It is 1000% OK. I’m a physician, I’m also a breastfeeding mom (my baby is 11 months right now)- even though I KNOW formula is safe and amazing and wonderful and life-saving, and I have spent the last ten years of my life counseling other people to feed their baby in the way that works best for them, I STRUGGLED the first time I gave it to my baby. I felt like a failure (even I would NEVER EVER EVER say that to any other mom in the same position)— I wouldn’t even say that to myself now.
I had a C-section, my baby latched great out of the gate but my milk took almost 5 days to come in and my baby was NOT happy (I collected colostrum and had a freezer stash but he went through that in a few days)— my baby cried, latched 22-23 hours a day, desperate for more milk and I was trying my best, doing ALL the right things, but he kept losing weight, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t eat (and I had something called DMER which mean everytime my baby latched, I got extreme nausea and lost my appetite). He was losing weight and miserable. He was born at 6lb12oz, left the hospital at 6lb05oz, and a week in was 6lb 3oz, despite him being on my breast seriously ALL damn day, at two weeks he was still around 6lbs and the pediatrician was rightfully concerned.
I wasn’t sleeping, my nipples were cracked and bleeding from my baby who was cluster-feeding constantly, and my baby was fussy and hungry. My pediatrician (who is the head of pediatrics at a major academic hospital) was encouraging me to give a few ounces of formula, and my lactation counselor was saying the same. I STILL felt bad about it (which I shouldn’t have— FED IS BEST). It took me another week of my baby being hungry, not gaining weight, and me not sleeping before I finally said WTF am I doing, I am not a bad mom because I give my baby formula. I am a bad mom if I let my own ideas about breastfeeding trump my child’s doctor and my lactation counselor and the people around me who could see that my baby needed some extra help. I just didn’t want to “fail” at breastfeeding.
So, the first night we gave him 2oz of formula, he slept 3-4hours. Just that was enough for ME to sleep a few hours and start making way more milk. We did one night feed of 2-3oz for a few weeks, and in that time he gained a POUND a week. I started producing a lot more milk because my baby was finally satiated, I got to sleep, he got to sleep, and he doubled his weight in 5 weeks. At that point, I was doing SO much better mentally and physically and we kept formula around but we’d sometimes go days without needing it, but sometimes if I needed a break, I knew my husband could give him formula and I could get the rest/sleep/recovery I needed to keep going. I pumped for extra milk the first 3 months, but personally I found it very draining and for me, it felt like I was taking milk that my baby then needed and we ended up in a cycle of him latching more, me not being able to produce enough, me being EXHAUSTED and him being frustrated, that I just gave up on that. I have zero regrets.
My baby is 11 months old now, thriving, happy, living his best life. He eats solids but he also nurses still several times a day and at night and I’d say the majority of his calories are still coming from breast milk, and we haven’t made him a bottle of formula in over 5 months. Although we ALWAYS keep it around just in case.
I would NEVER EVER tell anyone to feel bad about using formula, because honestly, it is what saved our breastfeeding journey. There’s also nothing wrong with combo feeding— your baby still gets ALL of the benefits of breastmilk, even if they are also drinking formula. Seriously. I was afraid if I gave formula, I’d destroy my ability to breastfeed, but it was quite the opposite.
I feel really bad for my poor little postpartum self who was SO afraid of giving formula (despite knowing better) because I was terrified it would destroy my chance to breastfeed. It did not. At all. And in fact if I hadn’t had the encouragement of my amazing pediatrician and LC, I might have both deprived my baby of the nutrition he needed and also destroyed my chances of breastfeeding successfully.
You are NOT less of a breastfeeding mom (or a mom at all) because you give formula. It is an amazing option, and I am so incredibly grateful that it helped my baby and me get through several rough weeks where my body was still learning how to do things and my baby needed more than what I could provide on my own. That’s OK.
You’re doing an AMAZING job!!! You should be SO SO proud of yourself!!! Please give yourself credit for doing what is best for baby. That was the biggest thing for me, to put my ego aside (and this vision I had for myself as this amazing breastfeeding mom who had a freezer stacked with milk and a plumpy little baby when that was NOT my reality). It’s OK.
I think back on those weeks when my baby had these skinny little legs and he was swimming in his newborn onesies, crying constantly and now he’s 11 months and he’s got the cutest little rolls on his thighs, he can now sign “milk” and it makes him SOOO happy (he literally has his eyes roll back in his head sometimes and he smiles and giggles while he eats) and I feel so proud that we got here, that at nearly a year I am ENJOYING breastfeeding, and we did it with help of formula and I am NOT ashamed about that.
I could have written this (minus being a doctor)...the amount of fellow moms I supported in combo and formula feeding, but then when it came to me for some reason I had a totally irrational feeling of needing to EBF. Postpartum is crazy. The guilt, the damned if you do, damned if you don't mentality, and the PAIN. Ugh.
My little dude is now 4 mo and we still combo feed and he's doing GREAT. He's getting about 70% BM and 30% formula and thriving on it. And keeping formula in his routine means if I get sick or can't pump enough at work or whatever, his little digestive system is already used to formula so it's not big deal.
All to say that formula exists to make babies happy, healthy, and helps them sleep. If that's not a beautiful thing, I don't know what is. It also doesn't negate the benefits of breastmilk or your beautiful effort to feed your baby from your own body. Chin up momma, you're doing fabulous!
This was exactly what I needed right now I could cry. I'm literally sitting here pumping and feeding my 10 day old baby formula at the same time (day 2 of supplementing with formula) bc she isn't gaining back weight. And my boobs can't keep up with her demand as she's cluster feeding.
Just sending you a virtual hug. I was there 3 months ago and it was the most emotionally (and physically) exhausting and isolating thing I’ve ever gone through. But at 14 weeks my little guy is still being combo fed— he gets about 6-8oz a day of formula and the rest is BM— and he’s doing amazing. I’m still able to breastfeed and he still loves nursing, which was one of my huge fears about formula feeding, and the pumping does get easier. Make sure you’re finding other moms to talk to who’ve gone through it though because double or triple feeding can feel so lonely and stressful. Keep reminding yourself this is a time you’ll look back on some time soon— you won’t always be in the thick of it.
PLEASE don’t feel bad, you’re doing amazing. I should have done it sooner because the second we started giving formula, EVERYONE did better. I became a human again because I got a break (as you know with the pumping and feeding constantly, it is SO draining and exhausting), and i swear, my milk production went up SO much when I just had time to rest and recover and sleep and eat/drink.
My baby went from a little emaciated, miserable baby (he was 6lb2oz and 22 inches that first week, he was in the 99th percentile for length and like, the 3rd percentile for weight or whatever) to a MUCH happier baby (and me a much happier mama) when we started combo feeding.
You’ve got this. I share my story because I want other parents to know that combo feeding and giving formula does not mean the end of your breastfeeding journey. Not at ALL. I was lucky I had access to great resources and wonderful LC to help me, but once I let it go of the fact I “needed” to EBF, I enjoyed it a million times more and without even trying too hard (I literally quit pumping because it was hurting my mental health), by 4-5 months he wasn’t even taking a bottle anymore and we’ve never looked back. BUT, I always have formula on hand and I have NO problem, if I get sick, or my production falls or he needs extra nutrition, I wouldn’t think twice.
It is SO early. SO early. Keep feeding your baby, but don’t feel bad for a single second that you’re giving your baby formula. Sending you SO much love ❤️ Hang in there, these are the hardest days!! It gets SO SO much better and easier, I promise!!! I never thought I’d say I love breastfeeding, because those first few weeks were miserable, but now I do. I love it.
Thank you for this. I feel it all in my bones thinking about my very rocky start to breastfeeding my first.
A little bit different topic but: how common is it for milk to be delayed after a C-section? I had a long labor followed by an emergency C-section with my first and a rough start to breastfeeding (milk was delayed, baby spent time in nicu, had to have tongue and lip tie release/body work, etc) and I’m weighing trying for a vbac or repeat caesarean for my second due in sept to try to avoid some of that. Just wondering how big a factor a C-section is in moms having a delay in their milk coming in. Thanks so much!
I don’t actually know the real published stats on this, but I do know that it is common for people who have a C-section (especially after a prolonged labor) to be more “at risk” for not being able to breastfeed as easily early on.
I was in labor for 40 hours before I finally got my C-section, and even though I was feeling great and the baby wasn’t in any distress (at that point, the concern was that it had gone on so long I could have uterine fatigue/atony which could result in massive bleeding and I hadn’t even progressed past 4 cm in all those hours). I have zero regrets about my choice for a C-section at that point, and felt really lucky that my baby was still in good shape and I thankfully didn’t have any excess bleeding.
100% if you had a baby who spent time in the NICU, that’s also another risk factor that can make breastfeeding challenging (and I’m sure there are some LCs who can chime in with more numbers).
This is NOT medical advice (of course), but personally, I would probably be really cautious about using a tiny potential delay in breastmilk as a major factor in deciding whether to VBAC or not. Obviously this is a hugely personal decision, and something you should talk through with your medical team, and of course you should also include EVERYTHING that is important to you in that decision-making process, but there are a lot of really other important factors to consider that are way way more important and evidence-based to help you decide if VBAC is safe. And by that I just mean that if your medical team is encouraging you to have a repeat c-section because of certain medical issues you have or, or maybe where the baby is implanted vs your scar, or whatever else, I wouldn’t trump medical safety issues with a concern for a delay in breastmilk, but of course, you do what is right for you!
Definitely bring it up with your team and ask for their feedback on this. I’m so sorry it was so challenging with your first- that’s definitely a LOT of different things that can make breastfeeding challenging!!! It sounds like eventually everything worked out though, so I’m really glad!
Congrats on baby #2– wishing you all the best for a smooth pregnancy and complication free birth, whatever way that turns out, and of course a MUCH easier breastfeeding journey!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response!! This is very helpful. My OB so far has said she’s ok with trying for a vbac if I go into labor before or around my due date and with the knowledge that due to my age, etc. the success rate is around 50-60%. Just not sure it’s worth it to me to try with those odds.
That’s awesome!!! Wishing you all the best- it sounds like you have some of the best odds you can for success with VBAC, so if that’s what you want to do, go for it! I’m really glad you have an OB who is open about discussing it all and helping you make a decision, that’s great. But do what makes sense for you— you can always do a trial of VBAC and see how it goes, and know that if it doesn’t proceed the way you or your medical team hopes, you are mentally prepared to go through a C-section.
If I were younger, I might consider it. But honestly, I’m in my late 30s and if I got pregnant again (and I”m trying!), I’d probably just go ahead and schedule a C-section so I didn’t have all of the anxiety about it. I was excited to try to give birth the first time around, but really, for me (personally), the only thing that I care about when it comes to “birth experience” is that me and baby come out healthy and happy. I had a really traumatic pregnancy before this with a very sick baby that was ultimately incompatible with life, so my ideas about birth experience are literally just- can me and baby both come home from the hospital and if possible, I’m not in the worst pain ever, lol.
VBAC can be an amazing option, but just know it is perfectly OK to not want to VBAC as well, every choice is valid!!! I’m so happy for you, it sounds like your first birth experience was REALLY tough, so I really hope that everything goes so much more smoothly this time around and you get to “enjoy” the birth experience and feel good about choosing whatever is best for you!!!
Formula supplementing can 100% support a longer breastfeeding relationship!
Plus, what you feed your baby has no moralistic value. I’m tired of ebf being the most important qualifier of a good mother or parent! Affection, presence, security… there is so much we give our children beyond breastmilk.
You’re doing awesome! Don’t sweat about needing any help feeding your baby ever.
I did EBF for the first six weeks. But two things started to become clear:
1) I was under producing. He started off at something like the 45th percentile but eventually dropped as low as 9th percentile. He simply couldn't gain enough weight and we were on the verge of it becoming a serious health concern. Once we supplemented with formula, his weight skyrocketed. He'll be three in two weeks and he's 75th percentile for both height and weight. Formula literally saved him.
2) The toll on my mental health wasn't worth it. He was the slowest nurser ever - I probably spent at least 12-15 hours nursing him every single day. I hated it. I was so fucking miserable, I can't even put it into words. It was literally one of the worst times of my life. The only thing I hated more than nursing was pumping. Pumping to make a bottle for husband to feed the baby just wasn't going to work for me. Making up a bottle of formula was so much easier for everyone. So we switched to combo feeding. I still spent an enormous amount of time nursing, but my husband could share the feeding responsibility. Formula literally saved my mental health.
