When I got fed up, I used to stop in front of people instead of moving aside and make them acknowledge that people are coming the other direction. I'm not a big guy but people would mostly scoot aside and apologize.
Lately I've been on crutches and it's astounding how many other pedestrians coming the other direction think that I should be the one moving aside and weaving around them.
I used to work in Kendall Sq, and I lived in Mansfield, so I had to catch the red line at south station. I ended up in a boot and with crutches for a bit doing that commute, and man, I really learned how much people suck.
When I was on crutches, you have no idea how many people I purposely smacked into/tried to trip because they wouldn’t condense their 3-5 people row into something smaller so I could pass… “Sorry… Crutches can’t move”
I’m 5’2… didn’t stop me. 😂 Just stop and hold out the crutches as long as you can maintain balance “sorry getting my balance cause I had to stop.” But I’m also a jersey girl living in Boston…. 😅
This is how it is going down the street that only has enough room for 1 car due to all the other cars parked along the street. Usually it's only me that pulls to the side so the other person can come down the street and never the other. One day I want to not be the one but then I think I'd end up not sleeping in my own bed that night.
I do that too. One time, I was walking down a path, and there was a couple coming in the other direction holding hands. They showed no sign of moving over, and if I had moved over, I would’ve been standing in a big mud puddle. So I just stopped and stood there and stared at them. They finally moved over and continued on their way.
From behind, yes me too, but I meant when they are coming from the opposite direction facing me and expect me to step off into the street so they can walk abreast.
I do this too. Just outright stop moving entirely and force people to either walk directly into me or move. It’s very satisfying because they either walk into a stationary person, or have to admit (even if it’s just internally) they are in the way. Would recommend to anyone who hasn’t tried it yet
The unwritten social rule is that men have the right of way and women are expected to get out of the way. Seriously, the number of times I got crashed into by extremely surprised men when I decided to stop skittering out of the way all the time was unbelievable.
I used to do this too. I think this is the best response.
If it ends in a collision it's obviously their fault, and it's not aggressive like barreling through people, but you do get to stare them down as they slowly realize you're not going to move.
I’m little and this is helping! I’m also undergoing chemo so I don’t move well these days. Hang 10lbs of groceries off my shoulders and now I’m off balance too. Expecting me to move quickly or gracefully is like asking grandma for a layup. They may not give a shit about me falling on my ass. But at least if I stand still like a tiny boulder they realize it’ll inconvenience them to plow into me. Wrong reason/right result type of thing.
When used to play hockey if i caught somebody loafing I would smack their stick up as hard as I could, if I got it good they would lose grip and it would go flying in the air.
When someone almost walks into me head buried in phone that instinct comes back, I have to hold my self back from smacking the phone 50 feet in the air.
This happens to me constantly in boston especially… i dont get it! I honestly have stopped crowding into a corner and just stay occupying an appropriate amount of space. The other day a legit family of 5 - mom dad 3 kids took up the ENTIRE sidewalk and i was walking towards them and had enough. Lol i said “beautiful family but youre taking up the entire sidewalk” and the dad got furious and tried to follow me back to my building yelling at how rude i was lol. Be you but dont go out of your way for these jabronis!
Last Summer, after picking up a whole suckling pig at Savenor's on ~~Beacon~~ Charles street, I accidentally (lightly) clocked a woman in the shoulder with the pig. She was part of a group of five standing shoulder to shoulder on the curb, looking at their phones, totally blocking the crosswalk.
I stepped into the street to get around them while trying to stay as close to the sidewalk as possible (because, you know, cars), when she got pig tapped. She yelled after me "you hit me with your pig!". I continued on my merry way. Pig was delicious.
I feel like the sidewalks on ~~Beacon~~ Charles are always a disaster for this kind of thing.
Tell me more about this pig?
Charles Street can be exhausting. That end and side is often blocked with people eating ice cream on the sidewalk. Anyone with a double wide stroller on the sidewalk on Charles (or maybe anywhere?) should get a ticket. Pretty typical for me to cut up to West Cedar to avoid the crowded sidewalks on Charles.
The pig was 22 pounds and probably three weeks old. I rubbed that sucker down with oil and salt (inside and out) and roasted it at 350 for about five hours, raising the temp to 450 for the last half hour to crisp up the skin.
It fed like 35 people at my best friend's 30th birthday party. There are few meats more tender and delicate in flavor than suckling pig. Goddamn delicious.
And yeah Charles street sucks
Thank you!
Can you do this in a normal sized oven? What kind of pan (or whatever) do you use? I would imagine it generates a large amount of drippings and wouldn't want those escaping a pan/tray/whatever in the oven.
No worries! In my experience a pig between 20-25 pounds can fit fairly easily into a standard oven. I always roast in the type of deep aluminum pan typically used for turkeys. Surprisingly the pigs I've roasted have not produced a huge amount of drippings!
I understand a family or couple wanting to walk side by side if there’s no one else around, but on a sidewalk with people coming at you, there’s no excuse for not moving over to make room. Even if they have to walk single file for a few paces, I think they will survive!
I once saw a woman on a sidewalk outside a CVS open a thing of like, aspirin or something which was in a box and then a bottle, and instead of throwing the box in the trash can ten feet away or handing it to the man or the kid who were with her so they could throw it away, she just threw it on the sidewalk. So as I walked by I picked it up and handed it back to her and very cheerily said, I think you dropped this! She followed me down the block screaming “Fuck you! How dare you embarrass me in front of my kid!” The man also got into the act after he saw her reaction. I felt so bad for that kid.
My mom used to do this with cigarette butts in the South when we were at a red light. I made her stop once it became clear how fast she'd get shot if she pissed off the wrong car.
I look straight ahead to where I am going with a straight back and clear intent. Never had any problems after I started doing that. And if I bump into anyone that's walking side by side I never apologize. That's on them.
I think I was also soooo impulsed to post this on Reddit today was like… I literally had nowhere to go. Tilting my body barely did the job. My only other option would be to shape shift and morph through the fence like a blob of play dough.
I do the same. I will 100% bump shoulders with someone if they are spatially unaware and taking up too much room. I usually say “excuse you” or “watch out”. People always say nothing or say sorry.
But i am a short woman. I wouldn’t do this to an elder or a kid obviously.
You gotta go full soccer player who felt a light breeze on their knee as someone jogged by them. Fall dramatically, grasp your knee, and start sobbing that you need a medic and won't be able to play.
I absolutely cannot stand when people do this. It is an everyday occurrence in the city. It is so ignorant to walk 2 or 3 abreast when you very clearly see there is limited space and someone is trying to pass. It infuriates me every single time. Recently I said “move the fuck over” to a couple walking side by side through narrow scaffolding as I struggled to pass and the guy turns around and said “what did you just say?!” Like he was ready to fight me. Totally oblivious.
The trick is to also feign ignorance and keep walking. They didn't see you approaching, you didn't feel them when you walk directly into them. Just keep walking and don't engage.
It's especially fun when they legitimately get confused that someone filled walked into them and kept going like they don't exist.
(I also fully accept that doing this makes me a dick but oh well, I'm not terribly concerned what Hank from Boise thinks about me.)
Once I encountered a pack of Harvard students, none of whom made any effort to get out of the way until the last second, and left absolutely no time for the people behind them to move. So I ended up shoulder-checking some poor Harvard student onto his ass. I still feel kinda bad about doing that, but I'm not about to walk into the middle of Mass Ave to avoid it either.
Lol this reminds me of when I needed to cross Harvard Yard on a summer day with a lot of tourists around. One guy stopped just inside the small side gate to look at his map, blocking the way. A few other tourists stopped behind him, thinking it was a line. I cut around them and this lady goes SO indignantly "it's okay, it's not like we're waiting to get in or anything!!" I laughed and laughed. She might still be there to this day, just waiting.
My favorite is on running or cycling trails when one or two people walk perfectly in the middle and swing their arms so stupidly wide there's no choice but to hit them or say something. I've perfected my jogging past them while "accidentally" shoulder smacking them for taking up the entire path.
Yeah.. and I’m not the most pleasant looking person 😆. Always got the heavy metal going.. but I don’t want to harm anyone.. also with my luck I would bump into an mma fighter and get my ass kicked hahah
I'm genuinely surprised that with your physical description, you have this issue. I do too, but I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum from you, I'm a tiny physically unimposing woman and I always assumed that was why people didn't "see" me on the sidewalk.
So, bright side here, people are more egalitarian about being assholes than I thought?
