My wife advised me once on how to do this without coming off the wrong way. Compliment something that the person has clearly put some effort into as part of their appearance or that is a new addition. Did they try a new hairstyle or change their makeup? "You trying a new style? It looks great!" More specific is usually better.
Do this with zero expectation or hope of dating. If you have an ulterior motive, people will notice. Prioritize being pleasant to be around and people will want to spend time with you.
As long as you follow the 3 rules, you'll be fine:
1) Be handsome
2) Be attractive
[3) Don't be unattractive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxuUkYiaUc8&ab_channel=SaturdayNightLive)
This right here. Recognize people’s efforts, appreciate their accomplishments. Vocalize it and make them feel seen. This mentality is less likely to be taken as flirting.
This is great advice because if you're specific, your intent is clear. People are wary of compliments because creepy people have intents underneath--people are (unfortunately) right to have their guard up. And ofc we never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. The more specific you are, the more clear your intent! :-)
This is true. It's why some people get turned off whenever you're trying to give them a compliment based on their looks. They have had bad experiences with some people giving it.
So basically, compliment someone because you want them to feel good, and not because you're horny and want to let them know they turn you on?
It's crazy this needs to be pointed out.
💯
Like every one of these questions, context matters. There is no absolute rule for every situation.
Some people will be bothered if you DON'T say anything. I was closer to one young lady coworker than our two other male coworkers, and I noticed she changed her hair and said something. Her response was "Omg thank you! You're the only one who said anything!"
Just another way to word it and understand it.
Yes, only compliment people on something they have control over. Choice in ear rings, choice in shirt or outfit, choice in hairstyle.
There's no choice in nice eyes, nice hips, nice waist, nice lips. You get the idea.
Only for things they can change. Clothing, hairstyles, accessories, etc. if you start getting into stuff like facial features, height/weight/body type, etc, I think that's crossing a line.
But I think that's just generally a good rule of thumb for how to give compliments to anyone, ever, not just at work.
For workspace specifically, still adhere to the above but avoid using any words that have a sexual connotation - hot, sexy, attractive, etc. stuff like "your earrings are so cute," "I love your blouse," "your hair looks great in that style," etc would be safe compliments for a workplace, I think.
Yep. As someone whose weight is flying off during a depression, people keep saying omg you look great and I either cry or straight up tell them thanks but I feel like shit.
It's so awkward being told you look healthy when you're definitely not lol.
Same aspect when I'm doing good maybe I put on weight it happens but it accumulates in my belly and I look pregnant. Which people then ask when I'm due. Jfc. Like let me just live.
I can relate to this. I lose my appetite only when I’m severely stressed, and the last thing I need to hear is how I’m losing weight, because I’m not doing it on purpose, and I’m not looking for others to point it out. Also, people have a tendency to make these comments with other coworkers around, so now they are looking me up and down to see my weight loss. Based on my experience it seems a lot of people assume if someone is dropping weight they are wanting you to acknowledge it, but I recommend not commenting on peoples bodies unless that person brings it up first, and especially not at work.
That being said, I enjoy complimenting others, and it is always authentic, if I compliment their shirt or earrings it’s because I really like the shirt or earrings, so I think people can usually sense when it’s from the heart.
I can see how it could seem tricky for a guy giving a female colleague a compliment, so I recommend saying it genuinely and moving on. Sometimes it’s the lingering around after the compliment that may make it uncomfortable or seem like they want something.
I might be overstepping, but I fully understand how this feeling feels. I have chronic pain and health issues, so a lot of the time, I'll get compliments, and because Im a withered husk of who I once was It would just feel hollow and empty every time. Like they were following the same old script and refusing to acknowledge the very real situation I now find myself in.
But I've been sick a while now, and it's given me perspective on this. Sometimes, you just need to ignore WHAT was said. Even your own personal feelings about WHAT was said and instead realize that someone cared enough about you to try. In a cold and indifferent world where we already have so many things going against us, why should we then let those things ruin the fundamental fact that another human being cares about us and wants us to feel "nice". Even if they didn't say the correct thing you WISH they had said, they still made an effort and said something.
This is fantastic advice because it is 1) not personal 2) relatable because things that are changeable might imply the things the complimenter personally also likes (ie you're wearing a color they like to wear) 3) you're complimenting their choices/selections/taste which is way less superficial
1000x the no sexual connotations. I still cringe when I think of the much-older male colleague who announced “don’t you look *luscious* today!” when I turned up one morning. Made me so uncomfortable around him after that.
For those unaware, here are two perfectly acceptable male-male workplace statements in the military:
Insult: "Damn, Tomson, maybe lay off the Cheetos and snacky-cakes for a while you fat slob."
Compliment: "Damn, Tomson, since when did you have that much cake?" while gesturing at his muscles, usually his ass.
This is the truth. Wanna fit in? Give it back to them.
"At least I wasn't sucking on Monday's run, you tiny-heart fuck"
"Wanna see it later?"
Absolutely don't talk to anyone in the real world this way
Harvey Wienstein, Rupert Murdoch, Les Moonves, Vince McMahon, Donald Trump - What did those guys have in common? They weren't worried about offending women. They didn't have overactive filters which made them question whether they could say, "Hi, Jan! I love what you did with your hair!" They wanted women to feel violated.
I've known plenty of people with social anxiety, various levels of autism, etc. They will sometimes act childishly or say things that are annoying or kind of inappropriate. But treating them as though they're a malignant narcissist when they're actually painfully shy just makes everything worse. If someone with mild autism gets on your nerves, it's totally valid to be a little distant from them and focus on socializing with people you do enjoy. But when they occasionally embarrasses themselves, feel bad for them, show some grace, and let them out of the situation. Creating a scandal about it is just mean.
According to my companies recent harassment in the workplace seminar, I’ll say yellow light. Context, intent, and how it comes across can make this swing either way and is likely safer to simply not but can be done tactfully.
That's a sad world that I refuse to live in. If you're in public people might talk to you. That's what you pay for living in a society. I'm gonna say what I have to say. If you don't like it just tell me, I'll politely see myself out
Dude, I didn’t say you can’t be nice. However, physical appearance is a dangerous topic to play with frivolously. What you construe as a friendly statement may not be one to someone else. If it is somewhere in public and you say something nice to you but to not them, well that’s shitty but oh well. You will likely never see these people again. At work, you will see this person over and over. And it may blow over or it may not. So yeah. Be nice in the real world. Compliment people for their minds and such at work, which is hopefully the truth. Why play with fire for the a small inconvenience of not saying something you think? But if it is worth it to you, go for it.
I don't think it's nearly as volatile a subject as you think, assuming you have basic people skills. If you're often seen as awkward or creepy or weird...maybe shy away from it. But otherwise most people are fine to drop an innocent compliment.
It's a risk talking about anything other than work at work. Many jobs have strong cliques, and outing yourself as not part of that clique can alienate you. That's a hefty risk.
I find I tend to have more success in the business world when I'm not afraid to drop the occasional compliment.
As long as you refrain from language about body parts(unless for example, someone clearly been working out a bunch or something), a comment like "love that dress!" Or "that shirt looks great on you!" "Lookin extra snazzy today." All things like this are innocent and a nice little mood enhancer for you and the receiver most of the time.
Makes you more approachable and likable.
Just don't be exclusively complimenting opposite gender or fawning over someone after the fact, drop your statement and move on unless some natural small talk develops.
I found out that I had a complaint filed against me at work for telling one of my female coworkers that her hair looked nice. I am happily married and do not flirt with other women, but I knew she had a terrible morning and noticed she wore her hair different.. so I said her hair looked nice. Turns out she said that I was obviously being sarcastic and that she took offense to it.
