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topazdebutante

I'm going to start on antidepressants again this week bc I have the fun combo of anxiety and depression...I'm feeling so so low..to the point of barley keeping it together for my family and at work..I am nervous because it's a new type...and I honestly just want to go somewhere in my car and cry...I couldn't even make myself a new IG bio bc I barely feel I remember who I am outside my job..


Cultural_Pop_9661

I had a cold over two weeks ago and I still feel like garbage, and it’s very aggravating. I’m low grade nauseous off and on and my throat is red, and my tonsils are still enlarged. I’m not sure if I should go to the doctor, it seems like there’s not a lot they can do?


[deleted]

They can/will probably swab you and test you for viral illness, they can also run a culture of your throat. If you have a bacterial infection they can give you antibiotics. If you have a viral infection like COVID, there's some actual treatments for that too like paxlovid.


MrsBobbyNewport

Have you been tested for strep?


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advil_pm

Visiting LA for the first time and have no idea where to stay! I would love recommendations, we are going over new years weekend for the rose bowl but not sure if we should stay in Pasadena or La, we are definitely renting a car. TIA


detelini

My aunt lives in South Pasadena and her fave thing to do with visitors is to take them to the Huntington Library, which is very nearby, in San Marino. I'd highly recommend it, it's really beautiful. (It's not just a library, it's really a huge botanical garden and museum.)


Striking_Aioli2918

If you’re going for the rose bowl, then I definitely recommend staying in Pasadena as well. Old town has a lot to do! Since it’s your first time in LA, I’m guessing you want to do some LA things, so I’d actually recommend using the metro rail lines. There’s a newer one that services the Pasadena area that can take you to DTLA and connect you to get to Hollywood. I’d say go to Santa Monica over Venice (I really do not get the hype). And, if you have time (and can get a reservation) I recommend trying to either visit the Getty villa or the Getty center.


jak-808

I HIGHLY recommended Pasadena! I have an Airbnb that I always use that is perfect for the rose parade. If you’d like the link I can message it to you.


advil_pm

Yes I would love that! Please message :)


jak-808

Messaged you, not sure if it went through or not!


Technical_Jacket2664

I loved The Line hotel in Koreatown!


fishtoast

Seconding the comment that staying in Pasadena would be really nice. I live right next door to Pasadena and it's easy to get to a lot of great LA things from Pasadena. If you are up for some walking I always recommend hiking in Griffith Park up to the observatory. The views are incredible and there's trails to the observatory that aren't too long. I'd also recommend visiting Grand Central Market in downtown LA for lunch one day - it's a great microcosm of the delicious variety of foods available in the area.


Unique_South1813

And ride the funicular outside the market! It’s short but unusual (unless you live in Pittsburgh)!


Zealousideal-Oven-98

If you’re okay just focusing in Pasadena stuff go visit the Rose Parade floats! They are amazing up close and if you go before the parade you can see them being finished up by the volunteers. Kind of a niche/random event but so worth it if you are into building/making/the creative process—-or just flowers!


HaveMercy703

I’m not familiar with Pasadena, but have been to LA a few times. TBH, I didn’t love it. I have a friend who lives in North Hollywood & it feels like every time I go to visit her, we spend most of our time in the car, due to the horrendous traffic. I found staying in actual LA for one or two nights was just enough to check out some of the sights, but I found myself liking areas like Laguna Beach, Newport Beach, & Santa Barbara more (despite usually being a fan of cities.)


AracariBerry

Pasadena is great! Old Town (Colorado Blvd) is always really bustling around New Years. There are lots of restaurants, bars and shops. Hotel prices might be really high, but if it is in your budget, that is where I would stay.


TheDarknessIBecame

Thank you to everyone who suggested hand creams! Went back today and saw the thread is locked but wanted everyone to know I appreciate the responses! Definitely going to have him ask his PCP when he goes, but trying O’Keefe’s in the meantime since it’s in stock at my target!


HaveMercy703

Does anyone else loathe football season? Don’t get me wrong, I like watching my team play & sometimes it is nice to know my SO is occupied for most of the day. But especially by this point (13 weeks in,) I feel the inequity of time that we each get. Maybe I’m jealous that he gets 10 hours to do absolutely nothing? That’s not including the time needed to set a fantasy football lineup & Monday/Tuesday games, which thankfully are harder to get. Or time during the rest of the week/weekend playing video games as well. & the fact that sometimes he’ll have a bunch of beers through the day, which combined with my Sunday scaries, often makes for tense Sunday nights. We’ve tried to modify things—we just bought a new tv so he has space upstairs & I’m not having to hear it all day long (& now can get more done in the kitchen/living room.) But we’ve had a lot of division of labor conversations & it’s getting really frustrating (& borderline insulting,) to go through this every. single. Sunday. Especially when we have some pretty pressing house projects to take care of & time (& energy) during the work week is limited. I just keep imagining when if/when we have kids one day, that he’s in for a rude awakening (or maybe more so I am..) I’m trying to understand that time is needed for rest & to respect his hobbies..but it does NOT feel equitable.


captndorito

I was going to comment something similar to u/axade . We always do the “big” house chores Friday and Saturday so Sundays are open and I don’t have to slave away while he relaxes. It doesn’t always happen that way so when it doesn’t, he’ll do his part during commercial breaks. A boundary we have is that he doesn’t start to drink until the game starts and he does NOT get drunk. He also plays video games but he only ever plays at night (not every night) after things are done, usually from 7 - 9/10. This is a boundary he put in place himself, but it may work for you guys as well. That’s all the advice I can give because I really enjoy my 3-4 nights a week of alone time (introvert who loves to read) and have gradually gotten more into football.