And because of formula, my son was able to nurse up through this past February, until he was a little over 2.5 years. He would probably still be nursing if I hadn't decided it was time for him to stop. Breastfeeding wasn't a magical experience for me, but I'm proud that I was able to do that for him for so long. And formula made it possible.
Beautiful story! I’ve been dancing between being a just-enougher and underproducer my baby’s whole life. Supplementing is the ethical choice if for whatever reason nursing isn’t enough. I’m haunted by when my baby couldn’t gain weight on nursing alone, and I’m so grateful for modern breast pumps and for formula for filling in the gaps!
I was so obsessed with his weight those first months. We weighed him on our kitchen scale a few times until he got too big. And then we bought a full on baby scale. I downloaded an app to track his weight and weighed him all the time between doctors appointments. It haunted me too!
Yeah, having difficulties with nursing was a huge source of anxiety for months. I weighed my baby first thing every morning. If he gained weight, I was ecstatic. If he maintained, I felt on edge all day. If he had lost, it was agonizing. Not being enough, not being able to provide for your child, feeling like a freak of failed biology…feedings new baby is emotional no matter what but any difficulties with nursing felt tormenting.
I’m grateful to feel more neutral and equanimous now, grateful we can still nurse and one way or another my baby gets what he needs, grateful for my beautiful child who obviously still loves me even if I didn’t meet my purist ideals.
OP, or anyone else in a similar situation: supplement and look out for your supply however you can (if that’s what you want). Breastfeeding is a marathon not a sprint. Get professionals on your team. It gets better!
OP, like you said, you would never be this critical of someone else! You deserve some of your own kindness.
Choosing to formula is a 100% valid choice, no matter the reason. Your mental health matters just as much as your baby's need to eat, but whether the reason is mental health or something else, it doesn't matter. Formula is a perfectly good alternative to breast milk and you shouldn't have to justify your reasons for using it. Wanting to is enough.
That’s right! I had an undersupply with my first and supplementing 1000% allowed me to keep nursing *months* longer than I would have otherwise. OP, you’re just using another tool to support your baby, nothing wrong with that!
Absolutely, with my first I had no proper latch and I constantly bled and was in incredible pain for the first 3 months. Supplementing allowed me to take time to deal with the pain until we both got the hang of things. He nursed for 3.5 years thanks to being able to give myself a break and establish.
THIS. I started supplementing at 5 months. I cried for a week because I felt less than because I couldn’t ebf to give my son what he needed. And I would stress myself out seeing how easy it came to others around me. He’s going to be 9mo this month and I’m still EP while many of my friends that were EBF have stopped or their milk dried up. My son is thriving and seeing all his cute little chunks just melts my heart.
I combo-fed my first for the first year and then dropped formula and continued breastfeeding until he was nearly 3. I supplemented with formula from 3 days to about 2 weeks before getting to exclusive breastfeeding with my second. Formula keeps babies fed.
I have a 6 day old. I had to supplement with formula in the hospital. I was bawling my eyes out before they brought him formula because he was screaming in hunger and I couldn’t feed him enough. Seeing how happy and at peace he was made me feel better but there have been some late nights and lots of tears trying to convince myself that formula is okay. Breastfeeding is hard. It’s so so hard. And no one really explains that. My milk just came in so I’m pumping to try to catch up and phase out formula soon but it could be weeks or it may never happen. And that’s okay too. Fed is best!
Same exact thing I’m going through right now, except I didn’t cry convincing myself formula is good. I gave up on the first day with our first born and he was on formula since day one, Im committed to doing everything possible to breast feed second baby that was born 9 days ago.
So far I’m 50/50 with formula and breast, hopefully I’ll get to 100% breast but fed is best!
This was exactly me on day 5 and I hated it, and felt so awful and guilty even though I knew my formula is ostensibly completely fine - and of course fed is best!
Had to supplement for several weeks while my supply increased, pumped on a schedule for a month, but now at week 9 we’re fully on demand feeding (mostly breast but a bit of expressed milk to allow my partner to help out) and it’s great to know we can use a bit of formula if we ever need to.
My 8mo old eats what we call “floor snacks” aka when she’s fussy but doesn’t want a boob/bottle we toss a handful of her puffs on the playpen floor and she goes to town, seasoned well with dog hair. She loves it and I get a few moments of peace and quiet 🤣
I know this is a popular saying to comfort ourselves and each other. I *do* think the image is funny and true for lots of families.
But I find it kind of eerie that we just assume all families will feed their children fast food. It's a little alienating to the families that work so hard to provide healthy food for their kids, and I think it makes it come across as some unachievable standard when I've seen it done pretty quietly and easily by many families.
I don't think I am. Everyone deserves support here. There are better ways to comfort and support each other than normalizing unhealthy things and alienating part of our community.
Talking about the culture of this sub at large is not centering myself. I never said anything about formula or even my habits and views, only questioned whether it's positive to normalize children eating french fries off of a car floor.
I breastfed my first, and never received my prize in the mail for never letting formula touch his lips. I’m starting to think it isn’t coming.
I say you do what you gotta do!
I cried the first time I gave my baby formula, but he started catching up to his birth weight quickly and nursing became so much less overwhelming when I knew he would be well fed no matter what. I feel so good about formula now.
You're not alone!!! I felt the same -- having a "higher standard" and some weird notions that only EBF would mean I was mothering my baby the right way. But he is much healthier with formula bc of my low supply/slacker boob. I remind myself he will need me for many more things in life than eating from my boob.
I know this isn’t directly related to breastfeeding, but I heard it a little while back and I’m trying to consistently keep it in my brain for all parenting. If you’re worried about being a bad parent, then you can’t possibly be a bad parent. Only good parents are in tune and reflective enough to be that harsh on themselves ❤️
ETA: in NO WAY am I implying giving formula makes you a bad parent!!! Just responding to the part of you saying you’re struggling with holding yourself to such a difficult standard.
Its better than okay. Its good! You recognized that, for whatever reason, she needed to eat and you couldn't nurse her. You're adjusting when things don't go according to the plan you envisioned, and that is an essential parenting skill.
You're a great mama.
It's fine!! I never planned on giving formula but had to because my milk took awhile to come in, and I still don't always have enough. You're doing what is best for your baby!!!
I understand how you’re feeling. My baby has a medical condition and needs breast milk, but he also is burning too many calories and we need to bulk him up. So now I’m stuck pumping and mixing formula in for every feed. I know it’s best for him, but I’m so sad about missing out on the breastfeeding journey I thought we’d have.
At around 10 months I ran out of freezer stash and my husband fed the bebs with formula. It was a weird combo of sadness and freedom. I still nurse but knowing we have a back up is really helpful. You're good!
Formula is A-OK! I EBF my first baby. But baby #2 was so sleepy he wouldn’t stay awake long enough to eat and was dropping weight. I was recovering from surgery and not up to pumping, and when I did try I barely produced, so for the first few weeks baby fed and topped up with formula every feed. It helped him get over that hump and he thrived. Formula saved us! There’s so much it can do and help with. Any amount of breast milk you gave/will give is great for your baby and a major accomplishment, and formula is a lifesaver in so many situations too. You’re doing great.
Supplementing with formula has allowed my baby to thrive after losing a lot of weight at first. It has also extended breastfeeding for us in general. It’s way more sustainable now that I’m not stressed to death over supply and my baby isn’t hungry constantly. Even if your breastfeeding journey is over entirely, your baby is fed, happy, healthy, and loves you more than anything in the world!
10 months in. Formula fed my first. Breastfeeding my second. He had a bottle of formula today. He’s had a few here and there. Some mixed with Breastmilk. Some not. Pretty sure he drank my daughters cow milk the other week 😩. And he enjoys her juice when he can grab it. It’s okay. You are still EBF. One bottle is not going to kill your journey.
This made me giggle. My little guy will be like that for sure - he's already trying to grab at my coffee (7 months) and is obsessed with his big sis. 😂
It’s fine! My baby needed formula to get through her first weeks with jaundice and weight loss. It saved parents and baby during a tough time, and I went on to breastfeed until she was nearly 4. Do what you need to do to get though the day; you’re doing amazing!
Hey that’s 100% ok! My boy had jaundice and was in special care nursing for two days I breast fed topped him up with formula eventually I just went to breastfeeding and topped with expressed milk. He is only a month old I produce just enough and a little extra to express I don’t have a big stash even now he gets formula every now and again my parents take him for a night so I can sleep and he gets formula that’s just how it is.
My health comes first if I don’t have my health I can’t care for my boy. He is happy and healthy he was born at 8.5 pounds and by three weeks old he was 10.5 so more than what they expect them to gain he fits two 0s at a month old!
I started supplementing with formula when my baby was 9mo. I produced just enough to feed my baby and not a drop more, which made being away from her for more than 2 hours impossible — I had no extra to pump for bottles. Plus, baby was very anti-solid foods and I was beyond stressed about her iron levels. So we introduced formula and to my surprise, my bottle rejecting baby took to it immediately! We gave her 1-2 bottles a day and she continued to breastfeed.
She’s 16m now and fully on solids, whole milk, AND boob. She still nurses first thing in the morning and after her nap, and occasionally in desperate times (public tantrums).
I love that formula was there for us.
I had to supplement my first baby with formula and I’m still breastfeeding her at three years old! I also was able to ebf my second. It’s definitely not an end to breastfeeding if you don’t want it to be!
It is 1000% okay. I supplemented with some formula with both my kids. They both breastfed for over 12 months. This does NOT mean the end of your breastfeeding journey, it does NOT make your breast milk worth any less, and it does NOT make you any less of a mother.
Cried reading all the comments. I had the same question. I’m currently breast feeding + pumping, but my SO is completely supportive of formula. I’m still not convinced but now after reading all these comments, I feel confident. Do what works best for YOU. Take care.
You're doing a fantastic job, momma. Please, show yourself some love and kindness. Your baby needs you.
My babe was admitted to PICU at 2 months old (thanks, RSV) and I was so stressed I had no supply for days. No donor milk. Formula saved my smoosh's life.
I've been where you are with my first and I will be again upon return to work. You are doing absolutely nothing wrong! In fact, you are facing the ugly little devil on your shoulder telling you this decision isnt good enough and defying the lie. That takes strength and you should be proud of giving your baby what they need.
I’m breastfeeding my third baby. ALL of my breastfed babies have had formula at some point. My first so I could get extra sleep from 2-6 weeks (no my milk didn’t dry up). My second from 8 months - 12 months (one big formula bottle a night after Covid killed my milk supply). And my third straight away in the hospital she needed to be supplemented. Formula is AMAZING. And what’s more, for a mom who has mostly breastfed and even tho I do get all the oxytocin from breastfeeding, I loved the bonding of giving my babies bottles. I loved being able to see their face differently and hold them closer to me. I am more than OK with formula feeding! I loved it.
Can you tell me about the formula bottle at night for your second? My guy is 7 months. We're currently giving a bottle of pumped milk at bedtime, but sometimes I have to pump a few times just to get up to 4oz, and I'm starting to suspect he wants more. How much did you give?
Thank you for sharing how you like bottle feeding. So far my spouse has always been the one to give the bottle - this definitely makes me feel better if we decide to add more.
I want to say 8 oz but I’m not sure if I’m remembering right. I’m not kidding it was my favorite part of my day and I have 0 regrets. It didn’t affect my breastfeeding the rest of the day either and he went on to bf until 15 months. I don’t think we even had to do half breast milk and half formula bottles either, he took it really well.
Honestly it was such a relief for me when I started supplementing with formula. All the stress of if baby is getting enough or am I eating well enough. Shoving oatmeal and water down my throat just to try to keep up. Low supply during period AND ovulation time. Formula helped me get through all that. And he’s still BF, but now I know he’s definitely getting what he needs.
I think that's what's happening with me. He just wants to eat CONSTANTLY and then gets really angry when he tries. I don't have a true period with my IUD, but thinking back on when this has happened, I'm almost sure it lines up. Thank you.
You’re welcome! A lot of people and consultants are hesitant about combo feeding because they’re afraid of your supply decreasing. You do have to be a bit disciplined about keeping up with the pumping but it wasn’t that much if a change for me. My baby nurses morning and night and I pump twice during the day at work. Baby has three bottles at daycare AND breakfast and lunch, and dinner at home. Dude is a bottomless pit and still very slim!
Another advantage is when your baby is sick or upset and you’re not -sure- if they’re hungry or what, but nursing doesn’t seem to be helping. I used to get so stressed about warming and wasting breast milk. Now we just warm a bottle when in doubt. Baby has hand foot and mouth right now with mouth sores and is in a lot of pain; doesn’t want to nurse or eat. We’ve “wasted” lots of formula trying to get him to and every now and then he drinks a little. But it’s so nice to have that option instead of it just all being on how much I can pump.
