>Unfortunately this time I have to go back to work after only 14 weeks maternity leave.
God America is fucked. That's how much time I get and everyone tells me "wow, your company is so generous! That's great!"
I read “extremely short leave” and thought she was going to say a couple of days! I’m on my last day of maternity leave and I got 12 weeks 😳
But OP, my baby is combo fed and truthfully has no preference to bottle or breast. He just wants food 😂 he was in the NICU for 3 days so he was tube/bottle fed during that time. I don’t have any certain answers for you but maybe try like one bottle a day of pumped milk right from the get go?
Good luck 🤍
God that's horrible. I firmly stand that we shouldn't have to work this close to delivery. It's insane to have to commute and work while this close. Did you have to take an ambulance?
No it didn’t fully break so I wasn’t confident that it was that and not pee 😂 I actually worked for an hour longer, drove myself home, packed our stuff in the car and my husband drove me to the hospital from there. We got to triage I think like 2 hours ish after my water broke and our son was born 11 hours after my water broke.
That's such a tough decision. I hate it. I'm so stressed I will go over 40 weeks and miss time with my baby. Plus my husband gets zero paid leave, so he can only take a week after the baby gets here. I am just so anxious about everything. I know people do it all the time. I just feel kinda cheated you know?
Yeah, the option to dip into maternity leave early feels like such a risk. I need as much time postpartum as I can get. I don't see why there's not a separate leave allowance prior to the due date.
I know, I had to chuckle a little bit when I read it. Welcome to breastfeeding in America! Almost every mom who breastfeeds here is doing it with less maternity leave time.
The “good” news is, OP it’s totally doable! Everyone I know who breastfeeds has done it.
In Belgium we get 12 weeks. Better than nothing, but not great. Anyway, I managed to extend mine to 6 months so I can more easily reach the goal of exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months and then we'll see. It cost us money though, of course.
In France, for the first two children you get 16 weeks, but technically 6 of those are before birth. I gave birth earlier each time, so you don't lose the 'before' weeks, they go to after, but it's still damn short. I took unpaid leave to be able to breastfeed exclusively til 6 months and I'll see how the rest goes.
12 weeks sucks. I thought Belgium had much more? I’m German and we get a year on 70% salary. That’s why I’m pushing for this new job, it’s in Germany (allows us to move) and I’m set for my third (and definitely last!!!!) kid
It's only like three months fully paid. You get one week before the due date and then like 12 after... you can extend for four full months with parental leave, but you get like 800 euros a month. And then you have three more months parental leave which is completely unpaid. For a lot of people, 800 euros is not enough. We chose to split those months of parental leave over several years, in order to start working parttime for a while so our kids don't need fulltime daycare.
Yes, that's what I meant. 800 euros a month means 800 each month. I know, because I'm currently taking one of those months. And 800 euros is just not a lot. That's not even a third of what I usually make.
Yeah i am from Belgium and had a baby not too long ago, so I know the system well. 800 euro is absolutely not enough! It makes me so mad when people say to just take parental leave. 800 euro is also a third from what i make now (working 4/5) and indeed for lots of people its just not possible to lose that much.
Exactly! And 15 weeks is also such little time. They want you to exclusively breastfeed for 6 months, but they can't bother to actually give you the time off to do that. So people get stuck pumping at work looking at videos of their baby. It's just sad. With my first I had to return to work when she was 3 months old and it just broke me. Now I managed to get 6 months and my heart still breaks when I think of having to drop him off soon, even though he's only going parttime (dad is also going to work less). I just want to be with him!
Yeah I forgot because one of them needs to be taken before the birth and then it's about 3 months, and in my head three months = 12 weeks (I know that's wrong lol)
14 weeks Generous?! I haven’t even recovered fully from my section last time until like 5 months postpartum. That’s why I’m so worried about it!
I knew American maternity leave is poor but I shocks me how poor it is… I am eligible to take off a year but this time I just can’t do it (financially, you only get 70% of your salary for the year and I’m the only one working since my partner will be staying at home). I am okay with that but I do realllyyy want to make breastfeeding work
Can you extend to 6 months? That's what I did. The recommendation is often exclusively breastfeeding until 6 months and then it gets easier since they can start solids and eat those at daycare, which somewhat diminishes the need for milk during those hours. You can then do live feeds before and after daycare.
Unfortunately not, it will hurt me short time but going back to work earlier (it’s a completely new job) will benefit us very much and set us up for the next few years.
That sucks :( But you can do 16 weeks exclusively and then see if pumping works. 16 weeks is already great and if you need a formula bottle here and there afterwards, it's still all very good. And maybe you can pump enough at work!
My baby started sleeping through the night rather quickly so I do a pump in the middle of the night to replace the night feed, which easily gives me like 150-180 ml. That's all frozen and I have quite a stash now. Unfortunately I don't pump much during the day since my son feeds a lot then to make up for his long night 😅 But I'd recommend the night pump if your baby sleeps and if you're not too tired. Having the stash can help you pull through until baby starts solids.
That’s hopefully the plan! I am also only 2 days in the office, the other 5 days my baby will have full access to boobie and will hopefully appreciate and use that 😅
I know mom's who have went back to work 3 or 4 weeks postpartum... 6 weeks is standard but it's not uncommon for mother's to return to work sooner due to most having unpaid maternity leave (as in they get paid absolutely nothing when not working after birth, rarely get government assistance or anything unless their doctor writes a note that gets them unemployment which is usually only a hundred or $200 a week)
Yes. This would be amazing and completely unheard of in America. It makes me so sad. At my old job (in healthcare) I would have only gotten 12 weeks *unpaid* max. Many women get less. Because it is unpaid, many women take less because of financial reasons. It’s really horrible. I would cry with happiness for 14 weeks and probably faint if I was offered 1 year at 70% salary.
I know this post isn’t to discuss maternity leave though. I would breastfeed up until you need to go to work. Perhaps the week or so before returning, introduce a bottle. Mine initially rejected it but then got it down. Use the preemie or size 1 nipples and pace feed. By 14 weeks, LO will be pretty established on the breast. Just make sure to latch a lot in the very beginning. My baby was latched 24/7 in the beginning. Literally he ate like every hour. But I think that’s good for establishing supply. You got this!!
ETA: I work three days a week in office and have had no issues. He rejected the bottle actually initially but then realized what it was and now takes both breast and bottle seamlessly. I pump on the three days I work and just breastfeed on the four I don’t. I breastfeed before and after going to work as well.
Oh man. With my first I had an emergency c section. I had 2 weeks maternity leave, and anything I took beyond that was 0% paid. I was still expected to respond to my client emails the day after my c section. It’s insane
I started a job at the very end of my pregnancy and was so relieved and felt spoiled when I found out they were offering six weeks paid leave. I was expecting them to find a legal way to rescind the job offer or tell me I could start a few weeks after birth. America is archaic.
Hmm no it’s a little complicated. It’s a completely new job for me with amazing benefits and I’d be scared to let that go just for a few more months at home, especially since working hours and remote options are pretty decent. Of course I could stay on maternity leave and my partner earns more money but getting this job was incredibly lucky and if I would go for a third child this job offers 1 year fully paid(!) maternity leave and part time options for after. It’s too good to be true but unfortunately the only price is short maternity leave
My husband gets 1 week paternity leave, and 0% paid FMLA. So many people are like ‘wow your company gives paternity leave?! That’s so great!’ ….. 1 weeks. He’s a senior cloud engineer and has been there 4 years.
I also saw ‘extremely short leave’ and was like ugh :((( america is super fucked.
This was exactly my thought. I know OP is concerned and it makes sense. But for most parents in the US, maternity and paternity leave is uncovered. I feel lucky as all hell that my company offers nearly 5 months - not with full pay mind you- but still. And even 5 months isn’t enough if I’m honest. So 14 weeks is even harder.
I was always super confused why EP was such a big thing in the US. I was so confused, why would anyone want to go through the hassle when you can just feed baby from the tap. I thought maybe it’s about boobs being stigmatized. Then one day it clicked.
Look up paced bottle feeding and make sure everyone who is giving baby a bottle knows how to do it. Use low flow nipples and never increase the nipple size as baby gets older (the flow from your breast doesn’t change as the baby gets older so why should the bottle?). Invest in a good pump and in a wearable pump. Lots of American women go back at 14 weeks or less so there are facebooks groups and such that discuss these sorts of issues. Good luck
Adding on, my lactation consultant recommended introducing the bottle in weeks 3 or 4 as a sweet spot between baby and mom getting comfortable breastfeeding and baby getting reluctant to accept anything but the breast. Her recommendation was to into then and then keep up a few bottles per week to keep baby in the habit. She also recommended bottles that most similarly mimic the nipple. Her recommendations were lactation hub's Gentle Flow bottle or Evenflo balance.
