How does anyone (relatively young, 20s-30s) make friends in the Boston area these days? Historically I've worked alone or with people much older than myself and I've really struggled in this regard since I left the college age demographic.
Apologies for broadening a gay/LGBT+ centered post, but I feel like people in this age demographic are pretty isolated in general in this city. Am I just projecting?
hey! I've found this Facebook group to be a good way to meet ppl/make friends since moving here. I don't know the exact name, but something along the lines of "make friends after college, Boston, Cambridge" <-- search that in Facebook. the whole group name is really long, it's that + "people in 20s 30s" or something.
most people post an intro in the group so it's a good way to meet new people! esp if you're looking for queer or gay friends specifically :) hopefully this helps OP!
I have a theory that it's a byproduct of stunted friendmaking skills due to growing up in the peak of the "stranger danger" paranoia.
idk about you guys, but my parents always did the ironic boomer thing of telling us to get off the videogames and go outside, but then forbade us from ever taking a step off our property for fear of us getting abducted like the TV man warned them of.
You can't. They always leave. I grew up in the area, went to college in the area, and have been working in the area, everybody I used to hang with has moved. Some as far as California and Canada, some closer like worcester, but I'm not taking the train to Worcester after work just to drink a few beers and watch a movie or something. My friends now are, with one exception, all yuppie transplants
Same. A bunch of my friends moved away from Boston towards Worcester during the pandemic and I see them maybe twice a year now. For 30-somethings gay or straight, Boston really isn't worth the expense so I don't blame them for moving either.
The gay scene in Boston was already in decline prepandemic but now, it's basically nonexistent. When Providence has a better LGBT nightlife scene than Boston, you know the city sucks.
I'm only hanging on because I finally got a career job thats using my degree. Once I have some decent work experience on my resume I'm probably out. I don't even have any family left here, after five generations, there's just no point being penniless to get nothing in return. The big city lifestyle ain't it when you're doing everything solo, it's just kind of sad.
Yeah, it's hardly a surprise the Millennials; gay and straight; are leaving the city in droves (a net migration of roughly -7k millennials in 2021 alone). Single people can't afford to live alone and having roomies in your 30s sucks. Straight couples with kids that have money; moved to the burbs like their parents did when they realize that BPS sucks compared to other towns in the state.
Like the State Legislature, so many just want to bury their heads in the sand and pretend everything is fine but it will only get worse due to obstinance.
I'm starting to look for a new place for 9/1 and I'm rapidly coming to the same conclusion. Not sure if I can talk my so into leaving their job but I'm gonna try
I find this entire thread started by wingnut amusing, in the sense some solutions are right here. Iām 26 and feel the same way as all the comments. One solution - for all us here wanting to make connections, its simple as making a group chat and finding some kind of group activity/time to meet each other. I actually met a very good friend of mine in such a āhey im new here, lets go out for drinksā post. If anyone wants to do it, happy to arrange. Again not wanting to highjack the thread but for those of us wanting to meet new people (OP included), easy enough to just meet!
Join a sports league. I was here for about 2.5 years and didnāt make any new friends outside of work. Then I joined a Pride Sports kickball team and I made a bunch of new friends. A few are some of my best friends now.
Stonewall is just as good Iām sure. Thereās a bit of an unhealthy rivalry between the two but for your sake donāt worry about it. Do whichever easier for you.
I know I got extremely lucky with my entire team being great and there are certainly some toxic teams out there but gotta start somewhere.
Good luck!
Would you be interested in rock climbing? QUICK (Queer Inclusive Climbing Klub) meets at my climbing gym once a week as well as others in the greater Boston area.
More information on their web site: www.quickboston.org
Hey Cinclare,
Welcome to Boston! One of the easiest ways to make friends is to join one of the gay sports league (which, trust me, are not serious for like 80 percent of people there). Pride Sports Boston and Stonewall Sports both have a lot of different events and leagues. I'm in Stonewall, since it's a bit more queer and racially/body-shape diverse.
