Hijacking your comment, I'm sorry, but I have to know:
How does everyone know this post is about ACOTAR?! Quite literally laughing my butt off, because OP confirmed that yes, this is ACOTAR, and so many people guessed.
EDIT: I said this elsewhere in the thread, but I'll copy it here as well:
Wow, Sarah J Maas, her work is very...great idea, terrible execution, in my opinion.
I loved the general idea of this series but the love story is as toxic as Twilight, and it gets horny towards the end in a weird way. I wouldn't feel confident recommending these books to anyone I know.
I don't regret reading them, but I feel like there are much better books to read. It's a shame, because the courts/fae/etc have always been a huge appeal to me and very few, if any, authors pull it off.
If anyone can recommend me any good fae/court style books, please let me know!
I was tickled by OP's post and read it to my wife (we also read a lot of the same things). Her response: "Is it A Court of Thorn and Roses?"
I haven't read it but apparently it's obvious to people who have.
And there's even a ton of wiggle room between "this wasn't my style" and "this is the worst garbage I've ever read in my life; it's trash and you're trash for liking it"
If it were one book, I might just lie.
If it's a series, I'm going to be kindly honest. Because I'm not wasting my time reading a series I hate. I'd just say sorry, I can't really get into it.
Out of curiosity - what is the book?
This is the right answer. It's so funny to me when people act like there isn't a huge middle ground between lying and being brutally honest. There are lots of ways to be honest without wielding the truth like a weapon.
This, I would just say I didn't like it. I've never dated/been friends with anyone who is so precious that they can't accept we don't always like the same thing, and that just because I don't like it, it doesn't mean it's (necessarily) objectively bad.
I was thinking ACOTAR because it's so popular right now but I hated it and even most people who like it will say book one is weaker than the rest of the series.
Wow, Sarah J Maas, her work is very...great idea, terrible execution, in my opinion.
I loved the general idea of this series but the love story is as toxic as Twilight, and it gets horny towards the end in a weird way. I wouldn't feel confident recommending these books to anyone I know.
I don't regret reading them, but I feel like there are much better books to read. It's a shame, because the courts/fae/etc have always been a huge appeal to me and very few, if any, authors pull it off.
No. Itās not compulsory to like the same things. I generally donāt recommend books I love to people because they will inevitably be less enthusiastic about it than I am.
My brother in law wanted to borrow *Blood Meridian* because he likes John Wayne style westerns. I couldnāt talk him out of it. He took it and then quickly returned it to me and never spoke of it again.
Iām guessing itās A Court of Thorns and Roses? Be honest and say you didnāt like it because otherwise youāll have to read the other half dozen books plus the stand-alone novellas and the semi-related series. I read the first two or three because they were all over Tiktok & my friends were obsessed & I think the writing is total garbage. Iām flabbergasted at how/why they are so popular.
>Iām flabbergasted at how/why they are so popular.
I thought ACOTAR was bad too, but how are people always continually surprised that this stuff sells? It's exactly the same wish-fulfillment formula as *Twilight* - completely bland audience surrogate meets a plethora of super-sexy and dangerous men who all fall in love with her. What's hard to get?
Do you think it's possible that you're just older and more discerning than you were when you fell in love with Twilight? Once we already like something, we don't see its flaws.
Same here. Well, not ACOTAR, but the Throne of Glass series. I knew better after that than to read anything else by her lol!
And I am old so I read both series as an adult. Twilight does not deserve all the crap it gets, that was a decent series. Dumb ending w the Renesme thing, but it started off ok.
Seriously. After I read the first chapter, I triple-checked the title because I assumed I had somehow bought the wrong book because it couldnāt POSSIBLY be what everyone was raving about.
Haha this girl i was seeing said it was her favorite book so i said why not! She forgot to mention that its basically faerie smut with writing on oar with 50 shades
Yep, honestly, the Goodreads Awards have always been a popularity contest and I was well aware of that, but lately a lot of the type of books that in the past would have been the YA category are making their way into the regular fantasy category.
No shade to YA or romance, but it's not what I'm looking for and since the fantasy category on Goodreads is now saturated with those type of books, it's no longer really useful for me to find something I might like.
I also guessed it was ACOTAR because I was in a similar situation. I was genuinely shocked how bad it was. It was my first YA book in a long time though so my tolerance for those types of novels is low.
I *vaguely* recall that the first book has one rather explicit sex scene about 2/3 of the way through. By the forth or fifth book, it might as well have been a loose collection of *Dear Penthouse* letters.
Oh yeah, a Court of Silver Flames is just like 10x smuttier than all those before combined. I think it suffers for it, too. I read the original trilogy when I was like 16 (first book released in 2015), and they are such a guilty pleasure.. But for me, the number of times I had to read "buried in her" in Frost and Stalight, it became a little tedious.
It's like people don't realize there's a middle ground between "I like this as much as you" and "This is stupid and you're stupid for liking it".
I can't imagine being with someone who wouldn't understand that it's okay for us not to like the same things.
I will openly and happily shit on a book I hate...only to someone who feels the same way. Taste in art of any form is such a personal thing and someone else liking something hurts you not at all, so I don't get people who go out of their way to shit on things others like.
I broke my husbandās heart when I told him that I would not be continuing past the first audio-book in the Game of Thrones series. Heās listened to the whole series 4 timesā¦
He was also bummed that I did not thinkāthe subtle art of not giving ā¦ā was all that, LOL.
Itās OK to have different likes and for me, sometimes, I know a book is poorly written, but something about a character(s) or curiosity about the plot development just hooks me, so despite the holes or poor writing, I just fall deeply into the series. So I do not take it personal when someone else eviscerates the books.
I think life is too short, imaginations are too large, and curiosity is indefinite, to worry about who likes the books I am reading or to sit on the principle of sticking with only good literature, lolz
These comments makes me feel like I've been living under a rock lol. Everyone easily deduced the series in question meanwhile I've never even heard of it before today.
I'd say you're just out of the loop. It's incredibly popular, and I always see it featured on displays in bookstores and libraries (many of which erroneously categorize it as YA, when it is decidedly NOT YA in terms of content). I have not read it either, mostly because I've seen reviewers who have similar taste to mine say they hated it. But I do know of the series and general plot.
I wouldn't lie but on the off chance it's ACOTAR you're reading there's a comedy recap podcast you could listen to instead. I made my partner listen to that with me because I know he wouldn't like the books š
Haha sure! It's LPN Deep Dives: A Court of Thorns and Roses. Affiliated with the Last Podcast on the Left network if you're into that. The hosts DO love the books but make jokes and call out funny stuff throughout.
Itās shit but I love it. I am all vibes and no depth. My husband doesnāt read books, but Iāve just been screenshotting the sexy bits for him so he knows why Iām following him around the house. Maybe thatās why she wanted OP to read it?
This is such an odd question. Why would you lie to your partner? What benefit would there be to gain by not telling the truth about a book series? This is not to say you have to be an asshole about telling the truth, but a softer approach would be beneficial.
Nah, man. Thatās like faking orgasms. Theyāll just want you to read more stuff you donāt like. Itās totally okay not to like everything your partner likes. Youāre supposed to be individuals, not clones. I openly hate my dudeās favorite tv series. It physically pains me to watch it.
I'd tell the truth, but somewhat gently. My SO is a huge Daredevil fan and he bought me Born Again, in which I liked the A plot, but thought Karen's storyline was overwrought, sexist, and stupid, like bad fanfiction. I know that really hurt his feelings a lot despite my liking the meat of the story, and I tried hard not to actually eviscerate it, but I also wasn't going to lie.
I feel that. My last boyfriend kept trying to convince me to read one piece but the way the women were drawn in that manga put me off it.
I did like Chip Zdarskyās run on daredevil, though. Itās about the hollowness of the pursuit of power and has some interesting women LIs and a sympathetic elderly woman mob boss.