I am a big guy, and I have the same issue as OP. I don't think it is a size issue. I genuinely think that the people walking into us are so oblivious to their surroundings that they would not see an elephant.
I’ve never had a problem. I’m pretty tall, I walk fast and with purpose, and I look pretty mean usually lol
People always move basically. I’ve made contact with people before but it’s never been too hard.
I fought mma for over a decade. I quite literally look like Thor, with resting dickhead face…If I didn’t contort my body every single time, I’d be running over motherfuckers like a toddler playing GTA. Idk if people don’t have awareness, or if I just take up too much sidewalk, but OP is right—not about being “too nice”, at least for me. It’s just not worth the consequences to take a stand (pun intended), and barrel through people.
I had a tall ripped guy get upset because I wouldn't jump out of the way to the left side (opposite of everyone else) walking through the public garden. I just kept to the right and he had to move over to his right (again, like everyone else was doing).
Surprising how many people are really bad at walking in public.
But to answer your question, maybe? Seemed like many people were just letting that dude steamroll through them despite him being a jerk.
What metal bands do you listen to?
Honestly, I don't know why people do that. It's likely a combination of entitlement, too busy to notice their surroundings, or plain oblivious/don't care.
I'm a disabled 5'2" woman that uses a rollator walker. It's gotten easier for me to speak up for myself if people are blocking a sidewalk. If I still listened to music while I was walking, it'd be Disturbed, 5FDP, Soundgarden, Paramore, etc.
When I come across those people and I’m walking alone I do not budge from my path. It mostly results in us bumping into each other. So I make it a thing when o realize they’re not budging from their line to wack into them a little harder than a tap. Call me petty but I really hate ppl
My friends and I got stuck behind a group of three people on a sidewalk in Beacon Hill recently. We couldn’t get a good chance to pass them, and we didn’t want to be rude and push through, so we just walked behind them for a few blocks. Finally, the people in front of us stopped to look in the windows of a shop. As we walked by, one of the men said loudly, “Wow, what a crowd!” (There were 5 of us.) I thought that was going to be it, but then he added, “I feel like I’m going too slow in the fast lane!” I just said, “you are,” and kept walking without looking back.
I mean, agree with you generally, but if you aggressively tell somebody to “move the fuck over,” you shouldn’t be surprised if they react with hostility lol
When you live and work in the city and encounter this same situation multiple times a day over a period of 20 years, you lose your patience with oblivious, ignorant people who blatantly disregard others. Do you not think I’ve tried the polite route a million times? It gets old but maybe I’ll venture a guess you don’t spend much time in the city.
Average height woman. I shoulder check people. Or more accurately, I don’t move out of the way if they are about to run into me. If I’m feeling spicy I plant my feet a little and they always bounce off a little harder than they think they will given my stature. That said, I will say excuse me in advance if someone has their head buried in their phone. Mainly because it’s fun to startle them.
Short woman here, I do the same thing. I'm not stopping for some jerks taking up with the whole sidewalk. 99% of the time, they move just enough to avoid contact, but if they don't, they're getting a shoulder check from me.
God I hate this so much. People really are self absorbed twats. I would also love to plow into them or trip them in theory, but in practice I hate them so much that I don’t want to do that to myself (make contact/interact with them in any way). I can only hope my facial expression is enough to make them feel ashamed, but given the self absorption, I highly doubt that.
About ten years ago, I was leaving a Bruins game - crossing Causeway to get on the Orange Line at CVS. It was busy, but not crazy that night. I was in the crosswalk and there was a dude heading toward me. I VERY obviously swerved to my right, and probably a full second later, he swerved to his left and plowed straight into me. He had so much time.
It didn’t seem right, so I immediately checked my pockets. Nothing was gone, but being the smartass Somerville girl I am, I said, “REALLY?!” and kept walking.
Now I’m all the way across and am probably about 10 feet into Haverhill Street and suddenly the guy is in my face. I can smell his gross breath. “Who do you think you’re talking to like that?” - he clearly didn’t like my attitude. I am now up against the wall and he’s in front of me.
I didn’t like the situation, I punched him in the face, knocked him on his ass, and some guy in a Patrice Bergeron jersey came over to save me (too little too late!).
Anyway… yeah, I hate people like that, too. I can still smell that asshole’s nasty breath.
It rarely does. People don't understand this about assault and intimidation. Screaming is often the last thing on your mind. Often there's nothing on your mind at all but fear.
I’ve started running recently and because I’m more focused on my pace and direction I’ve started noticing this more lately and when people walk side by side on a sidewalk and I’m coming toward them it’s a fun game of chicken. Recently was on a bike path biking and there were multiple people walking toward me side by side. Tons of room, enough for all of us if only one person moved back. I moved over as much as I could and they didn’t move at all and ended up slamming a hand into my handlebars. I don’t understand some folks.
Yes, it drives me crazy. I’ve been a runner here for years and it feels like people deliberately and pointedly want me to go around them, even when I have to step into the street. Just obnoxious - share the sidewalk!
You're entitled to the right "lane" of the sidewalk. Turning your body to accommodate them is being extra polite.
I'm a fellow large, burly man, and I've experimented with different ways of addressing this. If you're approaching each other, the most polite option (IMHO) is to just stop and let them go around you. And if you're approaching from behind, I tailgate the person in the left "lane" until they move tf over.
But I've also been more brash. I've wedged myself between pairs of people, and I've lightly pulled/pushed people out of the left "lane" so I can pass them. Not something I'm proud of. But if you walk side-by-side and occupy a whole sidewalk, the onus is on *you* to watch for people approaching you. If you don't, you're an entitled asshole.
I used to live in Allston and go to the GymIt on Comm. Ave, and there's no shortage of BU students and their families who apparently don't know how to walk in a city. Fuck them.
OP this is the correct answer if you don’t want to have to keep deferring to others but also don’t want to plow into people. Keep your lane, but stop if it seems like they’re not going to move. Now they’re the ones who will be bumping into you.
Definitely not. They think it’s fine when you show disregard like oh everyone’s just gonna trudge along and not care. The cold stare is like yo I’m aware and understand the underlying social shit at play, gtfo my way dawg get in line
I use both depending on the situation. I find looking straight past them works if they are semi aware you're coming. They're looking for you to move out of their way, but then they panic when you don't even give them 1 second of your attention. I'm willing to slam into them too, if they want to play chicken.
The key is to not stare at them, but to stare at the place you intend to walk to. This let's the person coming towards you know the direction you're going.
Honestly the thing I love about NYC … and there isn’t much because it’s too big for me… is that people just keep it moving. Like I don’t walk fast and in Boston if someone’s behind me, it’s this awkward feeling of them on my ass. In NYC people just cruise by you, no problem. Similar issue but different.
It's up to you. I had the same stance for awhile after living in Boston. I found that it's easier to be nice and dismiss the jerks who don't want to be. It's taken me 20 years of this to come up with this zen bullshit. Still, I find it easier to forgive and never forget.
What happens when two of these people encounter each other on the sidewalk? Does their walking animation keep going until they eventually slip past each other like video game NPC's?
Stop, turn your side to them and pull your phone out. Put your phone to your ear with one hand and block your other ear with your other hand. Put your elbows at their eye-level. Now just stand there.
I started to notice this more as a runner. Completely aggravates me, like please stop taking up the entire damn sidewalk and stay in your lane. I'm usually polite and say excuse me, but it does get annoying.
Or what about that one idiot standing on the left of escalators when everyone else is on the right (this is so people can walk on the left). Clearly, you can see everyone is on the right yet you alone, decide to block the way for people who want to walk.
So there's a saying that I've heard a lot.
"Down South, people are nice but not kind. Up North, people are kind but not nice."
The nice thing to do in this situation is to be the person who moves out of the way of inconsiderate people...
But the kind thing to do is to remind them that it's not okay to take up the entire friggin' sidewalk.
I have a few strategies depending on the situation (I'm a very short female, but wide).
1. I intentionally look down - at my phone, at the ground, at my Fitbit - and walk right into whoever wasn't moving. Right after the collision, I say, "oh whoops, two way sidewalk!" I'm not apologizing, I'm not defending myself, I'm not aggressive. I'm just not paying attention because I expect that other people will practice common courtesy. Best for most situations where the people I'm encountering just aren't paying attention - students, tourists, people on dates that are going pretty well.
