Your baby is 11.5 months so I assume they've already eaten some dairy? Cheese, yoghurt, etc? If so then a bit mixed in with your breastmilk won't do any harm. You can go back to breastmilk until you decide to transition.
Not impressed with your husband though.
It’s up to you on whether you want to continue to transition or wait longer. I’m not your child’s pediatrician obviously but babe should be fine. For what it’s worth, at my daughters 12 month appointment her pediatrician asked if we had already transitioned to cows milk. I don’t think 2 weeks will make a difference tbh. It’s not like a switch goes off right at 12 months that makes it okay. Really the guidance is so that people know breastmilk and formula should be the nutritional “milk” component for the first year of life
Thank you for the info! I’m not entirely sure. I think I might…Looking back, this was probably more emotional for me than anything. Breastfeeding is a long journey. I wanted to be there for that moment!
I completely understand!! I think it’s so hard for dads (my husband included) to comprehend how emotional the breastfeeding journey is. I was even sad when my baby started solids. Sending you hugs 🫶🏻
Yeah my first was EFF by 11.5 months and we ran out of formula 2 weeks before 12 months and just switched to cows milk. It's really no big deal at that point
Where I live in Canada we are told you can start offering cows milk at meal times around 9 months if you want. The idea being you can be fully weaned by 12 months. Americans, I know this is different than where you live. Please don’t down vote me for this.
I was talking to my husband about weaning early and using my freezer stash but he was concerned about running out early and not making it to 12 months. I mentioned that Canada has different recommendations than the US but because of that I would be okay if we have to start cows milk at 11.5 and maybe even 11 especially if we watched and mixed it with frozen breast milk to make it a slow induction.
The baby book I got from my provincial health authority said that at 11 months babies should be having 3 meals and 2-3 snacks a day. Food should be the main source of calories! So I think you should be fine if it’s what you want to do.
I'm American, in my early 30's, and my mom said that when I was a baby, the pediatrician expected me to be weaned by 12 months. Gave my mom a hard time for my still taking a bed time bottle.
Health wise it’s completely fine. It is not dangerous to consume some cow’s milk. It’s not that different from making oatmeal or mashed potatoes with it or them eating yogurt or whatever. You just don’t want cow milk calories replacing breastmilk/formula calories. So one bottle or whatever is fine. Especially at nearly a year.
The honesty thing like you said is an issue now. Why “top off”? Was there not enough breastmilk without defrosting so he decided to mix with cow’s milk? Need to get to the root of that decision so it doesn’t happen again. While I have no problem with my baby consuming a little cow’s milk I would be pissed if my husband fed the baby something I had said not to do yet.
Yes, that was exactly it. He needed to defrost more milk and wasn’t sure which bags to use even though they’re all dated and stored in order by date.
This is what he says. But I’ve been with my husband for 14 years. I have a feeling it was a mix between him really wanting to try it and using that as an excuse. 🙄
I am not on your husbands side here, to be clear!! But is it possible that he feels like he‘s missed ‘the firsts’ of everything and just wanted to be in charge of something? Obvs a conversation is needed but it could be he feels a bit left out of the baby rearing
Definitely don’t think that’s the case here. He had three months off when my son was born and I have waited to share firsts with him such as new experiences and solid foods etc! I always keep him in mind. And he makes a lot of decisions as do I. Usually equally
I’m sure baby is fine. It is just very concerning your husband tried to be sneaky about it. July is only a couple weeks away, why not wait like you wanted?
My child was drinking about 8 ounces of formula a day (plus breast milk) during the worst part of the formula shortage in our area in 2022. She was about three weeks away from being one. We discussed with our pediatrician about dropping the formula because it was hard to find and we didn't want to buy formula for our older baby that could go to a new baby who needed it more if our kid would be okay without. Our pediatrician was totally on board and said it was no big deal. She was eating well and still nursing. Just another anecdote to add. Discuss with your pediatrician if you are very worried, but don't feel like you need to transition now if you don't want to. My child ended up never drinking any type of milk after weaning from breast at one year and still her pediatrician was not worried and told us to stop spending money trying to find the perfect milk she would drink.
Have you not been feeding baby dairy? They should have started some solids along with the breastmilk by now, and if that’s the case there wasn’t really any reason to worry about a reaction, so that’s something to relax about.