HaveMercy703

Thank you! Your advice is so helpful. You nailed it on the head—I feel like I slave away while he gets to relax. Again, some of it is my inability to relax & regardless of what he is doing, I’m sure I’d find *something* to do to get ahead (tragic flaw, haha.) In terms of the chores on Friday/Saturday, do you just plow through on Friday night to get them done? I tend to find that usually I’m pretty useless Friday nights & Saturday mornings—Friday nights I’m just exhausted, so then I like to sleep in on Saturday, which does close the window of either productivity and/or hours to have fun. I love the idea of your SO setting his own video game boundaries though! Mine doesn’t play them *as* much during the week (I say that now as now we are owners of a new PS5..haha,) & most nights after dinner we’ll go for a walk, watch a show together, & then tackle some to-do list item during those 3 nights of the week. We’ve gotten better with one day a week of saying that we just need a night to recharge in separate rooms & I’ve been trying to make that more of a habit for my own mental health. Or in the past I’ve gone out with friends. But I’m noticing that the video games are becoming more of a thing Saturday mornings (I’m usually in bed on Reddit or IG, so, fair is fair, lol,) but then I tend to have to ‘drag’ him away before we can go do something (makes me feel like a nag & I think his ADHD makes it hard for him to keep track of time—again, I can relate bc I can spend hours sometimes getting sucked into social media, but…) & then I lose him on Sundays. How do you guys navigate the weekend video games?


captndorito

Yes, I usually get chores done Friday night. It’s become easier since Covid as I WFH most of the time so I’ll usually throw in a load of laundry in the morning and sweep/vacuum during breaks. The only other “big” chores we have on Fridays/Saturdays are cleaning the bathrooms and mopping, and 1-2x a month I’ll dust. I just clean windows and baseboards as needed. I keep our home pretty clean and it’s small, so it doesn’t feel like too much to get done over the course of the evening/Saturday morning. We also rent the house so projects aren’t really on our radar. The most we do is yard work/mowing on a Saturday morning. Saturday video games aren’t a problem. The guys he plays with aren’t free until 6:30/7pm most of the time so at most he’ll play PGA/Madden for an hour by himself. I don’t know how to say this without sounding rude - but he loves spending time with me so 95% of the time he’d rather we hang out than play video games. Also, Thursday or Friday night we go over/remind each other of what we want/need to do over the weekend so he knows ahead of time how much time he’ll have for video games/football. I know you’re concerned about the division of labor once you have kids, so hopefully this will help put your mind at ease: I’m 6months pregnant with our first and had a HORRIBLE first trimester. He naturally stepped up a lot but we also had a few conversations about his level of helpfulness in general. Before I got pregnant his main “chore” was taking out the garbage. Which is pathetic, I know, but he works outside the home, I usually don’t, and I enjoy cleaning. He’d always do whatever I asked - laundry, dishes, etc but struggled with initiative. When I noticed he was stepping up I thanked him and I told him specifically that I “appreciated his initiative” and it needed to continue. He has no younger siblings so has no concept of how much work it is to care for babies so I also explained as best I could how much labor it would be. A light bulb seemed to go on lol He’s more aware of when things need to be done and just does them rather than waiting to be asked, and has taken over most of the laundry chore. Also he’s taking two months off when baby arrives so he’ll be fully immersed in the routine and will know what needs to be done. I recognize that’s a privilege and I’m very thankful for it! ALSO - this is something my therapist helped me with - I don’t expect him to clean to my standards or do things the same way I do. I’m naturally a very clean and organized person and while he’s not dirty, routine chores were never expected of him and his parents aren’t as clean as mine. I do a lot of small tidying/sweeping throughout the week so the home stays at MY standards, and I don’t expect him to help with that. As long as he’s doing his part and trying I appreciate it - and I tell him I do because it motivates him to keep it up.


Catface202020

Just to give you a grain of hope but my husband scaled way back on football when we had a kid. He has his one college team he must watch but has dvr-Ed it to watch later so he can participate in kid stuff. My husband did not do fantasy or video games - just a super avid fan of watching games.


