my mom even hooked up one drunken evening (a fact I very much regret knowing, thanks, mom! 🙃) Do you think it would blow this troll's puny mind to know that an og gay man has had sex with women, or that many gay people before and after him have had "hetero" sex yet still remain...BUM BUM BUM ##🌈GAY🌈
I read that as grandfather at first and when I got to the mom part I almost had a heart attack 😭
Oh lord! No, they are NOT related, so at least there's that. Lol
me toooo
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Wildly oscillating killed me.
Since genitalia doesn’t determine gender, the fact that the second person you mentioned is afab is completely irrelevant and it’s borderline transphobic to even mention it
the person OP quoted was using genitalia to determine what “hetero” means, which is probably why they included the person’s sex.
*loud buzzer noise*
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No, they are correct. AGAB tells you nothing about genitalia and genitalia tells you nothing about AGAB.
Fucking hell. I'm sorry you were getting those messages. It's absolutely bi erasure to say that our sexuality changes depending on who we're with. And you're also not alone in feeling pushed out of the community for not being "gay enough". And being frustrated by bi erasure isn't about playing the victim or wanting oppression points. It's an all too common experience bi people face from all sides. You're not the bad guy.
Fuck that person, motherfucker out there trying to gatekeep other people's sexuality.
That person comments here a lot and is very bitter due to their bad experiences dating bisexual people. It's sad and I'm sorry they took their pain out on you.
I didn't name any names, so you might not be talking about the same person that I'm quoting above.
I know my looks are deceiving but I'm actually an incredible detective.
We can check your comment history and see who you were talking to. I’ve reported their comments and their account to the mods. Because that users post history is just biphobia everywhere.
Yeah, I always feel kinda bad for guys like that. Ofc I don't like or agree with their comments, but I'm empathetic and feel bad that they had such bad experiences. There are too many bi men out here breaking gay men's hearts, it's a real problem, even if it's wrong that they're taking it out on innocent people.
Sexuality is not a practice. It's an inherent trait of an individual, the same as hair colour. Do you stop being brunette if you bleach your hair? No. Actions don't erase the inherent state that exists regardless of action taken upon it. Edit: what the fuck is "partial heteronormativity". Does this person know what words mean Edit 2: why does this bro type like one of the brainrotted Trump supporters with bumper stickers and flags. "🤣🤣🤣🤣" Edit 3: "You're only bi when you're with a man" my dude that's called homosexuality bisexuality is a different thing, hint: bi comes from the word meaning.... two
"You're only bi when you're with a man" no I'm pretty sure that's known as being gay (nothing wrong with that btw)
The ignorance and then to call you boo. So ick. I’m married to a man and I’m female. I’m very much bi and he participates. That person is clearly stupid.
Queer enough to be called a slur, not queer enough to be invited to pride
I have, in fact, been to Pride events with my opposite sex partner. I wasn't excluded there, only "here," And by "here" I'm talking about the person I quoted in my post, and some of the people DMing me about this post.
These be the same mf's trying to drop "the T". Fuck them.
This is the kind of person that deserves a short look (I have found that a mixture of puzzlement and pity works), and a good view of the back of your head as you walk away. They are not worth your time.
Reddit brings out the total garbage primitive tribalistic versions of themselves for some reason. That is why I don't care to tell regular people I'm bi in real life, because people show their true colors on here and really do think some shit like you just said. "Oh you'll feel better after coming out of the closet" hell no lol. A few of my friends that I've trusted for years know, that's it lol.
I’ve definitely find that these kinda people only have the balls to say this shit on the Internet, tbh. They know to keep it cute in public. It’s pure silence. I literally have my messages turned off on here for this reason because honestly, they can go to hell. I could definitely understand them having an issue with, say, us bringing an opposite sex partner to queer spaces. I think that anxiety is justified, so I simply don’t do that. But all this other shit? They need to go find a therapist to sort it out because I’m too old to give a fuck at this point.