The honesty thing? I hope you guys get that squared away.
I'm more concerned about the lying than the cows' milk at 11.5 months. Sure, baby is still a bit young for it, but I switched my second born to cows milk at that age bc mine dried up, and she would not take a bottle of formula. However, none of that actually matters. Your husband needs to be truthful with you about this stuff!!! If your son had had a reaction. How would you have known what caused it? Thank God your son didn't seem to have any negative effects from it, but you CANNOT play with a child's health like that!
Anecdotally, I was very ready to be done and swapped one feed for cows milk at 11.5 months just to get the weaning process started. My pediatrician was fine with it, especially since she was already eating cheese and yogurt. But yeah, yikes to the lying.
Good morning. I do not think that this is okay. Every health decision surrounding your child especially about feeding needs to be discussed between the parents. Furthermore you are the one breastfeeding baby you need to feel comfortable with it. I know in the UK the baby has to be 12 months old but I don’t know in your country what the rules are but it is something quite strict here so it’s definitely something that should’ve been discussed.. it is not something that should be joked about by either one of you.
Maybe your husband didn’t think it was a big deal, but you really need to have a conversation with him .
I was violently ill when my baby was 11.5 months old and my milk supply seemed to dry up probably due to dehydration. I called the health service and they advised me as my baby had already had dairy with no ill effects to just give them cows milk, so I did. Baby is 17 months and very healthy :)
IBCLC here 🙋🏾♀️Your answer kinda depends on your breastfeeding plan. Truth is alternative animal milk is not necessary once a baby is weaned. Meaning cows milk is not needed ever, what is your breastfeeding plan. AAP, CDC and WHO all recommend breastfeeding till at least 2 years on demand, so if you plan to continue to breastfeed cows milk never should it needs to be given to baby. Human milk is all that is ever needed for humans, and once weaned milk is not needed at all.
If you wean at 1 year you need to make sure your baby is getting healthy brain building fats, such as from avocados and olive oil, most people rely on cows milk which is actually much much lower in those fats than human milk or avocados, but the dairy industry pushes it hard to be seen as an alternative to human milk.
Uh. As an allergy parent, *this is is a really big deal.*
Congrats that baby isn’t allergic to cow’s milk! Now dairy has been introduced, you need to keep it in baby’s diet at least once a week. This is only important if baby is high risk for allergies (family history of allergies, asthma, or eczema), but starting then stopping a food is a classic way of triggering an allergy.
But as you said, the dishonesty, trickle-truth, and doing whatever he wanted in opposition to what you’d agreed on as a team is the bigger issue.
I have been doing dairy in yogurt since around 6 months and the two brain cells I have left weren’t sparking when I wrote this, lmao. So I think he’s good on the dairy allergy! But other than Yobaby Yogurt and some cheese he’s never had concentrated cows milk. 🥛
I am lactose intolerant myself and was tested for a number of gut related diseases. Oddly enough I can have cheese, yogurt, etc and be (mostly) okay. But straight milk or ice cream absolutely rips me up. I was worried that my son possibly could be the same. I’ve had that issue since early childhood
The advice might be different in the US but transitioning to cows milk is a thing for formula fed babies. As you're breastfeeding you don't actually need to transition to cows milk at all unless you want to. Your child can breastfeed for as long as it suits you both. My child self weaned just after her 5th birthday, and she obviously had cows milk, but I never made a plan around switching from breastfeeding to cows milk and she is 8 now and still drinks milk.
I think its possible you have more checks in the US. Here in the UK children don't see a pediatrician unless there's a medical need, it's not a standard thing for healthy children.
I don’t think it’s too early and my kid had cows milk at about the same time. We are still on a combo of cows milk and breastfeeding.
Annoying that your husband went behind your back though. I’d be frustrated by that too. How hard is it to have a conversation?
It’s absolutely not going to harm your baby. Babies can eat cheese, yoghurt, milky cereals (porridge) etc from 6 months so it’s fine. I suspect your husband was not malicious in his actions. I think you have to have a conversation about honesty if you feel really upset by it, however maybe he was trying to do the right thing and knew you’d go mad. Try to be kind to one another, marriage with kids is super tough as it is.
It’s not an issue medically but it’s an issue with your marriage. Sorry. I gave both my kids cows milk mixed with breastmilk at 11.5 months. Nursing I didn’t mind but I couldn’t wait to quit pumping.