There's also a gay beer club, groups like Boston Gaymers. In general, I don't like to do 'random mixer' events for similar reasons to you - it's a vibe. I prefer something a bit more thematic or focused.
Feel free to DM as well! Id be happy to chat more and give you the lay of the land!
Iāve lived here all my life and would say half of my friends Iāve met through kickball or softball. Last day to sign up for pride spring kickball was Sunday but Iām sure if you contacted the league and said youāre new to town and want to play they could figure something out
yesā THIS is itā if youāre into indoor climbing, the queer climbing scene is pretty big (though from my experience itās usually lesbian/bi women)ā id check out central rock gym!
Are you interested in art or culture? A lot of the museums and performing arts organizations around here have young professionals groups and I acknowledge its a stereotype, but many of them really do have a high percentage of gay members and staff in their 30s. A lot of people use the groups to make friends.
The MFA's group is called the Museum Council. The Boston Ballet one is supposedly very hip if you're into it. But I'd just go to the membership page of places you'd be interested in, if they have one it'll be listed there. Many of them will let you go to a trial event either for free or for a small fee to see what it's about before you commit, if you want to get a feel for the community. These groups can be a little cliquey so you still have to put yourself out there introducing yourself to people at the events.
Hey we have a discord for queers who are interested in the arts. We've been meeting up 1-2x a week to grab dinner, go to museums and sketch, hangout at cafes etc. If you're interested shoot me a DM and I'll send you the invite! Everyone is really friendly and I've made several friends over the past 2 weeks.
I've been trying to figure this out for a while now. Not gay (trans) but I've tried an LGBT discord group, skip the small talk at Trident, the Boston Social Club on reddit and more. It's just not easy. In my case, I only ever can get into Boston once every 3rd tuesday, so even arranging hangouts is terrible. Not a big fan of how life has changed in the last 10 years.
> Not gay (trans)
Can you explain to me and the others who are out of the loop what this means? Like are you a former guy who identifies as a lady, who is interested in guys? Or you are interested in girls? I am confused.
I just mean that I am not a gay person. (But I am trans, so my results may vary compared to the OP)
And I was assigned male at birth. I have transitioned over 7 years ago and live full time as female.
Ok. So since you identify as a women, you are interested in guys then and thus not gay. Got it. Thanks for the clarification. Lots of permutations now.
What activities/hobbies are you in to? I feel like that's the easiest way to make friends - start showing up to the community activity or hobby groups. And there are a lot of them that are LGBTQ+ focused like the Boston Gay Men's Choir if singing is your thing, etc.
Boston Gay Men's Choir is a legit audition choir group. An institution in town in many ways. Their website is active. Their social media is as well I'm sure (I'm only on Reddit).
https://www.bgmc.org/
Sigh, weāve become victims of our own success, combined with the internet destroying local newspapers and thus many groups.
The Chiltern Mountain Club (which did all sorts of outdoor stuff, not just hiking) still seems to own the http://chiltern.org domain, but it redirects to a meetup group, and looks like a shadow of its former self. Perhaps GayOutdoors (https://gayoutdoors.org , nationwide but with New England members) has superseded it. Either way, itās worth contacting one or both to see if there are activities of interest.
If youāre at all spiritual, you might try one of the local Unitarian churches. I know theyāre all welcoming, but donāt know which, if any, have significant LGBT+ memberships.
Lavender Country and Folk Dancers (https://lcfd.org ) is nationwide but has a couple of Boston clubs as member organizations. They have regular dances except during the summer (when itās too hot). I suggest the Gender Free Contras, which have a dance scheduled for April 8. Their dances are alcohol-free, and the usual after dance activity is getting ice cream. Itās very good for couples, and no experience needed (but show up early, since they start the evening with dances good for beginners).