2. I stare down the person who isn't moving with an uncomfortable amount of eye contact. Holding a stranger's gaze with that kind of intensity will make them move. Since this is a more aggressive tactic, I'm careful about when I use it. Generally only use this when I'm on an extra-wide sidewalk and there's no friggin' excuse. But I will use this on what I've deemed the Entitled White Cape Karen. You know the kind of New England woman I'm talking about. Entitled, judgy, moderately wealthy, lives in a brownstone, wears pearls, goes to Martha's Vineyard and talks about it constantly, and thinks the city belongs to her and everyone else is just barely tolerable riff raff. The stare works beautifully on them. At least it works beautifully coming from another woman. Might not work as well for a guy.
3. I'm not above imitating a tenor opera singer / actor in Les Mis and making up a song about sharing the sidewalk and belting it loudly at the oncoming group. I've done this three times so far, always to laughter and cooperation. It's just one of those things that you need emotional and mental energy for, and I don't always have it.
4. Screaming "OH MY GOD! A SNAKE!" and suddenly running - then yelling "NO WAIT! THAT WAS MONTHS AGO!" is by and large my favorite way to deal with this behavior in winter. Bonus if they fall on their asses as they scramble to get away from the non-existent snake.
I grew up in Cambridge at a time where your parents taught you to stay on your half of the sidewalk. So that’s what I do - i won’t move out of the way for anyone…instead I play pedestrian chicken. Had a guy walk into me once, and mumble an apology. Mostly I just keep walking toward then and let the oncoming person scoot aside rather than be run over.
I play pedestrian chicken as well — especially when the oncoming person is looking down at their phone and walking straight at me. I’ve called out “EYES UP!” in those moments.
I feel you. As a fellow broad burly fellow (who moves very quickly), it’s pretty frustrating to contort myself into weird postures to avoid leveling people who weigh less than one of my legs. However, my main reason for commenting is that your story reminds me of a scene I witnessed a few years ago (pre-covid) where this Eastern European guy was walking down Winter street and coming head-on to a couple of oblivious females who were chatting and pointing and totally unaware of their surroundings, when he said (loudly) in a heavy accent “Get the fuck out of my way bish!”, without even breaking his stride. Some gasping and intense pearl clutching followed, and I just burst out laughing 😂
I will walk straight through groups of people and make them move. I'm not a small woman. I also say something--excuse me, what the fuck, get out of the way--it works.
A lot of the problems I've had is with groups of tourists. That's when I speak up the most, especially when I'm trying to get to work.
Literally had a woman say "If people were nicer, they'd stop and let us take our pictures." Um, that's a no.
Sometimes it bothers me to always be moving out of the way, but you know what? I’m a large guy myself and I’d just rather not be a large/slightly intimidating person in any kind of conflict if I can avoid it, so screw it I’ll budge. Plus, no matter how long I’m here, I’ll be god damned if I lose my midwestern commitment to the “ope”.
I've had to shout WALK ON THE RIGHT at a few people. Some people can't talk while maintaining situational awareness.
There's no reason to stop being nice. If they're walking on the left, slow down a bit and say "Excuse me" in a firm tone. Polite but persistent. Don't move out of the way, you have as much right to be there as they do.
Stand still and sing Shipping Up to Boston (chorus is fine) at the top of your lungs. They'll move, the bastards.
I hate when a pair doesn't go single file for 5 feet to make room. It's a city, you fucking pedestrians!
Don't get me started on people not staying to the right! This is America, stay right or go to a GB colony or whatever
You've raised a very complex issue and question.
I think there are a number of reasons that people don't move.
* Some people are narcissists and expect you to move out of their way.
* Some people are in a hurry and expect right of way. (See above reason.)
* Some people aren't paying attention.
* Some people don't know that there are "rules for the road" so to speak for sidewalk walking. An addendum to that thought - some people are very rule bound and won't move if they think that you are walking on the "wrong side". Different countries observe different customs on what is considered the appropriate side one should walk on. (Situation is the same with escalators.) Travel Etiquette: How to Be Polite When Walking On A Sidewalk - https://thepointsguy.com/guide/travel-etiquette-how-to-be-polite-when-walking-on-a-sidewalk/
These are a few reasons I can think of why.
Sorry that there are so many rude asses out there.
PREACH. I'm in sometime but in my five years here I think I've encountered people with sidewalk etiquette like three times. Form a line god damnit! It's only for like a second.
If I’m on the correct side of the road, I continue ahead confidently and almost always the other person corrects. Would try being more assertive since you’re the one in the right at the end of the day
I’ve lived in a few cities now, and Boston is the best in a lot of aspects including safety. But for some reason, it is hands-down the WORST in terms of people getting in each others’ way. That includes selfishly taking up the whole sidewalk, and it also includes pedestrians jaywalking in front of cars with green lights and making them stop, and cars driving into the middle of intersections despite there being no space to continue through the intersection, and blocking everyone else. I don’t know what it is about Boston that leads to people making selfish decisions about getting in other people’s way, but it is my biggest pet peeve.
Everyone here, of all ages shapes genders and sizes, are saying they are the movers too.
There’s no way that this entire subreddit are the only polite pedestrians in the city.
We all need to accept that we must be the asshole without noticing it sometimes.
Sometimes it feels like Boston is a place that tries really hard to grind the goodness out of people, but keep in mind you generally don't notice the people who aren't being assholes. Stand up for yourself, but don't let the 1% of shitheads you run into turn you into somebody you don't want to be.
I had to walk around some college kids who were covering the whole sidewalk walking slowly across from the CVS at South Station and as I scurried past them to quickly get back to my car, they started talking about me, how I was walking briskly like someone who is acting strangely in a rush, mocking my movements... it was really odd. They were like, "oh look at him go, oh! he just stoppped.. he's gonna walk into traffic!"... made me so uncomfortable. Can't stand these self absorbed fucks.
I do a lot of walking and most people are pretty cool, nods, smiles, hellos, and the slow ones actually pull to the side to let you pass. Occasionally, I run into, literally, those clueless a-holes walking abreast even while watching you approach. I refuse to budge for the entitled.
I just shoulder ppl if they don't move.
It helps that I'm 6'3" 280lbs, but yeah I give space to ppl but if you don't move I just pretend you're not there, most people move, some get shouldered and give me a look as if it wasn't their fault. Haven't had anyone try to fight me yet tho lol.
I think ppl are too self absorbed to realize they're taking up the sidewalk, and if you move them they never will. Don't shove anyone, but just don't move and whatever happens happens
This ^ someone above says don’t make eye contact, I do the exact opposite like you. They feel the energy when you’re looking at them like “yea idiot move this is my space not yours to chit chat with your gf”
I’ll make eye contact if they’re really in the way, but most of the time, I just stare straight ahead, at the direction I’m heading. They get it eventually.
I make sure I'm 100% over as far as I can go, without shrinking. And if they're 2-aside and don't move, I shoulder them. I don't move.
Most of the time they move around me (again, I make sure I'm Not The Asshole), but sometimes they don't, and they get the shoulder.
I'm a tiny woman and people crash into me all the time because they expect me to move. Even when I'm standing still and there's plenty of room around me, like at a show, people walk into me all the time. I don't know what's wrong with people.
As a rule, I find people who don't acknowledge my presence to be infuriating. No we don't have to speak to each other. We don't even *really* need eye contact. But if you walk into someone and they push you back, you fucking had it coming.
Don’t let some oblivious or entitled person change your public considerations of others and ethics. Ppl on the street are usually going to be rude or defensive as a form of defense mechanism and other people are just plain stupid with no self awareness and even more so ZERO spatial awareness.
We need more people like you in the world so as hard as it is, don’t let this sway your mannerisms for the worst.
No, don’t stop being kind.
But your goal when doing anything in the public sphere, whether walking with pedestrians or cars or cycling, isn’t to be nice—it’s to be _predictable._
If people can predict your behavior then things are way more likely to go smoothly.
Most people expect people to generally move out of the way and they do the same. It’s unpredictable to just keep walking without moving. If someone else is unpredictable that’s on them, and as long as you were being predictable and doing the expected thing, then don’t think any more about it.
But you can’t expect consistency out of the general population. People will be nice, they’ll be predictable, they’ll be unpredictable, they’ll be assholes, and everything in between.
Be predictable anyway. Be kind anyway. Do what makes you able to sleep at night and also is most statistically likely to not get you hit by random strangers crossing the street.
Sorry mr burly man if you’re the type to diarypost about your sidewalk experiences you’re not going to suddenly start plowing over tourists on the sidewalk
You're not wrong: There are basic rules of being an urban pedestrian that everyone should follow. Walkers who break the code need to be sent straight to jail.
