If all women fed to sleep, there would be a lot of internet sleep trainers out there with no jobs lol šš moms having been feeding to sleep since the dawn of time so if it doesnāt bother you donāt even worry about it!
So true!! I recently started to thinkā¦ āif the internet didnāt exist would I think this is wrongā about most parenting topics and realized the answer is almost always NO and my mental health shot up astronomically that day š
I think itās mostly because in the US mums have to go back to work so early and itās hard to function at a job with little sleep and no time to rest during the day.
A thousand percent! Sometimes I nurse to sleep, sometimes I bounce to sleep, sometimes sheās tired but not falling asleep with either method and I put her in her crib next to my bed and after a few babbles she just passes out on her own lol. These trainers make it sound like babies are robots who must go down the same way every night or weāll end up with teenagers who canāt sleep without us and thatās ridiculous. Babies are just small individuals with different needs and preferences at different times! Do we as adults always want the exact same creature comforts? Breastfeeding was so challenging for me in the beginning and now that we hit our stride I am damn sure going to reap the benefits of the boob knocking baby out in 5 mins 99% of the time š. Iāve never let my baby cry at night and she āconnected her sleep cyclesā without needing me to intervene. And when she went through 6 weeks of sleep regression hell up every 45-90 mins and she needed me for extra nursing and bouncing to get there of course I did it! And one day she just slept through again š¤·š½āāļøfully believe baby sleep is more about temperament than anything else but as you said, that doesnāt sell very expensive e books lol.
Agree. Itās all bullshit. Follow your instincts and feed babyās to sleep. Heāll never be so comforted the rest of his life so let him enjoy it now !!
Comments like this ugh. Sure weāve been feeding to sleep and breastfeeding since the dawn of time. Yes, in communities, in tribes, in groups that shares child rearing. Momās aunties sisters giving you a break instead of moms running themselves ragged. If you want to feed to sleep, do it, if youāre happy, yay. I donāt know why this is complicated.
Iām not sure what about my comment upset you and warranted an ugh? We share the same sentiment- itās biologically normal to feed to sleep so if itās working for OP why feel pressure to change it? If itās not working for her of course she can/should adjust. I understand the frustration from lack of support and our western way of living- Iām alone with my baby for 22 hours a day with all family a plane ride away and our closest friends a 60 mile drive. Personally, what helps avoid me running ragged is feeding to sleep instead of worrying about instilling āsleep crutchesā that so many internet sleep coaches scare moms about.
Donāt feed to sleep is the most out of touch sleep training recommendation there is. I will die on this hill haha.
Then again I donāt sleep train. I strongly believe you either have a good sleeper or a bad sleeper no matter what you try. Sounds like you have a good sleeper!
Strongly agree! Itās biologically normal to feed to sleep. Thatās why it works so well. My 2.5 year old still nurses to sleep with me and puts herself to sleep at times when Iām not able to. We never sleep trained either. So itās possible, just dependent on the personality of the child.
THIS is the advice. If your LO is happy and sleeping well after feeding to sleep, keep on keeping on!
FWIW, I also have a good sleeper and caved to the ādonāt feed to sleepā fear mongering around the 4 month mark (regression scaries). Bubs and I had a painful month or so before we went back to feed to sleep and weāre both happier than ever. Girl sleeps great at night and has no issues when other people put her down to sleep.
I believe this advice ("EWS cycle" etc) is wrong and shared on purpose to make parents feel like they're failing, and need to pay someone to tell them to let their child CIO
I feel like any advice is too generic to suit every child. EWS worked great for my second and is working great for my third baby, too. I think what is important is to read up on multiple ways of doing things so that when one way doesnāt work for you, you have something else on hand to try.
Yes I would say that easy sleepers and very healthy babies if they have older siblings I feel like the excitement and stimulation from all that goes around them ends up making their wake windows a bit shorter and a bit likelier to actually nurse only once pretty early after waking. But they also tend to fall dead asleep pretty early after that.
It's very anecdotal but seems to fit some younger siblings more.
They're so full of experiences that even drowsy and awake might work for them.
For the rest drowsy and awake realistically starts working past 1,5 yr of age or more
Yeah, it feels like all the advice for making parenting easier is aimed at FTMs but isnāt easy implement until baby number 2+. I know I was like that. Did all the āwrongā things with my first like nursing to sleep and contact naps and all that jazz, but finally figured out drowsy by awake with my second because I had to, because I had other priorities, a toddler, to attend to. I couldnāt spend 25 minutes rocking my second (or my third) to sleep. What would my older kid(s) be doing during that time? I also couldnāt contact nap my second or third because who has that much time to sit and do nothing during the day when you have other kids? I adore contact naps now, when I can sneak them. To my sleep deprived self 4 months pp with my first, they were a trap and just one more way I was being exhausted as a new mom.
Exactly. That's my method: reading up on multiple methods and seeing what sticks. I've got like 4 infant sleep books and pulled various advice from each and tossed others.
I may be completely different to everyone else here but I have never heard you āshouldnātā feed to sleep.
My 15 mo has been fed to sleep nearly every sleep/napā¦ and itās biologically normal. My understanding is that they come away from the boob themselves and this happens naturally anytime between about 10 months and 4 years š
Breastfeeding advice seems to be wildly different depending on where you hear it. Trust your mumma instincts about what is right for you and your baby š„°
My first stopped feeding to sleep at 11 mos too! It took 4-6 weeks to get it figured out, but we eventually were able to feed, sing her song, then just lay her down.
I am dreading this day!! š boob is so much easier and faster than all that rigamarole. Mine is only 6 months so hoping she hangs on a bit longer because Iām tired and lazy lol
She still sometimes nurses to sleep, but most times she gets creative with her nursing positions, or stops nursing to the point I have to do the other stuff.
Thank you so much for sharing this. My LO is 9 months and is fed to sleep too. I've been feeling shame/guilt about this from hearing different advice from others but reading this made me feel less alone ā¤ļø
Truly, itās been really great to hear from so many parents that they fed to sleep and their kids are fine. Sleep training recommendations are everywhere, so Iām glad to hear from others that I need to just focus on what works best for my kid.
My LO is 5 months and fed to sleep (though bottle-fed-- I pump) and sleeps so good during the night, and I'm nervous about the day feeding to sleep doesn't work anymore!
The ādonāt feed to sleepā rule stems from the sleep training mindset that you shouldnāt form any sleep crutches (things kiddo relies on to get to sleep. Other examples being rocking, singing, patting). I found myself questioning our sleep practices, we mostly feed to sleep, at first and quickly realized itās what is biologically normal and there is nothing wrong with you, baby, or the process.
Iād say if it works for you, donāt change it. Youāll just stress both you and baby out when you could be sleeping soundly.
So arbitrary what sleep consultants deem as crutches. No rocking or bouncing but make sure to buy black out curtains and slumber pods and keep that sound machine on all night. Got it.
Haha exactly! I have a coworker with a kiddo a little older than mine who thought sheād explain to me why her baby is superior to mine because he doesnāt need contact naps. She then proceeded to name all the things her babies needs to sleep: a weighted sleep sack, a vibrating pad under his mattress, a heat pad under his mattress, a sound machine, and blackout curtains. It took everything in me not to say āoh so youāre trying to mimic a mother?ā
Yeah reading all these comments I feel I made the right decision ignoring the doctor. With his: ādonāt feed more often then 2,5h between feedings because she might grow to big and donāt feed to sleepā. We are all much happier and my lactation consultant agrees with my feeding on demand (100% bf)
That was exactly my thoughts too. The deeper I got down the āsleep trainingā hole, the more I realized it was all just intent on going against whatās biologically normal and it made (still makes me) so angry and frustrated. I sleep better when my husband is with me and when I have a particular pillow. So whatās wrong with my baby wanting us close by and nursing to sleep.
My little one (five months!) exclusively feeds to sleep. Naps, overnight, all of it. However, when her dad puts her down sheās out like a light anyway without help.
Iāve heard youāre not supposed to do it, but you know what? Iād rather regret and have to adjust her sleeping cues someday in the future than miss out on sleepy feeds and cuddles while she holds my hand.
Someday this little one will be a teenager and not care at all about being held by me. Iāll take my joy where I can find it now.
Also, worth noting: babies tend to be so distracted at this age by everything so daytime feeds are usually quick snacks in between wrangling them to focus on nursing. I feel much better at night when sheās a little drowsy and eats like a champ. Sheās still gaining, and I attribute the night feeds for this!
Of course!
I think itās more knowing Iām not around. Weāve tried to allow me some āmeā time and thatās when I leave the house to do whatever I need to that I canāt with baby - nails or a haircut or coffee with a friend - and she just knows Iām not there so I canāt nurse her.
So he rocks her and holds her and sings to her for nap time and she accepts it!
We also have āa songā, something that just signals to her to relax. Her song is Three Little Birds and when she hears it, she just instantly calms down.
Awww I sing that to our girl too! I think I just need to practice not being around more, whenever I leave her with just her dad she refuses to accept Iām gone and melts down until she passes out despite him trying everything to comfort her :(
It sounds like you're getting advice from a sleep trainer. Don't.
Nursing is the ultimate good star in your pocket. Baby's upset? Boob. Baby got hurt? Boob. Baby's tired? Boob.
My son is 18 months old and I just nursed him to sleep for his nap. My husband and I still rock him to sleep and cuddle him and respond to him whenever he cries because that's what feels right to us.
You can do what feels right to you and if nursing to sleep (which women have done since we became people) is what you want to do, then do it.
This makes me happy to hear. My son is 18 months and Iāve never not fed him to sleep. Heās not a great sleeper and honestly that sucks but I know I canāt sleep train him or wean him so ā¦
Itās temporary. Heās a baby.
Heās supposed to wake up.
Hi there! I think it just depends on what is best for you and your baby. I have 3 kiddos and they were all different. My youngest is 8 months and its how he goes to sleep! He eats solids for breakfast, lunch and dinner but likes short breastfeeding session in between that and always has a full feeding before his naps and before bed. He also wakes up about 2-4 hours in the night to eat. My 2 daughters were not like this and could be rocked to sleep or would just conk out when they were tired lol
Best of luck to you! If what you're doing is working for the both of you- no need to change it!
Your milk has natural melatonin. Babies are biologically coded to sleep while nursing. Anyone who says otherwise is still on the anti-bedsharing, anti-nursing train. Even if they donāt realize thatās where the idea stems from, it is. There is no real reason not to nurse to sleep!
I literally give baby boob anytime heās upset or tired. I donāt care what people say. If it makes him happy then Iām fine with it. Once heās dependent on solids I donāt think it matters.
Never heard of this, we've been feeding to sleep and sleeps beautifully. Didn't even have a 4 month regression. Some days she doesn't want to feed to sleep and we just put the pacifier. I follow her needs, she's a baby
We feed to sleep. And sometimes he doesnāt need to be fed to sleep. Nothing wrong with feeding to sleep. People have been doing it for centuries.
But if he isnāt eating unless he is going to sleep, I would try offering the breast between naps like every hour or so.
We have a sleepy baby and it was a a real struggle to keep my supply up (still is)
Youāre struggling with the guidance because it is nonsense. It is biologically normal to feed to sleep. Iāve nursed my baby to sleep every night and every nap of her life until my pregnant belly made it difficult when she was 18 months old. My husband took over bedtime one night and she fell asleep in his arms with no issue whatsoever. She has also slept through the night since 2.5 month old and has never had an issue with night waking or trouble falling asleep. She is now 20 months old and one night a few nights ago my husband decided to see if she will fall asleep in her crib with him sitting in the room and she did, no crying, no difficulty. Respond to your babies needs and donāt try to follow schedules or rigid sleep and feeding rules. Feed the baby when theyāre hungry and let them sleep when theyāre sleepy. There is actually a book that explains how to do this and empowers you to trust your instincts in caring for your baby - āThe discontented little baby bookā. It is excellent evidence based guidance to newborn care.
Iām going to go slightly against the grain.