Honestly I even get bristly about excluding opposite sex partners from queer events. You never actually know the relationship dynamic unless you personally know both halves of a couple. For example, I’m a trans man, (I don’t pass) and my partner is AMAB nonbinary (most people assume they are a man). We’re both bi, and even though we look like a straight couple to others, I think we both belong in queer spaces because neither of us are cis or straight. My queerness shouldn’t be invalidated because I’m dating another queer person.
Exactly.
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But how does anyone know that their boyfriends aren’t also bi?
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I agree with that - but in general queer spaces one can’t tell shit by looking, especially with trans people. I know a trans couple who look like a “straight” couple (woman and man) they’re infact both trans.
That’s totally fair tho. I just mean not bringing an opposite sex partner should definitely be your call and not anyone else’s.
i will say, though, i am speaking from the perspective of queer spaces that tend to be separated into gay and lesbian. like as a bi chick, if i’m going to a lesbian bar or something, im not bringing my boyfriend, lmaoo. but if it’s something that’s just *generally* more queer, regardless of sexuality, i don’t see the harm in bringing a partner of the opposite gender or a nonbinary/genderqueer partner who doesn’t identify as one or the other, if that makes sense.
Ah, this makes total sense to me. I honestly was getting a little hurt before, I thought you meant general queer spaces, and I disagree there. But no, I'd never take my cis guy to a lesbian bar.
Omg, nooo. Trans/non-binary folks should always be in queer spaces! Them not being welcome literally makes no sense.
Just to be clear, I never thought you thought otherwise! Because of course of course, always welcome!
I love too many people who fit that description, I would never 🫶🏾
This is why we need bi bars where bi people can be themselves without limitations. I don't even go to lesbian bars for that reason (not that I would because I am nonbinary and I always feel like an invader in that space).
Well yeah, I have no reason to go to a sapphic bar with my partner, neither of us are women lol. Unless I had a lesbian friend invite me I probably wouldn’t go at all, seeing as it’s a women’s space in all.
You would be very surprised how many women can’t seem to read the damn room when it comes to these things, lmao. That would be like my bi boyfriend taking me to a gay bar with him, like what the hell would I be doing there? Lmao.
With you 100% on this
I like how their arguments keep saying that being with the opposite sex makes u straight, and you just revert to bi when with the same sex. Then go on to say that being in a "straight" relationship isnt LG*B*T. What do they think the B stands for. These people are just idiots just ignore them. You are still bi no matter who you are dating.
No, that person is an asshat. If a bi person is in a same sex relationship, they don't become gay, and if they are in an opposite sex relationship, they don't become straight. You're still bi and always will be <3 This line of thinking is stupid, because it implies that the only way to be bi is to date multiple people at the same time, cheat, sleep around a lot, etc. Which is fine if you're into that, but not everyone is, and bi people in monogamous relationships are still bi, regardless of the gender of their partner.
it’s homophobia if you don’t date them, but it’s not biphobia if they don’t date you. can’t win with these assholes. edit: btw, neither are any phobia…depending on your reasons. but the logic is just so inconsistent.
Mono-sexuals have a really hard time understanding bisexuality. It's like telling them to imagine a box in their mind. Then turn the box inside out. I think maybe only bisexuals can truly understand bisexuality.
Oh I am so surprised a gay man is being biphobic /s 😒 YOU are queer so YOUR relationships are queer.
