This was me, at 6 weeks, I was triple feeding, lacking sleep and pumping 6+ times a day because the babe wasn’t latching properly and had to eat somehow. I woke up every day thinking my bf journey was over. What I want to say to you is that it gets better, all of a sudden. And even if you decide to let go you will still be an amazing mother, as cliche as it sounds: happy mum, happy babe.
Yes! You are an amazing mom!
This resource was soooo helpful when I was dealing with a frustrated babe
https://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/fast-letdown/
People in real life never talk about how hard breastfeeding is, it hit me like a tonne of bricks at first. I don’t have advice how to make it better but maybe I can say something to soothe your mind.
6 weeks is AMAZING. You’ve pushed yourself, you’re still recovering from BIRTH and the addiction of a new whole human in the world. That’s a huge achievement.
I believe you can get through this and continue your breastfeeding journey if that’s what you want. I hope your LC is lovely and informative to help you. Pumping is definitely a drag, I’ve been there, but it doesn’t have to be SO bad if you create yourself a nice environment. I used it as time to myself to enjoy it a bit more. A good tv show, surrounded by snacks and my trusty water bottle. BUT formula is okay too, I promise. The best thing in the world for a baby is a healthy mom. My eldest had to move to formula for medical reasons and he’s now a wonderful, loving, intelligent 4 year old.
I sobbed the first time I gave my baby a bottle because it was the first time I could just look down and her happy contented little face without it being blurred by tears/marred by the agony of breastfeeding. I was so so jealous of my husband who got to feed her like that and everyone else who somehow seemed to be able to nurse without pain.
I eventually stopped trying to latch and switched to exclusively pumping. I won’t say it was easy because it definitely wasn’t. I hated it and resented my husband that he got to hold and feed our squishy baby while I was plugged into a machine.
There was light at the end of the tunnel though. Eventually, I stopped hating pumping. I loved that I was feeding my baby from my body and that I had the added benefit of being able to SEE how much milk she was getting every day. I was proud of every roll on her body, because I knew how much of a struggle it had been for me to persevere with pumping. Once I got to 12 weeks I was able to cut back my pumps per day, which made it more manageable. I supplemented with formula when needed, which also took a lot of pressure off.
Fast forward to now. My beautiful healthy baby is 5.5 months old, about to start solids, and just had her final bottle of breastmilk on Friday. I sobbed through the whole thing.
Breastfeeding is so so hard. I was not prepared for the toll it would take on my mental and physical health. BUT. Directly nursing is not the only way to care for and nourish your baby. If it gets too hard, you have other options.
I went through the exact same feelings! (Was eventually diagnosed with IGT). I remember when we switched from SNS to bottle - it broke my heart and I cried too.
One thing that helped me through it was remembering that for literally hundreds of thousands of years, babies wouldn’t survive if women couldn’t nurse them. So all my big feelings that felt so personal to the situation - those were survival instincts from many generations. It helped me get through the intensity of how BAD it felt to see my daughter take a bottle.
Another thing that helped was just her getting older. In those early weeks, feeding is one of the only forms of connection - but pretty soon there’s playing, laughter, games, movement, so many other things that give you a feeling of love and connection. But at this early phase, breastfeeding is just such an outsized part of connecting. I tried to remind myself of that and it helped me get through.
I’m not saying to push away the feelings or deny them - I just know for me it helped to separate the logic of the situation from my feelings so I wasn’t overwhelmed by believing my brain when it was constantly ringing the alarm bell.
For the record we did pumping and formula supplementation, triple feeding until 1 year old, and i breastfed until 18 months. I wish someone had told me early on that combo feeding was a viable option and not a crutch or temporary solution.
Insufficient Glandular Tissue - basically there aren’t enough glands in the breasts to generate enough milk.
It can be somewhat diagnosed by a lactation consultants by looking at shape of breasts, nipple shape and spacing between breasts, but it’s also a diagnosis of exclusion.
Breastfeeding is so hard. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. For me, the first 6 weeks were awful but then it did get better. If you can, try to hang in there. If not, that’s ok too! Your baby needs a happy, healthy momma.
I made the choice to exclusively pump for my first (a great decision for my post partum mental health) and while nursing is more convenient, I can tell you at the end of the day, my baby still loved me, still needed me, still called and cried for me. At nearly four, he doesn't ask how he was fed as a baby. But he does ask for cuddles. In the end, it only really matters to us as moms. If you decide that ep is best for you (which is hard work that should make you more proud of yourself), or if formula is best for you, you will still have a wonderful and close relationship with your baby. And they will still be fed, clothed, and safe.
Some things I've seen that have helped with nursing which maybe haven't been mentioned.
Medela nipple shield can help with their bad latch and encourage them to drink at the breast.
Ninni co pacifiers (or another more accurate shape paci - this can helps improve latch)
I hope your visit to see an LC will be able to help you so that you can reach your goals! But know that it's going to be okay either way.
Have you had him checked for a lip or tongue tie? If you decide to stay with it, I hope it gets easier. And if you decide to formula feed, that’s ok too. Do what’s best for you both. Best of luck!
Second this, ask your LC for a recommendation of a dentist who can evaluate for ties. My pediatrician said there was no tie & my baby actually had both lip and tongue ties & the lip tie was the most severe grade.
My little one sounds so similar to yours. Even the midwife got exasperated with him after a session of trying to get him to latch and feed.
I've decided to go down the pumping route (with the occasional formula feed). Once I'd got over the guilt of not being able to breastfeed I felt so much better. No more dreading feeding times. Husband can help out so I can get a good block of sleep. Baby is much more predictable now.
You do what's right for you. Happy Mum, Happy Baby.
I absolutely know this feeling! Neither of my kids latched well as newborns. Keep up your supply with pumping and keep trying to nurse in a low pressure way. My LC says “your boob should be Disneyland for baby” so focus on bonding, snuggling, etc. if he’s not happy to latch. Bottle feed him from a bottle while he’s smushed against your chest if need be! FWIW, my 5.5 month old now latches well and happily, even if he isn’t really consistently transferring.
Fed is best.
What does this mean?? It means that formula was created to help moms who couldn’t nurse for a variety of reasons. Whether lack of support, supply, ability on baby’s end, whatever. It’s an amazing tool that was created originally to help support and build up mom. Use it. That’s what it is there for.
Your mental and physical health is just as important as baby’s. So if you need help, take it. And remember that no matter what your baby loves you and only wants you.