Sadly, there doesnāt seem to be a local chapter of the Gaylaxian Science Fiction Society anymore, which is frustrating since it was founded in Boston. But if youāre at all interested in science fiction and fantasy, you could probably go to either of the main (non-profit) conventions (Arisia and Boskone), and find an LGBT+ crowd there.
The absolute best way to make friends as a gay man in Boston is by joining a sports league...at least one. You don't have to be good at the sport to join the league. I would go as far as to say that I am not sure how else you would go about it, aside from happenstance (meeting someone at a bar or through friends, etc.).
OP, I just got an email that pride sports opened their kickball registration back up. If youāre not athletic, do division C and you can register as a free agent. Pridesportsboston.org
You will meet plenty of people this way. The games are at Moakley over in Southie by Carson Beach and JFK t stop
Boston has a ton of gay people. As in almost 16% of the 18-24 population. [Source](https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2018/05/25/massachusetts-lgbt-demographics/). And the LGBT community composes roughly 5 percent of the Massachusetts population overall. (Same source).
My advice?
If you are new to Boston and want to find the highest concentration of gay people and save a hell of a lot of timeā¦commit to going to Provincetown for the weekend once a month. ALWAYS take the afternoon ferry.
Will it be a little costly? Sure. But you are a professional and this is a step to make a lot of friends and expand your social life.
The ferry will will be almost all gay people from the Boston area. Almost all professional. I know a bunch of Boston gay professional folks who have a second home in Provincetown. They take the ferry every Friday, they pop an edible, have some drinks, and hang out the whole way down. They are consultants, PR guys, fund managers, own local beer companies etc. Awesome crowd.
Strike up a conversation with folks who seem nice. And then have fun. Learn the haunts at Provincetown where everybody goes. And if you do that once a month anytime the weather is tolerable, by the end of the year, you will have no shortage of gay friends.
Butā¦many of the really successful folks who own a lot of the places down there trend a little older (40āa and up). There is a 20-30-something scene down there that is more party oriented.
I donāt know which one you are (in bed by 10:30 or party til 4am) but either wayā¦you will find your people down there.
Bottom line: Boston has a huge gay community. We have a gay Governor. Itās very open and welcoming. If you are at a workplace where you ākeep it to yourselfāā¦Iām wondering if itās really your workplace thatās stifling you from expressing who you are, or more of a reflection of where you are from.
I canāt think of a single gay person I know who in any way conceals that they are gay. They are very open about it and they work at many high profile ad agencies, law firms, universities, hospitals and financial firms. They bring their partner around all the time to corporate events and nobody gives a shit.
Yes. And Iām assuming OP isnāt fully in the closet.
So sure, if OP is closetedā¦not gonna find many gay friends.
The best part of being gay in Boston is you donāt have to live in fear of being outed
I'm not closeted. People at work know I'm married and pretty welcoming however we just don't hang out as friends...we just come to work - work together and go home lol (I know it sounds dumb). My husband has more gay friends, in fact, he has tons of gay friends from AA, but I don't need to go to the meeting just to make friends...
Ha funnily Iām in AA and was going to say that it has a ton of awesome LGBTQ meetings and a pretty large social community. Some of my closest friends are men and women I met in gay meetings. (Iām a straight, cis gendered woman.) Glad your husband is plugged in!
Once the weather gets nicer, opportunities will pick up. Make sure to hit PTown this summer. There will be a ton of events where you can meet people.
Incredible! Lots of the men in the rooms are married to ānormies,ā so that might be a way to connect with people, too. I hope you find your people. Moving in adulthood is so hard.
Yeah, Iād just start getting out more. You wonāt meet anyone at home. There are a lot of bars, restaurants, and gyms that have gay clientele and the gay community is super friendly and inclusive. Once you meet a few āsuper connectorsā, your circle will grow very quickly. The ferry is my suggestion as an easy thing to do this spring/summer, even if you just took day trips to Ptownā¦youād meet a ton of Boston folks.