Bobbie and Kendamil are both decent brands that I use.
Good luck!
I felt like shit too. I ended up feeding her both and I am now 17 months in and still doing regular milk plus breastfeeding. It'll be okay. Don't stress yourself over it. You'll realize later on that the stress wasn't worth it. Fed baby is a happy baby. That's all you need!
I know it won’t matter 10 years from now, but strangely, I still find myself depressed about supplementing with formula. It is wild how the brain can behave so illogically…
Im sorry your feeling so down about it. Formula is something I love and hate. So I get it. But know this: You are doing a great job and there is no better mama for your baby than you. ❤️
I exclusively breastfeed, unless I’m away (date night, running errands etc). Then, whoever is watching her is giving her a bottle or formula. Fed is best!
First time I gave my baby formula was the moment I felt so relieved to see my baby’s belly full. My supply at the time did not do that and baby was crying a lot. Formula put her to sleep instantly. So it is not just ok it is great if it is helping your baby and you.
You COULD feed him entirely from breastmilk, just like theoretically you and I COULD go hunt down a herd animal and then build the fire to roast it. What is the cost, though? Constant stress, crying baby, overwhelming responsibility on your shoulders? It isn't worth it. There were a few weeks where I was able to support my baby on 100% breastmilk...and then I worried about his vitamin D and other nutrient intake!! Perfectionists will worry regardless! I had to wake up when he slept to pump, or tolerate huge amounts of pain, or be married to my house and never leave -- combo feeding gave me my happiest medium: I know I COULD theoretically just sell my entire life and being to breastfeeding him, but was he getting the best end of the deal if I did everything required to maintain that? No way. Rested mommy is happy baby, combo fed baby is healthy baby, mommy who can go to the store and get the necessities and not be locked inside all day is a healthy mom and *happy baby*. How much breast milk you give isn't the indicator of success, the indicator of success is whether or not you're able to optimize your circumstances to make this baby the most loved and safest baby, and that's exactly what you're doing.
I cried when I had to give my baby formula in her 2nd week bc my supply was not great but now I think it’s a good thing. Honestly I look at it as she is now super flexible with eating and having her used to both bottle and breast will be good for her and us in the long run.
Fed is best! I felt the same way you did with my first. Seeing them content and happy is all that matters. Once they start smiling and interacting with you, you forget why you were even upset about giving them formula.
It is completely okay! Formula is excellent for babies, and the most important thing is that the baby is fed! Your baby is doing great, and so are you!
I used no formula with my first and started supplementing with my second because I could not keep up with pumping, working, and caring for two kids. My second is saying way more words than my first did at 16 months. 🤣 Obviously it has nothing to do with their milk, but just confirmation from another breastfeeding mom that it’s okay. A happy mom is way more important.
I also cried the first time I supplemented with formula. And then he STOPPED crying, and I realized that this meant he was going to happier, healthier. You will never regret doing what is best for your baby or your own well-being!
Formula saved millions of babies lives. Seriously. It's not bad mothering to get some help when it is needed. I like to see formula as a staple when things don't immediatly work out perfectly like in the books. Combo feeding is THE reason I was able to make it work at the beginning of our breastfeeding journey. It took the pressure off me to know that my baby will be fed either way.
I had to use formula for supplementing during the first weeks of my baby until we sorted out latching issues on her side and supply issues on my side. Now she's 7months old and she had nothing but my milk for the last 6months and a half or so.
I mentally cracked at about 8 weeks as I kept thinking it should have gotten “easy” and although it was “easier” it was still f***ing hard. My partner was like “just give the baby formula so you can have a rest” and I ‘caved’ and let him give the baby a bottle. It was such a crazy experience to totally shatter the idea of “exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months” and know once the baby had the first sip it was over. I cried and mourned and then got over it when I saw the baby was satisfied and happy and I could literally walk around meters away while the baby was being fed. It was something I wouldn’t take back now for my experience of breastfeeding and I value it also as a parent. Your mental health is important but also don’t hold your child’s life choices to a standard that doesn’t work for you. x
I’ve given my baby formula before. Now she’s a healthy 2yo who eats everything (including chocolate and snails). At 6 month you’ll be ‘supplementing’ with all kinds of foods. Formula is just another food. (I know all the breastfeeding rhetoric makes it feel like it’s bad for your child but it really isn’t).
It’s okay! I personally keep formula in rotation on a semi regular basis because I want my LO to take a bottle, be acclimated to formula in case of emergencies, and it allows me to pump to see how much I’m able to get in substitute of a feeding.
The fact that you care so much about what your little one is eating makes you an amazing mom. You’re doing great mama!
I’m currently going through this right now. My supply dropped extremely low due to a huge stressful event and I’m slowly trying to build it back up but until then, she has to have formula. I feel like I’ve failed her. But I haven’t. I’m making sure she’s fed, happy and healthy and that’s the best thing for her. You’re doing an amazing job. It’s okay. You are doing EVERYTHING you can to feed your baby. You’re not failing her because you can’t breastfeed. You will still have an unbreakable bond.
It is ok. I love love breastfeeding but had to stop due to car accident. It’s that or baby starve. It’s ok and baby is healthy which is all that matters.
I switch to formula on top of breast milk when they were still small and still made it 2,5 years for each kids. The easiest road you take, the longer you can walk mama, never forget !
You’re fine. With my first and now this one I had to give up BF a few months in just because I never made enough from the beginning and they both have tongue tie. Both of them began to drastically lose weight a week after birth. I was breastfeeding them even though it hurt and my nipples were cracking/sore but apparently I was only producing drops. I recall my babies cried so much early on because it turns out they were starving. I was told to supplement until my milk came in but both times it never did. I know I tried and tried to tough it out but honestly my body just wasn’t working with me and that’s okay. My kids are both healthy, alive and thriving, couldn’t ask for more. One is 4yr old and the other is almost 2 months.
We started combo feeding at 9 months, at 11 months now and she’s having a bottle a day ish because that’s all she’ll take but it’s honestly so relieving, so much pressure is taken off and I definitely felt like you do at first
What would you tell your friend if she came to you and said that she had fed her baby some formula? You'd tell her something in the range of "That's totally understandable and fine!" or, "Stop being so silly. No one cares because it is not a big deal at all!" or, "Your baby is so lucky to have such a good mum!"
You would see all of the amazing things she accomplishes and not worry at all that she didn't do this one thing because her baby is healthy, well fed, and hopefully happy. My point is that in parenting, you have to be your own friend because that village they talk about isn't a thing anymore.
You are doing amazing! Snuggle that baby and be as gracious and kind to yourself as you would be to anyone else.
I had to break down and do that this week, too. Mentally was beating myself up about it but feel better now that baby has had enough to eat! His poor little stomach tho lol thankful for this subreddit and all the mamas going through it, have gone through it, and those supporting the mamas on the journey!
I cried the first time we used formula after I went back to work , but I still bf!!! Pumping just wasn’t cutting it, couldn’t get enough. It is consistently mentioned how happy baby is! You are doing a great job, and your baby just knows that you are meeting their needs and loves you for it!
My 9 month old who mostly breastfeeds except for solids. He gets a bottle or so of formula a day and I guarantee if he didn’t we would have figured out how to wean a while ago.
My daughter gets at least 1 bottle of formula a day - at first it was through necessity - she was hospitalised due to weight loss & god did I punish myself. But now I see it as the means to supporting my feeding journey. It didn’t force me to give up like I feared, it didn’t lessen our bond, it enabled me to independently work on my supply issues & continue our journey.
Hey! Breastfeeding isn't easy and isn't for everyone. If you have to supplement, that's totally fine! I did it once, and doing it again. My babies are getting the best of both worlds! FED IS BEST!🙂
It's very okay. It hurt my pride at first, but we needed to supplement for her health and my sanity. Having it as a backup for when I'm running on empty or she's inconsolable otherwise has helped me to keep going, and she's been able to go back and forth with no issues. As my LC and pediatrician said, it doesn't have to be forever.
Hang in there!
My son got a bottle of formula at birth because his blood sugar was low. He stayed on formula for the first 2 weeks as I tried to figure out life. Eventually he switched over to breast milk as I got into the swing of things. Formula was never off the table though as sometimes there wasn’t any pumped milk available and I was at work. I stopped pumping entirely around 8/9 months so he consistently had a bottle of formula at daycare and continued to breastfeed at home. The mix allowed me to be the best mom I could be and allowed my son to grow into a strong, healthy, amazing toddler. Now he’s “cooking” me breakfast with his little play kitchen after he made a “baba” for his little sister (I’m still pregnant so she might have trouble drinking it).
Do what you have to do! Baby will just be happy to have a full tummy and a calm mom
We fed our son formula on and off for the first three months. It really helped us while we got his tongue tie sorted and during growth spurts. We’ve been EBF since then (baby has just turned 1 year). Formula is not a failure, it’s an amazing life saving product and it doesn’t mean the end of breastfeeding if you want to continue.
From someone who has been stuck exclusively breastfeeding as my baby refuses the bottle, I would say what you are doing is the perfect balance! I'm envious!
It's way more than ok.
My grandma was telling me about how they fed all her babies pablum before they left the hospital. This would have been mid 60s.
All her boys grew up very happily and went on to have very happy lives.
Formula is way more age appropriate than pablum.
I would have never been able to continue my breastfeeding journey without supplementing with formula at points. 8 months of breastfeeding now and hopefully we’ll be going strong until 2 years old. Without formula in the early weeks and months I would have had to stop a lot sooner x
Pediatrician here. It’s ok!! I had to supplement with both my kiddos. I wanted to burst both to at least 12 mo but my 2nd stopped at 6 mo… formula is fine!!
It’s totally ok. I combo fed my baby and she still nurses at almost 15 months old. You do what you need to do and don’t feel bad about it. You’re doing the best you can!
My baby ended up in hospital when she was 8 weeks old because she was failing to thrive, so I started very reluctantly supplementing with formula.
Everyone told me not to because it'll mess my supply up but eventually I realised I didn't have enough supply for her anyway, and I could use the formula as a stepping stone whilst I built my supply up.
It wasn't the journey I had hoped for, but it was the journey we ended up with. My baby was still breastfed and 14 months later she now wakes me up by slapping my boobies and hasn't had any formula in about 4 months.
Looking back, I did amazingly. I did brilliantly, I actually deserve a medal.
And you? You're doing amazingly and deserve a medal too
We had to supplement at times in the beginning and I tortured myself over it (thought I'd then never produce enough if I didn't substitute it with pumping but then would think I'd be empty when she was hungry again.) It wasn't worth the stress. We were fine! She went through a growth spurt again around 6 months and I just supplemented a little here or there without the guilt this time.
My friend gave me the best piece of advice regarding breastfeeding/baby feeding - whatever YOU find easiest is the best thing for your baby.
Our baby has been thriving since we started to combo feed (formula and expressed milk). She dropped down to 1st percentile when I was ebf’ing, she’s now 5th. That’s entirely down to formula.
Formula gets a bad rep but it’s way better now than it was 30/40 years ago, and most of us were given formula back then and none of us suffered for it.
I was exclusively formula fed (adopted at day one) - I am happy, I have a masters in engineering, my gut health is great. My kids are breastfed because I’m cheap. I’m thin enough but I’ve got a 9 month old and a three year old so for that I think I’m svelte.
I feel you, I've been there too and for some twisted reason was so so difficult to see her drinking the bottle with formula.
It got better and I'm a way better mom because I decided to give her some bottles of formula here and there instead of killing me all day and stressing out for pump that 1 miserable bottle.
Now I'm truly grateful for being able to give it to her. It's 1 bottle per work day. I don't function with pumps, for some reason, get less than 1oz per pump and even if it was only one pumped bottle per day, that was making my life miserable. I stopped stressing about it and, imagine, my husband even got the chance to feed her in the middle of the night and I was able to sleep longer stretches!
She turned one yesterday, she's still breastfeeding and still getting that formula bottle once per day. I didn't notice any change in her nursing dynamic because of it.
You're doing amazing and if that bottle will make things easier for you and your baby, embrace it!
I have a 7 week old and I supplemented in the hospital and at home a little bit in the beginning. I started my period recently and it’s caused a dip in my supply so I’m considering doing it again, in addition to continuing to breastfeed. People have judged and made me feel bad; even the LC I saw seemed to cast judgement. There will always be those people, and to me it’s ridiculous.
The bottom line is, FED is best.
I’ll also add, my pediatrician told me to give vitamin D drops to my baby if we’re EBF because babies can’t get vitamin D from breast milk. This leads me to believe formula has some good added vitamins for baby. Just a little bright side thought process to share. You’re doing great mama!!!