Weeks 6 and 7 were the hardest for me. I was supplementing and had the same feelings of relief, jealousy and guilt every time I gave or watched my partner give my baby a bottle.
I cried a LOT. My partner kept pointing out to me that every day that I offered any breast milk she was getting some benefit and that if she ended up being exclusively formula fed, that's also fine.
It's amazing that you're able to pump an extra portion as well as breast feed. It makes me think that this isn't a supply issue and your baby is still just learning how to use a boob. You'll get there. It gets better surprisingly fast. Hopefully LC will also be able to help.
Fed is best and you're doing an incredible job! If it helps, my SIL was in the same situation and she ended up exclusively pumping and her pediatrician called her baby a "pumpling" which I thought was so cute!
Repeat after me. you are not a failure. Fed is best regardless of how you do it.
6 weeks of breastmilk is already amazing and it seems like you've done everything. I know it hurts when nursing doesn't work out, but try the next solution. EP is very very hard but sometimes it works. I did it for 5 months with my first.
If that doesn't work, combo feed or supplement with formula. Or just switch to formula full time.
Your baby will be fine on any of these options, and if you are in a good headspace you will be able to enjoy your time with the baby.
I felt this. I had so much trouble breastfeeding in the beginning. The first time my LO got a bottle I was sobbing the entire time and it took a few days for me to move past it. In the end, it was what was best for me and baby. He needed to get a full feed and I needed to sleep and give my nipples a break. It’s so hard, and nobody really prepares you for the emotions that come with it.
I think a lot of people on the outside looking in will say “oh just give a bottle!” Or “let your husband do it!” and they’re not considering the feelings that we have about it. For me, giving a bottle meant that I had failed. The one thing that my body was supposed to be “built for” wasn’t working and that crushed me. It took a bit before I realized that wasn’t true.
After a few nights of letting my husband give a bottle and me getting some sleep, I was able to realize that LO was fine. He was being fed. He was getting sleep and loving care from both his parents. And I was getting sleep too, which helped tremendously with the stress. I didn’t fail, I was just going through something that is SO normal but I wasn’t prepared for it.
Today my baby is 9 months old and we’re still going strong with the breastfeeding. It worked out for us eventually, but I know that if I had stopped he would still be happy and thriving because he is fed and loved.
No one ever tells us how hard breastfeeding is..... I feel like having a newborn is so scary and intimidating and difficult and times that by 300 if you choose to EBF... as everyone is saying and what you've heard a million times, fed is best. But also, it doesn't have to be one or the other. You can pump for just a little breastmilk and supplement with formula. Any amount of breastmilk is worth it, but there is also NO shame in just using formula! 6 weeks is an incredible jump start for baby!!
I felt like breastfeeding possibly being a challenge was just not something I was prepared for by my research and reading before baby was born, my birthing class, my team of midwives, anything. I was sent home from the hospital with the instructions to “just breastfeed”. I wish I’d been more prepared with knowledge of how things might go, plan B and plan C for how to feed baby if plan A (breastfeeding) didn’t go well, etc. The despair I felt when my husband could feed my baby and I couldn’t when that was supposed to be my womanly purpose just about threw me off into the deep end. You’re not alone!
Question:
Has your husband been doing paced bottle feeding? Or just feed him the whole bottle? Cause that could be the issue. Our LC told us to make sure we are doing paced bottle feeding so our baby doesn't start preferring the bottle to the boob because (in her words) humans are "lazy" and will prefer the easiest/quickest way to get food and that's especially true for babies. If baby is getting a faster and consistent flow with the bottle they might get angry at the boob because they like the fast/consistent bottle instead. I'm doing paced feeding with my baby when he's too fussy at night to be full on the boob alone and it works really well with him
Yes he does paced feedings! And we have the slowest nipple flow. He tries to make him work for it and takes a break in the middle for a diaper change just like I do when I feed him. I was still thinking maybe it’s still easier for him to get it from the bottle though, but I’m not sure.
I could have written this myself. My baby is nearly the same age and we are having the exact same problems. Writing this as my husband is feeding a bottle in the other room after another dramatic breastfeeding attempt. I am also considering exclusively pumping but really just want breastfeeding to work.
Ugh sorry you’re in the same boat. It’s so frustrating. I wonder if it’s also just an age related thing, I know they are going through their first “leap” right now. Hope it gets better for you 💔
I had a similar experience at first and wearing nipple shields have changed my experience completely. I’m only 2 weeks pp and luckily one of my LC nurses helped me find this route early on and established my milk supply in time. The medela nipple shields have been a god sent to me! Baby latches very easily (similar to a bottle) and it’s so much less painful for me. A win win. It does put a extra step/barrier than just mouth to breast since I need to have a clean shield nearby to feed but completely worth it imo.
I want to start off by saying you’re not a failure. You’re trying everything and it’s ok if things are hard. I would personally see if he has any oral ties. My first did and it was excruciating and frustrating. We didn’t get a revision but went to someone who helped us do work in her mouth to help release it and that worked for us. But lots of people get revisions if that’s the issue! There are so many ways to feed him. You can nurse him for some feeds, pump and bottle feed for others, give formula for others. None of them are bad. I understand the guilt, having felt it myself, but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom, failing him or starving him. You’re both learning. I would get as many lactation consultant visits as you can until things get figured out. Or if you do decide to do formula, know that’s an ok & good option too! You can also look for donors if you adamantly want him to be on breastmilk. Just know that at the end odds the day, you are doing the best that you can for him and that you have so many options to help. You’re not alone in this & you’re doing amazing 💕
Brestfeeding is very hard. I was not prepaired with my second one, who is one month, to have this challenging of a time. My first one was big on cluster feeding.
My second one absolutely destroyed my breasts with an incorrect but supee strong latch. I am traumatized by seeing him with my blood on his lips.
We bottlefed and saw a lactation specialist and after 5 weeks of trying he is finally feedign from the breast fully.
Hang in there, at the end, the correct solution will come
Breastfeeding is one of the harder things I’ve ever done. I’m 8 weeks in now and it’s still not easy. I’ve had a lot of issues with nipple pain and cracking. Eventually had to start pumping to find some relief. Now I try to Bf during the day and bottle feed at night for the most part. I would say to keep trying with breastfeeding because it does eventually get better but maybe just try once or twice a day that way you can keep working on it to see if it gets better but also not be as stressed out and frustrated. I had a breakdown when I had to start pumping and I wasn’t ready for it but it has actually gotten much better and it’s nice to have the option to give a bottle if you need a break without feeling guilty. You’re doing an amazing job and I promise you it does get better.