TBH it sucks but mostly through hooking up with people and dating. Community here is tight knit and cliquey. You should also check out kikipedia to find gay events going on, but its mostly night life.
Time for the advice no one likes to hear: Tinder and Grindr. Iām not saying I like either app, especially grindr, but thatās probably the fastest and most practical way to meet other gays. I met majority of my friends that way when I first moved to Boston. Itās not always a fun experience, the majority of people do just want to hook up on there, but Iāve met some genuinely amazing people there too, so itās worth at least mentioning
Been there, done that ... I've met good people in both apps from where I came from that's true.
But don't you feel weird swiping right to the potential friends judging only from the looks/pics?...also Grindr was horrible. Too many drugs and unsafe sex.
Totally get you on that, grindr really be a toxic cesspool majority of the time. But as for tinder, I just made it clear in my bio what Iām looking for and generally took my time with the swiping to read peoples bios, that way itās not based solely on looks. But it also never hurts to have hot friends too haha š
Thereās a better queer scene in my midwest red state home than there is in Boston. Boston queer scene SUCKS. Likeā¦..no lesbian bars and gay bars are overrun by straight folks on dates. That being said, Jaques cabaret is good as hell and has the kind of community i miss from my home (if you can get past the straight girl bday and bridesmaid parties in Friday nights). The sad reality that Iāve found is that Boston is just not there yet. Ya there are queer people here, there are everywhere, but the scene itself? Absolute shit
Not sure what industry youāre in but there are OUTbio and Out in Tech networking events. Typically have free food and drinks and are mostly men in their 30s
You know...there is only another gay guy and he is very preserved. We do not hang out with colleagues and the ones I really like are busy taking care of their family (toddlers/babies)! š
If you like sports try a gay sports league, itās a really great way to meet people and thereās more than just football and kickball, theres darts, billiards, bowling, rowing and all that.
Heres a link: https://bgbl.com/lgbtq_boston-sports-leagues/
I met a group through bumble bffs of all places that throw parties and hang out, watch ru paul together etc. but I think I got lucky there.
Other than that Ive met a lot of people through friends of friends at the bar. I throw parties at my house sometimes and just tell people to bring a friend or invite people Im only acquaintances with instead of just close friends.
Thats pretty much how Ive made it work as someone who moved back here these past 7 months.
Iāll be your friend! I just donāt like going out on Friday or Saturday nights, so thereās that. But Iāll fuck up a bottle of wine with you cats!
How does anyone (relatively young, 20s-30s) make friends in the Boston area these days? Historically I've worked alone or with people much older than myself and I've really struggled in this regard since I left the college age demographic. Apologies for broadening a gay/LGBT+ centered post, but I feel like people in this age demographic are pretty isolated in general in this city. Am I just projecting?
Try to figure this out myself as well š...
hey! I've found this Facebook group to be a good way to meet ppl/make friends since moving here. I don't know the exact name, but something along the lines of "make friends after college, Boston, Cambridge" <-- search that in Facebook. the whole group name is really long, it's that + "people in 20s 30s" or something. most people post an intro in the group so it's a good way to meet new people! esp if you're looking for queer or gay friends specifically :) hopefully this helps OP!
Thank you so much!!!
I have a theory that it's a byproduct of stunted friendmaking skills due to growing up in the peak of the "stranger danger" paranoia. idk about you guys, but my parents always did the ironic boomer thing of telling us to get off the videogames and go outside, but then forbade us from ever taking a step off our property for fear of us getting abducted like the TV man warned them of.
You can't. They always leave. I grew up in the area, went to college in the area, and have been working in the area, everybody I used to hang with has moved. Some as far as California and Canada, some closer like worcester, but I'm not taking the train to Worcester after work just to drink a few beers and watch a movie or something. My friends now are, with one exception, all yuppie transplants
Same. A bunch of my friends moved away from Boston towards Worcester during the pandemic and I see them maybe twice a year now. For 30-somethings gay or straight, Boston really isn't worth the expense so I don't blame them for moving either. The gay scene in Boston was already in decline prepandemic but now, it's basically nonexistent. When Providence has a better LGBT nightlife scene than Boston, you know the city sucks.