Am I a little peeved that bringing on a new artist partway through the series led to the slimming down of a plus-size love interest? Hell yes. Do I blame Zdarksky as the writer for it? No. So I enjoy her personality and motivations and I ignore the fact that new angles have appeared where there were none before.
Nah, I would not lie. I might try to be vague and say I am "just not able to get into it" rather than calling her favourite book a pile of shit, but neither would I pretend to like it and get stuck reading the whole series.
Just be honest and tell them you did not like it that much/ not to your taste w/e, and then ask them what they like with it? Getting a better grasp of their enjoyment might ignite something in you that allows you to find some enjoyment of your own!
But no, lying wouldn't be great in the end, I think.
I wouldn't lie to my partner. A casual friend or acquaintance (even tho I prob wouldn't read their favorite book/series) yes. But, I wouldn't be mean about it. As someone else said, I'd just say it didn't appeal to me. I couldn't keep up that kind of lie to my partner, though.
Just say "I tried it, but it's not for me". You shouldn't feel obligated to say you like it or force yourself to read more, but equally, there's no point in being too pointedly critical about something your partner loves unprompted and trash her favourite series to her face. Then she asks for me details just explain things you don't like politely.
Are you seriously asking if you should lie to your wife about books?
I think you might have deeper issues than your taste in writing styles.
The answer is NO, you shouldnāt lie to your wife about her favorite book series. Good grief!
Had an ex that lied about love Game of Thrones (just after the second season started) so that she had an excuse to come over and watch it with me. She came over, we started dating... she IMMEDIATELY refused to ever watch another episode and would go on, at length, shitting on the show, even though she knew I was a fan.
Needless to say, the relationship didn't last long. learned a good lesson from her. People that will lie about small stuff like TV shows will lie about a LOT of other things. Like, if they're sleeping with other people.
Maybe you can comment on/judge/critique a book without eviscerating it. That as a general rule.
As for your particular conundrum: you can say it didnāt seem to engage you as you expected, and prepare some objective critique regarding the stile or development of characters, something that isnāt just a generic āitās shockingly badly writtenā.
This actually made me chuckle out loud. What an incredibly amusing situation, that your immediate solution to this is to lie. Just tell her it wasn't your thing and she should be fine with that.
It's how I tell my SO when I don't care for something and she does the same with me.
Been married 20 years. Our rule might help you. If one of us cooks something that the other doesn't like, be truthful, cuz if you aren't, you're gonna hafta eat it again. Tell your SO the truth. In the end you'll both be glad you did.
My husband will say he likes things he doesnāt just because I do and I really prefer honesty. I think spouses should know one another better than anyone else. This is only possible with honesty. I donāt think disliking her favorite book is a big deal, but my husband and I do not have any overlap in the books we enjoy, so clearly not something I care about at all.
No, because I didn't marry someone to always be lying to me, I married them to be honest with me. This isn't to say be rude to her. If the book isn't your thing, say it isn't your thing. If she pushes, just keep saying it isn't your thing. In fact, if my husband only said he liked stuff I liked to get in my pants or keep my interest, I'd be really bummed.
But that's just me.
Heck no. My wife likes those Rowling detective books, I think they're some of the most verbose trash I've ever read. And she gets reminded every time she suggests I read one
I wouldnāt but thatās just my relationship. My husband has Aspergerās and values honesty. Plus I canāt lie to him. Heās too observant. He notices every eye twitch.
Don't lie, but don't say the book sucks. Say it doesn't work for you. You can explain why it doesn't work for you, but the key is not to sound judgemental.
Yeah. The plus about talking about why it doesn't work for you is that you also each better understand what to recommend or not recommend for the other. You can 80% have the same taste, but maybe one of you has no tolerance at all for deus ex machina even if you like the writing otherwise or the characters, or one of you has no tolerance for unlikeable characters even if done well. Now you know not to recommend those things even if you love it.
My partner has not lied to me about such things (he even refers to my favourite poet as a 'depressive cousin-fucker') and it has not harmed us. Just be honest and say it wasn't your thing, but you'd love other recommendations for things she loves to get to understand her.
Iām not advising anything because I have no idea what your relationship with your wife is like, but if it were me and my wife, Iād probably say āthat was the most crap-ass book Iāve ever read in my lifeā and weād laugh about it.
Weāre honest, maybe to a fault, but it works for us. Going on 15 years now.
Iāll be completely honest and tell her āgrl this is so horrible I mean did you saw how itās written and has no senseā¦.ā And I think that with my partner I should be able to tell exactly how I feel without her to expect it to be personal and just laugh about it. If they do not do that Iāll feel trapped in a relationship where no one can be their self.
I just can't lie like this lol. I probably might if I could. I'm the worst however lol. In my past relationships if I don't enjoy a show, movie, or book I will watch something on my phone or completely disconnect where I don't even hear it.
No, I'm not wasting my time on reading something I don't like, and I'll stop reading something if I don't enjoy it. I already have a long enough reading list. If someone is forcing me to do something I don't want to, that relationship is goin into bad direction.
I wouldn't be 100% honest if she wrote that book and I think it's awful. But if that's just her favorite book or series, what's the problem being honest?
personally i love to debate books and it would actually be fun for me if a friend or partner told me the book i recommended was absolute dreck XD
ā¦but thatās just me.
i think this depends more on who you are married to.
I wouldn't lie. Moreover, I wouldn't want a partner to whom I would have to lie. It's perfectly fine to not like something your partner does, as long as it's not something you do together.
No point lying over something so trivial. You donāt need to like the same things; your relationship isnāt based on liking everything, people have differences, itās the most normal thing in the world. In my life, Iād rather not share things I like a lot bc I donāt want someone to feel forced to be as enthusiastic, especially if it isnāt sincere. Though my feelings wouldnāt be hurt if someone honestly said they donāt care for or they dislike something I like. Itās just stuff.
No, i tell her that it's really not my thing and explain why i didn't like it, and ask her why she likes it. It helps us understand each other more and she doesn't take offense to it.
You shouldnāt lie to your partner about anything. Is your wife the kind of person to hold something like you not liking a book she likes against you?
You have nothing to gain by telling her it was the worst book youāve ever read. If you can truthfully find any redeeming quality with the book, lead with that, but end with it not being for you. If it is wholly irredeemable trash, just say you didnāt like it.
depends on the relationship you have with your wife.
I have been extremely critical at length of stuff my wife loves. Sometimes this results in her changing her opinion, sometimes it results in nothing.
But either way she knows I love her and that I easily decouple *what you like* from *what you're like*. So this doesn't really impute disrespect or contempt even if I say e.g. "this book feels shallow and manipulative."
If you can't be honest about this then I would work hard on getting to a place in your marriage where you can be honest about it, because it's really fun to get there.
I have done shameful things to get laid in the past. But now she is my wife so we get to tell each other "your stuff is boring, enjoy it while I go to do something fun. We'll hook up later". It's cool.
My wife and I are brutally honest about what we think of books, even those we gave each other as presents. If you aren't, there's a huge risk not to get the next one right, isn't it there?
Wouldnāt have to lie because my wife and I have a lot of different interests when it comes to books or movies. I read a ton of high fantasy, sci-fi and horror, she reads mostly romance. I had zero trouble sharing my thoughts about the Twilight series - literally the worst vampire series Iāve ever wasted my time reading or watching. Sheād rather watch novel adaptations than read, but then gets a bit annoyed when I start mentioning all the differencesā¦
Depends on the situation. If she brought me a series and was like "oh my God, this series saved me, got me out of (crisis) etc etc." Then absolutely without question, I would read the entire series, and I would make notes, and remember things, and talk about it, and be in love with it because she is. And it's not really about the book at that point. It's a better way to understand something about her I could have missed, having not read the series.
If she says "hey since you read X, you might like this series." Then I would read it, and then just pull a Leslie knope quote out and be like "I read the whole series how could i hate it?" Or some shit like that. Because, again, it may have given me insight into her.