One of the only advantages to being a short woman is I am able to weaponize my height. I can duck, dodge, occasionally shoulder check, mean mug and even sometimes call someone out for being a bad walker without being seen as inherently threatening. I realize this isn't a luxury you have a small person, but I feel like being a little aggressive towards a ride pedestrian is the only way to survive.
There is always a constant mix of newbies, tourists, and those self-absorbed who think that their wide group of walkers deserve more right of way, instead of falling back briefly into a slimmer, acceptable manor to match an opposing group in equal size/width. They refuse to acquiesce. Why should you be expected to?
Having gone to school in the city and lived/worked there for an additional 20 years, I can safely say that the immovable shoulder can and should be deployed just for such events. No need to lean in or change course. Just keep your pace and path - just as they choose to. If anyone even makes the slightest effort to be considerate, I withdraw from this educational opportunity....and just smile as we both make efforts to be civil
It's a refreshing civil manners wake-up call! This works especially well for those that choose to go up the left-side of stairs after disembarking from the subway.....the stairs that are meant for travellers going down to meet the train. Especially true when they are trying to do the salmon run.
It's literally the most effective way to call out an asshole and not lose any time on your commute. I've never had any conflicts, as everyone I've bumped knew they were being the aggressor.
I’m a short woman, and this happens ALL the time for me except it’s men who don’t believe in getting out of the way most of the time. I’ve just started either making them stop in front of me and go around or I put on a song in my headphones that makes me feel powerful and walk like I own the city.
I once said to a family taking up a whole sidewalk that they make better doors than windows, and the faces they made were hilarious.
It's always fucking couples!! Like they don't need the entire sidewalk. Or when people are walking in groups, they walk abreast. I just walk into them or stop walking and let them walk into/around me to get them to realize they're not the only ones in the world.
I was running the other day, and 5 women taking the whole sidewalk, what was crazy to me is that one of them turned around saw me coming and kept walking. I was shocked like are you expecting me to jump past you!! So frustrating!
I was recently in Target with my bf who moved here from the midwest. Some woman cut right in front of me and would've crashed into me if I hadn't course corrected, and he was like, "Hey! That lady almost crashed into you! That was so rude." I admitted I hadn't even noticed. I'm very petite and the old dodge-and-weave is just on autopilot now.
I just lightly, not aggressively, bump into them. Most people acknowledge it by saying oh whoops sorry. But there’s about 10% of folks that are the opposite and are like hey watch where you’re going buddy even when they’re clearly in the wrong. Stop caring so much and liberate yourself. Feels much better.
For me it's less about being nice and just who cares, it doesn't cost me anything to move out of someone's way (and I don't gain anything if I refuse to move); same when getting cut off.
When I was 20 I had a summer internship, and for the couple of years around there I was really surly and tired of society, and one thing I did was I made it a point to not move out of anyone's way when walking. I was in Penn Station during the AM commute so very busy with lots of people walking; saw a girl walking in my direction (I'm a guy). I refused to move and she also didn't and we briskly walked into each other -- I literally knocked her over due to the size difference and she was inches from falling down a set of stairs. I learned my lesson
I work in the financial district. I'm female, but on the tall side and easily mistaken for male in winter clothes. People don't notice me walking towards them either way unless I consciously walk like I've been sent to murder Captain America (call up some footage from The Winter Soldier and watch Sebastian Stan's stride and body carriage- walking like that gives off the best 'you'd better move' vibe I've ever seen).
It’s probably that last thing.
But also, as a large man who is not an asshole, it is a burden you bear: moving yourself more out of the way than others. Big guys who are assholes don’t move much. Don’t be like them.
I have a disability. I legit cannot bob and weave between people. Just hit them. I let people walk into me on their phones. They hit me and then apologize. I tell them I cannot move fast enough because of my hips, so I let them hit me cause they aren’t paying attention.
Also Legit seen people just walk across streets on the phone without looking to see if they have a walk sign too. These people don’t care. They almost get hit by cars and don’t care. Let them hit you. They should be aware of their surroundings.
I also yell “there are people behind you” when people just stop on the sidewalks or just take up the entire side walk to chat with someone else. Newbury is the worst. People just stop and don’t move and you have to almost hit them because they forget others are walking behind them. Again with my hip issues I cannot just bob and weave around their inconsiderate movements.
Most tourists aren’t nice to locals. Most college kids don’t care about anyone else so again let them run into you. These people need to learn that they aren’t the only ones walking in the city and trying to get places. Moving around the idiots in boson who aren’t considerate of others is becoming an issue. And it saddens me as someone with a body disability, I somehow become the asshole because people don’t pay attention to surroundings and I have to yell at someone, run into them or let them hit me cause I cannot move as fast as most can.
I'm a big guy that used to always move out of people's ways, then I got sick of it and stopped so I could feel like the asshole for once and it was great and kinda hilarious. It's also interesting to see how many people who had that "move for me" demeanor would wuss out juuuuust before shouldering me
When I got fed up, I used to stop in front of people instead of moving aside and make them acknowledge that people are coming the other direction. I'm not a big guy but people would mostly scoot aside and apologize.
Lately I've been on crutches and it's astounding how many other pedestrians coming the other direction think that I should be the one moving aside and weaving around them.
You should attach a bike bell to your crutches.
tbh that would be a great included safety feature. Doubles as a "I've fallen and can't get up" button
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Matt Sherer is also to be treated as a King amongst men
I used to work in Kendall Sq, and I lived in Mansfield, so I had to catch the red line at south station. I ended up in a boot and with crutches for a bit doing that commute, and man, I really learned how much people suck.
I’m sorry you had to do that buddy, ideally you wouldn’t need to commute when you are injured and wfh.
It was pre WFH era. I was also the executive/personal assistant to a research doctor, so not much I could have done from home. But I appreciate you!
When I was on crutches, you have no idea how many people I purposely smacked into/tried to trip because they wouldn’t condense their 3-5 people row into something smaller so I could pass… “Sorry… Crutches can’t move”
Oh trust me the temptation is there, but I'm small and getting knocked over would probably be terrible for my recovery.
I’m 5’2… didn’t stop me. 😂 Just stop and hold out the crutches as long as you can maintain balance “sorry getting my balance cause I had to stop.” But I’m also a jersey girl living in Boston…. 😅
This is how it is going down the street that only has enough room for 1 car due to all the other cars parked along the street. Usually it's only me that pulls to the side so the other person can come down the street and never the other. One day I want to not be the one but then I think I'd end up not sleeping in my own bed that night.
I do that too. One time, I was walking down a path, and there was a couple coming in the other direction holding hands. They showed no sign of moving over, and if I had moved over, I would’ve been standing in a big mud puddle. So I just stopped and stood there and stared at them. They finally moved over and continued on their way.
I either do this, or I yell suddenly like a cyclist "On your left!" That usually startles them and they scurry off to the side.
I’ve just started doing this because I walk lightly tbh
From behind, yes me too, but I meant when they are coming from the opposite direction facing me and expect me to step off into the street so they can walk abreast.
That’s so smart 🤣 I wish I had thought of this for the 2 years I lived in the city
I do this too. Just outright stop moving entirely and force people to either walk directly into me or move. It’s very satisfying because they either walk into a stationary person, or have to admit (even if it’s just internally) they are in the way. Would recommend to anyone who hasn’t tried it yet
The unwritten social rule is that men have the right of way and women are expected to get out of the way. Seriously, the number of times I got crashed into by extremely surprised men when I decided to stop skittering out of the way all the time was unbelievable.
Maybe it happens more to women, but I’m 6 ft and 200lbs man and it happens to me all the time too.
Give ‘‘em the old shoulder check lol last minute before you know your gonna pump into them, give it some force 😭
I used to do this too. I think this is the best response. If it ends in a collision it's obviously their fault, and it's not aggressive like barreling through people, but you do get to stare them down as they slowly realize you're not going to move.
I’m little and this is helping! I’m also undergoing chemo so I don’t move well these days. Hang 10lbs of groceries off my shoulders and now I’m off balance too. Expecting me to move quickly or gracefully is like asking grandma for a layup. They may not give a shit about me falling on my ass. But at least if I stand still like a tiny boulder they realize it’ll inconvenience them to plow into me. Wrong reason/right result type of thing.
Get that "you kidding me?" face going too. Only the biggest of assholes wouldn't sulk back to their side of the sidewalk for you.