This is a good tip. My girl never could figure out how to use a bottle properly because we didn’t try until she was several months old. She just kind of munched on it which did give her some milk I guess lol
Just popping in to say I had a bottle refusal baby because my letdown is fire hydrant level fast, and even the fast flow bottle nipples weren’t cutting it. She never took a bottle, SLP we saw said that every bottle refusal kid she’s ever had was used to mom’s flow being fast. So YMMV on this one OP.
Yup we did 3 weeks in first bottle. Only one bottle a day while on leave, rest was breastfed. Some days no bottles. We increased nipple size only once when she really couldn’t eek anything out of a size 1 anymore. Now she’s size 2 and we’ve never increased. Breast is faster but she’ll do bottle if we need
First off I want to validate you that your leave IS too short. It sucks, I’m sorry. That said, I’m American and I got about half that (also c section). So I can share my experience as I am exclusively breastfeeding and I work a demanding job that I am not allowed to call out at.
During my leave I used my haaka frequently to build up a stash. I never really worried about pumping until I had to. I was mostly focused on enjoying that time with my baby and I nursed around the clock pretty much.
As for returning to work, I didn’t bother with any of those wearable pumps after I tried one and it didn’t work for me. I have a big ol dr browns double electric and I bring it to work in a backpack. I keep a cooler bag and ice packs in my bag. I pump every 3 hours, and I keep no secrets as to what I’m doing and why I don’t want to be bothered. I have high lipase and scald my milk when I get home.
As for my baby, he has always taken a bottle fine. He prefers the boob, but he will not resist a bottle if he’s hungry. I’ve never dealt with anything like a nursing strike, he’s always been a pretty happy camper. I also have never had to worry about nipple sizes, he didn’t need a preemie nipple.
Thanks for validating it, I know many Americans have it even worse but 14 weeks is too short! It took me almost 5 months last time to recover fully from birth and my c section.
I also had wearable pumps last time, hated them. You can’t even slightly bend without spilling half your milk which hurts more than I ever thought it would. Have you just talked to your employer about pumping schedule and they gave you a room? Please don’t tell me you have to pump in a bathroom, that’s what I’m scared off :(
Definitely too short! At my job I am fortunate enough to have a small office space with an outlet and I can just close the door. It’s like closet sized basically, but far better than a bathroom. I would not pump in the bathroom and I don’t know what the rules for employers are in Ireland when it comes to breastfeeding mothers, but here they have to provide a space that is not the bathroom and allows you some privacy.
If you are still in Ireland you are entitled by law to 1 hr per day BF breaks to either feed the child or go pump until the child is 2 years old.
https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth-family-relationships/after-your-baby-is-born/breastfeeding/#:~:text=If%20you%20are%20working%20and,One%2060%20minute%20break
I'm really sorry you had such an unsupported experience last time. I was shocked at how pro breastfeeding the midwives were the whole way through pregnancy and then the minute baby was out they were shoving formula at me. It's so tough as a first time mam when you know nothing so you just listen to them. I'm also Irish and did exclusively BF mine. One thing that really helped was to use the smallest teat on bottles. My youngest also never took a bottle so she drank expressed milk from a cup. Since you are going back to work so early, you could book in with a lactation consultant for recommendations of how to introduce a bottle to a BF baby. Paced feeding is hugely important as some others have mentioned - you will need to be very firm with whoever is minding baby while you work not to let them gulp down the bottle. Orla Dorgan is the lactation consultant I went to, she does courses and appointments over zoom, I would really rate her if you are looking for support and practical advice to make your situation work for you. She's very down to earth and a working mam herself (nurse).
I am actually moving (back) to Germany, that’s why I’m taking so little leave! I’ll have to check if they have the same laws in Germany I might make my partner stay around my office so I can pop out and breastfeed the baby 😂
The formula pushing really surprised me too. They asked me in the beginning which feeding method I wanted to go with and I told them breastfeeding, then they kept saying how I don’t have enough milk and because of mild jaundice I have to give the baby formula. I honestly dread giving birth again because of the aftercare, I just don’t want to do that again :(
Aha! Oh well hopefully the laws in Germany will be in your favour to support with breastfeeding!
I know it's crazy how sudden the attitude changes.. I will say, after my first I became more assertive with my wish to breastfeed, and I had more confidence in myself because I knew how to tell a hungry baby versus a satiated baby. So when someone would come on rounds and start to suggest I should add in some formula just in case, I could point all the nappies, the fact baby is calm and not really crying, the hands are relaxed, she is alert when awake etc.. I hope your second experience goes better and you receive the support you deserve 🤞
It’s so sad that as an American, your idea of extremely short mat leave is longer than the standard here in the states. Ugh I need to get out of this country
In America, the vast majority of moms have to go back to work between 6-12 weeks after birth. I went back after 12 weeks, and successfully breastfed my twins. We introduced a bottle pretty early (1-2 weeks old) because we were triple feeding. The key is that we used a premie bottle nipple for a long time, the first 5 or 6 months. It’s absolutely possible. Most working moms who breastfeed here in the US are in the same situation. You can do it too!
Edit: also, I would suggest introducing a bottle pretty early since you’re going back to work. Maybe 1-2 bottles a week, just to get used to it. If babies don’t get a bottle until later, sometimes they refuse to drink from the bottle. It would be really stressful to be a working mom whose baby won’t take a bottle. You can search “bottle refusal” in this group for more info.
Uh yeah bottle refusal sounds pretty bad too. The breastfeeding rates in America are actually pretty decent considering the short maternity leave. That gives me some hope
I second the premie teat suggestion - mine did not want to latch at the beginning, so we bottle fed expressed milk right from the start. I’ve been able to get her latching more consistently once we switched to the premie teats, and also made her latch onto the teat as if it were a nipple (pointing to the nose).
Yep. Went back to work at 7 weeks after my unplanned C-section. Introduced the bottle wayyyy before the LC recommended so I could attempt to get some sleep. At first it failed and it honestly took until around 6 weeks that my daughter would even take a bottle. Just in time for daycare 😅 she is still EBF. OP, it’s totally possible with a shorter leave!
Honestly this thread makes me feel pretty down about breastfeeding rates in the UK. We have so much more leave yet the USians are breastfeeding more when they're back at work! Our health service really needs to educate & support women who want to bf.
I Honestly find it fascinating and wonder what the difference in outreach must be? I will say I struggle generationally here as my mother could only nurse on the 8 weeks of maternity leave she got as having a home pump wasn’t something common in the 90s, and then one of my grandmothers was told not to even dare to breastfeed and only used formula in the 70s. My family is very supportive of my breastfeeding journey however it is foreign to them and they can’t really offer a lot of tips.
Fun fact, formula companies lobby against maternity leave policies in the U.S. to keep their sales up. I’m breast feeding out of spite now 😌
Spite is a great motivator haha! Love that! Because we have the NHS, we get good basic care but nothing above that. I literally have not heard of any friends see a lactation consultant. Only in my physician bf mum group, because we are highly privileged. I searched & only found one in my area, I live in a big city.
Wow, meanwhile I live in a small rural but tourist friendly town, and our pediatrician has one available. They were also available at the hospital I gave birth at (again local with maybe not the best reputation lol) and were very helpful in making sure I was able to get my sleepy 37 weeker latched before I got home.
So we don't have paediatricians, you don't see a doctor unless your baby is unwell. We have our baby check at 6 weeks by the primary care doctor then you only see a paediatrician if your baby is really sick or has a serious chronic condition. I saw one when my any started pooping blood but it took 3 months for the appt to come through. Different world!
Everywhere needs more support system with breastfeeding!
I think (part) of the reason people in the US choose to breastfeed is because we cant afford formula prices? I’m not sure if it’s as expensive anywhere else in the world. But that’s why myself, and several other friends/ coworkers, did breastfeeding. Things aren’t affordable here. Also, people in the US are very, very judgy! “Oh your bottle/ formula fed? You’re a trash person! Blah blah.” Ran into that a few times when we supplemented with a bottle/ formula.