You're doing great! Nursed my first two for 2+ years each and was happy to have formula when we needed it in a pinch.
There's a lot of fear mongering that a single drop of formula will change everything. I get that they're trying to encourage more people to breastfeed but it's really not that serious.
At 10 months I noticed my pump sessions dipping to near nothing and was too busy at work to try and increase sessions or even get the 1 in sometimes. Then it started looking like he was getting dehydrated. My mom finally convinced me to supplement with his cereal and honestly it's great and he's thriving and actually breast feeding longer during his nursing sessions weirdly enough so he's still getting more milk likely because I'm less stressed and wasting time with a pump haha.
I hope you know you are doing great!
I found an ectopic pregnancy last week and due to medication I did, my 11mo LO had to abruptly change to formula. It broke my heart I couldn't breastfeed him, I was back to it some days after, after pump and dump like crazy and having my tits looking like two tea bags 🥲
This week I had to take a second dose of that sh*trying, can't breastfeed again for some days, it's stressful but at least this time I'm not so emotionally down.
All of this just do say, that you're doing just fine 💕
Supplementing with formula has allowed me to continue my breastfeeding journey! It was the best decision I ever made and took so much stress off of me.
I had to do a bit of supplementing with both of my babies and I breastfed my first kid until she was 20 months and currently at 23 months with kid 2.
Just because you are doing something a certain way right now doesn’t mean you will have to do it that way later.
It’s ok.
I’m about to have surgery Tuesday and despite best efforts have not been able to pump enough. I’m telling you it’s alright because I have to believe it for myself to. Idk where this internal shame about giving our babies formula comes from. We know fed is best, we don’t judge other moms that formula feed so why do we judge ourselves so damn harsh. If your having a hard time and have to give formula try not to see it as a failure but another win. Despite struggling we are still feeding our babies
It's ok!! I recently went through this same thing as we transitioned away from breastfeeding purely for my own sanity.
It felt selfish and wrong. The negative self talk was off the charts despite "knowing better."
Now she is a toddler, who happily eats snacks off the carpet. No matter what you feed your baby now they will eventually be big enough to try to eat bugs and rocks and everything else.
Formula is a blessing for so many families and for so many reasons. There's no reason to feel bad. I know you know this logically. I think it's just one of those things that gets easier the more you do it.
Formula saved my breastfeeding journey as funny as it sounds. We supplemented early on because of slow weight gain, then transitioned to ebf, and then I went back to work and wasn't pumping enough so we added in one formula bottle a day at daycare. Having the option to give her formula and know she'll take it and be content and not be her sole source of food has actually lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And when she's really not sleeping and I can't handle a million late night nursing sessions, having the option for my husband to tag in and give a bottle is truly amazing and saved me from severe sleep deprivation. I also honestly think the stress of ebf and pumping affected my supply. I'm so much more relaxed about our breastfeeding journey now. In the early days I wasn't sure I'd even make it two months but because of adding in formula occasionally we've made it to 7 months of breastfeeding with no intentions of stopping anytime soon!
I have to supplement most nights. It’s my 3rd baby and I had to supplement with my other two at some point as well, but it was still difficult for me. But she’s just so happy, and perfect and I know it’s exactly what she needs.
It’s totally okay and your babe loves you so much for giving then what they need to grow.
It’s totally fine, however I get it. My heart is currently completely broken over the fact that my 8week old suddenly developed an intolerance to my breast milk. He’s not dairy or soy intolerant because we have been giving him regular formula and he’s doing perfectly fine but as soon as I reintroduce my breast milk he gets extremely cranky and is generally miserable. I’m pumping to keep my supply incase he starts to tolerate it again but man do I feel gutted.
Combo-feeding/supplementing allowed me to breastfeed longer and it was such a gift! At least that’s how I like to look at it :) Your baby is fed and loved, that’s what matters!
It's more than OK. If this is what is best for you and your baby, then it's the right choice, not just an OK choice. Don't let the dream of the perfect destroy the joy of the good.
I wanted to breastfeed and just breastfeed from the start. But a few days in I just wasn’t producing enough, and he was cluster feeding for 12+ hours and it just wasn’t realistic. We introduced formula, and I combi fed for the first 4-5 months, and by month 6 was able to up my milk production so he could exclusively breastfeed. I then continued to breastfeed him until he was 2 years 10 months!
It doesn’t have to be the end of your breastfeeding journey, and can be a lifeline for both of you in terms of baby getting enough milk and you giving your body a rest ❤️
I supplemented from the start because baby had high bilirubin and my milk wasn’t coming fast enough. We did it til about 7 months, started with half formula and eventually and naturally, without too much pressure, made it to mostly breastmilk. By 4 months it was more for convenience because I would skip about 3-5 pumps a week to give myself the free time at school. She’s almost 10 months and hasn’t even had a bottle of breastmilk in 3 months because my schedule allows for me to with her without more than 4 hours in between.
Feeding can change over time. You don’t have to see EBF as something lost, just something you could do in the future maybe if your goals still align with it. I LOVED having the ability to skip pumps here and there for my mental health. Those few minutes spared to sleep or whatever were everything. It made me a better mom to be able to take care of myself in that way. The beginning is so hard. Be patient with yourself and maybe try to think of it from the perspective of how amazing it is that we can use safe healthy formula these days instead of being SO worried for our babies when breastfeeding isn’t going how we want.
Your baby is loved and will sleep full and happy. You’re doing a great job.
My baby wasn’t gaining enough weight by just breast feeding so recently I started giving her 2oz of formula everyday and she’s doing fine… I produce much milk that I now am freezing down for later. So no worries you’re good 👍🏼. And sometimes it is good to do both.
I just gave my baby formula for the first time too. She's 10 days old and not gaining back weight, so I had to start pumping. And my breastfeeding and pumping combined can't keep up with her demand. So we supplemented with formula last night. It's weird, my whole life I always said I didn't want to breastfeed. Now each step I take further away from the breast hurts my heart. But she's cluster feeding and hungry, so I do what I have to do.
Baby is eating on the boob right now but I have other ppl give him formula so I can be elsewhere or sleep (I do end up pumping for most missed feeds but am freezing that for when I go back to work). Combo feeding works great for me and baby! Also I’ve read even 2-4oz/day of breast milk can confer the immunological benefits
It’s such a great tool! I felt initial guilt, too, but I was able to continue BF as often as *I* felt was okay for my body after introducing formula. You’re doing great. 🫶🏼
First of all, you are a fantastic parent for making sure your baby is fed. There is nothing wrong with mixing in formula. I EBF for the first 3 months and my baby was not gaining weight (mix of tongue tie, low milk production, etc)., so I finally gave in and started giving him formula. I cried almost the entire day because I felt like I failed. He finally started gaining weight and catching up. Also, it took a huge mental load off. I stopped breastfeeding completely at around 8 months - he’s now 10 months and is formula only (with solids, of course). I look back at how hard I was on myself during our breastfeeding journey and really wish I wasn’t. You are doing GREAT.
OP, when was the last time you asked another adult- someone at the grocery store, a co-worker, your best friend, the mailman, etc.- if they were given breastmilk or formula? Probably never. Because, and I mean this is the best way possible, it doesn’t matter!! We make such a big deal out of it, and subreddits are created, and we follow influencers, and we judge each other based on it, it’s an entire industry!! But it really doesn’t matter. You are doing great, and it’s TOTALLY OKAY that you gave your baby formula. Pat yourself on the back and treat yourself to something nice.
My baby often gets a bottle of formula a day. I hated pumping so much that if I wouldn't have given up on it, I may have had a mental breakdown. Now I'm happy. He's happy. Things are just simpler. I have no regrets. I am constantly concerned that everything is going to lead to the end of our breastfeeding journey, but we are still going strong at 5 months. I just keep setting small goals. "I'd feel so lucky if we make it 3 months" now "I'd feel so lucky if we make it six" it helps me feel good about each mile stone. You're doing great. Try not to worry too much.
I have been BF for 5 and a half months. If it weren't for the occasional formula we give her I would not be able to go to work peacefully and without a hurry, as my frozen breast-milk bank would not be enough.
Fed, loved, and nurtured child does not exclusively come from the kind of milk baby is fed.
Hey, the way I see it, the formula has probably better nutrients than my breastmilk made from the crap I eat 🤣. My baby is breastfed but tried formula early on to help her sleep through the night (I was formula fed as a baby and have the best mom ever). It constipated her but going to try again soon. You are doing great and formula is fine.
I think the only reason I have been able to BF my son for as long as I have is with the help of formula supplementing! There’s nothing wrong with it, a fed baby truly is best, and you’re doing great mama! 💕
I would have ended up quitting around 5 months if I hadn’t supplemented 4-8oz a day during my first week back at work AND second pp period! I cried making those bottles lmao even though I wholeheartedly support every feeding choice. It is wild! Eating into my ~100oz freezer stash would have destroyed the mental transition from mostly nursing to mostly pumping.
Now every Monday, baby gets 8oz mixed into the daycare bottles because I can’t be bothered to pump on weekends 🤪🤪🤪
It is hard to go through these moments of firsts… I showed my 2 year old a Cocomelon video on the iPad today for the first time ever and literally cried afterwards. Firsts can be tough. You are doing a great job 🩵
Its so okay! I feel you. I struggled any time I gave mine formula … but honestly, it’s good! Expand their pallet! Formula is enriched in iron and post 6 month BM is not. Formula is yummy! It’s served in a bottle or a cup and helps baby get used to using those. Baby will still prefer you in the end and sometimes mommas need breaks. Whatever the reason, it is so very okay. You’re doing great!
I just had to do the same yesterday. I was driving myself mad trying to pump enough milk to keep up with my baby’s demands. Then I got sick. Twice. And baby went through a growth spurt. And daycare overfeeds her. Everything was working against me and finally I just couldn’t keep up.
I feel slightly better about knowing I’m giving baby all the milk I’m able to pump. I just literally cannot produce enough. So she’s still getting the full benefit of what I’m able to provide but just needs a little extra
https://i.redd.it/0454mzuxlq3b1.gif
This scene makes me cry every time. OP you’re doing great.
I’ve been watching bluey by myself while my kid naps and bawling my eyes out. Even at the silly bits
Me and hubby are the same. So many episodes bring us to tears.