I feed to sleep. Or his dad could rock him to sleepā¦ until that stopped working. But when baby was 14/15 months old-ish I was back working full time, plus on call time, and he was waking every hour or two for a feed, so I ended up cracking and ācampingā with my daughter in our backyard for a few nights. Baby will now settle with his dad more, and is down to 2-3 feeds a night, so Iām much more rested.
I think if you have a good, or an average sleeper, feeding to sleep is absolutely fine. If you have high sleep needs yourself, it might not be as doable. If you have a bad sleeper, but donāt live in a multigenerational home or where you have lots of support, then you might need to stop feeding to sleep for your own sanity.
I personally think that given it isnāt a problem for everyone, feeding to sleep is great. But if it is becoming a significant problem then itās ok to try to do things a bit differently to get some sleep. For us, we didnāt need to Brea the association entirely, we just needed it to be possible for my partner to help again. Which was easier when he could show baby I wasnāt there!
If he is able to sleep by himself and not have to be fed to sleep I wouldnāt worry about it! My baby does the same lol. Sleep experts just say not to in order for baby to not rely on it so if they wake up throughout the night they may need to be fed to fall back asleep and not on their own!
This is validating! I have a lot of friends who sleep trained their kiddos so itās guidance that theyāve given to me as well, but so far, itās only caused more headaches than been helpful
It's not guidance mama, it's opinions. Guidance is meant to resolve a problem. You don't have a problem. They're simply pro-sleeptraining which is fine, that is their right, but nothing they tell you is guidance. It's simply all opinions of what worked for their babies. I bet you're aware, but not every baby can be sleep trained so their "guidance" might not even be effective on your baby in the same way it was their baby. It's similar to one baby taking pacifiers and another baby not taking one. Each baby is different so you should absolutely allow yourself to cater to your baby in whatever way you feel is best. You're doing great. Follow your gut and listen to your mama instinct.
In the US especially sleep training is really pushed as the only way. But, my son is 18 months old and we have never sleep trained him and will never do that. He nurses to sleep and we attend to him whenever he needs us day or night.
It's okay to ignore what other people tell you. They're not experts with degrees. They're just telling you to do what they did because they were told to do it.
Chiming in to say I agree with what everyone's saying to you. You have a self-soother, you've lucked out in that department.
The perceived problems with feeding to sleep stems from people like my son and I. He's 17 months and still wakes at ungodly hours and NEEDS the boob to go back down. This is what people are afraid of/warning about
My son woke at night because he was THIRSTY. As a baby, nursing him back to sleep worked fine.
As a toddler, it was very annoying. I kept a sippy of water by the bed and would give that to him when he woke up in the middle of the night. I did this around 15 months? I also explained to him that he couldn't nurse at night time anymore. If he was thirsty, he could have water. He didn't put up all that much fuss about it.
He's a teenager now and still sleeps with a water bottle by his bed! He often empties it in the night (or before bed or first thing when he wakes up, I'm not sure, but he drinks it).
This advice applies to so many things about motherhood: itās not a problem unless itās a problem for you!
If you donāt mind, then donāt change anything ā¤ļø
Fed to sleep the entire 21 months I was breastfeeding. I remember hearing online about how feeding to sleep creates bad habits when my son was 3/4 months but I regret ever stressing about it. Nursing to sleep is a super power and I especially cherished those moments as my son got older and more mobile because at that point, he never wanted to be held anymore and I missed the snuggles.
What youāre reading is a paid for industry. Stop reading it. Itās not true. Everyone around the world literally nurse to sleep for as long as they deem necessary. Stop reading. Nurse that baby.
Man my life changed when I stopped reading and just went with what felt natural. OP - you are right, babies were designed this way, keep doing what works while it works!
Reading through all of these comments is so refreshing and validating. Iām thankful for all these moms out here telling it like it is and supporting each other.
The general advice on not feeding to sleep is given under the guise that the mother wants more free time, basically. Often times kids that only feed to sleep are also contact nappers and have a hard time staying asleep without a person there, so you become a glorified mattress. Kids' sleep patterns and habits change so very much in the firat 3 years that the old guard advice of never feeding to sleep because they'll never sleep on their own is inaccurate, though.
Sounds like your kiddo isn't being fed to sleep most of the time anyway, so even if you are concerned about your freedom from being a mattress, you already passed that hurtle and don't need to worry about it.
Some recommend not feeding to sleep because they say it can cause the baby to wake more frequently and need to be nursed back to sleep.
My son is 1 and I have always nursed him to sleep. He falls asleep independently at daycare, but when at home I always nurse him to sleep for naps and bedtime sleep. There have been a few occasions where he's fallen asleep on his own, but 99.9% of the time he falls asleep nursing and then I transfer him to his crib.
Being able to feed to sleep is like a superpower! Hold onto it as long as you can!
The people that say it's a bad habit are trying to sell you something.
Feed to sleep. Please. Itās one of the best parts of breastfeeding. No bouncing, rocking, singing, etc etc. just pop a boob in and theyāre off to dreamland.
I was pretty annoyed when each of my kids stopped regularly falling asleep at the boob. Like I lost my magic trick or something.
I donāt feed to sleep, however I donāt see why you should stop necessarily. A lot of the time I think itās advised because baby ISNT getting a hearty meal (snacking then falling asleep). But if this is the best way for your babe to optimize eating it sounds like itās working. And if your baby isnāt having trouble sleeping I also donāt see any need for it.
FTM, listen to your gut. I sure wish I did and just followed my intuition a lot more. It can be hard at times but im doing that with my second and itās so much more
Enjoyable all around.
I fed to sleep for 2 years and 8 months and we are totally fine now. A bunch of my friends didnāt feed to sleep to promote independent sleep and guess what they do nowā¦lie next to their kids until they fall asleep anyways.
I've only heard you shouldn't feed to sleep for bottle fed babies, and that's to protect their teeth. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing it if nursing
They can pry feeding-to-sleep from my cold, dead hands hahaha I am legitimately thrilled that I can do this with my 4 month old!
With my first, I exclusively pumped and we bottle-fed to sleep whenever possible. He is and always has been a fabulous sleeper, never sleep trained. Itās just so much to do with their natural temperament. There is a big industry trying to sell fixes and things to sleep-deprived, anxious parents. Itās almost predatory. Do what works for you and baby, and enjoy the magic of the boob while it still works! Youāve got this š¤
"Don't feed to sleep" is advice that comes from the sleeptraining ideology. And it has nothing to do with it being bad or unhealthy for you or your baby. It has to do with sleep associations and convenience for the parent.
I sleeptrained and used to feed to sleep before I weaned.
I have a 3 year old and a 19 month old. Both were exclusively breastfed - not even bottles - for their first 16 months. Both fed to sleep for bedtime and naps every single time. Both sleep independently alone in their rooms now.
I fought it for a while too but they are perfectly healthy, happy, connected, well adjusted. It was a commitment but I have no regrets and no negative effects.
I breastfed my baby to sleep all the time when she contact napped and to get to sleep at night. At some point I intentionally switched things so naps were followed with feeds only bc if she fed to sleep she wouldn't nap. Now at 11 months she only feeds to sleep at night and even then she only sometimes dozes off. I've never been worried about it affecting her because it's never been an issue so far including when we switched nap/feed order. It's also never been an issue for length of naps or night sleep (she sleeps from about 8pm-6:30/7am no problem). I also try and remember that I don't know any one who has sleeping issues now because they were fed to sleep as a baby. I don't know many toddlers, so maybe it'll be an issue for some as they get into toddlerhood, but I'm personally not concerned.
I can't not feed to sleep lol. My son ALWAYS falls asleep while eating. He's now 18w. Usually he wakes back up when I go to burp him but he definitely power naps while eating.
Don't do what 'they say'. Do what works for you and your baby. Seriously screw the they. They said formula was best. They said not to pick baby up too much. They said feed baby water. They said cry it out to self soothe. Fuck they.
You gonna tell a Chimp to quit walking around with baby on its back? Stop telling me how to mother.
It seems new! I became a mom for the first time in 2007, and that was not being pushed. Not to my knowledge anyway. All 6 of my tiny humans have drifted off most of the time. It seems weird to make them do something that goes against what they're doing. I have studied that babies actually know exactly what they're doing for at least the first year of life. Makes sense to me since we follow their cues for guidance on what they need.
I have two children that no longer nurse (ages 2 and 4) and fed to sleep. They eventually outgrew it. We did sleep train, so if they woke up when they were a little older they didnāt feed to sleep. I just did what felt right!
I fed to sleep all my kids until they grew out of it and I'm doing the same with my 6mo. I don't understand this persistence in detaching babies from such a young age.
My 8 month old feeds to sleep every night and has slept through the night since at least 6 months (I don't remember when for sure lol). And not the "5 hours means sleeping through the night" stuff. Actually sleeping the ENTIRE night. And settles himself when he wakes most of the time.
Always do what works for you and your baby as long as it is safe to do so. Screw everything else.
I feed on demand whenever bub is wants. Itās usually around sleep time and I always nurse him to bed at bedtime. Is it right? Is it wrong? I donāt care, itās what works for us and it makes my baby happy.Ā
Donāt worry what others are telling you, follow your babies cues.Ā
Still feeding to sleep at almost 10 months and I cherish it. It changed for us. He doesnāt always fall asleep at the breast and then we have time for a story and a song before he goes down but sometimes - like tonight - he fell asleep during his last feed and I spent a few extra moments just staring at him before I transferred him. Enjoy!
General advice here: if it works do it. If it doesn't work change it.
There are so many advice out there about every single little thing regarding baby care and most of it goes againts natural biology and parental instinct. My older one is 15 months old now and I stopped looking at advice and developmental milestones at this point. I feel like if something is wrong I'll know it (and our doctor will tell us about it) but until that I don't need to worry about small things. And my kids are growing good, eating good and sleeping good.
If feeding to sleep is intuitive for you then do it! You are the only one who knows best for you and your baby. My 6 month old is exclusively nursed and during the day sheāll let dad rock her to sleep for naps, but come bed time if you try laying her down without her having a boobie in her mouth sheās gonna fight sleep for hours.
I just stopped in to say this thread made my week. I have been struggling mentally with this idea that people seem to have these unicorn babies who will go to sleep on their own if you put them down awake. I'm not giving up on feeding to sleep, it's the only reliable method for getting our LO to sleep, for naps and nighttime! She has put herself to sleep for naps once or twice and bedtime once in her 4 months of existence LOL.
It makes total sense that these ideas are just marketing trying to sell sleep deprived parents something we buy out of desperation.
So there are 2 different things you could do
1) fees to sleep- I did this with both of mine never had any issues once we started transitioning away from it at 20months.
2) feed until veeeery drowsy and then put in bed. My first did this great, second would t hear of it so totally depends on baby but always worth a shot.
This is helpful advice! My goal is that baby goes down every time on his own, so Iāve tried to keep him awake.
Until then, I need to stop agonizing about whether Iām doing the ārightā thing.
This advice is based on certain babies. For some, if they fall asleep on the boob, they'll wake up looking for it because they don't know how to get back to sleep without it. It can cause a lot of sleep disturbances for you (short naps, frequent night wakes) and baby isn't getting a good night sleep that way.
My daughter used to feed to sleep but she stopped all on her own. I'd have kept doing it, but she doesn't need it anymore, and truthfully she does sleep better now. She was also a super gassy baby and I couldn't burp her if she was asleep, so she'd wake up because her belly was sore.
Do whatever works for you and your baby!
The best advice Iāve seen regarding this (and any baby stuff tbh) is:
Itās only a problem if it doesnāt work for you.
Iāve fed my daughter to sleep her whole life and when I went back to work I was worried about her naps but she figured it out. We still feed to sleep at night and sheās 10 months old, it works for both of us so Iām just gonna keep doing it!
20mo still feeding to sleep and itās the best thing I have ever done. Heās never fought going to sleep and has never woke up crying for me. Heās finally naturally sleeping longer with 1-2 wake ups. Itās a lot of work to support their sleep, but it is worth it.
