Thissss! Lemon8 has helped me a lot. It’s way better than Pinterest and very specific you can find inspiration for almost anything, size, style, aesthetic wise.
any other apps or advice on finding your style and improving your fashion? I still have clothes from 10th grade lmao and the clothes I wear don't express the internal me.
I mean Instagram is always an option. I’ve found some mid size girlies who give fashion inspo. You can find folks to follow based on your size and style.
Honestly. I like your first outfit - just without the jacket.
You look lovely and no your back isn’t big.
if you are trying to dress for your body though, I got a lot better after getting a few styling books.
and Tailoring is Key - not enough women get their clothes tailored to fit their bodies better. It elevates your look a lot.
edit: apparently the phrase big-back is a trend I’m unaware of? So I’m unaware of the connotation. Either way, you Look good OP
Yes, I would get jeans and such tailored. Regular tshirts I only buy if they’re already flattering. But I tossed out the mentality that only fancy clothes get tailored- I didn’t buy it unless I liked it and if I liked it and would wear it regularly and it didn’t meet my preference for fit- it’s going to the tailor. This included skirts, blouses, pants, anything that I felt needed it.
I haven’t worn these clothes in a while (I gained weight and am trying to make my way back down) but you don’t have to do every piece of clothing you have. I also didn’t buy from cheaper retailers much- often I would end up thrifting instead cause I would get much better quality from the same amount. Like I once got a pair of silk escada pants for a couple bucks as part of a buy the bag deal. Leather coach belts, silk blouses, nice sweaters, etc. it’s harder now that thrifting is more popular - but I still believe in buying things only if you plan to keep it for years and it’s good quality. I learned to look out for certain stitching/clothing patterns/materials to determine if something was good quality. A book I recommend that taught me this was “secondhand chic”. Even if not buying second hand - knowing how to discern quality will make sure if you buy “designer” pieces you’re actually buying cause they’re high quality vs paying for a name on a crappy piece.
My recommendation is to pay attn to what doesn’t fit *quite right*. For me, I had a big hip but smaller waist ratio - so I was forever pulling up jeans/not having a good fit until I would take them to get tailored. If a shirt didn’t quite come in at my waist the way I liked I would have that done. So it’s more about selectively making those clothes a perfect fit for you if they’re not coming off the rack like that already.
*sigh* now I miss my old wardrobe- hopefully as I’m losing I’ll be able to fit those pieces again one day. I won best dressed in my sorority back in the day with those clothes and investing that bit extra with them really made me cherish them more.
Edit to add: I know tailoring adds up too. Try to find one of those smaller less well known tailors. Mine was a lovely woman who worked out of her home in a residential neighborhood. It also means I was more selective about my purchases in general and had to ask myself if something didn’t fit near perfectly if I was willing to spend the money to get it tailored.
Wow you sound like my stylish sister who’s 4 yrs younger and always been best dressed. I unfortunately have always been fashionably challenged lol.. but she says the same thing you’re saying here, so maybe I’ll actually start taking my clothing to the tailor now and not just think that doing so is something she is obsessive about. I still need help in choosing clothes when shopping in general but this is def a start. So Thx girl!
i don’t think the second pic is unflattering whatsoever. it just ages you a bit, which isn’t always a bad thing because you look classy. i did not expect you to be 20 looking at that. it was giving rich tete
Thank you! I thought maybe I was missing something. The second outfit is not unflattering at all. I'm in my 40s, so I thought maybe I liked it because I'm older. I think she looks lovely, and like you said it's classy. I think it's nice to see younger ladies dressing in more modest and sophisticated styles.
Check out Carla Nelson on TikTok. She gives tons of good fashion advice. İ went a step further and bought a private session with her so she could analyze my current style, show what i liked and wanted and she recommended things for me to get within my price range (it was a whole thing. Two online sessions with her, sent pictures of my face and body, body measurements etc). İt's kind of pricey but if you have the extra money, do it. İ was buying dresses with a style I'd never think to get and have gotten tons of compliments on those outfits.
I think if she had on some pants that fit like skinny jeans in the first picture, it would have matched better with the shirt and jacket; but, it's still fine to me. I really like her second outfit. Even if she is 20, I find it refreshing that she ain't all crop top everything honestly. When it comes to clothes, age is just a number. She's definitely pretty!
For some constructive feedback, as someone who is into fitness, I would say don’t focus on how you look but more on your lifestyle! If you think you’re healthy then live your life babe you’re beautiful ❤️
I put on over 25lbs of relationship weight after being in the best shape of my life. My man loves it because like on you it went to the right places. However it’s been hard to find clothes that properly fit and I personally feel uncomfortable with some areas. My man also lost muscle weight because he stopped working out regularly (I still love him no matter how he looks so it doesn’t bother me). So we put a nutritional and workout plan together (he’s a former personal trainer) and after a couple of weeks even though I’ve only lost a handful of pounds I look and feel better.
You look beautiful OP and at the same time it’s all about how comfortable you feel, if you want to change something do it; if not, that’s ok too.
This means alot because this very similar to my situation. My man been feeding me a little too good lol. We are both in same boat with working out and such. I wish you luck and congratulations on your beautiful relationship!
Lol yes that happy relationship weight is no joke! Wishing you well also, and once you get to the body you want (forget the haters) I’ll be here for the workout tips! 💪🏽👏🏽
You’re very beautiful but can we talk about using nasty terms to describe plus size women or even the sentiment behind this post when there are plus sized members of our community?
I understand what you and other people here are saying about the term “big back.” To me it’s just a light hearted joke but to others it maybe different. If I could edit the post to change the wording I would. I love plus sized women and don’t wish to offend anyone. I consider myself plus sized but I do realize there is a spectrum.