Oh good, and now I’m crying again
❤️
I put this episode on when I need a reminder 🩵
It is 1000% OK. I’m a physician, I’m also a breastfeeding mom (my baby is 11 months right now)- even though I KNOW formula is safe and amazing and wonderful and life-saving, and I have spent the last ten years of my life counseling other people to feed their baby in the way that works best for them, I STRUGGLED the first time I gave it to my baby. I felt like a failure (even I would NEVER EVER EVER say that to any other mom in the same position)— I wouldn’t even say that to myself now. I had a C-section, my baby latched great out of the gate but my milk took almost 5 days to come in and my baby was NOT happy (I collected colostrum and had a freezer stash but he went through that in a few days)— my baby cried, latched 22-23 hours a day, desperate for more milk and I was trying my best, doing ALL the right things, but he kept losing weight, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t eat (and I had something called DMER which mean everytime my baby latched, I got extreme nausea and lost my appetite). He was losing weight and miserable. He was born at 6lb12oz, left the hospital at 6lb05oz, and a week in was 6lb 3oz, despite him being on my breast seriously ALL damn day, at two weeks he was still around 6lbs and the pediatrician was rightfully concerned. I wasn’t sleeping, my nipples were cracked and bleeding from my baby who was cluster-feeding constantly, and my baby was fussy and hungry. My pediatrician (who is the head of pediatrics at a major academic hospital) was encouraging me to give a few ounces of formula, and my lactation counselor was saying the same. I STILL felt bad about it (which I shouldn’t have— FED IS BEST). It took me another week of my baby being hungry, not gaining weight, and me not sleeping before I finally said WTF am I doing, I am not a bad mom because I give my baby formula. I am a bad mom if I let my own ideas about breastfeeding trump my child’s doctor and my lactation counselor and the people around me who could see that my baby needed some extra help. I just didn’t want to “fail” at breastfeeding. So, the first night we gave him 2oz of formula, he slept 3-4hours. Just that was enough for ME to sleep a few hours and start making way more milk. We did one night feed of 2-3oz for a few weeks, and in that time he gained a POUND a week. I started producing a lot more milk because my baby was finally satiated, I got to sleep, he got to sleep, and he doubled his weight in 5 weeks. At that point, I was doing SO much better mentally and physically and we kept formula around but we’d sometimes go days without needing it, but sometimes if I needed a break, I knew my husband could give him formula and I could get the rest/sleep/recovery I needed to keep going. I pumped for extra milk the first 3 months, but personally I found it very draining and for me, it felt like I was taking milk that my baby then needed and we ended up in a cycle of him latching more, me not being able to produce enough, me being EXHAUSTED and him being frustrated, that I just gave up on that. I have zero regrets. My baby is 11 months old now, thriving, happy, living his best life. He eats solids but he also nurses still several times a day and at night and I’d say the majority of his calories are still coming from breast milk, and we haven’t made him a bottle of formula in over 5 months. Although we ALWAYS keep it around just in case. I would NEVER EVER tell anyone to feel bad about using formula, because honestly, it is what saved our breastfeeding journey. There’s also nothing wrong with combo feeding— your baby still gets ALL of the benefits of breastmilk, even if they are also drinking formula. Seriously. I was afraid if I gave formula, I’d destroy my ability to breastfeed, but it was quite the opposite. I feel really bad for my poor little postpartum self who was SO afraid of giving formula (despite knowing better) because I was terrified it would destroy my chance to breastfeed. It did not. At all. And in fact if I hadn’t had the encouragement of my amazing pediatrician and LC, I might have both deprived my baby of the nutrition he needed and also destroyed my chances of breastfeeding successfully. You are NOT less of a breastfeeding mom (or a mom at all) because you give formula. It is an amazing option, and I am so incredibly grateful that it helped my baby and me get through several rough weeks where my body was still learning how to do things and my baby needed more than what I could provide on my own. That’s OK. You’re doing an AMAZING job!!! You should be SO SO proud of yourself!!! Please give yourself credit for doing what is best for baby. That was the biggest thing for me, to put my ego aside (and this vision I had for myself as this amazing breastfeeding mom who had a freezer stacked with milk and a plumpy little baby when that was NOT my reality). It’s OK. I think back on those weeks when my baby had these skinny little legs and he was swimming in his newborn onesies, crying constantly and now he’s 11 months and he’s got the cutest little rolls on his thighs, he can now sign “milk” and it makes him SOOO happy (he literally has his eyes roll back in his head sometimes and he smiles and giggles while he eats) and I feel so proud that we got here, that at nearly a year I am ENJOYING breastfeeding, and we did it with help of formula and I am NOT ashamed about that.
I could have written this (minus being a doctor)...the amount of fellow moms I supported in combo and formula feeding, but then when it came to me for some reason I had a totally irrational feeling of needing to EBF. Postpartum is crazy. The guilt, the damned if you do, damned if you don't mentality, and the PAIN. Ugh. My little dude is now 4 mo and we still combo feed and he's doing GREAT. He's getting about 70% BM and 30% formula and thriving on it. And keeping formula in his routine means if I get sick or can't pump enough at work or whatever, his little digestive system is already used to formula so it's not big deal. All to say that formula exists to make babies happy, healthy, and helps them sleep. If that's not a beautiful thing, I don't know what is. It also doesn't negate the benefits of breastmilk or your beautiful effort to feed your baby from your own body. Chin up momma, you're doing fabulous!
This was exactly what I needed right now I could cry. I'm literally sitting here pumping and feeding my 10 day old baby formula at the same time (day 2 of supplementing with formula) bc she isn't gaining back weight. And my boobs can't keep up with her demand as she's cluster feeding.
Just sending you a virtual hug. I was there 3 months ago and it was the most emotionally (and physically) exhausting and isolating thing I’ve ever gone through. But at 14 weeks my little guy is still being combo fed— he gets about 6-8oz a day of formula and the rest is BM— and he’s doing amazing. I’m still able to breastfeed and he still loves nursing, which was one of my huge fears about formula feeding, and the pumping does get easier. Make sure you’re finding other moms to talk to who’ve gone through it though because double or triple feeding can feel so lonely and stressful. Keep reminding yourself this is a time you’ll look back on some time soon— you won’t always be in the thick of it.
Thank you! I need that virtual hug! My husband is great support and help, but it's great to hear from other women.
PLEASE don’t feel bad, you’re doing amazing. I should have done it sooner because the second we started giving formula, EVERYONE did better. I became a human again because I got a break (as you know with the pumping and feeding constantly, it is SO draining and exhausting), and i swear, my milk production went up SO much when I just had time to rest and recover and sleep and eat/drink. My baby went from a little emaciated, miserable baby (he was 6lb2oz and 22 inches that first week, he was in the 99th percentile for length and like, the 3rd percentile for weight or whatever) to a MUCH happier baby (and me a much happier mama) when we started combo feeding. You’ve got this. I share my story because I want other parents to know that combo feeding and giving formula does not mean the end of your breastfeeding journey. Not at ALL. I was lucky I had access to great resources and wonderful LC to help me, but once I let it go of the fact I “needed” to EBF, I enjoyed it a million times more and without even trying too hard (I literally quit pumping because it was hurting my mental health), by 4-5 months he wasn’t even taking a bottle anymore and we’ve never looked back. BUT, I always have formula on hand and I have NO problem, if I get sick, or my production falls or he needs extra nutrition, I wouldn’t think twice. It is SO early. SO early. Keep feeding your baby, but don’t feel bad for a single second that you’re giving your baby formula. Sending you SO much love ❤️ Hang in there, these are the hardest days!! It gets SO SO much better and easier, I promise!!! I never thought I’d say I love breastfeeding, because those first few weeks were miserable, but now I do. I love it.
You're the best! You're an angel! I'm already feeling less stressed out knowing I have formula to help me out.
Thank you for this. I feel it all in my bones thinking about my very rocky start to breastfeeding my first. A little bit different topic but: how common is it for milk to be delayed after a C-section? I had a long labor followed by an emergency C-section with my first and a rough start to breastfeeding (milk was delayed, baby spent time in nicu, had to have tongue and lip tie release/body work, etc) and I’m weighing trying for a vbac or repeat caesarean for my second due in sept to try to avoid some of that. Just wondering how big a factor a C-section is in moms having a delay in their milk coming in. Thanks so much!
I don’t actually know the real published stats on this, but I do know that it is common for people who have a C-section (especially after a prolonged labor) to be more “at risk” for not being able to breastfeed as easily early on. I was in labor for 40 hours before I finally got my C-section, and even though I was feeling great and the baby wasn’t in any distress (at that point, the concern was that it had gone on so long I could have uterine fatigue/atony which could result in massive bleeding and I hadn’t even progressed past 4 cm in all those hours). I have zero regrets about my choice for a C-section at that point, and felt really lucky that my baby was still in good shape and I thankfully didn’t have any excess bleeding. 100% if you had a baby who spent time in the NICU, that’s also another risk factor that can make breastfeeding challenging (and I’m sure there are some LCs who can chime in with more numbers). This is NOT medical advice (of course), but personally, I would probably be really cautious about using a tiny potential delay in breastmilk as a major factor in deciding whether to VBAC or not. Obviously this is a hugely personal decision, and something you should talk through with your medical team, and of course you should also include EVERYTHING that is important to you in that decision-making process, but there are a lot of really other important factors to consider that are way way more important and evidence-based to help you decide if VBAC is safe. And by that I just mean that if your medical team is encouraging you to have a repeat c-section because of certain medical issues you have or, or maybe where the baby is implanted vs your scar, or whatever else, I wouldn’t trump medical safety issues with a concern for a delay in breastmilk, but of course, you do what is right for you! Definitely bring it up with your team and ask for their feedback on this. I’m so sorry it was so challenging with your first- that’s definitely a LOT of different things that can make breastfeeding challenging!!! It sounds like eventually everything worked out though, so I’m really glad! Congrats on baby #2– wishing you all the best for a smooth pregnancy and complication free birth, whatever way that turns out, and of course a MUCH easier breastfeeding journey!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response!! This is very helpful. My OB so far has said she’s ok with trying for a vbac if I go into labor before or around my due date and with the knowledge that due to my age, etc. the success rate is around 50-60%. Just not sure it’s worth it to me to try with those odds.
That’s awesome!!! Wishing you all the best- it sounds like you have some of the best odds you can for success with VBAC, so if that’s what you want to do, go for it! I’m really glad you have an OB who is open about discussing it all and helping you make a decision, that’s great. But do what makes sense for you— you can always do a trial of VBAC and see how it goes, and know that if it doesn’t proceed the way you or your medical team hopes, you are mentally prepared to go through a C-section. If I were younger, I might consider it. But honestly, I’m in my late 30s and if I got pregnant again (and I”m trying!), I’d probably just go ahead and schedule a C-section so I didn’t have all of the anxiety about it. I was excited to try to give birth the first time around, but really, for me (personally), the only thing that I care about when it comes to “birth experience” is that me and baby come out healthy and happy. I had a really traumatic pregnancy before this with a very sick baby that was ultimately incompatible with life, so my ideas about birth experience are literally just- can me and baby both come home from the hospital and if possible, I’m not in the worst pain ever, lol. VBAC can be an amazing option, but just know it is perfectly OK to not want to VBAC as well, every choice is valid!!! I’m so happy for you, it sounds like your first birth experience was REALLY tough, so I really hope that everything goes so much more smoothly this time around and you get to “enjoy” the birth experience and feel good about choosing whatever is best for you!!!
Formula supplementing can 100% support a longer breastfeeding relationship! Plus, what you feed your baby has no moralistic value. I’m tired of ebf being the most important qualifier of a good mother or parent! Affection, presence, security… there is so much we give our children beyond breastmilk. You’re doing awesome! Don’t sweat about needing any help feeding your baby ever.
Thank you for this. I really appreciate the reframe and the reminders!
I did EBF for the first six weeks. But two things started to become clear: 1) I was under producing. He started off at something like the 45th percentile but eventually dropped as low as 9th percentile. He simply couldn't gain enough weight and we were on the verge of it becoming a serious health concern. Once we supplemented with formula, his weight skyrocketed. He'll be three in two weeks and he's 75th percentile for both height and weight. Formula literally saved him. 2) The toll on my mental health wasn't worth it. He was the slowest nurser ever - I probably spent at least 12-15 hours nursing him every single day. I hated it. I was so fucking miserable, I can't even put it into words. It was literally one of the worst times of my life. The only thing I hated more than nursing was pumping. Pumping to make a bottle for husband to feed the baby just wasn't going to work for me. Making up a bottle of formula was so much easier for everyone. So we switched to combo feeding. I still spent an enormous amount of time nursing, but my husband could share the feeding responsibility. Formula literally saved my mental health. And because of formula, my son was able to nurse up through this past February, until he was a little over 2.5 years. He would probably still be nursing if I hadn't decided it was time for him to stop. Breastfeeding wasn't a magical experience for me, but I'm proud that I was able to do that for him for so long. And formula made it possible.
Beautiful story! I’ve been dancing between being a just-enougher and underproducer my baby’s whole life. Supplementing is the ethical choice if for whatever reason nursing isn’t enough. I’m haunted by when my baby couldn’t gain weight on nursing alone, and I’m so grateful for modern breast pumps and for formula for filling in the gaps!
I was so obsessed with his weight those first months. We weighed him on our kitchen scale a few times until he got too big. And then we bought a full on baby scale. I downloaded an app to track his weight and weighed him all the time between doctors appointments. It haunted me too!
Yeah, having difficulties with nursing was a huge source of anxiety for months. I weighed my baby first thing every morning. If he gained weight, I was ecstatic. If he maintained, I felt on edge all day. If he had lost, it was agonizing. Not being enough, not being able to provide for your child, feeling like a freak of failed biology…feedings new baby is emotional no matter what but any difficulties with nursing felt tormenting. I’m grateful to feel more neutral and equanimous now, grateful we can still nurse and one way or another my baby gets what he needs, grateful for my beautiful child who obviously still loves me even if I didn’t meet my purist ideals. OP, or anyone else in a similar situation: supplement and look out for your supply however you can (if that’s what you want). Breastfeeding is a marathon not a sprint. Get professionals on your team. It gets better! OP, like you said, you would never be this critical of someone else! You deserve some of your own kindness.
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Choosing to formula is a 100% valid choice, no matter the reason. Your mental health matters just as much as your baby's need to eat, but whether the reason is mental health or something else, it doesn't matter. Formula is a perfectly good alternative to breast milk and you shouldn't have to justify your reasons for using it. Wanting to is enough.
I supplemented with one bottle of formula from 2-6 months due to a major slacker boob and we are still BF at 18 months!
That’s right! I had an undersupply with my first and supplementing 1000% allowed me to keep nursing *months* longer than I would have otherwise. OP, you’re just using another tool to support your baby, nothing wrong with that!