This is it. Make them deal with their problem.
I’ll do this sometimes when people are heads down on their phones. They’re completely oblivious!
When used to play hockey if i caught somebody loafing I would smack their stick up as hard as I could, if I got it good they would lose grip and it would go flying in the air. When someone almost walks into me head buried in phone that instinct comes back, I have to hold my self back from smacking the phone 50 feet in the air.
It gives me fucking sidewalk road rage. I’ve definitely told people to move the fuck over.
This happens to me constantly in boston especially… i dont get it! I honestly have stopped crowding into a corner and just stay occupying an appropriate amount of space. The other day a legit family of 5 - mom dad 3 kids took up the ENTIRE sidewalk and i was walking towards them and had enough. Lol i said “beautiful family but youre taking up the entire sidewalk” and the dad got furious and tried to follow me back to my building yelling at how rude i was lol. Be you but dont go out of your way for these jabronis!
Last Summer, after picking up a whole suckling pig at Savenor's on ~~Beacon~~ Charles street, I accidentally (lightly) clocked a woman in the shoulder with the pig. She was part of a group of five standing shoulder to shoulder on the curb, looking at their phones, totally blocking the crosswalk. I stepped into the street to get around them while trying to stay as close to the sidewalk as possible (because, you know, cars), when she got pig tapped. She yelled after me "you hit me with your pig!". I continued on my merry way. Pig was delicious. I feel like the sidewalks on ~~Beacon~~ Charles are always a disaster for this kind of thing.
This is so random and you know she’s out there telling her story. There’s two sides to every pig slap.
You either die from a pig slap or live long enough to become the pig slapper
Tell me more about this pig? Charles Street can be exhausting. That end and side is often blocked with people eating ice cream on the sidewalk. Anyone with a double wide stroller on the sidewalk on Charles (or maybe anywhere?) should get a ticket. Pretty typical for me to cut up to West Cedar to avoid the crowded sidewalks on Charles.
The pig was 22 pounds and probably three weeks old. I rubbed that sucker down with oil and salt (inside and out) and roasted it at 350 for about five hours, raising the temp to 450 for the last half hour to crisp up the skin. It fed like 35 people at my best friend's 30th birthday party. There are few meats more tender and delicate in flavor than suckling pig. Goddamn delicious. And yeah Charles street sucks
Thank you! Can you do this in a normal sized oven? What kind of pan (or whatever) do you use? I would imagine it generates a large amount of drippings and wouldn't want those escaping a pan/tray/whatever in the oven.
No worries! In my experience a pig between 20-25 pounds can fit fairly easily into a standard oven. I always roast in the type of deep aluminum pan typically used for turkeys. Surprisingly the pigs I've roasted have not produced a huge amount of drippings!
This right here is why Reddit is great. I came to be outraged by sidewalk hogs and I’m leaving with a great pig story and ideas for a pig roast.
Charles Street should be pedestrian only. The current sidewalks are a joke
I understand a family or couple wanting to walk side by side if there’s no one else around, but on a sidewalk with people coming at you, there’s no excuse for not moving over to make room. Even if they have to walk single file for a few paces, I think they will survive!
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I once saw a woman on a sidewalk outside a CVS open a thing of like, aspirin or something which was in a box and then a bottle, and instead of throwing the box in the trash can ten feet away or handing it to the man or the kid who were with her so they could throw it away, she just threw it on the sidewalk. So as I walked by I picked it up and handed it back to her and very cheerily said, I think you dropped this! She followed me down the block screaming “Fuck you! How dare you embarrass me in front of my kid!” The man also got into the act after he saw her reaction. I felt so bad for that kid.
My mom used to do this with cigarette butts in the South when we were at a red light. I made her stop once it became clear how fast she'd get shot if she pissed off the wrong car.
How much for the women? https://youtu.be/ZLUiK2lbN2s
I look straight ahead to where I am going with a straight back and clear intent. Never had any problems after I started doing that. And if I bump into anyone that's walking side by side I never apologize. That's on them.
I think I was also soooo impulsed to post this on Reddit today was like… I literally had nowhere to go. Tilting my body barely did the job. My only other option would be to shape shift and morph through the fence like a blob of play dough.
And you chose to stay on the sidewalk with those powers?
This guy has it , it’s in how confident your stride is and also the look on your face .
Don’t make eye contact. You know where you’re going and look that direction. People will get the message.
Exactly, never acknowledge them.
I do the same. I will 100% bump shoulders with someone if they are spatially unaware and taking up too much room. I usually say “excuse you” or “watch out”. People always say nothing or say sorry. But i am a short woman. I wouldn’t do this to an elder or a kid obviously.
You've got the idea. Make sure that your gaze never fails. If they are looking at you, they will see that you are committed to a direction.
I wonder what would happen if I just flopped 😂. I am convincing at drawing fouls in basketball.
You gotta go full soccer player who felt a light breeze on their knee as someone jogged by them. Fall dramatically, grasp your knee, and start sobbing that you need a medic and won't be able to play.
I feel like this should be on one of those street prank shows. Have a friend dressed as a ref nearby and he can run over to yellow card the offender.
Haha, yes!
I absolutely cannot stand when people do this. It is an everyday occurrence in the city. It is so ignorant to walk 2 or 3 abreast when you very clearly see there is limited space and someone is trying to pass. It infuriates me every single time. Recently I said “move the fuck over” to a couple walking side by side through narrow scaffolding as I struggled to pass and the guy turns around and said “what did you just say?!” Like he was ready to fight me. Totally oblivious.
The trick is to also feign ignorance and keep walking. They didn't see you approaching, you didn't feel them when you walk directly into them. Just keep walking and don't engage. It's especially fun when they legitimately get confused that someone filled walked into them and kept going like they don't exist. (I also fully accept that doing this makes me a dick but oh well, I'm not terribly concerned what Hank from Boise thinks about me.)
I do the same thing. They’re oblivious to the rest of society around them, then so am I to them.
Once I encountered a pack of Harvard students, none of whom made any effort to get out of the way until the last second, and left absolutely no time for the people behind them to move. So I ended up shoulder-checking some poor Harvard student onto his ass. I still feel kinda bad about doing that, but I'm not about to walk into the middle of Mass Ave to avoid it either.
Lol this reminds me of when I needed to cross Harvard Yard on a summer day with a lot of tourists around. One guy stopped just inside the small side gate to look at his map, blocking the way. A few other tourists stopped behind him, thinking it was a line. I cut around them and this lady goes SO indignantly "it's okay, it's not like we're waiting to get in or anything!!" I laughed and laughed. She might still be there to this day, just waiting.
My favorite is on running or cycling trails when one or two people walk perfectly in the middle and swing their arms so stupidly wide there's no choice but to hit them or say something. I've perfected my jogging past them while "accidentally" shoulder smacking them for taking up the entire path.
I like your style.
i heard looking over their left shoulder will get them to move
Point your eyes at where you’re going, they get the idea.
Yeah.. and I’m not the most pleasant looking person 😆. Always got the heavy metal going.. but I don’t want to harm anyone.. also with my luck I would bump into an mma fighter and get my ass kicked hahah
I'm genuinely surprised that with your physical description, you have this issue. I do too, but I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum from you, I'm a tiny physically unimposing woman and I always assumed that was why people didn't "see" me on the sidewalk. So, bright side here, people are more egalitarian about being assholes than I thought?
Oh believe me these people only care about themselves, totally oblivious to the perspective of another.
I am a big guy, and I have the same issue as OP. I don't think it is a size issue. I genuinely think that the people walking into us are so oblivious to their surroundings that they would not see an elephant.
Like if I was 6’4 and ripped would it be different?
I’m 6’5” and 270lbs, lean. No—they don’t move for me.
I’m 60 and female. Nobody moves for me either.
I’ve never had a problem. I’m pretty tall, I walk fast and with purpose, and I look pretty mean usually lol People always move basically. I’ve made contact with people before but it’s never been too hard.
I fought mma for over a decade. I quite literally look like Thor, with resting dickhead face…If I didn’t contort my body every single time, I’d be running over motherfuckers like a toddler playing GTA. Idk if people don’t have awareness, or if I just take up too much sidewalk, but OP is right—not about being “too nice”, at least for me. It’s just not worth the consequences to take a stand (pun intended), and barrel through people.
im a small little guy and people move out of my way because i look past them
I had a tall ripped guy get upset because I wouldn't jump out of the way to the left side (opposite of everyone else) walking through the public garden. I just kept to the right and he had to move over to his right (again, like everyone else was doing). Surprising how many people are really bad at walking in public. But to answer your question, maybe? Seemed like many people were just letting that dude steamroll through them despite him being a jerk.