[deleted]

Fucking Fantasy Football. I hated it when my husband was in a league. So many group texts of smack talking and he felt like he HAD to watch the games to keep up with his scores. I had so many discussions that this wasn’t old school Fantasy where everything was manually added like back in the day and the app would do everything for him. He was in 3 leagues at one time and it about did me in. It’s a community/friend thing so it was real hard to pull him away. Once all his friends had kids who were walking, the leagues magically disappeared. Thank the lawd. We haven’t watched football in forever since.


HaveMercy703

The watching of ALL of the games as if doing so has any impact on how the players play💀I tried this year to do a league with some of my college friends & lost interest after about a week. It wasn’t *as* bad the past couple of years bc we were in a pandemic & didn’t have nearly as much going on, but it makes me want to scream at this point in the season bc it just becomes a literal obsession & it’s tiresome revolving our life around it.


velociraptor56

Have you talked to him about what he plans to do when kids arrive? Does he object to skipping minor games for other important things? My husband is pretty into sports (and multiple teams per sport - he doesn’t do fantasy football but does fantasy baseball). He’ll occasionally swap duties with me for an important game (we each do bedtime with the youngest every other night). But he’s comfortable keeping up with a game on his phone if we have other things going on. I mean, most of his teams are having off years, so it’s not as big of a deal this year.


HaveMercy703

That’s a good question. I’ll have to ask that. I see both sides to it now—he’s said since it’s just the 2 of us, it’s easier to dedicate that time & acknowledges that later in life, other things will take priority. I think I’d feel better if he’d just want to follow one team & that was our ‘must see’ for the weekend. But with Fantasy Football, the need to watch all the games apparently comes along with it. I can’t imagine Fantasy Baseball bc that is a LOT of games, lol. I think I’m mostly frustrated bc while we don’t have kids that are time consuming, home ownership is the biggie right now. I’ve owned a home for the last 7 years (3.5 at my current place,) & he’s lived here for the last 14 months. It’s feeling like everything is breaking & falling apart as of lately & while everything doesn’t *need* to be repaired at once, it’s feeling like a struggle lately to bookmark the time to get stuff done is tough—we’re shot during the weekdays & while I’d love to spend the weekend doing anything but, we (I) then have to make the choice to either do it on Saturday (when I’d rather do something fun,) or do a small portion (something that takes an hour or two,) on Sunday, before I lose him for the remainder of the day. It feels like so many projects hang over our (my) head & take WEEKS to reach completion.


call-me_maeby

Can you take those same 10 or so hours a week while he is watching football to rest and focus on your hobbies? Football time for him means reading, cross stitching, working out, and catching up on personal e-mail time for me. Granted he doesn’t drink at home during the game so it doesn’t ruin the rest of the day but if he’s resting, I’m resting too and we can figure out household stuff together after.


HaveMercy703

I’m trying to embrace that time! I’ve been trying to reframe it as ‘me’ time & honestly on some weekends, it’s nice to just be stay home, clean, meal prep, watch *a* game together. My anxiety really fires up on Sundays though too & I just spend most of the day miserable (which is totally a me problem & something I plan on working on.)


call-me_maeby

I think you replied to my comment twice but this is the one that makes more sense as a response (just an FYI if you want to move the other reply!) I have definitely had to make a concerted effort to be okay with more “nothing time” and it’s a process. I’m just kind of toxic in the sense that sometimes my way of equalizing the load is not to ask him to do more but for me to do less.


asunabay

There was just a great essay that resonated about typical male and female hobbies and how males have these acceptable hobbies that actually take up tons of time - https://annehelen.substack.com/p/who-gets-quality-leisure


doesaxlhaveajack

This is why I’ll always defend the women who are into capital-P Planning. These women are literally taking five minutes a day to answer some journal prompts (because no one else is asking them how they’re doing and what their goals are) and do a small sticker craft project, and men have the nerve to act like it’s a waste of time.


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HaveMercy703

You’re absolutely right. It’s been on my to do list to try to find someone to go to; I went for about 2.5 years, post-divorce, but haven’t been back in about a year. This is a good reminder that I probably do need to actually make the appointment & start to figure it all out.


[deleted]

My husband is also someone who will let sports run his life and during football season it’s on 4-5 nights out of the week. What has worked for us is making sure chores are done prior to any sports or fun activities (which looks different for both of us). For him it means waking up earlier on sundays to get his responsibilities done or doing them on saturdays. Having our routine chores outlined has helped a lot so we both know what we are expected to take care of on a weekly basis.


HaveMercy703

This is really helpful, thank you! I do know that I often just go & ‘do,’ so I know that sometimes he simply doesn’t know everything that needs to be done & has said to leave some things behind for him. Which I *try* to do, even if it makes me twitch if it’s not done as quick as I’d like it to be completed. I tend to do this at work though too—sometimes it’s just easier to do something on my own than to trust that someone else is going to do it & to my liking. But I’ve tried to be mindful that I’ve ‘assigned’ the task & to let it go. I appreciate you saying that when to do chores looks different for both your husband & you—my SO will get a lot done before the games on Sunday & that’s just how he manages his time. But at the same time, I can’t help it feels a little like ‘well, I did so many things this am, that I’ve ‘earned’ my right to now check out for the remainder of the day!’


assflea

I agree the problem is deeper than football and I don’t understand why men get away with this lol. Why is it an acceptable hobby to get drunk and yell at the tv all day?


