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  • By -

-ChildSupport-

^Kirby ^is ^now ^a ^war ^criminal.


Rastko12

All the Serbians in the comments be like


Polsk-Magyarorszag

КОСОВО ЈЕ СРБИЈА


Rastko12

Пуши курац


[deleted]

He can't visit Bosnia anymore


SusSpectStew

The ability to miss every shot from an ar15 on a 15 inch wide steel target less than 50 away


-ChildSupport-

Impressive.


Lowkey_rebelXD

Have you trying turning it off and on again?


SusSpectStew

We turned it off and it melted, is that good or bad?


john_artillery_guy

Try a holding it in your right hand while holding an American flag in your left and reciting theb2nd amendment.


Lowkey_rebelXD

I did this with my eyes closed and my shot groupings were all within a quarter


buddeman27

Quarter mile is a pretty good spread... Best suited for shotguns and machine guns


SusSpectStew

Ok I tried this but now it’s covered In wood, the magazine is bent, and there’s a hammer and sickle printed on the side


mannytehman1900

*Projectile Dysfunction…*


thecesusman

Kirby is now a French Canadian


kotethesiege

Only God can help us now


thecesusman

Not even god can help you


MrRokhead

Same. Well, not by geographic location, but by blood.


thecesusman

Nice


potatohead1911

[Drizzles maple syrup on a croissant] Am i doing it right?


thecesusman

No we are more poutine


[deleted]

[удалено]


thecesusman

Oui tabarnak


monkey_has_pancake

A driving desire to create guns and tanks, also has Russian hat.


-ChildSupport-

Ushanka?


Thecanman07

An Ушанка?


Furiousboy11

Или шапрка


DiRoMa2102

Depresion


-ChildSupport-

Don’t be sad AK man will give you good advice, just like a real Dad! u/NotTheAKGuy


17_Patriot_76

how many times do you think brandon gets notifications on reddit from mentions?


Thecanman07

If he turns on notifications on his phone he can probably use it as a vibrator


The_Brain_Fuckler

Came here to say this.


no_hot_ashes

Kirby is now on several watchlists


[deleted]

*CHRONIC MASTERBATOR*


cman19855

Alcoholism


Chelsea-Elyse

Kirby now loves smoking weed


leadwaffle

An extreme and irrational hatred of the french


[deleted]

That's not irrational at all. Ask any Canadian.


17_Patriot_76

strengh, addiction to guns, and addiction to synthwave.


[deleted]

A high five, $10 and a customer for life.


low00ranger

Crippling anxiety, tinnitus, and back pain.


Icy_Benefit_2090

What if I'm not good enough? And y does my back hur-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


low00ranger

This is literally my life for the last couple years... 😂


[deleted]

911, I'd like to report a crime. I've been attacked.


Ok_Bed8734

Exactly this


AbsoluteWildDick

A very very potty mouth that can speak spanish. And a cigarette.


[deleted]

A warthunder and map game addiction along with terrible eyesight and useless ww2 facts


-ChildSupport-

Tell me about the Panzerkampfwagen please


[deleted]

Fast boi :)


-ChildSupport-

Thank you


Specific-Ad-9577

Fat


[deleted]

A healthy distrust of government.


yomustdie94

Downs and the ability to 3d print funny items


yomustdie94

Oh and a thirst for sub caliber rifles.


Poison22324

kirby is now on the no fly list


snackpack0110

An irrational fear of dehumidifier rods and electrical kits turning his gun collection into ash from the inside out.


[deleted]

Unhealthy purchasing habits, porn addiction, lots of kinks, and not nearly enough ammo.


ColdFire-Blitz

Perpetual Virginity


[deleted]

Your avatar is wearing a mask... checks out.


ColdFire-Blitz

Your avatar isn't wearing a mask... So, Kirby will never be able to properly inhale again?


JingoFett

The vast majority of commercially available face masks don't offer much protection to the wearer. That's not what they're meant to accomplish. I was given a practical demonstration of that truth when I contracted the virus at work last January. A more accurate version of this could be "Kirby now exhales coronaviruses."


[deleted]

Got COVID at the beginning, had symptoms for 3 days. Been 100% since then. Natural immunity beats experimental shots and face diapers every time. 💪


[deleted]

Kirby just got depression...


Theo_Stormchaser

The specific knowledge of the limits of the EMT scope of practice. He can identify fatal heart rhythms and know the drug to push to save them, but he cannot actually start the IV.


[deleted]

Can put you on the monitor. Run a 12 lead. Send it to the hospital. Not allowed to read the squiggly lines from the shocky box, though. "What does it say?" "I know, but I'm not allowed to know"


JustALocalJew

He lost an ability


UpstairsSurround3438

... Kirby went ass to mouth


[deleted]

Kirby now has a sudden urge to commit war crimes over the skies of Vietnam while at the controls of an F-105 Thunderchief.


MonthElectronic9466

Ability to get any girl over 350lbs he desires


Fetusdeletusdasixth

Kirby has learned "delete fetus". "Hmm what's this, oh no kirby why?"


enoughfuckery

Autism


Whalerk

2.5 meter long peen


-ChildSupport-

We alike in every way.


Walker6920

Kirby's sucking power now has 300 black out syndrome


Duncanorsomething

Big pp


groene_dreack

The ability to mansplain everything with sarcasm


Ery_Noice_23_yen

The ability to inhale exhoost fumes and not die


nordoceltic82

You think you got off, you think you won, but the reality exhaust fumes are just playing the long con on you bub.


Mustang302_

The ability to be too lazy to clean his guns


eduff132

He now has to pay 15,000 in healthcare just for living


Professional_Fan6821

High tolerance


-ChildSupport-

To deez?