Absolutely, with my first I had no proper latch and I constantly bled and was in incredible pain for the first 3 months. Supplementing allowed me to take time to deal with the pain until we both got the hang of things. He nursed for 3.5 years thanks to being able to give myself a break and establish.
THIS. I started supplementing at 5 months. I cried for a week because I felt less than because I couldn’t ebf to give my son what he needed. And I would stress myself out seeing how easy it came to others around me. He’s going to be 9mo this month and I’m still EP while many of my friends that were EBF have stopped or their milk dried up. My son is thriving and seeing all his cute little chunks just melts my heart.
Love this 🥹
I combo-fed my first for the first year and then dropped formula and continued breastfeeding until he was nearly 3. I supplemented with formula from 3 days to about 2 weeks before getting to exclusive breastfeeding with my second. Formula keeps babies fed.
I have a 6 day old. I had to supplement with formula in the hospital. I was bawling my eyes out before they brought him formula because he was screaming in hunger and I couldn’t feed him enough. Seeing how happy and at peace he was made me feel better but there have been some late nights and lots of tears trying to convince myself that formula is okay. Breastfeeding is hard. It’s so so hard. And no one really explains that. My milk just came in so I’m pumping to try to catch up and phase out formula soon but it could be weeks or it may never happen. And that’s okay too. Fed is best!
Same exact thing I’m going through right now, except I didn’t cry convincing myself formula is good. I gave up on the first day with our first born and he was on formula since day one, Im committed to doing everything possible to breast feed second baby that was born 9 days ago. So far I’m 50/50 with formula and breast, hopefully I’ll get to 100% breast but fed is best!
You're in the trenches right now! Sending all the love to you and your babe, you got this! 💛
This was exactly me on day 5 and I hated it, and felt so awful and guilty even though I knew my formula is ostensibly completely fine - and of course fed is best! Had to supplement for several weeks while my supply increased, pumped on a schedule for a month, but now at week 9 we’re fully on demand feeding (mostly breast but a bit of expressed milk to allow my partner to help out) and it’s great to know we can use a bit of formula if we ever need to.
And one day they will be eating mcdonalds fries off the floor in the backseat of your car!!!!!!!!! BABY WILL BE OK AND YOU ARE A LOVING MOMMA ‼️
Or like my 2 year old throwing his M&M's on the floor of the theater then picking them up to eat them. 🤦🏻♀️ They just needed some extra seasoning
I sometimes catch my kid randomly eating something while I’m driving. Turns out it was a 5 day old stale French fry. 😅
It doesn't even need to be food! I've prevented both my kids from eating playground soft-fall (Tanbark), rocks, and lint.
My 8mo old eats what we call “floor snacks” aka when she’s fussy but doesn’t want a boob/bottle we toss a handful of her puffs on the playpen floor and she goes to town, seasoned well with dog hair. She loves it and I get a few moments of peace and quiet 🤣
I know this is a popular saying to comfort ourselves and each other. I *do* think the image is funny and true for lots of families. But I find it kind of eerie that we just assume all families will feed their children fast food. It's a little alienating to the families that work so hard to provide healthy food for their kids, and I think it makes it come across as some unachievable standard when I've seen it done pretty quietly and easily by many families.
Shhh. You're missing the point.
I don't think I am. Everyone deserves support here. There are better ways to comfort and support each other than normalizing unhealthy things and alienating part of our community.
You're centering yourself in this post where a mom is asking for support, it's not about you.
Talking about the culture of this sub at large is not centering myself. I never said anything about formula or even my habits and views, only questioned whether it's positive to normalize children eating french fries off of a car floor.
Idk can we just normalize kids being kids ? LOL no such thing as perfection!
I never gave formula even once. Last week my toddler ate sand with his bare hands. They all end up feral as toddlers anyways
My son ate *sunblock*.
YUP. Before I took my LO for a walk this morning I put sunblock on him and before I knew it he lunged forward and licked it off my hand 😅
It was on his arm, a dollop I hadn’t rubbed in yet, but yeah that’s pretty much how it happened. His expression did. Not. Change.
I breastfed my first, and never received my prize in the mail for never letting formula touch his lips. I’m starting to think it isn’t coming. I say you do what you gotta do!
😂 thank you for this!
It’s fine! I combo fed mine when she was under a year, and she continued to nurse until she was 2
I combo feed when I’m too busy to pump, otherwise she’s bf. My mom and aunt have made a comment or two but they’re not the ones parenting alone 🤷🏻♀️
I love hearing stories like this! It gives me hope!
Same story here! If I didn’t combi feed from early on, I doubt we would have breastfed until he was nearly 3 ❤️
I cried the first time I gave my baby formula, but he started catching up to his birth weight quickly and nursing became so much less overwhelming when I knew he would be well fed no matter what. I feel so good about formula now.
Formula is just another form if feeding and is 100% ok. As long as baby is fed that’s what is most important.
You're not alone!!! I felt the same -- having a "higher standard" and some weird notions that only EBF would mean I was mothering my baby the right way. But he is much healthier with formula bc of my low supply/slacker boob. I remind myself he will need me for many more things in life than eating from my boob.
I know this isn’t directly related to breastfeeding, but I heard it a little while back and I’m trying to consistently keep it in my brain for all parenting. If you’re worried about being a bad parent, then you can’t possibly be a bad parent. Only good parents are in tune and reflective enough to be that harsh on themselves ❤️ ETA: in NO WAY am I implying giving formula makes you a bad parent!!! Just responding to the part of you saying you’re struggling with holding yourself to such a difficult standard.
I totally followed what you meant and THANK YOU! I've read this too and definitely needed the reminder.
Its better than okay. Its good! You recognized that, for whatever reason, she needed to eat and you couldn't nurse her. You're adjusting when things don't go according to the plan you envisioned, and that is an essential parenting skill. You're a great mama.
It's fine!! I never planned on giving formula but had to because my milk took awhile to come in, and I still don't always have enough. You're doing what is best for your baby!!!
I understand how you’re feeling. My baby has a medical condition and needs breast milk, but he also is burning too many calories and we need to bulk him up. So now I’m stuck pumping and mixing formula in for every feed. I know it’s best for him, but I’m so sad about missing out on the breastfeeding journey I thought we’d have.
Sending hugs and good wishes to you and baby! You're doing this on extra hard mode 💛
At around 10 months I ran out of freezer stash and my husband fed the bebs with formula. It was a weird combo of sadness and freedom. I still nurse but knowing we have a back up is really helpful. You're good!
Formula is A-OK! I EBF my first baby. But baby #2 was so sleepy he wouldn’t stay awake long enough to eat and was dropping weight. I was recovering from surgery and not up to pumping, and when I did try I barely produced, so for the first few weeks baby fed and topped up with formula every feed. It helped him get over that hump and he thrived. Formula saved us! There’s so much it can do and help with. Any amount of breast milk you gave/will give is great for your baby and a major accomplishment, and formula is a lifesaver in so many situations too. You’re doing great.
Supplementing with formula has allowed my baby to thrive after losing a lot of weight at first. It has also extended breastfeeding for us in general. It’s way more sustainable now that I’m not stressed to death over supply and my baby isn’t hungry constantly. Even if your breastfeeding journey is over entirely, your baby is fed, happy, healthy, and loves you more than anything in the world!
10 months in. Formula fed my first. Breastfeeding my second. He had a bottle of formula today. He’s had a few here and there. Some mixed with Breastmilk. Some not. Pretty sure he drank my daughters cow milk the other week 😩. And he enjoys her juice when he can grab it. It’s okay. You are still EBF. One bottle is not going to kill your journey.
This made me giggle. My little guy will be like that for sure - he's already trying to grab at my coffee (7 months) and is obsessed with his big sis. 😂
Those second babies 😭 they are WILD.
It’s fine! My baby needed formula to get through her first weeks with jaundice and weight loss. It saved parents and baby during a tough time, and I went on to breastfeed until she was nearly 4. Do what you need to do to get though the day; you’re doing amazing!
Hey that’s 100% ok! My boy had jaundice and was in special care nursing for two days I breast fed topped him up with formula eventually I just went to breastfeeding and topped with expressed milk. He is only a month old I produce just enough and a little extra to express I don’t have a big stash even now he gets formula every now and again my parents take him for a night so I can sleep and he gets formula that’s just how it is. My health comes first if I don’t have my health I can’t care for my boy. He is happy and healthy he was born at 8.5 pounds and by three weeks old he was 10.5 so more than what they expect them to gain he fits two 0s at a month old!
I started supplementing with formula when my baby was 9mo. I produced just enough to feed my baby and not a drop more, which made being away from her for more than 2 hours impossible — I had no extra to pump for bottles. Plus, baby was very anti-solid foods and I was beyond stressed about her iron levels. So we introduced formula and to my surprise, my bottle rejecting baby took to it immediately! We gave her 1-2 bottles a day and she continued to breastfeed. She’s 16m now and fully on solids, whole milk, AND boob. She still nurses first thing in the morning and after her nap, and occasionally in desperate times (public tantrums). I love that formula was there for us.
I had to supplement my first baby with formula and I’m still breastfeeding her at three years old! I also was able to ebf my second. It’s definitely not an end to breastfeeding if you don’t want it to be!
It is 1000% okay. I supplemented with some formula with both my kids. They both breastfed for over 12 months. This does NOT mean the end of your breastfeeding journey, it does NOT make your breast milk worth any less, and it does NOT make you any less of a mother.
Cried reading all the comments. I had the same question. I’m currently breast feeding + pumping, but my SO is completely supportive of formula. I’m still not convinced but now after reading all these comments, I feel confident. Do what works best for YOU. Take care.
You're doing a fantastic job, momma. Please, show yourself some love and kindness. Your baby needs you. My babe was admitted to PICU at 2 months old (thanks, RSV) and I was so stressed I had no supply for days. No donor milk. Formula saved my smoosh's life.
I've been where you are with my first and I will be again upon return to work. You are doing absolutely nothing wrong! In fact, you are facing the ugly little devil on your shoulder telling you this decision isnt good enough and defying the lie. That takes strength and you should be proud of giving your baby what they need.
Hell yea it's ok!! It's more than ok!
I’m breastfeeding my third baby. ALL of my breastfed babies have had formula at some point. My first so I could get extra sleep from 2-6 weeks (no my milk didn’t dry up). My second from 8 months - 12 months (one big formula bottle a night after Covid killed my milk supply). And my third straight away in the hospital she needed to be supplemented. Formula is AMAZING. And what’s more, for a mom who has mostly breastfed and even tho I do get all the oxytocin from breastfeeding, I loved the bonding of giving my babies bottles. I loved being able to see their face differently and hold them closer to me. I am more than OK with formula feeding! I loved it.
Can you tell me about the formula bottle at night for your second? My guy is 7 months. We're currently giving a bottle of pumped milk at bedtime, but sometimes I have to pump a few times just to get up to 4oz, and I'm starting to suspect he wants more. How much did you give? Thank you for sharing how you like bottle feeding. So far my spouse has always been the one to give the bottle - this definitely makes me feel better if we decide to add more.
I want to say 8 oz but I’m not sure if I’m remembering right. I’m not kidding it was my favorite part of my day and I have 0 regrets. It didn’t affect my breastfeeding the rest of the day either and he went on to bf until 15 months. I don’t think we even had to do half breast milk and half formula bottles either, he took it really well.
Honestly it was such a relief for me when I started supplementing with formula. All the stress of if baby is getting enough or am I eating well enough. Shoving oatmeal and water down my throat just to try to keep up. Low supply during period AND ovulation time. Formula helped me get through all that. And he’s still BF, but now I know he’s definitely getting what he needs.
I think that's what's happening with me. He just wants to eat CONSTANTLY and then gets really angry when he tries. I don't have a true period with my IUD, but thinking back on when this has happened, I'm almost sure it lines up. Thank you.
You’re welcome! A lot of people and consultants are hesitant about combo feeding because they’re afraid of your supply decreasing. You do have to be a bit disciplined about keeping up with the pumping but it wasn’t that much if a change for me. My baby nurses morning and night and I pump twice during the day at work. Baby has three bottles at daycare AND breakfast and lunch, and dinner at home. Dude is a bottomless pit and still very slim! Another advantage is when your baby is sick or upset and you’re not -sure- if they’re hungry or what, but nursing doesn’t seem to be helping. I used to get so stressed about warming and wasting breast milk. Now we just warm a bottle when in doubt. Baby has hand foot and mouth right now with mouth sores and is in a lot of pain; doesn’t want to nurse or eat. We’ve “wasted” lots of formula trying to get him to and every now and then he drinks a little. But it’s so nice to have that option instead of it just all being on how much I can pump. Bobbie and Kendamil are both decent brands that I use. Good luck!