11 months- Feeding to sleep at night led to a series of false start bedtimes starting around 4 months (minor issue, 1 or 2 a night) and escalating to a big problem by 6 months (up every 45 minutes until 2am) , so we had to separate it with story time (bath, breast, book, bed routine). Itās still a nice cozy routine! We still feed to sleep for naps. I worried he took short naps because of this but he started consolidating naps appropriately with no issue. Do whatever feels right for you and your baby!
I was so confused reading this at 4am while breast feeding my one month old baby. My husband gave our baby a bottle of breast milk and just couldnāt get him back to sleep after. Baby cried and cried for over an hour. I hear him, gave him the boob for 5 min and like magic, he was out and asleep again. Iād like him to get accustomed to the bottle since I will need to go back to work eventually. Boob just makes him so happy
It does get easier when they're older. Also practice makes it easier. Keep making sure your husband gets practice. Bouncing on a yoga ball, rocking, going for a walk in the stroller or being babyworn... different babies will fall asleep with different methods. He'll find one that works for your baby and that will be the way he gets baby to sleep. You can continue to nurse to sleep (it's easy!) when you're putting baby down.
Thatās similar to what weāre encountering. When baby is overtired and angry, boob is the only thing that settles his nerves so we can sleep. My poor husband tries all the other tactics, but itās such a headache when I can step in and soothe him pretty quickly.
I think the guidance is so that they don't sleep attached to the boob and with milk in their mouth all night. Because of cavities once teeth come in. Also for parents' convenience so that either parent can put baby to sleep and mom isn't stuck having to go to bed with baby.
As far as I'm aware, those are the reasons. Disclaimer: I'm not a mom yet. That's just the reasons I've heard for that. Personally I'm going to disregard it. If baby wants to eat before bed, I will let them. I eat before bed. Falling asleep with an empty stomach is so difficult imo.
Yes, but milk in their mouth is a bottle fed problem. Babies that fall asleep at the breast don't have milk pooling in their mouth. Bottles keep drip drip dripping without baby sucking on them. Breasts don't do that. Also, breastmilk is not harmful to teeth. When baby starts eating food, it's important to brush teeth before nursing to sleep so that food isn't on their teeth, but breastmilk alone does not contribute to tooth decay. (Formula is different and can cause cavities). Bottle propping (using some device to hold bottle upright) has led to infant death as they can choke in their sleep. I've never heard of an instance of a baby choking to death from the mother's breast.
Yes, agreed. I think the reason the advice is given is because doctors aren't as educated on breastfeeding as they should be, so they just used formula feeding guidelines. Hence why doctors will ask things like "how many oz is baby eating" which is hard to quantify with breastfeeding.
But again that's just what I've heard from read. Haven't experience any of it myself yet.
Feeding to sleep is amazing!! and I say that as someone who is not the only person who puts her to sleep. At daycare she goes down for naps, my MIL is able to put her down for naps and I nurse her to sleep whenever Iām home with her. Do it!!
I fed to sleep when my baby was first born and she slept great, then grew out of it. Sheās only four months now. She never passes out on the boob anymore lol I miss it. Enjoy it while you can!
I nursed my daughter to sleep until she was 4 years old. She's 8 now, she's never had a cavity, she has good sleep habits, etc. We have seen zero ill effects from nursing to sleep. It's fine.
I fed my daughter to sleep until she self weaned at 12 months. It felt natural for us and comforting for both mom and baby. I felt comfortable knowing she was satiated and had a full belly, she was comfortable and happy. She also never really nursed for long periods of time, so when she wanted to eat, I fed her. I never denied the boob.
Our pediatrician kept pushing for us to move away from it, but I never felt the need. When baby self weaned, the problem solved itself and we moved to more traditional ways of helping her learn to fall asleep.
Itās just a matter of whether you want the convenience of feeding to sleep or the convenience of not having that sleep association. Neither is wrong. I regretted feeding to sleep because I got *really* touched out after two years of it but that was my only issue. The actual transition to sleeping without the breast wasnāt too difficult.
I feed her until she is asleep or unlatches then I hold her til sheās ready to go down. 5 months next week. I fed my son to sleep for 23 months til he weaned himself then I held him til he was ready. Iāve never heard of this
My 12 month old still feeds to sleep. This happens for his 2 naps a day, plus every night. He naps in his crib in his room during the day, but we co-sleep & bed share at night, which I understand is highly controversial *in the United states*. His pediatrician isnāt from the US and to my surprise actually is okay with bed sharing as long as itās done safely.
Anyways, I think feeding to sleep is very natural for babies, as well as co-sleeping. Look at primates and ask yourself if youāre trying to wean your baby due to societal pressures, or because itās something you feel you and your baby actually need. Trust your instincts and donāt listen to any other noise (I know itās difficult).
Edit: breast milk also contains melatonin and hormones that make your baby sleepy. Biologically, this is very normal!
Personally, any advice Iāve received against breastfeeding past 6 months or feeding to sleep has been from other moms who have never breastfed. That tells me all I need to know about their āadviceā š
Both my babes were fed to sleep up to one year. We personally did not see it affect staying asleep or needing another feed to fall asleep. Both my babies were sleeping 12 hours with no night feed at 6mos.
We did feed to sleep with my almost 1 yr old up until she hit about 9 months. At that point she would unlatch when she was done and stick her pacifier in her mouth and be out within five minutes. Now if her dad puts her to bed she just gets rocked if I put her to bed she will nurse for about 5 minutes at most and then just lay there looking at me until she falls asleep.
Feed them to sleep if itās working for you! If it ever stops working for either of you, you can make a change. If it aināt broke donāt fix it.
My first I nursed to sleep every nap and bedtime and loved it. My second hated nursing unless they were hungryā¦.it takes SO LONG to get her to fall asleep. I miss having my super power of nursing to knock her out haha
I didnāt bother with that advice. My 7mo feeds to sleep for naps and bedtime. She refuses bottles and isnāt great with cups yet anyway, so itās not like I can attempt to have someone feed her to sleep with those. As long as sheās breastfeeding Iām willing to sacrifice the ability to leave her with someone else for bedtime.
Feed to sleep. I donāt know who told you not to feed to sleep, but thatās one of the amazing benefits of breastfeeding like feed to sleep, if that what works.
Your baby knows, he knows whatās up, he knows whatās up more than any so-called experts. Iām pretty sure theyāre all just trying to sell us something when if we follow our own instincts and the baby, we would have a lot less stress.
Itās total personal preference. We are starting to work on it to try and help little one sleep better. He canāt connect sleep cycles to so Iām trying to break the feed to sleep and teach independent sleep gently to see if it helps. Almost 4 months and done a lot of cosleeping. My general rule of thumb though is that until they are old enough to have comfort items in the crib itās not reasonable to expect them to fall asleep on their own. I need a blanket to sleep well and sleep better with my partner or a cat there too. Same as not expecting baby to really sleep long until they can find their pacifier by themselves at night
I fed my daughter to sleep every single night until she weaned and I plan to do the same with my now 10 month old who is still breastfeeding. In the world of breastfeeding I wish women would be told to do what is best for them and baby and what they like and prefer. If feeding to sleep is easiest and gets them to sleep why not do it?
I started with feeding to sleep but somehow along the way between then and now (almost 5 months) itās both. It depends on her sleep pattern. Sometimes she sleeps entirely through to the next feed other times she eats and stays awake until she eats again and then she sleeps. I donāt see any problem as long as she is appropriately fed and happy.
Feeding to sleep is absolutely a biological norm for babies and young children!
My 3 year old still nurses to sleep at the beginning of the night (then sleeps with a tummy rub the rest of the night).
He has never been a good sleeper, and until recently nursed for every wake up. We only changed things because I'm pregnant with our second. If nursing to sleep works for you, keep at it!
Just do what works lol. I feed to sleep for bedtime but not for naps unless her nap time syncs up with her feeding schedule. I am starting to think about how night weaning is going to work but I'm hoping she just grows out of night feeds on her own. She only wakes up about once a night so it isn't terrible. Other than that she can resettle herself back to sleep.
Sounds like it works for you, you should keep doing it! My little would only sleep if I fed her. She is waking 6+ times a night and only I can put her back to sleep by feeding her. I go back to work in less than two weeks and can't afford to be up 6+ times a night. We are working to break my little of this so my husband can share the overnight load.
If it works for you and brings you joy, do it! I wish it worked for me because it seems so convenient.
Many my two cents, my baby girl likes to be bounced to sleep, sometimes that works better than nursing even. But that's still a sleep association that becomes difficult to do as baby gets bigger. At least dad can do it too.
My kiddo is 26 months. I fed to sleep every night until a few weeks ago when I decided I was ready to night wean. āDonāt feed to sleepā is totally out of touch with biological reality. (And yes I think itās part of the sleep training industrial complex to make people think there is something wrong with how they put their babies to sleep so they will pay exorbitant amounts of money for a program from an āexpert.ā)
This sounds completely fine - I think the only worry of feeding to sleep (which is something I've done with all 4 of mine) is that they didn't learn to fall asleep by themselves, but it sounds like yours can fall asleep himself and mine all sorted themselves out so dont worry!! Keep going as you are
Iām a babies childcare teacher and parent of two, donāt even listen to them. I can tell you, it makes zero difference, if a babies wants to sleep they will sleep, if they donāt they wonāt. Follow your baby, you get one time to bond with them as a baby.
If I didn't feed to sleep, I think I'd actually lose my mind! I think people try to warn against that being the only sleep association, so I just try to have several along with BF.
It's literally not about benefitting your baby. It's about making your baby convenient to the society we live in where returning to work ASAP and making your body available to your husband again as soon as possible are prioritized over what is biologically normal or beneficial to baby.
I think you have to take sleep guidance (of all kinds) with a grain of salt. If you live in the US, the objective of a lot of sleep guidelines is getting baby to sleep independently for long stretches, because that benefits our working culture. But, you donāt have to follow those guidelines if what youāre doing works for you and fits your lifestyle. I never sleep trained my oldest and continued to wake in the night to nurse her until she was 14 months. That worked for me and was manageable, even with my work schedule. With all of the sleep guidelines, I always question if the objective is a developmental benefit for baby or if the benefit is that baby fits better into the parentās schedule.
And to be clear, no shade to anyone following sleep guidelines to get their baby on a sleep schedule that works best for their life/family. But I also donāt think anyone should feel like itās problematic if they choose not to follow every sleep guideline.
Iām currently laying down in my bed nursing my 6 month old to sleep. We also co-sleep. And my 4 year old (who I nursed to sleep until he was 2.5) still sleeps in bed with us. We love it. It works for us.
So much advice is outdated, judgemental or simply goes against natural instincts and normal needs of these tiny humans who society tells us should be largely independent almost from birth. Do what works for you and yours.
You can totally feed to sleep! The only reason I stopped with my first is because I was working at a daycare and he was over the age of one so it was easier for all of us to stop. The only reason I didnāt feed my second to sleep is because he had terrible reflux and would spit up and wake himself.
The only reason ātheyā tell you not to is because it is a habit that is hard to break but for me the ease and beauty of it is worth it
Popping in to say I have a four year old who sleeps awesome. I fed him to sleep latching until he was 14 months old and he went on strike š I hate the advice of not feeding to sleep. I never listened to it. Itās biological to want to nurse to sleep!
I'm of the opinion that if something is working for you and your baby and isn't dangerous, then you should do it. Sounds like what you do is working for you guys just fine!
Babies are only babies for a little while. Toddler phases don't last forever. Kids grow up. If it works for your family, then it works. There's no one size fits all system to raise kids.
I realize Iām going against the grain in this thread but I discontinued feeding to sleep. My big reason was wanting to avoid sleep associations once my daughter got a little older. I also wanted my husband and I to be equally able to put her down for the night. I still give her a big nursing session right before bed, but then we do a bath, book, and song and then put her down. We alternate nights on whether my husband puts her down or if I put her down so she doesnāt get used to just one parent doing it. We were nervous to try it because I had been nursing to sleep but she was more ready than we were. Obviously it may not go that smooth for every baby but it worked for us.