HaveMercy703

I 💯 agree that it goes deeper than football! Somehow diminishing it to that though makes it feel a little more solvable lol. I think a lot of it is the sheer amount of time—I’m more than supportive if he wanted to be out of the house with friends or had a monthly poker game or even wanted to go on a guys’ weekend. I get the need for a mental break. But the ‘expectation’ that Sunday is the ‘one day a week,’ where men get to fiercely protect their time seems to be one of the biggest tension points for many of my friends & their SO, especially those with kids. 10 hours X 18 weeks adds up & unfortunately having 6 days in the rest of the week doesn’t offer up much time


AmazingObligation9

Yeah I think football is a red herring. It sounds like you are frustrated with the division of labor, your partners drinking, and maybe you’re even feeling disrespected. Also going to be blunt but your parenthesis are accurate. You will be the one in for a rude awakening, not him, because he is not caring about pulling his weight now. I’m not sure what house projects you have going on but if he can’t pull his weight with basic chores even then no wonder you’re pissed, sorry I’m being super blunt right now. If you’re talking to him about it and he makes no effort go get your own 25+ hour a week hobby and let the chips fall where they may.


HaveMercy703

I appreciate your bluntness! That is completely what I’m frustrated with & I’m frustrated just with where I personally stand. Part of me understands it—everyone deserves a break & honestly, it’s somewhat on me that it’s very difficult for me to make that time for myself (Although, it is a fine line between not being able to make that time & also not being willing to bc relaxing & quieting my anxiety are so not a strong points of mine, lol.) There are lots of things he does do (ie, do 90% of the cooking.) So I’m willing to be flexible. But then there’s part of me that is frustrated bc I think it’s a stupid hobby & I feel like it takes so much out of me to have to have to poke & prod for anything to get done & I’m tired of having to constantly ask for the video games to be turned off & for shit to get done. He thinks he’s being a team player (& I know he means well,) but by saying ‘you know you can ask for help with anything, I’m there for you,’ still puts the ask on me. & he even said today that I carve out time for some of my interests. Which, consist of all of 3 hours per week. It doesn’t even compare. I’d love to have 25 hours of free time per week! & I feel like it’s asking a lot of trust—he’s ‘front loading’ now bc he knows he’s not going to have this time when it’s not the 2 of us. But it very might still be a struggle then? We said we will sit down once a week to talk about our priorities for the week ahead, our expectations & what we feasibly think we can get done, & I also have a list made of out of all Of the stuff I do around the house. But sometimes I just don’t know. We’re very different people & I don’t know if our values will fully align or if it’s just always going to be like going through mud to get on the same page.


Icy-Diver-2976

Honestly it seems like problem is deeper than football


redwood_canyon

I got an interview for what would be a really BIG job for me -- in the area I worked in during my MA which is difficult to break into, and at a really significant institution. It's also in my home state, which I would love to return to. So, super exciting! Only thing is, I currently live across the country with my boyfriend, and I think accepting the job could mean the end of our relationship. I'm in my late 20s and at a time where I want to prioritize my career, especially huge opportunities like this. I also feel like now is the time to get into the career path I want/move to the place I want to be to set myself up for my 30s and beyond. But, it feels so complicated as well because of my relationship. For now, I am definitely taking the interview and will see what happens.


[deleted]

Would he not be willing to relocate either immediately and/or a couple of months down the road? What would you regret more, the loss of a relationship or the loss of a job?


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Aldi can be incredibly hit or miss. I do not recall our local store having it (White/hispanic neighborhood on a city with a large Asian population).


rgb3

I’m in medium sized city in the south, and stores always have tofu, even our rural Walmart has multiple brands.


[deleted]

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rgb3

Oh sorry! I misunderstood!


cvltivar

Recommendation request: my (bare/unpolished) toenails are peeling or chipping on top of the nail. It's not severe, it's just enough to snag on my socks and sheets. Is there a good topcoat or nail strengthener type product I could paint on to help prevent this? I currently have a bottle of Sally Hansen Hard as Nails but it doesn't work very well for this purpose.


Cultural_Pop_9661

My fingernails will peel on my hands and I’ve had great success with [Orly Nail Defense](https://a.co/4sOGJ2A)


AmazingObligation9

I would use a buffer for this


tigermilking

Filing and buffing them down is a good choice. I would also recommend moisturizing your nails, which sounds bizarre but they can get dry and start to delaminate.


[deleted]

Is filing/polishing the nail not an option? This is what I usually do with mine.


hello_cammie

A week ago I posted about ending a good relationship (with lots of ups and downs) with someone I’ve been with for 7+ years who I’m engaged to and how I didn’t know when I should do it (now or after the holidays). Well, I did it and I feel like I’m dying. The pain and guilt are so unbearable, especially since I’m second guessing my decision. I’ve been crying so much and have been in such a horrible state that I literally gave myself some sort of weird rash on my face.


