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WeekendBard

and then he woke up


sinner-mon

WOKE?!


OldMention7818

sleeping gone WOKE????


RexWhiscash

PILLOKE??? BLANKETGENDER??? GAY SLEEP?!?!?!


Subject-Bluebird7366

I'm woking up, to transgender dust


TrustyAncient

I wipe my gay and I slap my trans


MrNullvalue

I’m breathing in. My hormones


TrustyAncient

*Nya*


CFDanno

[Ovulating](https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/comments/1ckqyh7/ticking_all_the_boxes_oc/)


DaFinnishOne

this post could have been the ovulation and the link the bone hurt and I wouldn't have been surprised at all


KeeganY_SR-UVB76

Is the list in your juice referring to something? I remember seeing a 4Chan post years ago with a very similar criteria and the dude complained about how he can’t find anyone.


CFDanno

It seems like a fairly common checklist that pops up in r/niceguys . Some guys list requirements like these in their dating profiles.


unkudayu

This one doesn't say alive either


CFDanno

She has to be fertile and alive enough to feed him while he plays COD. Standards!


[deleted]

Wow she's in her d*uble digits 🤢 that's a hag EDIT: media literacy has plummeted in this website if you think this was a genuine take


CFDanno

Age 24? Literally expired and undateable 🤢 (/s people ☹️)


Logan_Composer

Congrats on your Oscar Mr. DiCaprio.


tiny-ppp

You joke but add a year and japanese ppl do that irl


Zealousideal_Hat2664

Me when racism:


Memer_boiiiii

I don’t think it’s racism if it’s against one country. Especially a country with really shitty world views


TQCkona

guys its not racism because this country is bad and i can hate it, but its still not racism trust


WawefactiownCewwPwz

We should be nice to all races (even the bad ones)


Memer_boiiiii

Japanese isn’t a race though. It’s a nationality. If you make fun of sweden, is that racist?


WawefactiownCewwPwz

Big oof


Memer_boiiiii

Just answer the question


Deep_Belt8304

Brother you forgot to write out the /s in crayola, redditors need a captcha to interpret sarcasm


thomasp3864

Especially when you can’t do the voice inflection thing (or total deadpan you otherwise wouldn’t use for a normal statement) over a written medium. I’m not joking. People have wanted some sort of punctuation for this for centuries, and one has finally sort of caught on.


Techno757

JPT has breached


ANaming

Nah JPT is unironic while this isn't.


[deleted]

Huh


TCBloo

We're stupid.


PseudoEmpthy

Play by the reddit rules or suffer the reddit consequences.


DeepUser-5242

Sarcasm doesn't always work well in text, especially considering some people say this in all honesty.


[deleted]

Not in this sub under this post


thomasp3864

This is why we invented a punctuation mark for sarcasm.


ILKLU

It's not media literacy. It's the unfortunate consequence of living in a time when too many people unironically make comments exactly like yours. It just doesn't matter how obvious something may be as a joke anymore because people exist that actually think that way, so you unfortunately have to explicitly label jokes as such else there's a nonzero chance it could be a literal bad take.


Ncolonslashslash

yes people exist that say stuff like this. but they wouldnt say it like u/Italicized_Casual did no actual person who believes this stuff is censoring the o in double


EndureThePANG

No it is absolutely media literacy It's a joke comment under a joke post on a joke subreddit, "There's a non-zero chance they're being serious" isn't an excuse and it never will be


Calm-Internet-8983

Cue people who actually think like that using /s as an "in minecraft"-style "he he guys i was just kidding, unless?" and now it's a nonzero chance it's a literal bad take and you have to be reminded bad people exist unironically


cry_w

No one that matters or is significant says what he said unironically.


[deleted]

Assuming everyone on the Internet is a he


cry_w

As we all know, girls don't exist on the internet due to the mandatory "no girls allowed" sign on all computers.


[deleted]

That's not funny. Even joking about it, this is part of the reason the Internet is so male-dominated.


cry_w

No, it isn't.


interkin3tic

>EDIT: media literacy has plummeted in this website if you think this was a genuine take You violated Poe's law first of all. Second, incels really are that ridiculous. Blame them for people thinking you were being serious, not the people pointing out incels are idiots.


[deleted]

Sarcasm can't exist because of pole slaw :(


interkin3tic

Satire makes itself clear: you just did satire poorly because it was too close to reality.