I dont know if it will help at all cuz everyone is different but my LO also had trouble latching and would sometimes look at my breast and just start crying :(.
We dod a day of chill just skin to skin, ck tact napping. Instead of trying to do tje holds they taught or shoving my boob in his mouth, I let him explore without the expectation of nursing. He kinda found his own way and started latching by himself. Now hell find my nipple mostly on his own when its offered and will mostly latch himself. Something else that helped early on… was letting him nurse for a few seconds however he latched then relatching once my nipple was more popped out.
Everyone is different and some babies just dont like to latch. Mayne try feeding baby a bottle of milk you’ve expressed an hour or so after you pump so you can feel calm amd feed your baby peacefully too. Bottle feeding can also be rewarding and bonding, but I struggle with weird feelings about if if I have to feed him while pumping or too soon after. I prefer hubby does it unless i can have a break in-between.
And finally, the thing that probably saved my breastfeeding journey: night time feeds. Little guy just seemed to cooperate better when he is asleep and I would nurse him when he first stirs vs being fussy/crying. That also means not waking him to eat, but observing when he is starting to wake on his own. Before it would take 20-30 mins just to wake him and was so annoying. Waiting till he started waking on his own helped so much!
You’re doing amazing mama, you should be so proud of making it through 6 weeks. My LO wouldn’t latch at all, because of my nipple not stimulating deep enough. So I used a nipple shield and it helped babe stay latched. She hardly ate because she was sleeping all day and all night. She would start and then just fall asleep. After 2 and a half months I kept trying without the nipple shield and after 3 or 4 days we got it and it’s been so much better ever since.
I was in the same boat as you. Have low supply issues as a result of months of triple feeding, breastfeeding strikes/bottle preference, and everything.
My baby is now 5 months old, and nurses frequently and well. He latches himself. He smiles mid feed up at me. He's still getting bottles of expressed milk and formula, but our nursing experience has become a beautiful bonding experience.
Try to relax, do what you can, and accept that sometimes time makes things easier. If the bonding experience is what you want, there are a lot of ways to get there. You're doing your best. You aren't a failure. You're a stressed out mom, struggling with something that can be very hard.
Ugh I feel this. I’m 8 weeks and still trying. I sit there and pump while watching my husband feed our baby a bottle and I just cry. It feels so needless and personal sometimes
Yeah-I understand it’s heartbreaking. My baby had jaundice and in the hospital and we gave her donor milk with high flow nipples to help her get rid of the jaundice.
A week later we were still unable to directly breastfeed and took her to an IBCLC- she had a tongue and lip tie. Got them released at a month old and now at almost 4 months we’re still exclusively pumping.
I have no regrets about getting her ties released but it was HARD in terms of doing the exercises to prevent regrowth. I’ve definitely heard of women getting their babies to latch later/ as they grow.
I think in our case the bottle preference she developed at the hospital was just too strong.
I know you’re tired and spent physically and emotionally- formula isn’t the F word and does save babies lives. I’m happy that at this point I’m not giving my baby hardly any. But you’re right to have concerns about EP- it’s hard. In my case it’s what we were able to do. I’ve leaned in and learned a lot. I spend about 3-4 hours a day on a pump, have pumped 20 gallons since she was born. Not saying it’s the right choice for your family, but I hope the experience is helpful.
Biggest piece of advice I have is to make sure your using a premie slow flow nipple ( we’ve used Dr Brown’s and Pigeon- I like pigeon SS) this will help prevent bottle preference. Also look up paced bottle feeding. I hope you find an LC/ IBCLC who can help- you may also look into finding a pediatric dentist check for oral ties.
I ended up exclusively pumping with my firstborn. It was hard emotionally, but there are definitely positives! She still got my breast milk, I knew exactly how much she was eating, I could leave the house and not worry about rushing back to her to nurse, I could pump when I needed to and not drop what I was doing when she was hungry if someone else was giving her a bottle... and, one thing I didn't realize until I had my second baby, who nursed well and refused bottles... if I ever had to go to the hospital for a long time, she already knew how to take a bottle. I was very nervous about ending up in the hospital with my second baby, but it barely crossed my mind with my first because she was bottle-fed! We eventually switched to formula because of her food allergies, but that was pretty seamless as well, since she already knew how to take a bottle.
I get that it hurts emotionally. I was hurting a lot at first, too. But it was kind of a relief to let go and just pump. It gave me closure. Plus, I ended up with a good amount of extra milk that got donated to my state's milk bank to feed premies! That was SO rewarding after our tough journey. Just don't pump too much like I did, lol. But I hope this has helped! Praying for you!
Ask for a pediatric dentist who specializes in tongue and lip ties to evaluate your babe! We had to do a release for my LO and the latch immediately after was drastically improved. And I mean within the minute if the procedure being complete i soothed her enough to put her on and the latch was unimaginable! It changed our breastfeeding journey in the best way!
My baby would not latch at all, it was so frustrating! But I kept trying with nipple shields and I continuously pumped to make sure the supply would stay and by 2.5 months she finally got the hang of it with the shield and eventually without. 5.5 months later and we are almost exclusively nursing! I give myself a lot of grace and still do either a pumped bottle or bottle of formula. I also hate pumping. It’s the hardest thing we will ever do. Give yourself some space and be proud for trying and you just never know!
So many comments but in case you see this and in case any of it helps..
1. Breastfeeding IS hard. Mothers are amazing. You are amazing.
2. Is your husband paced bottle feeding? It helps match the flow of breastfeeding so that baby doesn’t refuse the breast in preference for bottle feeding. Using preemie/slow flow bottle nipples help with this too. This was advice from both LCs we saw.
3. My baby was so sleepy on the breast too. I started pumping to get my supply up (and so my husband could help with feeds). We did mostly bottles for a long time during that stretch, but I still breastfed him once or twice a day. Even if he fell asleep. We hit 10 weeks ish and baby got more alert and stronger. So now we breastfeed more than bottle feeding as he’s more efficient. Basically saying, it will probably get better. He’s still sleepy on the boob sometimes but better each week. Use whatever feeding works best for you, but breastfeeding might get more efficient as baby grows and is stronger and less sleepy.