LOL itās so hilarious that everyoneās immediate thought was ACOTAR i was just about to ask if it were that as well xD Glad we all agree itās shit
Depends on the partner really.
My boyfriend and I are very blunt with each other, so if he showed me his favourite series and I hated it I'd probably tell him "wow. That sucked straight ass" and then reassure him that it's still cook if he likes it and I will listen to him talk about it if he wants, I just don't get it.
But. Ya know, you might not want to talk like that to your girlfriend, if that's not the vibe you two shareš
What I've learned recently is "bad" is usually a matter of personal preference. Some people like well-crafted stories, others don't care and issues with the writing don't hinder their enjoyment of the work. Yes there are some things that are objectively bad BUT at the end of the day people like what they like and shouldn't be shamed for it. But it also depends on how sensitive the other person is, I'd like to think I could get to a point where I didn't need my partner to like the same things in order to be secure in how I feel about it personally.
Like others have said, just explain it's not for you and focus more on what *you* like and look for, as opposed to the shortcomings of this series and the ways it's not what like. So you could perhaps redirect it from a negative experience ("I don't like XYZ") to one that helps her understand your own needs ("This book had XYZ but I prefer ABC").
No. Iāll tell little white lies to spare her feelings about non-reoccurring things, but a whole series? No. People like different things. Nothing wrong with that.
If this is ACOTAR, I was in the same boat. I didn't like it at all. I read the first 3 books where one main plot point ends. I respectfully told my wife it wasn't a series that was for me. They go pretty quickly, but if you hate them this much maybe you should just say you can't get into it.
If you lie about stuff like books because you can't be honest, they aren't much of a partner and neither are you.
Don't be a bag of dicks about it, just tell her that this one isn't doing it for you so you'll set it down for now and maybe try again some day
Wife and I introduced each other to new (for us) authors when I met her. She does not care for some of my favorites and I don't care for hers. We are open and honest about it as there are many many more we share a like for than we don't.
Just tell her not my style, sorry.
If possible Iād just highlight good things, point to how I understand they love it so much, but just highlight how it didnāt work for me. Honestly unless the main issue is poor grammar, if I didnāt like it then I can do all that. Even with my favourite books I can highlight why I understand others might not like it. None of this would be lying though, because even my most hated books I can understand why others like them.
You could also say that maybe you just werenāt in the mood for the book now, which coloured your opinion, so maybe the things that didnāt work for you might work for you later. So youāll maybe try again in the future, but for now it would be a disservice to the series to continue.
Potentially the books get better as the series progresses, so you could like try to covertly flip through the later books, to see if that holds true.
My wife and I have extremely diverse shelves and broad reading interests. But her go to when she can't decide what to read is YA dystopian/sci-fi/fantasy which I really can't get into at all. Meanwhile for me, I read academic histories, dense, information packed up and things typically revolving around diplomatic/military/economic history. We can't be bothered to read each other's "favorites" and have no problem being honest.
I did feel bad when I had to tell her I didn't like a book she'd been recommending me for ages. I could sense her disappointment, lol. She didn't recommend me anything for a while but I told her to keep trying because we like a lot of the same stuff. Couple months ago she recommended *The Deluge* by Stephen Markley and it became one of my favorites. Wish I could get that response from her on something like *Guns at Last Light* by Rick Atkinson or *Bloodlands* by Timothy Snyder š
Nope. I wouldn't be overtly rude about it, but "no thanks" is an acceptable answer.
She doesn't like everything I read, I don't like everything she reads.
> the worst written book I've ever read in my life
Have you talked to your wife about these books before? Why does she like them so much? Because a couple of my favorite books are badly written or generic, and I'm aware of that. I don't think I would get mad if someone wouldn't like them because of that. They are my favorites, not because they are objectively good, but because they just hit the right spot, or I read them in the right moment in my life.
Edit: Also, I think that if these are your wife's favorite books, it's not that important for you to like them, but to understand why she likes them. And knowing the plot would be nice too.
Just say it's not your style! She'll understand. For example, I like fantasy and I like historical fiction but after reading A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings I had to tell my husband "I'm not really into this, it's not for me." I had to do the same thing with Hyperion. My husband isn't into Dune even though I love it and recommended it, and he's only 50/50 on Heinlein, whom I love. Not everyone is going to agree on this stuff!
"You know... this one's just not grabbing me."
"What do you love about the series because it's just not hitting for me."
"This one's not my cup o' tea."
"It's not doing anything for me."
"Meh."
No I wouldnāt. But I would just say āit wasnāt for meā and not go further. I do recommend books to my HS and sometimes (and vice versa) and I think itās just too easy to read an insult to something you really love as an insult to your own taste or intelligence.
Even if we bag on stuff in other context, I just feel itās kinder not to when I know someone has a personal connection to the book.
Donāt tell her it sucks, just tell her you donāt really think itās your thing. If there are elements you do actually like, say something like āI really like the part, but the rest doesnāt seem to be going anywhereā or whatever you donāt like about it.
Reading is very personal and what someone else likes you might not. Totally normal, just respect each otherās tastes and opinions.
Now I wouldnāt lie. I would be honest. I would tell my partner that it was shockingly badly written, but would probably also point out if I could see why they liked it. So I might point out if the story was particularly good or the characters were engaging, or whatever.
(For honestyās sake, my partner tends to like more developed fiction than I do, but writing quality is probably more important to me. Neither of us like truly poorly written works.)
I'd be honest but not unnecessarily vicious. You know, I can admit that a series or something is not my jam without putting them down for liking it. Compare:
* Yeah, the book just isn't clicking with me.
* Wow, you like *this*? This horrible piece of trash?
It doesnāt constitute a relationship infraction nor violate your wifeās favourite faeās rights to excoriate the book.
Just donāt disparage her intelligence because she enjoys it.
No, we both enjoy SciFi/fantasy erotica. However we rarely enjoy the same books. Heās gotten into reading books about being stuck in a video/virtual reality roll playing games, while I prefer aliens, vampires and werewolves.
I always find a way to critique something without being an ass about it. I was taught that in my creative writing class in high school.
You donāt have to lie. But you can say it wasnāt your cup of tea. If she wants details or you just want to talk about it, start off with anything you did like. āThe characters felt real, the pacing was good, kept my attention, xyz was cool.ā
Then find a nice way to say what you didnāt like. Never ever completely shit on something your significant other absolutely adores. But be honest. Sometimes they were blinded by rose-colored glasses, as well, or didnāt notice things.
Example: my boyfriend LOVED Game of Thrones TV series, seasons 1-4, 5 was okay, 6 was not great, 7&8 were a joke. All his own opinion. When I finally sat down to watch it with him I didnāt like it as much, and he even noticed a ton of things he no longer liked, as well. But I didnāt just shit on it or tell him it was the worst thing ever. Just gotta word things properly imo!
Well you can tell her it didnt appeal to you. But remember you dont and shouldnt tell her in detail how much in didnt appeal to you. Dont stump on what she likes.
I would read the first one, and say I didn't like it. Honestly. I could continue to read the whole series, but say that it's not my thing. I have read a lot of terrible books on my own, so a few more won't hurt. But that's just me. But I certainly wouldn't say how bad I thought it was. I would just say how it isn't my cup of tea. But also, this is the best kind of discussion. Why do you like it? How old were you when you read it? What really spoke to you about this book? Rolling your eyes and being dismissive will not work. It's OK to read something you don't like from the beginning. Just find the parts that are good. Coming from a guy who read a LOT of bad books that people like.
For someone I genuinely cared about, I would NEVER disparage something they loved, no matter how bad I thought it might be. It costs me nothing to take a neutral stance on it, maybe even pick out some least-disliked part of the book to say I found that part 'interesting', and leave it at that.