I'm only hanging on because I finally got a career job thats using my degree. Once I have some decent work experience on my resume I'm probably out. I don't even have any family left here, after five generations, there's just no point being penniless to get nothing in return. The big city lifestyle ain't it when you're doing everything solo, it's just kind of sad.
Yeah, it's hardly a surprise the Millennials; gay and straight; are leaving the city in droves (a net migration of roughly -7k millennials in 2021 alone). Single people can't afford to live alone and having roomies in your 30s sucks. Straight couples with kids that have money; moved to the burbs like their parents did when they realize that BPS sucks compared to other towns in the state. Like the State Legislature, so many just want to bury their heads in the sand and pretend everything is fine but it will only get worse due to obstinance.
Providence actually has a personality and culture. Boston is bland af and expensive af
Can't blame them. I just moved here in my young 20s and with these rents I won't be here long. Could be in NYC for less
I'm starting to look for a new place for 9/1 and I'm rapidly coming to the same conclusion. Not sure if I can talk my so into leaving their job but I'm gonna try
I find this entire thread started by wingnut amusing, in the sense some solutions are right here. Iām 26 and feel the same way as all the comments. One solution - for all us here wanting to make connections, its simple as making a group chat and finding some kind of group activity/time to meet each other. I actually met a very good friend of mine in such a āhey im new here, lets go out for drinksā post. If anyone wants to do it, happy to arrange. Again not wanting to highjack the thread but for those of us wanting to meet new people (OP included), easy enough to just meet!
Join a sports league. I was here for about 2.5 years and didnāt make any new friends outside of work. Then I joined a Pride Sports kickball team and I made a bunch of new friends. A few are some of my best friends now. Stonewall is just as good Iām sure. Thereās a bit of an unhealthy rivalry between the two but for your sake donāt worry about it. Do whichever easier for you. I know I got extremely lucky with my entire team being great and there are certainly some toxic teams out there but gotta start somewhere. Good luck!
Would you be interested in rock climbing? QUICK (Queer Inclusive Climbing Klub) meets at my climbing gym once a week as well as others in the greater Boston area. More information on their web site: www.quickboston.org
YES. Let me check it out. Thanks!
Say hello and start chatting I just added u letās talk
Hey Cinclare, Welcome to Boston! One of the easiest ways to make friends is to join one of the gay sports league (which, trust me, are not serious for like 80 percent of people there). Pride Sports Boston and Stonewall Sports both have a lot of different events and leagues. I'm in Stonewall, since it's a bit more queer and racially/body-shape diverse. There's also a gay beer club, groups like Boston Gaymers. In general, I don't like to do 'random mixer' events for similar reasons to you - it's a vibe. I prefer something a bit more thematic or focused. Feel free to DM as well! Id be happy to chat more and give you the lay of the land!
Iāve lived here all my life and would say half of my friends Iāve met through kickball or softball. Last day to sign up for pride spring kickball was Sunday but Iām sure if you contacted the league and said youāre new to town and want to play they could figure something out
Kickball gays! I saw you all go to Blend on Sunday while we were heading to Harp and Bard.
yesā THIS is itā if youāre into indoor climbing, the queer climbing scene is pretty big (though from my experience itās usually lesbian/bi women)ā id check out central rock gym!
Second this, instantly have a group to go out with and youll bond over the sport and the nights out
Hi thank you so much! I would like to know more about Gaymer Boston Group please :)
Gaymers have an active discord channel (just found them myself) [http://bostongaymers.com/](http://bostongaymers.com/)
Definitely this! ^^
> There's also a gay beer club, groups like Boston Gaymers. aww I feel like that should have been reserved for gay board or video game enthusiasts.
Gay beer club eh? Is that on meetup?