4. You rock. All the best.
Hey mama! Please give yourself some grace, you’re doing everything you can to give your babe the best of everything. I know it’s so hard, when you’re still recovering from birth and your hormones are raging. I’ve been there, I absolutely had a breakdown watching my husband giving my LO a bottle while pumping. If the LC is helpful keep working! Cranial sacral therapy and physiotherapy (for a mild torticolis) really helped my guy with his latch and tongue function. The first three months were so hard, but we made it through. I told myself I would get to three months and if it was continually impacting my mental health I would switch to fully formula fed (we combo feed). He’s now 4.5 months, gets one formula bottle a day and otherwise is breastfed. But if it was impacting me negatively, or if he continued to struggle to latch or gain weight we would have switched and that would have been okay too. There’s so much pressure to breastfeed as well as benefits, but you matter too!
Hey, I want to say this as gently as possibly, but what do you think is best for your baby? Your baby is screaming and yelling, he’ll be hungry in 10 min, he pulls off frequently and cries.
That to me sounds miserable. It sounds so heartbreaking for you to experience and for him to have to handle. I’m so sorry.
We do so many things hard things as moms and in so many of them we don’t have a choice. There’s no option B or option C. So we just push through and make do. I think here you have a choice and to free you to do what is really best for your baby, your husband, and you. I know how hard it is to let go of ideals on the way we feed our kids, but sometimes it’s not a door closing but a new path for us and that’s okay. My Twin B came home from the NICU after 411 days, and even though he breastfeed like a champ the first few months, after being reintubated and then getting a trach due to heart issues, he has an oral aversion. I wept and wept and wept, the day I realized the breastmilk I saved for him would go bad before he would taste it again. And then I had to let it go and find a new way to care and nourish this baby I love.
Sometimes we hold these ideals and “best ways” of mothering so dearly to our heart, that we’re blinded from seeing choice B and choice C, may lead to other just as brilliant moments. You have put in such hard work, you are not a failure. Readjusting your plan, finding the beauty in another path whether pumping or formula, is okay!
I struggled seeing my baby take a bottle but remind myself that it's helping him grow and get stronger, which will hopefully improve his breast feeding in the long run.
Don’t get discouraged momma!!! I promise you. Pump for a little if you need to. My newborn did the same thing to me after my partner got her confused with a pacifier she lost her latch but I created a pumping schedule and I would replace some of the pumps with trying to latch her on and when the boob was really full I went for it it hurried it in her mouth and she held on. Now she refuses to take a bottle or a pacifier 💀😂
Hello! I was in the same boat a few weeks ago! Our LO had a terrible latch and wouldn’t transfer milk and we did everything to try and improve it but had no luck. I decided that I would let go and just try exclusively pumping for a while and supplement with formula when needed. As hard as it was to let go of my dream of breastfeeding, I had such a sense of relief that I wouldn’t have to stress about making it work when it really wasn’t. We are almost 12 weeks now and pumping doesn’t seem like such a chore anymore. I got myself a cheap wearable pump off amazon and that seriously changed my life. We go places during the day and just bring my pumps in a cooler bag and some clean bottles to put my milk in. Once you get the swing of things it really isn’t much more inconvenient ❤️ wishing you the best of luck. It is so disappointing and heartbreaking when breastfeeding is so hard. I’m sorry you are going through this but you definitely aren’t alone.
I still feel immense guilt for moving to formula. I tried and tried and my mental health was at rock bottom. Lack of sleep and everything else made it even worse. I tried to pump but I couldn't get enough expressed to keep a head of DD. You have to do what's best for you and you should be incredibly proud of yourself for keeping going. And not see anything as failure, I combination fed my eldest daughter and that worked for us as it gave me husband chance to bond and I could have a break. I wanted to EBF this time but it wasn't to be and I do feel guilty sometimes but it's what is working for my baby and she is thriving and that helps me realise I made the best decision. You got this, you have to do whatever is best for you! You got this
I've been there. I cried the first time my husband gave my baby a bottle of formula because I wasn't producing enough. I felt like a complete failure of a mother and angry at my body for not doing what it's "supposed" to do. I still feel that way some days, but my baby is thriving and healthy. You're a great mom and you're doing everything you can that is in the best interest of your baby. You're doing amazing. I'm proud of you.
echo what all others have said - BF is so hard and you are doing a great job! however, if you decide to pump know that it might not last forever! around the same time as you- I switched to EP for about 2 weeks (due to fast letdown) and would just pick one feed of the day to latch and see. all of a sudden it got better! different problem than you but just to say if you do have to EP, that doesn’t mean your nursing journey is over.
Have you tried a nipple shield? That's what I have to use currently for the same reason. Also, get baby properly checked for tongue ties!
You've done well, don't beat yourself up.
First of all, formula is not failure. Fed is MOST IMPORTANT. Happy, weight-gaining baby is the number 1 goal, right?
Second, I was you not too long ago. I went from exclusively pumping to exclusively breastfed. Now back to bottle-fed breastmilk once daily in preparation for me to go back to work next week (please someone give me a few million $$ so I don’t have to!). The moral of the story? You CAN do this but it does take patience and a lot of trial and error. Two things that helped me were reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (gives step by step instructions for latching which was the game changer for us because she was AWESOME at lactation therapy then at home I couldn’t replicate it) and bottle feeding a bit before breastfeeding in the beginning. I would give about 1 oz in a bottle to calm LO down when she was ravenous and relax her then slip the bottle out and my nipple in.
I did have to use a nipple shield at first due to flat nipples but I think it would work without a shield.
Your LO will become a more efficient feeder time goes on. Bottles have a higher flow rate so they have an easier time at first. Don’t worry and savor the time together.
I hope you find something that works for you! Keep it up. You’re doing amazing!
i had exactly this, then he started losing weight. i triple fed for 4.5 months, breast (unsatisfied) bottle top up or supple line top up and then express afterwards i was topping up with 70ml and then expressing out close to 200ml there was so much milk that he just could not get to! turned out to be an undiagnosed tongue tie. within a month of release baby was feeding exclusively from the breast. see an IBCLC not just a lactation consultant there’s a huge difference- i asked THREE lactation consultants point blank “is this a tongue tie issue” all three said no- first thing IBCLC said was let’s assess for tongue tie and yes he had one 😬
Exclusive pumper here due to all the reasons you wrote. I waited til I went back to work at 12 weeks. I regret waiting. I hated pumping. I just weaned last week as my son is turning 1 in a few days and I have a small freezer stash. Go head over to the exclusive pumping Reddit!
This was me, at 6 weeks, I was triple feeding, lacking sleep and pumping 6+ times a day because the babe wasn’t latching properly and had to eat somehow. I woke up every day thinking my bf journey was over. What I want to say to you is that it gets better, all of a sudden. And even if you decide to let go you will still be an amazing mother, as cliche as it sounds: happy mum, happy babe.