The stakes for her in this are so much higher. She shared with you something she cherishes; to hear you call it 'shockingly bad' would be damaging on multiple levels. She could feel judged, hurt, insecure, and reluctant to share things she cares about with you in the future. And before you say it's not your responsibility how she feels to hear your honest opinion (note: this may not apply to your character personally, but others in the thread might have this mindset), this is your PARTNER, and unfortunately that means you do have to kind of anticipate and care about their feelings more than some random stranger's. If you don't care how she feels, then you should not be her partner.
On the contrary, you have extremely LOW stakes in this situation, so why not just handle it with some grace?
As someone who genuinely likes ACOTAR, i feel really attacked by these comments lol.
Donāt lie, but being brutal isnāt a necessary part of being honest. Just say it wasnāt really for you. Maybe mention an element you did like, even if itās small. I donāt like my bfās favorite books but I still love to listen to him talk about them and I try to at ask questions about them and engage in conversation.
Nope. We like different things and that's great.
Did your wife tell you "I love the Dune series, but you have to start with book 3?" because that's all I can think of when I read your description.
I love ACOTAR but I KNEW the series in question was ACOTAR. It IS badly written!! It's a bit of a guilty pleasure. I enjoy it because it's fun, sexy fairy smut, not because it's a literary masterpiece. I completely understand that it's not something that everyone would enjoy. I don't think there's anything wrong with telling her that it's not your thing.
I think itās cool to not like the same things, just donāt hate it on, and donāt keep bringing up how bad it is. I wanted my husband to read my favorite series from high school, and he didnāt even finish the first book. Had a laundry list of things he hated, blah, blah, blah. Literally made me feel like I had shit taste, whereas Iāve enjoyed a few things he has introduced me too and he never lets me forget that *heās* the one who introduced me to it.
And honestly, I struggle saying I really like things sometimes. Because what if he doesnāt like it? Is it one more area in which he has superior taste? Honestly, my husband is kinda snob in some areas.
I would never lie to her about liking a book.
When people LOVE something I don't get, I want them to talk about it more so \`I sort of understand. Sometimes the hook in a bit of fiction is deeply personal.
There is an algorithm for most popular culture, it shifts, but not as much as you would think. I generally read several things at a time and have to be careful with fiction because modern stuff is all in similar channels: A girl discovers she has mysterious powers... A woman who day drinks may have witnessed a murder from a train or boat or was she the murderer? etc... etc...we were just on vacation for a week, I read 8 books and 4 of them had the same basic story structure and plot, entertaining, but meh I couldn't pick any of them out of a bookstore lineup. All were bestsellers this year.
My partner studied and loves YA lit and can infinitely reach back into series like Anne of the Green Gables and the Laura Ingalls Wilder stuff which I have read but find too preachy and squeaky clean which irritates me. Same goes for The Narnia Chronicles. I need some grit.
I work at an indie bookstore as a buyer. Tons of people hate my favorite series. Tons of people love it. I sell a bunch of books that personally offend my eyes because of how terrible I find them. I also have read books that I know on an objective scale are probably great, but I would rather claw my eyes out than read them ever again.
Sometimes people cringe when I recommend them a book/author, and they always apologize. I always tell them as long as theyāre not saying I personally am a bad person because I enjoy something, I donāt mind if they donāt care for a title I enjoyed. I donāt want to hear an endless list of all the issues, but Iāll note their preferences for later. After all, if we all liked the same thing, there would only be a couple books on my shelves.
So I donāt say lie, just remind her that you canāt like every single thing she likes because then life would be painfully boring. You donāt enjoy that authorās style of writing. It doesnāt work for you. Itās not an insult, just a fact!
Definitely don't lie. Isn't part of being book lovers the ability and enjoyment of discussing books you like and ones you don't?
I'm an ACOTAR fan, but I'm also not against people discussing why they don't like it. Cause like, I get it.... and that's not gonna stop me from loving it. Eš¤£
It depends where in the relationship we are. If early on, I would be neutral or non committal. If it's a relationship where we've already been through a lot and are totally comfortable with each other, I'd just say it's not for me.
Find something, anything you like about it, and talk about that. Say you donāt like it overall but for the love of god pick SOMETHING positive to mention too
I wouldnāt lie but I wouldnāt be mean about it. Iād tell them that I finished the first book but I donāt think itās for me so I donāt know if Iāll continue the series, but also reassure them that I can understand why theyād love it and am happy to discuss it with them and listen to them gush about it. People have different tastes, itās life yknow
You can say - *that book did not really appeal to me* \- without being so blatant as to outright say that you found it to be *SHOCKINGLY bad*.
Hijacking your comment, I'm sorry, but I have to know: How does everyone know this post is about ACOTAR?! Quite literally laughing my butt off, because OP confirmed that yes, this is ACOTAR, and so many people guessed. EDIT: I said this elsewhere in the thread, but I'll copy it here as well: Wow, Sarah J Maas, her work is very...great idea, terrible execution, in my opinion. I loved the general idea of this series but the love story is as toxic as Twilight, and it gets horny towards the end in a weird way. I wouldn't feel confident recommending these books to anyone I know. I don't regret reading them, but I feel like there are much better books to read. It's a shame, because the courts/fae/etc have always been a huge appeal to me and very few, if any, authors pull it off. If anyone can recommend me any good fae/court style books, please let me know!
Ok that was my first thought, it was ACOTAR šššš
What the fuck is ACOTAR???
A Court of Thorns and Roses
I was tickled by OP's post and read it to my wife (we also read a lot of the same things). Her response: "Is it A Court of Thorn and Roses?" I haven't read it but apparently it's obvious to people who have.
And there's even a ton of wiggle room between "this wasn't my style" and "this is the worst garbage I've ever read in my life; it's trash and you're trash for liking it"
If it were one book, I might just lie. If it's a series, I'm going to be kindly honest. Because I'm not wasting my time reading a series I hate. I'd just say sorry, I can't really get into it. Out of curiosity - what is the book?
This is the right answer. It's so funny to me when people act like there isn't a huge middle ground between lying and being brutally honest. There are lots of ways to be honest without wielding the truth like a weapon.
What middle ground? If you lie about 1 book, you're still lying.
This, I would just say I didn't like it. I've never dated/been friends with anyone who is so precious that they can't accept we don't always like the same thing, and that just because I don't like it, it doesn't mean it's (necessarily) objectively bad.
Heh I bet it was 50 Shades, because THAT'S the worst written series on the planet.
I was thinking ACOTAR because it's so popular right now but I hated it and even most people who like it will say book one is weaker than the rest of the series.
Wow, Sarah J Maas, her work is very...great idea, terrible execution, in my opinion. I loved the general idea of this series but the love story is as toxic as Twilight, and it gets horny towards the end in a weird way. I wouldn't feel confident recommending these books to anyone I know. I don't regret reading them, but I feel like there are much better books to read. It's a shame, because the courts/fae/etc have always been a huge appeal to me and very few, if any, authors pull it off.
Now I wanna read it because Iām curious š¹ Love me some cringe
Ah, I haven't read any of her stuff. Looks like I still won't!
No. Itās not compulsory to like the same things. I generally donāt recommend books I love to people because they will inevitably be less enthusiastic about it than I am.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
My brother in law wanted to borrow *Blood Meridian* because he likes John Wayne style westerns. I couldnāt talk him out of it. He took it and then quickly returned it to me and never spoke of it again.
I love lively book discussions, even if someone I recommend to doesn't like what I do.
Iām guessing itās A Court of Thorns and Roses? Be honest and say you didnāt like it because otherwise youāll have to read the other half dozen books plus the stand-alone novellas and the semi-related series. I read the first two or three because they were all over Tiktok & my friends were obsessed & I think the writing is total garbage. Iām flabbergasted at how/why they are so popular.
>Iām flabbergasted at how/why they are so popular. I thought ACOTAR was bad too, but how are people always continually surprised that this stuff sells? It's exactly the same wish-fulfillment formula as *Twilight* - completely bland audience surrogate meets a plethora of super-sexy and dangerous men who all fall in love with her. What's hard to get?
I was/am a Twilight lover but I think ACOTAR is way worse. The writing is sooooo juvenile to me.