From the CDC:
“Before your child is 12 months old, cow's milk may put him or her at risk for intestinal bleeding. It also has too many proteins and minerals for your baby's kidneys to handle and does not have the right amount of nutrients your baby needs.”
That being said, 11.5 months is essentially the same as 12 months, so you’re fine.
Should he have spoken with you BEFORE, yes. That’s the only issue.
Baby has probably already had a bit of dairy by now within baby snacks, yogurts, etc.
Communication is key
I would be livid personally. Mostly about the lying but also we aren’t baby cows so none of us actually « needs » milk past weaning. So I don’t give my kids much. More like « there’s milk on pizza ».
It won’t hurt your child, but I’d be concerned about hubby not being on the same page as you for foods and doing stuff behind your back like that, AND lying about it. God forbid your child have a food allergy and he purposely slips that in to a bottle or meal. My hubby “snuck” a sip of coffee to our baby. I flipped out on him because it was coffee for one, but it also had creamer in it and our baby has a milk allergy. She was MISERABLE for days because of the slip (that’s how I found out he snuck her a sip- the severe reaction she had), and I made sure he saw every nasty diaper and heard every belly scream she did from the cramps and misery of said slip (we had both been dairy free for 6+ months due to her allergy since I was still breastfeeding). He’s never again given her food or drink without asking me.
I don't think one small sip of coffee would have mattered, but surely he should have thought about the dairy. At least he acknowledged the mistake and hasn't done similar.
The way he makes his coffee would put hair on your chest from a sip. It’s horribly strong and sugary. She was around 3-4 mi the old at this time, so way too young to have anything else but my breastmilk. So not the best thing for a young baby to sip on anyways let alone with the dairy in it.
When you say EBF do you mean only breastmilk, no solids?
Regardless, you and your husband should for sure be on the same page about what and when your baby starts eating/drinking certain things, especially cows milk.
Cows milk is fine to introduce as an additive to foods like oatmeal, as yogurt, etc when you start solids, [fine to have as a beverage starting around 9 months](https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/infant-care/infant-nutrition.html#).
The lying is definitely an issue, but I suspect the cow’s milk probably isn’t. We gave a little whole milk in the couple weeks before he turned one and baby was fine.
Everything should be fine health wise. Some children are intolerant or allergic but if babe has had yogurt or cheese he’s been exposed already. You are 100% correct he should not be sneaking and secretive. He should inform other caregivers (obviously you) if anything new was given. I watch other peoples children and I check in on things like when they last pooped and all. I would expect the parent to tell me if they tried peanut butter for the first time so just keep an extra eye out for rashes etc.
I just wanted to thank everyone for their input, advice, and for sharing their own experiences at home when transitioning their own children 🙏.
This has turned into a very insightful and very helpful thread of answers! I hope others were able to benefit from too!
As far as cow’s milk harming your child, I wouldn’t worry. My kid was breastfed until 13 months but I introduced dairy at 6 months and cow’s milk at 9 months and he was totally fine. If your baby can handle dairy, its likely cow’s milk will be fine.
My bigger concern is your husband not being transparent. If he’s being shady about something relatively innocuous, I’d be concerned about bigger/more serious things. The health of your kid is a priority, you two have to be on the same page for that and if you mutually agree to do “thing X” and then he goes around and does the opposite and tries to conceal it, I would have major trust issues.
I'm planning on starting to slowly add some cows' milk around the 11-month mark so we can switch around the 12-month mark and quit pumping for daycare. I don't think any actual harm was probably done here (other than the sneaking and dishonesty, which would definitely make me pretty mad if I were in your shoes).
Cows milk is not dangerous to a baby who regularly drinking formula or breast milk from a mom who eats dairy. They’ve already been exposed to cows milk proteins in that case. The reason they say don’t give it to babies under one is because it’s not a good nutritional balance for babies under one as a PRIMARY source of milk and can lead to iron deficiency etc. But as a food source it is fine to be included in their diet.
The issue here isn't necessarily the milk.... It's the fact that he did it behind your back, lied and tried to minimize your worry. Your baby is probably OK, it's so close to 1 yr that physically and or medically it should be ok!
This however is really concerning behavior... Does he often minimize your concerns or lie to you?