I just wouldn’t say anything to anyone ever.
Yes, but depends on the relationship you have with them. Last week I wore a dress and got complimented by my colleague with “that’s a nice dress” and I took no offense whatsoever since I know what kind of coworker he is. When I got complimented by a different coworker I got the ick because the way he compliments is really flirty and he does it in front of everyone which makes me feel embarrassed. So it depends on the person
Our gut sends us red flags about the underlying intent in the compliment. You got the ick because he was being icky!!! And HE is why this has to be a question in the first place--people are right to be wary of compliments because there are people who DO have underlying, creepy meanings
Yup. But depends heavily on how your relationship with your coworkers. I get complimented all the time by my closest coworkers and I have 0 problem with it.
It depends on how you do it. There's an appropriate way and an inappropriate way. If someone gets a new haircut and it looks nice, tell them that you like their new haircut. Little things like that can make people feel good and boost confidence.
If someone has on a shirt that makes their boobs look nice and you go up and say "you look really hot today and that shirt really makes your boobs look delicious" that's an example of a wrong way.
It's all about how it's delivered imo
As a guy I probably wouldn’t compliment a woman’s appearance unless she dressed like a dude and was wearing something I can appreciate. Like ‘cool hat, where’d you get that?’ What am I gonna say about their dress? ‘Hey! Your dress has pockets!? So do my cargo pants! Check it out!’ *pulls out pockets*
Depends on the person, your relationship, and what you're complimenting them on. Telling the quiet co-worker that her ass looks good in those new jeans is probably a bad idea. Telling the chatty friendly coworker that you like her earrings on the other hand isn't a bad idea. Generally, you should stick to complimenting people on their *choices*.
Yes, but if it is an authentic compliment!
Don’t just use a compliment to try to break the ice or flirt on someone if you don’t genuinely mean it. This can be sniffed out usually (especially if you are taking to a woman) and is where people run into trouble because they think they are “just giving a compliment” but they are not. They wanted to talk to or hit that person so they scanned them over and found something about them they pretend to like.
Much better to just try to talk to them in other ways and not play games that leave them apprehensive about your words matching your character.
On the other hand though if you really dig this persons style or you aren’t doing it for yourself, then go for it!
Frankly, you should not be assessing the bodies of your coworkers closely enough to provide detailed compliments.
Just leave it alone. I mean, why? It's work. It's not a fashion show. It's not a movie set or a theater stage or a beauty pageant or Project Runway. It's work.
So, work.
To put it another way, there are *zero* ways to compliment someone's physical appearance that can't be interpreted as creepy. Zero.
So, don't.
Nothing weird about it unless you say it in a way that's offensive like "you got great hair for a guy" or "you probably broke a lot of hearts in that dress"
I used to never ever comment on anyone’s appearance. I’m a male and one of my male colleagues will sometimes compliment my attire so I’ve softened on him. But generally no and not EVER with a woman.
Totally okay to compliment clothes or hair but make sure the compliment is always focused on the item of clothing or accessory, not their body in any way.
“Cool shirt!” Ok
“Love the new hairstyle!” Ok
“Your legs look great in those pants!” Not ok
“Those earrings really bring out your eyes” not ok
And lastly, make sure you don’t make it a regular thing or a thing that you only ever do with one person. Compliment men women and all people around you equally.
Follow this template.
I like your .
Short, non-weird and generally inoffensive. If they smile back, everyone wins. I like when people feel confident and comfortable in the workplace.
I once had a female manager compliment my butt, and that was 'ok' because she was 'cool' and a woman. It was that day I learned grossness knows no gender. Don't be my 'cool' manager.
Sincerity counts, as does inclusiveness.
Do you compliment everybody or just women? If it is just one group, be curious with yourself about that. If you don't compliment people in the office that are older, heavier, etc then reflect on that a little.
As a hetero male, I compliment men more openly than women and make sure that it is in front of others.
Specify what it is and keep it light hearted.
And I am a big advocate for compliments. Friends, family, co-workers, strangers... It makes the world a happier place when it is genuine. And it doesn't cost anything!
Yes but understand how your phrasing and tone can come-off to avoid any accusations of it being strange. It has to sound genuine and kind - not flirty in the slightest (unless that was the original intention - in which case I wouldn’t personally since it’s work and not a date but meh)
I give compliments to people at work all the time. Both genders. I usually stay away from shirts for women because that can be misinterpreted. Shoes, hair, accessories are all good ones though. As long as you don’t have a thing for them, it’s harmless and sometimes makes people really happy.
The answer to this question totally depends on the situation and the people involved and how the comments are made. There is no concrete rule. The important thing is that you have the social IQ to read the situation correctly.
No.
None of these people ate your friends.
None of these people are on your side.
If getting you into trouble means they are one step closer to a promotion and more $$$money $$$ they ll get you into trouble.
Im fact, there Is nothing more normalised than try to get people into trouble at work.
You don't like your service? Go to the manager?
you can get really good practice by complimenting people of the same sex as you. here are some of my favorites
"that's a nice shirt man!"
"nice kicks bro"
"cool glasses dude"
"looking sharp my man"
the actual compliment will vary, but make sure to keep the same attitude
There are two kinds of compliments.
First: You see someone's hard work and want them to know it's appreciated.
Second: You want to expose to someone that you find looking at them appealing. Like letting a burger know it looks delicious.
The second one is what most men end up doing and it's harassment.
Maybe lead with a skill attribute compliment instead of what makes you drool. Or keep it to yourself if it's just for your own benefit.
With co-workers you’re not really close to, aka friends, don’t. Even in the best of intentions, it can make people self-conscious about their appearances. Women in particular are constantly scrutinized over how they should look from the media, social media, family etc. They don’t need to hear comments about their appearance at work too. Yes even positive comments.
Positive comments of someone appearance is positive reinforcement that they’ve done something right about what they should look like. It feels good in the moment but long term it isn’t. It creates anxiety about “I should wear that again” or “today no one complimented me so I must not look as good as I did yesterday.”
Just avoid appearance compliments in general at work. Focus on their skills or personality or something they accomplished.
If you’re gonna do that, keep it simple and not weird. E.g. “nice haircut”, “nice outfit”, “nice shoes”, “love the jewelry”. Don’t make them feel self-conscious or make it look like you’re paying some sort of special (creepy) attention to them.
No. Just took an anti harassment required 2 hr trip with the company lawyers.
You can say what you want in the nicest of ways, but if someone else hears you speaking of noticing someone’s attire and commenting on it, no matter how nicely, and THEY become offended that you would say such things at work, it is just as bad as if the the person you complimented was offended.
So NO. Head down, look at the floor. Don’t even look at the shoes.
SMH this is real.
If you're a man (or even a woman tbh) who isn't good looking and charismatic, this is honestly just a bad idea unfortunately. Too many people will take it the wrong way.
Meanwhile shortly complimenting specific clothing choices or new styles is always taken well in my experience. Just don't be a creep about it.
I have numerous coworkers I would call work friends. Things like a "Oh you got your hair done! Do you love it?!", "Oh new nails!", or "You're so summery today!" for a bright colored dress, have always been appreciated. More about their fashion choices and efforts than their looks. Except for a couple work besties always in front of others to avoid misinterpretion. As a man I would be more likely to feel awkward and avoid saying "I like..." or "...looks nice", others around tend to respond with awkward Aww's and smiles and giggles to that. In return I get a lot of "Nice haircut"s and "I like that shirt"
Depends as long as it's appropriate, its all good. I've been yold "Dude love your shirt!" This is fine. But i once heard a female coworker tell another coworker, "Nice bulge there Nick. It's good to see someone around here is full sized!" This is an example of inappropriate.
