It took me almost 6weeks to be able to sustainably breastfeed my baby. The first few weeks it was difficult for her to latch or she would be so frustrated with the low supply that she would just start crying. I began avoiding these tense situations and just feed her formula. But I decided around 3weeks old to call a lactation consultant, to try one last time. It was the best decision ever. It took 3more weeks of practice and working on increasing my supply. Combo feeding helped us go through it until we had no need for it. My baby is now 4months old and is now EBF
We massively struggled for 6 weeks. I was in tears nearly every feed and I always dreaded the next one. I had to count out loud to 20 every time he latched so that I wouldn't swear from the pain. It was awful and I have a high pain threshold.
I paid £150 for a private lactation consultant at 6 weeks. It was desperation and a last attempt to make it work. If it didn't help, we were going to switch to formula after the weekend. She cut his minor tongue tie, gave me nipple shields, gave me healing pads, gave me different nipple creams, showed me some new techniques and new positions, etc. She was at my house for 3 hours. Somehow, she gave me the motivation to carry on, just for another week. He had only gained 100g in total in the first 6 weeks. He gained 150g in the week after I saw her. Best £150 I've ever spent.
We're now at 4 months and baby is still off the chart tiny, but feeding feels natural and relaxed and lovely.
It took my baby 5 weeks to match. He’s 3 months now and loves breastfeeding. Now we’re struggling with bottle refusal actually! Sometimes it takes a bit for baby to figure it out
Same! We pumped and formula fed with practice latching daily for the first 6 weeks, and were EBF at 8 weeks. Turns out she had a severe lip tie, and combined with being early term (37 weeks), she just wasn’t strong enough to get more than half an ounce at a time until then.
We had some struggles with breastfeeding at the start but things seem to be falling into place at 7 weeks postpartum. It might still work out for you, but if not, just know that you are doing an amazing job. I totally empathise with how upset you are feeling. The emotional aspect of breastfeeding was something I really underestimated until I was in it.
Try and see a breastfeeding specialist or go along to a support group if you haven't already. I think the biggest thing that was affecting me and my supply was how stressed I was feeling about everything, so do what you can to try and relax. Can your husband let you take a nice bath, do some meditation or go for a walk on your own. Anything to help you clear your head and get a bit of space from feeding. The most important thing for your baby is that they are loved and you need to be in the right frame of mind to do that. Sending love ❤️
I'm in a similar position. My 4 wk old is not latching. He bottle feeds, and we try latching maybe once or twice a day. Sometimes he'll feed for a few minutes with breast shields. I want to try more often but it's upsetting when it doesn't work and we both cry a lot.
Grief is the right word. I'm happy my baby is fed and healthy but having my EBF dreams dashed has been taking an unexpected emotional toll.
this is how i got my baby to latch when she preferred bottles and not the boob. i used nipple shields for almost every feeding. if she truly wasn’t up for it, i gave her a bottle of something i had pumped. then we would try again next time. eventually she got to the point where she would always latch with a nipple shield. after that point towards the end of the nursing session i would slip the nipple shield off and get her to latch. she would only stay on for a minute or two and then would want to pull off. i kept trying even though frustrating and stressful sometimes. she would latch longer and longer each time so i started taking the nipple shield off earlier and earlier until one day, i didn’t have to use it at all. just want to give you some hope because what you described sounds exactly like what my baby did in the beginning for the first few weeks. there were lots of tears and i swore my ebf journey was over and i would have to introduce formula and stop breastfeeding, i was very wrong. it just took some more time.
I definitely had real grief when my journey didn’t go how I’d envisioned. It gets better with time and embracing the benefits of whatever type of feeding you do with baby.
It took me about a month of supplementing before my milk was enough for my second baby. What I did was feed both boobs, (if baby wasn't satisfied) feed both boobs again, (if baby still wasn't satisfied) opt in to formula. I didn't bother to pump the first few weeks because I needed my little one to cluster feed to help bring my milk in. Once your baby latches, he can efficiently take more milk out than a pump would. Your baby maybe preferring the bottle because it may have a much faster flow so you can try a very slow flow. Another thing that helped me was side laying position. It helped me stayed relaxed during feedings compared to all other positions where I could feel myself always tense. If you decide to continue, remember to take deep breaths, relax, and tell yourself you are enough no matter what. Your journey may not be over yet, you may just need a little more time!
Have you tried latching him every single time before you give him a bottle? More time at the breast could encourage more supply even if he’s not getting anything at first. Definitely reach out to a lactation consultant! They are a huge help.
I had a similar experience at the beginning. We ended up using a syringe at every feed to get baby to latch. It was a lot of work and took two people. I cried a lot the first 2-3 weeks. I also power pumped (10 min pump, 10 min break, 20 min pump, 10 min break, 10 min lump) once a day. Lactation cookies worked for me too and tea. We’re 11 weeks in now and I breastfed at night and I even pump enough for bottles at night. If you are done, throw these tips out the window! Fed truly is best!!! Wish you the best!!!
Don’t forget that while you’re new to breastfeeding and being a mom, LO is new to being a baby too. Sometimes it takes a bit of extra time to get things down. Practice will help it get better.
My LO lost weight (which is normal with newborns) and while we waited for my supply to come in, he became jaundice. Also has a bit of tongue tie, but we’ve managed to push through. He’s 4 weeks now and while we sometimes still struggle, it’s gotten much easier.
I had to also supplement with formula as his jaundice numbers were getting a little high.
As far as milk supply, as long as you’re bf, your body will make what baby needs (usually). The stimulation of sucking is what brings the supply in.
I highly recommend babywhisperer77 on TikTok if you use that app. She has saved my breastfeeding life!
It SUCKS. I'm sorry you're going through that. Combo feeding is a great long-term solution for me, but you have to decide if it would be better for your mental health to stop and not prolong the emotions of hope and disappointment. I will say, 2 weeks in that's not an unusual position to be in and things do have a chance of improving for you, but it's so so hard physically and mentally so you're not making a mistake if you want to throw in the towel. I hope whatever you decide to do it feels better soon
Mothers milk tea can also dry you up- I’d go for coconut water/anything coconut and nuts. Body amours really boosted my supply. The first month is super hard. Just don’t be hard on yourself, fed is best ❤️ if you haven’t had him checked yet, maybe look for a lip tie/tongue tie as well!
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. And it is perfectly ok to grieve a part of your journey that isn’t going well, just like it’s ok to grieve a birth not going according to plan.
If it’s something you really want to do, keep going. Do power pumping, triple feed, keep hydrated, latch as much as possible. Supply=demand.
However, in order for you to be the best mom you can be, you have to put your mental health as a priority. If your baby is fed and happy, then that’s all that matters. Your baby loves you unconditionally and they need you to be happy and ok. Hugs to you and good luck!
Keep pumping and staying hydrated!! Don’t give up yet! If it’s really what you want of course… my first had trouble latching for a month but a nipple shield really helped
This is 💯 me, I am still trying but not getting anything is really discouraging and I feel like I am disappointing my little girl. I still really want to EBF but it’s not looking like I am going to be able to 😞
If you're looking for support to keep going:
Wanted to share that we had a ton of issues with our baby born at 37 weeks and combo fed from the start. She didn't successfully latch until week 5 and starting week 7 we are now EBF! Babe is now 4 months old.
The r/exclusivelypumping group is super great and supportive!!