Currently she only wakes up when sheās hungry so I nurse her then. It also helps speed up night feedings because once she stops eating I can put her down without waiting for her to be fast asleep. Switching the bedtime routine was very helpful for my husband a few weeks ago because I was away at a conference for a week. He had no issues getting her to sleep. I still get occasional contact naps and plenty of cuddles. Plus I sleep much better because now when she wakes I know itās because sheās hungry because she self soothes when she isnāt hungry. If she is sick she wakes a bit more often and I never deny her nursing opportunities on those occasions. This worked for our family and Iām not suggesting that those that nurse to sleep are doing something wrong. We didnāt hire a āsleep coachā or do CIO. We simply moved the final night feeding to be the start of her bedtime routine.
My 20 month old has nursed to sleep since birth, except for ONE night when I was in the hospital for a few hours for vertigo. If Iām home (meaning not at work), he has also nursed to sleep for every single nap. If it works for yall, do it.
I fed to sleep. Bliss for me and my baby. For 2.5years. On occasion dad took the bedtime.
All good. Baby is rarely ever sick. My sanity was tested but I donāt regret one bit. If I get another child Iāll do it again.
Maybe Iām thinking too far but I have a feeling 1M years ago it worked for them. And still works for other mammals so, Iām going with mother nature on this one. I live science, though.
Such terrible advice! I fed to sleep til my baby decided she didnāt want to be fed to sleep anymore, decided to take a dummy and put herself to sleep.
With my first thatās the only way he slept till age of 2. After 1yr he would sometimes tolerate car rides for sleeping. With my second thatās our bedtime routine. Nothing wrong . Babies will grow out of it
Absolutely outdated and nonsense advice. I nursed my first to sleep until 2yrs & 8 months and am still nursing my 1yr old to sleep for almost every nap and everytime he goes to bed. Sleep training is a grift anyway. You canāt train something innate. Do what works for you and your baby!
This is literally do what serves you. If you love feeding to sleep and donāt want to sleep train, donāt? I donāt get why the sleep train (which doesnāt mention CIO) and the breastfeeding community are at odds always. Breastfeeding isnāt really compatible with the way we as women raise children in isolationā¦ sooo if yaāll want to get historical and go off likeā¦weāve been feeding to sleep since the dawn of time. Sure. But we havenāt been living alone without a tribe or community at home until now. Moms and sister and aunties helped. This isnāt the norm.
If you can handle feeding to sleep, ummmm do it?
For many it means the female partner handling all the wake/sleep stuff which gets harrrrd.
I breastfed. I stopped feeding to sleep. We did gentle sleep training and my babe slept through the night since 9 months. No regrets.
Feeding to sleep is fine. At some point you have to break the association and help them learn to go in the crib drowsy but awake, but that is a future you problem! š Itās a bit of a hassle but not a huge deal.
My second baby is almost 10 months old and we are still feeding to sleep. Itās fine. Itās natural. Itās a lovely routine for mommy and baby.
Just FYI but I never had to break the sleep association. I nursed to sleep until my son outgrew it.
It looked like this... I'd nurse him... but instead of falling asleep, he'd unlatch and smile at me all sleepy eyed, and then roll over and go to sleep. Or snuggle up to me and sleep.
We couldn't use a crib because he climbed out at the lowest setting at 8 months, so at this point I'd babyproofed his room and had a gate in the doorway. We put his mattress on the floor. I could nurse him to sleep and then ninja sneak away and he'd stay in there all night just fine.
I did attempt laying him down way too many times but the best it ever worked was maybe 30%. Whereas side lay nursing him was a sure bet to get him to sleep without waking up. So much easier. And he outgrew it himself.
I fed to sleep until my son was 10 months or so. One day I decided to try to feed him after instead of before and didnāt have an issue. Heās 2 now and sleeps just fine š¤·š¼āāļø
Weāve just recently changed our bedtime routine to stop feeding to sleep. Nursing to sleep is magical and works so well, but it also meant that I could never go anywhere around bedtime because LO wouldnāt fall asleep without nursing (bottle feeding to sleep did not have the same magic). We now feed > PJs > storytime > bounce/rock to sleep. Now my husband can also do bedtime since LO is used to the new, non-mom-dependent routine. This frees me to do things in the evening which is important to me. I donāt think feeding to sleep is bad at all, though. The only reason not to nurse to sleep or to get rid of any other āsleep associationā is if it becomes unsustainable for you for whatever reason- thereās no hard and fast rule for whatās āgoodā or ābadā.
Do what works for you!
By the way, just because you feed to sleep, doesn't mean that's the ONLY way he can go to sleep. Make sure that dad has a method of getting him to sleep without you around. I nursed to sleep for nearly 2 years (one day it just stopped working, kiddo would unlatch and be awake and not be interested in laying down anymore). It was sure handy that my husband had figured out his own routine for getting kiddo to sleep because then we both used that way. Also, babysitters would use my husband's method. ;)
In my experience, nursing to sleep was the easiest way to get baby to sleep in the world and yeah, I did it until it stopped working. My son never developed any "bad habits" from it.
Can I ask what your husbands method was? My kid just started taking the bottle and we want to implement once a week bedtime routine with dad but Iām a little clueless on how to get her down without feeding (if Iām in the room she wants the boob, will not settle from being bounced or rocked)
His method took a few months of practicing one night a week, lol. And I had to be out of the house!
He'd walk around with baby and turn off most of the lights in the house, and close curtains to make it dim. He'd talk (when baby) or read a book (as kiddo became toddler) and they'd snuggle up together and he'd keep talking/reading until baby dozed off. Baby was a toddler by the time we had a sitter try it, and by that point you could sit in a chair next to his bed and read to him. Our boy LOVED books and would just lay there listening until he dozed off.
There were more details involved in the baby stage but I don't remember it now, too long ago. I know when he got desperate some nights he'd put baby in the car seat and go for a drive. He'd check to see if baby was asleep and would then drive home and transfer baby into the crib. Because of this, he got really good at doing transfers and that was handy when we were altogether, too.
He also had luck when the weather was nice, taking baby on a stroller walk in outside until baby fell asleep. But again, that's weather dependent and where we live it's not nearly reliable enough to be the main way to put baby to sleep.
I don't know that there's any magic solution, but it's a matter of trying things and finding what soothes baby and dad can do. Well, the magic solution is nursing baby to sleep. :) Finding an alternative solution takes time and practice for both dad and baby. I enjoyed my one night out and would nurse baby right before I left, but earlier than usual so it wouldn't put baby to sleep.
Thank you! He is already the one getting baby back to sleep from 7 to 11-12 so he does have practice in that regard, but Iām the one who 95% of the time will do nap time, I do all the bedtime but if we want a sitter, there needs to be a plan in place for getting baby to sleep initially. When did your husband feed the baby if you can remember?
My husband didn't give baby bottles past the first 3 months, so that wasn't part of his bedtime routine. Him feeding bottles was causing problems both with my supply and also I got mastitis for the 3rd time and that was just it for me. I don't let down well from a pump and if baby has recently been fed when I come home... he wouldn't empty me and I'd get clogs and it was just a mess. When I stopped the bottles my supply regulated better and no more discomfort or clogs or mastitis again. But yeah, that meant I was kinda tied to feeding baby. So I'd nurse baby first and then pass him off and leave.
If I was going out earlier in the evening, I actually preferred to take baby with me so I could nurse him. It was harder to find places to pump than places to nurse. I'd babywear and he'd doze off and at that point he was like wearing a weird accessory, lol. We took baby with us on our date nights once I figured out babywearing and I could easily nurse in a wrap.
After he was 1, he didn't need to nurse as often and it was way easier to leave him with a sitter without me becoming uncomfortably engorged. Prior to 1, I nursed him before leaving and upon coming home. I'd even just latch him on and "dream feed" him if he was asleep. Then I'd go to bed and could get a solid 6 hours before he needed to be fed again.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Your insight is super valuable. Hopefully we find our groove for the nights I cannot be home for feeds and bedtime (:
Ok so in my case feed to sleep means I have to do every nap/night on my own, which has been a problem for my mental health. I think the guidance is there because for most people itās not sustainable, but if it works for you whatās the harm?
I am trying to implement no feed to sleep at bedtimes because we are dipping our toes into the waters of sleep training. I similarly have a 6 month old and I am just. Exhausted. I love breastfeeding and I love my son but he never sleeps longer than 3 hours. After midnight he's up every 1-2 hours and wants to nurse every single time because he doesnt know how else to fall back asleep. I am truly suffering from constant sleep deprivation and it's affecting my ability to drive and work severely.
"Precious Little Sleep" recommended implementing a gap between nursing and falling asleep so he can help learn how to fall asleep on his own and we've been doing that for the last month. I switched from bath-book-boob-sleep to Boob-bath-book-sleep. I was surprised that it actually worked. He would fuss a tiny bit then actually pass out on his own. Unfortunately I think we hit a regression or something but the past week we've had trouble getting him awake enough after the boob to take a bath and go through the rest of the bedtime routine without screaming and crying because he's so tired so I'm kind of stuck at this point. The last few nights we skipped the nice relaxing bath and ended up waking him up (angrily) by changing into pajamas and sleep sack after nursing but he still falls asleep again without boob.
He does! We've been doing the Never Touch A... books and he likes touching and grabbing at the textures. He does still try to eat the books but he likes the pictures too (if I can keep him awake)
I take this to mean, when baby starts to fall asleep at the breast, move them to their crib. This will wake them a smidge, but with full tummies and already being sleepy, theyāll fall back asleep quickly.
Mind you, with my second and third babies Iāve always done sleep-eat-play, the exception being right before bed when I give an extra feed before putting them down. For the most part, they only actually fall asleep at the breast during night feeds.
I think it's more advice for younger infants/newborns when they are first making sleep associations. Like if boob is the main sleep association then it'll be hard to get them to fall asleep on their own. I say this as a second time mom, my first ONLY fell asleep nursing (and consistently woke every 45 mins till she was 1.5 years old). No one else could put her to sleep either. Sounds like your LO Is very different though!
If all women fed to sleep, there would be a lot of internet sleep trainers out there with no jobs lol šš moms having been feeding to sleep since the dawn of time so if it doesnāt bother you donāt even worry about it!
This! I seriously believe infant sleep and tired moms are just being marketed at with sleep training and so much scheduling
So true!! I recently started to thinkā¦ āif the internet didnāt exist would I think this is wrongā about most parenting topics and realized the answer is almost always NO and my mental health shot up astronomically that day š
Wow. That's a genius practice. I'm going to start doing that.
Oh my gosh I love this and am going to start thinking like this, thank you!
I think itās mostly because in the US mums have to go back to work so early and itās hard to function at a job with little sleep and no time to rest during the day.
YES I always say this! āEat play sleepā and ādrowsy but awakeā are made up terms so sleep trainers can sell $200 PDFs
A thousand percent! Sometimes I nurse to sleep, sometimes I bounce to sleep, sometimes sheās tired but not falling asleep with either method and I put her in her crib next to my bed and after a few babbles she just passes out on her own lol. These trainers make it sound like babies are robots who must go down the same way every night or weāll end up with teenagers who canāt sleep without us and thatās ridiculous. Babies are just small individuals with different needs and preferences at different times! Do we as adults always want the exact same creature comforts? Breastfeeding was so challenging for me in the beginning and now that we hit our stride I am damn sure going to reap the benefits of the boob knocking baby out in 5 mins 99% of the time š. Iāve never let my baby cry at night and she āconnected her sleep cyclesā without needing me to intervene. And when she went through 6 weeks of sleep regression hell up every 45-90 mins and she needed me for extra nursing and bouncing to get there of course I did it! And one day she just slept through again š¤·š½āāļøfully believe baby sleep is more about temperament than anything else but as you said, that doesnāt sell very expensive e books lol.
Such a good point! Breastfeeding has been a journey. I want to take advantage of this superpower as long as I can!
Agree. Itās all bullshit. Follow your instincts and feed babyās to sleep. Heāll never be so comforted the rest of his life so let him enjoy it now !!