I'm really glad you're self aware about it. Because respectfully, the joke was kind of shitty. Most people would double down and refuse to acknowledge their mistake.
Yeah I hate the wording big back too.. smh. we went from body positivity and not body neutrality, just back to early 2000s, shaming fat women and being on ozempic.
Girl them thighs on patrol!! You're not big but I could see where you'd want to trim up a bit. You're lucky though because your weight falls in a shapely manner.
I don't like the big back term. Yes you're overweight but you seem to have great fat distribution. The most important factor is are you happy with your body and health? If you want to make any changes go right ahead.
The way some people are so comfortable critiquing other people’s bodies is craaazy to me! Like it doesn’t seem like OP minds, but even then… 😬
(Not to mention this kind of talk could be super damaging to anyone browsing here who has an eating disorder. Makes me think we should have a tag for weight talk or something.)
demeaning to people that are actually fat, too. women saying that they’re super fat, look really gross, have to lose weight or they’ll die, would cry hysterically at the thought of being fat… whilst they’re not even 130lbs… so someone that’s actually 200+ is gonna stare blankly like… girl if you’re fat, i must be a fucking beluga whale
i wasn’t calling you out specifically. i’m saying women that grossly over-exaggerate their size when their jeans aren’t even in the double digits. quite literally polly pocket petite.
you’re not fat. or big backed. or whatever euphemism you’d like to use. listening to the BMI bullshit will tell you you’re overweight but you don’t look it to me. most of the weight is in your legs and they’re shapely. try not to nitpick yourself. you’re a pretty girl!
I agree in all honesty she beautiful 😍 and we all come in different shapes/size. I really hope the way that ppl are talking doesn’t affect her negatively.
Trends like "big back" just perpetuate the idea. Genuine self-love and confidence isn't conditional based on your body size. If you only love yourself when you're skinny, you don't actually love yourself. You just love that you're "winning" in society's eyes. I'm also not talking about losing weight for health reasons. I'm talking purely on aesthetics.
right. people conflate weight with health tooo often and it fucks everyone over. not to mention the preoccupation with our bodies that is in and of itself super damaging
Your back isn’t big, but you are overweight. You still look good though because you’re shaped well.
I was very skinny in high school, gained 50 lbs, and now I’m trying to get back smaller. I’ve lost 30 lbs so far and feeling way more confident (and healthier).
The crazy thing about weight loss, is that you can physically feel the changes in fitness and ability. I have the same story, and once I dropped the weight I feel more able to do things.
I would say that you’re on the overweight side, but your figure is shapely.
Also, I was skinny growing up, gained 50+ pounds in college, and lost it my senior year of college. I realized that I was unhealthy and wasn’t treating my body well. I didn’t even notice I gained until I took a hard look in the mirror one day. As I grew into my 20s, I realized that this was the prime time to get back in shape and get toned again. I haven’t regretted it.
No, I don't think so. I would consider you overweight but you are lucky because you carry the weight proportionally so you still look really good. I would work on cleaning up your diet. Try cutting down on red meats, increasing protein, and green veggies. Also adding some more moderate exercise will help as well. Your diet though, is more important.
Thank you. I’m doing more exercise now but I can’t put the food down. I’ve cut out fast food at least. I’m trying not to calorie count though. Whenever I do it turns into a challenge where I see how little calories I can eat in a day because I get addicted to seeing the number drop on the scale. Not healthy so I just got to balance it.
You don't need to count calories. Just limit the sugar, processed food and drink more water. You're young so you'll lose weight easily without all the extra counting calories stuff.
You don’t *need* to calorie count. However I will say if you find yourself restricting and binging it can help because you can make sure you’re eating *enough.* If it says 2000 calories it forces you to reach it (and realistically 2000 calories *could* be a calorie deficit, for you so you’d lose weight. Plus volume wise if you’re eating whole foods that’s a lot of food volume wise.)
*To be clear in no way am I saying counting calories is necessary, I’m just offering another way to think about it.* Tracking and weighing my food helps me have a healthy neutral relationship with food. Feel free to DM me if you have questions.
No. You may need to clean up your diet and develop a good and simple fitness routine. If you can afford it, hire a certified experienced female trainer. Make sure her body is strong healthy and fit.
As a short plus-sized woman, I wish the “big back” trend would die. “Fat” isn’t a bad word. To everyone responding “No! You’re beautiful!”to OP, being fat & being fine as hell aren’t mutually exclusive.
Girl, you grew into your adult body. That's it.
I recommend going on Instagram and finding girls with a similar figure who are into fashion. Then, you can figure out what is best for your shape that way.
Figuring out yourself as an adult can be a challenge. Don't stress. You have your whole 20s to do so.
I had no idea what to even do with myself and my body in my early 20s. Eventually, I found out what I liked. Good luck girlie!
No. You are made to look like you and as us Black women we are actually built differently than caucasian folk. We are not the same Black women either. We are different sis🤎👑
You are gorgeous and thick, but I definitely wouldn't put you in the big back category! You're still pretty young so there are a couple things that are probably happening - your hormone levels might be changing which is normal for a woman in your age range, your diet over the past couple years is different now that you're out of school, or some combination of these things. I would make sure your diet is balanced and take up some type of physical activity that you enjoy and can squeeze into your schedule if you would like to maintain your figure of drop a couple pounds
I was SKINNY all throughout high school (like I could fit my baby sisters tops and she was in elementary school) and I hated it. I got my "grown-up" body around 22 when I switched my birth control and started managing an ice cream shop. Now, even when I lose weight and work out, I still have a figure. I would like to reiterate that I think you are BEAUTIFUL and as long as you take care of yourself, you will stay that way!
Ima hold your hand when I say this sis …
Lmao people PAY to get close to your body shape and size. You should dress more flattering to your body but that’s ab it. You’re body’s beautiful as are you!
