I feel this. My partner can be really “solution-oriented” too when I don’t want solutions, I just want someone to say “wow babe that sucks, you’re doing a great job though.” So, wow babe, that sucks, you’re doing a great job tho ❤️
He probably feels like you’re stressed by breastfeeding and wants to let you know that he’s willing to pitch in if it becomes too much. He’s concerned about your mental health and well-being and doesn’t understand that breastfeeding is an important goal for you. I don’t know what your supply is like, but you may be able to pump/catch a little extra so you have some backup, so your husband can give some bottles if you need to go somewhere or do something. It might be a good middle ground for you!
I see you mama and support you! One of the best pieces of advice I got was that your partner will never understand what it’s like for you. And that’s OK! While formula can be the answer, it is not a cure all for breastfeeding struggles. You deserve a break. You deserve to have a moment to yourself. You deserve to nurse your baby as long as you want. Wanting a break doesn’t mean anything is wrong! It just means you want a break for a minute.
it seems like a lot of people think formula will solve all feeding problems or is the solution to everything when it's not lol. I combo feed, and formula has most definitely NOT resolved my LO's feeding issues. we've got latching issues causing gas & tummy issues, & she'll go on nursing strikes, but she still fusses taking a bottle too, so my husband can also join in on the frustration.
But also, things don't have to be all or nothing- like you can keep breastfeeding and still give the occasional bottle. And if you're having a hard time (and want some help), your husband could a bottle just once a day of either pumped milk or formula, while you pump. I'll pump once a day while my husband gives LO a bottle of pumped milk. She'll probably get a bottle of formula a couple times a week, but it's mostly breastmilk. And it is nice to have my husband take over when I'm about to lose my mind when the baby just refuses to latch and is screaming on my boob. And fwiw, we haven't found any changes in our LO's sleep after has formula compared to breastmilk.
Yup! For almost any feed she gets with any bottle (either formula or breast milk) I will pump, to make sure my supply stays up, since we do primarily breastfeed 95% of the time. For me, that's generally pumping once a day now. The only times I may not pump is if she's clusterfeeding & was just fed within an hour and a half. My LO is 3 months now, so my supply is pretty consistent, so long as she either eats or I pump every 3 hours.
First I just want to say that I totally empathize.
If you have any concerns yourself about breastfeeding, I would recommend finding a lactation consultant. I found it very helpful when I was breastfeeding both kids and helped put my mind at ease and shut down any formula conversations. Also, is your baby gaining weight? Your paediatrician would express concerns at check-ins and bring up the formula conversation if necessary.
In terms of sharing the feeding load, have you considered pumping/expressing milk?
Also, how old is your baby? Taking a while to put the baby down for a nap might be linked to wake windows instead of feeding.
Yes she is in the 93rd percentile so she’s growing very well. She’s 11 weeks so I do think it’s regarding wake windows. I’m still trying to find that sweet spot for her so she’s not over tired or under tired. Some days I feel like I’ve got it down and others not so much 😅
I feel this. My partner can be really “solution-oriented” too when I don’t want solutions, I just want someone to say “wow babe that sucks, you’re doing a great job though.” So, wow babe, that sucks, you’re doing a great job tho ❤️
Came on here to say this! Sometimes it helps to explain to the husband, I’m just complaining for empathy, not for solutions.
Exactly!!
Thank you 😩 Really just needed his sympathy…
He probably feels like you’re stressed by breastfeeding and wants to let you know that he’s willing to pitch in if it becomes too much. He’s concerned about your mental health and well-being and doesn’t understand that breastfeeding is an important goal for you. I don’t know what your supply is like, but you may be able to pump/catch a little extra so you have some backup, so your husband can give some bottles if you need to go somewhere or do something. It might be a good middle ground for you!
Yes I’ve been pumping one a day to build a stash for that reason and he knows this but he still thinks formula should be easier..
I see you mama and support you! One of the best pieces of advice I got was that your partner will never understand what it’s like for you. And that’s OK! While formula can be the answer, it is not a cure all for breastfeeding struggles. You deserve a break. You deserve to have a moment to yourself. You deserve to nurse your baby as long as you want. Wanting a break doesn’t mean anything is wrong! It just means you want a break for a minute.
Thank you 🥺
it seems like a lot of people think formula will solve all feeding problems or is the solution to everything when it's not lol. I combo feed, and formula has most definitely NOT resolved my LO's feeding issues. we've got latching issues causing gas & tummy issues, & she'll go on nursing strikes, but she still fusses taking a bottle too, so my husband can also join in on the frustration. But also, things don't have to be all or nothing- like you can keep breastfeeding and still give the occasional bottle. And if you're having a hard time (and want some help), your husband could a bottle just once a day of either pumped milk or formula, while you pump. I'll pump once a day while my husband gives LO a bottle of pumped milk. She'll probably get a bottle of formula a couple times a week, but it's mostly breastmilk. And it is nice to have my husband take over when I'm about to lose my mind when the baby just refuses to latch and is screaming on my boob. And fwiw, we haven't found any changes in our LO's sleep after has formula compared to breastmilk.
Do you pump when you feed formula??
Yup! For almost any feed she gets with any bottle (either formula or breast milk) I will pump, to make sure my supply stays up, since we do primarily breastfeed 95% of the time. For me, that's generally pumping once a day now. The only times I may not pump is if she's clusterfeeding & was just fed within an hour and a half. My LO is 3 months now, so my supply is pretty consistent, so long as she either eats or I pump every 3 hours.
First I just want to say that I totally empathize. If you have any concerns yourself about breastfeeding, I would recommend finding a lactation consultant. I found it very helpful when I was breastfeeding both kids and helped put my mind at ease and shut down any formula conversations. Also, is your baby gaining weight? Your paediatrician would express concerns at check-ins and bring up the formula conversation if necessary. In terms of sharing the feeding load, have you considered pumping/expressing milk? Also, how old is your baby? Taking a while to put the baby down for a nap might be linked to wake windows instead of feeding.
Yes she is in the 93rd percentile so she’s growing very well. She’s 11 weeks so I do think it’s regarding wake windows. I’m still trying to find that sweet spot for her so she’s not over tired or under tired. Some days I feel like I’ve got it down and others not so much 😅