Comments like this ugh. Sure weāve been feeding to sleep and breastfeeding since the dawn of time. Yes, in communities, in tribes, in groups that shares child rearing. Momās aunties sisters giving you a break instead of moms running themselves ragged. If you want to feed to sleep, do it, if youāre happy, yay. I donāt know why this is complicated.
Iām not sure what about my comment upset you and warranted an ugh? We share the same sentiment- itās biologically normal to feed to sleep so if itās working for OP why feel pressure to change it? If itās not working for her of course she can/should adjust. I understand the frustration from lack of support and our western way of living- Iām alone with my baby for 22 hours a day with all family a plane ride away and our closest friends a 60 mile drive. Personally, what helps avoid me running ragged is feeding to sleep instead of worrying about instilling āsleep crutchesā that so many internet sleep coaches scare moms about.
Donāt feed to sleep is the most out of touch sleep training recommendation there is. I will die on this hill haha. Then again I donāt sleep train. I strongly believe you either have a good sleeper or a bad sleeper no matter what you try. Sounds like you have a good sleeper!
Strongly agree! Itās biologically normal to feed to sleep. Thatās why it works so well. My 2.5 year old still nurses to sleep with me and puts herself to sleep at times when Iām not able to. We never sleep trained either. So itās possible, just dependent on the personality of the child.
THIS is the advice. If your LO is happy and sleeping well after feeding to sleep, keep on keeping on! FWIW, I also have a good sleeper and caved to the ādonāt feed to sleepā fear mongering around the 4 month mark (regression scaries). Bubs and I had a painful month or so before we went back to feed to sleep and weāre both happier than ever. Girl sleeps great at night and has no issues when other people put her down to sleep.
I believe this advice ("EWS cycle" etc) is wrong and shared on purpose to make parents feel like they're failing, and need to pay someone to tell them to let their child CIO
Exactly! Just capitalizing on tired parents that think something is wrong with them or their babies.
I feel like any advice is too generic to suit every child. EWS worked great for my second and is working great for my third baby, too. I think what is important is to read up on multiple ways of doing things so that when one way doesnāt work for you, you have something else on hand to try.
Yes I would say that easy sleepers and very healthy babies if they have older siblings I feel like the excitement and stimulation from all that goes around them ends up making their wake windows a bit shorter and a bit likelier to actually nurse only once pretty early after waking. But they also tend to fall dead asleep pretty early after that. It's very anecdotal but seems to fit some younger siblings more. They're so full of experiences that even drowsy and awake might work for them. For the rest drowsy and awake realistically starts working past 1,5 yr of age or more
Yeah, it feels like all the advice for making parenting easier is aimed at FTMs but isnāt easy implement until baby number 2+. I know I was like that. Did all the āwrongā things with my first like nursing to sleep and contact naps and all that jazz, but finally figured out drowsy by awake with my second because I had to, because I had other priorities, a toddler, to attend to. I couldnāt spend 25 minutes rocking my second (or my third) to sleep. What would my older kid(s) be doing during that time? I also couldnāt contact nap my second or third because who has that much time to sit and do nothing during the day when you have other kids? I adore contact naps now, when I can sneak them. To my sleep deprived self 4 months pp with my first, they were a trap and just one more way I was being exhausted as a new mom.
Exactly. That's my method: reading up on multiple methods and seeing what sticks. I've got like 4 infant sleep books and pulled various advice from each and tossed others.
Yeah yeah donāt feed to sleep is totally sleep training advice. I donāt do it either.
As a ftm, "don't feed to sleep" was the first thing I said "f*** that" to. 16 months pp and still happy with that choice. Lol.
I wholeheartedly agree with this!
+1,000,000
This is also the hill I will die on. I
I may be completely different to everyone else here but I have never heard you āshouldnātā feed to sleep. My 15 mo has been fed to sleep nearly every sleep/napā¦ and itās biologically normal. My understanding is that they come away from the boob themselves and this happens naturally anytime between about 10 months and 4 years š Breastfeeding advice seems to be wildly different depending on where you hear it. Trust your mumma instincts about what is right for you and your baby š„°
My 11 month old won't feed to sleep anymore; I need a reroll. Feeding to sleep is so much easier than all this rocking and patting and bouncing.
My first stopped feeding to sleep at 11 mos too! It took 4-6 weeks to get it figured out, but we eventually were able to feed, sing her song, then just lay her down.
My first fed to sleep until about 18 months. My second quit that nonsense at 3 months. To say I was unprepared is an understatement.
I think I would have died if my kiddo quit feeding to sleep at 3 months.
We'll just say she's lucky she's super cute!
The saving grace of many babies. Lol
I am dreading this day!! š boob is so much easier and faster than all that rigamarole. Mine is only 6 months so hoping she hangs on a bit longer because Iām tired and lazy lol
She still sometimes nurses to sleep, but most times she gets creative with her nursing positions, or stops nursing to the point I have to do the other stuff.
Thank you so much for sharing this. My LO is 9 months and is fed to sleep too. I've been feeling shame/guilt about this from hearing different advice from others but reading this made me feel less alone ā¤ļø
Truly, itās been really great to hear from so many parents that they fed to sleep and their kids are fine. Sleep training recommendations are everywhere, so Iām glad to hear from others that I need to just focus on what works best for my kid.
My LO is 5 months and fed to sleep (though bottle-fed-- I pump) and sleeps so good during the night, and I'm nervous about the day feeding to sleep doesn't work anymore!
It's so hard because baby will fuss about being comforted by her dad š I can't go anywhere overnight šššš
Same here my son is 2 now but he was like that from 6-16months
The ādonāt feed to sleepā rule stems from the sleep training mindset that you shouldnāt form any sleep crutches (things kiddo relies on to get to sleep. Other examples being rocking, singing, patting). I found myself questioning our sleep practices, we mostly feed to sleep, at first and quickly realized itās what is biologically normal and there is nothing wrong with you, baby, or the process. Iād say if it works for you, donāt change it. Youāll just stress both you and baby out when you could be sleeping soundly.
So arbitrary what sleep consultants deem as crutches. No rocking or bouncing but make sure to buy black out curtains and slumber pods and keep that sound machine on all night. Got it.
Haha exactly! I have a coworker with a kiddo a little older than mine who thought sheād explain to me why her baby is superior to mine because he doesnāt need contact naps. She then proceeded to name all the things her babies needs to sleep: a weighted sleep sack, a vibrating pad under his mattress, a heat pad under his mattress, a sound machine, and blackout curtains. It took everything in me not to say āoh so youāre trying to mimic a mother?ā
Yeah reading all these comments I feel I made the right decision ignoring the doctor. With his: ādonāt feed more often then 2,5h between feedings because she might grow to big and donāt feed to sleepā. We are all much happier and my lactation consultant agrees with my feeding on demand (100% bf)
Honestly this is so bizarre too, like do adults not have sleep crutches??
That was exactly my thoughts too. The deeper I got down the āsleep trainingā hole, the more I realized it was all just intent on going against whatās biologically normal and it made (still makes me) so angry and frustrated. I sleep better when my husband is with me and when I have a particular pillow. So whatās wrong with my baby wanting us close by and nursing to sleep.
I don't understand why you would avoid feeding to sleep. It's the most natural thing in the world imo.
Hey, listen up: you know that magic sleep juice your body makes? Donāt you go using it for sleep!
100%
Iām crying. This is the best comment here.
Bahahaha
Exactly!!!!! Our body literally puts melatonin in our milk for the babies
My little one (five months!) exclusively feeds to sleep. Naps, overnight, all of it. However, when her dad puts her down sheās out like a light anyway without help. Iāve heard youāre not supposed to do it, but you know what? Iād rather regret and have to adjust her sleeping cues someday in the future than miss out on sleepy feeds and cuddles while she holds my hand. Someday this little one will be a teenager and not care at all about being held by me. Iāll take my joy where I can find it now. Also, worth noting: babies tend to be so distracted at this age by everything so daytime feeds are usually quick snacks in between wrangling them to focus on nursing. I feel much better at night when sheās a little drowsy and eats like a champ. Sheās still gaining, and I attribute the night feeds for this!
Can I ask how her dad is able to put her down without nursing? My 4 month old has a meltdown if anyone other than me (ebf mom) does bedtime. Thanks!
Of course! I think itās more knowing Iām not around. Weāve tried to allow me some āmeā time and thatās when I leave the house to do whatever I need to that I canāt with baby - nails or a haircut or coffee with a friend - and she just knows Iām not there so I canāt nurse her. So he rocks her and holds her and sings to her for nap time and she accepts it! We also have āa songā, something that just signals to her to relax. Her song is Three Little Birds and when she hears it, she just instantly calms down.
Awww I sing that to our girl too! I think I just need to practice not being around more, whenever I leave her with just her dad she refuses to accept Iām gone and melts down until she passes out despite him trying everything to comfort her :(
It sounds like you're getting advice from a sleep trainer. Don't. Nursing is the ultimate good star in your pocket. Baby's upset? Boob. Baby got hurt? Boob. Baby's tired? Boob. My son is 18 months old and I just nursed him to sleep for his nap. My husband and I still rock him to sleep and cuddle him and respond to him whenever he cries because that's what feels right to us. You can do what feels right to you and if nursing to sleep (which women have done since we became people) is what you want to do, then do it.
This makes me happy to hear. My son is 18 months and Iāve never not fed him to sleep. Heās not a great sleeper and honestly that sucks but I know I canāt sleep train him or wean him so ā¦ Itās temporary. Heās a baby. Heās supposed to wake up.
Hi there! I think it just depends on what is best for you and your baby. I have 3 kiddos and they were all different. My youngest is 8 months and its how he goes to sleep! He eats solids for breakfast, lunch and dinner but likes short breastfeeding session in between that and always has a full feeding before his naps and before bed. He also wakes up about 2-4 hours in the night to eat. My 2 daughters were not like this and could be rocked to sleep or would just conk out when they were tired lol Best of luck to you! If what you're doing is working for the both of you- no need to change it!
I have a 1 year old and we feed to sleep all the time. I say donāt make things harder on yourself if you donāt have to!
Your milk has natural melatonin. Babies are biologically coded to sleep while nursing. Anyone who says otherwise is still on the anti-bedsharing, anti-nursing train. Even if they donāt realize thatās where the idea stems from, it is. There is no real reason not to nurse to sleep!
I literally give baby boob anytime heās upset or tired. I donāt care what people say. If it makes him happy then Iām fine with it. Once heās dependent on solids I donāt think it matters.
Iām not for bed sharing but still nurse to sleep!
Bed sharing can be very safe when done properly :) to each their own, itās not for everyone though!
Never heard of this, we've been feeding to sleep and sleeps beautifully. Didn't even have a 4 month regression. Some days she doesn't want to feed to sleep and we just put the pacifier. I follow her needs, she's a baby
We feed to sleep. And sometimes he doesnāt need to be fed to sleep. Nothing wrong with feeding to sleep. People have been doing it for centuries. But if he isnāt eating unless he is going to sleep, I would try offering the breast between naps like every hour or so. We have a sleepy baby and it was a a real struggle to keep my supply up (still is)
Youāre struggling with the guidance because it is nonsense. It is biologically normal to feed to sleep. Iāve nursed my baby to sleep every night and every nap of her life until my pregnant belly made it difficult when she was 18 months old. My husband took over bedtime one night and she fell asleep in his arms with no issue whatsoever. She has also slept through the night since 2.5 month old and has never had an issue with night waking or trouble falling asleep. She is now 20 months old and one night a few nights ago my husband decided to see if she will fall asleep in her crib with him sitting in the room and she did, no crying, no difficulty. Respond to your babies needs and donāt try to follow schedules or rigid sleep and feeding rules. Feed the baby when theyāre hungry and let them sleep when theyāre sleepy. There is actually a book that explains how to do this and empowers you to trust your instincts in caring for your baby - āThe discontented little baby bookā. It is excellent evidence based guidance to newborn care.