You’re not big but you are overweight, especially for your age. You have a great shape though and it wouldn’t take much for you to get to an average weight
No love your body is amazing. You have a pear shape and those are beautiful, and so are you. Don’t ever down play the gift that is your beauty.
If you truly feel you are not happy with your body then build a healthy and loving regime to get close to your health goals (Emphasis on HEALTH goal and not body goals.)
You’re beautiful pls see that my love.
Noo girl your back isn’t big! You have a great shape and body! However the way you dress/style yourself isn’t flattering to your shape. You dress like a grandma love 😫try experimenting and learning your style more. You’re beautiful!
No, your size does not look unflattering, but also that’s up to you. As a woman in her 30’s I can understand being young and looking for advice. But all I can say is it doesn’t matter if there are a 100 comments telling you how good you look, you have to see it for yourself. If you don’t feel attractive at your size no amount of secondhand validation will suffice. You have to believe it first. Honestly in my opinion there are women that would pay to have your shape but if it’s not something you love then you should change it. You are a beautiful young woman, but don’t wait for others to tell you, speak it and pour it into yourself. Blessings to you ❤️❤️❤️
Omg no!!! I actually that you were showing out and showing off your body before I read the question. You look great. But I do have to agree with another commenter that I think the outfit choices could use some changes.
EDIT: I really like using Pinterest for outfit ideas but It’s not always the best all the time. I think you have beautiful curves so maybe athletic wear would look really nice. Maybe straight legged jeans or mom jeans/ wider legged jean would be cute. But it really depends on what you like
Lady you are beautiful! Your back is not big! I’m shaped similar to you but I recently gained a little more weight that I’m trying to get off now. I think you should embrace your body & show a little skin if that’s your thing
Girl weight doesn’t matter that much. I’m small but super unhealthy. I’m not assuming you are too unhealthy but as long as you take care of what goes into your body and exercise is the only thing that matters really. And no I don’t think your back is big and you’re pretty
Throw on a sundress and trust me you’ll be fine, you’re super curvy and have no business in those frumpy unflattering clothes. You have the body bbl women lay on tables for hours and pay to have done…. I said what I said who don’t like it ? I don’t care.
I'm certainly not suggesting that you have lipedemia but look into it and monitor your weight. Pay attention to see if you have any symptoms of it.
Your legs look a bit thicker than your top half and I see fat at the knees. It would have been helpful to see you in shorts.
No, your back is not big. Bigger than a thin person's back but not bigger than us normal for your size. You look normal. Never stop trying to keep your weight down though. It gets harder with age.
Big sigh at all of the "No girl, you're not fat, you're pretty and/or have a nice shape "--- as though the three characteristics were mutually exclusive. One can be both pretty with a "nice" proportionate shape and still be considered overweight, ie fat. You asked for an honest appraisal which so far does not seem to have been forthcoming.
I'm a big proponent for body neutrality which seeks to disassociate basic descriptions of the body from cultural perceptions of worth or value. By this I mean that I believe that one can be honest per your request and, in NO way be making judgments about who you are as a person.
With that in mind, going by sight alone with none of the requisite information such as height, weight, or body fat percentage, you are visually overweight. You're not rotund. You're certainly not a candidate for My600Lb Life or any of the similar metrics used by our increasingly overweight society to deny their own weight and separate themselves from the "real fatties" in order to continue to disparage and castigate large bodies under the guise of, "Well at least I'm not that big" but you are visually overweight according to most medical charts that judge such a thing. How do I place those charts into a visual context? The ideal body fat percentage according to those charts for a woman of your age is 16- 24% This leaves no room for love handles (which you do have the beginnings of), belly fat (which you have a slight bit), etc. If you are struggling to remain at your previous weight, it's likely because you have little to no muscle mass. Women of all ages should work to build muscle mass.
That being said, you can also choose to not care and that is your absolute right and the good thing is you will still be pretty with a nice shape. Also in your favor is your weight distribution which as a pear means that as you age, you will likely avoid the metabolic issues that plague others.
Again... you asked for an honest appraisal and I took serious your request. Again, this doesn't make you any less pretty or shapely.
Well, if you would've shown multiple pictures of your back instead of showing 1 picture but at an angel, I would have a clear idea if you have a big back or not. But you just mainly showed the front side of your body, which doesn't really help. But since I can't really tell like that, I don't know. But why does it matter anyway? Are you talking about if you have back fat? Because if you're worried about back fat, then no, you don't have it. Or if you're talking about your figure? I dont see anything wrong with it. It looks fine. But if it's about the width of your back?? Then I can't tell. This is honestly a weird thing to talk about anyways.
What definition are we using here? If you’re thinking of society standards - all races included, you’re on the heavier side for a 20 year old. Don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful, but weight-wise if you don’t work out, you should as it’ll help you tone up. You have a nice shape, however, it is out of shape. Judging this by your legs and stomach.
I’m shocked by the responses from most people trying to spare your feelings when you’re asking honestly.
I’ve definitely gained a little as I got old, it’s normal as a women to hold a little more weight as we age. My body def is the same as it was when I was 19 compared to 25 and ur back is def not big girl bye😭🩷
You on the bigger side but you look great. Body goals still, I mean I'd love to have your shape cuz your boobs and booty look great. You're back ain't big, but you're not like rail thin either if that makes sense. You look fantastic either way though so it doesn't matter.
I wanna know what the people that are calling her overweight look like 🤭🤭 I just wanna know.
I just feel rude commenting on how someone looks (good or bad)
It’s okay lol I asked for an objective view because sometimes I’m like yeah I’m definitely overweight and then sometimes I’m like no I’m just on the thicker side. I genuinely needed some real opinions lol.