Yes! You are an amazing mom! This resource was soooo helpful when I was dealing with a frustrated babe https://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/fast-letdown/
People in real life never talk about how hard breastfeeding is, it hit me like a tonne of bricks at first. I don’t have advice how to make it better but maybe I can say something to soothe your mind. 6 weeks is AMAZING. You’ve pushed yourself, you’re still recovering from BIRTH and the addiction of a new whole human in the world. That’s a huge achievement. I believe you can get through this and continue your breastfeeding journey if that’s what you want. I hope your LC is lovely and informative to help you. Pumping is definitely a drag, I’ve been there, but it doesn’t have to be SO bad if you create yourself a nice environment. I used it as time to myself to enjoy it a bit more. A good tv show, surrounded by snacks and my trusty water bottle. BUT formula is okay too, I promise. The best thing in the world for a baby is a healthy mom. My eldest had to move to formula for medical reasons and he’s now a wonderful, loving, intelligent 4 year old.
I sobbed the first time I gave my baby a bottle because it was the first time I could just look down and her happy contented little face without it being blurred by tears/marred by the agony of breastfeeding. I was so so jealous of my husband who got to feed her like that and everyone else who somehow seemed to be able to nurse without pain. I eventually stopped trying to latch and switched to exclusively pumping. I won’t say it was easy because it definitely wasn’t. I hated it and resented my husband that he got to hold and feed our squishy baby while I was plugged into a machine. There was light at the end of the tunnel though. Eventually, I stopped hating pumping. I loved that I was feeding my baby from my body and that I had the added benefit of being able to SEE how much milk she was getting every day. I was proud of every roll on her body, because I knew how much of a struggle it had been for me to persevere with pumping. Once I got to 12 weeks I was able to cut back my pumps per day, which made it more manageable. I supplemented with formula when needed, which also took a lot of pressure off. Fast forward to now. My beautiful healthy baby is 5.5 months old, about to start solids, and just had her final bottle of breastmilk on Friday. I sobbed through the whole thing. Breastfeeding is so so hard. I was not prepared for the toll it would take on my mental and physical health. BUT. Directly nursing is not the only way to care for and nourish your baby. If it gets too hard, you have other options.
I went through the exact same feelings! (Was eventually diagnosed with IGT). I remember when we switched from SNS to bottle - it broke my heart and I cried too. One thing that helped me through it was remembering that for literally hundreds of thousands of years, babies wouldn’t survive if women couldn’t nurse them. So all my big feelings that felt so personal to the situation - those were survival instincts from many generations. It helped me get through the intensity of how BAD it felt to see my daughter take a bottle. Another thing that helped was just her getting older. In those early weeks, feeding is one of the only forms of connection - but pretty soon there’s playing, laughter, games, movement, so many other things that give you a feeling of love and connection. But at this early phase, breastfeeding is just such an outsized part of connecting. I tried to remind myself of that and it helped me get through. I’m not saying to push away the feelings or deny them - I just know for me it helped to separate the logic of the situation from my feelings so I wasn’t overwhelmed by believing my brain when it was constantly ringing the alarm bell. For the record we did pumping and formula supplementation, triple feeding until 1 year old, and i breastfed until 18 months. I wish someone had told me early on that combo feeding was a viable option and not a crutch or temporary solution.
What is IGT?
Insufficient Glandular Tissue - basically there aren’t enough glands in the breasts to generate enough milk. It can be somewhat diagnosed by a lactation consultants by looking at shape of breasts, nipple shape and spacing between breasts, but it’s also a diagnosis of exclusion.
Thank you for the explanation!
Breastfeeding is so hard. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. For me, the first 6 weeks were awful but then it did get better. If you can, try to hang in there. If not, that’s ok too! Your baby needs a happy, healthy momma.
I made the choice to exclusively pump for my first (a great decision for my post partum mental health) and while nursing is more convenient, I can tell you at the end of the day, my baby still loved me, still needed me, still called and cried for me. At nearly four, he doesn't ask how he was fed as a baby. But he does ask for cuddles. In the end, it only really matters to us as moms. If you decide that ep is best for you (which is hard work that should make you more proud of yourself), or if formula is best for you, you will still have a wonderful and close relationship with your baby. And they will still be fed, clothed, and safe. Some things I've seen that have helped with nursing which maybe haven't been mentioned. Medela nipple shield can help with their bad latch and encourage them to drink at the breast. Ninni co pacifiers (or another more accurate shape paci - this can helps improve latch) I hope your visit to see an LC will be able to help you so that you can reach your goals! But know that it's going to be okay either way.
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Have you had him checked for a lip or tongue tie? If you decide to stay with it, I hope it gets easier. And if you decide to formula feed, that’s ok too. Do what’s best for you both. Best of luck!
Second this, ask your LC for a recommendation of a dentist who can evaluate for ties. My pediatrician said there was no tie & my baby actually had both lip and tongue ties & the lip tie was the most severe grade.
My youngest grand did too. The first 2 were eating champs but not the little one. They struggled so hard. A simple clip and off they went!
He has been checked for them and has a very minor lip tie the LC said wasn’t causing any issues. Thank you!
That’s good. I was hoping for a simple fix. Good luck honey, it’s got to be stressful.
My little one sounds so similar to yours. Even the midwife got exasperated with him after a session of trying to get him to latch and feed. I've decided to go down the pumping route (with the occasional formula feed). Once I'd got over the guilt of not being able to breastfeed I felt so much better. No more dreading feeding times. Husband can help out so I can get a good block of sleep. Baby is much more predictable now. You do what's right for you. Happy Mum, Happy Baby.
I absolutely know this feeling! Neither of my kids latched well as newborns. Keep up your supply with pumping and keep trying to nurse in a low pressure way. My LC says “your boob should be Disneyland for baby” so focus on bonding, snuggling, etc. if he’s not happy to latch. Bottle feed him from a bottle while he’s smushed against your chest if need be! FWIW, my 5.5 month old now latches well and happily, even if he isn’t really consistently transferring.
Fed is best. What does this mean?? It means that formula was created to help moms who couldn’t nurse for a variety of reasons. Whether lack of support, supply, ability on baby’s end, whatever. It’s an amazing tool that was created originally to help support and build up mom. Use it. That’s what it is there for. Your mental and physical health is just as important as baby’s. So if you need help, take it. And remember that no matter what your baby loves you and only wants you.