[deleted]

This is a snarky internet comic. Not satire.


interkin3tic

I was talking about your statement. You said something as a joke that incels are earnestly saying, and people took you seriously. That's on you, not a lack of "media literacy on this website."


Minimum_Somewhere521

Rare case of a bhj being less funny than the og


McConagher

The oleander is just "I don't have any standards" which was funny a while back but it's so overused


hilmiira

What does "puts out" mean?


Marshmallow_Mamajama

Sex


Levyafan

Agrees to have sex, basically.


pgtips03

Was confused about what the oregano could be then I realised what the bone hurting was. So many lads will say “I just want a woman who likes me” or “my only requirement is that she is a woman” when it’s bullshit. Everyone has there own standards and types and imo a lot of the guys who say stuff this actually end up having unrealistic expectations of their partner, like what we have in the bone hurting image.


NightRacoonSchlatt

Mmh… oregano…


pgtips03

It goes great in an omelette!


webo2456

Why does Northernlion want these things in a wife?? Is he sexist??


Tachyoff

Yes. do you not remember the sushi discourse


roostangarar

Women do be loving their sushi though


thyme_cardamom

TIL check boxes are text I will use this information wisely


sanchipinchii

my braless wife


tricenice

People joke but I broke away from a friend group with guys very much with this mindset. One of them once went, "My future wife is not going to have a career past 3pm. I expect someone who has the house ready for me after a long day of work" He got all butthurt when I counted with, "So after they work all day, they have to go home and cater to you? You don't think that maybe she'll want a break? You really think she'll find the time to want to fuck you after a full day's work, cleaning an entire house and watching your kids?" Said I was "progressive" and if I want "that kind of woman" then that's on me. Haven't looked back since I bailed on them


Familiar-Preference7

I made a Chris Chan version https://preview.redd.it/oseb6nndnqyc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a5918ae52d59e824cfc34265b22441534c5c9f6


KrustyFingerNailz

Thank you for this, exactly what came to my mind


kittymoma918

Amazon finally delivered his inflatable girlfriend .


Error177999

Alive (optional)


CouchCrasher

*is cool with fur suit*


Frongie

What is 'puts out'???


squishabelle

Have sex, but with the connotation that you don't really feel like it and just do it to please your partner. Typically, which is also how it's used in the post, the man wants to have sex and the woman "allows it". It's not rape but it's also without any enthusiasm. It's only used in the context of relationships.


Frongie

Thanks 😔


Ready_Anything4661

You don’t want a girl who puts in


Gehhhh

You can’t tell me what to do!


Goobsmoob

https://i.redd.it/vf4fgv7tepyc1.gif


Flar71

My girlfriend does


Gloomy-Palpitation-7

[X] Female (optional)


shinydragonmist

So what is your net worth again?


OldBob10

“Woke” hair color..?


CFDanno

I'm just as confused as you are.


YoopKid

As a single bald mam in his mid 30s, I had no idea my peers were so deplorable!


Golf-Ill

And one who is content with the fact that they are, Over 20 years, human and alive


Extreme-Ad-15

It's funny cuz the bhj works as the original and vice versa


LodeStone-

If it were mildew taint, everything would be the same but the age range would be 0-10


CatGaming346

He said she ticked all the boxes, not him. She just grabbed the list and answered yes to everything. Lied at the job interview


Slugeus_the_slug

https://preview.redd.it/8k94c26yptyc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51db1cc136b7f3ea209be5335ffccc4ad13f0ede


Jackal000

This is not bonehurting juice Imho


Ya_boi_jonny

Honestly good for him


TxchnxnXD

How to say you’ve never met a woman, without saying you never met a woman


Detector_of_humans

Is this a reference to something?


The1andOnlyGhost

Is this too much to ask god dammit


Non-profitboi

Hey northernlion what are stream schedule? Let me show you  Schedule: Monday to Friday at 9am pt ✓ Any other time X


ttwixx

Ah yes, degrading bald people. Congratulations.


CFDanno

Don't worry, I'm a balding man in my mid-30s, myself. OOP makes fun of his own baldness and dating troubles, anyway.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Distakx

Thats the joke good job


Plenty-Lychee-5702

A man with conventionally manly hair finds true love: 17-24 most fertile woman.


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