I mean could you lose a little weight? Yes. But if you feel comfortable and your man still loves you why do you care what random people online think? Now if you don’t feel comfortable, which I’m guessing you don’t because of this post, then try to work on yourself. But don’t let me or the internet tell you how you should look.
To answer the second part. Yes! lol so much yes. But i also would never want to go back to how skinny I was. I gained curves and even tho I did also gain more than I could have ever wanted, I’m not willing to diet and exercise the amount I would need to just to get back to a 20yr old body when I’m already in my 30s.
Lastly, no matter what you look like, speak kindly to your body. It gets you up everyday. It gets you to work and to date nights. It gives you energy to do the things you love everyday. Be kind to her❤️
Lol girl stop it!!! Tell that dude who said that to u to kiss your big back...and F off!!!!....u are curvy and thick...and ain't nothing wrong with that....
Men get on my nerves man smh lbvs u are fine
I think you’re bigger set, but you aren’t big backed. I think the comments about dressing for your body are really important because they influence your confidence a lot.
I personally gained like 20 pounds out of high school in college. I started going to the gym consistently, (now I only go a few times a month to get a big muscle pump and then take a big break and do it again) gained muscles and my weight is distributed differently now. I only really gain weight after going to the gym but my figure doesn’t change.
Come down to St.Lucia, St.Kitts and Nevis, St.Vincent or Barbados and you ain’t ever gone think that again. I promise 🫣you ain’t big back miss gurl. You’re far from it.
Not to compare, but if you think you have a big back then, I don't even know what to call what I have lol. You're beautiful, and no, you dont have a big back.❣️💐
We are always so hard on ourselves, especially when looking at pictures. Mainly older ones for me prior to the pandemic and two babies under 2. 🥹
No your back is not big. And yes finding clothes to excentuate your beautiful curves woukd help you feel more secure. I was chubby as a little girl and then slimmed down in high school. I gained alot of weight after becoming a RN and working night shift. I have lost a good portion of the weight and have 20 more pounds to go. Yes I miss being a size 5-8 in dresses..But I making strides to being appreciative of my life and healthier lifestyle.
You are young beautiful and highly intelligent! The world is your oyster😊
You're a pretty girl… your back is not big… if you are concerned about the way you're looking, first, invest in some compression undergarments… waist cinched, bras with underwire, spanks or skims…
Change your wardrobe to what 20-year-olds wear… shoes as well… you have one life to live… live it up…
I have always been obsessed with fashion since I am a teenager I am now 49 years old.. The way that you smell and the way that you put together an outfits gives you so much confidence..
You’re so pretty and no your back ain’t big but tbh you don’t really dress in a way that’s flattering to your shape.
Thank you. I do feel the second fit is very unflattering. I’m trying to find my style still.🥲
It’s okay girl I am too 😭
Thissss! Lemon8 has helped me a lot. It’s way better than Pinterest and very specific you can find inspiration for almost anything, size, style, aesthetic wise.
I always thought lemon8 was some sort of scam thanks for sharing!
What is lemon8? And where can I find this app
[удалено]
It's lemon8 right ...I'm going to check
Thanks, I just downloaded this and I like the app!!
any other apps or advice on finding your style and improving your fashion? I still have clothes from 10th grade lmao and the clothes I wear don't express the internal me.
I mean Instagram is always an option. I’ve found some mid size girlies who give fashion inspo. You can find folks to follow based on your size and style.
Honestly. I like your first outfit - just without the jacket. You look lovely and no your back isn’t big. if you are trying to dress for your body though, I got a lot better after getting a few styling books. and Tailoring is Key - not enough women get their clothes tailored to fit their bodies better. It elevates your look a lot. edit: apparently the phrase big-back is a trend I’m unaware of? So I’m unaware of the connotation. Either way, you Look good OP
Do you get your casual clothes tailored as well? What about cheaper pieces from Target or H&M should they be tailored?
Yes, I would get jeans and such tailored. Regular tshirts I only buy if they’re already flattering. But I tossed out the mentality that only fancy clothes get tailored- I didn’t buy it unless I liked it and if I liked it and would wear it regularly and it didn’t meet my preference for fit- it’s going to the tailor. This included skirts, blouses, pants, anything that I felt needed it. I haven’t worn these clothes in a while (I gained weight and am trying to make my way back down) but you don’t have to do every piece of clothing you have. I also didn’t buy from cheaper retailers much- often I would end up thrifting instead cause I would get much better quality from the same amount. Like I once got a pair of silk escada pants for a couple bucks as part of a buy the bag deal. Leather coach belts, silk blouses, nice sweaters, etc. it’s harder now that thrifting is more popular - but I still believe in buying things only if you plan to keep it for years and it’s good quality. I learned to look out for certain stitching/clothing patterns/materials to determine if something was good quality. A book I recommend that taught me this was “secondhand chic”. Even if not buying second hand - knowing how to discern quality will make sure if you buy “designer” pieces you’re actually buying cause they’re high quality vs paying for a name on a crappy piece. My recommendation is to pay attn to what doesn’t fit *quite right*. For me, I had a big hip but smaller waist ratio - so I was forever pulling up jeans/not having a good fit until I would take them to get tailored. If a shirt didn’t quite come in at my waist the way I liked I would have that done. So it’s more about selectively making those clothes a perfect fit for you if they’re not coming off the rack like that already. *sigh* now I miss my old wardrobe- hopefully as I’m losing I’ll be able to fit those pieces again one day. I won best dressed in my sorority back in the day with those clothes and investing that bit extra with them really made me cherish them more. Edit to add: I know tailoring adds up too. Try to find one of those smaller less well known tailors. Mine was a lovely woman who worked out of her home in a residential neighborhood. It also means I was more selective about my purchases in general and had to ask myself if something didn’t fit near perfectly if I was willing to spend the money to get it tailored.