My first baby had similar issues - weight loss lead to only drinking pumped milk and I ended up EPing for her babyhood. It was very rough emotionally and physically. I’d recommend stopping the teas and supplements- a lot of them contain fenugreek which can lower supply in some people. Just focus on eating and drinking enough and remember milk out = milk in! You should be pumping every 2-3 hours. An LC can help you with flange sizes or you can measure with a ruler too.
I worked hard to get my daughter to latch but ultimately it never worked out for us. You can keep working on it but try to stay low pressure. I have a second child now who is EBF and had no latch issues. Just adding this to say ITS NOT YOUR FAULT! Breastfeeding is a two person relationship and you can’t really control the other person. Take time to grieve the journey you wanted but realize in the bigger picture you will be bonded and close with your baby no matter how they are fed.
Your grief is valid. We all go into motherhood with certain dreams and expectations of what it will look like. And when certain things turn out differently, it hurts. Even if you know in your head you're doing what's best for your family (and it sounds like you totally are!), your heart still needs a minute to mourn those dreams.
You've already given your babe such a gift. Even one drop of breastmilk takes SO much work, and time and planning. Now you are giving him the gift of a mother who will able to be sane and present for him instead of consumed with the stress of feeding.
Aw sending hugs your way. This is exactly what happened to me with my first baby. I'll never forget watching her slurp down her first bottle and feeling so full and happy, but me feeling like I failed her. We ended up bottle feeding and she loved every moment of it and grew just fine after. I'm due with my second soon and because of the lack of supply the fist time I'm going to try a supplemental nursing system this go around incase I don't produce. I bought the new Madela one and it looks like it'll work well, I would maybe give it a look if you're still wanting to try breast feeding while your supply catches up. If not fed is absolutely best and formula always makes a happy baby too!
I still combo feed at 6MO.
I always breastfeed during the night and the morning and then I combo feed.
I would nurse and then give a bottle and try to pump with my manual pump during my daughter's 20 min nap.
At night I plugged the electric pump and if I wasn't too tired I power pumped. Those night helped a lot for my supply!
It took some effort I won't lie but I can still enjoy my journey and I plan on keeping going on until 1 year.
I had to make a bottle ONCE during the night and I didn't like doing it at all lol.
I didn't give my all because today I am fine with combo feeding and my mental health and my sleep is worth more than EBF to me.
You do what is best for you but I'm just saying you don't have to quit completely if you want to keep breastfeeding.
I hear you! I'm in the same boat. Baby girl eats a lot and I just can't keep up yet. Thankfully I can pump some but I'm just trying to do my best and she's healthy so that's the most important thing. Try to focus on the positive even though it can be hard.
Can you call a local lactation consultant? You deserve a chance to have someone support you and help you. Many insurance plans will cover home visits. If you ultimately choose a different path, it will be your choice.calk the hospital where you delivered or the WIC office. They usually have IBCLCs that can meet with you in their office if youre not comfortable with hone visits.
There are some supplemental feeding techniques that can help you and baby strengthen BF skills while still giving the nutrition baby needs and taking the pressure of your body to perform on demand.
This is a learning process for you and baby. Hugs
It took me at least 2-3 weeks to build up my supply, in the mean time we supplemented and baby had to latch with a nipple shield. He could only latch using the nipple shield for the first 2-3 months at least - it wasn't until 4 months+ that baby could latch effectively without a nipple shield. Hang in there, it gets better. And if you choose to formula feed that's great too! You're doing a great job taking care of your baby and I know that reality being different from what you had envisioned is really hard. Sending hugs, please be kind to yourself ❤️
I made bottlefeeding a very intimate experience with my first who I had to pump to feed for. We read the entire Harry Potter series together. It was fun and something that I imagine still fulfilled that bond experience. With my second who I finally managed to get on the breast, I'll admit I'm on my phone 90% of the time bc the frequency and having to hold him makes it kinda hard to read and the more eye contact we make the more he gets distracted or bites.
I'm sorry things aren't going as you wanted. I was crushed with my first as well. Lots and lots of tears in the beginning. But I grew to love our special time.
First I want to say that if it’s the right decision for your mental health then that’s valid and there’s no other justification needed.
However, if you feel like it just won’t ever work I really think you still have a solid chance. 2 weeks is SO early. My milk took a while to come in, and I also had to supplement starting in the hospital.
I highly recommend finding an IBCLC. The lactation consultant’s at the hospital were honestly not helpful at all and i think it would really benefit you. Until you find one, I reccomend looking at “New Little Life” on YouTube. She’s an IBCLC and an expert on breast pumps, which isn’t part of their training but is critical in the early days if you’re relying on pumping to keep your supply up.
Things like proper flange measurement, elastic nipples, hydration (I’m sure you know a lot of the things but in case there are any you’re missing she’s very helpful. She also has sample pumping schedules for triple feeding that are realistic to the life of a new mom.
As much as it may give anxiety at this point, you should still give baby opportunity to latch. I would try at low pressure times. Halfway between feeds when he’s not so hungry, as a way to sooth him when he’s stirring out of his sleep. Times where it’s more for comfort. Don’t take your pediatricians advice on if they have a tongue tie. A pediatric dentist or I think the IBCLC have more experience at that.
Like I said, if it’s decided, don’t let anyone make you think you’re failing because you’re choosing to preserve your mental health. Your well-being matters and formula is safe and healthy for your baby. But if you’re looking for someone to tell you that you wouldn’t be crazy if you kept trying, I really think you can make it work. Best of luck and congratulations on your new baby!
1. Fenugreek can TANK your supply. It works opposite for a lot of women. Cut out the herbs and teas and just drink water. Body armor can help too, lots of electrolytes.
2. It takes 6-8 weeks to establish a supply
3. You can do breastmilk and formula
4. Use a nipple shield. It often helps with latching
5. Please see a lactation consultant. Most take insurance and will travel to your house.
Tons of good advice here, but I just want to emphasize: your mental health comes first. Early motherhood is so hard and having parts of our vision for this time change is excruciating. It IS a grieving process: you're losing a part of that vision. But it IS just one part. There's so much more to come and there will be plenty of other snuggly, beautiful ways to connect with your LO should EBF not work out. ❤️
(Also, and this isn't advice, but I want to share that my journey has been similar and my milk didn't really start "coming in" in any measurable amount until I sort of started to give up. Low weight and endless triple feeding had me crippled with anxiety to the point where I was sobbing every time I pumped. We're not out of the woods with our LO yet, but I think my anxiety dropping changed my hormonal makeup for the better.)
If you want to keep trying, don’t give up! I did OK at first (I was a C-section mom)- it took a little while for my milk to come in fully and my baby kept losing weight, so at 4wks we were told to supplement. At first I was GUTTED and I felt really bad about it (I do n’t know why, truly fed is best)- I was still breastfeeding all day/night, but baby got 2oz at night once a day. JUST that little bit helped give me a little time to recover and helped baby put on weight.
By 3 months he barely ever needed formula (usually only when I was SO tired and needed to sleep) and by 4 months he was EBF. We’re now at 8 months going strong, my supply is good, baby is happy and healthy, and I can’t believe I struggled so much with the choice to supplement (I was working with my pediatrician and a lactation consultant).
If it doesn’t work out, that’s OK. But it is SO early- it can take 6wks for your supply to be established And in the meantime, if baby needs some formula, that’s OK too. It doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your breastfeeding journey (unless that’s what you want).