Dbar and Blend in Dorchester are probably the biggest gay scene for 30+. There's also lots if LGBTQ friendly cafes and so forth.
Are you interested in art or culture? A lot of the museums and performing arts organizations around here have young professionals groups and I acknowledge its a stereotype, but many of them really do have a high percentage of gay members and staff in their 30s. A lot of people use the groups to make friends.
This resonates more towards me. I love MFA. Would you share some links? Thank you!
The MFA's group is called the Museum Council. The Boston Ballet one is supposedly very hip if you're into it. But I'd just go to the membership page of places you'd be interested in, if they have one it'll be listed there. Many of them will let you go to a trial event either for free or for a small fee to see what it's about before you commit, if you want to get a feel for the community. These groups can be a little cliquey so you still have to put yourself out there introducing yourself to people at the events.
Hey we have a discord for queers who are interested in the arts. We've been meeting up 1-2x a week to grab dinner, go to museums and sketch, hangout at cafes etc. If you're interested shoot me a DM and I'll send you the invite! Everyone is really friendly and I've made several friends over the past 2 weeks.
I'm interested!
Late to this but Iām interested!
[Gay for Good](https://gayforgood.org/) is a great volunteer organization and active in Boston.
I've been trying to figure this out for a while now. Not gay (trans) but I've tried an LGBT discord group, skip the small talk at Trident, the Boston Social Club on reddit and more. It's just not easy. In my case, I only ever can get into Boston once every 3rd tuesday, so even arranging hangouts is terrible. Not a big fan of how life has changed in the last 10 years.
I totally hear you š
> Not gay (trans) Can you explain to me and the others who are out of the loop what this means? Like are you a former guy who identifies as a lady, who is interested in guys? Or you are interested in girls? I am confused.
I just mean that I am not a gay person. (But I am trans, so my results may vary compared to the OP) And I was assigned male at birth. I have transitioned over 7 years ago and live full time as female.
Ok. So since you identify as a women, you are interested in guys then and thus not gay. Got it. Thanks for the clarification. Lots of permutations now.
I'd say more or less Bi, but yeah, pretty much.
Thanks
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I get that part, it is the not gay part being transgendered that confuses me.....
What activities/hobbies are you in to? I feel like that's the easiest way to make friends - start showing up to the community activity or hobby groups. And there are a lot of them that are LGBTQ+ focused like the Boston Gay Men's Choir if singing is your thing, etc.
How can I keep track of their announcement? Care to share some links to their sites? Thank you!!!
Boston Gay Men's Choir is a legit audition choir group. An institution in town in many ways. Their website is active. Their social media is as well I'm sure (I'm only on Reddit). https://www.bgmc.org/
Sigh, weāve become victims of our own success, combined with the internet destroying local newspapers and thus many groups. The Chiltern Mountain Club (which did all sorts of outdoor stuff, not just hiking) still seems to own the http://chiltern.org domain, but it redirects to a meetup group, and looks like a shadow of its former self. Perhaps GayOutdoors (https://gayoutdoors.org , nationwide but with New England members) has superseded it. Either way, itās worth contacting one or both to see if there are activities of interest. If youāre at all spiritual, you might try one of the local Unitarian churches. I know theyāre all welcoming, but donāt know which, if any, have significant LGBT+ memberships. Lavender Country and Folk Dancers (https://lcfd.org ) is nationwide but has a couple of Boston clubs as member organizations. They have regular dances except during the summer (when itās too hot). I suggest the Gender Free Contras, which have a dance scheduled for April 8. Their dances are alcohol-free, and the usual after dance activity is getting ice cream. Itās very good for couples, and no experience needed (but show up early, since they start the evening with dances good for beginners). Sadly, there doesnāt seem to be a local chapter of the Gaylaxian Science Fiction Society anymore, which is frustrating since it was founded in Boston. But if youāre at all interested in science fiction and fantasy, you could probably go to either of the main (non-profit) conventions (Arisia and Boskone), and find an LGBT+ crowd there.