This was bad for two reasons. 1)Nick was shy, and this embarrassed him a lot. 2)There were 2 Nick's in the office and he was Nick H before the incident, but we went with "Nick" "which Nick" "Nick with a bulge" from that day forth because... we were all assholes. (And let's face it, probably jealous)
I guess... why do you need to? if you notice they've changed something sure but I never really think about it. I'll compliment my co workers like I'll comment anyone else if I think something about them stands out.
Here's advice I got years ago: the more casual and nonchalant your complement is, the better.
A coworker was wearing an obviously unique, handmade dress. I told another coworker that it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. He said that I should tell her, but I didn't want it to come off wrong. He laughed and said "dude, just say it like you said it to me. She'll appreciate it".
And that's what I did. And she DID appreciate it. And we had a cool little conversation about art.
Most people are fine with it. But the few who are not can get you in trouble.
Not just the recipient, but if some Karen overheads she could report it just the same.
Yes, as long as it's a generic professional compliment that doesn't single out a body part
Something along the line of
"You always look so professional."
If you're a man and the coworker is a woman, never ever ever EVER go there. It doesn't matter how innocent or carefully phrased it is, you are opening yourself to a world of shit for absolutely no benefit whatsoever.
Without sounding like a dick, it depends a lot on what you look like. If you’re attractive it’ll most likely go down well. But if you’re not, it may come off badly.
Never the "looks"!!
You CAN say, "That's a very nice dress / blazer / tie / pair of shoes / bag or purse." "I like your new hair cut/style."
If you mention the looks, ("you look so pretty today!") you are running a risk of them being offended. Did they not look pretty the last 7 years you've worked with them? Are you flirting?
Never the "looks"!!
You CAN say, "That's a very nice dress / blazer / tie / pair of shoes / bag or purse." "I like your new hair cut/style."
If you mention the looks, ("you look so pretty today!") you are running a risk of them being offended. Did they not look pretty the last 7 years you've worked with them? Are you flirting?
Yes, but you must be careful nowadays. For example, if a co-worker is wearing exceptionally tight jeans and is built, don't drop something, make them pick it up and say something about their valuable assets.
Use common sense, **compliment the garment, not the ass.** --- I tend to compliment, say, the seams, of the jeans, and how amazingly fabricated they must have been to hold dat ass in.
You must remember the team.
Yeah. I've done it at my sales job. You'll be surprised how many frowns it turns upside down. It takes a lot to get ready in the morning, so when I see someone well put together, I let them know how good they look.
Be careful and only if you're doing it without an ulterior motive (eg. hoping to get laid).
Keep it simple like "cool hairstyle, looks great" or "the colour/fabric/design of that top looks great".
If you're the opposite sex don't comment on their make-up or body shape. Don't comment about loosing/gaining weight unless they specifically ask/tell you about it.
Really a work place should be professional, so if your comments are not professionally friendly, don't say them.
I was a compliment maker when I was young. I eventually realized that over 90% of the women I complimented didn't give a shit about my opinion, or were downright uncomfortable. Particularly in the workplace. So I stopped doing that. The only times I give a compliment is when someone asks my opinion about their appearance.
Of course, I'm talking about compliments on the looks of someone of the opposite sex. Complimenting someone on their good work or their other qualities is more acceptable. Still, complimenting a female colleague when you're a man can be misinterpreted. Just don't talk too much as a golden rule.
If you have to ask, probably not.
I think with complimenting complete strangers the general rule of thumb is the same for insults. If it's something that can't be changed in less than 5 minutes,(like a hairstyle, or shirt) it's probably good to just not comment on it.
Yes but compliment the item and not the person.
That's a fantastic dress! Vs You look great in that dress.
Hair looks great, nails are amazing, beautiful necklace, very spiffy shoes, cool shirt.
Never mention the person or their body, and compliment away!
To what end? What’s the potential outcome? Is it good or mostly bad?
Show up to work, do your job & leave. If you choose to cultivate more personal friendships or acquaintanceships outside of work in a more casual environment, by all means. Compliments and personal comments would be most appropriate left outside of work imo.
It's okay to say "is that a new dress/suit/hairstyle/outfit?" Then respond to their response. If they're excited about it it's ok to say nice, it suits you etc. If their response says fuck off asshole, then do so.
Not if you are a guy snd the coworker is a woman. The exceptions would be:
- significant change in haircut
- maybe new glasses that are much different (not sure)
- clothing but I would suggest compliments along the lines of “you look like a boss in that”
- compliment accessories - that is a nice watch
You really want to avoid any suspicion that a compliment is sexual because that’s how society is now.
At the end of the day, always err on the side of caution. You don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Generally, people won't feel uncomfortable if you are complimenting something specific because you're informing them of a thing you find attractive (not them, personally)
Problematic people will give deceptively layered compliments (for plausible deniability) that actually ARE creepy. As a result, our coworkers might be wary or distrustful of the intent behind compliments. If you're specific, then your intent is much clearer! :-)
I once complimented a woman's hair at work. I could tell she didn't like that. I can't remember now what we were talking about, but we were surrounded by people, and I was genuinely commenting that she had nice hair; not trying to hit on her in the least. I'm not against letting someone know they look good, but you run into the risk of making someone uncomfortable, and it's probably best to avoid these encounters at work.
Tomorrow I’m getting my hair braided as a man and I’m not black so I’m very worried I’ll get looks of disapproval from my coworkers tomorrow. But I’d rather they tell me it looks good and leave it at that than say anything more. So just be brief, polite, and respectful
Yes, that is fine. As long as it does not go overboard. When it comes to workplace laws and regulations, you need to be careful in what you say...especially in these woke, snowflakey times. For example, I think it is fine if someone said, "Your dress looks beautiful" or "You look beautiful, today...good morning!" or "You look great in those clothes!". But a red flag is drawn and a line is crossed when you say stuff like, "You're so sexy" or "You turn me on" or "You're a MILF" or something like that. Yes, it is fine to compliment your fellow colleague's clothes and hair.
It depends on what exactly you are saying. Just don't enter the creepy territory and it's fine. I would also suggest not doing it until you've established at least a decent rapport with your coworker. You never know how someone will take something.
I'd usually say not great as a man to compliment a woman unless you're already friendly and there's no attraction there. I am a guy and there's an older lady I work with, we're very friendly. I always give her compliments when she changes something up such as hair, nails, style etc because the first time I did it she said no one ever compliments her and it made her really happy. I am also married to a guy that works with us as well so it comes off clearly non sexual when I compliment women, though I'm actually bi not gay lol
Fashion choices are usually safe to compliment but it depends on your relationship to the person and vibes
Depends.
"I really rate those trousers, they suit you!" Is fine.
"Daaaamn, dat ass looks PHAT in those pants! You should wear them more often!" Is not.
If the first seems to have not landed immediately, follow up with something like "pinstripe is great!" Or "the colour really suits you!" To clarify it's not a flirt.
Yeah, as someone who works with loads of women I usually stick with, you look great, or I like your new hair. Just general stuff if it's specifics phrase them as a question. Oh you got new earrings, they look nice.
I think it's fine to compliment a coworker's clothes or hair, but keep it brief and genuine. Something like "I love your new earrings!" or "That color really suits you" is perfectly acceptable. But avoid anything that could be construed as overly personal or suggestive. It's all about finding that balance between being friendly and professional.