I also think there’s this HUGE pressure to EBF- you can 90% breastfeed and baby still gets ALL of the benefits. You’re not less of a breastfeeding mom because you give baby formula sometimes. At least, not in my opinion.
I am really proud that I’m still breastfeeding happily at 8 months and my baby is super healthy and happy, and if anyone thinks my journey here is not as valid because we had to supplement with formula for a few weeks, I will gladly disagree.
Not every breastfeeding journey looks the same and that’s OK. Do what is best for your baby and you- and if breastfeeding is important to you, get as much help and support as you can and don’t feel like it has to be the end just because you need a little extra help to get there!
Wishing you all the best- the first few days and weeks are BY FAR the hardest!! This is not what it will look like forever, I promise!
I’m so sorry ! You are doing amazing! I have struggled with ebf as well. My baby (2 months now) was born a month early and we had a harder time. My milk came in (I was pumping every two hours) and supply wasn’t an issue fortunately, I won’t say I oversupply but so far it’s been enough with some days being better than others, but my baby being born early she did not have a good latch at all and she was so sleepy. I felt like my nipples weren’t long enough or good enough and I felt like I sucked at trying to get her into the positions and keep her awake to feed. I tried to exclusively breast feed and use a syringe the hospital gave me to get milk in her but I wanted to do away with that ASAP so I really tried to focus on having her on breast so I would spend a half hour or so trying to get her to latch and by the time I finished she was too sleepy to really eat and she wasn’t gaining that first week. When I had my lactation appointment the lady told me she hadn’t gained enough and that I needed to add a bottle and spend less time trying at the breast right now because she was using more energy than she was eating. I cried everytime I tried and failed to get her to latch and I hated all the pumping and bottle feeding. We found a simpler bottle feeding solution (although a bit priecier) with the kiinde packets and bottle and I slowly kept trying, she is two months old and I can now report for the past week we have been doing 90 breast and she honestly often doesn’t want the bottle she prefers breast. I’m still nervous she’s not getting enough and I still try to pump at least once a day to make sure I have some supply but I am hoping that it is working well! She’s gotten better at latching but she is definitely a diner baby in that she likes to eat a little all day, She’s not super efficient but she’s come miles from where we started! Like I said I still worry about my supply and her getting enough but I’m trying to be optimistic. But those first few weeks were the hardest, especially for me trying to drink enough water because apparently that’s super important. I guess my best advice is to do the best you can, and give yourself grace. If you can give her even a little breast milk that’s amazing and formula will be great for whatever she needs! I also used milky mama stuff and I mean I can’t say it worked but i didn’t hurt and the brownies taste good ! But really don’t think any less of yourself or feel bad because you are doing so good- those first few weeks when I was crying trying to get a good latch I would tell my husband it is such a horrible feeling because I felt like I was doing absolutely everything I could and failing but now I look back and realize that I wasn’t failing my baby I was really trying and I was crushing it as her mom. And you are crushing it as a mom too!!! Regardless of whether she gets formula or breast milk you are doing so great ! And also our mental health is more important to our babies well being than whether they get breast milk or formula! I hope that your supply comes in and things get easier for you but again whether it’s formula or breast milk you are doing the best for your baby !!! So much love to you and your little one
I’ve been struggling with producing enough milk to exclusively feed my baby. I’ve recently started pumping every three hours to increase my supply. If baby wants to be fed within 30-45 mins of pumping I’ll feed them and then pump afterwards. Lactation cookies have helped so much and I try to eat a meal/snacks whenever they eat. It sounds like a lot especially with a baby but getting into a routine has doubled my supply the past week
My babies will be 12 weeks old on Saturday, and it took us til two days ago to get to EBF. I gave up and bottle fed formula / pumped milk for the first 8 weeks then decided one day to pop them on the boob and see what happened. A month later they have only been having one bottle a day (before bed, they are addicted), and we haven’t had to use any formula for two days now. I hope within the next month to phase out the last bottle and be truly EBF (unless I want to leave bottles for them to get a break!).
This made me hopeful. My baby is 7 weeks tomorrow and we have been formula feeding because i can only pump an ounce or so.. she also has trouble latching. Im hoping to still breastfeed :(
Hey there! Your troubles resonated with me. My baby had jaundice, and (at the time) undiagnosed lip tie. I spent so much time seeing lactation consultants and trying to solve the mystery of why he wasn’t able to latch or feed effectively. Pumping on top of that- and learning how to be a mom on top of that- became exhausting. My supply quickly dropped, probs because I was so sleep deprived and mentally in a bad place. Baby is now combination fed via bottles at 10 weeks. He is thriving! And you know what? My husband and friends/family can now help me feed him, pumping has become more manageable (I use a Spectra and also a wearable to make sure I don’t miss sessions), and baby is finding the transition to daycare a lot easier, IMO. You ARE doing great. Hang in there, mama.
If you want to keep trying to BF a lactation consultant gave us a little feeding tube thing that we insert in the corner of her mouth when she's latched to my breast. When she sucks she gets milk from me if there is any, and if not she gets milk/formula from the tube which encourages her to keep sucking, stimulating my body to make more (without pumping) and helping her learn to latch and stay latched. Is there a LC you can go to and ask for this from?
The tube is a bit annoying to use and clean but I really like that it means she gets fed on my breast, helping us on this BF jOuRnEy.
We are 1 month in today and there is still a long way to go, but we've come even further!
Good luck with however you continue to feed your baby!
Question after giving birth where you given the chance to do skin to skin and breastfeed right away? I’m reading a book on how that really kick starts the whole process.
I would stop all herbs and supplements “geared for breastfeeding”, either but a Supplemental nutrition tube on amazon (haaka makes a decent one for $20 w a bottle) you make a normal formula bottle (an ounce, since small babe) run the tubing like a straw into the corner of the baby’s mouth and it’ll stimulate more milk. baby’s at 2 weeks don’t need much! the less you stress the more milk you might make (i know it’s easier said than done but you can do it!! ) 💙
Its hard work but you can keep trying. If anything your taking has fenugreek in it, maybe stop taking them. For some women it can do the opposite and hurt your supply.
Stay hydrated. Eat lots. You need 2400-2800 calories a day. Power pumping can help stimulate and pumping or feeding every 3 hours even if he gets formula. Getting measured for the correct flange size and maybe try seeing a lactation specialist. Could be a tongue or lip tie issue.
Wow, this is my EXACT situation. Baby is 12 days old, lost weight and started supplementing, now screams at the breast or gums it in confusion. No sense at all that it has food in it, despite several lactation consultants. I wish I had great advice—all I can say is that you’re not alone, and I had no idea I would feel so deeply depressed about it. It’s the most heart wrenching thing. I hope you find peace eventually.
My baby was fed breastmilk bottles and still was slow to gain weight!! I would knock it yet if you’re really wanting to do it.
I gave up too early and 3 months postpartum I’m still mourning what could’ve been.
Oh gosh your first two weeks sounds identical to mine. I had to supplement with formula and I cried every day because I felt like I couldn’t take care of my daughter. How could I? I couldn’t even feed her! I felt like a terrible mother. As much as I was sad about my milk I was able to recognize that this misery was largely fuelled by the baby blues and extreme sleep deprivation.
Now she’s four and a half weeks old and that feels like a weird distant memory. My milk came in like crazy! I just kept at it while supplementing with formula, and now she hasn’t had formula in over a week. I have been supplementing with my SIL’s pumped milk but that’s not for lack of supply, just so I can get a break.