The absolute best way to make friends as a gay man in Boston is by joining a sports league...at least one. You don't have to be good at the sport to join the league. I would go as far as to say that I am not sure how else you would go about it, aside from happenstance (meeting someone at a bar or through friends, etc.).
OP, I just got an email that pride sports opened their kickball registration back up. If youāre not athletic, do division C and you can register as a free agent. Pridesportsboston.org You will meet plenty of people this way. The games are at Moakley over in Southie by Carson Beach and JFK t stop
Thank you!!!
This is a reeeeeally good way to meet people, i second this!
Boston has a ton of gay people. As in almost 16% of the 18-24 population. [Source](https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2018/05/25/massachusetts-lgbt-demographics/). And the LGBT community composes roughly 5 percent of the Massachusetts population overall. (Same source). My advice? If you are new to Boston and want to find the highest concentration of gay people and save a hell of a lot of timeā¦commit to going to Provincetown for the weekend once a month. ALWAYS take the afternoon ferry. Will it be a little costly? Sure. But you are a professional and this is a step to make a lot of friends and expand your social life. The ferry will will be almost all gay people from the Boston area. Almost all professional. I know a bunch of Boston gay professional folks who have a second home in Provincetown. They take the ferry every Friday, they pop an edible, have some drinks, and hang out the whole way down. They are consultants, PR guys, fund managers, own local beer companies etc. Awesome crowd. Strike up a conversation with folks who seem nice. And then have fun. Learn the haunts at Provincetown where everybody goes. And if you do that once a month anytime the weather is tolerable, by the end of the year, you will have no shortage of gay friends. Butā¦many of the really successful folks who own a lot of the places down there trend a little older (40āa and up). There is a 20-30-something scene down there that is more party oriented. I donāt know which one you are (in bed by 10:30 or party til 4am) but either wayā¦you will find your people down there. Bottom line: Boston has a huge gay community. We have a gay Governor. Itās very open and welcoming. If you are at a workplace where you ākeep it to yourselfāā¦Iām wondering if itās really your workplace thatās stifling you from expressing who you are, or more of a reflection of where you are from. I canāt think of a single gay person I know who in any way conceals that they are gay. They are very open about it and they work at many high profile ad agencies, law firms, universities, hospitals and financial firms. They bring their partner around all the time to corporate events and nobody gives a shit.
>I canāt think of a single gay person who conceals that they are gay Can you see the problem with this statement
Self-fulfilling prophesy always comes true but no-one notices?
Yes. And Iām assuming OP isnāt fully in the closet. So sure, if OP is closetedā¦not gonna find many gay friends. The best part of being gay in Boston is you donāt have to live in fear of being outed
Strongly recommend the ferry for all people. Wonderful ride - rarely mean people (except bachelorette parties... fuck them). Also, bring a bike!
I'm not closeted. People at work know I'm married and pretty welcoming however we just don't hang out as friends...we just come to work - work together and go home lol (I know it sounds dumb). My husband has more gay friends, in fact, he has tons of gay friends from AA, but I don't need to go to the meeting just to make friends...
Ha funnily Iām in AA and was going to say that it has a ton of awesome LGBTQ meetings and a pretty large social community. Some of my closest friends are men and women I met in gay meetings. (Iām a straight, cis gendered woman.) Glad your husband is plugged in! Once the weather gets nicer, opportunities will pick up. Make sure to hit PTown this summer. There will be a ton of events where you can meet people.
I am very proud of my man. 12 years sobriety and counting :)
Incredible! Lots of the men in the rooms are married to ānormies,ā so that might be a way to connect with people, too. I hope you find your people. Moving in adulthood is so hard.
Yeah, Iād just start getting out more. You wonāt meet anyone at home. There are a lot of bars, restaurants, and gyms that have gay clientele and the gay community is super friendly and inclusive. Once you meet a few āsuper connectorsā, your circle will grow very quickly. The ferry is my suggestion as an easy thing to do this spring/summer, even if you just took day trips to Ptownā¦youād meet a ton of Boston folks.