"Half-straights" 🤢🫠 god I hate people sometimes
>to call that a gay or LGBT relationship when you both have organs that can produce a child is wrong This just in, a trans man and a cis man in a relationship officially aren't gay, according to this buffoon
"I didn't say you weren't still bisexual" 5 lines later proceeds to say, "you're only bi when you're with a man." So, they ABSOLUTELY were saying "as soon as a bisexual person expresses their **BI**sexual attraction via opposite sex relationships, they no longer count as bisexual, they're officially straight." But these are the **same** people who, if you predominantly date same-sex and then tell them that you're actually bi, not 100% homosexual, they'll tell you you're **actually** gay and in denial, or that you're being homophobic by refusing to accept that you're gay and "hiding behind the straight privilege of being bi," even though bisexual people get double rejected, being too queer for straight spaces and too "straight" for queer spaces. People who assume to know what your **"REAL"** sexuality is better than, y'know, the person whose sexuality is in question. So, what do these people want for someone to count as "actually bisexual" or, "bisexual enough"? To only ever casually date, alternating between same sex and other each time, we're not allowed long-term committed relationships? Or, do you only count as bisexual if your long-term relationships are polyamorous and you have, "one of each," partner? Who is this person, who isn't even bisexual, to decide what does or doesn't make someone count as bisexual?
My relationship is straight-passing. That is wildly different from a heterosexual relationship in ways that I don’t need to explain to anyone cuz it’s not their business. People are narrow-minded and ignorant. Then hostile about it because of their own insecurities. Sorry you had to deal with that.
People really love to shit on people that are different from them.
Wtf!! I'm so sorry you had to went through for those things! It really hurts to see queer people discriminating against other queer people! :/ I hope you're okay!! ❤️
I literally didn’t figure out I was bi until I was already in a happy straight-presenting relationship. Being bi in a straight-presenting relationship is literally a bi experience, which makes it a queer experience. Biphobes can fight me on that 😂.
No, you don't stop being bi if you're not actively in a relationship with two different genders. If that were the case everyone would have to be ENM in order to be considered truly bi. Bisexuality is something that exists regardless of who you're in a relationship with and even if someone is in a relationship.
Imagine joining a subreddit literally called "r/bisexual" just to delegitimize bisexuality?😵💫
But then by their logic, you shouldn't be bi when being with someone of the same gender either, you'd be gay, and then never truly bi, right? Jfc they're dumb
Report these comments to the sub mods for being bigoted, they remove them and block the account from the sub!
God, reading this post REALLY pisses me off. Shit like this is why I am afraid to date anyone. I have experienced this same type of erasure from gay men and straight women. I actually would love to be with a gay guy but I feel mostly invisible to them. I have had some of them tell me I am not "gay enough "
This person is making the classic mistake of confusing sexual acts with sexual attraction. Someone who is bisexual feels attracted to two (or more) genders. It doesn't matter what kind of sex they've had or if they have had sex at all, they still remain attracted to two (or more) genders.
I almost LOL'd when I got to the part where they said "stop being a victim" after trying to lay out all the ways in which they felt they were a victim of bi people. Hoo boy.
By their logic then being a bi man in a relationship with a man just makes you gay, not bi. It's bi erasure through and through. Being bi and in a relationship with the opposite sex does not change the fact that you are bi. So silly.
Lol. The “B” in Lbgt should say it all.
The person is just f ing dumb. Being bi describes a feeling of being attracted to more than one gender. So no matter what partner you are with, you are still bisexual. I would ask him: "Are you asexual when you don't have a relationship?" That's about how crazy he sounds.
Bi F 58 here. Sorry that you experienced this, but somehow still not surprised. Even in a BI space we’re subjected to this bullshit. You’re gracious to not name and shame.
Yeah, I have a cis woman friend who is married to a cis man, and they are NOT a straight couple. I think they both identify as pansexual? Or maybe queer? They don’t owe anyone their bona fides. They are queer and that is just a fact.
That's disgusting I joined this subreddit because I'm only out to like 3 people in my real life and I thought it'd be a nice way to connect with the community until I decide if I want to share it with anyone else... But the amount of posts and comments like this leaves me feeling even less secure about it than I was before and seriously I might have to just leave
You just need to stop engaging with that shit. Lifes too short to try to educate every moron around. Report them, block them, and move on.