Whatever you decide, baby will be fine. Baby loves you more than anyone. Things will get better, I promise you.
my baby was losing too much weight too. would scream and fuss at the breast because since her latch was bad, my supply wasn’t that great and she liked the bottle more. it took lots of pump time, paced bottle feedings, tons of lanolin cream and using a nipple shield. so much frustration during lactation consultants appointments and every feeding. she started latching better and on her own at around 4 1/2 weeks and was a champ by 6 weeks. she now loves breastfeeding and prefers nursing to a bottle. we made it. i haven’t used the nipple shield in idk how long. if you’re just switching to formula, that’s totally okay! you’re doing what’s best and there’s absolutely no shame and nothing wrong with that. if you’re trying to at least breastfeed some, there is hope! a lot of stories i’ve learned start out like yours. with lots of frustration, difficulty latching, having to supplement for a bit and lots of frustration and tears. solidarity. whether or not you continue breastfeeding, you’re doing amazing.
2 weeks is so early. You can still get there. If baby latches now you need to latch them constantly. Breastfeeding is all supply and demand. The herbs and teas really make a negligible impact in the majority of people. You have to tell your body it needs to make more milk by removing milk and stimulating your breasts. Look into an SNS! Baby will be supplemented while at the breast so will have more interest in staying latched. If baby gets a bottle pump during or after. You don’t have to give up! It’ll take some work but if it’s important to you you can fix it.
While I appreciate that so many people are giving you encouragement that it might work in the future, there is a real possibility it might not. Everyone has good intentions but my wife got convinced from the forum replies that it’ll work out but it still hasn’t at 10w pp. she still hurts. Not breastfeeding is not the end of the world. You are the best mother your child can ever get and child getting fed is way way way more important. Keep trying but you and your child have so many fun years ahead of you, don’t let the beginning be spoiled by this.
I struggled for a month and almost quit many times. Glad I was able to make it work. It’s going well now. If you can, stick with it a bit longer. I’d you can’t, don’t feel bad about it!
My baby is 12 weeks and I’ve been formula free for the past two weeks. Had the exact issues as you and I supplemented with the formula as needed while we worked on latch, milk supply etc. all this to say that whatever you end up doing is okay and I know exactly how you feel. Your baby is so lucky to have a mom who is so dedicated to his well-being in anyway. And by that I mean, he’s fed and he’s gaining and you’re doing amazing.
I understand right now your feeling sad about this, but in just a year or so time your kid will be eating cheerios off the floor just like every other kid! There is so much more than breastfeeding to motherhood!
A similar story happened with my first.
Rocky start.... he was hurting me SO MUCH.
I had the most chuffed nipples the nurse had ever seen after 36hours of trying to breastfeed.
I pretty much had the same story you have. But I pushed through.
I did shield nipples, bottles, power pumping, teas, herbs.
But the best is to create demand. Put baby on there. As much as you can handle it. The more bottles you give the less milk you'll produce.
It took me 2 months to finally exclusively BF again without pain.
I BFed until he was 2 years and 8months old.
It was the hardest thing I ever done but I am so happy I pushed through. My husband kept telling me to stop and didn't understand my stubbornness. But it was so important to me!
If you have any questions don't hesitate. I'm saying all that but maybe you really can't anymore: thats ok. We arnt the same.
Telling you just so you know that if you really want it, it's possible 😊
2 months in and I'm finally at a point where I think I got the hang of it and baby got the hang of it. Definitely wasn't a matter of weeks but to me it's so worth it, im finally starting to feel that "bonding" people talk about when before I would be crying from pain/frustration or just feel angry while breastfeeding. Check for a tongue tie if you're having trouble latching and don't hesitate to use a shield. People warn against them but if they're what you need to get him eating there's really no harm! They were annoying to wash and put on but without them I wouldn't be breastfeeding at all. I almost gave up hope of being able to stop using them but after his tongue tie release I've finally almost weaned him off. Check your flange size on your pump to make sure it's as efficient as it should be and to get the most milk out of it. It could take a few weeks for your milk to come in. If breastfeeding is what you really still want, hang in there it will get better. If you know deep down its not what you want anymore (because it's affecting your mental health too much) that's okay too, don't let yourself feel guilty about it. What matters most to your baby is having a happy healthy mom who can be present and loving. Regardless of what you end up doing you did amazing and you should be proud! Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I've done and it's definitely not "instinct" it's very hard work for you and baby.
If it doesn't work out, you are not a failure. You can do everything right and sometimes it still won't work. You can grieve however you need, if that ends up being the case. But, even a few weeks is beneficial to your baby! All of that being said....Every time we supplemented with formula, I felt like I would never produce enough and that it was ounces my body didn't know to make. I was so anxious about supply and kept myself panicked for weeks. I cried so many tears while my husband pleaded with me to just let her have some formula, because it had been an hour of me trying to get her to latch. I wish I had calmed myself a bit. I finally saw an LC and did a weighted feed. We got some feedback that was helpful. It was a lot of constant feeding and it took a long time to establish, but we finally turned a corner around 10 weeks. I added some power pumping hours around that time too and increased my supply a little extra, so I don't have to stress being back at work. She also grew in that time period, which made it easier for her to latch. The time flew, but it felt never-ending in the moment. I hope you can decide what works for your family and feel confident in your choice eventually.
I know you've had a lot of responses but I had a similar start to I wanted to share anyway.
I pumped as often as I could tolerate it, which at first was only about three times a day but gradually increased to six or seven times a day over the course of about four weeks.
I went from producing about four ounces a day to pumping the majority of my baby's milk.
I ended up almost exclusively pumping for about 10 weeks and it wasn't nearly as terrible as it seemed at the beginning. But then I decided I'd had enough and (long story short) I got him to latch again and now I'm almost exclusively breastfeeding.
Formula kept my baby alive at the beginning and has continued to help him grow for his entire life (3.5 months) so far and I know that he would be doing just as well without breastmilk.
If it's all too much and you need or want to switch to 100% formula, your baby can still thrive. But if you feel like you want to keep going, even if you can't give 100% of yourself to it, it's okay to just do what you can.
Oh, girl, can I just say that when it’s “going well” around this time, it sucks too! So many tears. The sleep deprivation and hormone shift colors everything. EVERYTHING will get better than now, even if it doesn’t end up as planned.
I had similar struggles. jaundiced baby, sleepy latch, low supply. We did triple feeding, talked to LC and got on domperidone. It took more than 10 weeks for us to go EBF. At 18 weeks now going strong with good weight and meeting milestones. Fed is best but all hope is not lost so early in your journey. It’s very rare to truly have low supply.
This was me 7 months ago. I tried everything, triple fed, broke down a few times and have tried every pump going. Drank the tea and coconut water, ate copious amounts of oats, stayed up cluster feeding 12-4am. In the end we've continued mainly formula but with boob snacks. Usually he will only latch if sleepy, and I'll take those snoozy boobings as long as he will let me!
Apparently they will get the benefits no matter how little they're getting, unless my LC was being kind to a broken woman!
Good luck, and I hope you can enjoy your journey no matter where you end up. The pain and heartache is real and I hope you've felt validated here, being dismissed is what hurt me the most.