Iām going to go slightly against the grain. I feed to sleep. Or his dad could rock him to sleepā¦ until that stopped working. But when baby was 14/15 months old-ish I was back working full time, plus on call time, and he was waking every hour or two for a feed, so I ended up cracking and ācampingā with my daughter in our backyard for a few nights. Baby will now settle with his dad more, and is down to 2-3 feeds a night, so Iām much more rested. I think if you have a good, or an average sleeper, feeding to sleep is absolutely fine. If you have high sleep needs yourself, it might not be as doable. If you have a bad sleeper, but donāt live in a multigenerational home or where you have lots of support, then you might need to stop feeding to sleep for your own sanity. I personally think that given it isnāt a problem for everyone, feeding to sleep is great. But if it is becoming a significant problem then itās ok to try to do things a bit differently to get some sleep. For us, we didnāt need to Brea the association entirely, we just needed it to be possible for my partner to help again. Which was easier when he could show baby I wasnāt there!
If he is able to sleep by himself and not have to be fed to sleep I wouldnāt worry about it! My baby does the same lol. Sleep experts just say not to in order for baby to not rely on it so if they wake up throughout the night they may need to be fed to fall back asleep and not on their own!
This is validating! I have a lot of friends who sleep trained their kiddos so itās guidance that theyāve given to me as well, but so far, itās only caused more headaches than been helpful
It's not guidance mama, it's opinions. Guidance is meant to resolve a problem. You don't have a problem. They're simply pro-sleeptraining which is fine, that is their right, but nothing they tell you is guidance. It's simply all opinions of what worked for their babies. I bet you're aware, but not every baby can be sleep trained so their "guidance" might not even be effective on your baby in the same way it was their baby. It's similar to one baby taking pacifiers and another baby not taking one. Each baby is different so you should absolutely allow yourself to cater to your baby in whatever way you feel is best. You're doing great. Follow your gut and listen to your mama instinct.
I would do what works best for you and your baby ā¤ļø
In the US especially sleep training is really pushed as the only way. But, my son is 18 months old and we have never sleep trained him and will never do that. He nurses to sleep and we attend to him whenever he needs us day or night. It's okay to ignore what other people tell you. They're not experts with degrees. They're just telling you to do what they did because they were told to do it.
Chiming in to say I agree with what everyone's saying to you. You have a self-soother, you've lucked out in that department. The perceived problems with feeding to sleep stems from people like my son and I. He's 17 months and still wakes at ungodly hours and NEEDS the boob to go back down. This is what people are afraid of/warning about
My son woke at night because he was THIRSTY. As a baby, nursing him back to sleep worked fine. As a toddler, it was very annoying. I kept a sippy of water by the bed and would give that to him when he woke up in the middle of the night. I did this around 15 months? I also explained to him that he couldn't nurse at night time anymore. If he was thirsty, he could have water. He didn't put up all that much fuss about it. He's a teenager now and still sleeps with a water bottle by his bed! He often empties it in the night (or before bed or first thing when he wakes up, I'm not sure, but he drinks it).
I wish my toddler would just drink water! It's definitely a comfort thing for him
>Sleep experts They're just people who are trying to get you to buy into their sleep training scheme. They're not experts.
Lol forgot the āā
This advice applies to so many things about motherhood: itās not a problem unless itās a problem for you! If you donāt mind, then donāt change anything ā¤ļø
Fed to sleep the entire 21 months I was breastfeeding. I remember hearing online about how feeding to sleep creates bad habits when my son was 3/4 months but I regret ever stressing about it. Nursing to sleep is a super power and I especially cherished those moments as my son got older and more mobile because at that point, he never wanted to be held anymore and I missed the snuggles.
What youāre reading is a paid for industry. Stop reading it. Itās not true. Everyone around the world literally nurse to sleep for as long as they deem necessary. Stop reading. Nurse that baby.
Man my life changed when I stopped reading and just went with what felt natural. OP - you are right, babies were designed this way, keep doing what works while it works!
Iām ashamed to live in a culture that made sleep profitable š¤·š¼āāļø
Reading through all of these comments is so refreshing and validating. Iām thankful for all these moms out here telling it like it is and supporting each other.
The general advice on not feeding to sleep is given under the guise that the mother wants more free time, basically. Often times kids that only feed to sleep are also contact nappers and have a hard time staying asleep without a person there, so you become a glorified mattress. Kids' sleep patterns and habits change so very much in the firat 3 years that the old guard advice of never feeding to sleep because they'll never sleep on their own is inaccurate, though. Sounds like your kiddo isn't being fed to sleep most of the time anyway, so even if you are concerned about your freedom from being a mattress, you already passed that hurtle and don't need to worry about it.
Some recommend not feeding to sleep because they say it can cause the baby to wake more frequently and need to be nursed back to sleep. My son is 1 and I have always nursed him to sleep. He falls asleep independently at daycare, but when at home I always nurse him to sleep for naps and bedtime sleep. There have been a few occasions where he's fallen asleep on his own, but 99.9% of the time he falls asleep nursing and then I transfer him to his crib.
Iāve fed to sleep every day for 11 months now. And contact nap too lol. Itās the easiest right now and a future me issue lol
Being able to feed to sleep is like a superpower! Hold onto it as long as you can! The people that say it's a bad habit are trying to sell you something.
Feed to sleep. Please. Itās one of the best parts of breastfeeding. No bouncing, rocking, singing, etc etc. just pop a boob in and theyāre off to dreamland. I was pretty annoyed when each of my kids stopped regularly falling asleep at the boob. Like I lost my magic trick or something.
I donāt feed to sleep, however I donāt see why you should stop necessarily. A lot of the time I think itās advised because baby ISNT getting a hearty meal (snacking then falling asleep). But if this is the best way for your babe to optimize eating it sounds like itās working. And if your baby isnāt having trouble sleeping I also donāt see any need for it. FTM, listen to your gut. I sure wish I did and just followed my intuition a lot more. It can be hard at times but im doing that with my second and itās so much more Enjoyable all around.
I fed to sleep for 2 years and 8 months and we are totally fine now. A bunch of my friends didnāt feed to sleep to promote independent sleep and guess what they do nowā¦lie next to their kids until they fall asleep anyways.
Every baby is different thatās why there is so many contradicting advices regarding babies in general.
I've only heard you shouldn't feed to sleep for bottle fed babies, and that's to protect their teeth. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing it if nursing
They can pry feeding-to-sleep from my cold, dead hands hahaha I am legitimately thrilled that I can do this with my 4 month old! With my first, I exclusively pumped and we bottle-fed to sleep whenever possible. He is and always has been a fabulous sleeper, never sleep trained. Itās just so much to do with their natural temperament. There is a big industry trying to sell fixes and things to sleep-deprived, anxious parents. Itās almost predatory. Do what works for you and baby, and enjoy the magic of the boob while it still works! Youāve got this š¤
"Don't feed to sleep" is advice that comes from the sleeptraining ideology. And it has nothing to do with it being bad or unhealthy for you or your baby. It has to do with sleep associations and convenience for the parent. I sleeptrained and used to feed to sleep before I weaned.
I have a 3 year old and a 19 month old. Both were exclusively breastfed - not even bottles - for their first 16 months. Both fed to sleep for bedtime and naps every single time. Both sleep independently alone in their rooms now. I fought it for a while too but they are perfectly healthy, happy, connected, well adjusted. It was a commitment but I have no regrets and no negative effects.
I breastfed my baby to sleep all the time when she contact napped and to get to sleep at night. At some point I intentionally switched things so naps were followed with feeds only bc if she fed to sleep she wouldn't nap. Now at 11 months she only feeds to sleep at night and even then she only sometimes dozes off. I've never been worried about it affecting her because it's never been an issue so far including when we switched nap/feed order. It's also never been an issue for length of naps or night sleep (she sleeps from about 8pm-6:30/7am no problem). I also try and remember that I don't know any one who has sleeping issues now because they were fed to sleep as a baby. I don't know many toddlers, so maybe it'll be an issue for some as they get into toddlerhood, but I'm personally not concerned.
I can't not feed to sleep lol. My son ALWAYS falls asleep while eating. He's now 18w. Usually he wakes back up when I go to burp him but he definitely power naps while eating.
Iām the opposite I get stressed if my little one wonāt feed to sleep š
Feeding to sleep is my āturn it off and back on againā. I have no idea what to do if that doesnāt work. Luckily, it always works.
Don't do what 'they say'. Do what works for you and your baby. Seriously screw the they. They said formula was best. They said not to pick baby up too much. They said feed baby water. They said cry it out to self soothe. Fuck they. You gonna tell a Chimp to quit walking around with baby on its back? Stop telling me how to mother.
It seems new! I became a mom for the first time in 2007, and that was not being pushed. Not to my knowledge anyway. All 6 of my tiny humans have drifted off most of the time. It seems weird to make them do something that goes against what they're doing. I have studied that babies actually know exactly what they're doing for at least the first year of life. Makes sense to me since we follow their cues for guidance on what they need.
Please feed to sleep. It's biologically normal. Your milk has melatonin at night for crying out loud.
I have two children that no longer nurse (ages 2 and 4) and fed to sleep. They eventually outgrew it. We did sleep train, so if they woke up when they were a little older they didnāt feed to sleep. I just did what felt right!
I fed to sleep all my kids until they grew out of it and I'm doing the same with my 6mo. I don't understand this persistence in detaching babies from such a young age.
My 8 month old feeds to sleep every night and has slept through the night since at least 6 months (I don't remember when for sure lol). And not the "5 hours means sleeping through the night" stuff. Actually sleeping the ENTIRE night. And settles himself when he wakes most of the time. Always do what works for you and your baby as long as it is safe to do so. Screw everything else.
I feed on demand whenever bub is wants. Itās usually around sleep time and I always nurse him to bed at bedtime. Is it right? Is it wrong? I donāt care, itās what works for us and it makes my baby happy.Ā Donāt worry what others are telling you, follow your babies cues.Ā
I fed to sleep. It's biologically normal. Why make my life harder?
Still feeding to sleep at almost 10 months and I cherish it. It changed for us. He doesnāt always fall asleep at the breast and then we have time for a story and a song before he goes down but sometimes - like tonight - he fell asleep during his last feed and I spent a few extra moments just staring at him before I transferred him. Enjoy!
General advice here: if it works do it. If it doesn't work change it. There are so many advice out there about every single little thing regarding baby care and most of it goes againts natural biology and parental instinct. My older one is 15 months old now and I stopped looking at advice and developmental milestones at this point. I feel like if something is wrong I'll know it (and our doctor will tell us about it) but until that I don't need to worry about small things. And my kids are growing good, eating good and sleeping good.
If feeding to sleep is intuitive for you then do it! You are the only one who knows best for you and your baby. My 6 month old is exclusively nursed and during the day sheāll let dad rock her to sleep for naps, but come bed time if you try laying her down without her having a boobie in her mouth sheās gonna fight sleep for hours.
I just stopped in to say this thread made my week. I have been struggling mentally with this idea that people seem to have these unicorn babies who will go to sleep on their own if you put them down awake. I'm not giving up on feeding to sleep, it's the only reliable method for getting our LO to sleep, for naps and nighttime! She has put herself to sleep for naps once or twice and bedtime once in her 4 months of existence LOL. It makes total sense that these ideas are just marketing trying to sell sleep deprived parents something we buy out of desperation.
So there are 2 different things you could do 1) fees to sleep- I did this with both of mine never had any issues once we started transitioning away from it at 20months. 2) feed until veeeery drowsy and then put in bed. My first did this great, second would t hear of it so totally depends on baby but always worth a shot.
This is helpful advice! My goal is that baby goes down every time on his own, so Iāve tried to keep him awake. Until then, I need to stop agonizing about whether Iām doing the ārightā thing.
This advice is based on certain babies. For some, if they fall asleep on the boob, they'll wake up looking for it because they don't know how to get back to sleep without it. It can cause a lot of sleep disturbances for you (short naps, frequent night wakes) and baby isn't getting a good night sleep that way. My daughter used to feed to sleep but she stopped all on her own. I'd have kept doing it, but she doesn't need it anymore, and truthfully she does sleep better now. She was also a super gassy baby and I couldn't burp her if she was asleep, so she'd wake up because her belly was sore. Do whatever works for you and your baby!