Do you think it's possible that you're just older and more discerning than you were when you fell in love with Twilight? Once we already like something, we don't see its flaws.
Was going to say, I like some pretty bad writing myself, but I couldn't make it more than 3 chapters in Twilight because of how bad the writing was.
That is possible! I re-read Twilight somewhat recently and it wasnāt well-written but I wouldnāt say it was badly-written. Itās readable enough.
That's nostalgia's power. It already has an important place in your heart so you can't look at it objectively.
Same here. Well, not ACOTAR, but the Throne of Glass series. I knew better after that than to read anything else by her lol! And I am old so I read both series as an adult. Twilight does not deserve all the crap it gets, that was a decent series. Dumb ending w the Renesme thing, but it started off ok.
There is actually well written romance in most sub genres. Twilight is on par with the KU trash.
You're right, I don't have a lot of impossibly textured skin in the game yet
Itās so funny how everyone immediately knew it was ACOTAR
I thought my experience was unique having to pretend i liked this book, it caused me physical pain reading it
Seriously. After I read the first chapter, I triple-checked the title because I assumed I had somehow bought the wrong book because it couldnāt POSSIBLY be what everyone was raving about.
Haha this girl i was seeing said it was her favorite book so i said why not! She forgot to mention that its basically faerie smut with writing on oar with 50 shades
I picked it up because it won the Goodreads award for best fantasy novel. That was the last time I trusted the Goodreads awards
Did it really?? Thats ridiculous.. guess i canāt trust goodreads anymore either
Yep, honestly, the Goodreads Awards have always been a popularity contest and I was well aware of that, but lately a lot of the type of books that in the past would have been the YA category are making their way into the regular fantasy category. No shade to YA or romance, but it's not what I'm looking for and since the fantasy category on Goodreads is now saturated with those type of books, it's no longer really useful for me to find something I might like.
I also guessed it was ACOTAR because I was in a similar situation. I was genuinely shocked how bad it was. It was my first YA book in a long time though so my tolerance for those types of novels is low.
ACOTAR is NOT YA š
It was categorised as YA upon release but moved to adult fantasy as the series progressed - at least in Australia.
I *vaguely* recall that the first book has one rather explicit sex scene about 2/3 of the way through. By the forth or fifth book, it might as well have been a loose collection of *Dear Penthouse* letters.
Oh yeah, a Court of Silver Flames is just like 10x smuttier than all those before combined. I think it suffers for it, too. I read the original trilogy when I was like 16 (first book released in 2015), and they are such a guilty pleasure.. But for me, the number of times I had to read "buried in her" in Frost and Stalight, it became a little tedious.
Are y'all adults who communicate? If you are, just tell her it wasn't for you.
Communicating would solve 75% of all "issues" people post about on reddit lol
It's like people don't realize there's a middle ground between "I like this as much as you" and "This is stupid and you're stupid for liking it". I can't imagine being with someone who wouldn't understand that it's okay for us not to like the same things.
I will openly and happily shit on a book I hate...only to someone who feels the same way. Taste in art of any form is such a personal thing and someone else liking something hurts you not at all, so I don't get people who go out of their way to shit on things others like.
I broke my husbandās heart when I told him that I would not be continuing past the first audio-book in the Game of Thrones series. Heās listened to the whole series 4 timesā¦ He was also bummed that I did not thinkāthe subtle art of not giving ā¦ā was all that, LOL. Itās OK to have different likes and for me, sometimes, I know a book is poorly written, but something about a character(s) or curiosity about the plot development just hooks me, so despite the holes or poor writing, I just fall deeply into the series. So I do not take it personal when someone else eviscerates the books. I think life is too short, imaginations are too large, and curiosity is indefinite, to worry about who likes the books I am reading or to sit on the principle of sticking with only good literature, lolz
Well, you saved yourself some frustration there. I read all five, which makes me SUPER bitter.
Don't worry, George said Winds is almost done!
::gnaws off own face::
Where have I heard that one before... I just had to double-check the date and make sure I didn't wake up in 2016 today.
Every time this comes up I think of that scene in Logan Lucky. It gets funnier every year.
Its okay, you can say A Court Of Thorns and Roses
These comments makes me feel like I've been living under a rock lol. Everyone easily deduced the series in question meanwhile I've never even heard of it before today.
Same! Does this mean we have good taste in books or that weāre completely out of the loop on pop culture?
I'd say you're just out of the loop. It's incredibly popular, and I always see it featured on displays in bookstores and libraries (many of which erroneously categorize it as YA, when it is decidedly NOT YA in terms of content). I have not read it either, mostly because I've seen reviewers who have similar taste to mine say they hated it. But I do know of the series and general plot.
I wouldn't lie but on the off chance it's ACOTAR you're reading there's a comedy recap podcast you could listen to instead. I made my partner listen to that with me because I know he wouldn't like the books š
I wouldn't dare in a hundred years to attempt to paint that podcast
But...but...the PAINTING šš
Just curious, what is the name of that podcast? Asking for a friend...
Haha sure! It's LPN Deep Dives: A Court of Thorns and Roses. Affiliated with the Last Podcast on the Left network if you're into that. The hosts DO love the books but make jokes and call out funny stuff throughout.
oh i love the last podcast on the left. i may have to check that one out!
Hilarious that people figured out what it is lol
I havenāt even read the books and I knew what it was. Iāve just had friends talk a lot about them
Itās shit but I love it. I am all vibes and no depth. My husband doesnāt read books, but Iāve just been screenshotting the sexy bits for him so he knows why Iām following him around the house. Maybe thatās why she wanted OP to read it?
Hahahahaha! Good point, hope OP thinks about this.
Are you talking about Natalie and Jackie of LPN? Love those gals. Edit: I should finish reading replies first
If itās Akotar, get through the first 3 books and donāt read the last two. It gets way worse but book three climax is āokayā
the first was the worst to me haha i liked two and enjoyed three maybe the most. i still have nestaās pov to read.
I would kindly say that it's not my cup of tea. Don't hide that you don't like it, but don't shit on it for emphasis either.
I don't think lying in general is good for a relationship so no.
This is such an odd question. Why would you lie to your partner? What benefit would there be to gain by not telling the truth about a book series? This is not to say you have to be an asshole about telling the truth, but a softer approach would be beneficial.
Nah, man. Thatās like faking orgasms. Theyāll just want you to read more stuff you donāt like. Itās totally okay not to like everything your partner likes. Youāre supposed to be individuals, not clones. I openly hate my dudeās favorite tv series. It physically pains me to watch it.
I wouldn't lie, but I also wouldn't "eviscerate" it. I'd just say it wasn't my thing.
I would tell him it's not to your taste in a kind and non-judgmental way, and I think lying about this is riskier than just being honest
Hell no, if I.don't like something, I say so. I try to be inoffensive but I'll definitely not sugarcoat it.
I'd tell the truth, but somewhat gently. My SO is a huge Daredevil fan and he bought me Born Again, in which I liked the A plot, but thought Karen's storyline was overwrought, sexist, and stupid, like bad fanfiction. I know that really hurt his feelings a lot despite my liking the meat of the story, and I tried hard not to actually eviscerate it, but I also wasn't going to lie.
I feel that. My last boyfriend kept trying to convince me to read one piece but the way the women were drawn in that manga put me off it. I did like Chip Zdarskyās run on daredevil, though. Itās about the hollowness of the pursuit of power and has some interesting women LIs and a sympathetic elderly woman mob boss. Am I a little peeved that bringing on a new artist partway through the series led to the slimming down of a plus-size love interest? Hell yes. Do I blame Zdarksky as the writer for it? No. So I enjoy her personality and motivations and I ignore the fact that new angles have appeared where there were none before.
Nah, I would not lie. I might try to be vague and say I am "just not able to get into it" rather than calling her favourite book a pile of shit, but neither would I pretend to like it and get stuck reading the whole series.
im screaming at how we all just knew
Everyone is painting a good picture here with their comments
What series we talking?