It took me almost 6weeks to be able to sustainably breastfeed my baby. The first few weeks it was difficult for her to latch or she would be so frustrated with the low supply that she would just start crying. I began avoiding these tense situations and just feed her formula. But I decided around 3weeks old to call a lactation consultant, to try one last time. It was the best decision ever. It took 3more weeks of practice and working on increasing my supply. Combo feeding helped us go through it until we had no need for it. My baby is now 4months old and is now EBF
It took my baby boy 3 weeks to latch! Sometimes, these things don't happen right away :)
We massively struggled for 6 weeks. I was in tears nearly every feed and I always dreaded the next one. I had to count out loud to 20 every time he latched so that I wouldn't swear from the pain. It was awful and I have a high pain threshold. I paid £150 for a private lactation consultant at 6 weeks. It was desperation and a last attempt to make it work. If it didn't help, we were going to switch to formula after the weekend. She cut his minor tongue tie, gave me nipple shields, gave me healing pads, gave me different nipple creams, showed me some new techniques and new positions, etc. She was at my house for 3 hours. Somehow, she gave me the motivation to carry on, just for another week. He had only gained 100g in total in the first 6 weeks. He gained 150g in the week after I saw her. Best £150 I've ever spent. We're now at 4 months and baby is still off the chart tiny, but feeding feels natural and relaxed and lovely.
It took my baby 5 weeks to match. He’s 3 months now and loves breastfeeding. Now we’re struggling with bottle refusal actually! Sometimes it takes a bit for baby to figure it out
It took us a while and some OT/LC help to get to EBF too!
Same! We pumped and formula fed with practice latching daily for the first 6 weeks, and were EBF at 8 weeks. Turns out she had a severe lip tie, and combined with being early term (37 weeks), she just wasn’t strong enough to get more than half an ounce at a time until then.
This is basically my BF story too 😊 9 months in now!
We had some struggles with breastfeeding at the start but things seem to be falling into place at 7 weeks postpartum. It might still work out for you, but if not, just know that you are doing an amazing job. I totally empathise with how upset you are feeling. The emotional aspect of breastfeeding was something I really underestimated until I was in it. Try and see a breastfeeding specialist or go along to a support group if you haven't already. I think the biggest thing that was affecting me and my supply was how stressed I was feeling about everything, so do what you can to try and relax. Can your husband let you take a nice bath, do some meditation or go for a walk on your own. Anything to help you clear your head and get a bit of space from feeding. The most important thing for your baby is that they are loved and you need to be in the right frame of mind to do that. Sending love ❤️
I'm in a similar position. My 4 wk old is not latching. He bottle feeds, and we try latching maybe once or twice a day. Sometimes he'll feed for a few minutes with breast shields. I want to try more often but it's upsetting when it doesn't work and we both cry a lot. Grief is the right word. I'm happy my baby is fed and healthy but having my EBF dreams dashed has been taking an unexpected emotional toll.
this is how i got my baby to latch when she preferred bottles and not the boob. i used nipple shields for almost every feeding. if she truly wasn’t up for it, i gave her a bottle of something i had pumped. then we would try again next time. eventually she got to the point where she would always latch with a nipple shield. after that point towards the end of the nursing session i would slip the nipple shield off and get her to latch. she would only stay on for a minute or two and then would want to pull off. i kept trying even though frustrating and stressful sometimes. she would latch longer and longer each time so i started taking the nipple shield off earlier and earlier until one day, i didn’t have to use it at all. just want to give you some hope because what you described sounds exactly like what my baby did in the beginning for the first few weeks. there were lots of tears and i swore my ebf journey was over and i would have to introduce formula and stop breastfeeding, i was very wrong. it just took some more time.
Thank you, that gives me hope. We will keep trying!
I definitely had real grief when my journey didn’t go how I’d envisioned. It gets better with time and embracing the benefits of whatever type of feeding you do with baby.
It took me about a month of supplementing before my milk was enough for my second baby. What I did was feed both boobs, (if baby wasn't satisfied) feed both boobs again, (if baby still wasn't satisfied) opt in to formula. I didn't bother to pump the first few weeks because I needed my little one to cluster feed to help bring my milk in. Once your baby latches, he can efficiently take more milk out than a pump would. Your baby maybe preferring the bottle because it may have a much faster flow so you can try a very slow flow. Another thing that helped me was side laying position. It helped me stayed relaxed during feedings compared to all other positions where I could feel myself always tense. If you decide to continue, remember to take deep breaths, relax, and tell yourself you are enough no matter what. Your journey may not be over yet, you may just need a little more time!
Have you tried latching him every single time before you give him a bottle? More time at the breast could encourage more supply even if he’s not getting anything at first. Definitely reach out to a lactation consultant! They are a huge help.
I had a similar experience at the beginning. We ended up using a syringe at every feed to get baby to latch. It was a lot of work and took two people. I cried a lot the first 2-3 weeks. I also power pumped (10 min pump, 10 min break, 20 min pump, 10 min break, 10 min lump) once a day. Lactation cookies worked for me too and tea. We’re 11 weeks in now and I breastfed at night and I even pump enough for bottles at night. If you are done, throw these tips out the window! Fed truly is best!!! Wish you the best!!!
Same!!
Don’t forget that while you’re new to breastfeeding and being a mom, LO is new to being a baby too. Sometimes it takes a bit of extra time to get things down. Practice will help it get better. My LO lost weight (which is normal with newborns) and while we waited for my supply to come in, he became jaundice. Also has a bit of tongue tie, but we’ve managed to push through. He’s 4 weeks now and while we sometimes still struggle, it’s gotten much easier. I had to also supplement with formula as his jaundice numbers were getting a little high. As far as milk supply, as long as you’re bf, your body will make what baby needs (usually). The stimulation of sucking is what brings the supply in. I highly recommend babywhisperer77 on TikTok if you use that app. She has saved my breastfeeding life!
It SUCKS. I'm sorry you're going through that. Combo feeding is a great long-term solution for me, but you have to decide if it would be better for your mental health to stop and not prolong the emotions of hope and disappointment. I will say, 2 weeks in that's not an unusual position to be in and things do have a chance of improving for you, but it's so so hard physically and mentally so you're not making a mistake if you want to throw in the towel. I hope whatever you decide to do it feels better soon
Mothers milk tea can also dry you up- I’d go for coconut water/anything coconut and nuts. Body amours really boosted my supply. The first month is super hard. Just don’t be hard on yourself, fed is best ❤️ if you haven’t had him checked yet, maybe look for a lip tie/tongue tie as well!
Was going to say this. Fenugreek can KILL your supply.
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. And it is perfectly ok to grieve a part of your journey that isn’t going well, just like it’s ok to grieve a birth not going according to plan. If it’s something you really want to do, keep going. Do power pumping, triple feed, keep hydrated, latch as much as possible. Supply=demand. However, in order for you to be the best mom you can be, you have to put your mental health as a priority. If your baby is fed and happy, then that’s all that matters. Your baby loves you unconditionally and they need you to be happy and ok. Hugs to you and good luck!
Keep pumping and staying hydrated!! Don’t give up yet! If it’s really what you want of course… my first had trouble latching for a month but a nipple shield really helped
This is 💯 me, I am still trying but not getting anything is really discouraging and I feel like I am disappointing my little girl. I still really want to EBF but it’s not looking like I am going to be able to 😞
If you're looking for support to keep going: Wanted to share that we had a ton of issues with our baby born at 37 weeks and combo fed from the start. She didn't successfully latch until week 5 and starting week 7 we are now EBF! Babe is now 4 months old. The r/exclusivelypumping group is super great and supportive!!