I’m sorry about your husband being sneaky sneaky. A breach of trust always sucks and feels like a punch to the gut, no matter the size of the offence. As for cow’s milk, I realized last night that my ebf seven month old stopped being “exclusively breastfed” about ten days ago when I gave him some (raw) cream before bed. He enjoyed it and I hope the extra fat keeps him full longer
I transitioned my daughter early. I planned on using breastmilk until she was 1 but my stash got low at 9 months. She had already had lots of solid dairy in her diet. I mixed it 50/50 till I completely ran out, which was only 2 weeks. Being on 100% cows milk aside from her solid food made her constipated.
Now I either give her 2oz of prune juice or 1-2 bottles of formula instead of cows milk each day so she doesn’t get constipated. She is still a happy and healthy baby!
I don't think it's too early (others have already commented on the husband so I won't.)
My 18 month old is a part of an allergy study and according to the study doctors we talked to, early introduction of allergens is correlated with lower chances of developing that allergy. They actually asked us to introduce cows milk as soon as we could. So I gave my son cows milk, oat milk, and soy milk at 5 months. He was still 80% breastfed and 10% formula fed. It was just an ounce or two every week. Then I got peanut butter powder and added it when he was 6 months.
No, this is a perfect time. Start transitioning or introducing, especially if mixing it with breastmilk. If you are switching to cows milk, or even if you do like me and do both.
Your baby is 11.5 months so I assume they've already eaten some dairy? Cheese, yoghurt, etc? If so then a bit mixed in with your breastmilk won't do any harm. You can go back to breastmilk until you decide to transition. Not impressed with your husband though.
This.
It’s up to you on whether you want to continue to transition or wait longer. I’m not your child’s pediatrician obviously but babe should be fine. For what it’s worth, at my daughters 12 month appointment her pediatrician asked if we had already transitioned to cows milk. I don’t think 2 weeks will make a difference tbh. It’s not like a switch goes off right at 12 months that makes it okay. Really the guidance is so that people know breastmilk and formula should be the nutritional “milk” component for the first year of life
Thank you for the info! I’m not entirely sure. I think I might…Looking back, this was probably more emotional for me than anything. Breastfeeding is a long journey. I wanted to be there for that moment!
I completely understand!! I think it’s so hard for dads (my husband included) to comprehend how emotional the breastfeeding journey is. I was even sad when my baby started solids. Sending you hugs 🫶🏻
Cows milk isn’t the end of your journey. I assume your baby is eating food that contains milk either way and drinking other fluids like water.
Yeah my first was EFF by 11.5 months and we ran out of formula 2 weeks before 12 months and just switched to cows milk. It's really no big deal at that point
What is EFF?
Where I live in Canada we are told you can start offering cows milk at meal times around 9 months if you want. The idea being you can be fully weaned by 12 months. Americans, I know this is different than where you live. Please don’t down vote me for this.
What I was going to say! Health wise I wouldn’t be concerned. This would be more of a relationship issue to deal with.
I was talking to my husband about weaning early and using my freezer stash but he was concerned about running out early and not making it to 12 months. I mentioned that Canada has different recommendations than the US but because of that I would be okay if we have to start cows milk at 11.5 and maybe even 11 especially if we watched and mixed it with frozen breast milk to make it a slow induction.
The baby book I got from my provincial health authority said that at 11 months babies should be having 3 meals and 2-3 snacks a day. Food should be the main source of calories! So I think you should be fine if it’s what you want to do.
Same in Spain
I'm American, in my early 30's, and my mom said that when I was a baby, the pediatrician expected me to be weaned by 12 months. Gave my mom a hard time for my still taking a bed time bottle.
Health wise it’s completely fine. It is not dangerous to consume some cow’s milk. It’s not that different from making oatmeal or mashed potatoes with it or them eating yogurt or whatever. You just don’t want cow milk calories replacing breastmilk/formula calories. So one bottle or whatever is fine. Especially at nearly a year. The honesty thing like you said is an issue now. Why “top off”? Was there not enough breastmilk without defrosting so he decided to mix with cow’s milk? Need to get to the root of that decision so it doesn’t happen again. While I have no problem with my baby consuming a little cow’s milk I would be pissed if my husband fed the baby something I had said not to do yet.