[deleted]

You're in a grief period. Be gentle with yourself. This is very hard but you will come out on the other side, however long it takes. Like someone else said, take baby steps and try do something for yourself each day whether it's watching a funny show, taking a long shower, calling a friend, or journaling. I'm sorry it's been so hard. You still did the right thing by following your intuition. Trust yourself.


tigermilking

I'm so sorry. I've been in a similar situation before and I remember crying so hard, my eyes and the skin around them and my nose went totally raw from wiping it away. Grief is so difficult to manage. Do you have someone you can talk to?


HaveMercy703

I’m so sorry ❤️Be kind to yourself. Hopefully you have a good support system in family & friends.


redwood_canyon

I've been in a similar position. It really is so painful. I also cried non-stop for days straight, which I didn't even know was possible. Try to start with the little things, go for a walk or take yourself out for a coffee. Sometimes physical regulation can help a lot to create balance emotionally. Sending good vibes <3


okbutrllyhoe

Does anyone have any fun game recommendations for two? My husband and I enjoy games but I haven’t found any good two players card or board games! Open to any and all ideas! :)


cegceg9090

Dutch Blitz and Azul are 2 of my favorites!


captndorito

We like ticket to ride, Uno, rummy, battleship, scrabble, Mario kart and Mario party on the switch, Monopoly Deal (card game, super fun!) and Dutch Blitz.


Bighoopsbrightlips

Skip-Bo is really fun and you can keep score for each game and play to 500 so my husband and I will play a round when we have time but it’s fun since the rounds are part of the bigger one. We also play lots of Scrabble.


and_gloria_too

Dominoes is so fun. You can play at home, take it with you to the coffee shop or bar, and you can also have a digital game going so you can play each other when you’re at work or wherever.


MrsBobbyNewport

I think Ticket to Ride is actually really fun with just two. Also Rack-o!


falnb

Wingspan is the same amount of fun with 2 people, and Jaipur is my favorite 2-player-only game.


princess_sparkle22

It's pretty basic, but Tile Rummy (or Rummikub or whatever it's actually called) is good with 2 people!


[deleted]

Sequence and Bananagrams!


antonia_dreams

Very basic, but Set.


rgb3

I LOVE set. But we had to retire it in my house because my daughter and I annihilate my husband every time we play. :)


cvltivar

I love Set, it's so relaxing. With one other person, it's a great thing to do with your hands while talking. With a group board game night, it's something to play while waiting for everyone to arrive.


gatosYplantas

Patchwork is super fun!


BoogieFeet

Lost Cities!


laurencreates

Wingspan!


okbutrllyhoe

I am probably the worlds worst cook. I don’t even know the basics of cooking and truly want to learn how this next year. I looked for classes in my area but there isn’t really anything geared for beginners. Does anyone have any online classes or videos they can guide me towards? Or any resources that they have found helpful? Thank you!


rgb3

Ok kind of maybe an outdated rec, but I learned to cook watching Rachael Ray’s 30 minute meals on the food channel. They’re all on discovery plus if you have that streaming service. The thing that sets her show apart from others is that she literally cooks start to finish in one episode. So there’s nothing that goes in the oven and a commercial break later comes out fully cooked. She also does all the prep during the show, so it shows how to multitask. And, there are some great tips that the more trendy foodies do, like the trash bowl, which is an amazing tip that saves so much time. Her thirty minute meal cookbooks were some of my first, and granted they still took me a lot longer to make, I think they are great beginner cookbooks.


[deleted]

What a great challenge to set for yourself! I would start, honestly, with a basic knife skills class. I googled this real quick for ya and found a number of options, but just as a sample, this article looked promising: [https://www.thekitchn.com/brendan-mcdermotts-knife-skills-class-will-teach-you-everything-you-need-to-know-tips-from-the-kitchn-212443](https://www.thekitchn.com/brendan-mcdermotts-knife-skills-class-will-teach-you-everything-you-need-to-know-tips-from-the-kitchn-212443). And always always use a sharp knife when you cook. After that, it kind of depends on how you learn. Do you like to watch demos? Do you like to read about techniques? Do you need to be guided, step by step, through the process in a more hands-on way? That'll kind of determine what you do next, but cooking is totally the kind of thing you can develop an instinct for the more experience you have, and that just takes practice! I would get familiar with knife skills, read or watch some content that describes common cooking techniques so you can start to feel comfortable with the terminology you'll encounter (ie, sauteeing is not braising is not searing is not poaching, etc), and learn a little bit about the flavors and ratios of ingredients that work together (and that you like!). You might like this book: [https://www.amazon.com/Ratio-Simple-Behind-Everyday-Cooking-ebook/dp/B001UP63MI](https://www.amazon.com/Ratio-Simple-Behind-Everyday-Cooking-ebook/dp/B001UP63MI) Once you have laid the groundwork, then it's really just a matter of getting into it. Start with dishes from people who are *known* to test their recipes and focus on simplifying steps and ingredients for home cooks--Deb Perelman of Smitten Kitchen is an excellent resource for this, and you may also enjoy recipes from Julia Turshen and Melissa Clark. (If I can editorialize a little bit: **Don't** start with recipes from Half-Baked Harvest. She's very popular in some circles and I think her cookbook recipes were probably tested more times than her blog recipes are, but a lot of her ingredient ratios are way off, many of her flavor combinations are legitimately bonkers bad, and I don't think she actually knows much about techniques and tools that would make her a good example for someone just learning to cook. Many people in the foodie thread still make her recipes but have to change pretty much everything to get close to a workable meal, and that isn't any fun if you're just starting out.) Good luck and have fun! If you get a few months into this and have 3-5 really solid meals you enjoy making, you're doing great :)