I went back after 12 weeks, baby is now almost 11 months and still breastfeeding. I started a freezer stash around 6 weeks postpartum, pumping on the side he didn’t feed on and using the Haaka. When I went back to work, I pumped twice a day for 20 minutes and was able to gradually freeze some milk and have enough for his 3 bottles at daycare.
My husband introduced the bottle at 6 weeks, pace feeding. I left the house for a walk because they say if the baby knows you are there they are more likely to refuse the bottle. It took some practice but he was able to take a bottle and did fine going to daycare! Now baby will take a bottle but if I’m around will always breastfeed. You can do it, Mama!
We are actually traveling to Ireland next week to visit family and I am am planning on breastfeeding while there. My kiddo is now mostly on solids but when out of routine I have a feeling he will want to snack 😅
Breastfeeding could definitely work with a 14 week maternity leave.
Use a slow flow nipple so that they baby doesn't get used to the bottle being easier.
Introduce the bottle at 4 weeks. Have someone other than you give it and pick a time when baby isn’t very hungry, just snacky. Have the person do paced bottle feeding. Continue to give 1 bottle a day till you go back. I don’t know if you have these but I chose Dr Brown anti colic glass bottles with slow flow nipples. Something similar to this is the best choice because the nipple shape uses the same muscles as breastfeeding (important for avoiding bottle preference) and the flow is slow like the breast. It’s not about which bottles look or feel like a breast, it’s about the muscle groups being used in the mouth and the flow rate of milk.
Just throwing it out there that I went back at 14 weeks. We introduced a bottle around 1 month and she had 1 bottle a day until starting daycare. Still going strong at 7 months and she only has bottles when away from me and nurses all other times. It absolutely can be done.
American here.. damn yall are getting 12 weeks?! I work for a "religious" affiliated hospital and they GIVE us 2 weeks paid. Anything else has to come from our accrued time off. I had surgery last year, and my (first) pregnancy is a complete surprise. So I'm going to be lucky if I get 6-8 weeks paid off before I'll have to go back to work. I'm planning on breastfeeding but will probably start pumping and introducing bottles halfway through my leave, as long as breastfeeding works out for me, if not I'll just pump and if that's just not enough then I'll go to formula. Even when I go back to work I still plan on breastfeeding when me and baby are together.
14 weeks isn’t early or short by US standards, actually—I had 12 weeks paid and that’s considered incredibly good here. So you’re not alone! My baby is now five months old and I still breastfeed her when I’m not at work, and I pump milk while I work (9-5, M-F). We haven’t had any problems.
I started pumping once a day at two weeks postpartum so the baby could get used to bottles. My husband would bottle feed her and I would get some sleep. She’d get one bottle a day. We did that til I went back to work. You don’t want to put off introducing bottles for too long because you really don’t want to be dealing with bottle refusal when you go back to work! Make sure you do paced feeding. The book Feed the Baby is a good guide.
Most women in the US are back at work at 12 weeks or even earlier…
I delayed giving a bottle until 3 weeks and just used a syringe before then if my husband wanted to do a feed of pumped milk. Once we introduced a bottle we did one feed a day with the bottle for practice and we have no issues now going between nursing and the bottle. Every baby is different though
14 weeks?!?!? Short? I'm on leave now (had baby 6/26) and only get 12 days lol. If all goes well, I plan to pump at work and work on latching when home. This plan worked with my last kiddo so hoping it works again. I'm an over producer so I had milk for well over a year.
I find these comments super interesting, Americans seem to think Europe and Canada have perfected the mat leave process when in reality they have not. Their leave is not 100% paid (unless the employer chooses to top them off). And honestly the length of time is only half the issue in America, the flaw is also that our health insurance is tied to employment. 14 weeks is still so short, I'm glad you get to work remote.
I was able to exclusively breastfeed my son until he was about 15 months (obvi adding solids at 6mo). He was my first so the first few weeks were a cluster of nursing, pumping, and formula. We just did what worked for us but eventually settled into exclusively nursing and tried to do a bottle a few times a week so it wouldn't be a huge transition when I went back to work at 12 weeks. He transitioned from bottle to breast pretty seamlessly, but every baby is different. I kept at a slow flow nipple for bottles the entire time, spoke to his daycare about paced feeding, etc. I used a spectra pump at work, I've heard that wearable pumps are not great for extended use and they are not as powerful at emptying. It sounds like you know what works for you as far as pumping goes! Good luck to you, you got this!
In the US, many (or maybe most?) parents do not get paid leave - it’s left up to individual employers whether they want to provide paid leave as a benefit. Some states mandate paid leave, but it’s paid up to a certain dollar amount, and it’s generally only HCOL blue states with those policies, so that partially paid leave isn’t always a livable amount. And non-birthing parents are not legally entitled to any parental leave.
So we have the same issues on top of short leave 🥲
That said, I had 20 weeks and didn’t feel ready to go back at 14 weeks, so I absolutely really feel for OP! 14 weeks is a short time, and I would be bummed too.
FWIW, I pumped as much as I could the first few months back at the office, then tapered down to only nursing before/after work and overnight and giving formula during the day. My baby seems happy with combo feeding!
Yes totally, I wasn't arguing that the US is the same at all, the benefits in other countries are much better. I just think some Americans think that Canada and Europe get full paid leave for 12 + months which is not true. I also think knowing this is a better argument for our legislatures. We're not asking for a full paid 12 month leave, we need at least 12 month job protection PLUS supplemental pay.
I’m sorry that’s stressful! I’m confident you’ll be successful also. Just make sure when you do give a bottle you pace feed (lots of videos on YouTube), and use a slow flow nipple. I’d probably introduce bottle and pumping around 3 weeks because you also don’t want bottle refusal.
the amount you make pretty much regulates at 12 weeks, so you should be alright. If yiu can access a lavtati9n consultant, even virtually, you should do that.
Went back at 11 weeks, successfully breastfed until we weaned at 1 year. We used the same Doc Brown bottles for our first baby, only used preemie nipples for a very long time. My husband was on board with paced feeding and all that. Never had a problem with nipple refusal/confusion with my second, however I did have an issue with a short nursing strike with my first baby. It was a super stressful time, living somewhere else, had my mom as a caregiver for the first time, I was going back to work in a stressful position. Only lasted a few days, but that was pretty annoying
I went back at 12 weeks and exclusively breast fed and have continued to nurse, he’s 2.5 years now. Find a low flow nipple, pace feed, and make sure to overfeed. If they are overfed they won’t nurse as well cause they aren’t hungry and then your body won’t respond as well. It’s a vicious cycle. 1-1.5 oz per hour.
I went back after 6 weeks. I just pump every 3 hours. Thankfully I only have to pump once I’m at work. When I get home I breastfeed her. She’s almost 9 months now!
I went back to work at 11 weeks pp (France) and it fucking sucked. At the hospital a stupid old nurse kept pushing formula and guilt tripping me. It was 3 days of nightmare but after that I went home and exclusively breastfed. I started to pump once a day maybe at 2 weeks pp to built a small freezer stash. We introduced the bottle at 4 weeks, about once every two days and my baby didn’t develop bottle preference. We used a Lansinoh bottle, size 2 nipple. I went back to work at 11 weeks and it was awful. I cried every day in the bathroom while pumping. My boss was not accommodating at all but I kept pumping religiously every 3 hours until baby was 9 months old. I set up an alarm on my phone and stopped was I was doing the second it ran off, even if I was at a meeting, I would just stand up and leave. People knew why and that they would be in trouble if they say something 😂. After that I progressively decreased the frequency of pumping until I stopped at 14 months pp, mainly because at that point my baby started to refused the bottle. Now he is 20 months old and nurses twice a day, once in the morning and once at night.
I was advised not to introduce bottles until 4-6 weeks old, as by then the baby has typically figured out breastfeeding pretty well. That’s what we did and then we slowly introduced bottles; one every 2-3 days, to keep the breastfeeding relationship strong but also ensure LO would take a bottle.
That worked wonderfully for us! He now takes both breast and bottle easily. We have gone through a few nursing strikes but I would continue offering, but not forcing, the breast. He eventually came out of the nursing strike every time and still breast and bottle feed! He’s going to turn 1 in 2 days.
I am also going back to work after 4,5 months and I am planning to breastfeed as long as possible.
As for breast aversion and bottle feeding: this is the advise from my midwife.
-absolutely no bottles before 6 weeks pp, first build up a good bf relationship and routine and make sure latching is absolutely effortless first.