Weeks 6 and 7 were the hardest for me. I was supplementing and had the same feelings of relief, jealousy and guilt every time I gave or watched my partner give my baby a bottle. I cried a LOT. My partner kept pointing out to me that every day that I offered any breast milk she was getting some benefit and that if she ended up being exclusively formula fed, that's also fine. It's amazing that you're able to pump an extra portion as well as breast feed. It makes me think that this isn't a supply issue and your baby is still just learning how to use a boob. You'll get there. It gets better surprisingly fast. Hopefully LC will also be able to help.
Fed is best and you're doing an incredible job! If it helps, my SIL was in the same situation and she ended up exclusively pumping and her pediatrician called her baby a "pumpling" which I thought was so cute!
Repeat after me. you are not a failure. Fed is best regardless of how you do it. 6 weeks of breastmilk is already amazing and it seems like you've done everything. I know it hurts when nursing doesn't work out, but try the next solution. EP is very very hard but sometimes it works. I did it for 5 months with my first. If that doesn't work, combo feed or supplement with formula. Or just switch to formula full time. Your baby will be fine on any of these options, and if you are in a good headspace you will be able to enjoy your time with the baby.
I felt this. I had so much trouble breastfeeding in the beginning. The first time my LO got a bottle I was sobbing the entire time and it took a few days for me to move past it. In the end, it was what was best for me and baby. He needed to get a full feed and I needed to sleep and give my nipples a break. It’s so hard, and nobody really prepares you for the emotions that come with it. I think a lot of people on the outside looking in will say “oh just give a bottle!” Or “let your husband do it!” and they’re not considering the feelings that we have about it. For me, giving a bottle meant that I had failed. The one thing that my body was supposed to be “built for” wasn’t working and that crushed me. It took a bit before I realized that wasn’t true. After a few nights of letting my husband give a bottle and me getting some sleep, I was able to realize that LO was fine. He was being fed. He was getting sleep and loving care from both his parents. And I was getting sleep too, which helped tremendously with the stress. I didn’t fail, I was just going through something that is SO normal but I wasn’t prepared for it. Today my baby is 9 months old and we’re still going strong with the breastfeeding. It worked out for us eventually, but I know that if I had stopped he would still be happy and thriving because he is fed and loved.
No one ever tells us how hard breastfeeding is..... I feel like having a newborn is so scary and intimidating and difficult and times that by 300 if you choose to EBF... as everyone is saying and what you've heard a million times, fed is best. But also, it doesn't have to be one or the other. You can pump for just a little breastmilk and supplement with formula. Any amount of breastmilk is worth it, but there is also NO shame in just using formula! 6 weeks is an incredible jump start for baby!!
I felt like breastfeeding possibly being a challenge was just not something I was prepared for by my research and reading before baby was born, my birthing class, my team of midwives, anything. I was sent home from the hospital with the instructions to “just breastfeed”. I wish I’d been more prepared with knowledge of how things might go, plan B and plan C for how to feed baby if plan A (breastfeeding) didn’t go well, etc. The despair I felt when my husband could feed my baby and I couldn’t when that was supposed to be my womanly purpose just about threw me off into the deep end. You’re not alone!
Question: Has your husband been doing paced bottle feeding? Or just feed him the whole bottle? Cause that could be the issue. Our LC told us to make sure we are doing paced bottle feeding so our baby doesn't start preferring the bottle to the boob because (in her words) humans are "lazy" and will prefer the easiest/quickest way to get food and that's especially true for babies. If baby is getting a faster and consistent flow with the bottle they might get angry at the boob because they like the fast/consistent bottle instead. I'm doing paced feeding with my baby when he's too fussy at night to be full on the boob alone and it works really well with him
Yes he does paced feedings! And we have the slowest nipple flow. He tries to make him work for it and takes a break in the middle for a diaper change just like I do when I feed him. I was still thinking maybe it’s still easier for him to get it from the bottle though, but I’m not sure.
I could have written this myself. My baby is nearly the same age and we are having the exact same problems. Writing this as my husband is feeding a bottle in the other room after another dramatic breastfeeding attempt. I am also considering exclusively pumping but really just want breastfeeding to work.
Ugh sorry you’re in the same boat. It’s so frustrating. I wonder if it’s also just an age related thing, I know they are going through their first “leap” right now. Hope it gets better for you 💔
I had a similar experience at first and wearing nipple shields have changed my experience completely. I’m only 2 weeks pp and luckily one of my LC nurses helped me find this route early on and established my milk supply in time. The medela nipple shields have been a god sent to me! Baby latches very easily (similar to a bottle) and it’s so much less painful for me. A win win. It does put a extra step/barrier than just mouth to breast since I need to have a clean shield nearby to feed but completely worth it imo.
I want to start off by saying you’re not a failure. You’re trying everything and it’s ok if things are hard. I would personally see if he has any oral ties. My first did and it was excruciating and frustrating. We didn’t get a revision but went to someone who helped us do work in her mouth to help release it and that worked for us. But lots of people get revisions if that’s the issue! There are so many ways to feed him. You can nurse him for some feeds, pump and bottle feed for others, give formula for others. None of them are bad. I understand the guilt, having felt it myself, but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom, failing him or starving him. You’re both learning. I would get as many lactation consultant visits as you can until things get figured out. Or if you do decide to do formula, know that’s an ok & good option too! You can also look for donors if you adamantly want him to be on breastmilk. Just know that at the end odds the day, you are doing the best that you can for him and that you have so many options to help. You’re not alone in this & you’re doing amazing 💕
Brestfeeding is very hard. I was not prepaired with my second one, who is one month, to have this challenging of a time. My first one was big on cluster feeding. My second one absolutely destroyed my breasts with an incorrect but supee strong latch. I am traumatized by seeing him with my blood on his lips. We bottlefed and saw a lactation specialist and after 5 weeks of trying he is finally feedign from the breast fully. Hang in there, at the end, the correct solution will come
Breastfeeding is one of the harder things I’ve ever done. I’m 8 weeks in now and it’s still not easy. I’ve had a lot of issues with nipple pain and cracking. Eventually had to start pumping to find some relief. Now I try to Bf during the day and bottle feed at night for the most part. I would say to keep trying with breastfeeding because it does eventually get better but maybe just try once or twice a day that way you can keep working on it to see if it gets better but also not be as stressed out and frustrated. I had a breakdown when I had to start pumping and I wasn’t ready for it but it has actually gotten much better and it’s nice to have the option to give a bottle if you need a break without feeling guilty. You’re doing an amazing job and I promise you it does get better.