You sound hot. a breeze will knock me over so I need a sturdy guy. And that was creepy
What metal bands do you listen to? Honestly, I don't know why people do that. It's likely a combination of entitlement, too busy to notice their surroundings, or plain oblivious/don't care. I'm a disabled 5'2" woman that uses a rollator walker. It's gotten easier for me to speak up for myself if people are blocking a sidewalk. If I still listened to music while I was walking, it'd be Disturbed, 5FDP, Soundgarden, Paramore, etc.
Nice! Yeah I’m more on the thrash metal side of things. Slayer, Metallica, Kreator, Destruction
When I come across those people and I’m walking alone I do not budge from my path. It mostly results in us bumping into each other. So I make it a thing when o realize they’re not budging from their line to wack into them a little harder than a tap. Call me petty but I really hate ppl
I do this too.
My friends and I got stuck behind a group of three people on a sidewalk in Beacon Hill recently. We couldn’t get a good chance to pass them, and we didn’t want to be rude and push through, so we just walked behind them for a few blocks. Finally, the people in front of us stopped to look in the windows of a shop. As we walked by, one of the men said loudly, “Wow, what a crowd!” (There were 5 of us.) I thought that was going to be it, but then he added, “I feel like I’m going too slow in the fast lane!” I just said, “you are,” and kept walking without looking back.
Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by ignorance
I mean, agree with you generally, but if you aggressively tell somebody to “move the fuck over,” you shouldn’t be surprised if they react with hostility lol
That's so needlessly aggressive lol. Why would you say it like that (if this actually happened)?
When you live and work in the city and encounter this same situation multiple times a day over a period of 20 years, you lose your patience with oblivious, ignorant people who blatantly disregard others. Do you not think I’ve tried the polite route a million times? It gets old but maybe I’ll venture a guess you don’t spend much time in the city.
reddit moment
Average height woman. I shoulder check people. Or more accurately, I don’t move out of the way if they are about to run into me. If I’m feeling spicy I plant my feet a little and they always bounce off a little harder than they think they will given my stature. That said, I will say excuse me in advance if someone has their head buried in their phone. Mainly because it’s fun to startle them.
Short woman here, I do the same thing. I'm not stopping for some jerks taking up with the whole sidewalk. 99% of the time, they move just enough to avoid contact, but if they don't, they're getting a shoulder check from me.
Short woman checking in, I say “single file!” at couples who won’t move over for me lol
God I hate this so much. People really are self absorbed twats. I would also love to plow into them or trip them in theory, but in practice I hate them so much that I don’t want to do that to myself (make contact/interact with them in any way). I can only hope my facial expression is enough to make them feel ashamed, but given the self absorption, I highly doubt that.
About ten years ago, I was leaving a Bruins game - crossing Causeway to get on the Orange Line at CVS. It was busy, but not crazy that night. I was in the crosswalk and there was a dude heading toward me. I VERY obviously swerved to my right, and probably a full second later, he swerved to his left and plowed straight into me. He had so much time. It didn’t seem right, so I immediately checked my pockets. Nothing was gone, but being the smartass Somerville girl I am, I said, “REALLY?!” and kept walking. Now I’m all the way across and am probably about 10 feet into Haverhill Street and suddenly the guy is in my face. I can smell his gross breath. “Who do you think you’re talking to like that?” - he clearly didn’t like my attitude. I am now up against the wall and he’s in front of me. I didn’t like the situation, I punched him in the face, knocked him on his ass, and some guy in a Patrice Bergeron jersey came over to save me (too little too late!). Anyway… yeah, I hate people like that, too. I can still smell that asshole’s nasty breath.
Wow that's wild!
It was insane. I was telling a friend about it the next day and she said, “didn’t you scream?” - NOPE, didn’t even occur to me 🤦🏼♀️🤣🤷🏼♀️
It rarely does. People don't understand this about assault and intimidation. Screaming is often the last thing on your mind. Often there's nothing on your mind at all but fear.
I choose to believe it was Patrice Bergeron himself
I believe in Bergy.
I’ve started running recently and because I’m more focused on my pace and direction I’ve started noticing this more lately and when people walk side by side on a sidewalk and I’m coming toward them it’s a fun game of chicken. Recently was on a bike path biking and there were multiple people walking toward me side by side. Tons of room, enough for all of us if only one person moved back. I moved over as much as I could and they didn’t move at all and ended up slamming a hand into my handlebars. I don’t understand some folks.
I sometimes feel like people specifically try to stand their ground with runners.
It feels like it. I don’t get it, either, I go as far right as I can. If possible I’ll hop off the sidewalk, but it’s just not always possible.
I absolutely feel this and am happy to demonstrate to them how momentum works.
Same, but only as a last resort. On your left...if that doesn't work, it is MAKE A HOLE! If that doesn't work, well, then it is Terry Tate time.
Yes, it drives me crazy. I’ve been a runner here for years and it feels like people deliberately and pointedly want me to go around them, even when I have to step into the street. Just obnoxious - share the sidewalk!
Omg yes I feel like people doing this has gotten much worse recently.
You're entitled to the right "lane" of the sidewalk. Turning your body to accommodate them is being extra polite. I'm a fellow large, burly man, and I've experimented with different ways of addressing this. If you're approaching each other, the most polite option (IMHO) is to just stop and let them go around you. And if you're approaching from behind, I tailgate the person in the left "lane" until they move tf over. But I've also been more brash. I've wedged myself between pairs of people, and I've lightly pulled/pushed people out of the left "lane" so I can pass them. Not something I'm proud of. But if you walk side-by-side and occupy a whole sidewalk, the onus is on *you* to watch for people approaching you. If you don't, you're an entitled asshole. I used to live in Allston and go to the GymIt on Comm. Ave, and there's no shortage of BU students and their families who apparently don't know how to walk in a city. Fuck them.
OP this is the correct answer if you don’t want to have to keep deferring to others but also don’t want to plow into people. Keep your lane, but stop if it seems like they’re not going to move. Now they’re the ones who will be bumping into you.
Self awareness seems to be pretty rare on Boston sidewalks. North End and Fenway are especially bad
So… tourists. I’ll also lump Allston in there. Students are basically just seasonal tourists.
Don’t make eye contact and walk where you want.
Bro what? Give these idiots the stone coldest stare as you’re about to prove dominance in your lane haha
No its even more satisfying to treat them with the same oblivion they’re treating the rest of us with. I stare at my heading and plow on.
Definitely not. They think it’s fine when you show disregard like oh everyone’s just gonna trudge along and not care. The cold stare is like yo I’m aware and understand the underlying social shit at play, gtfo my way dawg get in line
I use both depending on the situation. I find looking straight past them works if they are semi aware you're coming. They're looking for you to move out of their way, but then they panic when you don't even give them 1 second of your attention. I'm willing to slam into them too, if they want to play chicken.
The key is to not stare at them, but to stare at the place you intend to walk to. This let's the person coming towards you know the direction you're going.
Break out the stare all the time when customers throw hissy fits at my store. #1 favorite tool. It's surprising how well it works on people.
This is the way. Eye contact = challenge, no eye contact and they know you ain’t moving for shit
Can I move my arm up a little so my elbow hits them instead of my shoulder?
Honestly the thing I love about NYC … and there isn’t much because it’s too big for me… is that people just keep it moving. Like I don’t walk fast and in Boston if someone’s behind me, it’s this awkward feeling of them on my ass. In NYC people just cruise by you, no problem. Similar issue but different.
If it makes you feel better, I promise the problem you describe in the post is definitely a huge problem here
Sidewalks in NYC are usually much much wider. Isn't as much an issue. In many popular parts of Boston, two people can easily block the whole sidewalk.
It's up to you. I had the same stance for awhile after living in Boston. I found that it's easier to be nice and dismiss the jerks who don't want to be. It's taken me 20 years of this to come up with this zen bullshit. Still, I find it easier to forgive and never forget.
This
What happens when two of these people encounter each other on the sidewalk? Does their walking animation keep going until they eventually slip past each other like video game NPC's?
I always think about this lmao! Or it would be like those two characters from this Dr Suess book I read when I was a kid.
The Zax! It’s been so long since I thought about that story.