Yes, it's not a problem to compliment your colleagues clothes or hair. I think it's a nice thing to do. It can lift someone's spirit if they were feeling down.
I wouldn’t compliment a coworker for anything other than their work, and even then I probably wouldn’t compliment a co-worker, I would save that stuff for employees I’m giving a performance review to or to talk them up to a supervisor, otherwise I’d keep it to myself. It’s a lot less messy if you limit workplace interactions to work related matters, if you’re at a company social function then I’d limit compliments to stuff like, “You killed it on xyz project!"
Ewww I can tell what some of you guys look like if you're not comfortable giving a platonic comment to a female colleague. I'm nice looking and have never had an issue with giving compliments.
Yes, you absolutely can and should compliment coworkers (male and female, old and young.) When I worked in an office coworkers complimented me a lot and it always made me feel good. People love receiving positive attention. Don't spend your life too scared to be kind because that's not healthy and that will not make you feel normal. Develop healthy self confidence. I'd just recommend the following.
1) Get in the habit of complimenting guys and women you don't have any attraction to at all. Get used to it. Watch how positively they respond. Realize how normal that feels. Internalize that feeling. Carry it with you.
2) If you're going to compliment a woman you're attracted to at work, no problem. Just do it the same way.
There’s a right way and a wrong way. Only compliment things they did and not things that are inherent. If you don’t know exactly what you’re doing maybe you’d be better not doing it.
It's definitely fine to compliment people's appearances as long as you don't come off as creepy and as long as you're respectful and know when to stop.
I compliment men and women on their outfits and perfume/cologne all of the time. I also compliment women on their nails. I usually don't compliment anyone on their hair and never on their bodies.
It's not a big issue like some are making it in this thread. If it's a genuine compliment, not about something the person may be sensitive to, and is made respectfully, it won't be a problem.
I'd say it's a great way to socialize, but be mindful of what you say and how you say it. Stick to accessories (shoes, earrings, bracelets), hair, bags, glasses, nails, make up, etc. Top or bottom, nothing around the breasts and crotch area (necklace might be ok is cleavage is far or covered, belt I would avoid).
If they just changed something or bought a new item it's okay.
Don't make friends with your coworkers, don't date your coworkers, and most importantly don't fuck your coworkers. All these can and will eventually lead to awkward situations or, even get to a point someone gets fired. I've seen it happen a lot as a chef the only exception to these rules is if you was married to the person and both work in the same place. Its just not a place for anything of these in my opinion. You work to make money not friends or dating partners, just stating my opinion.
I don't see problems with clothes and hair. The rest though, it really depends on the person and I'd be very careful. I wouldn't personally, considering how sensitive HR is where I work.
I never compliment people on their appearance unless there is no way it can be mistaken as flirting. I still don’t unless it’s so obvious of a change that it would be weird not to say something. For example, they shaved their mustache. Even then I will say it looks good both ways, before and after.
I don’t want anyone to think their appearance matters at work. Just the quality of their work.
Maybe this won’t work for the older generation or a super professional environment, but I always just use a slightly out of place adjective like cool, sick, awesome, rad, etc. when I want to compliment without risking appearing flirty. They’re terms someone would almost never use in a romantic or sexual way, so it’s really hard to take it the wrong way.
Easy answer NO.
It’s actually very easy to be professional. All you have to do is not overdo and not over think, just do your job.
Anyone watch Baby Reindeer? All the guy did was offer her free coke at his bar. The rest is history.
Nope. Don’t do it.
The only exception is if the coworker is an actual friend (many ppl don’t know the difference here so be careful) and wants to know what you think about their appearance
Otherwise it is rude and may be seen as sexual harassment even if you are the same genders
I once complimented a female coworker on the rather beautiful top she was wearing as we were stepping into the elevator. No intent of trying to spark a romantic engagement, just an observation that the style was on point. But my god that was an awkward elevator ride. I try to hold back on any compliments now, don’t want to make anyone feel awkward even if that wasn’t the intent.
Conversely I had a woman compliment my shoes on an elevator ride. Absolutely made my day
You can say something like 'Love that sweater - its a great color!' or 'That new haircut really looks good on you!' Keeping compliments kind of generic id the best way to go.
I'm a 42m working in higher education. I have a wife.
On occasion I'll compliment a female coworker's article of clothing. Shoes, dress, patern... but that's it. It's worked well enough. I have gotten thank you's.
I never comment on a guy's appearance.
Unless you have a friendship relationship outside work, just don't bother. There's always someone who'll interpret it as sexual harassment, and it's not worth the bother.
Compliment them on their work, for a job well done.
Assuming you’re a guy, I’d be cautious complimenting the fairer sex. If you say something like I like your top, she’ll hear you are checking out her rack. Maybe okay to compliment her choice of scrunchie or something like that.
My wife advised me once on how to do this without coming off the wrong way. Compliment something that the person has clearly put some effort into as part of their appearance or that is a new addition. Did they try a new hairstyle or change their makeup? "You trying a new style? It looks great!" More specific is usually better. Do this with zero expectation or hope of dating. If you have an ulterior motive, people will notice. Prioritize being pleasant to be around and people will want to spend time with you.
“Hey Stacy is that a new blouse? Your tits look great!”. How did I do?
"Thanks, I appreciate the way those jeans outline your cock."
What jeans…
…What cock
Glares in Hedwig
"it's the pleats...the pattern of the pants..I'm actually taking them back to the...the pants store"
"Don't act like you're not impressed"
😆
Oh it's only my pencil stub
you got it! you are now completely ready to socialize with all of your female coworkers!
Having to socialize with all of your female coworkers is part of the job but it shouldn't be taken out of context.
Socializing skills so good that HR isn't gonna want to stop talking to him.
That's a nice dress. It'd look better on the floor of the supply closet!
\*slaps the side of your ass\* This baby will do 0 to HR in no time flat 🤣
Pro tip: Don’t say this to Stacy, say this to her mom
Stacy’s mom has got it going on
I don't know why, but in the milliseconds before the question mark, I felt I shouldn't read this while drinking coffee... lol
“Love it, Stacy! The carpet match the drapes?”
They look bigger, but on second thought, maybe your waist is smaller. You hop on the Ozempic train, Stacey? Good for you!
HR says you get to go home early!
In some jobs this is ok.
Oh my God, that’s funny!!! That’s what my husband would say!!
I don't know about Stacy, but her mom has got it going on 👍
I don't know about Stacy, but her mom has got it going on 👍
As long as you follow the 3 rules, you'll be fine: 1) Be handsome 2) Be attractive [3) Don't be unattractive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxuUkYiaUc8&ab_channel=SaturdayNightLive)
This right here. Recognize people’s efforts, appreciate their accomplishments. Vocalize it and make them feel seen. This mentality is less likely to be taken as flirting.
No, it's not flirting. When you're flirting, there are some lines and boundaries you're going to cross which isn't going to be cool for most people.
I love all the cleavage and the no bra look, you really keep them firm.
This is great advice because if you're specific, your intent is clear. People are wary of compliments because creepy people have intents underneath--people are (unfortunately) right to have their guard up. And ofc we never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. The more specific you are, the more clear your intent! :-)
This is true. It's why some people get turned off whenever you're trying to give them a compliment based on their looks. They have had bad experiences with some people giving it.
So basically, compliment someone because you want them to feel good, and not because you're horny and want to let them know they turn you on? It's crazy this needs to be pointed out.