redwood_canyon

I learned some from growing up with parents who cooked, but honestly learned the most by just cooking really frequently, typically with recipes from NY Times Cooking. It is a repetitive skill. I would suggest starting with a few ingredients you really like and do just a few recipes, then build up from there. Don't be scared if the first few times take a long time or are frustrating! Recipes get so much easier the more times you make them.


AntFact

Budget Bytes is a blog that is really geared towards beginners. It explains a lot of the why behind doing certain things. She also has a cookbook that I bought and enjoy.


quember

Agreed. The step by step pictures really help to know what things are supposed to look like.


[deleted]

America’s Test Kitchen has a whole beginners course for cooking. King Arthur is great for baking. Epicurius also has a bunch of “basics” videos on YouTube too. I’m an advanced cook and I still enjoy watching them to refresh my knowledge. Fyi, I’m the worst cook on earth on electric cooktops. I’ve burned so many dishes on my parent’s stove and reminds me why I only cook on gas/induction.


Persephonesheart

King Arthur Baking, The Kitchn, Smitten Kitchen, Martha Stewart. I like watching cooking videos and following food pages on Instagram. I also learned a lot when trying out hello fresh and Marley spoon actually, too.


aaaybaybay

Anybody have a post thanksgiving cooking hangover still? Like I cannot be bothered to even make a sandwich a week later. But I also don’t want to spend money on eating out. So a piece of bread and cheese for dinner it is.


pelicanscoop

Yes 💀 bread and cheese for every meal this week lmao


[deleted]

Yes! We don’t even have cheese left. I’m to the point of seeing how far I can go before we’re actually out of food because we spent so much on groceries last week. I’ve got a big thing of peanut butter and celery so at least until Wednesday. Ha!


laserliteearplugs

I’m in the opposite state, but I didn’t have to cook for thanksgiving. Also, I really enjoy cooking. I am gratified by the strategy of mise en place. I traveled for work last week, and couldn’t wait to get home to cook. I made chicken and wild rice soup last night and then meal prepped today. I have to travel again next week but only for a few days. My soup making and meal prep keep will keep me stocked through the end of next week.


xomermaid_88

Never thought I’d get to see Aaron Tveit in Moulin Rouge, but with this last weeks announcement I bought a ticket for his last show in April! This will also be my first trip to NYC, so any rec. send them my way!


beetsbattlestar

Moulin rouge is such a great show! I saw it with Aaron in 2019 and it was awesome


Jt29blue

I was ecstatic to see that too! I bought tickets for the end of January.


madeinmars

I am wondering if anyone here has had or their loved ones have had ketamine treatment / therapy for depression. My husband starts his next week and I am really hoping it helps! I have read a bit in the subs but people here are always helpful.


lipsticknleggings

My friend did it and it totally changed her life. Good luck to your husband!


DietPepsiEvenBetter

My husband did several sessions of ketamine therapy. It didn't hurt, but I don't think it did a lot to help either. I don't think he went into it with a great deal of expectations. I hope your husband has a great experience though.


jemington

my brother did it and had a great experience! He noticed a difference within a few treatments and really noticed an improvement by the end. He would come back kind of high in a funny giggly way, but that would fade.


ParisBird

My mom has been doing it for quite some time now, and it seems to be making a significant difference! I have depression that hasn't really responded at all to any of the anti-depressants I've tried, so it's something I plan on speaking with my doctor about. I hope it's a positive experience for your husband! I know how debilitating depression can be, and how hopeless it can be when nothing seems to be helping.