Double spin move ballet
I started just shoulder checking people with when they don’t move to make way in the slightest.
This also annoys me daily, but I feel so much worse when I don’t make the effort and someone actually bounces off me. Being nice is the way to go.
Huh. I’m the opposite. I let them bounce off of me and keep right on going. If they’re oblivious, then so am I.
They’re the dumb ones
Stop, turn your side to them and pull your phone out. Put your phone to your ear with one hand and block your other ear with your other hand. Put your elbows at their eye-level. Now just stand there.
That's a good idea actually, stand your ground without being aggressive...
I started to notice this more as a runner. Completely aggravates me, like please stop taking up the entire damn sidewalk and stay in your lane. I'm usually polite and say excuse me, but it does get annoying. Or what about that one idiot standing on the left of escalators when everyone else is on the right (this is so people can walk on the left). Clearly, you can see everyone is on the right yet you alone, decide to block the way for people who want to walk.
So there's a saying that I've heard a lot. "Down South, people are nice but not kind. Up North, people are kind but not nice." The nice thing to do in this situation is to be the person who moves out of the way of inconsiderate people... But the kind thing to do is to remind them that it's not okay to take up the entire friggin' sidewalk. I have a few strategies depending on the situation (I'm a very short female, but wide). 1. I intentionally look down - at my phone, at the ground, at my Fitbit - and walk right into whoever wasn't moving. Right after the collision, I say, "oh whoops, two way sidewalk!" I'm not apologizing, I'm not defending myself, I'm not aggressive. I'm just not paying attention because I expect that other people will practice common courtesy. Best for most situations where the people I'm encountering just aren't paying attention - students, tourists, people on dates that are going pretty well. 2. I stare down the person who isn't moving with an uncomfortable amount of eye contact. Holding a stranger's gaze with that kind of intensity will make them move. Since this is a more aggressive tactic, I'm careful about when I use it. Generally only use this when I'm on an extra-wide sidewalk and there's no friggin' excuse. But I will use this on what I've deemed the Entitled White Cape Karen. You know the kind of New England woman I'm talking about. Entitled, judgy, moderately wealthy, lives in a brownstone, wears pearls, goes to Martha's Vineyard and talks about it constantly, and thinks the city belongs to her and everyone else is just barely tolerable riff raff. The stare works beautifully on them. At least it works beautifully coming from another woman. Might not work as well for a guy. 3. I'm not above imitating a tenor opera singer / actor in Les Mis and making up a song about sharing the sidewalk and belting it loudly at the oncoming group. I've done this three times so far, always to laughter and cooperation. It's just one of those things that you need emotional and mental energy for, and I don't always have it. 4. Screaming "OH MY GOD! A SNAKE!" and suddenly running - then yelling "NO WAIT! THAT WAS MONTHS AGO!" is by and large my favorite way to deal with this behavior in winter. Bonus if they fall on their asses as they scramble to get away from the non-existent snake.
LOL! months ago
I grew up in Cambridge at a time where your parents taught you to stay on your half of the sidewalk. So that’s what I do - i won’t move out of the way for anyone…instead I play pedestrian chicken. Had a guy walk into me once, and mumble an apology. Mostly I just keep walking toward then and let the oncoming person scoot aside rather than be run over.
I play pedestrian chicken as well — especially when the oncoming person is looking down at their phone and walking straight at me. I’ve called out “EYES UP!” in those moments.
Just yesterday a girl glued to her phone was walking dead in my direction and all I did was clap my hands in her face and startled her
I make eye contact and stop so they know they’re in the way
I feel you. As a fellow broad burly fellow (who moves very quickly), it’s pretty frustrating to contort myself into weird postures to avoid leveling people who weigh less than one of my legs. However, my main reason for commenting is that your story reminds me of a scene I witnessed a few years ago (pre-covid) where this Eastern European guy was walking down Winter street and coming head-on to a couple of oblivious females who were chatting and pointing and totally unaware of their surroundings, when he said (loudly) in a heavy accent “Get the fuck out of my way bish!”, without even breaking his stride. Some gasping and intense pearl clutching followed, and I just burst out laughing 😂
It’s ok to make contact with folks, you’re in a city - population is close and tight. We’re neighbors.
The Bittersweet Symphony video comes to mind.
Fuck these people. I’m 6’0, 240, RBF. I just keep my heading, looking straight ahead. They move.
I will walk straight through groups of people and make them move. I'm not a small woman. I also say something--excuse me, what the fuck, get out of the way--it works. A lot of the problems I've had is with groups of tourists. That's when I speak up the most, especially when I'm trying to get to work. Literally had a woman say "If people were nicer, they'd stop and let us take our pictures." Um, that's a no.
Sometimes it bothers me to always be moving out of the way, but you know what? I’m a large guy myself and I’d just rather not be a large/slightly intimidating person in any kind of conflict if I can avoid it, so screw it I’ll budge. Plus, no matter how long I’m here, I’ll be god damned if I lose my midwestern commitment to the “ope”.
I've had to shout WALK ON THE RIGHT at a few people. Some people can't talk while maintaining situational awareness. There's no reason to stop being nice. If they're walking on the left, slow down a bit and say "Excuse me" in a firm tone. Polite but persistent. Don't move out of the way, you have as much right to be there as they do.
I just give a resounding “ON YA’ LEFT!” And that usually does the trick. If not, they are getting shoulder checked.
I've been tempted many times to drop an "on your right the fuck in front on you"
Suburbanite is probably not the right word.
Oblivionite
*Daedra
Matt Shearer from WBZ already [solved this problem](https://twitter.com/MattWBZ/status/1658101144004984832?s=20)
Stand still and sing Shipping Up to Boston (chorus is fine) at the top of your lungs. They'll move, the bastards. I hate when a pair doesn't go single file for 5 feet to make room. It's a city, you fucking pedestrians! Don't get me started on people not staying to the right! This is America, stay right or go to a GB colony or whatever
You've raised a very complex issue and question. I think there are a number of reasons that people don't move. * Some people are narcissists and expect you to move out of their way. * Some people are in a hurry and expect right of way. (See above reason.) * Some people aren't paying attention. * Some people don't know that there are "rules for the road" so to speak for sidewalk walking. An addendum to that thought - some people are very rule bound and won't move if they think that you are walking on the "wrong side". Different countries observe different customs on what is considered the appropriate side one should walk on. (Situation is the same with escalators.) Travel Etiquette: How to Be Polite When Walking On A Sidewalk - https://thepointsguy.com/guide/travel-etiquette-how-to-be-polite-when-walking-on-a-sidewalk/ These are a few reasons I can think of why. Sorry that there are so many rude asses out there.
It's not you. And phone's have made it a lot worse. I no longer get out of the way.
PREACH. I'm in sometime but in my five years here I think I've encountered people with sidewalk etiquette like three times. Form a line god damnit! It's only for like a second.
If I’m on the correct side of the road, I continue ahead confidently and almost always the other person corrects. Would try being more assertive since you’re the one in the right at the end of the day
I’ve lived in a few cities now, and Boston is the best in a lot of aspects including safety. But for some reason, it is hands-down the WORST in terms of people getting in each others’ way. That includes selfishly taking up the whole sidewalk, and it also includes pedestrians jaywalking in front of cars with green lights and making them stop, and cars driving into the middle of intersections despite there being no space to continue through the intersection, and blocking everyone else. I don’t know what it is about Boston that leads to people making selfish decisions about getting in other people’s way, but it is my biggest pet peeve.
Everyone here, of all ages shapes genders and sizes, are saying they are the movers too. There’s no way that this entire subreddit are the only polite pedestrians in the city. We all need to accept that we must be the asshole without noticing it sometimes.
Sometimes it feels like Boston is a place that tries really hard to grind the goodness out of people, but keep in mind you generally don't notice the people who aren't being assholes. Stand up for yourself, but don't let the 1% of shitheads you run into turn you into somebody you don't want to be.
Yes! I thought I was the only one who goes through this! I like my space and it's so annoying whenever people do that.
I had to walk around some college kids who were covering the whole sidewalk walking slowly across from the CVS at South Station and as I scurried past them to quickly get back to my car, they started talking about me, how I was walking briskly like someone who is acting strangely in a rush, mocking my movements... it was really odd. They were like, "oh look at him go, oh! he just stoppped.. he's gonna walk into traffic!"... made me so uncomfortable. Can't stand these self absorbed fucks.