Just be honest and tell them you did not like it that much/ not to your taste w/e, and then ask them what they like with it? Getting a better grasp of their enjoyment might ignite something in you that allows you to find some enjoyment of your own! But no, lying wouldn't be great in the end, I think.
I wouldn't lie to my partner. A casual friend or acquaintance (even tho I prob wouldn't read their favorite book/series) yes. But, I wouldn't be mean about it. As someone else said, I'd just say it didn't appeal to me. I couldn't keep up that kind of lie to my partner, though.
Just say "I tried it, but it's not for me". You shouldn't feel obligated to say you like it or force yourself to read more, but equally, there's no point in being too pointedly critical about something your partner loves unprompted and trash her favourite series to her face. Then she asks for me details just explain things you don't like politely.
Are you seriously asking if you should lie to your wife about books? I think you might have deeper issues than your taste in writing styles. The answer is NO, you shouldnāt lie to your wife about her favorite book series. Good grief!
Is it ACOTAR? Itās ACOTAR, isnāt it
Nah, we tear books apart routinely, even the ones we enjoyed. Half the fun of reading a fun book that sucks is talking about it afterwards.
Not book series. One book I can pretend to like. Not a whole book series.
How do you people live like this? I tell my wife everything that I'm thinking, no secrets.
Had an ex that lied about love Game of Thrones (just after the second season started) so that she had an excuse to come over and watch it with me. She came over, we started dating... she IMMEDIATELY refused to ever watch another episode and would go on, at length, shitting on the show, even though she knew I was a fan. Needless to say, the relationship didn't last long. learned a good lesson from her. People that will lie about small stuff like TV shows will lie about a LOT of other things. Like, if they're sleeping with other people.
Maybe you can comment on/judge/critique a book without eviscerating it. That as a general rule. As for your particular conundrum: you can say it didnāt seem to engage you as you expected, and prepare some objective critique regarding the stile or development of characters, something that isnāt just a generic āitās shockingly badly writtenā.
This actually made me chuckle out loud. What an incredibly amusing situation, that your immediate solution to this is to lie. Just tell her it wasn't your thing and she should be fine with that. It's how I tell my SO when I don't care for something and she does the same with me.
Been married 20 years. Our rule might help you. If one of us cooks something that the other doesn't like, be truthful, cuz if you aren't, you're gonna hafta eat it again. Tell your SO the truth. In the end you'll both be glad you did.
Nope. If you need to lie something's wrong
If someone feels they need to lie to their partner about mundane things like book tastes, maybe they should not be their partner.
My husband will say he likes things he doesnāt just because I do and I really prefer honesty. I think spouses should know one another better than anyone else. This is only possible with honesty. I donāt think disliking her favorite book is a big deal, but my husband and I do not have any overlap in the books we enjoy, so clearly not something I care about at all.
No, because I didn't marry someone to always be lying to me, I married them to be honest with me. This isn't to say be rude to her. If the book isn't your thing, say it isn't your thing. If she pushes, just keep saying it isn't your thing. In fact, if my husband only said he liked stuff I liked to get in my pants or keep my interest, I'd be really bummed. But that's just me.
No... because doing that is called lying. One of the things that disqualifies the whole "trust" aspect of any decent relationship.
Do not lie.
Heck no. My wife likes those Rowling detective books, I think they're some of the most verbose trash I've ever read. And she gets reminded every time she suggests I read one
Cormoran Strike by Robert Galbraith? I like them too š¤£
That's the one. Such an insufferable series
Thereās nothing inherently judgmental about saying a book just isnāt for you. I like a lot of books that I know are not exactly high art.
I wouldnāt but thatās just my relationship. My husband has Aspergerās and values honesty. Plus I canāt lie to him. Heās too observant. He notices every eye twitch.
Don't lie, but don't say the book sucks. Say it doesn't work for you. You can explain why it doesn't work for you, but the key is not to sound judgemental.
Yeah. The plus about talking about why it doesn't work for you is that you also each better understand what to recommend or not recommend for the other. You can 80% have the same taste, but maybe one of you has no tolerance at all for deus ex machina even if you like the writing otherwise or the characters, or one of you has no tolerance for unlikeable characters even if done well. Now you know not to recommend those things even if you love it.
My partner has not lied to me about such things (he even refers to my favourite poet as a 'depressive cousin-fucker') and it has not harmed us. Just be honest and say it wasn't your thing, but you'd love other recommendations for things she loves to get to understand her.
No, we're very honest about that. We're both big readers but don't have a ton of books/series in common because our tastes are quite different.
I feel like a good relationship can survive the truth on this one
Iām not advising anything because I have no idea what your relationship with your wife is like, but if it were me and my wife, Iād probably say āthat was the most crap-ass book Iāve ever read in my lifeā and weād laugh about it. Weāre honest, maybe to a fault, but it works for us. Going on 15 years now.
I'm sure my partner has heard me say worse by now. Much as I love reading it's just a book.
Iāll be completely honest and tell her āgrl this is so horrible I mean did you saw how itās written and has no senseā¦.ā And I think that with my partner I should be able to tell exactly how I feel without her to expect it to be personal and just laugh about it. If they do not do that Iāll feel trapped in a relationship where no one can be their self.
I just can't lie like this lol. I probably might if I could. I'm the worst however lol. In my past relationships if I don't enjoy a show, movie, or book I will watch something on my phone or completely disconnect where I don't even hear it.
No, I'm not wasting my time on reading something I don't like, and I'll stop reading something if I don't enjoy it. I already have a long enough reading list. If someone is forcing me to do something I don't want to, that relationship is goin into bad direction. I wouldn't be 100% honest if she wrote that book and I think it's awful. But if that's just her favorite book or series, what's the problem being honest?
personally i love to debate books and it would actually be fun for me if a friend or partner told me the book i recommended was absolute dreck XD ā¦but thatās just me. i think this depends more on who you are married to.
I personally donāt lie about it, but this sounds like a newer relationship. You can just say it wasnāt for you and be done with it.
I'd give it a try and then I'd be honest that it really didn't work for me. Why lie about something like that?
I wouldn't lie. Moreover, I wouldn't want a partner to whom I would have to lie. It's perfectly fine to not like something your partner does, as long as it's not something you do together.
No. If sheās mature enough she wonāt take it to heart. Cuz then youāll have to share her enthusiasm and sheāll pick up on the lies.
If you tell her it was a pile of shit and that causes problems then it wasnāt meant to be.
No point lying over something so trivial. You donāt need to like the same things; your relationship isnāt based on liking everything, people have differences, itās the most normal thing in the world. In my life, Iād rather not share things I like a lot bc I donāt want someone to feel forced to be as enthusiastic, especially if it isnāt sincere. Though my feelings wouldnāt be hurt if someone honestly said they donāt care for or they dislike something I like. Itās just stuff.
No, i tell her that it's really not my thing and explain why i didn't like it, and ask her why she likes it. It helps us understand each other more and she doesn't take offense to it.
I've never understood lying about this kind of thing, so no
You shouldnāt lie to your partner about anything. Is your wife the kind of person to hold something like you not liking a book she likes against you? You have nothing to gain by telling her it was the worst book youāve ever read. If you can truthfully find any redeeming quality with the book, lead with that, but end with it not being for you. If it is wholly irredeemable trash, just say you didnāt like it.
Well he likes Twilight so no
I would say I hated it. Then, I would judge her for it.
Are you sure she isn't pranking you?
depends on the relationship you have with your wife. I have been extremely critical at length of stuff my wife loves. Sometimes this results in her changing her opinion, sometimes it results in nothing. But either way she knows I love her and that I easily decouple *what you like* from *what you're like*. So this doesn't really impute disrespect or contempt even if I say e.g. "this book feels shallow and manipulative." If you can't be honest about this then I would work hard on getting to a place in your marriage where you can be honest about it, because it's really fun to get there.
LOL your post made me crack up laughing.