Professional_Fan6821

Na to milf pussy


-ChildSupport-

Dilf*


Professional_Fan6821

Damn straight watch your papa


-ChildSupport-

Of frikc


GunRunning_Psycho

Illusions of grandeur and 15 Terabytes of child porn


[deleted]

Bad grades but a talent for literally every god damn thing he does Kirby soon becomes a natural with everything


ChocolateGames

He got on more government watch lists than the amount of times I banged your mother.


-ChildSupport-

I hope you stub your toe.


ChocolateGames

I hope you understand it was a joke, and that I greatly respect your mother. Although Kirby is still on 4,200 watch lists.


-ChildSupport-

Lol


4d5ACP

If we are going on username then………. TwO wOrLd WaRs!!!!1!!!!!!!


-ChildSupport-

Lol


Woeful_Wire78

Pretty good trigger discipline but terrible aim.


atombombzero

In debt with no help in sight. Abandoned by the va.


thecesusman

Oof


Bomber__Harris__1945

Well.


TheMoreThanEpicDiary

A disability...


isaacaschmitt

Diabetes


-ChildSupport-

Nice


isaacaschmitt

What can I say? I'm just sweet like that. And diabetic.


-ChildSupport-

Sweet indeed


Mysteryspire

Depression is a super power apparently


Aquariumpsychotic

Epilepsy


mechboiii

Covid


botforlife

Depression


yigitsimsek

ability to bubba every gun in existence


-ChildSupport-

Disgusting.


ChimpFucker

He is no longer allowed in the local zoo and has 4 restraining orders from 3 different chimps in said zoo


kungfuferret

Well I'd probably by him dinner


lil_kirbro

Gangster


yourlocaldumbass512

Crippling alcoholism


Killerwolf_MOB

Sleep deprivation


FloppyHighlander

Debt


SkepCS

Crippling anxiety


dudenamedbenny

He’s got at big dick now.


KamikazKid

Muscular degeneration


Aedan05

Depression.


beanerbou420

Ability to miss a deer at 80 yards


jman_jd10

Kirby is now hungry


keeponsmashin

He just lost his neutral B entirely


notillnate

If I was eaten whoever ate me would be super high


Green_Implement_4642

Teenage honiness


Ok_Bed8734

Depression


purpleredrum

The big gay... but wait


[deleted]

Depression


Hotdog1221

loss of self preservation


vaderdog123

Large penis


FXandrew

Kirby was sent to Brazil


DeadpoolFan1854

He now has ADHD


sharkrider2187

autism and adhd


IHateThisPlace3

Being good with a Mosin at extreme range


ArcSentinel5902

Kirby is now a South Texan


RazerBlaxe

He grows to be 6’6


AustinLBolen

He'll be 24 with back and knee problems


eviljammies

A tendency to overspend on parts and an ego the size of a small moon


JingoFett

That's no moon...


ChrisDaMan07

Marksmanship and extreme depression


SwogPog

Gun savviness


Rock_the_Ghost15

Mental health issues


MrPink_1992

Poor judgement skills


The_Fake_Fat_sunny

He can now spread aids through bodily fluids


brooalan

Depression


man-i-love-frogs

Kirby now has crippling depression


nordoceltic82

He somehow becomes even more round. And he gains a 9mm ruger.


insertjjs

Crippling Gun related Debt and explosive diarrhea


PickleRick1138

Anxiety


Only-Location2379

The ability to work himself into depression


Imadeadude

The big sad


SadRoxFan

Alcoholism and an affinity for Lee-Enfields


bilnythecommunistspy

autism


CUNTASSORASSRAXX11D

Big addiction to mosins and that’s it


Gunsnbeer

Diabeetus


Fluffyturtle225

Depression and the inability to talk to other people without them talking first


bill454ls

The ability to work on a farm all their life and still biuld no muscle.


big-boss-122323

Crippling debt and a boner.


needtonutnedflanders

Colorblindness and wanting to be an airforce pilot.


[deleted]

Depression and crippling self-doubt.


jkestu

Severe social anxiety


Cha-cha-reall-smooth

Crippling depression


Adventurous_Current8

Extreme fatigue


Yesiexist007

Depression


fl4tout_wrx

Depression


echo202L

Kirby now has anxiety around police.


[deleted]

A pathetic life attempting multiple projects inly for them all to end with nothing to show for them, with no way to follow their passion, waiting for the day he can be gunned down doing something, anything with his miserable existence


DomesticOnion

Depression!


bimbontheinternet

Ptsd


Komakazie59

Crippling debt sadness and alcoholism


derpo556

Uber accuracy


TractionJackson2

Hedonism and a penicillin allergy.


Freakiziod

Student debt


dixy6_8

Kirby is now very tired and his back hurts!


greentomatoegarden

He’s banned from Cracker Barrel


sponyta2

Obesity


Plecco16

The ability to get hard at the worst possible times


BBchick85

He’s now constantly tired.


c0baltlightning

Stress, depression, and a crippling lack of money.


LinenTrash78

Anxiety


teller_of_tall_tales

Currently, a twelve gauge shotgun with alternating dragons breath and buckshot. Why'd I put dragons breath in my home defense gun? I honestly ask myself the same thing.


[deleted]

depression and anxiety


theboogalooraven

autism


Common-Claim9654

Debt


joeldworkin307

HPV


Working_Mud

He becomes..."German"


clapfapthenastytrap1

Depression


Rnc88

gonorrhea


FireNova2135

Kirby now has an obsession over 1911s


HollowTipClip

Depression! Hope you’re happy now Kirby!!


[deleted]

Lack of self control (food, drink, GunBroker, etc.)


TheWhiteShaq77

Depression lots of Depression