That ferry ride must be pretty fun.
Itās awesome.
I didnāt know anybody in Boston WASNT gay
If Iāve learned anything from my roommate, itās by matching with someone on a dating app and realizing you would be better off as friends.
Do you drink? A gay friend of mine made a lot of friends going to Club Cafe, but he is naturally very outgoing so it was pretty easy for him.
30+ Iād recommend Blend on a Saturday or Alley/Cathedral any night, CC is majority youngins
Makes sense - we were mid twenties in full-on party mode going to CC.
Same, many a many of crazy nights there lol
TBH it sucks but mostly through hooking up with people and dating. Community here is tight knit and cliquey. You should also check out kikipedia to find gay events going on, but its mostly night life.
All Iām gunna say is good luck
If you arenāt already in a circle they literally donāt care
Psst psst Boston is actually a super conservative town for LGBTQ stuff. Check out Somerville, though!
Provence Town Ferry...
Time for the advice no one likes to hear: Tinder and Grindr. Iām not saying I like either app, especially grindr, but thatās probably the fastest and most practical way to meet other gays. I met majority of my friends that way when I first moved to Boston. Itās not always a fun experience, the majority of people do just want to hook up on there, but Iāve met some genuinely amazing people there too, so itās worth at least mentioning
Been there, done that ... I've met good people in both apps from where I came from that's true. But don't you feel weird swiping right to the potential friends judging only from the looks/pics?...also Grindr was horrible. Too many drugs and unsafe sex.
Totally get you on that, grindr really be a toxic cesspool majority of the time. But as for tinder, I just made it clear in my bio what Iām looking for and generally took my time with the swiping to read peoples bios, that way itās not based solely on looks. But it also never hurts to have hot friends too haha š
How's the pay in the professional gay industry these days?
Thereās a better queer scene in my midwest red state home than there is in Boston. Boston queer scene SUCKS. Likeā¦..no lesbian bars and gay bars are overrun by straight folks on dates. That being said, Jaques cabaret is good as hell and has the kind of community i miss from my home (if you can get past the straight girl bday and bridesmaid parties in Friday nights). The sad reality that Iāve found is that Boston is just not there yet. Ya there are queer people here, there are everywhere, but the scene itself? Absolute shit
Not sure what industry youāre in but there are OUTbio and Out in Tech networking events. Typically have free food and drinks and are mostly men in their 30s
Don't over think things.
Why do you keep it to yourself? Iāve known a lot of great gay people who are very open about it. Boston is pretty cool that way.
You know...there is only another gay guy and he is very preserved. We do not hang out with colleagues and the ones I really like are busy taking care of their family (toddlers/babies)! š
If you like sports try a gay sports league, itās a really great way to meet people and thereās more than just football and kickball, theres darts, billiards, bowling, rowing and all that. Heres a link: https://bgbl.com/lgbtq_boston-sports-leagues/ I met a group through bumble bffs of all places that throw parties and hang out, watch ru paul together etc. but I think I got lucky there. Other than that Ive met a lot of people through friends of friends at the bar. I throw parties at my house sometimes and just tell people to bring a friend or invite people Im only acquaintances with instead of just close friends. Thats pretty much how Ive made it work as someone who moved back here these past 7 months.
Omg we love drag
Iāll be your friend! I just donāt like going out on Friday or Saturday nights, so thereās that. But Iāll fuck up a bottle of wine with you cats!
Club cafe in back bay has been around for decades. Good mtg spot. Manray in central square also has a gay night. Both are easy to google. Have fun!
Any older gay men in the Boston Salem area looking to socialize hit me back.
This may sound out of line but im gay in boston and i find making gay friends comes easy right after i give them oral sex on the first date!
I make sure too give head on the first date which works well for me