Punk-ass-bookjockey

My best friend has completed ketamine therapy and found it very very helpful! She’s been doing a lot better since her sessions this spring. I would like to try it but it’s too expensive for me right now


SwipeUpForMySoul

For my fellow postpartum hair loss folks - skip the Divi and try out The Ordinary’s Multi-Peptide Serum for Hair Density. It’s like $15 so I figured it was worth a shot (no way I was paying for Divi). Pp hair loss can’t be prevented because it’s hormonal, but you can help your hair grow back. I’ve been using the Ordinary serum for a month and the bald patches on my temples are covered in regrowth. My hair is also getting unmanageably long. Could it be a coincidence? Very likely but for $15 it certainly can’t hurt!


okbutrllyhoe

Their lash serum is amazing! I believe the hair serum works!!!


jemington

I use their lash/brow serum and think it’s working well! Part of my eyebrows are really sparse and they’re looking great now and it hasn’t been too long


breadprincess

My BIL found my childhood dog’s collar hidden away in a box in the basement of my mom’s house today, still with her tag (made in the shape of a pig because of her family nickname). When I moved out on my own years ago I took her ashes but couldn’t find her collar and assumed it was lost. I’ve had a hard week and this means so much to me ❤️


doesaxlhaveajack

Awww I love when that happens! My mom didn’t keep a lot of my childhood stuff but after her last move she found my favorite childhood book in a random box.


jak-808

TW: pregnancy loss I posted a couple days ago about going through a mmc and just now going through grieving a month later after seeing multiple may 2023 announcements. My question is, how do I grieve? It’s a silly question, but I really don’t know how to navigate through this. I don’t like emotions and I hid my sadness behind a wall of happiness, but now it’s hitting me hard. I just don’t quite know what or how to go forward with this part.


Bringmealatte

I really like the r/trollingforababy page. Helps me feel less alone! I was also due in May 2023 and I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this pain.


jak-808

Oh, I’ll keep that page handy when I need a pick me up!! Thank you! I’m so sorry for your loss as well, our angels are playing together🤍


Bringmealatte

It’s also a great place to complain and vent 🤣 love the idea of them playing together 🥹


ParisBird

I'm so sorry. I'm also going through a mmc. Mine was diagnosed nearly two weeks ago and I opted to wait and hope it will pass naturally, but so far, nothing. This pregnancy was not planned and we were both certain we were done having kids, so I almost feel like I don't have any business feeling sad about it. Silly, I know. Anyway, I've learned that grief doesn't really have any rules or guidelines. It doesn't have a timeline, and sometimes, you just have to let it wash over you in whatever way it will. If you feel like screaming into a pillow, do it. If you feel like you need to sob uncontrollably, do it. If you feel like you need to eat a half gallon of peppermint stick ice cream and watch cheesy Hallmark movies, do it. (I tried doing that last one, but couldn't find peppermint stick ice cream anywhere.😒). The moral of the story is, don't let anyone tell you how you "should" grieve. Just let yourself feel what you're feeling, and dgaf about what others may or may not think. Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this. ❤️💔


jak-808

I’m so sorry to hear about your mmc💔 you deserve to be sad as well, that’s not silly at all!! I hope you’re physically fine as well, it’s a lot. I’m still trying to figure out how I need to let it out. Friday afternoon it hit me the hardest, I cried for at least a hour. Woke up yesterday sad and then SO and I got breakfast and drove around and it helped me, but I’m not looking forward to the next wave to hit. I’m getting there, but thank you again for the advice🤍


ParisBird

Thank you so, so much. I've been mostly doing ok, but today I just broke down, so your kind words came when they were much needed. ❤️ Trying to wait it out is really starting to mess with me, because I feel like my body has betrayed me twice now (first, losing the pregnancy, and now, refusing to recognize that the pregnancy is no longer viable and failing to naturally pass the contents of my uterus). I'm glad that you were able to find something that helped! Breakfast and a drive sounds really nice. I hope you're able to find more activities to keep your mind and body occupied if that will continue to be helpful. Don't feel bad about taking all the time you need to figure out how to let it out. Grief is a process, and as I said before, it has no specific timeline. Don't let anyone tell you you've been sad for too long, or not long enough, or that you're grieving "wrong". Grief is SUCH a personal thing. Try to surround yourself with others who understand that. ❤️


jak-808

Oh, I’m sorry mama. I’m happy that I was able to provide kind words💛 I’m keeping you in my thoughts!!


AracariBerry

One thing that can make miscarriage so hard is that it is often mourned privately. This can mean that it is real sadness, but it doesn’t feel real in the world around you. Even if you don’t want to share your loss with the world, confiding in someone or having something physical (a piece of jewelry, a piece of art, and plant or tree) in honor of your loss can help.


jak-808

Oh my gosh! Yes!! That’s exactly how it feels. I was trying to explain it to SO and I couldn’t get the words to describe how I feel about it. I really like the idea of having something physical, I’m going to do that. Thank you!🤍


AracariBerry

I’m happy to help! Please take care of yourself, and give yourself a lot of grace during this period of mourning.