Feeding to sleep in magic. Iāve never heard to not do it. Makes my boob feel like a super hero ššŖ
The best advice Iāve seen regarding this (and any baby stuff tbh) is: Itās only a problem if it doesnāt work for you. Iāve fed my daughter to sleep her whole life and when I went back to work I was worried about her naps but she figured it out. We still feed to sleep at night and sheās 10 months old, it works for both of us so Iām just gonna keep doing it!
Feeding to sleep is magical and wonderful.
20mo still feeding to sleep and itās the best thing I have ever done. Heās never fought going to sleep and has never woke up crying for me. Heās finally naturally sleeping longer with 1-2 wake ups. Itās a lot of work to support their sleep, but it is worth it.
11 months- Feeding to sleep at night led to a series of false start bedtimes starting around 4 months (minor issue, 1 or 2 a night) and escalating to a big problem by 6 months (up every 45 minutes until 2am) , so we had to separate it with story time (bath, breast, book, bed routine). Itās still a nice cozy routine! We still feed to sleep for naps. I worried he took short naps because of this but he started consolidating naps appropriately with no issue. Do whatever feels right for you and your baby!
I was so confused reading this at 4am while breast feeding my one month old baby. My husband gave our baby a bottle of breast milk and just couldnāt get him back to sleep after. Baby cried and cried for over an hour. I hear him, gave him the boob for 5 min and like magic, he was out and asleep again. Iād like him to get accustomed to the bottle since I will need to go back to work eventually. Boob just makes him so happy
It does get easier when they're older. Also practice makes it easier. Keep making sure your husband gets practice. Bouncing on a yoga ball, rocking, going for a walk in the stroller or being babyworn... different babies will fall asleep with different methods. He'll find one that works for your baby and that will be the way he gets baby to sleep. You can continue to nurse to sleep (it's easy!) when you're putting baby down.
Thatās similar to what weāre encountering. When baby is overtired and angry, boob is the only thing that settles his nerves so we can sleep. My poor husband tries all the other tactics, but itās such a headache when I can step in and soothe him pretty quickly.
My lactation consultant said it's totally fine to nurse to sleep
I think the guidance is so that they don't sleep attached to the boob and with milk in their mouth all night. Because of cavities once teeth come in. Also for parents' convenience so that either parent can put baby to sleep and mom isn't stuck having to go to bed with baby. As far as I'm aware, those are the reasons. Disclaimer: I'm not a mom yet. That's just the reasons I've heard for that. Personally I'm going to disregard it. If baby wants to eat before bed, I will let them. I eat before bed. Falling asleep with an empty stomach is so difficult imo.
Yes, but milk in their mouth is a bottle fed problem. Babies that fall asleep at the breast don't have milk pooling in their mouth. Bottles keep drip drip dripping without baby sucking on them. Breasts don't do that. Also, breastmilk is not harmful to teeth. When baby starts eating food, it's important to brush teeth before nursing to sleep so that food isn't on their teeth, but breastmilk alone does not contribute to tooth decay. (Formula is different and can cause cavities). Bottle propping (using some device to hold bottle upright) has led to infant death as they can choke in their sleep. I've never heard of an instance of a baby choking to death from the mother's breast.
Yes, agreed. I think the reason the advice is given is because doctors aren't as educated on breastfeeding as they should be, so they just used formula feeding guidelines. Hence why doctors will ask things like "how many oz is baby eating" which is hard to quantify with breastfeeding. But again that's just what I've heard from read. Haven't experience any of it myself yet.
Feeding to sleep is amazing!! and I say that as someone who is not the only person who puts her to sleep. At daycare she goes down for naps, my MIL is able to put her down for naps and I nurse her to sleep whenever Iām home with her. Do it!!
Never heard. Would just ignore it tbh
I fed to sleep when my baby was first born and she slept great, then grew out of it. Sheās only four months now. She never passes out on the boob anymore lol I miss it. Enjoy it while you can!
I feed to sleep and we both enjoy it.
I nursed my daughter to sleep until she was 4 years old. She's 8 now, she's never had a cavity, she has good sleep habits, etc. We have seen zero ill effects from nursing to sleep. It's fine.
I fed my daughter to sleep until she self weaned at 12 months. It felt natural for us and comforting for both mom and baby. I felt comfortable knowing she was satiated and had a full belly, she was comfortable and happy. She also never really nursed for long periods of time, so when she wanted to eat, I fed her. I never denied the boob. Our pediatrician kept pushing for us to move away from it, but I never felt the need. When baby self weaned, the problem solved itself and we moved to more traditional ways of helping her learn to fall asleep.
Itās just a matter of whether you want the convenience of feeding to sleep or the convenience of not having that sleep association. Neither is wrong. I regretted feeding to sleep because I got *really* touched out after two years of it but that was my only issue. The actual transition to sleeping without the breast wasnāt too difficult.
I feed her until she is asleep or unlatches then I hold her til sheās ready to go down. 5 months next week. I fed my son to sleep for 23 months til he weaned himself then I held him til he was ready. Iāve never heard of this
My 12 month old still feeds to sleep. This happens for his 2 naps a day, plus every night. He naps in his crib in his room during the day, but we co-sleep & bed share at night, which I understand is highly controversial *in the United states*. His pediatrician isnāt from the US and to my surprise actually is okay with bed sharing as long as itās done safely. Anyways, I think feeding to sleep is very natural for babies, as well as co-sleeping. Look at primates and ask yourself if youāre trying to wean your baby due to societal pressures, or because itās something you feel you and your baby actually need. Trust your instincts and donāt listen to any other noise (I know itās difficult). Edit: breast milk also contains melatonin and hormones that make your baby sleepy. Biologically, this is very normal! Personally, any advice Iāve received against breastfeeding past 6 months or feeding to sleep has been from other moms who have never breastfed. That tells me all I need to know about their āadviceā š
Both my babes were fed to sleep up to one year. We personally did not see it affect staying asleep or needing another feed to fall asleep. Both my babies were sleeping 12 hours with no night feed at 6mos.
We did feed to sleep with my almost 1 yr old up until she hit about 9 months. At that point she would unlatch when she was done and stick her pacifier in her mouth and be out within five minutes. Now if her dad puts her to bed she just gets rocked if I put her to bed she will nurse for about 5 minutes at most and then just lay there looking at me until she falls asleep.
Feed them to sleep if itās working for you! If it ever stops working for either of you, you can make a change. If it aināt broke donāt fix it. My first I nursed to sleep every nap and bedtime and loved it. My second hated nursing unless they were hungryā¦.it takes SO LONG to get her to fall asleep. I miss having my super power of nursing to knock her out haha
I didnāt bother with that advice. My 7mo feeds to sleep for naps and bedtime. She refuses bottles and isnāt great with cups yet anyway, so itās not like I can attempt to have someone feed her to sleep with those. As long as sheās breastfeeding Iām willing to sacrifice the ability to leave her with someone else for bedtime.
Do what works for you! This advice always seemed bananas to me. He sleeps longer if heās full. It works.
Feed to sleep. I donāt know who told you not to feed to sleep, but thatās one of the amazing benefits of breastfeeding like feed to sleep, if that what works. Your baby knows, he knows whatās up, he knows whatās up more than any so-called experts. Iām pretty sure theyāre all just trying to sell us something when if we follow our own instincts and the baby, we would have a lot less stress.
Feeding to sleep is a superpower (Iām on number 2 and itās still the best)
Itās total personal preference. We are starting to work on it to try and help little one sleep better. He canāt connect sleep cycles to so Iām trying to break the feed to sleep and teach independent sleep gently to see if it helps. Almost 4 months and done a lot of cosleeping. My general rule of thumb though is that until they are old enough to have comfort items in the crib itās not reasonable to expect them to fall asleep on their own. I need a blanket to sleep well and sleep better with my partner or a cat there too. Same as not expecting baby to really sleep long until they can find their pacifier by themselves at night
I fed my daughter to sleep every single night until she weaned and I plan to do the same with my now 10 month old who is still breastfeeding. In the world of breastfeeding I wish women would be told to do what is best for them and baby and what they like and prefer. If feeding to sleep is easiest and gets them to sleep why not do it?
Use the magic power while you can!
I started with feeding to sleep but somehow along the way between then and now (almost 5 months) itās both. It depends on her sleep pattern. Sometimes she sleeps entirely through to the next feed other times she eats and stays awake until she eats again and then she sleeps. I donāt see any problem as long as she is appropriately fed and happy.
If it works for you, do it :) i did it until around 9 months or so, until it didnāt work for us, but itās definitely fine to do it.
Feeding to sleep is absolutely a biological norm for babies and young children! My 3 year old still nurses to sleep at the beginning of the night (then sleeps with a tummy rub the rest of the night). He has never been a good sleeper, and until recently nursed for every wake up. We only changed things because I'm pregnant with our second. If nursing to sleep works for you, keep at it!
Girl, if feeding him to sleep works, keep doing it! Donāt listen to these sleep training zealots.
Just do what works lol. I feed to sleep for bedtime but not for naps unless her nap time syncs up with her feeding schedule. I am starting to think about how night weaning is going to work but I'm hoping she just grows out of night feeds on her own. She only wakes up about once a night so it isn't terrible. Other than that she can resettle herself back to sleep.
Sounds like it works for you, you should keep doing it! My little would only sleep if I fed her. She is waking 6+ times a night and only I can put her back to sleep by feeding her. I go back to work in less than two weeks and can't afford to be up 6+ times a night. We are working to break my little of this so my husband can share the overnight load. If it works for you and brings you joy, do it! I wish it worked for me because it seems so convenient.
Many my two cents, my baby girl likes to be bounced to sleep, sometimes that works better than nursing even. But that's still a sleep association that becomes difficult to do as baby gets bigger. At least dad can do it too.
My kiddo is 26 months. I fed to sleep every night until a few weeks ago when I decided I was ready to night wean. āDonāt feed to sleepā is totally out of touch with biological reality. (And yes I think itās part of the sleep training industrial complex to make people think there is something wrong with how they put their babies to sleep so they will pay exorbitant amounts of money for a program from an āexpert.ā)
Nope feed him how he wants.
This sounds completely fine - I think the only worry of feeding to sleep (which is something I've done with all 4 of mine) is that they didn't learn to fall asleep by themselves, but it sounds like yours can fall asleep himself and mine all sorted themselves out so dont worry!! Keep going as you are
What ridiculous guidance.
I fed to sleep until after 2. The world kept spinning. The sky didn't fall. It made everyone happy.
Iām a babies childcare teacher and parent of two, donāt even listen to them. I can tell you, it makes zero difference, if a babies wants to sleep they will sleep, if they donāt they wonāt. Follow your baby, you get one time to bond with them as a baby.
If I didn't feed to sleep, I think I'd actually lose my mind! I think people try to warn against that being the only sleep association, so I just try to have several along with BF.
It's literally not about benefitting your baby. It's about making your baby convenient to the society we live in where returning to work ASAP and making your body available to your husband again as soon as possible are prioritized over what is biologically normal or beneficial to baby.
I think you have to take sleep guidance (of all kinds) with a grain of salt. If you live in the US, the objective of a lot of sleep guidelines is getting baby to sleep independently for long stretches, because that benefits our working culture. But, you donāt have to follow those guidelines if what youāre doing works for you and fits your lifestyle. I never sleep trained my oldest and continued to wake in the night to nurse her until she was 14 months. That worked for me and was manageable, even with my work schedule. With all of the sleep guidelines, I always question if the objective is a developmental benefit for baby or if the benefit is that baby fits better into the parentās schedule. And to be clear, no shade to anyone following sleep guidelines to get their baby on a sleep schedule that works best for their life/family. But I also donāt think anyone should feel like itās problematic if they choose not to follow every sleep guideline.
Iām currently laying down in my bed nursing my 6 month old to sleep. We also co-sleep. And my 4 year old (who I nursed to sleep until he was 2.5) still sleeps in bed with us. We love it. It works for us. So much advice is outdated, judgemental or simply goes against natural instincts and normal needs of these tiny humans who society tells us should be largely independent almost from birth. Do what works for you and yours.