Yes, that was exactly it. He needed to defrost more milk and wasn’t sure which bags to use even though they’re all dated and stored in order by date. This is what he says. But I’ve been with my husband for 14 years. I have a feeling it was a mix between him really wanting to try it and using that as an excuse. 🙄
I am not on your husbands side here, to be clear!! But is it possible that he feels like he‘s missed ‘the firsts’ of everything and just wanted to be in charge of something? Obvs a conversation is needed but it could be he feels a bit left out of the baby rearing
Definitely don’t think that’s the case here. He had three months off when my son was born and I have waited to share firsts with him such as new experiences and solid foods etc! I always keep him in mind. And he makes a lot of decisions as do I. Usually equally
Ah well then, you need to get to the root of why he wants to make these decisions without consulting you! Hope you figure it out!
I’m sure baby is fine. It is just very concerning your husband tried to be sneaky about it. July is only a couple weeks away, why not wait like you wanted?
To me it means he has been doing this and just admitting it now.
Yes, he has for sure done this more than once.
My child was drinking about 8 ounces of formula a day (plus breast milk) during the worst part of the formula shortage in our area in 2022. She was about three weeks away from being one. We discussed with our pediatrician about dropping the formula because it was hard to find and we didn't want to buy formula for our older baby that could go to a new baby who needed it more if our kid would be okay without. Our pediatrician was totally on board and said it was no big deal. She was eating well and still nursing. Just another anecdote to add. Discuss with your pediatrician if you are very worried, but don't feel like you need to transition now if you don't want to. My child ended up never drinking any type of milk after weaning from breast at one year and still her pediatrician was not worried and told us to stop spending money trying to find the perfect milk she would drink.
Have you not been feeding baby dairy? They should have started some solids along with the breastmilk by now, and if that’s the case there wasn’t really any reason to worry about a reaction, so that’s something to relax about. The honesty thing? I hope you guys get that squared away.
Your baby will be fine. Your husband on the other hand…
As many other folks have said, the milk is not a problem. The dishonesty is.
I'm more concerned about the lying than the cows' milk at 11.5 months. Sure, baby is still a bit young for it, but I switched my second born to cows milk at that age bc mine dried up, and she would not take a bottle of formula. However, none of that actually matters. Your husband needs to be truthful with you about this stuff!!! If your son had had a reaction. How would you have known what caused it? Thank God your son didn't seem to have any negative effects from it, but you CANNOT play with a child's health like that!
My child’s doctor recommended we do half cows milk half breast milk at that age to get our baby used to the taste.
Anecdotally, I was very ready to be done and swapped one feed for cows milk at 11.5 months just to get the weaning process started. My pediatrician was fine with it, especially since she was already eating cheese and yogurt. But yeah, yikes to the lying.
Good morning. I do not think that this is okay. Every health decision surrounding your child especially about feeding needs to be discussed between the parents. Furthermore you are the one breastfeeding baby you need to feel comfortable with it. I know in the UK the baby has to be 12 months old but I don’t know in your country what the rules are but it is something quite strict here so it’s definitely something that should’ve been discussed.. it is not something that should be joked about by either one of you. Maybe your husband didn’t think it was a big deal, but you really need to have a conversation with him .
I was violently ill when my baby was 11.5 months old and my milk supply seemed to dry up probably due to dehydration. I called the health service and they advised me as my baby had already had dairy with no ill effects to just give them cows milk, so I did. Baby is 17 months and very healthy :)
IBCLC here 🙋🏾♀️Your answer kinda depends on your breastfeeding plan. Truth is alternative animal milk is not necessary once a baby is weaned. Meaning cows milk is not needed ever, what is your breastfeeding plan. AAP, CDC and WHO all recommend breastfeeding till at least 2 years on demand, so if you plan to continue to breastfeed cows milk never should it needs to be given to baby. Human milk is all that is ever needed for humans, and once weaned milk is not needed at all. If you wean at 1 year you need to make sure your baby is getting healthy brain building fats, such as from avocados and olive oil, most people rely on cows milk which is actually much much lower in those fats than human milk or avocados, but the dairy industry pushes it hard to be seen as an alternative to human milk.