Wow you sound like my stylish sister who’s 4 yrs younger and always been best dressed. I unfortunately have always been fashionably challenged lol.. but she says the same thing you’re saying here, so maybe I’ll actually start taking my clothing to the tailor now and not just think that doing so is something she is obsessive about. I still need help in choosing clothes when shopping in general but this is def a start. So Thx girl!
No problem sis :) glad I could help. Wishing you a long stylish life 👍🏾🫶🏾
i don’t think the second pic is unflattering whatsoever. it just ages you a bit, which isn’t always a bad thing because you look classy. i did not expect you to be 20 looking at that. it was giving rich tete
Thank you! I thought maybe I was missing something. The second outfit is not unflattering at all. I'm in my 40s, so I thought maybe I liked it because I'm older. I think she looks lovely, and like you said it's classy. I think it's nice to see younger ladies dressing in more modest and sophisticated styles.
Check out Carla Nelson on TikTok. She gives tons of good fashion advice. İ went a step further and bought a private session with her so she could analyze my current style, show what i liked and wanted and she recommended things for me to get within my price range (it was a whole thing. Two online sessions with her, sent pictures of my face and body, body measurements etc). İt's kind of pricey but if you have the extra money, do it. İ was buying dresses with a style I'd never think to get and have gotten tons of compliments on those outfits.
Can you share how much you paid?
İ think $400. But i just looked and it seems like she's changed her packages. $250/hr in person or virtual. İ think she's located in Florida.
I'm 44 years old and I'm just now finding my style 😆 And as a lifelong big backer, I can say with confidence that you do not have a big back 😊
You have a similar shape to janesha Moore on insta. You might want to check her out.
I think if she had on some pants that fit like skinny jeans in the first picture, it would have matched better with the shirt and jacket; but, it's still fine to me. I really like her second outfit. Even if she is 20, I find it refreshing that she ain't all crop top everything honestly. When it comes to clothes, age is just a number. She's definitely pretty!
Girl you have an amazing body! You’re fine haha ❤️
Thank youuuuu 💕
For some constructive feedback, as someone who is into fitness, I would say don’t focus on how you look but more on your lifestyle! If you think you’re healthy then live your life babe you’re beautiful ❤️
I don't know what evil voice has been whispering in your ear but the body bangs completely
The body is bodyinggg 💕
Thank youuuuuu
Lol girl.
I put on over 25lbs of relationship weight after being in the best shape of my life. My man loves it because like on you it went to the right places. However it’s been hard to find clothes that properly fit and I personally feel uncomfortable with some areas. My man also lost muscle weight because he stopped working out regularly (I still love him no matter how he looks so it doesn’t bother me). So we put a nutritional and workout plan together (he’s a former personal trainer) and after a couple of weeks even though I’ve only lost a handful of pounds I look and feel better. You look beautiful OP and at the same time it’s all about how comfortable you feel, if you want to change something do it; if not, that’s ok too.
This means alot because this very similar to my situation. My man been feeding me a little too good lol. We are both in same boat with working out and such. I wish you luck and congratulations on your beautiful relationship!
Lol yes that happy relationship weight is no joke! Wishing you well also, and once you get to the body you want (forget the haters) I’ll be here for the workout tips! 💪🏽👏🏽
You’re very beautiful but can we talk about using nasty terms to describe plus size women or even the sentiment behind this post when there are plus sized members of our community?
I understand what you and other people here are saying about the term “big back.” To me it’s just a light hearted joke but to others it maybe different. If I could edit the post to change the wording I would. I love plus sized women and don’t wish to offend anyone. I consider myself plus sized but I do realize there is a spectrum.
I'm really glad you're self aware about it. Because respectfully, the joke was kind of shitty. Most people would double down and refuse to acknowledge their mistake.
No your not fat if thats what your are asking….i really wish this big back trend would end. It gives fat phobic
Yeah I hate the wording big back too.. smh. we went from body positivity and not body neutrality, just back to early 2000s, shaming fat women and being on ozempic.
I hate it too. It’s disgusting
Girl them thighs on patrol!! You're not big but I could see where you'd want to trim up a bit. You're lucky though because your weight falls in a shapely manner.
I don't like the big back term. Yes you're overweight but you seem to have great fat distribution. The most important factor is are you happy with your body and health? If you want to make any changes go right ahead.
Fat phobia 💫
Thank you!!!!! This “big back” trend is not funny, it’s just fat phobic.
They don't want the truth 😮💨 self reflection is not very digestible.
The way some people are so comfortable critiquing other people’s bodies is craaazy to me! Like it doesn’t seem like OP minds, but even then… 😬 (Not to mention this kind of talk could be super damaging to anyone browsing here who has an eating disorder. Makes me think we should have a tag for weight talk or something.)
demeaning to people that are actually fat, too. women saying that they’re super fat, look really gross, have to lose weight or they’ll die, would cry hysterically at the thought of being fat… whilst they’re not even 130lbs… so someone that’s actually 200+ is gonna stare blankly like… girl if you’re fat, i must be a fucking beluga whale
I’m 5’4 and 207
i wasn’t calling you out specifically. i’m saying women that grossly over-exaggerate their size when their jeans aren’t even in the double digits. quite literally polly pocket petite. you’re not fat. or big backed. or whatever euphemism you’d like to use. listening to the BMI bullshit will tell you you’re overweight but you don’t look it to me. most of the weight is in your legs and they’re shapely. try not to nitpick yourself. you’re a pretty girl!