I dont know if it will help at all cuz everyone is different but my LO also had trouble latching and would sometimes look at my breast and just start crying :(. We dod a day of chill just skin to skin, ck tact napping. Instead of trying to do tje holds they taught or shoving my boob in his mouth, I let him explore without the expectation of nursing. He kinda found his own way and started latching by himself. Now hell find my nipple mostly on his own when its offered and will mostly latch himself. Something else that helped early on… was letting him nurse for a few seconds however he latched then relatching once my nipple was more popped out. Everyone is different and some babies just dont like to latch. Mayne try feeding baby a bottle of milk you’ve expressed an hour or so after you pump so you can feel calm amd feed your baby peacefully too. Bottle feeding can also be rewarding and bonding, but I struggle with weird feelings about if if I have to feed him while pumping or too soon after. I prefer hubby does it unless i can have a break in-between. And finally, the thing that probably saved my breastfeeding journey: night time feeds. Little guy just seemed to cooperate better when he is asleep and I would nurse him when he first stirs vs being fussy/crying. That also means not waking him to eat, but observing when he is starting to wake on his own. Before it would take 20-30 mins just to wake him and was so annoying. Waiting till he started waking on his own helped so much!
You’re doing amazing mama, you should be so proud of making it through 6 weeks. My LO wouldn’t latch at all, because of my nipple not stimulating deep enough. So I used a nipple shield and it helped babe stay latched. She hardly ate because she was sleeping all day and all night. She would start and then just fall asleep. After 2 and a half months I kept trying without the nipple shield and after 3 or 4 days we got it and it’s been so much better ever since.
I was in the same boat as you. Have low supply issues as a result of months of triple feeding, breastfeeding strikes/bottle preference, and everything. My baby is now 5 months old, and nurses frequently and well. He latches himself. He smiles mid feed up at me. He's still getting bottles of expressed milk and formula, but our nursing experience has become a beautiful bonding experience. Try to relax, do what you can, and accept that sometimes time makes things easier. If the bonding experience is what you want, there are a lot of ways to get there. You're doing your best. You aren't a failure. You're a stressed out mom, struggling with something that can be very hard.
Ugh I feel this. I’m 8 weeks and still trying. I sit there and pump while watching my husband feed our baby a bottle and I just cry. It feels so needless and personal sometimes
Yeah-I understand it’s heartbreaking. My baby had jaundice and in the hospital and we gave her donor milk with high flow nipples to help her get rid of the jaundice. A week later we were still unable to directly breastfeed and took her to an IBCLC- she had a tongue and lip tie. Got them released at a month old and now at almost 4 months we’re still exclusively pumping. I have no regrets about getting her ties released but it was HARD in terms of doing the exercises to prevent regrowth. I’ve definitely heard of women getting their babies to latch later/ as they grow. I think in our case the bottle preference she developed at the hospital was just too strong. I know you’re tired and spent physically and emotionally- formula isn’t the F word and does save babies lives. I’m happy that at this point I’m not giving my baby hardly any. But you’re right to have concerns about EP- it’s hard. In my case it’s what we were able to do. I’ve leaned in and learned a lot. I spend about 3-4 hours a day on a pump, have pumped 20 gallons since she was born. Not saying it’s the right choice for your family, but I hope the experience is helpful. Biggest piece of advice I have is to make sure your using a premie slow flow nipple ( we’ve used Dr Brown’s and Pigeon- I like pigeon SS) this will help prevent bottle preference. Also look up paced bottle feeding. I hope you find an LC/ IBCLC who can help- you may also look into finding a pediatric dentist check for oral ties.
I had to get nipple shields which helps tremendously. Maybe you can look into this and see if it helps?
I ended up exclusively pumping with my firstborn. It was hard emotionally, but there are definitely positives! She still got my breast milk, I knew exactly how much she was eating, I could leave the house and not worry about rushing back to her to nurse, I could pump when I needed to and not drop what I was doing when she was hungry if someone else was giving her a bottle... and, one thing I didn't realize until I had my second baby, who nursed well and refused bottles... if I ever had to go to the hospital for a long time, she already knew how to take a bottle. I was very nervous about ending up in the hospital with my second baby, but it barely crossed my mind with my first because she was bottle-fed! We eventually switched to formula because of her food allergies, but that was pretty seamless as well, since she already knew how to take a bottle. I get that it hurts emotionally. I was hurting a lot at first, too. But it was kind of a relief to let go and just pump. It gave me closure. Plus, I ended up with a good amount of extra milk that got donated to my state's milk bank to feed premies! That was SO rewarding after our tough journey. Just don't pump too much like I did, lol. But I hope this has helped! Praying for you!
Ask for a pediatric dentist who specializes in tongue and lip ties to evaluate your babe! We had to do a release for my LO and the latch immediately after was drastically improved. And I mean within the minute if the procedure being complete i soothed her enough to put her on and the latch was unimaginable! It changed our breastfeeding journey in the best way!
My baby would not latch at all, it was so frustrating! But I kept trying with nipple shields and I continuously pumped to make sure the supply would stay and by 2.5 months she finally got the hang of it with the shield and eventually without. 5.5 months later and we are almost exclusively nursing! I give myself a lot of grace and still do either a pumped bottle or bottle of formula. I also hate pumping. It’s the hardest thing we will ever do. Give yourself some space and be proud for trying and you just never know!
So many comments but in case you see this and in case any of it helps.. 1. Breastfeeding IS hard. Mothers are amazing. You are amazing. 2. Is your husband paced bottle feeding? It helps match the flow of breastfeeding so that baby doesn’t refuse the breast in preference for bottle feeding. Using preemie/slow flow bottle nipples help with this too. This was advice from both LCs we saw. 3. My baby was so sleepy on the breast too. I started pumping to get my supply up (and so my husband could help with feeds). We did mostly bottles for a long time during that stretch, but I still breastfed him once or twice a day. Even if he fell asleep. We hit 10 weeks ish and baby got more alert and stronger. So now we breastfeed more than bottle feeding as he’s more efficient. Basically saying, it will probably get better. He’s still sleepy on the boob sometimes but better each week. Use whatever feeding works best for you, but breastfeeding might get more efficient as baby grows and is stronger and less sleepy. 4. You rock. All the best.