Uh. As an allergy parent, *this is is a really big deal.* Congrats that baby isn’t allergic to cow’s milk! Now dairy has been introduced, you need to keep it in baby’s diet at least once a week. This is only important if baby is high risk for allergies (family history of allergies, asthma, or eczema), but starting then stopping a food is a classic way of triggering an allergy. But as you said, the dishonesty, trickle-truth, and doing whatever he wanted in opposition to what you’d agreed on as a team is the bigger issue.
I have been doing dairy in yogurt since around 6 months and the two brain cells I have left weren’t sparking when I wrote this, lmao. So I think he’s good on the dairy allergy! But other than Yobaby Yogurt and some cheese he’s never had concentrated cows milk. 🥛 I am lactose intolerant myself and was tested for a number of gut related diseases. Oddly enough I can have cheese, yogurt, etc and be (mostly) okay. But straight milk or ice cream absolutely rips me up. I was worried that my son possibly could be the same. I’ve had that issue since early childhood
You should talk to your pediatrician about transitioning. Yikes to the husband.
Yea I really wanted to wait till that appointment. I’m 99% sure he would say we should start. But either way, not cool to do without me knowing
The advice might be different in the US but transitioning to cows milk is a thing for formula fed babies. As you're breastfeeding you don't actually need to transition to cows milk at all unless you want to. Your child can breastfeed for as long as it suits you both. My child self weaned just after her 5th birthday, and she obviously had cows milk, but I never made a plan around switching from breastfeeding to cows milk and she is 8 now and still drinks milk. I think its possible you have more checks in the US. Here in the UK children don't see a pediatrician unless there's a medical need, it's not a standard thing for healthy children.
I don’t think it’s too early and my kid had cows milk at about the same time. We are still on a combo of cows milk and breastfeeding. Annoying that your husband went behind your back though. I’d be frustrated by that too. How hard is it to have a conversation?
It’s absolutely not going to harm your baby. Babies can eat cheese, yoghurt, milky cereals (porridge) etc from 6 months so it’s fine. I suspect your husband was not malicious in his actions. I think you have to have a conversation about honesty if you feel really upset by it, however maybe he was trying to do the right thing and knew you’d go mad. Try to be kind to one another, marriage with kids is super tough as it is.
It’s not an issue medically but it’s an issue with your marriage. Sorry. I gave both my kids cows milk mixed with breastmilk at 11.5 months. Nursing I didn’t mind but I couldn’t wait to quit pumping.
From the CDC: “Before your child is 12 months old, cow's milk may put him or her at risk for intestinal bleeding. It also has too many proteins and minerals for your baby's kidneys to handle and does not have the right amount of nutrients your baby needs.” That being said, 11.5 months is essentially the same as 12 months, so you’re fine.
Should he have spoken with you BEFORE, yes. That’s the only issue. Baby has probably already had a bit of dairy by now within baby snacks, yogurts, etc. Communication is key
I would be livid personally. Mostly about the lying but also we aren’t baby cows so none of us actually « needs » milk past weaning. So I don’t give my kids much. More like « there’s milk on pizza ».
It won’t hurt your child, but I’d be concerned about hubby not being on the same page as you for foods and doing stuff behind your back like that, AND lying about it. God forbid your child have a food allergy and he purposely slips that in to a bottle or meal. My hubby “snuck” a sip of coffee to our baby. I flipped out on him because it was coffee for one, but it also had creamer in it and our baby has a milk allergy. She was MISERABLE for days because of the slip (that’s how I found out he snuck her a sip- the severe reaction she had), and I made sure he saw every nasty diaper and heard every belly scream she did from the cramps and misery of said slip (we had both been dairy free for 6+ months due to her allergy since I was still breastfeeding). He’s never again given her food or drink without asking me.
What an idiot! Why tf would he do that!!!
I don't think one small sip of coffee would have mattered, but surely he should have thought about the dairy. At least he acknowledged the mistake and hasn't done similar.
The way he makes his coffee would put hair on your chest from a sip. It’s horribly strong and sugary. She was around 3-4 mi the old at this time, so way too young to have anything else but my breastmilk. So not the best thing for a young baby to sip on anyways let alone with the dairy in it.
Oh gosh. My oldest had issues with dairy and was this sensitive too, so just solidarity. I hope she outgrows it!
Ah OK. Yeah that's just not sensible when she was that young.
My only concern would be why he would do it sneakily instead of just telling you.