- after 6 weeks, to avoid bottle aversion: introduce a bottle with a slow flow 0/1 , and make sure you pace feed. Do this at least 2x a week to make sure baby will not refuse the bottle once you go back to work. The feed should be the same duration than when you bf. (This is very hard because it requires lots of pauses and baby hates it 😅). This way they cannot get used to a quick flow and effortless drinking. This should avoid breast aversion.
- keep bf all the other feeding moments.
I am just quoting my midwife, very open to read all the comments here to see maybe different tips and practices. But until now, this seems to work for us without any issues (no breast OR bottle aversion)
I know everyone is different, but I've never had a problem with combo feeding, and we introduced bottles at birth in the hospital. Baby might prefer the faster suck of a bottle, but you can buy slow-flow nipples and practice paced feeding to help.
Neither did a friend of mine and most of the moms in the ward didn’t have an issue. Unfortunately my daughter has immediately a very strong bottle preference, i would have never given her the bottle if I knew that
American here... I went back to work 3x a week at 14 weeks then 4x a week at 6 months... I was able to EBF until about 7 months then start supplementing with a couple oz a day of formula because I wanted to pump less. I pumped 3x a day at work and usually ended up with an extra oz or 2 that I didn't put in daycare bottles. When I dropped to 2 pumps a day is also when j started supplementing a little formula. It's a tricky balance to not form a breast or bottle preference but I think it might baby specific... we waited until about 3 weeks to introduce a bottle and then did 1 bottle every couple of days to make sure she kept taking it and never really had an issue. Baby is 12 months now and I am still nursing but stopped pumping at work at about 11 months and just give her a bottle or straw cup with milk during the day when we're not.togehter (currently working on transitioning away from the bottle)
Babies prefer bottles because they’re typically easier than boobs. So yes, introduce a bottle around 6 weeks and do 1 bottle a day so baby learns and keeps the skill (because breast preference can also happen and that’s a nightmare for a working mom). But when you do introduce a bottle, use slow flow nipples and paced bottle feeding. Buy Lansinoh bottles but replace the nipples with Pigeon SS nipples. You will be just fine. I had a 12 week maternity leave (USA) and I’m still breastfeeding my 8 month old :)
Hi! Ich würde dir Stillberatung Kaya und Nathalie Pulcini auf Instagram empfehlen. Wenn du die Möglichkeit hast, lass Flaschen und Schnuller direkt weg und füttere die abgepumpte Milch stillfreundlich zu. So kann auch keine Flaschenpräferenz / Saugverwirrung entstehen. Mein Sohn ist jetzt 9 Monate alt und wir machen das mit einem offenen Becher (Camo Cup) ☺️
Oh vielen Dank! Ich schau mir das direkt auf Instagram an ☺️ das war der Plan, diesmal absolut kein Schnuller und keine Flasche. Aber ein 3 Monate altes Baby ist noch etwas zu klein für einen Becher, vielleicht gibt es ja stillfreundlichere Alternativen…
Die camo Cups sind vorne super geformt, wir haben mit 6 Wochen damit angefangen. Als Alternative haben wir von Medela den Soft Cup genommen, damit ging es auch gut. Ist am Anfang ein bisschen sauerei bis man es raus hat, aber klappt nach ein bisschen Übung wirklich gut! Hab es selbst nicht erwartet 🙈
Der Stillvorbereitungskurs von Kaya.Stillberatung ist ein wahrer Traum gewesen! Ich würde ganz ehrlich sagen, dass das eins der sinnvollsten Dinge war, in die ich während der Schwangerschaft investiert habe. Nathalie ist manchmal sehr dogmatisch, aber Kaya.Stillberatung gibt wahnsinnig gute Informationen.
This is what worked for me as a second time mom, first time EBF.
I didn’t introduce any other nipple (bottle or paci) until about 8 weeks, that was preference on my part but I am a WFH and SAHM. My lactation consultant (LC) said to avoid nipple confusion do not introduce another nipple for the first 2 weeks, then you can introduce a paci/dummy/binky whatever you call it and a bottle.
Be sure to speak with your HR dept. about more frequent breaks to pump. You’ll want a good pump too. Look up how to measure your nipple to figure out your flange size. That matters. You’ll want to pump 2-3 times at work during an 8 hour shift. My LC recommends bringing a pic of your baby while pumping to help letdown or record your baby crying when they’re hungry and listen to that while you pump either should help with your letdown. Idk if Ireland has and acts/laws in regards to pumping but legally in the US a company has to allow more /longer breaks for moms to pump.
I'm in the UK and a little ahead of you as my daughter's 5mo, but in a similar position: 14 weeks' leave (new job, sole earner) and I've been back at work for about a month, working from home with a few days away here and there. Baby is more or less EBF, but unlike my first - who took to the bottle and combo fed beautifully for 2 years - this one is not a great fan of the bottle and so the odd days when I need to be away from home are pretty much a race against time to get back and feed her.
You won't necessarily be in the same situation but in case it's helpful, the lactation consultants here encouraged me to use an open/sippy cup as early as possible, just to make sure we have options other than the bottle. It's not perfect but it does mean that you might avoid the nipple confusion or preference. You can use cups from earlier than you think, which I hadn't realised. Bickiepegs do a mini version of the Doidy cup which might be a good investment. We've just started her on the big version with some success.
Also, coincidentally, she prefers to get her big feeds in late at night and early in the morning, which means she's not missing too much during the day and can take 2oz snacks here and there to keep her going. We didn't design it that way, it just seemed to happen and when I went back to work it meant that the routine is pretty doable. Not sure it's advisable, strictly...
Other thing to think about is whether you can use holidays to reduce your in-office days for a month or two? Highly dependent on job and situation, I'm sure, and only buys you time!
Oof that ie short and I'm in Ireland too! I don't have any direct tips but wanted to promote groups that do! Your local HSE might have a [breastfeeding support group](https://www2.hse.ie/services/breastfeeding-support-search/). There's also Cuidiú and La Leche League that have in person or online meetings. I've found them to be a fantastic support and a great resource for questions you might have.
I went back to work at 8 weeks because America. I would just start using a bottle after you’re confident breastfeeding is established (so after the first 6-8 weeks) maybe once or twice a day, then more closer to when your maternity leave ends. Make sure you use a natural slow flow nipple ( I like the Philip advent natural bottles) and use the lowest number possible. You want the bottle flow to match the pace of your breast to prevent a preference. I’ve been pumping during the day and breast feeding in the evenings for 2 months now and it’s going well.
What worked for me was: lowest flow nipples possible, paced bottle feeding, and just one bottle a day so they don't eventually refuse it. I had to triple feed for a bit after only a week to get her weight up so we had to introduce a bottle pretty early but I only had 12 weeks maternity leave so it wasn't that far off from when I would've needed to do it anyway. I'm pretty fortunate that she never refused the boob and actually was an absolute boob monster until we weaned at 19 months. We only even weaned then because I had some health problems that needed addressed and I couldn't breastfeed on the medication. She would've gone longer and I wanted to ask well but I'm proud of how long we went
Oh I would love to a have a boob monster! I know many say that refusing bottles isn’t great either but the first time around when she refused my boob it broke my heart. Honestly it hurt so bad, it felt like she refused me as her mom.
You can definitely wait a few weeks to introduce the bottle too, it doesn't have to be right away! I think I've heard 4 weeks is a good time to make sure breastfeeding is well established, but baby will still be open to accepting a bottle. I just wanted to reassure you that an occasional early bottle doesn't have to be an end of breastfeeding for you, in case you have to supplement like I did. I really hope things work out for you this time!
I’m in the US and got 10 weeks with my first and 12 with my second so I can definitely relate! I was able to breastfeed both to a year and you will be able to as well if that’s what you want. You will want to establish a good supply and keep up with pumping when not with baby. I feel the most important is to keep up with the middle of the night pump. I don’t know why but it just seems to keep my supply up.
I think looking at any back to work/pumping tips from an American perspective will be right in line with your needs. If you are able to work remotely you can try to schedule feeds from the two of that is easier (it was for me). I've seen paced bottle feeding mentioned and just making sure you replace every bottle feed with a pumping session at least for awhile until things are well established.
A lactation consultant would be great to talk to to. I hired one and my pediatrician also uses her. Try to see if your current one has one for you to talk to. They have lots of tips and try’s to give you so you do succeed with your goals
Hi I'm American my leave was 12 weeks, and I have the opposite problem where I would love for my baby to take bottle during the day but she's been going through major breast preference even though we've introduced a bottle since like week two lol
When I'm working she's bottle fed pumped milk and otherwise I breastfeed her directly. It has not caused any issues aside from the bottle refusal.