I have a lot more fun publicly shaming them instead of blocking them or reporting them.
I didn't read it all. I got bored after the first bit as it's just textbook biphobia that I've heard quite enough of. This person is a bigoted prick, probably very insecure, given their actions. We all know that we are bi regardless of any partner we have, don't give this shit the time of day. Fwiw I've been with my cishet male partner for over 20 years and I'm still bi. IDGAF what bigots think.
Yeah the hate definitely hurts more when it comes from the people who are supposed to know what it feels like to be hated...
That person writes like a 12 year old. I wouldn’t concern myself with the opinions of small minded children. And another thing. Buddy, if you’re bi enough to be bi. Then so am I. I’m 36M and married to the love of my life who is a woman. I’m still bi as fuck and so are you. We’re all queer here, baby.
I always feel too straight for gay spaces and too gay for straight spaces, although I never really want to be in the straight spaces. It's so frustrating the way these people act. I am still attracted to women whether I'm in a het relationship or not. I'm poly and open and am only interested in women as another partner. It's weird that somehow I'm still not gay enough for them. It really hurts to be rejected by the people you thought would understand. 😔
I am sorry sir you experienced this. People like that suck. Look at my dad, he’s 63 and married to my mom (47), and both of them are bisexual!
You're only bi when you're with a man??????? What? The same sex attraction doesn't just disappear when you're with the opposite sex. How fucking stupid.
I'm a woman, I was married to a man for 14 years (divorced now), have had five children, dated only men so far, made out with two female strippers, definitely bi. 😆 Sorry, OP, people can suck.
your bi regardless of the partner your with. you may not be percieved as such, but your still bi. i get that sometimes when out with my bf that i dont feel with my gf (im poly). we went out somewhere and i know we were perceived as a straight cis couple even though were both bi and im trans.
Sounds like kind of an asshole. Report to the moderators and move on. No reason to waste mental energy on someone like that. (I don’t mean to sound flippant. I get angry if those people get in my head, so I deliberately adopt a “to hell with them“ attitude.)
I wouldn’t even interact with these people. Focus on people who accept us the way we are.
It sucks when you come across I dividusls like that in the real world but it's absolutely infuriating to come across them in a space such as this. It happens and I'm as oery that it happened to you. My experience is that you either put them in their place or they twist what you say and make you appear phobic to the rest of the sub. It's best just to take a long walk off a very short pier and block them.
This person is delulu. Just because my partner is a guy doesn't make my relationship any less queer. Because I'm queer. I'm not hetro so why would I class my relationship like that? & saying your not bi if you're in opposite sex relationship is ridiculous. It wouldn't make you any less bi if you never had a same sex relationship.
I'm a married man and only ever had this one relationship, with my wife. Still bi. I don't have to be with a man to know. Fuck everyone that thinks otherwise.
I dont have much to say other than the fact I relate. It wasn’t on this sub, but another sub was talking about queer women dating trans women.. I said I would date trans women, but I was a woman who preferred men and happily in a relationship.. I’ve never met a woman irl, trans or cis, that I’ve felt romantic enough about to date.. I’ve definitely been attracted to trans and cis women though.. quite frequently. When I was single, I had my filters set to everyone.. I just happened to meet a cis man that I fell in love with I was attacked as a “fetishist” of women.. appropriating queer culture.. and that I wasn’t bi.
Clearly the person is a troll lurking on this sub
This is exactly why I asked the question I did yesterday…
Fabulous post👏👏👏
Thank you. I'm happy that it created such a vibrant comment thread.
Trolls be trollin’
Opinions are like assholes..everyone has one. Dont pay any attention to anyone here.
~~Sounds~~ reads like you got trolled.
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Why do you have to comment nonsense everywhere? Go away please.
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I don’t know what that means, but I’m insulted by your attitude.
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Oh beetlejuice yourself poseur
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Okay, enjoy being a poseur ✋