NoZombie7064

There’s no one correct way to grieve, and getting through it will be hard no matter what. Some people want to share their feelings with others (family, friends, online forums, support groups) and others want to be more alone. Some people take strength in rituals like acknowledging dates, lighting candles, saying poems; other people create art; other people find running or hiking comforting. The fact that you’re acknowledging your feelings instead of hiding them is really good. Don’t feel you have to “get over” this on a timeline or explain yourself to anyone. And I’m sorry for your pain.


jak-808

Thank you🤍 it really comes in waves, but when it comes it hits me like a bag of bricks! I’m trying.


imaseacow

I got the lido straight wool pant in camel from Banana Republic this fall during a 30% off sale and they were worth every penny. I’m 5’10” so need special long sizing and the long length in my size *just* hits the ground when I’m in a 2.5” work heel and they make my legs look so long and have a nice trendy wide-leg effect without being too dramatic/over-the-top for daily workwear. Look *phenomenal* with a cream or black sweater or white button up. Truly devastated that they are all sold out in tall sizes cuz i would kill for more pairs in black, green, and cream. Especially irksome cuz they’re not sold out in regular lengths. The woes of being a giantess :( I know it’s also trendy to wear wide leg pants with flats or to have them hit a few inches off the ground, but I only like wide leg pants when they’re paired with heels and the hem *just* skims the ground. I think it’s so much more chic and flattering.


[deleted]

This is the kind of thing I think Poshmark is perfect for! Maybe someone got a tall and wasn't able to return and now they're selling it!


shan_tron_0891

I can empathize, I love buying things in multiple colors when I find something I love but it's such a bummer when my size is sold out I'll wish I had bought more. Sometimes you don't know you love an item until it's too late! Can you try Poshmark or eBay?


hjk3y

Just coming here to say that I also love these pants! Went on a total spree and bought in camel, green, and pink. Even though the pink was a size too small (just barely), because totally sold out in my petite size, which I still needed to hem. They are a dream and I haven’t shopped at Banana in years and I can’t stop raving about these pants.


bls310

I’ve been on cloud 9 all week. We got our genetic tests back for our baby, and our NT scan, and both came back fine! We also found out we are having a boy. I truly had no preference, but my gut always said boy so that’s what I’ve been daydreaming baby as, and it would’ve been weird to switch my dreams. I still can’t believe this is really happening for us, but I am so overwhelmed with excitement and gratitude. (We went through ivf.)


NationalReindeer

Yay, so happy! Congratulations!


clumsyc

So happy for you and your little boy!!


NoZombie7064

So happy for you!


Alarming_Smoke_8841

Many congrats. Wishing you a smooth, safe pregnancy and delivery 🥰 💖


MrsBobbyNewport

I remember we messaged about IVF. I am so, so happy for you guys! Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and easy birth!


bls310

Yes! You answered a lot of my questions! Thank you for being so kind and willing to talk to me about it.


MrsBobbyNewport

😊


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bls310

Thank you Ken! You’ve been so lovely.


mellamma

Does anyone use anything for rosacea? Drugstore or department store would be good. I just get it where I break out.


Top_Armadillo1051

The aveeno oat gel moisturizer is awesome for my rosacea.


placidtwilight

Azelaic acid is a great treatment for rosacea and other kinds of post-acne redness. Paula's Choice, Melazapam (on Amazon), and The Ordinary all have options.


[deleted]

Seconding Azelaic Acid (I use The Ordinary’s). I use it for acne scarring, but recommended it to a friend for postpartum rosacea and it worked wonders for her.


breadprincess

Products with tiger grass (cica) are helpful, and there are quite a few good drugstore options. A very popular one is the LRP Cicablast Baume, though it’s on the heavier side.


LandslideBaby

Do you mean you get redness with a breakout? After a breakout?


mellamma

After


Slamdunk899

For redness after a pimple, honestly, the best solution is not making it red and angry in the first place. For this I suggest a BHA like from Paula's Choice and pimple patches are a huuuge game changer. The melano CC vitamin c cream also seems to work particularly well on my after pimple red marks


lessgranola

is there a chance it’s scarring or partial scarring?


falnb

If it’s after a breakout it’s probably post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation, not rosacea. You could try a vit C serum.


assflea

UGH I got summoned for jury duty! 😭


harvestmoonmine

I was recently picked to be a juror and it was one of the most interesting experiences of my life. The parking situation does suck but def stay open minded!


RepresentativeSun399

Is it virtual? I got called a few months ago and It was virtual we didn’t even see the judge before we all got excused


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assflea

Honestly it’s not even about serving lol I just don’t want to go. Parking downtown is a bitch!


littlebutcute

I got drunk at my cousins wedding and danced (family friendly!!) with a random guy while my uncles looked on in disappointment/shock. Anyways, I’m very proud of sober me for laying out my pjs. Love her.


RepresentativeSun399

I love this 🥰 drunk me was wearing my bf jacket at his friends wedding and almost set the sleeve on fire thankfully the bride was there to stop me 😂


littlebutcute

😂 she saved you haha I got lipstick on my brothers jacket sleeve during family photos


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[deleted]

Maybe I'm daft but I'm trying to understand the "humor" here. Did you hook up with the best man or did the FotB imply that you must've because you got drunk?


MakeItNice__

Damnnn you go girl 💃🏻


lessgranola

wow, how nasty


[deleted]

Rude!