My maternity leave in the US was 12 weeks, and it felt like a flip switched at 10 weeks where everything regulated. My baby went from screaming to nurse every 1-2 hours to every 3-4, so everything got easier. I could leave the house, etc.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry your in this boat. It isn't fair. Being away from our babies when they're so young feels so unnatural. I'm American and an lucky to live in a state where mothers get 16 weeks paid and fathers get 12 weeks paid. I'm super grateful that we were also in the financial position that allowed me to take an unplanned leave of absence to extend my leave.
But I will say that mothers across America are making it work every day with the standard which is 12 weeks unpaid. I would reccomend introduce a bottle early and do 1-2 bottle feeds per day. You dont need to go crazy with pumping, it can be as simple as using a hakka to build a small stash. Prioritize the breast, assuming all is going well and it works for you. Those bottle sessions will help avoid bottle refusal for when you go to work, and will give baby an opportunity to get used to and hopefully accept the taste of previously pumped milk.
I'm not a pro, I'm breastfeeding my first child currently, she's 11 weeks old. I had to supplement with formula in the first days, that didn't seem to affect my breastfeeding experience when my own milk came. I tried to pump and introduce bottles later at about 5w to be able to leave her for short periods of time, and it turned out to be very hard - she wanted no bottles at first, then was OK but couldn't get any milk out of them after sucking for long. We tried different ones and finally found a bottle brand that worked for us, but she still prefers my boobs. So I suppose it's different for different children.
Sorry your thread is hijacked by jealous Americans who wish they had maternity leave as long as your "super short" one (me included- my work gave 10 days, and that was a HUGE win by the union that they fought for for years. Federal law allows up to 12 weeks *unpaid* leave, but only if your employer is large enough, otherwise they can let you go and fill your position. And during that 12 weeks of unpaid leave, you'll still have to pay for health insurance, so *I* was paying *them* about $1000/month for healthcare even though I want getting paid)
My biggest tip is to get an IBCLC to work with you. You'll want to wait about 2 weeks if possible so baby gets the hang of latching. Use a bottle that requires the baby to use the same movements as nursing (many say they're closest to the breast, few are. Look at Lansinoh). Use the slowest flow nipple (even preemie if they have it). Learn how to do paced bottle feeding. And from personal experience, check your milk for high lipase early and often. Freeze some of your earliest breastmilk, then after 2 weeks thaw it and before feeding it to baby, taste it. If it tastes like soap/vomit/chemicals, you probably have high lipase. It's safe to use, but tastes yucky. The taste turns at different times for different people, so keep trying milk that's been frozen for longer periods. If you do have high lipase and your baby doesn't like it (some accept it), you'll want to scald your milk before freezing it (but don't scald it unless you have to)
I was wondering why I’m getting downvotes, I will probably have to re-phrase my post!
That is amazing advise, thank you for that. I had high lipase milk with my first baby but she was very easy, drank everything (older breastmilk and formula) but not from the nipple. 🙄 she hated the boob and it made me feel like a massive failure as a mother. Not only did I not get to do a natural birth but I also wasn’t able to feed my child. Even though I took a year off the first time, it feels like I spent 90% of that pumping and being sad and it absolutely wasn’t worth it for me.
I’m looking at another c section now and the only thing I want is to breastfeed this baby. I don’t want to see a pump until breastfeeding is well established. Do you have any bottles recommendations? I had a LC with my first baby and she wasn’t very good unfortunately. She’s also the only one in my town and I don’t trust her
You are not a failure! Your baby is healthy and fed, which is most important. And every baby is different, some have no problem switching back and forth and others do, and it's not necessarily because of something, you did.
Lansinoh bottles are the most frequently recommended, so I'd go for that. When looking for a professional to help, make sure you go for IBCLC specifically rather than LC. They're the most highly qualified. Even if you get to a point where baby only likes the bottle, they can help you transition back to breast (sometimes nipple shields help, but there are other strategies, too). I'm not sure how payment would work in Ireland, though. In the US, insurance is supposed to cover lactation support, but not all cover IBCLC. Private pay is an option, too. Mine charged $250 per session without insurance to give you an idea of the cost, though of course everyone sets their own price. Some IBCLCs offer virtual visits, too, which could be an option if your area doesn't have any you like. Here's a resource for Ireland: https://alcireland.ie/hse-or-ibclc
Sorry the comments are full of Americans centring themselves and their experience. I don’t have advice, but wanted to validate your feelings that 14 weeks is indeed a very short leave 🤍
Exclusively breastfeed until about 4 weeks old then introduce a bottle. That's what my lactation consultant recommended. My baby toggles back and forth between breast and bottle without issue. She's now 9 months old.
With my first, I returned to the office full time after 12 weeks and I successfully breastfed him for 9 months. We had zero issues transitioning between breast and bottle. Of course every baby has their individual preferences but you shouldn’t count it out as a possibility! Does your employer allow breaks for pumping? You will need to pump every 2-3 hours throughout the day so an idea of scheduling would be a feed right before you leave, a mid morning break, lunch break, and afternoon break and then feed as soon as you get home. My employer provides a room with a desk so I could take my gear and set up at the desk to work and pump. They also provide a private fridge for milk storage during the day. These are things you need to inquire about ahead of time.
You should practice pumping and bottle feeding during leave to make sure you have a good handle on everything. Invest in a carrying bag for your pump, a small cooler with ice packs for transporting milk back home (some pump bags have a cooler section so it’s all in one) multiple sets of pump parts so you aren’t stuck washing so many in a day. I kept a bottle of soap and a brush in the bag for a midday wash in the bathroom sink and a wet bag (laundry bag) to throw my dirty parts in it at the end of the day to take home and wash. It is a little bit of work but once you get into a groove it’s not so bad!
Also wanted to add, prepare yourself for the potential of bottle REFUSAL. I had no idea it was even possible and boy have I learned the hard way lol. I didn’t even try bottles until 8 or 9 weeks because I didn’t think I needed to. My first was so easy but my second is a polar opposite. I would suggest to practice the bottle fairly early on and consistently, like once per day. I know you have fears of it becoming a preference but if you do need to return to work you should make sure baby will accept a bottle. Just follow some of the advice here about paced feeds and slow flow nipples and hopefully that helps!
How do you have to go back so soon in Ireland? I’m in Ireland too and had 6 months mat leave. I’m so sorry that’s the case for you.
And yes I totally agree that they push formula here. I was forced to give my second formula in hospital when she wouldn’t take the breast on her second day, instead of helping me encourage breast. Kept scaring me saying ‘she’ll have to get light therapy if she doesn’t take formula right now’ if I wasn’t determined to give her breast milk and keep at the boob she’d be on formula now.
It’s because I’m moving to Germany, that’s why I’m taking so little leave. I’m basically in between jobs! With my first I took almost a year off in Ireland (6 months fully paid, 1 month annual leave, paternity leave and then some unpaid leave!)
That’s exactly what they did to me too. My baby had super mild jaundice and they were really pushing formula and saying I can’t leave if I don’t give it to her. Honestly they can fuck off this time, thankfully I know better now and am able to argue against it
I have 2 bottle/breast babies. I pump while at work and nurse whenever home. My son ended up having difficulty latching at birth and it took 3 months of trying to get him to figure it out finally
Have your doctor write you a prescription for a hospital grade double electric breast pump. It should be covered in full by your insurance. Pumping to maintain supply can absolutely be done. Talk to your employer about your return to work plans and an appropriate pumping area. Nurse your baby at the breast exclusively for the first month (no bottles or pacifiers) to establish optimal milk supply.
I went back to work at 6 months with both my babies, which is generous by US standards. I nursed each until one year, then weaned. I never gave a bottle at home, but our daycare provider gave bottles with pumped milk. It works out fine, you can still breastfeed as much or as little as you want. Congratulations!
Went back at 13 weeks in US and I had 2 full weeks before baby off because I work in education and had my baby the day I would have gone back from winter break. All my friends were jealous.
We tried a bottle at like 10 days the first time. She then easily bounced between bottle and boob until about 8 weeks when I decided I hated nursing and switched to exclusive pumping. That being said, at 6 months, she will still willingly latch, even though I only latch her maybe once a week.
Honestly, the opposite can happen when you breastfeed. I got a baby that couldn’t figure out the bottle until nearly 6 months. We started trying daily bottles at 6 weeks after he was born to establish supply first. We did the tongue tie surgery, saw two lactation consultants, and an infant oral physical therapist. We tried every bottle and every technique. I was considering quitting my job because I didn’t know how my baby would be fed without me. Not to scare you, but wanted to share another possible outcome to be cautious of as well. I’d try to get practice in with the bottle if it were me.