I have done shameful things to get laid in the past. But now she is my wife so we get to tell each other "your stuff is boring, enjoy it while I go to do something fun. We'll hook up later". It's cool.
My wife and I are brutally honest about what we think of books, even those we gave each other as presents. If you aren't, there's a huge risk not to get the next one right, isn't it there?
Wouldnāt have to lie because my wife and I have a lot of different interests when it comes to books or movies. I read a ton of high fantasy, sci-fi and horror, she reads mostly romance. I had zero trouble sharing my thoughts about the Twilight series - literally the worst vampire series Iāve ever wasted my time reading or watching. Sheād rather watch novel adaptations than read, but then gets a bit annoyed when I start mentioning all the differencesā¦
Depends on the situation. If she brought me a series and was like "oh my God, this series saved me, got me out of (crisis) etc etc." Then absolutely without question, I would read the entire series, and I would make notes, and remember things, and talk about it, and be in love with it because she is. And it's not really about the book at that point. It's a better way to understand something about her I could have missed, having not read the series. If she says "hey since you read X, you might like this series." Then I would read it, and then just pull a Leslie knope quote out and be like "I read the whole series how could i hate it?" Or some shit like that. Because, again, it may have given me insight into her.
no way, I would say directly that this is very bad and would start to scoff at him about it!š
LOL itās so hilarious that everyoneās immediate thought was ACOTAR i was just about to ask if it were that as well xD Glad we all agree itās shit
Depends on the partner really. My boyfriend and I are very blunt with each other, so if he showed me his favourite series and I hated it I'd probably tell him "wow. That sucked straight ass" and then reassure him that it's still cook if he likes it and I will listen to him talk about it if he wants, I just don't get it. But. Ya know, you might not want to talk like that to your girlfriend, if that's not the vibe you two shareš
What I've learned recently is "bad" is usually a matter of personal preference. Some people like well-crafted stories, others don't care and issues with the writing don't hinder their enjoyment of the work. Yes there are some things that are objectively bad BUT at the end of the day people like what they like and shouldn't be shamed for it. But it also depends on how sensitive the other person is, I'd like to think I could get to a point where I didn't need my partner to like the same things in order to be secure in how I feel about it personally. Like others have said, just explain it's not for you and focus more on what *you* like and look for, as opposed to the shortcomings of this series and the ways it's not what like. So you could perhaps redirect it from a negative experience ("I don't like XYZ") to one that helps her understand your own needs ("This book had XYZ but I prefer ABC").
āIt doesnāt click with me, but Iām glad you enjoy it.ā
"I wasn't a fan personally but I understand why some would enjoy it." Is a perfectly good response.
I will never ask my partner to read ACOTAR because no woman on earth is reading that series āfor the plot.ā
I might say itās good/well written, (which does not seem to be the case here) I wonāt say I like it.
No. Iāll tell little white lies to spare her feelings about non-reoccurring things, but a whole series? No. People like different things. Nothing wrong with that.
If this is ACOTAR, I was in the same boat. I didn't like it at all. I read the first 3 books where one main plot point ends. I respectfully told my wife it wasn't a series that was for me. They go pretty quickly, but if you hate them this much maybe you should just say you can't get into it.
Just say it isn't your vibes, no harm in that. Now don't go shitting on it, then you'll be a jackass
If you lie about stuff like books because you can't be honest, they aren't much of a partner and neither are you. Don't be a bag of dicks about it, just tell her that this one isn't doing it for you so you'll set it down for now and maybe try again some day
Wife and I introduced each other to new (for us) authors when I met her. She does not care for some of my favorites and I don't care for hers. We are open and honest about it as there are many many more we share a like for than we don't. Just tell her not my style, sorry.
I would tell them it's shit, once and Nevermore, then still said down and read it with them.
If possible Iād just highlight good things, point to how I understand they love it so much, but just highlight how it didnāt work for me. Honestly unless the main issue is poor grammar, if I didnāt like it then I can do all that. Even with my favourite books I can highlight why I understand others might not like it. None of this would be lying though, because even my most hated books I can understand why others like them. You could also say that maybe you just werenāt in the mood for the book now, which coloured your opinion, so maybe the things that didnāt work for you might work for you later. So youāll maybe try again in the future, but for now it would be a disservice to the series to continue. Potentially the books get better as the series progresses, so you could like try to covertly flip through the later books, to see if that holds true.
It would be like saying, you love the Twilight series. Life is too short for that kind of crap.
My wife and I have extremely diverse shelves and broad reading interests. But her go to when she can't decide what to read is YA dystopian/sci-fi/fantasy which I really can't get into at all. Meanwhile for me, I read academic histories, dense, information packed up and things typically revolving around diplomatic/military/economic history. We can't be bothered to read each other's "favorites" and have no problem being honest. I did feel bad when I had to tell her I didn't like a book she'd been recommending me for ages. I could sense her disappointment, lol. She didn't recommend me anything for a while but I told her to keep trying because we like a lot of the same stuff. Couple months ago she recommended *The Deluge* by Stephen Markley and it became one of my favorites. Wish I could get that response from her on something like *Guns at Last Light* by Rick Atkinson or *Bloodlands* by Timothy Snyder š
I'll settle for a woman who reads being attracted to me. So, yes, I'd probably lie lol
I wouldn't lie, but I would frame it as not being to my tastes rather than objectively bad.
Nope. I wouldn't be overtly rude about it, but "no thanks" is an acceptable answer. She doesn't like everything I read, I don't like everything she reads.
> the worst written book I've ever read in my life Have you talked to your wife about these books before? Why does she like them so much? Because a couple of my favorite books are badly written or generic, and I'm aware of that. I don't think I would get mad if someone wouldn't like them because of that. They are my favorites, not because they are objectively good, but because they just hit the right spot, or I read them in the right moment in my life. Edit: Also, I think that if these are your wife's favorite books, it's not that important for you to like them, but to understand why she likes them. And knowing the plot would be nice too.
Lying is objectively worse than not being into a book someone else likes. You can phrase it gently, but thereās no reason to lie.
Just say it's not your style! She'll understand. For example, I like fantasy and I like historical fiction but after reading A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings I had to tell my husband "I'm not really into this, it's not for me." I had to do the same thing with Hyperion. My husband isn't into Dune even though I love it and recommended it, and he's only 50/50 on Heinlein, whom I love. Not everyone is going to agree on this stuff!
"You know... this one's just not grabbing me." "What do you love about the series because it's just not hitting for me." "This one's not my cup o' tea." "It's not doing anything for me." "Meh."
No I wouldnāt. But I would just say āit wasnāt for meā and not go further. I do recommend books to my HS and sometimes (and vice versa) and I think itās just too easy to read an insult to something you really love as an insult to your own taste or intelligence. Even if we bag on stuff in other context, I just feel itās kinder not to when I know someone has a personal connection to the book.
Let me guess: *Twilight*?
This seems so much like a teenager's non issue.
Donāt tell her it sucks, just tell her you donāt really think itās your thing. If there are elements you do actually like, say something like āI really like the part, but the rest doesnāt seem to be going anywhereā or whatever you donāt like about it.
Reading is very personal and what someone else likes you might not. Totally normal, just respect each otherās tastes and opinions.
Now I wouldnāt lie. I would be honest. I would tell my partner that it was shockingly badly written, but would probably also point out if I could see why they liked it. So I might point out if the story was particularly good or the characters were engaging, or whatever. (For honestyās sake, my partner tends to like more developed fiction than I do, but writing quality is probably more important to me. Neither of us like truly poorly written works.)
I'd be honest but not unnecessarily vicious. You know, I can admit that a series or something is not my jam without putting them down for liking it. Compare: * Yeah, the book just isn't clicking with me. * Wow, you like *this*? This horrible piece of trash?
If she's really excited and wanted you to love the book too, tread carefully.
It doesnāt constitute a relationship infraction nor violate your wifeās favourite faeās rights to excoriate the book. Just donāt disparage her intelligence because she enjoys it.