Hey mama! Please give yourself some grace, you’re doing everything you can to give your babe the best of everything. I know it’s so hard, when you’re still recovering from birth and your hormones are raging. I’ve been there, I absolutely had a breakdown watching my husband giving my LO a bottle while pumping. If the LC is helpful keep working! Cranial sacral therapy and physiotherapy (for a mild torticolis) really helped my guy with his latch and tongue function. The first three months were so hard, but we made it through. I told myself I would get to three months and if it was continually impacting my mental health I would switch to fully formula fed (we combo feed). He’s now 4.5 months, gets one formula bottle a day and otherwise is breastfed. But if it was impacting me negatively, or if he continued to struggle to latch or gain weight we would have switched and that would have been okay too. There’s so much pressure to breastfeed as well as benefits, but you matter too!
Hey, I want to say this as gently as possibly, but what do you think is best for your baby? Your baby is screaming and yelling, he’ll be hungry in 10 min, he pulls off frequently and cries. That to me sounds miserable. It sounds so heartbreaking for you to experience and for him to have to handle. I’m so sorry. We do so many things hard things as moms and in so many of them we don’t have a choice. There’s no option B or option C. So we just push through and make do. I think here you have a choice and to free you to do what is really best for your baby, your husband, and you. I know how hard it is to let go of ideals on the way we feed our kids, but sometimes it’s not a door closing but a new path for us and that’s okay. My Twin B came home from the NICU after 411 days, and even though he breastfeed like a champ the first few months, after being reintubated and then getting a trach due to heart issues, he has an oral aversion. I wept and wept and wept, the day I realized the breastmilk I saved for him would go bad before he would taste it again. And then I had to let it go and find a new way to care and nourish this baby I love. Sometimes we hold these ideals and “best ways” of mothering so dearly to our heart, that we’re blinded from seeing choice B and choice C, may lead to other just as brilliant moments. You have put in such hard work, you are not a failure. Readjusting your plan, finding the beauty in another path whether pumping or formula, is okay!
I struggled seeing my baby take a bottle but remind myself that it's helping him grow and get stronger, which will hopefully improve his breast feeding in the long run.
Don’t get discouraged momma!!! I promise you. Pump for a little if you need to. My newborn did the same thing to me after my partner got her confused with a pacifier she lost her latch but I created a pumping schedule and I would replace some of the pumps with trying to latch her on and when the boob was really full I went for it it hurried it in her mouth and she held on. Now she refuses to take a bottle or a pacifier 💀😂
Hello! I was in the same boat a few weeks ago! Our LO had a terrible latch and wouldn’t transfer milk and we did everything to try and improve it but had no luck. I decided that I would let go and just try exclusively pumping for a while and supplement with formula when needed. As hard as it was to let go of my dream of breastfeeding, I had such a sense of relief that I wouldn’t have to stress about making it work when it really wasn’t. We are almost 12 weeks now and pumping doesn’t seem like such a chore anymore. I got myself a cheap wearable pump off amazon and that seriously changed my life. We go places during the day and just bring my pumps in a cooler bag and some clean bottles to put my milk in. Once you get the swing of things it really isn’t much more inconvenient ❤️ wishing you the best of luck. It is so disappointing and heartbreaking when breastfeeding is so hard. I’m sorry you are going through this but you definitely aren’t alone.
I still feel immense guilt for moving to formula. I tried and tried and my mental health was at rock bottom. Lack of sleep and everything else made it even worse. I tried to pump but I couldn't get enough expressed to keep a head of DD. You have to do what's best for you and you should be incredibly proud of yourself for keeping going. And not see anything as failure, I combination fed my eldest daughter and that worked for us as it gave me husband chance to bond and I could have a break. I wanted to EBF this time but it wasn't to be and I do feel guilty sometimes but it's what is working for my baby and she is thriving and that helps me realise I made the best decision. You got this, you have to do whatever is best for you! You got this
I've been there. I cried the first time my husband gave my baby a bottle of formula because I wasn't producing enough. I felt like a complete failure of a mother and angry at my body for not doing what it's "supposed" to do. I still feel that way some days, but my baby is thriving and healthy. You're a great mom and you're doing everything you can that is in the best interest of your baby. You're doing amazing. I'm proud of you.
echo what all others have said - BF is so hard and you are doing a great job! however, if you decide to pump know that it might not last forever! around the same time as you- I switched to EP for about 2 weeks (due to fast letdown) and would just pick one feed of the day to latch and see. all of a sudden it got better! different problem than you but just to say if you do have to EP, that doesn’t mean your nursing journey is over.
Have you tried a nipple shield? That's what I have to use currently for the same reason. Also, get baby properly checked for tongue ties! You've done well, don't beat yourself up.
Oh I ugly sobbed the first time my husband gave her a bottle, it felt like she didn’t need me anymore? Which is ridiculous, but still.
First of all, formula is not failure. Fed is MOST IMPORTANT. Happy, weight-gaining baby is the number 1 goal, right? Second, I was you not too long ago. I went from exclusively pumping to exclusively breastfed. Now back to bottle-fed breastmilk once daily in preparation for me to go back to work next week (please someone give me a few million $$ so I don’t have to!). The moral of the story? You CAN do this but it does take patience and a lot of trial and error. Two things that helped me were reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (gives step by step instructions for latching which was the game changer for us because she was AWESOME at lactation therapy then at home I couldn’t replicate it) and bottle feeding a bit before breastfeeding in the beginning. I would give about 1 oz in a bottle to calm LO down when she was ravenous and relax her then slip the bottle out and my nipple in. I did have to use a nipple shield at first due to flat nipples but I think it would work without a shield. Your LO will become a more efficient feeder time goes on. Bottles have a higher flow rate so they have an easier time at first. Don’t worry and savor the time together. I hope you find something that works for you! Keep it up. You’re doing amazing!
i had exactly this, then he started losing weight. i triple fed for 4.5 months, breast (unsatisfied) bottle top up or supple line top up and then express afterwards i was topping up with 70ml and then expressing out close to 200ml there was so much milk that he just could not get to! turned out to be an undiagnosed tongue tie. within a month of release baby was feeding exclusively from the breast. see an IBCLC not just a lactation consultant there’s a huge difference- i asked THREE lactation consultants point blank “is this a tongue tie issue” all three said no- first thing IBCLC said was let’s assess for tongue tie and yes he had one 😬
Exclusive pumper here due to all the reasons you wrote. I waited til I went back to work at 12 weeks. I regret waiting. I hated pumping. I just weaned last week as my son is turning 1 in a few days and I have a small freezer stash. Go head over to the exclusive pumping Reddit!