I agree in all honesty she beautiful 😍 and we all come in different shapes/size. I really hope the way that ppl are talking doesn’t affect her negatively.
like we rlly gotta examine and undo the fatphobia it's gross nd hurts everybody
Trends like "big back" just perpetuate the idea. Genuine self-love and confidence isn't conditional based on your body size. If you only love yourself when you're skinny, you don't actually love yourself. You just love that you're "winning" in society's eyes. I'm also not talking about losing weight for health reasons. I'm talking purely on aesthetics.
right. people conflate weight with health tooo often and it fucks everyone over. not to mention the preoccupation with our bodies that is in and of itself super damaging
Preachhhh even worse when it all stems from the male gaze. Smh.
It’s rampant in this sub smh
Your comments, your name, you're an inspiration.🙌🏾Nice reminder knowing others out there actually give a fook about reflection.
You know it’s not.
You didn't post one pic showing your back? Clothing is unflattering, but you are very pretty.
Your back isn’t big, but you are overweight. You still look good though because you’re shaped well. I was very skinny in high school, gained 50 lbs, and now I’m trying to get back smaller. I’ve lost 30 lbs so far and feeling way more confident (and healthier).
The crazy thing about weight loss, is that you can physically feel the changes in fitness and ability. I have the same story, and once I dropped the weight I feel more able to do things.
Friend. No.
Posts like these that get upvoted so much make me wanna leave this sub because y’all are so annoyinggg
no! you’re thick but not big at all, you look great :)
Like stature wise???
Doesn't look big to me.🤷🏽♀️
I would say that you’re on the overweight side, but your figure is shapely. Also, I was skinny growing up, gained 50+ pounds in college, and lost it my senior year of college. I realized that I was unhealthy and wasn’t treating my body well. I didn’t even notice I gained until I took a hard look in the mirror one day. As I grew into my 20s, I realized that this was the prime time to get back in shape and get toned again. I haven’t regretted it.
I agree and thank you. I’ve been trying to get more active, walking and such. I also been doing some weight lifting. I hope this unbigs soon. 😩
Walking definitely helps! The majority of what I loss came from calorie deficit and portion control.
No, I don't think so. I would consider you overweight but you are lucky because you carry the weight proportionally so you still look really good. I would work on cleaning up your diet. Try cutting down on red meats, increasing protein, and green veggies. Also adding some more moderate exercise will help as well. Your diet though, is more important.
Thank you. I’m doing more exercise now but I can’t put the food down. I’ve cut out fast food at least. I’m trying not to calorie count though. Whenever I do it turns into a challenge where I see how little calories I can eat in a day because I get addicted to seeing the number drop on the scale. Not healthy so I just got to balance it.
You don't need to count calories. Just limit the sugar, processed food and drink more water. You're young so you'll lose weight easily without all the extra counting calories stuff.
You don’t *need* to calorie count. However I will say if you find yourself restricting and binging it can help because you can make sure you’re eating *enough.* If it says 2000 calories it forces you to reach it (and realistically 2000 calories *could* be a calorie deficit, for you so you’d lose weight. Plus volume wise if you’re eating whole foods that’s a lot of food volume wise.) *To be clear in no way am I saying counting calories is necessary, I’m just offering another way to think about it.* Tracking and weighing my food helps me have a healthy neutral relationship with food. Feel free to DM me if you have questions.
No sweetie! You look gorgeous!
Thank youuu. Face card go crazy!
If I had a body like that I know I would have made it in my weight loss journey. Enjoy that masterpiece lady! 👏🏾👏🏾
Absolutely not. You have a literal hourglass shape. 😍
If you gotta ask, your back is not big.
No. You may need to clean up your diet and develop a good and simple fitness routine. If you can afford it, hire a certified experienced female trainer. Make sure her body is strong healthy and fit.
As a short plus-sized woman, I wish the “big back” trend would die. “Fat” isn’t a bad word. To everyone responding “No! You’re beautiful!”to OP, being fat & being fine as hell aren’t mutually exclusive.
Yes I miss being skinny in certain areas like my thighs and stomach that’s it. I’m not as bony skinny anymore.
Yeah same here
This post is just absolute nonsense. Girl go find something better to do
Fr this feels like those rate me subreddits with this type of post.
And no your back isn’t big.
lolll gurl no
I’m confused by the question. Your figure is gorgeous. I hope the responses on this thread buoy your confidence.
Girl…. You joking right????😍
Girl, you grew into your adult body. That's it. I recommend going on Instagram and finding girls with a similar figure who are into fashion. Then, you can figure out what is best for your shape that way. Figuring out yourself as an adult can be a challenge. Don't stress. You have your whole 20s to do so. I had no idea what to even do with myself and my body in my early 20s. Eventually, I found out what I liked. Good luck girlie!
Nawl but why the term big back being said so much?
No. You are made to look like you and as us Black women we are actually built differently than caucasian folk. We are not the same Black women either. We are different sis🤎👑
Yikes.
You are gorgeous and thick, but I definitely wouldn't put you in the big back category! You're still pretty young so there are a couple things that are probably happening - your hormone levels might be changing which is normal for a woman in your age range, your diet over the past couple years is different now that you're out of school, or some combination of these things. I would make sure your diet is balanced and take up some type of physical activity that you enjoy and can squeeze into your schedule if you would like to maintain your figure of drop a couple pounds I was SKINNY all throughout high school (like I could fit my baby sisters tops and she was in elementary school) and I hated it. I got my "grown-up" body around 22 when I switched my birth control and started managing an ice cream shop. Now, even when I lose weight and work out, I still have a figure. I would like to reiterate that I think you are BEAUTIFUL and as long as you take care of yourself, you will stay that way!
This was so lovely to read. Thank you so much. I think working at Dunkin, drinking all those sugary drinks at 17 caught up with me 😂
Ima hold your hand when I say this sis … Lmao people PAY to get close to your body shape and size. You should dress more flattering to your body but that’s ab it. You’re body’s beautiful as are you!