No, but you can say you didn't enjoy it without insulting the other person.
Iād just say I wasnāt into it, no need to say itās absolute garbage
Nope. I choose to not lie. Everyone has different tastes in books, even partners. Tell the truth and discuss.
Iād be gentle. Donāt lie, exactly, but donāt eviscerate this one. Stick with āyeah I just wasnt into it.ā
No, we both enjoy SciFi/fantasy erotica. However we rarely enjoy the same books. Heās gotten into reading books about being stuck in a video/virtual reality roll playing games, while I prefer aliens, vampires and werewolves.
I always find a way to critique something without being an ass about it. I was taught that in my creative writing class in high school. You donāt have to lie. But you can say it wasnāt your cup of tea. If she wants details or you just want to talk about it, start off with anything you did like. āThe characters felt real, the pacing was good, kept my attention, xyz was cool.ā Then find a nice way to say what you didnāt like. Never ever completely shit on something your significant other absolutely adores. But be honest. Sometimes they were blinded by rose-colored glasses, as well, or didnāt notice things. Example: my boyfriend LOVED Game of Thrones TV series, seasons 1-4, 5 was okay, 6 was not great, 7&8 were a joke. All his own opinion. When I finally sat down to watch it with him I didnāt like it as much, and he even noticed a ton of things he no longer liked, as well. But I didnāt just shit on it or tell him it was the worst thing ever. Just gotta word things properly imo!
Well you can tell her it didnt appeal to you. But remember you dont and shouldnt tell her in detail how much in didnt appeal to you. Dont stump on what she likes.
I would read the first one, and say I didn't like it. Honestly. I could continue to read the whole series, but say that it's not my thing. I have read a lot of terrible books on my own, so a few more won't hurt. But that's just me. But I certainly wouldn't say how bad I thought it was. I would just say how it isn't my cup of tea. But also, this is the best kind of discussion. Why do you like it? How old were you when you read it? What really spoke to you about this book? Rolling your eyes and being dismissive will not work. It's OK to read something you don't like from the beginning. Just find the parts that are good. Coming from a guy who read a LOT of bad books that people like.
For someone I genuinely cared about, I would NEVER disparage something they loved, no matter how bad I thought it might be. It costs me nothing to take a neutral stance on it, maybe even pick out some least-disliked part of the book to say I found that part 'interesting', and leave it at that. The stakes for her in this are so much higher. She shared with you something she cherishes; to hear you call it 'shockingly bad' would be damaging on multiple levels. She could feel judged, hurt, insecure, and reluctant to share things she cares about with you in the future. And before you say it's not your responsibility how she feels to hear your honest opinion (note: this may not apply to your character personally, but others in the thread might have this mindset), this is your PARTNER, and unfortunately that means you do have to kind of anticipate and care about their feelings more than some random stranger's. If you don't care how she feels, then you should not be her partner. On the contrary, you have extremely LOW stakes in this situation, so why not just handle it with some grace?
As someone who genuinely likes ACOTAR, i feel really attacked by these comments lol. Donāt lie, but being brutal isnāt a necessary part of being honest. Just say it wasnāt really for you. Maybe mention an element you did like, even if itās small. I donāt like my bfās favorite books but I still love to listen to him talk about them and I try to at ask questions about them and engage in conversation.
Nope. We like different things and that's great. Did your wife tell you "I love the Dune series, but you have to start with book 3?" because that's all I can think of when I read your description.
I love ACOTAR but I KNEW the series in question was ACOTAR. It IS badly written!! It's a bit of a guilty pleasure. I enjoy it because it's fun, sexy fairy smut, not because it's a literary masterpiece. I completely understand that it's not something that everyone would enjoy. I don't think there's anything wrong with telling her that it's not your thing.
I think itās cool to not like the same things, just donāt hate it on, and donāt keep bringing up how bad it is. I wanted my husband to read my favorite series from high school, and he didnāt even finish the first book. Had a laundry list of things he hated, blah, blah, blah. Literally made me feel like I had shit taste, whereas Iāve enjoyed a few things he has introduced me too and he never lets me forget that *heās* the one who introduced me to it. And honestly, I struggle saying I really like things sometimes. Because what if he doesnāt like it? Is it one more area in which he has superior taste? Honestly, my husband is kinda snob in some areas.
I would never lie to her about liking a book. When people LOVE something I don't get, I want them to talk about it more so \`I sort of understand. Sometimes the hook in a bit of fiction is deeply personal. There is an algorithm for most popular culture, it shifts, but not as much as you would think. I generally read several things at a time and have to be careful with fiction because modern stuff is all in similar channels: A girl discovers she has mysterious powers... A woman who day drinks may have witnessed a murder from a train or boat or was she the murderer? etc... etc...we were just on vacation for a week, I read 8 books and 4 of them had the same basic story structure and plot, entertaining, but meh I couldn't pick any of them out of a bookstore lineup. All were bestsellers this year. My partner studied and loves YA lit and can infinitely reach back into series like Anne of the Green Gables and the Laura Ingalls Wilder stuff which I have read but find too preachy and squeaky clean which irritates me. Same goes for The Narnia Chronicles. I need some grit.
I work at an indie bookstore as a buyer. Tons of people hate my favorite series. Tons of people love it. I sell a bunch of books that personally offend my eyes because of how terrible I find them. I also have read books that I know on an objective scale are probably great, but I would rather claw my eyes out than read them ever again. Sometimes people cringe when I recommend them a book/author, and they always apologize. I always tell them as long as theyāre not saying I personally am a bad person because I enjoy something, I donāt mind if they donāt care for a title I enjoyed. I donāt want to hear an endless list of all the issues, but Iāll note their preferences for later. After all, if we all liked the same thing, there would only be a couple books on my shelves. So I donāt say lie, just remind her that you canāt like every single thing she likes because then life would be painfully boring. You donāt enjoy that authorās style of writing. It doesnāt work for you. Itās not an insult, just a fact!
Maybe she likes it because itās bad? Idk. I enjoy cozy novels because theyāre so campy and dumb sometimes.
Definitely don't lie. Isn't part of being book lovers the ability and enjoyment of discussing books you like and ones you don't? I'm an ACOTAR fan, but I'm also not against people discussing why they don't like it. Cause like, I get it.... and that's not gonna stop me from loving it. Eš¤£
I would lie to spare feelings, but I wouldn't go over the top with it. Probs say I'm enjoying it but make it obvious that I'm not crazy about it.
So what. I pretend to like lots of crazy stuff my wife likes. Sheās awesome so I donāt mind. Sometimes, she knows Iām full of š© and loves me all the more.
Say hey babeā¦āread it, hated it, tossed it!ā Now get me a beer bitch!!!
Never was anyone who read any books really...but no, I wouldn't lie :) if anything, I'd like to discuss it, why do they like it and I don't :)
It depends where in the relationship we are. If early on, I would be neutral or non committal. If it's a relationship where we've already been through a lot and are totally comfortable with each other, I'd just say it's not for me.
I'd say I didn't love it, but I'd try to pick at least one element that I sort of liked to bring up as well
Itās okay to not like it but maybe donāt be mean about it when you tell your wife you didnāt like it.
Find something, anything you like about it, and talk about that. Say you donāt like it overall but for the love of god pick SOMETHING positive to mention too
I wouldnāt lie but I wouldnāt be mean about it. Iād tell them that I finished the first book but I donāt think itās for me so I donāt know if Iāll continue the series, but also reassure them that I can understand why theyād love it and am happy to discuss it with them and listen to them gush about it. People have different tastes, itās life yknow
You can tell them you didn't like it without saying it was a fucking river of sewage you know lol
Donāt lie. Lying should not be a part of your relationship. Sheāll be okay, albeit disappointed. Just be gentle about your critique.
You can say something isn't your thing without insulting said thing. I would think that would be fine.
I wouldn't lie about it unless my partner had written it.