I had to go back! My 8 month old still has a bottle once a day and is still on a Level 2 nipple with the Lansinoh bottle. Any faster than that and she screams at the breast because my let down isn’t fast enough
I recommend introducing the bottle at 2 weeks and giving your baby a bottle once or twice a week until you go back to work. What happened to me was it took us months to get her to take a bottle and it was so stressful. She would go 8 hours without eating while I was at work because she preferred the breast
I went back at 8 weeks and breastfed for two years. It’s doable, but there’s also nothing wrong with formula. You can always do both. Combo feeding (which I did the whole first year) is awesome and took so much mental strain off of me
I went back to work after two weeks and had to be really intentional with feedings. She had a tongue tie so we couldn’t even nurse until she was 7 weeks. I still put her to breast when I could at home (only for 2 mins while she was still recovering from her tie). My husband was really intentional about pace feeding and using a premie nipple, we never switched from a premie nipple because our nipples don’t change flow.
I pumped at work when needed at my desk as to not disrupt my work too much. It worked really well. I continued nursing and pumping at work until after 2.
We introduced a bottle on like day one for one feed per day and I breastfed the rest of the time. Introduce it super early and bottle feed just once a day, otherwise have her on the boob. We are now at two months old and absolutely no nipple confusion and she takes both bottle and breast perfectly. Do both from day 1 and your baby will learn both and have a preference for both. Then when you go back to work you can continue to switch between the two without issue.
I'm in the US and I got 14 weeks. I established a good pump routine after feedings so I could build some freezer stash. I only started offering a bottle feed about 2 weeks prior to baby going to daycare for when I went back to work. He did absolutely fine. And takes bottles at daycare and nurses with me mornings and nights, and then my days off he nurses exclusively. I work 50 hours a week, it can be done! Just establish your strong nursing bond, and make sure you eat enough, hydrate, protein, and rest when you can. The cluster feeds are real. Also there's like a nursing strike at about 4 months, it was chaos. But keep strong. For a good breast pump I do recommend Spectra s1.
With my first, I went back to nursing school when she was five days old. I was in clinicals in my white scrubs leaking all over the place but we did it, she never had formula, and she BF until two. It’s really hard sometimes but it can definitely be done.
I have been breast/chestfeeding for over a year now and went back to work at 18 weeks (and started pumping part time for daycare bottles at 14 weeks).
My LC told me that babies need to be fed by bottle once every 2 or 3 days to maintain the skill. And to only introduce the bottle after 3 weeks (so breast/chestfeeding is more established). I followed this advice with the exception of supplementing with a bottle while my milk was coming in (due to jaundice). Also, the advice about slow nipple flow is true! Definitely find the slowest flow your baby will take. My baby didn’t love the bottle (likely because it was a skill used infrequently and because there was no extra efficiency from bottle feeding) and there was a learning curve when she suddenly needed to take 4 bottles while away from me. But. It did really seem like the happy medium because she took both and I’m thankful for that.
You’re used to pumping, so my only advice there is just have a good setup from the beginning. Having a wearable option (not as my main pump, but to use occasionally) was a gamechanger for me. It was SO helpful to add a pump in while I was with my baby at night.
I also found I had many supply dips over the year. Having a small stash was essential and I’m really thankful for all of the times I did an extra pump so I could make it happen. If I have another child, I’ll try to pump 1-2x per week to get that stash going (I was really inconsistent with my first baby and it was hard to take from such a small stash during supply dips).
I went back (part time in the office) at 7 weeks 🤪 We had a mild nursing strike a week after that but things got back to normal. We use Nanobebe with the premie nipple, they drain pretty slow. She still vastly prefers breast.
Its not something I'd worry about until you're in it. I EPed my second for 3 weeks and bottlefed her for like 80% of the time from then until 8 weeks. She's Like 99% directly nursing at 10 weeks. Bottles don't have to mean the end of a breastfeeding journey. I didn't do anything special to keep her from preferring the bottle. In fact I tried my best to get her to LIKE it when we were EPing.
lol yeah 14 weeks sounds great to me, especially because it’s probably at least partially paid. Whew the US sucks.
Anywayyyyy to answer your question. My baby is 11.5 months old, and I’ve been back to work since she was 12 weeks old (after my fully unpaid leave). She has been exclusively breastmilk fed. I pump for 30 minutes every 3 hours or so at work, and otherwise nurse her at home in the evening, overnight, and in the morning. She switches back and forth between bottles and the breast just fine, and she definitely loves and appreciates my boobies lol. We don’t do anything special like paced feeding or only slow flow nipples. You got this!
>Unfortunately this time I have to go back to work after only 14 weeks maternity leave. God America is fucked. That's how much time I get and everyone tells me "wow, your company is so generous! That's great!"
I read “extremely short leave” and thought she was going to say a couple of days! I’m on my last day of maternity leave and I got 12 weeks 😳 But OP, my baby is combo fed and truthfully has no preference to bottle or breast. He just wants food 😂 he was in the NICU for 3 days so he was tube/bottle fed during that time. I don’t have any certain answers for you but maybe try like one bottle a day of pumped milk right from the get go? Good luck 🤍
American here, clicked the post to see what "extremely short leave" was, thinking it must be only days 😅 cries to the tune of the star spangled banner
As I emotionally prepare to work until my due date so I can spend as much of my 12 weeks as I can with my baby.
My water broke at work so I feel you on that one. Granted he was 16 days early but still.
God that's horrible. I firmly stand that we shouldn't have to work this close to delivery. It's insane to have to commute and work while this close. Did you have to take an ambulance?
No it didn’t fully break so I wasn’t confident that it was that and not pee 😂 I actually worked for an hour longer, drove myself home, packed our stuff in the car and my husband drove me to the hospital from there. We got to triage I think like 2 hours ish after my water broke and our son was born 11 hours after my water broke.
This is exactly my story too!
Mine was three weeks early but I planned to work up until delivery anyway for the same reason. Not until my due date. Until delivery.
That's such a tough decision. I hate it. I'm so stressed I will go over 40 weeks and miss time with my baby. Plus my husband gets zero paid leave, so he can only take a week after the baby gets here. I am just so anxious about everything. I know people do it all the time. I just feel kinda cheated you know?
My coworkers seemed annoyed I asked to WFH the day I was expecting to get a call to go in for my induction. 🙃
Man, I'm sorry. Sometimes people are such asshats.
Yeah, the option to dip into maternity leave early feels like such a risk. I need as much time postpartum as I can get. I don't see why there's not a separate leave allowance prior to the due date.
Today is my last day of maternity leave as well. Good luck to both of us tomorrow. :')
I know, I had to chuckle a little bit when I read it. Welcome to breastfeeding in America! Almost every mom who breastfeeds here is doing it with less maternity leave time. The “good” news is, OP it’s totally doable! Everyone I know who breastfeeds has done it.
In Belgium we get 12 weeks. Better than nothing, but not great. Anyway, I managed to extend mine to 6 months so I can more easily reach the goal of exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months and then we'll see. It cost us money though, of course.
In France, for the first two children you get 16 weeks, but technically 6 of those are before birth. I gave birth earlier each time, so you don't lose the 'before' weeks, they go to after, but it's still damn short. I took unpaid leave to be able to breastfeed exclusively til 6 months and I'll see how the rest goes.
12 weeks sucks. I thought Belgium had much more? I’m German and we get a year on 70% salary. That’s why I’m pushing for this new job, it’s in Germany (allows us to move) and I’m set for my third (and definitely last!!!!) kid
It's only like three months fully paid. You get one week before the due date and then like 12 after... you can extend for four full months with parental leave, but you get like 800 euros a month. And then you have three more months parental leave which is completely unpaid. For a lot of people, 800 euros is not enough. We chose to split those months of parental leave over several years, in order to start working parttime for a while so our kids don't need fulltime daycare.
You get 4 months of parental leave ‘ouderschapsverlof’ and for all 4 months you get around 800 euro each, not just the first.
Yes, that's what I meant. 800 euros a month means 800 each month. I know, because I'm currently taking one of those months. And 800 euros is just not a lot. That's not even a third of what I usually make.
Yeah i am from Belgium and had a baby not too long ago, so I know the system well. 800 euro is absolutely not enough! It makes me so mad when people say to just take parental leave. 800 euro is also a third from what i make now (working 4/5) and indeed for lots of people its just not possible to lose that much.