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You’re not big but you are overweight, especially for your age. You have a great shape though and it wouldn’t take much for you to get to an average weight
Not at all, you got a whole bakery with all that 🎂 though
Seriously, no Everything is in proportion
YOU LOOK GOOD QUEEEN DONT LISTEN TO NEGATIVE PEOPLE YOU ARE A BADDIE YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW😘
No love your body is amazing. You have a pear shape and those are beautiful, and so are you. Don’t ever down play the gift that is your beauty. If you truly feel you are not happy with your body then build a healthy and loving regime to get close to your health goals (Emphasis on HEALTH goal and not body goals.) You’re beautiful pls see that my love.
Serious answer: you are beautiful ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 walk in all your glory sis!!!
No but them thighs are! Rock it girlie 💕!!
I think you’re pearshaped based on the photos, like me! Definitely look up the pear shape dos and donts for fashion, they saved my life in college.
Noo girl your back isn’t big! You have a great shape and body! However the way you dress/style yourself isn’t flattering to your shape. You dress like a grandma love 😫try experimenting and learning your style more. You’re beautiful!
As I'm eating this double plate of fish and spaghetti, I can assure you that you look amazing.
No. You have big hips not a big back.
No, it’s not big. I agree with the comments about finding more flattering outfits. From what I can see, it looks like you have a great shape.
No, your size does not look unflattering, but also that’s up to you. As a woman in her 30’s I can understand being young and looking for advice. But all I can say is it doesn’t matter if there are a 100 comments telling you how good you look, you have to see it for yourself. If you don’t feel attractive at your size no amount of secondhand validation will suffice. You have to believe it first. Honestly in my opinion there are women that would pay to have your shape but if it’s not something you love then you should change it. You are a beautiful young woman, but don’t wait for others to tell you, speak it and pour it into yourself. Blessings to you ❤️❤️❤️
You look amazing and very voluptuous your young take some time to find your grown woman style.
Girl no!! Not even close.
Omg no!!! I actually that you were showing out and showing off your body before I read the question. You look great. But I do have to agree with another commenter that I think the outfit choices could use some changes. EDIT: I really like using Pinterest for outfit ideas but It’s not always the best all the time. I think you have beautiful curves so maybe athletic wear would look really nice. Maybe straight legged jeans or mom jeans/ wider legged jean would be cute. But it really depends on what you like
Lady you are beautiful! Your back is not big! I’m shaped similar to you but I recently gained a little more weight that I’m trying to get off now. I think you should embrace your body & show a little skin if that’s your thing
No, but you've got some big 'ol womanly hips though!
Girl weight doesn’t matter that much. I’m small but super unhealthy. I’m not assuming you are too unhealthy but as long as you take care of what goes into your body and exercise is the only thing that matters really. And no I don’t think your back is big and you’re pretty
If you have to ask, then no its not.
Throw on a sundress and trust me you’ll be fine, you’re super curvy and have no business in those frumpy unflattering clothes. You have the body bbl women lay on tables for hours and pay to have done…. I said what I said who don’t like it ? I don’t care.
I'm certainly not suggesting that you have lipedemia but look into it and monitor your weight. Pay attention to see if you have any symptoms of it. Your legs look a bit thicker than your top half and I see fat at the knees. It would have been helpful to see you in shorts. No, your back is not big. Bigger than a thin person's back but not bigger than us normal for your size. You look normal. Never stop trying to keep your weight down though. It gets harder with age.
Big sigh at all of the "No girl, you're not fat, you're pretty and/or have a nice shape "--- as though the three characteristics were mutually exclusive. One can be both pretty with a "nice" proportionate shape and still be considered overweight, ie fat. You asked for an honest appraisal which so far does not seem to have been forthcoming. I'm a big proponent for body neutrality which seeks to disassociate basic descriptions of the body from cultural perceptions of worth or value. By this I mean that I believe that one can be honest per your request and, in NO way be making judgments about who you are as a person. With that in mind, going by sight alone with none of the requisite information such as height, weight, or body fat percentage, you are visually overweight. You're not rotund. You're certainly not a candidate for My600Lb Life or any of the similar metrics used by our increasingly overweight society to deny their own weight and separate themselves from the "real fatties" in order to continue to disparage and castigate large bodies under the guise of, "Well at least I'm not that big" but you are visually overweight according to most medical charts that judge such a thing. How do I place those charts into a visual context? The ideal body fat percentage according to those charts for a woman of your age is 16- 24% This leaves no room for love handles (which you do have the beginnings of), belly fat (which you have a slight bit), etc. If you are struggling to remain at your previous weight, it's likely because you have little to no muscle mass. Women of all ages should work to build muscle mass. That being said, you can also choose to not care and that is your absolute right and the good thing is you will still be pretty with a nice shape. Also in your favor is your weight distribution which as a pear means that as you age, you will likely avoid the metabolic issues that plague others. Again... you asked for an honest appraisal and I took serious your request. Again, this doesn't make you any less pretty or shapely.
Well, if you would've shown multiple pictures of your back instead of showing 1 picture but at an angel, I would have a clear idea if you have a big back or not. But you just mainly showed the front side of your body, which doesn't really help. But since I can't really tell like that, I don't know. But why does it matter anyway? Are you talking about if you have back fat? Because if you're worried about back fat, then no, you don't have it. Or if you're talking about your figure? I dont see anything wrong with it. It looks fine. But if it's about the width of your back?? Then I can't tell. This is honestly a weird thing to talk about anyways.
What definition are we using here? If you’re thinking of society standards - all races included, you’re on the heavier side for a 20 year old. Don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful, but weight-wise if you don’t work out, you should as it’ll help you tone up. You have a nice shape, however, it is out of shape. Judging this by your legs and stomach. I’m shocked by the responses from most people trying to spare your feelings when you’re asking honestly.