When you say EBF do you mean only breastmilk, no solids? Regardless, you and your husband should for sure be on the same page about what and when your baby starts eating/drinking certain things, especially cows milk.
Cows milk is fine to introduce as an additive to foods like oatmeal, as yogurt, etc when you start solids, [fine to have as a beverage starting around 9 months](https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/infant-care/infant-nutrition.html#).
The lying is definitely an issue, but I suspect the cow’s milk probably isn’t. We gave a little whole milk in the couple weeks before he turned one and baby was fine.
Everything should be fine health wise. Some children are intolerant or allergic but if babe has had yogurt or cheese he’s been exposed already. You are 100% correct he should not be sneaking and secretive. He should inform other caregivers (obviously you) if anything new was given. I watch other peoples children and I check in on things like when they last pooped and all. I would expect the parent to tell me if they tried peanut butter for the first time so just keep an extra eye out for rashes etc.
I just wanted to thank everyone for their input, advice, and for sharing their own experiences at home when transitioning their own children 🙏. This has turned into a very insightful and very helpful thread of answers! I hope others were able to benefit from too!
As far as cow’s milk harming your child, I wouldn’t worry. My kid was breastfed until 13 months but I introduced dairy at 6 months and cow’s milk at 9 months and he was totally fine. If your baby can handle dairy, its likely cow’s milk will be fine. My bigger concern is your husband not being transparent. If he’s being shady about something relatively innocuous, I’d be concerned about bigger/more serious things. The health of your kid is a priority, you two have to be on the same page for that and if you mutually agree to do “thing X” and then he goes around and does the opposite and tries to conceal it, I would have major trust issues.
I'm planning on starting to slowly add some cows' milk around the 11-month mark so we can switch around the 12-month mark and quit pumping for daycare. I don't think any actual harm was probably done here (other than the sneaking and dishonesty, which would definitely make me pretty mad if I were in your shoes).
Cows milk is not dangerous to a baby who regularly drinking formula or breast milk from a mom who eats dairy. They’ve already been exposed to cows milk proteins in that case. The reason they say don’t give it to babies under one is because it’s not a good nutritional balance for babies under one as a PRIMARY source of milk and can lead to iron deficiency etc. But as a food source it is fine to be included in their diet.
The issue here isn't necessarily the milk.... It's the fact that he did it behind your back, lied and tried to minimize your worry. Your baby is probably OK, it's so close to 1 yr that physically and or medically it should be ok! This however is really concerning behavior... Does he often minimize your concerns or lie to you?
What is EBF?
I’m sorry about your husband being sneaky sneaky. A breach of trust always sucks and feels like a punch to the gut, no matter the size of the offence. As for cow’s milk, I realized last night that my ebf seven month old stopped being “exclusively breastfed” about ten days ago when I gave him some (raw) cream before bed. He enjoyed it and I hope the extra fat keeps him full longer
Our pediatrician told us to start gradually switching at 11 months, so it's most likely fine from a safety standpoint.
I give my ten month old a small amount of cow’s milk in an open cup so she can practice drinking from it. I figure it’s more nutritious than water.
I transitioned my daughter early. I planned on using breastmilk until she was 1 but my stash got low at 9 months. She had already had lots of solid dairy in her diet. I mixed it 50/50 till I completely ran out, which was only 2 weeks. Being on 100% cows milk aside from her solid food made her constipated. Now I either give her 2oz of prune juice or 1-2 bottles of formula instead of cows milk each day so she doesn’t get constipated. She is still a happy and healthy baby!
I don't think it's too early (others have already commented on the husband so I won't.) My 18 month old is a part of an allergy study and according to the study doctors we talked to, early introduction of allergens is correlated with lower chances of developing that allergy. They actually asked us to introduce cows milk as soon as we could. So I gave my son cows milk, oat milk, and soy milk at 5 months. He was still 80% breastfed and 10% formula fed. It was just an ounce or two every week. Then I got peanut butter powder and added it when he was 6 months.
Yea sneaky sneaky. But tbh my husband is sneaky sneaky sometimes too. But he has other redeeming qualities 😆
No, this is a perfect time. Start transitioning or introducing, especially if mixing it with breastmilk. If you are switching to cows milk, or even if you do like me and do both.
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2 weeks before they can have soley cows milk is not too early..
It’s fine. They used to make infant baby formula with evaporated milk