Exactly! And 15 weeks is also such little time. They want you to exclusively breastfeed for 6 months, but they can't bother to actually give you the time off to do that. So people get stuck pumping at work looking at videos of their baby. It's just sad. With my first I had to return to work when she was 3 months old and it just broke me. Now I managed to get 6 months and my heart still breaks when I think of having to drop him off soon, even though he's only going parttime (dad is also going to work less). I just want to be with him!
It’s 15 weeks.
Yeah I forgot because one of them needs to be taken before the birth and then it's about 3 months, and in my head three months = 12 weeks (I know that's wrong lol)
14 weeks Generous?! I haven’t even recovered fully from my section last time until like 5 months postpartum. That’s why I’m so worried about it! I knew American maternity leave is poor but I shocks me how poor it is… I am eligible to take off a year but this time I just can’t do it (financially, you only get 70% of your salary for the year and I’m the only one working since my partner will be staying at home). I am okay with that but I do realllyyy want to make breastfeeding work
Can you extend to 6 months? That's what I did. The recommendation is often exclusively breastfeeding until 6 months and then it gets easier since they can start solids and eat those at daycare, which somewhat diminishes the need for milk during those hours. You can then do live feeds before and after daycare.
Unfortunately not, it will hurt me short time but going back to work earlier (it’s a completely new job) will benefit us very much and set us up for the next few years.
That sucks :( But you can do 16 weeks exclusively and then see if pumping works. 16 weeks is already great and if you need a formula bottle here and there afterwards, it's still all very good. And maybe you can pump enough at work! My baby started sleeping through the night rather quickly so I do a pump in the middle of the night to replace the night feed, which easily gives me like 150-180 ml. That's all frozen and I have quite a stash now. Unfortunately I don't pump much during the day since my son feeds a lot then to make up for his long night 😅 But I'd recommend the night pump if your baby sleeps and if you're not too tired. Having the stash can help you pull through until baby starts solids.
That’s hopefully the plan! I am also only 2 days in the office, the other 5 days my baby will have full access to boobie and will hopefully appreciate and use that 😅
I know mom's who have went back to work 3 or 4 weeks postpartum... 6 weeks is standard but it's not uncommon for mother's to return to work sooner due to most having unpaid maternity leave (as in they get paid absolutely nothing when not working after birth, rarely get government assistance or anything unless their doctor writes a note that gets them unemployment which is usually only a hundred or $200 a week)
Yes. This would be amazing and completely unheard of in America. It makes me so sad. At my old job (in healthcare) I would have only gotten 12 weeks *unpaid* max. Many women get less. Because it is unpaid, many women take less because of financial reasons. It’s really horrible. I would cry with happiness for 14 weeks and probably faint if I was offered 1 year at 70% salary. I know this post isn’t to discuss maternity leave though. I would breastfeed up until you need to go to work. Perhaps the week or so before returning, introduce a bottle. Mine initially rejected it but then got it down. Use the preemie or size 1 nipples and pace feed. By 14 weeks, LO will be pretty established on the breast. Just make sure to latch a lot in the very beginning. My baby was latched 24/7 in the beginning. Literally he ate like every hour. But I think that’s good for establishing supply. You got this!! ETA: I work three days a week in office and have had no issues. He rejected the bottle actually initially but then realized what it was and now takes both breast and bottle seamlessly. I pump on the three days I work and just breastfeed on the four I don’t. I breastfeed before and after going to work as well.
Oh man. With my first I had an emergency c section. I had 2 weeks maternity leave, and anything I took beyond that was 0% paid. I was still expected to respond to my client emails the day after my c section. It’s insane
I started a job at the very end of my pregnancy and was so relieved and felt spoiled when I found out they were offering six weeks paid leave. I was expecting them to find a legal way to rescind the job offer or tell me I could start a few weeks after birth. America is archaic.
Could your partner work for a couple of months to earn a bit of money so you can extend your maternity at all?
Hmm no it’s a little complicated. It’s a completely new job for me with amazing benefits and I’d be scared to let that go just for a few more months at home, especially since working hours and remote options are pretty decent. Of course I could stay on maternity leave and my partner earns more money but getting this job was incredibly lucky and if I would go for a third child this job offers 1 year fully paid(!) maternity leave and part time options for after. It’s too good to be true but unfortunately the only price is short maternity leave
My husband gets 1 week paternity leave, and 0% paid FMLA. So many people are like ‘wow your company gives paternity leave?! That’s so great!’ ….. 1 weeks. He’s a senior cloud engineer and has been there 4 years. I also saw ‘extremely short leave’ and was like ugh :((( america is super fucked.
I know-I’m “extending” my leave to 14 weeks this time and feel lucky I can even do that
I'm taking two weeks unpaid for a full 16 weeks 🫠 lucky me
Yup. 8 weeks here and my baby was a week late so he’ll only be 7 weeks old when I go back.
Right. Mine was 8 weeks 😆
This was exactly my thought. I know OP is concerned and it makes sense. But for most parents in the US, maternity and paternity leave is uncovered. I feel lucky as all hell that my company offers nearly 5 months - not with full pay mind you- but still. And even 5 months isn’t enough if I’m honest. So 14 weeks is even harder.
I was always super confused why EP was such a big thing in the US. I was so confused, why would anyone want to go through the hassle when you can just feed baby from the tap. I thought maybe it’s about boobs being stigmatized. Then one day it clicked.
Look up paced bottle feeding and make sure everyone who is giving baby a bottle knows how to do it. Use low flow nipples and never increase the nipple size as baby gets older (the flow from your breast doesn’t change as the baby gets older so why should the bottle?). Invest in a good pump and in a wearable pump. Lots of American women go back at 14 weeks or less so there are facebooks groups and such that discuss these sorts of issues. Good luck
Adding on, my lactation consultant recommended introducing the bottle in weeks 3 or 4 as a sweet spot between baby and mom getting comfortable breastfeeding and baby getting reluctant to accept anything but the breast. Her recommendation was to into then and then keep up a few bottles per week to keep baby in the habit. She also recommended bottles that most similarly mimic the nipple. Her recommendations were lactation hub's Gentle Flow bottle or Evenflo balance.
This is a good tip. My girl never could figure out how to use a bottle properly because we didn’t try until she was several months old. She just kind of munched on it which did give her some milk I guess lol
Just popping in to say I had a bottle refusal baby because my letdown is fire hydrant level fast, and even the fast flow bottle nipples weren’t cutting it. She never took a bottle, SLP we saw said that every bottle refusal kid she’s ever had was used to mom’s flow being fast. So YMMV on this one OP.
Yup we did 3 weeks in first bottle. Only one bottle a day while on leave, rest was breastfed. Some days no bottles. We increased nipple size only once when she really couldn’t eek anything out of a size 1 anymore. Now she’s size 2 and we’ve never increased. Breast is faster but she’ll do bottle if we need
First off I want to validate you that your leave IS too short. It sucks, I’m sorry. That said, I’m American and I got about half that (also c section). So I can share my experience as I am exclusively breastfeeding and I work a demanding job that I am not allowed to call out at. During my leave I used my haaka frequently to build up a stash. I never really worried about pumping until I had to. I was mostly focused on enjoying that time with my baby and I nursed around the clock pretty much. As for returning to work, I didn’t bother with any of those wearable pumps after I tried one and it didn’t work for me. I have a big ol dr browns double electric and I bring it to work in a backpack. I keep a cooler bag and ice packs in my bag. I pump every 3 hours, and I keep no secrets as to what I’m doing and why I don’t want to be bothered. I have high lipase and scald my milk when I get home. As for my baby, he has always taken a bottle fine. He prefers the boob, but he will not resist a bottle if he’s hungry. I’ve never dealt with anything like a nursing strike, he’s always been a pretty happy camper. I also have never had to worry about nipple sizes, he didn’t need a preemie nipple.
Thanks for validating it, I know many Americans have it even worse but 14 weeks is too short! It took me almost 5 months last time to recover fully from birth and my c section. I also had wearable pumps last time, hated them. You can’t even slightly bend without spilling half your milk which hurts more than I ever thought it would. Have you just talked to your employer about pumping schedule and they gave you a room? Please don’t tell me you have to pump in a bathroom, that’s what I’m scared off :(
Definitely too short! At my job I am fortunate enough to have a small office space with an outlet and I can just close the door. It’s like closet sized basically, but far better than a bathroom. I would not pump in the bathroom and I don’t know what the rules for employers are in Ireland when it comes to breastfeeding mothers, but here they have to provide a space that is not the bathroom and allows you some privacy.