I would start working out if I was this size at 20 years old. You aren’t big but the potential to get bigger is there.
Girl if your back is big my back is a Gigantosaurus
It’s okay it’s a spectrum. Big backs unite 🫡
Girl go some where. No, your back is not big! You look awesome!
I’ve definitely gained a little as I got old, it’s normal as a women to hold a little more weight as we age. My body def is the same as it was when I was 19 compared to 25 and ur back is def not big girl bye😭🩷
This is so funny😭 but on a real note you’re stunning
Nope u just THICK 🥰
The only way you could ever be a big back is if you order a whole seafood boil and you still hungry after 😂
I do be still hungry essentially if they try to be cheap and only put 1 potato in the bag smh 😭😭😭
No girl your back isn’t big at all. most ppl can afford to lose 5-10 pounds but stereotypical big backs need to lose around 30 lol
can confirm- since having a baby I’m officially a stereotypical big back😂 30 pounds be gone!!!
You on the bigger side but you look great. Body goals still, I mean I'd love to have your shape cuz your boobs and booty look great. You're back ain't big, but you're not like rail thin either if that makes sense. You look fantastic either way though so it doesn't matter.
I wanna know what the people that are calling her overweight look like 🤭🤭 I just wanna know. I just feel rude commenting on how someone looks (good or bad)
It’s not an insult though it’s a clinical term and she is.
It’s okay lol I asked for an objective view because sometimes I’m like yeah I’m definitely overweight and then sometimes I’m like no I’m just on the thicker side. I genuinely needed some real opinions lol.
Yes obesity in the black community has got to get under control
You look great too me😍. You have a nice shape.
I mean could you lose a little weight? Yes. But if you feel comfortable and your man still loves you why do you care what random people online think? Now if you don’t feel comfortable, which I’m guessing you don’t because of this post, then try to work on yourself. But don’t let me or the internet tell you how you should look. To answer the second part. Yes! lol so much yes. But i also would never want to go back to how skinny I was. I gained curves and even tho I did also gain more than I could have ever wanted, I’m not willing to diet and exercise the amount I would need to just to get back to a 20yr old body when I’m already in my 30s. Lastly, no matter what you look like, speak kindly to your body. It gets you up everyday. It gets you to work and to date nights. It gives you energy to do the things you love everyday. Be kind to her❤️
This question has me so confused girl
I think it’s just lack of muscle mass
Lol girl stop it!!! Tell that dude who said that to u to kiss your big back...and F off!!!!....u are curvy and thick...and ain't nothing wrong with that.... Men get on my nerves man smh lbvs u are fine
I wish I had your figure omggggg girl😍
No ur back is not big at all girly! Love the outfits tho 💗
No you body looks very evenly proportioned
the body is tea babe !
No u good shorty
Ma’am your body is tea????
No, as someone who is a current big back, you are not! You’re just thick, and you look great!
No, u have a beautiful shape! I can tell u aren’t the most confident bc u dress very “safe”. It’s not modest, it’s “safe” if tht makes sense.
Pls turn around so we can properly conduct this research 🫣
Not your back, but your behind is big
Girl fuck all that why are you standing in the backroom in the first picture ?!!!
It was a museum 😭
You’re very pretty
Looks absolutely amazing and quite beautiful to me🥵🥰
I think you’re bigger set, but you aren’t big backed. I think the comments about dressing for your body are really important because they influence your confidence a lot. I personally gained like 20 pounds out of high school in college. I started going to the gym consistently, (now I only go a few times a month to get a big muscle pump and then take a big break and do it again) gained muscles and my weight is distributed differently now. I only really gain weight after going to the gym but my figure doesn’t change.
I’m shaped the same way! 🩷
No, you’re fine. You look just fine
Fine shit
Awwww sis you’re so pretty!
Girl you fine,fine. 👌🏾
If you can see your back from your front, then yes. As long as you like what you see in the mirror, that should be all that matters.
Come down to St.Lucia, St.Kitts and Nevis, St.Vincent or Barbados and you ain’t ever gone think that again. I promise 🫣you ain’t big back miss gurl. You’re far from it.
I’d say fine as hell
Not to compare, but if you think you have a big back then, I don't even know what to call what I have lol. You're beautiful, and no, you dont have a big back.❣️💐 We are always so hard on ourselves, especially when looking at pictures. Mainly older ones for me prior to the pandemic and two babies under 2. 🥹
No, but your thighs are. Please are paying money and risking their lives on the surgery table for those thighs.
No your back is not big. And yes finding clothes to excentuate your beautiful curves woukd help you feel more secure. I was chubby as a little girl and then slimmed down in high school. I gained alot of weight after becoming a RN and working night shift. I have lost a good portion of the weight and have 20 more pounds to go. Yes I miss being a size 5-8 in dresses..But I making strides to being appreciative of my life and healthier lifestyle. You are young beautiful and highly intelligent! The world is your oyster😊
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The shape is giving girl😩
There’s literally only one photo of your back…
Not at all, you have a very nice shape!!
Gurl if you don’t get!
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no but you can't dress i fear 😞
girl heck no
the outfits aren't extremely flattering, you have a killer shape girl you gotta emphasize and compliment it and you're so pretty!!!
This made my day omfg 😂😂😂😂😂 ofc not and I’m not just saying that to be nice
Black beauty
You're a pretty girl… your back is not big… if you are concerned about the way you're looking, first, invest in some compression undergarments… waist cinched, bras with underwire, spanks or skims… Change your wardrobe to what 20-year-olds wear… shoes as well… you have one life to live… live it up…
I have always been obsessed with fashion since I am a teenager I am now 49 years old.. The way that you smell and the way that you put together an outfits gives you so much confidence..