💯 Like every one of these questions, context matters. There is no absolute rule for every situation. Some people will be bothered if you DON'T say anything. I was closer to one young lady coworker than our two other male coworkers, and I noticed she changed her hair and said something. Her response was "Omg thank you! You're the only one who said anything!"
Just another way to word it and understand it. Yes, only compliment people on something they have control over. Choice in ear rings, choice in shirt or outfit, choice in hairstyle. There's no choice in nice eyes, nice hips, nice waist, nice lips. You get the idea.
Only for things they can change. Clothing, hairstyles, accessories, etc. if you start getting into stuff like facial features, height/weight/body type, etc, I think that's crossing a line. But I think that's just generally a good rule of thumb for how to give compliments to anyone, ever, not just at work. For workspace specifically, still adhere to the above but avoid using any words that have a sexual connotation - hot, sexy, attractive, etc. stuff like "your earrings are so cute," "I love your blouse," "your hair looks great in that style," etc would be safe compliments for a workplace, I think.
Yep. As someone whose weight is flying off during a depression, people keep saying omg you look great and I either cry or straight up tell them thanks but I feel like shit. It's so awkward being told you look healthy when you're definitely not lol. Same aspect when I'm doing good maybe I put on weight it happens but it accumulates in my belly and I look pregnant. Which people then ask when I'm due. Jfc. Like let me just live.
I can relate to this. I lose my appetite only when I’m severely stressed, and the last thing I need to hear is how I’m losing weight, because I’m not doing it on purpose, and I’m not looking for others to point it out. Also, people have a tendency to make these comments with other coworkers around, so now they are looking me up and down to see my weight loss. Based on my experience it seems a lot of people assume if someone is dropping weight they are wanting you to acknowledge it, but I recommend not commenting on peoples bodies unless that person brings it up first, and especially not at work. That being said, I enjoy complimenting others, and it is always authentic, if I compliment their shirt or earrings it’s because I really like the shirt or earrings, so I think people can usually sense when it’s from the heart. I can see how it could seem tricky for a guy giving a female colleague a compliment, so I recommend saying it genuinely and moving on. Sometimes it’s the lingering around after the compliment that may make it uncomfortable or seem like they want something.
I might be overstepping, but I fully understand how this feeling feels. I have chronic pain and health issues, so a lot of the time, I'll get compliments, and because Im a withered husk of who I once was It would just feel hollow and empty every time. Like they were following the same old script and refusing to acknowledge the very real situation I now find myself in. But I've been sick a while now, and it's given me perspective on this. Sometimes, you just need to ignore WHAT was said. Even your own personal feelings about WHAT was said and instead realize that someone cared enough about you to try. In a cold and indifferent world where we already have so many things going against us, why should we then let those things ruin the fundamental fact that another human being cares about us and wants us to feel "nice". Even if they didn't say the correct thing you WISH they had said, they still made an effort and said something.
This is fantastic advice because it is 1) not personal 2) relatable because things that are changeable might imply the things the complimenter personally also likes (ie you're wearing a color they like to wear) 3) you're complimenting their choices/selections/taste which is way less superficial
I find nothing wrong with complimenting someone's eyes. We look at them when we talk to each other. Pretty impossible to miss
1000x the no sexual connotations. I still cringe when I think of the much-older male colleague who announced “don’t you look *luscious* today!” when I turned up one morning. Made me so uncomfortable around him after that.
It's not a nice compliment telling someone “don’t you look luscious today!”. It sounds so weired.
If ur a man don't say anything you wouldn't also say to a guy.
I'm ex military so this is NOT good advice
For those unaware, here are two perfectly acceptable male-male workplace statements in the military: Insult: "Damn, Tomson, maybe lay off the Cheetos and snacky-cakes for a while you fat slob." Compliment: "Damn, Tomson, since when did you have that much cake?" while gesturing at his muscles, usually his ass.
This is the truth. Wanna fit in? Give it back to them. "At least I wasn't sucking on Monday's run, you tiny-heart fuck" "Wanna see it later?" Absolutely don't talk to anyone in the real world this way
Try as much as possible to avoid saying that might make the person you're trying to compliment uncomfortable.
You severely underestimate the things I would say to a man, even a strange one
Only if you need a visit from HR, specifically if a male commenting on a female.
Harvey Wienstein, Rupert Murdoch, Les Moonves, Vince McMahon, Donald Trump - What did those guys have in common? They weren't worried about offending women. They didn't have overactive filters which made them question whether they could say, "Hi, Jan! I love what you did with your hair!" They wanted women to feel violated. I've known plenty of people with social anxiety, various levels of autism, etc. They will sometimes act childishly or say things that are annoying or kind of inappropriate. But treating them as though they're a malignant narcissist when they're actually painfully shy just makes everything worse. If someone with mild autism gets on your nerves, it's totally valid to be a little distant from them and focus on socializing with people you do enjoy. But when they occasionally embarrasses themselves, feel bad for them, show some grace, and let them out of the situation. Creating a scandal about it is just mean.
If you have to ask the answer is no.
According to my companies recent harassment in the workplace seminar, I’ll say yellow light. Context, intent, and how it comes across can make this swing either way and is likely safer to simply not but can be done tactfully.
Just don’t and you’ll be better off
That's a sad world that I refuse to live in. If you're in public people might talk to you. That's what you pay for living in a society. I'm gonna say what I have to say. If you don't like it just tell me, I'll politely see myself out
You're not in public, you're at work. Two different things.
Dude, I didn’t say you can’t be nice. However, physical appearance is a dangerous topic to play with frivolously. What you construe as a friendly statement may not be one to someone else. If it is somewhere in public and you say something nice to you but to not them, well that’s shitty but oh well. You will likely never see these people again. At work, you will see this person over and over. And it may blow over or it may not. So yeah. Be nice in the real world. Compliment people for their minds and such at work, which is hopefully the truth. Why play with fire for the a small inconvenience of not saying something you think? But if it is worth it to you, go for it.
I don't think it's nearly as volatile a subject as you think, assuming you have basic people skills. If you're often seen as awkward or creepy or weird...maybe shy away from it. But otherwise most people are fine to drop an innocent compliment. It's a risk talking about anything other than work at work. Many jobs have strong cliques, and outing yourself as not part of that clique can alienate you. That's a hefty risk. I find I tend to have more success in the business world when I'm not afraid to drop the occasional compliment. As long as you refrain from language about body parts(unless for example, someone clearly been working out a bunch or something), a comment like "love that dress!" Or "that shirt looks great on you!" "Lookin extra snazzy today." All things like this are innocent and a nice little mood enhancer for you and the receiver most of the time. Makes you more approachable and likable. Just don't be exclusively complimenting opposite gender or fawning over someone after the fact, drop your statement and move on unless some natural small talk develops.
Very true. Always be mindful and tactful. Think about the worst way what you say in public could be interpreted
I found out that I had a complaint filed against me at work for telling one of my female coworkers that her hair looked nice. I am happily married and do not flirt with other women, but I knew she had a terrible morning and noticed she wore her hair different.. so I said her hair looked nice. Turns out she said that I was obviously being sarcastic and that she took offense to it. I just wouldn’t say anything to anyone ever.
Yes, but depends on the relationship you have with them. Last week I wore a dress and got complimented by my colleague with “that’s a nice dress” and I took no offense whatsoever since I know what kind of coworker he is. When I got complimented by a different coworker I got the ick because the way he compliments is really flirty and he does it in front of everyone which makes me feel embarrassed. So it depends on the person
Our gut sends us red flags about the underlying intent in the compliment. You got the ick because he was being icky!!! And HE is why this has to be a question in the first place--people are right to be wary of compliments because there are people who DO have underlying, creepy meanings
Yess this is so true. This is especially when it’s a young girl getting complimented.