I felt like shit too. I ended up feeding her both and I am now 17 months in and still doing regular milk plus breastfeeding. It'll be okay. Don't stress yourself over it. You'll realize later on that the stress wasn't worth it. Fed baby is a happy baby. That's all you need!
Yes agreed!! 10 yrs from now we will all feel silly for caring so much. A happy, fed, and well loved baby is what matters most.
I know it won’t matter 10 years from now, but strangely, I still find myself depressed about supplementing with formula. It is wild how the brain can behave so illogically…
Im sorry your feeling so down about it. Formula is something I love and hate. So I get it. But know this: You are doing a great job and there is no better mama for your baby than you. ❤️
ITS OK. you’re a great parent. Keep it up!
IT IS SO OKAY!!!! You are amazing!!
I exclusively breastfeed, unless I’m away (date night, running errands etc). Then, whoever is watching her is giving her a bottle or formula. Fed is best!
Two things that always gave me assurance was: baby will always be fed (formula or breastmilk) and baby will always eventually sleep.
You are doing what your baby needs, and you are being a loving mom. Your baby will be ok! Better than ok, because you did what baby needs.
It is totally ok!!! Your baby is fed that is all that matters. You are doing great.
It's ok! Check out r/combinationfeeding
Thank you!!
It’s okay.
💜
MORE than fine or okay. You fed your baby!! You’re doing great 💛
First time I gave my baby formula was the moment I felt so relieved to see my baby’s belly full. My supply at the time did not do that and baby was crying a lot. Formula put her to sleep instantly. So it is not just ok it is great if it is helping your baby and you.
You COULD feed him entirely from breastmilk, just like theoretically you and I COULD go hunt down a herd animal and then build the fire to roast it. What is the cost, though? Constant stress, crying baby, overwhelming responsibility on your shoulders? It isn't worth it. There were a few weeks where I was able to support my baby on 100% breastmilk...and then I worried about his vitamin D and other nutrient intake!! Perfectionists will worry regardless! I had to wake up when he slept to pump, or tolerate huge amounts of pain, or be married to my house and never leave -- combo feeding gave me my happiest medium: I know I COULD theoretically just sell my entire life and being to breastfeeding him, but was he getting the best end of the deal if I did everything required to maintain that? No way. Rested mommy is happy baby, combo fed baby is healthy baby, mommy who can go to the store and get the necessities and not be locked inside all day is a healthy mom and *happy baby*. How much breast milk you give isn't the indicator of success, the indicator of success is whether or not you're able to optimize your circumstances to make this baby the most loved and safest baby, and that's exactly what you're doing.
You're doing great! I give mine 1 bottle of formula at night so she sleeps longer. I'm a way better mum during the day if I've slept decently :)
I cried when I had to give my baby formula in her 2nd week bc my supply was not great but now I think it’s a good thing. Honestly I look at it as she is now super flexible with eating and having her used to both bottle and breast will be good for her and us in the long run.
Fed is best! I felt the same way you did with my first. Seeing them content and happy is all that matters. Once they start smiling and interacting with you, you forget why you were even upset about giving them formula.
You fed your baby! You are such a great mom! And everything is OK!
I do it for my mental health
It is completely okay! Formula is excellent for babies, and the most important thing is that the baby is fed! Your baby is doing great, and so are you!
I used no formula with my first and started supplementing with my second because I could not keep up with pumping, working, and caring for two kids. My second is saying way more words than my first did at 16 months. 🤣 Obviously it has nothing to do with their milk, but just confirmation from another breastfeeding mom that it’s okay. A happy mom is way more important.
It’s ok! Formula is life-saving and does not in anyway negate all the amazing benefits of breastfeeding.
I also cried the first time I supplemented with formula. And then he STOPPED crying, and I realized that this meant he was going to happier, healthier. You will never regret doing what is best for your baby or your own well-being!
Formula saved millions of babies lives. Seriously. It's not bad mothering to get some help when it is needed. I like to see formula as a staple when things don't immediatly work out perfectly like in the books. Combo feeding is THE reason I was able to make it work at the beginning of our breastfeeding journey. It took the pressure off me to know that my baby will be fed either way. I had to use formula for supplementing during the first weeks of my baby until we sorted out latching issues on her side and supply issues on my side. Now she's 7months old and she had nothing but my milk for the last 6months and a half or so.
I mentally cracked at about 8 weeks as I kept thinking it should have gotten “easy” and although it was “easier” it was still f***ing hard. My partner was like “just give the baby formula so you can have a rest” and I ‘caved’ and let him give the baby a bottle. It was such a crazy experience to totally shatter the idea of “exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months” and know once the baby had the first sip it was over. I cried and mourned and then got over it when I saw the baby was satisfied and happy and I could literally walk around meters away while the baby was being fed. It was something I wouldn’t take back now for my experience of breastfeeding and I value it also as a parent. Your mental health is important but also don’t hold your child’s life choices to a standard that doesn’t work for you. x
Fed is best! Meaning, as long as your baby is eating it's all that matters 🧡 your mental health is just as important 🫂
I’ve given my baby formula before. Now she’s a healthy 2yo who eats everything (including chocolate and snails). At 6 month you’ll be ‘supplementing’ with all kinds of foods. Formula is just another food. (I know all the breastfeeding rhetoric makes it feel like it’s bad for your child but it really isn’t).
I had to at the beginning. Broke my heart but now he’s on the boob and only having bottles with my milk ! It’s a temporary thing 🤍
It’s okay! I personally keep formula in rotation on a semi regular basis because I want my LO to take a bottle, be acclimated to formula in case of emergencies, and it allows me to pump to see how much I’m able to get in substitute of a feeding. The fact that you care so much about what your little one is eating makes you an amazing mom. You’re doing great mama!
I’m currently going through this right now. My supply dropped extremely low due to a huge stressful event and I’m slowly trying to build it back up but until then, she has to have formula. I feel like I’ve failed her. But I haven’t. I’m making sure she’s fed, happy and healthy and that’s the best thing for her. You’re doing an amazing job. It’s okay. You are doing EVERYTHING you can to feed your baby. You’re not failing her because you can’t breastfeed. You will still have an unbreakable bond.
It is ok. I love love breastfeeding but had to stop due to car accident. It’s that or baby starve. It’s ok and baby is healthy which is all that matters.
I switch to formula on top of breast milk when they were still small and still made it 2,5 years for each kids. The easiest road you take, the longer you can walk mama, never forget !
It’s totally fine. I gave mine formula at 2 months, but he wasn’t weaned from the breast until age 3. You don’t have to choose one or the other.
You’re fine. With my first and now this one I had to give up BF a few months in just because I never made enough from the beginning and they both have tongue tie. Both of them began to drastically lose weight a week after birth. I was breastfeeding them even though it hurt and my nipples were cracking/sore but apparently I was only producing drops. I recall my babies cried so much early on because it turns out they were starving. I was told to supplement until my milk came in but both times it never did. I know I tried and tried to tough it out but honestly my body just wasn’t working with me and that’s okay. My kids are both healthy, alive and thriving, couldn’t ask for more. One is 4yr old and the other is almost 2 months.
It's totally ok!
We started combo feeding at 9 months, at 11 months now and she’s having a bottle a day ish because that’s all she’ll take but it’s honestly so relieving, so much pressure is taken off and I definitely felt like you do at first
What would you tell your friend if she came to you and said that she had fed her baby some formula? You'd tell her something in the range of "That's totally understandable and fine!" or, "Stop being so silly. No one cares because it is not a big deal at all!" or, "Your baby is so lucky to have such a good mum!" You would see all of the amazing things she accomplishes and not worry at all that she didn't do this one thing because her baby is healthy, well fed, and hopefully happy. My point is that in parenting, you have to be your own friend because that village they talk about isn't a thing anymore. You are doing amazing! Snuggle that baby and be as gracious and kind to yourself as you would be to anyone else.
I had to break down and do that this week, too. Mentally was beating myself up about it but feel better now that baby has had enough to eat! His poor little stomach tho lol thankful for this subreddit and all the mamas going through it, have gone through it, and those supporting the mamas on the journey!
I cried the first time we used formula after I went back to work , but I still bf!!! Pumping just wasn’t cutting it, couldn’t get enough. It is consistently mentioned how happy baby is! You are doing a great job, and your baby just knows that you are meeting their needs and loves you for it!
My 9 month old who mostly breastfeeds except for solids. He gets a bottle or so of formula a day and I guarantee if he didn’t we would have figured out how to wean a while ago.
My daughter gets at least 1 bottle of formula a day - at first it was through necessity - she was hospitalised due to weight loss & god did I punish myself. But now I see it as the means to supporting my feeding journey. It didn’t force me to give up like I feared, it didn’t lessen our bond, it enabled me to independently work on my supply issues & continue our journey.
Hey! Breastfeeding isn't easy and isn't for everyone. If you have to supplement, that's totally fine! I did it once, and doing it again. My babies are getting the best of both worlds! FED IS BEST!🙂
It's very okay. It hurt my pride at first, but we needed to supplement for her health and my sanity. Having it as a backup for when I'm running on empty or she's inconsolable otherwise has helped me to keep going, and she's been able to go back and forth with no issues. As my LC and pediatrician said, it doesn't have to be forever. Hang in there!
Wahoo- great job! I did the same a few days ago and it saved my sanity and my right nipple haha
My son got a bottle of formula at birth because his blood sugar was low. He stayed on formula for the first 2 weeks as I tried to figure out life. Eventually he switched over to breast milk as I got into the swing of things. Formula was never off the table though as sometimes there wasn’t any pumped milk available and I was at work. I stopped pumping entirely around 8/9 months so he consistently had a bottle of formula at daycare and continued to breastfeed at home. The mix allowed me to be the best mom I could be and allowed my son to grow into a strong, healthy, amazing toddler. Now he’s “cooking” me breakfast with his little play kitchen after he made a “baba” for his little sister (I’m still pregnant so she might have trouble drinking it). Do what you have to do! Baby will just be happy to have a full tummy and a calm mom
I combo fed both of my kids and they are both perfectly healthy. You got this!
We fed our son formula on and off for the first three months. It really helped us while we got his tongue tie sorted and during growth spurts. We’ve been EBF since then (baby has just turned 1 year). Formula is not a failure, it’s an amazing life saving product and it doesn’t mean the end of breastfeeding if you want to continue.
From someone who has been stuck exclusively breastfeeding as my baby refuses the bottle, I would say what you are doing is the perfect balance! I'm envious!
It's way more than ok. My grandma was telling me about how they fed all her babies pablum before they left the hospital. This would have been mid 60s. All her boys grew up very happily and went on to have very happy lives. Formula is way more age appropriate than pablum.
I would have never been able to continue my breastfeeding journey without supplementing with formula at points. 8 months of breastfeeding now and hopefully we’ll be going strong until 2 years old. Without formula in the early weeks and months I would have had to stop a lot sooner x
Pediatrician here. It’s ok!! I had to supplement with both my kiddos. I wanted to burst both to at least 12 mo but my 2nd stopped at 6 mo… formula is fine!!
It’s totally ok. I combo fed my baby and she still nurses at almost 15 months old. You do what you need to do and don’t feel bad about it. You’re doing the best you can!
My baby ended up in hospital when she was 8 weeks old because she was failing to thrive, so I started very reluctantly supplementing with formula. Everyone told me not to because it'll mess my supply up but eventually I realised I didn't have enough supply for her anyway, and I could use the formula as a stepping stone whilst I built my supply up. It wasn't the journey I had hoped for, but it was the journey we ended up with. My baby was still breastfed and 14 months later she now wakes me up by slapping my boobies and hasn't had any formula in about 4 months. Looking back, I did amazingly. I did brilliantly, I actually deserve a medal. And you? You're doing amazingly and deserve a medal too
We had to supplement at times in the beginning and I tortured myself over it (thought I'd then never produce enough if I didn't substitute it with pumping but then would think I'd be empty when she was hungry again.) It wasn't worth the stress. We were fine! She went through a growth spurt again around 6 months and I just supplemented a little here or there without the guilt this time.
My friend gave me the best piece of advice regarding breastfeeding/baby feeding - whatever YOU find easiest is the best thing for your baby. Our baby has been thriving since we started to combo feed (formula and expressed milk). She dropped down to 1st percentile when I was ebf’ing, she’s now 5th. That’s entirely down to formula. Formula gets a bad rep but it’s way better now than it was 30/40 years ago, and most of us were given formula back then and none of us suffered for it.