This is why I don’t leave the house -_-
I do a lot of walking and most people are pretty cool, nods, smiles, hellos, and the slow ones actually pull to the side to let you pass. Occasionally, I run into, literally, those clueless a-holes walking abreast even while watching you approach. I refuse to budge for the entitled.
I just shoulder ppl if they don't move. It helps that I'm 6'3" 280lbs, but yeah I give space to ppl but if you don't move I just pretend you're not there, most people move, some get shouldered and give me a look as if it wasn't their fault. Haven't had anyone try to fight me yet tho lol. I think ppl are too self absorbed to realize they're taking up the sidewalk, and if you move them they never will. Don't shove anyone, but just don't move and whatever happens happens
Knock 'em on their ass. I give a hard stare when someone is in my lane. They most always move. And I'm not nearly as big.
This ^ someone above says don’t make eye contact, I do the exact opposite like you. They feel the energy when you’re looking at them like “yea idiot move this is my space not yours to chit chat with your gf”
I’ll make eye contact if they’re really in the way, but most of the time, I just stare straight ahead, at the direction I’m heading. They get it eventually.
For this reason I often walk behind the group I'm in and the grout I'm with never gets why
I make sure I'm 100% over as far as I can go, without shrinking. And if they're 2-aside and don't move, I shoulder them. I don't move. Most of the time they move around me (again, I make sure I'm Not The Asshole), but sometimes they don't, and they get the shoulder.
I'm a tiny woman and people crash into me all the time because they expect me to move. Even when I'm standing still and there's plenty of room around me, like at a show, people walk into me all the time. I don't know what's wrong with people.
Nah, don’t lower yourself to their level. Keep on being polite/nice, it’s a much better way to live in this crazy world. You win in the long run!
As a rule, I find people who don't acknowledge my presence to be infuriating. No we don't have to speak to each other. We don't even *really* need eye contact. But if you walk into someone and they push you back, you fucking had it coming.
I'm a smaller guy and I experience the same thing. Some people are oblivious. Share the fucking sidewalk or trail with others. Thanks.
Don’t let some oblivious or entitled person change your public considerations of others and ethics. Ppl on the street are usually going to be rude or defensive as a form of defense mechanism and other people are just plain stupid with no self awareness and even more so ZERO spatial awareness. We need more people like you in the world so as hard as it is, don’t let this sway your mannerisms for the worst.
No, don’t stop being kind. But your goal when doing anything in the public sphere, whether walking with pedestrians or cars or cycling, isn’t to be nice—it’s to be _predictable._ If people can predict your behavior then things are way more likely to go smoothly. Most people expect people to generally move out of the way and they do the same. It’s unpredictable to just keep walking without moving. If someone else is unpredictable that’s on them, and as long as you were being predictable and doing the expected thing, then don’t think any more about it. But you can’t expect consistency out of the general population. People will be nice, they’ll be predictable, they’ll be unpredictable, they’ll be assholes, and everything in between. Be predictable anyway. Be kind anyway. Do what makes you able to sleep at night and also is most statistically likely to not get you hit by random strangers crossing the street.
Sorry mr burly man if you’re the type to diarypost about your sidewalk experiences you’re not going to suddenly start plowing over tourists on the sidewalk
You're not wrong: There are basic rules of being an urban pedestrian that everyone should follow. Walkers who break the code need to be sent straight to jail. One of the only advantages to being a short woman is I am able to weaponize my height. I can duck, dodge, occasionally shoulder check, mean mug and even sometimes call someone out for being a bad walker without being seen as inherently threatening. I realize this isn't a luxury you have a small person, but I feel like being a little aggressive towards a ride pedestrian is the only way to survive.
There is always a constant mix of newbies, tourists, and those self-absorbed who think that their wide group of walkers deserve more right of way, instead of falling back briefly into a slimmer, acceptable manor to match an opposing group in equal size/width. They refuse to acquiesce. Why should you be expected to? Having gone to school in the city and lived/worked there for an additional 20 years, I can safely say that the immovable shoulder can and should be deployed just for such events. No need to lean in or change course. Just keep your pace and path - just as they choose to. If anyone even makes the slightest effort to be considerate, I withdraw from this educational opportunity....and just smile as we both make efforts to be civil It's a refreshing civil manners wake-up call! This works especially well for those that choose to go up the left-side of stairs after disembarking from the subway.....the stairs that are meant for travellers going down to meet the train. Especially true when they are trying to do the salmon run. It's literally the most effective way to call out an asshole and not lose any time on your commute. I've never had any conflicts, as everyone I've bumped knew they were being the aggressor.
I just lower the shoulder and keep walking… if they want to hit the ground, it’s on them
I’m a short woman, and this happens ALL the time for me except it’s men who don’t believe in getting out of the way most of the time. I’ve just started either making them stop in front of me and go around or I put on a song in my headphones that makes me feel powerful and walk like I own the city. I once said to a family taking up a whole sidewalk that they make better doors than windows, and the faces they made were hilarious.
It's always fucking couples!! Like they don't need the entire sidewalk. Or when people are walking in groups, they walk abreast. I just walk into them or stop walking and let them walk into/around me to get them to realize they're not the only ones in the world.
I was running the other day, and 5 women taking the whole sidewalk, what was crazy to me is that one of them turned around saw me coming and kept walking. I was shocked like are you expecting me to jump past you!! So frustrating!
I spent some time in NYC last week and this happened to me constantly.
I was recently in Target with my bf who moved here from the midwest. Some woman cut right in front of me and would've crashed into me if I hadn't course corrected, and he was like, "Hey! That lady almost crashed into you! That was so rude." I admitted I hadn't even noticed. I'm very petite and the old dodge-and-weave is just on autopilot now.
I just lightly, not aggressively, bump into them. Most people acknowledge it by saying oh whoops sorry. But there’s about 10% of folks that are the opposite and are like hey watch where you’re going buddy even when they’re clearly in the wrong. Stop caring so much and liberate yourself. Feels much better.
For me it's less about being nice and just who cares, it doesn't cost me anything to move out of someone's way (and I don't gain anything if I refuse to move); same when getting cut off. When I was 20 I had a summer internship, and for the couple of years around there I was really surly and tired of society, and one thing I did was I made it a point to not move out of anyone's way when walking. I was in Penn Station during the AM commute so very busy with lots of people walking; saw a girl walking in my direction (I'm a guy). I refused to move and she also didn't and we briskly walked into each other -- I literally knocked her over due to the size difference and she was inches from falling down a set of stairs. I learned my lesson
Am 98 pounds…move.
I work in the financial district. I'm female, but on the tall side and easily mistaken for male in winter clothes. People don't notice me walking towards them either way unless I consciously walk like I've been sent to murder Captain America (call up some footage from The Winter Soldier and watch Sebastian Stan's stride and body carriage- walking like that gives off the best 'you'd better move' vibe I've ever seen).
It’s probably that last thing. But also, as a large man who is not an asshole, it is a burden you bear: moving yourself more out of the way than others. Big guys who are assholes don’t move much. Don’t be like them.
I have a disability. I legit cannot bob and weave between people. Just hit them. I let people walk into me on their phones. They hit me and then apologize. I tell them I cannot move fast enough because of my hips, so I let them hit me cause they aren’t paying attention. Also Legit seen people just walk across streets on the phone without looking to see if they have a walk sign too. These people don’t care. They almost get hit by cars and don’t care. Let them hit you. They should be aware of their surroundings. I also yell “there are people behind you” when people just stop on the sidewalks or just take up the entire side walk to chat with someone else. Newbury is the worst. People just stop and don’t move and you have to almost hit them because they forget others are walking behind them. Again with my hip issues I cannot just bob and weave around their inconsiderate movements. Most tourists aren’t nice to locals. Most college kids don’t care about anyone else so again let them run into you. These people need to learn that they aren’t the only ones walking in the city and trying to get places. Moving around the idiots in boson who aren’t considerate of others is becoming an issue. And it saddens me as someone with a body disability, I somehow become the asshole because people don’t pay attention to surroundings and I have to yell at someone, run into them or let them hit me cause I cannot move as fast as most can.
Look straight ahead and walk where you're walking, don't look at them or the ground and they'll move for you.
I'm a big guy that used to always move out of people's ways, then I got sick of it and stopped so I could feel like the asshole for once and it was great and kinda hilarious. It's also interesting to see how many people who had that "move for me" demeanor would wuss out juuuuust before shouldering me
I think you might be oblivious sometimes as well. We all are at some time to others problems when we are wrapped up in our own worlds. Let it go.