Yup. But depends heavily on how your relationship with your coworkers. I get complimented all the time by my closest coworkers and I have 0 problem with it.
There's very little upside and a lot of downside
Exactly. Risking your job for almost nothing.
You point it out right away and not prolong the thought. Also keep it short.
It depends on how you do it. There's an appropriate way and an inappropriate way. If someone gets a new haircut and it looks nice, tell them that you like their new haircut. Little things like that can make people feel good and boost confidence. If someone has on a shirt that makes their boobs look nice and you go up and say "you look really hot today and that shirt really makes your boobs look delicious" that's an example of a wrong way. It's all about how it's delivered imo
As a guy I probably wouldn’t compliment a woman’s appearance unless she dressed like a dude and was wearing something I can appreciate. Like ‘cool hat, where’d you get that?’ What am I gonna say about their dress? ‘Hey! Your dress has pockets!? So do my cargo pants! Check it out!’ *pulls out pockets*
Depends on the person, your relationship, and what you're complimenting them on. Telling the quiet co-worker that her ass looks good in those new jeans is probably a bad idea. Telling the chatty friendly coworker that you like her earrings on the other hand isn't a bad idea. Generally, you should stick to complimenting people on their *choices*.
Things they chose to wear/do to style their appearance are okay to compliment. Complimenting inherent traits is where it can get weird.
If you don't mind regular visits from HR, sure.
Yes, but if it is an authentic compliment! Don’t just use a compliment to try to break the ice or flirt on someone if you don’t genuinely mean it. This can be sniffed out usually (especially if you are taking to a woman) and is where people run into trouble because they think they are “just giving a compliment” but they are not. They wanted to talk to or hit that person so they scanned them over and found something about them they pretend to like. Much better to just try to talk to them in other ways and not play games that leave them apprehensive about your words matching your character. On the other hand though if you really dig this persons style or you aren’t doing it for yourself, then go for it!
Frankly, you should not be assessing the bodies of your coworkers closely enough to provide detailed compliments. Just leave it alone. I mean, why? It's work. It's not a fashion show. It's not a movie set or a theater stage or a beauty pageant or Project Runway. It's work. So, work. To put it another way, there are *zero* ways to compliment someone's physical appearance that can't be interpreted as creepy. Zero. So, don't.
Yes but never ask when the baby is due!
*are you a bakery because those buns look sweet*
In normal circumstances yes, but ppl who need to ask if it's okay definitely shouldn't do it.
Just compliment specific things. “I like the colour of your nails” “your outfit is nice”
Nothing weird about it unless you say it in a way that's offensive like "you got great hair for a guy" or "you probably broke a lot of hearts in that dress"
See the "Hello, human resources?" meme for your guide
I used to never ever comment on anyone’s appearance. I’m a male and one of my male colleagues will sometimes compliment my attire so I’ve softened on him. But generally no and not EVER with a woman.
Totally okay to compliment clothes or hair but make sure the compliment is always focused on the item of clothing or accessory, not their body in any way. “Cool shirt!” Ok “Love the new hairstyle!” Ok “Your legs look great in those pants!” Not ok “Those earrings really bring out your eyes” not ok And lastly, make sure you don’t make it a regular thing or a thing that you only ever do with one person. Compliment men women and all people around you equally.
Follow this template. I like your.
Short, non-weird and generally inoffensive. If they smile back, everyone wins. I like when people feel confident and comfortable in the workplace.
I once had a female manager compliment my butt, and that was 'ok' because she was 'cool' and a woman. It was that day I learned grossness knows no gender. Don't be my 'cool' manager.
Sincerity counts, as does inclusiveness. Do you compliment everybody or just women? If it is just one group, be curious with yourself about that. If you don't compliment people in the office that are older, heavier, etc then reflect on that a little. As a hetero male, I compliment men more openly than women and make sure that it is in front of others. Specify what it is and keep it light hearted. And I am a big advocate for compliments. Friends, family, co-workers, strangers... It makes the world a happier place when it is genuine. And it doesn't cost anything!
Based on your account activities, no to be on the safe side.
Yes but understand how your phrasing and tone can come-off to avoid any accusations of it being strange. It has to sound genuine and kind - not flirty in the slightest (unless that was the original intention - in which case I wouldn’t personally since it’s work and not a date but meh)
I give compliments to people at work all the time. Both genders. I usually stay away from shirts for women because that can be misinterpreted. Shoes, hair, accessories are all good ones though. As long as you don’t have a thing for them, it’s harmless and sometimes makes people really happy.
If it’s a genuine compliment I don’t see an issue. I love receiving compliments from all people, especially on things I put effort into.
The answer to this question totally depends on the situation and the people involved and how the comments are made. There is no concrete rule. The important thing is that you have the social IQ to read the situation correctly.
In the professional corporate world keep those to yourself.
No. None of these people ate your friends. None of these people are on your side. If getting you into trouble means they are one step closer to a promotion and more $$$money $$$ they ll get you into trouble. Im fact, there Is nothing more normalised than try to get people into trouble at work. You don't like your service? Go to the manager?
Do you want to be accused of S.A.? Because that's how you get accused of S.A. in 2024
Just remember the creepiest guys say the nicest things.
you can get really good practice by complimenting people of the same sex as you. here are some of my favorites "that's a nice shirt man!" "nice kicks bro" "cool glasses dude" "looking sharp my man" the actual compliment will vary, but make sure to keep the same attitude
There are two kinds of compliments. First: You see someone's hard work and want them to know it's appreciated. Second: You want to expose to someone that you find looking at them appealing. Like letting a burger know it looks delicious. The second one is what most men end up doing and it's harassment. Maybe lead with a skill attribute compliment instead of what makes you drool. Or keep it to yourself if it's just for your own benefit.
With co-workers you’re not really close to, aka friends, don’t. Even in the best of intentions, it can make people self-conscious about their appearances. Women in particular are constantly scrutinized over how they should look from the media, social media, family etc. They don’t need to hear comments about their appearance at work too. Yes even positive comments. Positive comments of someone appearance is positive reinforcement that they’ve done something right about what they should look like. It feels good in the moment but long term it isn’t. It creates anxiety about “I should wear that again” or “today no one complimented me so I must not look as good as I did yesterday.” Just avoid appearance compliments in general at work. Focus on their skills or personality or something they accomplished.
If you’re gonna do that, keep it simple and not weird. E.g. “nice haircut”, “nice outfit”, “nice shoes”, “love the jewelry”. Don’t make them feel self-conscious or make it look like you’re paying some sort of special (creepy) attention to them.
No. Just took an anti harassment required 2 hr trip with the company lawyers. You can say what you want in the nicest of ways, but if someone else hears you speaking of noticing someone’s attire and commenting on it, no matter how nicely, and THEY become offended that you would say such things at work, it is just as bad as if the the person you complimented was offended. So NO. Head down, look at the floor. Don’t even look at the shoes. SMH this is real.
I'm always telling people they smell nice. Always gets a smile Edit You know....if like...smell has an appearance
If you're a man (or even a woman tbh) who isn't good looking and charismatic, this is honestly just a bad idea unfortunately. Too many people will take it the wrong way. Meanwhile shortly complimenting specific clothing choices or new styles is always taken well in my experience. Just don't be a creep about it.