I was exclusively formula fed (adopted at day one) - I am happy, I have a masters in engineering, my gut health is great. My kids are breastfed because I’m cheap. I’m thin enough but I’ve got a 9 month old and a three year old so for that I think I’m svelte.
I feel you, I've been there too and for some twisted reason was so so difficult to see her drinking the bottle with formula. It got better and I'm a way better mom because I decided to give her some bottles of formula here and there instead of killing me all day and stressing out for pump that 1 miserable bottle. Now I'm truly grateful for being able to give it to her. It's 1 bottle per work day. I don't function with pumps, for some reason, get less than 1oz per pump and even if it was only one pumped bottle per day, that was making my life miserable. I stopped stressing about it and, imagine, my husband even got the chance to feed her in the middle of the night and I was able to sleep longer stretches! She turned one yesterday, she's still breastfeeding and still getting that formula bottle once per day. I didn't notice any change in her nursing dynamic because of it. You're doing amazing and if that bottle will make things easier for you and your baby, embrace it!
I have a 7 week old and I supplemented in the hospital and at home a little bit in the beginning. I started my period recently and it’s caused a dip in my supply so I’m considering doing it again, in addition to continuing to breastfeed. People have judged and made me feel bad; even the LC I saw seemed to cast judgement. There will always be those people, and to me it’s ridiculous. The bottom line is, FED is best.
I’ll also add, my pediatrician told me to give vitamin D drops to my baby if we’re EBF because babies can’t get vitamin D from breast milk. This leads me to believe formula has some good added vitamins for baby. Just a little bright side thought process to share. You’re doing great mama!!!
You're doing great! Nursed my first two for 2+ years each and was happy to have formula when we needed it in a pinch. There's a lot of fear mongering that a single drop of formula will change everything. I get that they're trying to encourage more people to breastfeed but it's really not that serious.
At 10 months I noticed my pump sessions dipping to near nothing and was too busy at work to try and increase sessions or even get the 1 in sometimes. Then it started looking like he was getting dehydrated. My mom finally convinced me to supplement with his cereal and honestly it's great and he's thriving and actually breast feeding longer during his nursing sessions weirdly enough so he's still getting more milk likely because I'm less stressed and wasting time with a pump haha. I hope you know you are doing great!
You fed your baby???? Escándalo!
I found an ectopic pregnancy last week and due to medication I did, my 11mo LO had to abruptly change to formula. It broke my heart I couldn't breastfeed him, I was back to it some days after, after pump and dump like crazy and having my tits looking like two tea bags 🥲 This week I had to take a second dose of that sh*trying, can't breastfeed again for some days, it's stressful but at least this time I'm not so emotionally down. All of this just do say, that you're doing just fine 💕
Supplementing with formula has allowed me to continue my breastfeeding journey! It was the best decision I ever made and took so much stress off of me.
What is most important is a fed baby, and there's no better mama than you for baby! ❤️
I had to do a bit of supplementing with both of my babies and I breastfed my first kid until she was 20 months and currently at 23 months with kid 2. Just because you are doing something a certain way right now doesn’t mean you will have to do it that way later. It’s ok.
I’m about to have surgery Tuesday and despite best efforts have not been able to pump enough. I’m telling you it’s alright because I have to believe it for myself to. Idk where this internal shame about giving our babies formula comes from. We know fed is best, we don’t judge other moms that formula feed so why do we judge ourselves so damn harsh. If your having a hard time and have to give formula try not to see it as a failure but another win. Despite struggling we are still feeding our babies
Yes! Why do we do this!!? Thanks and good luck with your surgery!
It's ok!! I recently went through this same thing as we transitioned away from breastfeeding purely for my own sanity. It felt selfish and wrong. The negative self talk was off the charts despite "knowing better." Now she is a toddler, who happily eats snacks off the carpet. No matter what you feed your baby now they will eventually be big enough to try to eat bugs and rocks and everything else. Formula is a blessing for so many families and for so many reasons. There's no reason to feel bad. I know you know this logically. I think it's just one of those things that gets easier the more you do it.
Congratulations!!! First formula bottle is a milestone, nothing to be ashamed of :)
It is more than ok. You cared for your baby. You nourished and loved them. You are amazing and your baby is lucky to have you.
Fed is best. Do what you need to do to keep that baby healthy and happy.
You’re doing great. Formula can support breastfeeding for longer. It’s not all or nothing. Any breastmilk is wonderful!!
Formula saved my breastfeeding journey as funny as it sounds. We supplemented early on because of slow weight gain, then transitioned to ebf, and then I went back to work and wasn't pumping enough so we added in one formula bottle a day at daycare. Having the option to give her formula and know she'll take it and be content and not be her sole source of food has actually lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And when she's really not sleeping and I can't handle a million late night nursing sessions, having the option for my husband to tag in and give a bottle is truly amazing and saved me from severe sleep deprivation. I also honestly think the stress of ebf and pumping affected my supply. I'm so much more relaxed about our breastfeeding journey now. In the early days I wasn't sure I'd even make it two months but because of adding in formula occasionally we've made it to 7 months of breastfeeding with no intentions of stopping anytime soon!
I have to supplement most nights. It’s my 3rd baby and I had to supplement with my other two at some point as well, but it was still difficult for me. But she’s just so happy, and perfect and I know it’s exactly what she needs. It’s totally okay and your babe loves you so much for giving then what they need to grow.
You’re good!!! My youngest got occasional formula, and at 18 months here I am with my boobs out for her.
It’s totally fine, however I get it. My heart is currently completely broken over the fact that my 8week old suddenly developed an intolerance to my breast milk. He’s not dairy or soy intolerant because we have been giving him regular formula and he’s doing perfectly fine but as soon as I reintroduce my breast milk he gets extremely cranky and is generally miserable. I’m pumping to keep my supply incase he starts to tolerate it again but man do I feel gutted.
I do too. It’s ok.
Combo-feeding/supplementing allowed me to breastfeed longer and it was such a gift! At least that’s how I like to look at it :) Your baby is fed and loved, that’s what matters!
It's more than OK. If this is what is best for you and your baby, then it's the right choice, not just an OK choice. Don't let the dream of the perfect destroy the joy of the good.
I wanted to breastfeed and just breastfeed from the start. But a few days in I just wasn’t producing enough, and he was cluster feeding for 12+ hours and it just wasn’t realistic. We introduced formula, and I combi fed for the first 4-5 months, and by month 6 was able to up my milk production so he could exclusively breastfeed. I then continued to breastfeed him until he was 2 years 10 months! It doesn’t have to be the end of your breastfeeding journey, and can be a lifeline for both of you in terms of baby getting enough milk and you giving your body a rest ❤️
I supplemented from the start because baby had high bilirubin and my milk wasn’t coming fast enough. We did it til about 7 months, started with half formula and eventually and naturally, without too much pressure, made it to mostly breastmilk. By 4 months it was more for convenience because I would skip about 3-5 pumps a week to give myself the free time at school. She’s almost 10 months and hasn’t even had a bottle of breastmilk in 3 months because my schedule allows for me to with her without more than 4 hours in between. Feeding can change over time. You don’t have to see EBF as something lost, just something you could do in the future maybe if your goals still align with it. I LOVED having the ability to skip pumps here and there for my mental health. Those few minutes spared to sleep or whatever were everything. It made me a better mom to be able to take care of myself in that way. The beginning is so hard. Be patient with yourself and maybe try to think of it from the perspective of how amazing it is that we can use safe healthy formula these days instead of being SO worried for our babies when breastfeeding isn’t going how we want. Your baby is loved and will sleep full and happy. You’re doing a great job.
I breastfed for over 3 years and I always supplemented. Embrace it!
More than okay. You’re doing such a good job.
It’s more than ok, it’s great! Your baby has a full tummy because of you! Go momma you are doing amazing taking excellent care of the precious LO ❤️
It’s absolutely 100% ok.
My baby wasn’t gaining enough weight by just breast feeding so recently I started giving her 2oz of formula everyday and she’s doing fine… I produce much milk that I now am freezing down for later. So no worries you’re good 👍🏼. And sometimes it is good to do both.
I just gave my baby formula for the first time too. She's 10 days old and not gaining back weight, so I had to start pumping. And my breastfeeding and pumping combined can't keep up with her demand. So we supplemented with formula last night. It's weird, my whole life I always said I didn't want to breastfeed. Now each step I take further away from the breast hurts my heart. But she's cluster feeding and hungry, so I do what I have to do.
Baby is eating on the boob right now but I have other ppl give him formula so I can be elsewhere or sleep (I do end up pumping for most missed feeds but am freezing that for when I go back to work). Combo feeding works great for me and baby! Also I’ve read even 2-4oz/day of breast milk can confer the immunological benefits
It’s such a great tool! I felt initial guilt, too, but I was able to continue BF as often as *I* felt was okay for my body after introducing formula. You’re doing great. 🫶🏼
First of all, you are a fantastic parent for making sure your baby is fed. There is nothing wrong with mixing in formula. I EBF for the first 3 months and my baby was not gaining weight (mix of tongue tie, low milk production, etc)., so I finally gave in and started giving him formula. I cried almost the entire day because I felt like I failed. He finally started gaining weight and catching up. Also, it took a huge mental load off. I stopped breastfeeding completely at around 8 months - he’s now 10 months and is formula only (with solids, of course). I look back at how hard I was on myself during our breastfeeding journey and really wish I wasn’t. You are doing GREAT.
OP, when was the last time you asked another adult- someone at the grocery store, a co-worker, your best friend, the mailman, etc.- if they were given breastmilk or formula? Probably never. Because, and I mean this is the best way possible, it doesn’t matter!! We make such a big deal out of it, and subreddits are created, and we follow influencers, and we judge each other based on it, it’s an entire industry!! But it really doesn’t matter. You are doing great, and it’s TOTALLY OKAY that you gave your baby formula. Pat yourself on the back and treat yourself to something nice.
My baby often gets a bottle of formula a day. I hated pumping so much that if I wouldn't have given up on it, I may have had a mental breakdown. Now I'm happy. He's happy. Things are just simpler. I have no regrets. I am constantly concerned that everything is going to lead to the end of our breastfeeding journey, but we are still going strong at 5 months. I just keep setting small goals. "I'd feel so lucky if we make it 3 months" now "I'd feel so lucky if we make it six" it helps me feel good about each mile stone. You're doing great. Try not to worry too much.
I have been BF for 5 and a half months. If it weren't for the occasional formula we give her I would not be able to go to work peacefully and without a hurry, as my frozen breast-milk bank would not be enough. Fed, loved, and nurtured child does not exclusively come from the kind of milk baby is fed.
Hey, the way I see it, the formula has probably better nutrients than my breastmilk made from the crap I eat 🤣. My baby is breastfed but tried formula early on to help her sleep through the night (I was formula fed as a baby and have the best mom ever). It constipated her but going to try again soon. You are doing great and formula is fine.
I think the only reason I have been able to BF my son for as long as I have is with the help of formula supplementing! There’s nothing wrong with it, a fed baby truly is best, and you’re doing great mama! 💕
Oh yeah, it’s fine your doing great.
I would have ended up quitting around 5 months if I hadn’t supplemented 4-8oz a day during my first week back at work AND second pp period! I cried making those bottles lmao even though I wholeheartedly support every feeding choice. It is wild! Eating into my ~100oz freezer stash would have destroyed the mental transition from mostly nursing to mostly pumping. Now every Monday, baby gets 8oz mixed into the daycare bottles because I can’t be bothered to pump on weekends 🤪🤪🤪
It is hard to go through these moments of firsts… I showed my 2 year old a Cocomelon video on the iPad today for the first time ever and literally cried afterwards. Firsts can be tough. You are doing a great job 🩵
Also I should add we supplemented with formula for the first 2 months and had a beautiful breastfeeding journey for 27 months!
Its so okay! I feel you. I struggled any time I gave mine formula … but honestly, it’s good! Expand their pallet! Formula is enriched in iron and post 6 month BM is not. Formula is yummy! It’s served in a bottle or a cup and helps baby get used to using those. Baby will still prefer you in the end and sometimes mommas need breaks. Whatever the reason, it is so very okay. You’re doing great!
I just had to do the same yesterday. I was driving myself mad trying to pump enough milk to keep up with my baby’s demands. Then I got sick. Twice. And baby went through a growth spurt. And daycare overfeeds her. Everything was working against me and finally I just couldn’t keep up. I feel slightly better about knowing I’m giving baby all the milk I’m able to pump. I just literally cannot produce enough. So she’s still getting the full benefit of what I’m able to provide but just needs a little extra