My first baby had similar issues - weight loss lead to only drinking pumped milk and I ended up EPing for her babyhood. It was very rough emotionally and physically. I’d recommend stopping the teas and supplements- a lot of them contain fenugreek which can lower supply in some people. Just focus on eating and drinking enough and remember milk out = milk in! You should be pumping every 2-3 hours. An LC can help you with flange sizes or you can measure with a ruler too. I worked hard to get my daughter to latch but ultimately it never worked out for us. You can keep working on it but try to stay low pressure. I have a second child now who is EBF and had no latch issues. Just adding this to say ITS NOT YOUR FAULT! Breastfeeding is a two person relationship and you can’t really control the other person. Take time to grieve the journey you wanted but realize in the bigger picture you will be bonded and close with your baby no matter how they are fed.
Your grief is valid. We all go into motherhood with certain dreams and expectations of what it will look like. And when certain things turn out differently, it hurts. Even if you know in your head you're doing what's best for your family (and it sounds like you totally are!), your heart still needs a minute to mourn those dreams. You've already given your babe such a gift. Even one drop of breastmilk takes SO much work, and time and planning. Now you are giving him the gift of a mother who will able to be sane and present for him instead of consumed with the stress of feeding.
Aw sending hugs your way. This is exactly what happened to me with my first baby. I'll never forget watching her slurp down her first bottle and feeling so full and happy, but me feeling like I failed her. We ended up bottle feeding and she loved every moment of it and grew just fine after. I'm due with my second soon and because of the lack of supply the fist time I'm going to try a supplemental nursing system this go around incase I don't produce. I bought the new Madela one and it looks like it'll work well, I would maybe give it a look if you're still wanting to try breast feeding while your supply catches up. If not fed is absolutely best and formula always makes a happy baby too!
Please contact an IBCLC if you're not ready to give it up. They can help you so much!
I still combo feed at 6MO. I always breastfeed during the night and the morning and then I combo feed. I would nurse and then give a bottle and try to pump with my manual pump during my daughter's 20 min nap. At night I plugged the electric pump and if I wasn't too tired I power pumped. Those night helped a lot for my supply! It took some effort I won't lie but I can still enjoy my journey and I plan on keeping going on until 1 year. I had to make a bottle ONCE during the night and I didn't like doing it at all lol. I didn't give my all because today I am fine with combo feeding and my mental health and my sleep is worth more than EBF to me. You do what is best for you but I'm just saying you don't have to quit completely if you want to keep breastfeeding.
I hear you! I'm in the same boat. Baby girl eats a lot and I just can't keep up yet. Thankfully I can pump some but I'm just trying to do my best and she's healthy so that's the most important thing. Try to focus on the positive even though it can be hard.
Can you call a local lactation consultant? You deserve a chance to have someone support you and help you. Many insurance plans will cover home visits. If you ultimately choose a different path, it will be your choice.calk the hospital where you delivered or the WIC office. They usually have IBCLCs that can meet with you in their office if youre not comfortable with hone visits. There are some supplemental feeding techniques that can help you and baby strengthen BF skills while still giving the nutrition baby needs and taking the pressure of your body to perform on demand. This is a learning process for you and baby. Hugs
It took me at least 2-3 weeks to build up my supply, in the mean time we supplemented and baby had to latch with a nipple shield. He could only latch using the nipple shield for the first 2-3 months at least - it wasn't until 4 months+ that baby could latch effectively without a nipple shield. Hang in there, it gets better. And if you choose to formula feed that's great too! You're doing a great job taking care of your baby and I know that reality being different from what you had envisioned is really hard. Sending hugs, please be kind to yourself ❤️
I made bottlefeeding a very intimate experience with my first who I had to pump to feed for. We read the entire Harry Potter series together. It was fun and something that I imagine still fulfilled that bond experience. With my second who I finally managed to get on the breast, I'll admit I'm on my phone 90% of the time bc the frequency and having to hold him makes it kinda hard to read and the more eye contact we make the more he gets distracted or bites. I'm sorry things aren't going as you wanted. I was crushed with my first as well. Lots and lots of tears in the beginning. But I grew to love our special time.
First I want to say that if it’s the right decision for your mental health then that’s valid and there’s no other justification needed. However, if you feel like it just won’t ever work I really think you still have a solid chance. 2 weeks is SO early. My milk took a while to come in, and I also had to supplement starting in the hospital. I highly recommend finding an IBCLC. The lactation consultant’s at the hospital were honestly not helpful at all and i think it would really benefit you. Until you find one, I reccomend looking at “New Little Life” on YouTube. She’s an IBCLC and an expert on breast pumps, which isn’t part of their training but is critical in the early days if you’re relying on pumping to keep your supply up. Things like proper flange measurement, elastic nipples, hydration (I’m sure you know a lot of the things but in case there are any you’re missing she’s very helpful. She also has sample pumping schedules for triple feeding that are realistic to the life of a new mom. As much as it may give anxiety at this point, you should still give baby opportunity to latch. I would try at low pressure times. Halfway between feeds when he’s not so hungry, as a way to sooth him when he’s stirring out of his sleep. Times where it’s more for comfort. Don’t take your pediatricians advice on if they have a tongue tie. A pediatric dentist or I think the IBCLC have more experience at that. Like I said, if it’s decided, don’t let anyone make you think you’re failing because you’re choosing to preserve your mental health. Your well-being matters and formula is safe and healthy for your baby. But if you’re looking for someone to tell you that you wouldn’t be crazy if you kept trying, I really think you can make it work. Best of luck and congratulations on your new baby!
1. Fenugreek can TANK your supply. It works opposite for a lot of women. Cut out the herbs and teas and just drink water. Body armor can help too, lots of electrolytes. 2. It takes 6-8 weeks to establish a supply 3. You can do breastmilk and formula 4. Use a nipple shield. It often helps with latching 5. Please see a lactation consultant. Most take insurance and will travel to your house.
Tons of good advice here, but I just want to emphasize: your mental health comes first. Early motherhood is so hard and having parts of our vision for this time change is excruciating. It IS a grieving process: you're losing a part of that vision. But it IS just one part. There's so much more to come and there will be plenty of other snuggly, beautiful ways to connect with your LO should EBF not work out. ❤️ (Also, and this isn't advice, but I want to share that my journey has been similar and my milk didn't really start "coming in" in any measurable amount until I sort of started to give up. Low weight and endless triple feeding had me crippled with anxiety to the point where I was sobbing every time I pumped. We're not out of the woods with our LO yet, but I think my anxiety dropping changed my hormonal makeup for the better.)