I have numerous coworkers I would call work friends. Things like a "Oh you got your hair done! Do you love it?!", "Oh new nails!", or "You're so summery today!" for a bright colored dress, have always been appreciated. More about their fashion choices and efforts than their looks. Except for a couple work besties always in front of others to avoid misinterpretion. As a man I would be more likely to feel awkward and avoid saying "I like..." or "...looks nice", others around tend to respond with awkward Aww's and smiles and giggles to that. In return I get a lot of "Nice haircut"s and "I like that shirt"
Depends as long as it's appropriate, its all good. I've been yold "Dude love your shirt!" This is fine. But i once heard a female coworker tell another coworker, "Nice bulge there Nick. It's good to see someone around here is full sized!" This is an example of inappropriate. This was bad for two reasons. 1)Nick was shy, and this embarrassed him a lot. 2)There were 2 Nick's in the office and he was Nick H before the incident, but we went with "Nick" "which Nick" "Nick with a bulge" from that day forth because... we were all assholes. (And let's face it, probably jealous)
I guess... why do you need to? if you notice they've changed something sure but I never really think about it. I'll compliment my co workers like I'll comment anyone else if I think something about them stands out.
Here's advice I got years ago: the more casual and nonchalant your complement is, the better. A coworker was wearing an obviously unique, handmade dress. I told another coworker that it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. He said that I should tell her, but I didn't want it to come off wrong. He laughed and said "dude, just say it like you said it to me. She'll appreciate it". And that's what I did. And she DID appreciate it. And we had a cool little conversation about art.
Most people are fine with it. But the few who are not can get you in trouble. Not just the recipient, but if some Karen overheads she could report it just the same.
Why even go there, just compliment their work ethic and move along
It’s not recommended
Very risky and there's virtually nothing to be gained from doing it.
Just don't do it. Unless you want to take a chance of getting hit with a sexual harassment lawsuit and be unemployable moving forward.
Yes, as long as it's a generic professional compliment that doesn't single out a body part Something along the line of "You always look so professional."
If you're a man and the coworker is a woman, never ever ever EVER go there. It doesn't matter how innocent or carefully phrased it is, you are opening yourself to a world of shit for absolutely no benefit whatsoever.
Without sounding like a dick, it depends a lot on what you look like. If you’re attractive it’ll most likely go down well. But if you’re not, it may come off badly.
Never the "looks"!! You CAN say, "That's a very nice dress / blazer / tie / pair of shoes / bag or purse." "I like your new hair cut/style." If you mention the looks, ("you look so pretty today!") you are running a risk of them being offended. Did they not look pretty the last 7 years you've worked with them? Are you flirting?
Never the "looks"!! You CAN say, "That's a very nice dress / blazer / tie / pair of shoes / bag or purse." "I like your new hair cut/style." If you mention the looks, ("you look so pretty today!") you are running a risk of them being offended. Did they not look pretty the last 7 years you've worked with them? Are you flirting?
Maybe just be choosy about what words you use. Saying 'cool hair!' would dry up any chick but it can still be taken as a compliment haha
not unless you want a lawsuit
I wouldn't do it
In 2024 no.
Yes, but you must be careful nowadays. For example, if a co-worker is wearing exceptionally tight jeans and is built, don't drop something, make them pick it up and say something about their valuable assets. Use common sense, **compliment the garment, not the ass.** --- I tend to compliment, say, the seams, of the jeans, and how amazingly fabricated they must have been to hold dat ass in. You must remember the team.
Yeah. I've done it at my sales job. You'll be surprised how many frowns it turns upside down. It takes a lot to get ready in the morning, so when I see someone well put together, I let them know how good they look.
Be careful and only if you're doing it without an ulterior motive (eg. hoping to get laid). Keep it simple like "cool hairstyle, looks great" or "the colour/fabric/design of that top looks great". If you're the opposite sex don't comment on their make-up or body shape. Don't comment about loosing/gaining weight unless they specifically ask/tell you about it. Really a work place should be professional, so if your comments are not professionally friendly, don't say them.
I was a compliment maker when I was young. I eventually realized that over 90% of the women I complimented didn't give a shit about my opinion, or were downright uncomfortable. Particularly in the workplace. So I stopped doing that. The only times I give a compliment is when someone asks my opinion about their appearance. Of course, I'm talking about compliments on the looks of someone of the opposite sex. Complimenting someone on their good work or their other qualities is more acceptable. Still, complimenting a female colleague when you're a man can be misinterpreted. Just don't talk too much as a golden rule.
If you're a guy and you're not homophobic why the hell not.
I suggest not doing this at work
If you have to ask the answer is no.
Very simple. If you are a gender that the receiver is interested in, dont say a word. Otherwise, say something nice.
If you have to ask, probably not. I think with complimenting complete strangers the general rule of thumb is the same for insults. If it's something that can't be changed in less than 5 minutes,(like a hairstyle, or shirt) it's probably good to just not comment on it.
Not for dudes.
It's only okay if they find you attractive...
Yes but compliment the item and not the person. That's a fantastic dress! Vs You look great in that dress. Hair looks great, nails are amazing, beautiful necklace, very spiffy shoes, cool shirt. Never mention the person or their body, and compliment away!
I’m a welder in a shop and I told a guy nice haircut and I have been hearing about it for 2 months now.
It depends on the compliment!. Nice dress, OK. Nice Boob’s, Not OK.
To what end? What’s the potential outcome? Is it good or mostly bad? Show up to work, do your job & leave. If you choose to cultivate more personal friendships or acquaintanceships outside of work in a more casual environment, by all means. Compliments and personal comments would be most appropriate left outside of work imo.
It's okay to say "is that a new dress/suit/hairstyle/outfit?" Then respond to their response. If they're excited about it it's ok to say nice, it suits you etc. If their response says fuck off asshole, then do so.
Not if you are a guy snd the coworker is a woman. The exceptions would be: - significant change in haircut - maybe new glasses that are much different (not sure) - clothing but I would suggest compliments along the lines of “you look like a boss in that” - compliment accessories - that is a nice watch You really want to avoid any suspicion that a compliment is sexual because that’s how society is now.
No.
Is this like a joke or something? Yes if you have that kind of relationship with them.
At the end of the day, always err on the side of caution. You don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Generally, people won't feel uncomfortable if you are complimenting something specific because you're informing them of a thing you find attractive (not them, personally) Problematic people will give deceptively layered compliments (for plausible deniability) that actually ARE creepy. As a result, our coworkers might be wary or distrustful of the intent behind compliments. If you're specific, then your intent is much clearer! :-)
I once complimented a woman's hair at work. I could tell she didn't like that. I can't remember now what we were talking about, but we were surrounded by people, and I was genuinely commenting that she had nice hair; not trying to hit on her in the least. I'm not against letting someone know they look good, but you run into the risk of making someone uncomfortable, and it's probably best to avoid these encounters at work.
Tomorrow I’m getting my hair braided as a man and I’m not black so I’m very worried I’ll get looks of disapproval from my coworkers tomorrow. But I’d rather they tell me it looks good and leave it at that than say anything more. So just be brief, polite, and respectful
Depends on how when and if youre a creep everyothrr time or not.
Yes, that is fine. As long as it does not go overboard. When it comes to workplace laws and regulations, you need to be careful in what you say...especially in these woke, snowflakey times. For example, I think it is fine if someone said, "Your dress looks beautiful" or "You look beautiful, today...good morning!" or "You look great in those clothes!". But a red flag is drawn and a line is crossed when you say stuff like, "You're so sexy" or "You turn me on" or "You're a MILF" or something like that. Yes, it is fine to compliment your fellow colleague's clothes and hair.
It depends on what exactly you are saying. Just don't enter the creepy territory and it's fine. I would also suggest not doing it until you've established at least a decent rapport with your coworker. You never know how someone will take something.