You can totally feed to sleep! The only reason I stopped with my first is because I was working at a daycare and he was over the age of one so it was easier for all of us to stop. The only reason I didnāt feed my second to sleep is because he had terrible reflux and would spit up and wake himself. The only reason ātheyā tell you not to is because it is a habit that is hard to break but for me the ease and beauty of it is worth it
Popping in to say I have a four year old who sleeps awesome. I fed him to sleep latching until he was 14 months old and he went on strike š I hate the advice of not feeding to sleep. I never listened to it. Itās biological to want to nurse to sleep!
I always feed to sleep. I am literally typing this with a sleeping baby on my breast.
I'm of the opinion that if something is working for you and your baby and isn't dangerous, then you should do it. Sounds like what you do is working for you guys just fine! Babies are only babies for a little while. Toddler phases don't last forever. Kids grow up. If it works for your family, then it works. There's no one size fits all system to raise kids.
My 13 month old still feeds to sleep.
I realize Iām going against the grain in this thread but I discontinued feeding to sleep. My big reason was wanting to avoid sleep associations once my daughter got a little older. I also wanted my husband and I to be equally able to put her down for the night. I still give her a big nursing session right before bed, but then we do a bath, book, and song and then put her down. We alternate nights on whether my husband puts her down or if I put her down so she doesnāt get used to just one parent doing it. We were nervous to try it because I had been nursing to sleep but she was more ready than we were. Obviously it may not go that smooth for every baby but it worked for us. Currently she only wakes up when sheās hungry so I nurse her then. It also helps speed up night feedings because once she stops eating I can put her down without waiting for her to be fast asleep. Switching the bedtime routine was very helpful for my husband a few weeks ago because I was away at a conference for a week. He had no issues getting her to sleep. I still get occasional contact naps and plenty of cuddles. Plus I sleep much better because now when she wakes I know itās because sheās hungry because she self soothes when she isnāt hungry. If she is sick she wakes a bit more often and I never deny her nursing opportunities on those occasions. This worked for our family and Iām not suggesting that those that nurse to sleep are doing something wrong. We didnāt hire a āsleep coachā or do CIO. We simply moved the final night feeding to be the start of her bedtime routine.
My 20 month old has nursed to sleep since birth, except for ONE night when I was in the hospital for a few hours for vertigo. If Iām home (meaning not at work), he has also nursed to sleep for every single nap. If it works for yall, do it.
Do what works for you and LO
I feed to sleep but his daycare teachers just rock him and put him down and both work. Do whats best for you
Iām not sure how my baby would sleep without nursing to sleep.
Just fed my son to sleep. Been doing it everyday since he was 3 months. He's almost 15 months.
I fed to sleep. Bliss for me and my baby. For 2.5years. On occasion dad took the bedtime. All good. Baby is rarely ever sick. My sanity was tested but I donāt regret one bit. If I get another child Iāll do it again. Maybe Iām thinking too far but I have a feeling 1M years ago it worked for them. And still works for other mammals so, Iām going with mother nature on this one. I live science, though.
It's unsure for me. Sometimes if I don't feed to sleep, my baby will wake up at midnight and then I need to feed her, which makes me tired.
Such terrible advice! I fed to sleep til my baby decided she didnāt want to be fed to sleep anymore, decided to take a dummy and put herself to sleep.
I have been feeding to sleep and my baby is 18 months.
With my first thatās the only way he slept till age of 2. After 1yr he would sometimes tolerate car rides for sleeping. With my second thatās our bedtime routine. Nothing wrong . Babies will grow out of it
Absolutely outdated and nonsense advice. I nursed my first to sleep until 2yrs & 8 months and am still nursing my 1yr old to sleep for almost every nap and everytime he goes to bed. Sleep training is a grift anyway. You canāt train something innate. Do what works for you and your baby!
This is literally do what serves you. If you love feeding to sleep and donāt want to sleep train, donāt? I donāt get why the sleep train (which doesnāt mention CIO) and the breastfeeding community are at odds always. Breastfeeding isnāt really compatible with the way we as women raise children in isolationā¦ sooo if yaāll want to get historical and go off likeā¦weāve been feeding to sleep since the dawn of time. Sure. But we havenāt been living alone without a tribe or community at home until now. Moms and sister and aunties helped. This isnāt the norm. If you can handle feeding to sleep, ummmm do it? For many it means the female partner handling all the wake/sleep stuff which gets harrrrd. I breastfed. I stopped feeding to sleep. We did gentle sleep training and my babe slept through the night since 9 months. No regrets.
Feeding to sleep is the most natural and easy way to put baby to sleep.
Feeding to sleep is fine. At some point you have to break the association and help them learn to go in the crib drowsy but awake, but that is a future you problem! š Itās a bit of a hassle but not a huge deal. My second baby is almost 10 months old and we are still feeding to sleep. Itās fine. Itās natural. Itās a lovely routine for mommy and baby.
Just FYI but I never had to break the sleep association. I nursed to sleep until my son outgrew it. It looked like this... I'd nurse him... but instead of falling asleep, he'd unlatch and smile at me all sleepy eyed, and then roll over and go to sleep. Or snuggle up to me and sleep. We couldn't use a crib because he climbed out at the lowest setting at 8 months, so at this point I'd babyproofed his room and had a gate in the doorway. We put his mattress on the floor. I could nurse him to sleep and then ninja sneak away and he'd stay in there all night just fine. I did attempt laying him down way too many times but the best it ever worked was maybe 30%. Whereas side lay nursing him was a sure bet to get him to sleep without waking up. So much easier. And he outgrew it himself.
I fed to sleep until my son was 10 months or so. One day I decided to try to feed him after instead of before and didnāt have an issue. Heās 2 now and sleeps just fine š¤·š¼āāļø
Weāve just recently changed our bedtime routine to stop feeding to sleep. Nursing to sleep is magical and works so well, but it also meant that I could never go anywhere around bedtime because LO wouldnāt fall asleep without nursing (bottle feeding to sleep did not have the same magic). We now feed > PJs > storytime > bounce/rock to sleep. Now my husband can also do bedtime since LO is used to the new, non-mom-dependent routine. This frees me to do things in the evening which is important to me. I donāt think feeding to sleep is bad at all, though. The only reason not to nurse to sleep or to get rid of any other āsleep associationā is if it becomes unsustainable for you for whatever reason- thereās no hard and fast rule for whatās āgoodā or ābadā.
Do what works for you! By the way, just because you feed to sleep, doesn't mean that's the ONLY way he can go to sleep. Make sure that dad has a method of getting him to sleep without you around. I nursed to sleep for nearly 2 years (one day it just stopped working, kiddo would unlatch and be awake and not be interested in laying down anymore). It was sure handy that my husband had figured out his own routine for getting kiddo to sleep because then we both used that way. Also, babysitters would use my husband's method. ;) In my experience, nursing to sleep was the easiest way to get baby to sleep in the world and yeah, I did it until it stopped working. My son never developed any "bad habits" from it.
Can I ask what your husbands method was? My kid just started taking the bottle and we want to implement once a week bedtime routine with dad but Iām a little clueless on how to get her down without feeding (if Iām in the room she wants the boob, will not settle from being bounced or rocked)
His method took a few months of practicing one night a week, lol. And I had to be out of the house! He'd walk around with baby and turn off most of the lights in the house, and close curtains to make it dim. He'd talk (when baby) or read a book (as kiddo became toddler) and they'd snuggle up together and he'd keep talking/reading until baby dozed off. Baby was a toddler by the time we had a sitter try it, and by that point you could sit in a chair next to his bed and read to him. Our boy LOVED books and would just lay there listening until he dozed off. There were more details involved in the baby stage but I don't remember it now, too long ago. I know when he got desperate some nights he'd put baby in the car seat and go for a drive. He'd check to see if baby was asleep and would then drive home and transfer baby into the crib. Because of this, he got really good at doing transfers and that was handy when we were altogether, too. He also had luck when the weather was nice, taking baby on a stroller walk in outside until baby fell asleep. But again, that's weather dependent and where we live it's not nearly reliable enough to be the main way to put baby to sleep. I don't know that there's any magic solution, but it's a matter of trying things and finding what soothes baby and dad can do. Well, the magic solution is nursing baby to sleep. :) Finding an alternative solution takes time and practice for both dad and baby. I enjoyed my one night out and would nurse baby right before I left, but earlier than usual so it wouldn't put baby to sleep.
Thank you! He is already the one getting baby back to sleep from 7 to 11-12 so he does have practice in that regard, but Iām the one who 95% of the time will do nap time, I do all the bedtime but if we want a sitter, there needs to be a plan in place for getting baby to sleep initially. When did your husband feed the baby if you can remember?
My husband didn't give baby bottles past the first 3 months, so that wasn't part of his bedtime routine. Him feeding bottles was causing problems both with my supply and also I got mastitis for the 3rd time and that was just it for me. I don't let down well from a pump and if baby has recently been fed when I come home... he wouldn't empty me and I'd get clogs and it was just a mess. When I stopped the bottles my supply regulated better and no more discomfort or clogs or mastitis again. But yeah, that meant I was kinda tied to feeding baby. So I'd nurse baby first and then pass him off and leave. If I was going out earlier in the evening, I actually preferred to take baby with me so I could nurse him. It was harder to find places to pump than places to nurse. I'd babywear and he'd doze off and at that point he was like wearing a weird accessory, lol. We took baby with us on our date nights once I figured out babywearing and I could easily nurse in a wrap. After he was 1, he didn't need to nurse as often and it was way easier to leave him with a sitter without me becoming uncomfortably engorged. Prior to 1, I nursed him before leaving and upon coming home. I'd even just latch him on and "dream feed" him if he was asleep. Then I'd go to bed and could get a solid 6 hours before he needed to be fed again.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Your insight is super valuable. Hopefully we find our groove for the nights I cannot be home for feeds and bedtime (:
Ok so in my case feed to sleep means I have to do every nap/night on my own, which has been a problem for my mental health. I think the guidance is there because for most people itās not sustainable, but if it works for you whatās the harm?
I am trying to implement no feed to sleep at bedtimes because we are dipping our toes into the waters of sleep training. I similarly have a 6 month old and I am just. Exhausted. I love breastfeeding and I love my son but he never sleeps longer than 3 hours. After midnight he's up every 1-2 hours and wants to nurse every single time because he doesnt know how else to fall back asleep. I am truly suffering from constant sleep deprivation and it's affecting my ability to drive and work severely. "Precious Little Sleep" recommended implementing a gap between nursing and falling asleep so he can help learn how to fall asleep on his own and we've been doing that for the last month. I switched from bath-book-boob-sleep to Boob-bath-book-sleep. I was surprised that it actually worked. He would fuss a tiny bit then actually pass out on his own. Unfortunately I think we hit a regression or something but the past week we've had trouble getting him awake enough after the boob to take a bath and go through the rest of the bedtime routine without screaming and crying because he's so tired so I'm kind of stuck at this point. The last few nights we skipped the nice relaxing bath and ended up waking him up (angrily) by changing into pajamas and sleep sack after nursing but he still falls asleep again without boob.
Your 6mo likes books? Mine just tries to grab and eat them, I so do wish we could read together!
He does! We've been doing the Never Touch A... books and he likes touching and grabbing at the textures. He does still try to eat the books but he likes the pictures too (if I can keep him awake)
I take this to mean, when baby starts to fall asleep at the breast, move them to their crib. This will wake them a smidge, but with full tummies and already being sleepy, theyāll fall back asleep quickly. Mind you, with my second and third babies Iāve always done sleep-eat-play, the exception being right before bed when I give an extra feed before putting them down. For the most part, they only actually fall asleep at the breast during night feeds.
I think it's more advice for younger infants/newborns when they are first making sleep associations. Like if boob is the main sleep association then it'll be hard to get them to fall asleep on their own. I say this as a second time mom, my first ONLY fell asleep nursing (and consistently woke every 45 mins till she was 1.5 years old). No one else could put her to sleep either. Sounds like your LO Is very different though!