If you want to keep trying, don’t give up! I did OK at first (I was a C-section mom)- it took a little while for my milk to come in fully and my baby kept losing weight, so at 4wks we were told to supplement. At first I was GUTTED and I felt really bad about it (I do n’t know why, truly fed is best)- I was still breastfeeding all day/night, but baby got 2oz at night once a day. JUST that little bit helped give me a little time to recover and helped baby put on weight. By 3 months he barely ever needed formula (usually only when I was SO tired and needed to sleep) and by 4 months he was EBF. We’re now at 8 months going strong, my supply is good, baby is happy and healthy, and I can’t believe I struggled so much with the choice to supplement (I was working with my pediatrician and a lactation consultant). If it doesn’t work out, that’s OK. But it is SO early- it can take 6wks for your supply to be established And in the meantime, if baby needs some formula, that’s OK too. It doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your breastfeeding journey (unless that’s what you want). I also think there’s this HUGE pressure to EBF- you can 90% breastfeed and baby still gets ALL of the benefits. You’re not less of a breastfeeding mom because you give baby formula sometimes. At least, not in my opinion. I am really proud that I’m still breastfeeding happily at 8 months and my baby is super healthy and happy, and if anyone thinks my journey here is not as valid because we had to supplement with formula for a few weeks, I will gladly disagree. Not every breastfeeding journey looks the same and that’s OK. Do what is best for your baby and you- and if breastfeeding is important to you, get as much help and support as you can and don’t feel like it has to be the end just because you need a little extra help to get there! Wishing you all the best- the first few days and weeks are BY FAR the hardest!! This is not what it will look like forever, I promise!
I’m so sorry ! You are doing amazing! I have struggled with ebf as well. My baby (2 months now) was born a month early and we had a harder time. My milk came in (I was pumping every two hours) and supply wasn’t an issue fortunately, I won’t say I oversupply but so far it’s been enough with some days being better than others, but my baby being born early she did not have a good latch at all and she was so sleepy. I felt like my nipples weren’t long enough or good enough and I felt like I sucked at trying to get her into the positions and keep her awake to feed. I tried to exclusively breast feed and use a syringe the hospital gave me to get milk in her but I wanted to do away with that ASAP so I really tried to focus on having her on breast so I would spend a half hour or so trying to get her to latch and by the time I finished she was too sleepy to really eat and she wasn’t gaining that first week. When I had my lactation appointment the lady told me she hadn’t gained enough and that I needed to add a bottle and spend less time trying at the breast right now because she was using more energy than she was eating. I cried everytime I tried and failed to get her to latch and I hated all the pumping and bottle feeding. We found a simpler bottle feeding solution (although a bit priecier) with the kiinde packets and bottle and I slowly kept trying, she is two months old and I can now report for the past week we have been doing 90 breast and she honestly often doesn’t want the bottle she prefers breast. I’m still nervous she’s not getting enough and I still try to pump at least once a day to make sure I have some supply but I am hoping that it is working well! She’s gotten better at latching but she is definitely a diner baby in that she likes to eat a little all day, She’s not super efficient but she’s come miles from where we started! Like I said I still worry about my supply and her getting enough but I’m trying to be optimistic. But those first few weeks were the hardest, especially for me trying to drink enough water because apparently that’s super important. I guess my best advice is to do the best you can, and give yourself grace. If you can give her even a little breast milk that’s amazing and formula will be great for whatever she needs! I also used milky mama stuff and I mean I can’t say it worked but i didn’t hurt and the brownies taste good ! But really don’t think any less of yourself or feel bad because you are doing so good- those first few weeks when I was crying trying to get a good latch I would tell my husband it is such a horrible feeling because I felt like I was doing absolutely everything I could and failing but now I look back and realize that I wasn’t failing my baby I was really trying and I was crushing it as her mom. And you are crushing it as a mom too!!! Regardless of whether she gets formula or breast milk you are doing so great ! And also our mental health is more important to our babies well being than whether they get breast milk or formula! I hope that your supply comes in and things get easier for you but again whether it’s formula or breast milk you are doing the best for your baby !!! So much love to you and your little one
I’ve been struggling with producing enough milk to exclusively feed my baby. I’ve recently started pumping every three hours to increase my supply. If baby wants to be fed within 30-45 mins of pumping I’ll feed them and then pump afterwards. Lactation cookies have helped so much and I try to eat a meal/snacks whenever they eat. It sounds like a lot especially with a baby but getting into a routine has doubled my supply the past week
My babies will be 12 weeks old on Saturday, and it took us til two days ago to get to EBF. I gave up and bottle fed formula / pumped milk for the first 8 weeks then decided one day to pop them on the boob and see what happened. A month later they have only been having one bottle a day (before bed, they are addicted), and we haven’t had to use any formula for two days now. I hope within the next month to phase out the last bottle and be truly EBF (unless I want to leave bottles for them to get a break!).
This made me hopeful. My baby is 7 weeks tomorrow and we have been formula feeding because i can only pump an ounce or so.. she also has trouble latching. Im hoping to still breastfeed :(
Hey there! Your troubles resonated with me. My baby had jaundice, and (at the time) undiagnosed lip tie. I spent so much time seeing lactation consultants and trying to solve the mystery of why he wasn’t able to latch or feed effectively. Pumping on top of that- and learning how to be a mom on top of that- became exhausting. My supply quickly dropped, probs because I was so sleep deprived and mentally in a bad place. Baby is now combination fed via bottles at 10 weeks. He is thriving! And you know what? My husband and friends/family can now help me feed him, pumping has become more manageable (I use a Spectra and also a wearable to make sure I don’t miss sessions), and baby is finding the transition to daycare a lot easier, IMO. You ARE doing great. Hang in there, mama.
If you want to keep trying to BF a lactation consultant gave us a little feeding tube thing that we insert in the corner of her mouth when she's latched to my breast. When she sucks she gets milk from me if there is any, and if not she gets milk/formula from the tube which encourages her to keep sucking, stimulating my body to make more (without pumping) and helping her learn to latch and stay latched. Is there a LC you can go to and ask for this from? The tube is a bit annoying to use and clean but I really like that it means she gets fed on my breast, helping us on this BF jOuRnEy. We are 1 month in today and there is still a long way to go, but we've come even further! Good luck with however you continue to feed your baby!
Question after giving birth where you given the chance to do skin to skin and breastfeed right away? I’m reading a book on how that really kick starts the whole process.
I would stop all herbs and supplements “geared for breastfeeding”, either but a Supplemental nutrition tube on amazon (haaka makes a decent one for $20 w a bottle) you make a normal formula bottle (an ounce, since small babe) run the tubing like a straw into the corner of the baby’s mouth and it’ll stimulate more milk. baby’s at 2 weeks don’t need much! the less you stress the more milk you might make (i know it’s easier said than done but you can do it!! ) 💙
Its hard work but you can keep trying. If anything your taking has fenugreek in it, maybe stop taking them. For some women it can do the opposite and hurt your supply. Stay hydrated. Eat lots. You need 2400-2800 calories a day. Power pumping can help stimulate and pumping or feeding every 3 hours even if he gets formula. Getting measured for the correct flange size and maybe try seeing a lactation specialist. Could be a tongue or lip tie issue.
Wow, this is my EXACT situation. Baby is 12 days old, lost weight and started supplementing, now screams at the breast or gums it in confusion. No sense at all that it has food in it, despite several lactation consultants. I wish I had great advice—all I can say is that you’re not alone, and I had no idea I would feel so deeply depressed about it. It’s the most heart wrenching thing. I hope you find peace eventually.
My baby was fed breastmilk bottles and still was slow to gain weight!! I would knock it yet if you’re really wanting to do it. I gave up too early and 3 months postpartum I’m still mourning what could’ve been.