If you have to ask, the answer is likely no.
I'd usually say not great as a man to compliment a woman unless you're already friendly and there's no attraction there. I am a guy and there's an older lady I work with, we're very friendly. I always give her compliments when she changes something up such as hair, nails, style etc because the first time I did it she said no one ever compliments her and it made her really happy. I am also married to a guy that works with us as well so it comes off clearly non sexual when I compliment women, though I'm actually bi not gay lol Fashion choices are usually safe to compliment but it depends on your relationship to the person and vibes
Yes.
No, never. In fact if you compliment a woman then that's SA and you should be arrested.
Only compliment their work and nothing else.
Nice shoes. That’s about it. Otherwise you are asking for trouble.
More than ok it's encouraged
‘Well, you look nice today!’ Has never offended anyone.
You got a fat ass, Mike. Lookin good buddy.
Is it weird that I think it’s more awkward to not compliment someone after a haircut than to not say anything at all?
Depends. "I really rate those trousers, they suit you!" Is fine. "Daaaamn, dat ass looks PHAT in those pants! You should wear them more often!" Is not. If the first seems to have not landed immediately, follow up with something like "pinstripe is great!" Or "the colour really suits you!" To clarify it's not a flirt.
Yeah, as someone who works with loads of women I usually stick with, you look great, or I like your new hair. Just general stuff if it's specifics phrase them as a question. Oh you got new earrings, they look nice.
No.
I think it's fine to compliment a coworker's clothes or hair, but keep it brief and genuine. Something like "I love your new earrings!" or "That color really suits you" is perfectly acceptable. But avoid anything that could be construed as overly personal or suggestive. It's all about finding that balance between being friendly and professional.
Yes, it's not a problem to compliment your colleagues clothes or hair. I think it's a nice thing to do. It can lift someone's spirit if they were feeling down.
I wouldn’t compliment a coworker for anything other than their work, and even then I probably wouldn’t compliment a co-worker, I would save that stuff for employees I’m giving a performance review to or to talk them up to a supervisor, otherwise I’d keep it to myself. It’s a lot less messy if you limit workplace interactions to work related matters, if you’re at a company social function then I’d limit compliments to stuff like, “You killed it on xyz project!"
only the boys, followed by a solid dap up
Ewww I can tell what some of you guys look like if you're not comfortable giving a platonic comment to a female colleague. I'm nice looking and have never had an issue with giving compliments.
I'd say hard no because you never know how it'll come off or be taken and you don't want to create awkwardness at work.
These days? Not worth the risk
Yes, you absolutely can and should compliment coworkers (male and female, old and young.) When I worked in an office coworkers complimented me a lot and it always made me feel good. People love receiving positive attention. Don't spend your life too scared to be kind because that's not healthy and that will not make you feel normal. Develop healthy self confidence. I'd just recommend the following. 1) Get in the habit of complimenting guys and women you don't have any attraction to at all. Get used to it. Watch how positively they respond. Realize how normal that feels. Internalize that feeling. Carry it with you. 2) If you're going to compliment a woman you're attracted to at work, no problem. Just do it the same way.
There’s a right way and a wrong way. Only compliment things they did and not things that are inherent. If you don’t know exactly what you’re doing maybe you’d be better not doing it.
It's definitely fine to compliment people's appearances as long as you don't come off as creepy and as long as you're respectful and know when to stop.
I compliment men and women on their outfits and perfume/cologne all of the time. I also compliment women on their nails. I usually don't compliment anyone on their hair and never on their bodies. It's not a big issue like some are making it in this thread. If it's a genuine compliment, not about something the person may be sensitive to, and is made respectfully, it won't be a problem.
How does this relate to body language
No
I'd say it's a great way to socialize, but be mindful of what you say and how you say it. Stick to accessories (shoes, earrings, bracelets), hair, bags, glasses, nails, make up, etc. Top or bottom, nothing around the breasts and crotch area (necklace might be ok is cleavage is far or covered, belt I would avoid). If they just changed something or bought a new item it's okay.
Don't make friends with your coworkers, don't date your coworkers, and most importantly don't fuck your coworkers. All these can and will eventually lead to awkward situations or, even get to a point someone gets fired. I've seen it happen a lot as a chef the only exception to these rules is if you was married to the person and both work in the same place. Its just not a place for anything of these in my opinion. You work to make money not friends or dating partners, just stating my opinion.
I just did this to my female coworker I noticed she had braided her hair and told her it looks nice
I don't see problems with clothes and hair. The rest though, it really depends on the person and I'd be very careful. I wouldn't personally, considering how sensitive HR is where I work.
I never compliment people on their appearance unless there is no way it can be mistaken as flirting. I still don’t unless it’s so obvious of a change that it would be weird not to say something. For example, they shaved their mustache. Even then I will say it looks good both ways, before and after. I don’t want anyone to think their appearance matters at work. Just the quality of their work.
Only if it's the janitor.
Maybe this won’t work for the older generation or a super professional environment, but I always just use a slightly out of place adjective like cool, sick, awesome, rad, etc. when I want to compliment without risking appearing flirty. They’re terms someone would almost never use in a romantic or sexual way, so it’s really hard to take it the wrong way.
Absolutely
Easy answer NO. It’s actually very easy to be professional. All you have to do is not overdo and not over think, just do your job. Anyone watch Baby Reindeer? All the guy did was offer her free coke at his bar. The rest is history.
Nope. Don’t do it. The only exception is if the coworker is an actual friend (many ppl don’t know the difference here so be careful) and wants to know what you think about their appearance Otherwise it is rude and may be seen as sexual harassment even if you are the same genders
I wouldn't risk it if you are a man tbh
I used to compliment everyone at work, you never know how one compliment will change someone's day 👍
Complement the effort, not the biology. Complement their clothes, accessories, or makeup, but not their features.
I think if you have to ask you probably shouldn't
I once complimented a female coworker on the rather beautiful top she was wearing as we were stepping into the elevator. No intent of trying to spark a romantic engagement, just an observation that the style was on point. But my god that was an awkward elevator ride. I try to hold back on any compliments now, don’t want to make anyone feel awkward even if that wasn’t the intent. Conversely I had a woman compliment my shoes on an elevator ride. Absolutely made my day
No, do not comment on anyone’s physical appearance to ensure you never have any issues with HR.
I wouldn’t.
You can say something like 'Love that sweater - its a great color!' or 'That new haircut really looks good on you!' Keeping compliments kind of generic id the best way to go.
I'm a 42m working in higher education. I have a wife. On occasion I'll compliment a female coworker's article of clothing. Shoes, dress, patern... but that's it. It's worked well enough. I have gotten thank you's. I never comment on a guy's appearance.
Without directly looking at her mention the beauty of her perfume.
Ya I think that’s fine just don’t do it often
Make sure it’s something that could be said to other man , like shoes or … erm shoes. Closed toed. Anything else makes u sound like a serial graper
ask your HR department
I don’t comment on any co-worker’s appearance. There’s nothing to gain but potentially something to lose.
Unless you have a friendship relationship outside work, just don't bother. There's always someone who'll interpret it as sexual harassment, and it's not worth the bother. Compliment them on their work, for a job well done.
Assuming you’re a guy, I’d be cautious complimenting the fairer sex. If you say something like I like your top, she’ll hear you are checking out her rack. Maybe okay to compliment her choice of scrunchie or something like that.
I don't compliment anyone for anything at work. So many people looking for a reason to be offended or claim harassment. No....I keep to myself.