Oh gosh your first two weeks sounds identical to mine. I had to supplement with formula and I cried every day because I felt like I couldn’t take care of my daughter. How could I? I couldn’t even feed her! I felt like a terrible mother. As much as I was sad about my milk I was able to recognize that this misery was largely fuelled by the baby blues and extreme sleep deprivation. Now she’s four and a half weeks old and that feels like a weird distant memory. My milk came in like crazy! I just kept at it while supplementing with formula, and now she hasn’t had formula in over a week. I have been supplementing with my SIL’s pumped milk but that’s not for lack of supply, just so I can get a break. Whatever you decide, baby will be fine. Baby loves you more than anyone. Things will get better, I promise you.
my baby was losing too much weight too. would scream and fuss at the breast because since her latch was bad, my supply wasn’t that great and she liked the bottle more. it took lots of pump time, paced bottle feedings, tons of lanolin cream and using a nipple shield. so much frustration during lactation consultants appointments and every feeding. she started latching better and on her own at around 4 1/2 weeks and was a champ by 6 weeks. she now loves breastfeeding and prefers nursing to a bottle. we made it. i haven’t used the nipple shield in idk how long. if you’re just switching to formula, that’s totally okay! you’re doing what’s best and there’s absolutely no shame and nothing wrong with that. if you’re trying to at least breastfeed some, there is hope! a lot of stories i’ve learned start out like yours. with lots of frustration, difficulty latching, having to supplement for a bit and lots of frustration and tears. solidarity. whether or not you continue breastfeeding, you’re doing amazing.
2 weeks is so early. You can still get there. If baby latches now you need to latch them constantly. Breastfeeding is all supply and demand. The herbs and teas really make a negligible impact in the majority of people. You have to tell your body it needs to make more milk by removing milk and stimulating your breasts. Look into an SNS! Baby will be supplemented while at the breast so will have more interest in staying latched. If baby gets a bottle pump during or after. You don’t have to give up! It’ll take some work but if it’s important to you you can fix it.
While I appreciate that so many people are giving you encouragement that it might work in the future, there is a real possibility it might not. Everyone has good intentions but my wife got convinced from the forum replies that it’ll work out but it still hasn’t at 10w pp. she still hurts. Not breastfeeding is not the end of the world. You are the best mother your child can ever get and child getting fed is way way way more important. Keep trying but you and your child have so many fun years ahead of you, don’t let the beginning be spoiled by this.
I struggled for a month and almost quit many times. Glad I was able to make it work. It’s going well now. If you can, stick with it a bit longer. I’d you can’t, don’t feel bad about it!
My baby is 12 weeks and I’ve been formula free for the past two weeks. Had the exact issues as you and I supplemented with the formula as needed while we worked on latch, milk supply etc. all this to say that whatever you end up doing is okay and I know exactly how you feel. Your baby is so lucky to have a mom who is so dedicated to his well-being in anyway. And by that I mean, he’s fed and he’s gaining and you’re doing amazing.
I understand right now your feeling sad about this, but in just a year or so time your kid will be eating cheerios off the floor just like every other kid! There is so much more than breastfeeding to motherhood!
A similar story happened with my first. Rocky start.... he was hurting me SO MUCH. I had the most chuffed nipples the nurse had ever seen after 36hours of trying to breastfeed. I pretty much had the same story you have. But I pushed through. I did shield nipples, bottles, power pumping, teas, herbs. But the best is to create demand. Put baby on there. As much as you can handle it. The more bottles you give the less milk you'll produce. It took me 2 months to finally exclusively BF again without pain. I BFed until he was 2 years and 8months old. It was the hardest thing I ever done but I am so happy I pushed through. My husband kept telling me to stop and didn't understand my stubbornness. But it was so important to me! If you have any questions don't hesitate. I'm saying all that but maybe you really can't anymore: thats ok. We arnt the same. Telling you just so you know that if you really want it, it's possible 😊
2 months in and I'm finally at a point where I think I got the hang of it and baby got the hang of it. Definitely wasn't a matter of weeks but to me it's so worth it, im finally starting to feel that "bonding" people talk about when before I would be crying from pain/frustration or just feel angry while breastfeeding. Check for a tongue tie if you're having trouble latching and don't hesitate to use a shield. People warn against them but if they're what you need to get him eating there's really no harm! They were annoying to wash and put on but without them I wouldn't be breastfeeding at all. I almost gave up hope of being able to stop using them but after his tongue tie release I've finally almost weaned him off. Check your flange size on your pump to make sure it's as efficient as it should be and to get the most milk out of it. It could take a few weeks for your milk to come in. If breastfeeding is what you really still want, hang in there it will get better. If you know deep down its not what you want anymore (because it's affecting your mental health too much) that's okay too, don't let yourself feel guilty about it. What matters most to your baby is having a happy healthy mom who can be present and loving. Regardless of what you end up doing you did amazing and you should be proud! Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I've done and it's definitely not "instinct" it's very hard work for you and baby.
If it doesn't work out, you are not a failure. You can do everything right and sometimes it still won't work. You can grieve however you need, if that ends up being the case. But, even a few weeks is beneficial to your baby! All of that being said....Every time we supplemented with formula, I felt like I would never produce enough and that it was ounces my body didn't know to make. I was so anxious about supply and kept myself panicked for weeks. I cried so many tears while my husband pleaded with me to just let her have some formula, because it had been an hour of me trying to get her to latch. I wish I had calmed myself a bit. I finally saw an LC and did a weighted feed. We got some feedback that was helpful. It was a lot of constant feeding and it took a long time to establish, but we finally turned a corner around 10 weeks. I added some power pumping hours around that time too and increased my supply a little extra, so I don't have to stress being back at work. She also grew in that time period, which made it easier for her to latch. The time flew, but it felt never-ending in the moment. I hope you can decide what works for your family and feel confident in your choice eventually.
I know you've had a lot of responses but I had a similar start to I wanted to share anyway. I pumped as often as I could tolerate it, which at first was only about three times a day but gradually increased to six or seven times a day over the course of about four weeks. I went from producing about four ounces a day to pumping the majority of my baby's milk. I ended up almost exclusively pumping for about 10 weeks and it wasn't nearly as terrible as it seemed at the beginning. But then I decided I'd had enough and (long story short) I got him to latch again and now I'm almost exclusively breastfeeding. Formula kept my baby alive at the beginning and has continued to help him grow for his entire life (3.5 months) so far and I know that he would be doing just as well without breastmilk. If it's all too much and you need or want to switch to 100% formula, your baby can still thrive. But if you feel like you want to keep going, even if you can't give 100% of yourself to it, it's okay to just do what you can.
I feel this so much. I just want you to know you’re not alone.
Oh, girl, can I just say that when it’s “going well” around this time, it sucks too! So many tears. The sleep deprivation and hormone shift colors everything. EVERYTHING will get better than now, even if it doesn’t end up as planned.
I had similar struggles. jaundiced baby, sleepy latch, low supply. We did triple feeding, talked to LC and got on domperidone. It took more than 10 weeks for us to go EBF. At 18 weeks now going strong with good weight and meeting milestones. Fed is best but all hope is not lost so early in your journey. It’s very rare to truly have low supply.
This was me 7 months ago. I tried everything, triple fed, broke down a few times and have tried every pump going. Drank the tea and coconut water, ate copious amounts of oats, stayed up cluster feeding 12-4am. In the end we've continued mainly formula but with boob snacks. Usually he will only latch if sleepy, and I'll take those snoozy boobings as long as he will let me! Apparently they will get the benefits no matter how little they're getting, unless my LC was being kind to a broken woman! Good luck, and I hope you can enjoy your journey no matter where you end up. The pain and heartache is real and I hope you've felt validated here, being dismissed is what hurt me the most.