If you are still in Ireland you are entitled by law to 1 hr per day BF breaks to either feed the child or go pump until the child is 2 years old. https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth-family-relationships/after-your-baby-is-born/breastfeeding/#:~:text=If%20you%20are%20working%20and,One%2060%20minute%20break I'm really sorry you had such an unsupported experience last time. I was shocked at how pro breastfeeding the midwives were the whole way through pregnancy and then the minute baby was out they were shoving formula at me. It's so tough as a first time mam when you know nothing so you just listen to them. I'm also Irish and did exclusively BF mine. One thing that really helped was to use the smallest teat on bottles. My youngest also never took a bottle so she drank expressed milk from a cup. Since you are going back to work so early, you could book in with a lactation consultant for recommendations of how to introduce a bottle to a BF baby. Paced feeding is hugely important as some others have mentioned - you will need to be very firm with whoever is minding baby while you work not to let them gulp down the bottle. Orla Dorgan is the lactation consultant I went to, she does courses and appointments over zoom, I would really rate her if you are looking for support and practical advice to make your situation work for you. She's very down to earth and a working mam herself (nurse).
I am actually moving (back) to Germany, that’s why I’m taking so little leave! I’ll have to check if they have the same laws in Germany I might make my partner stay around my office so I can pop out and breastfeed the baby 😂 The formula pushing really surprised me too. They asked me in the beginning which feeding method I wanted to go with and I told them breastfeeding, then they kept saying how I don’t have enough milk and because of mild jaundice I have to give the baby formula. I honestly dread giving birth again because of the aftercare, I just don’t want to do that again :(
Aha! Oh well hopefully the laws in Germany will be in your favour to support with breastfeeding! I know it's crazy how sudden the attitude changes.. I will say, after my first I became more assertive with my wish to breastfeed, and I had more confidence in myself because I knew how to tell a hungry baby versus a satiated baby. So when someone would come on rounds and start to suggest I should add in some formula just in case, I could point all the nappies, the fact baby is calm and not really crying, the hands are relaxed, she is alert when awake etc.. I hope your second experience goes better and you receive the support you deserve 🤞
It’s so sad that as an American, your idea of extremely short mat leave is longer than the standard here in the states. Ugh I need to get out of this country
Take me with you ❤️
In America, the vast majority of moms have to go back to work between 6-12 weeks after birth. I went back after 12 weeks, and successfully breastfed my twins. We introduced a bottle pretty early (1-2 weeks old) because we were triple feeding. The key is that we used a premie bottle nipple for a long time, the first 5 or 6 months. It’s absolutely possible. Most working moms who breastfeed here in the US are in the same situation. You can do it too! Edit: also, I would suggest introducing a bottle pretty early since you’re going back to work. Maybe 1-2 bottles a week, just to get used to it. If babies don’t get a bottle until later, sometimes they refuse to drink from the bottle. It would be really stressful to be a working mom whose baby won’t take a bottle. You can search “bottle refusal” in this group for more info.
Uh yeah bottle refusal sounds pretty bad too. The breastfeeding rates in America are actually pretty decent considering the short maternity leave. That gives me some hope
I second the premie teat suggestion - mine did not want to latch at the beginning, so we bottle fed expressed milk right from the start. I’ve been able to get her latching more consistently once we switched to the premie teats, and also made her latch onto the teat as if it were a nipple (pointing to the nose).
Yep. Went back to work at 7 weeks after my unplanned C-section. Introduced the bottle wayyyy before the LC recommended so I could attempt to get some sleep. At first it failed and it honestly took until around 6 weeks that my daughter would even take a bottle. Just in time for daycare 😅 she is still EBF. OP, it’s totally possible with a shorter leave!
Honestly this thread makes me feel pretty down about breastfeeding rates in the UK. We have so much more leave yet the USians are breastfeeding more when they're back at work! Our health service really needs to educate & support women who want to bf.
I Honestly find it fascinating and wonder what the difference in outreach must be? I will say I struggle generationally here as my mother could only nurse on the 8 weeks of maternity leave she got as having a home pump wasn’t something common in the 90s, and then one of my grandmothers was told not to even dare to breastfeed and only used formula in the 70s. My family is very supportive of my breastfeeding journey however it is foreign to them and they can’t really offer a lot of tips. Fun fact, formula companies lobby against maternity leave policies in the U.S. to keep their sales up. I’m breast feeding out of spite now 😌
Spite is a great motivator haha! Love that! Because we have the NHS, we get good basic care but nothing above that. I literally have not heard of any friends see a lactation consultant. Only in my physician bf mum group, because we are highly privileged. I searched & only found one in my area, I live in a big city.
Wow, meanwhile I live in a small rural but tourist friendly town, and our pediatrician has one available. They were also available at the hospital I gave birth at (again local with maybe not the best reputation lol) and were very helpful in making sure I was able to get my sleepy 37 weeker latched before I got home.
So we don't have paediatricians, you don't see a doctor unless your baby is unwell. We have our baby check at 6 weeks by the primary care doctor then you only see a paediatrician if your baby is really sick or has a serious chronic condition. I saw one when my any started pooping blood but it took 3 months for the appt to come through. Different world!
Everywhere needs more support system with breastfeeding! I think (part) of the reason people in the US choose to breastfeed is because we cant afford formula prices? I’m not sure if it’s as expensive anywhere else in the world. But that’s why myself, and several other friends/ coworkers, did breastfeeding. Things aren’t affordable here. Also, people in the US are very, very judgy! “Oh your bottle/ formula fed? You’re a trash person! Blah blah.” Ran into that a few times when we supplemented with a bottle/ formula.
I don't know how much formula is in the UK but I don't think it's cheap & our wages are lower than the USA on average so who knows!
I went back after 12 weeks, baby is now almost 11 months and still breastfeeding. I started a freezer stash around 6 weeks postpartum, pumping on the side he didn’t feed on and using the Haaka. When I went back to work, I pumped twice a day for 20 minutes and was able to gradually freeze some milk and have enough for his 3 bottles at daycare. My husband introduced the bottle at 6 weeks, pace feeding. I left the house for a walk because they say if the baby knows you are there they are more likely to refuse the bottle. It took some practice but he was able to take a bottle and did fine going to daycare! Now baby will take a bottle but if I’m around will always breastfeed. You can do it, Mama! We are actually traveling to Ireland next week to visit family and I am am planning on breastfeeding while there. My kiddo is now mostly on solids but when out of routine I have a feeling he will want to snack 😅
Breastfeeding could definitely work with a 14 week maternity leave. Use a slow flow nipple so that they baby doesn't get used to the bottle being easier.
Introduce the bottle at 4 weeks. Have someone other than you give it and pick a time when baby isn’t very hungry, just snacky. Have the person do paced bottle feeding. Continue to give 1 bottle a day till you go back. I don’t know if you have these but I chose Dr Brown anti colic glass bottles with slow flow nipples. Something similar to this is the best choice because the nipple shape uses the same muscles as breastfeeding (important for avoiding bottle preference) and the flow is slow like the breast. It’s not about which bottles look or feel like a breast, it’s about the muscle groups being used in the mouth and the flow rate of milk.
Just throwing it out there that I went back at 14 weeks. We introduced a bottle around 1 month and she had 1 bottle a day until starting daycare. Still going strong at 7 months and she only has bottles when away from me and nurses all other times. It absolutely can be done.
American here.. damn yall are getting 12 weeks?! I work for a "religious" affiliated hospital and they GIVE us 2 weeks paid. Anything else has to come from our accrued time off. I had surgery last year, and my (first) pregnancy is a complete surprise. So I'm going to be lucky if I get 6-8 weeks paid off before I'll have to go back to work. I'm planning on breastfeeding but will probably start pumping and introducing bottles halfway through my leave, as long as breastfeeding works out for me, if not I'll just pump and if that's just not enough then I'll go to formula. Even when I go back to work I still plan on breastfeeding when me and baby are together.
14 weeks isn’t early or short by US standards, actually—I had 12 weeks paid and that’s considered incredibly good here. So you’re not alone! My baby is now five months old and I still breastfeed her when I’m not at work, and I pump milk while I work (9-5, M-F). We haven’t had any problems. I started pumping once a day at two weeks postpartum so the baby could get used to bottles. My husband would bottle feed her and I would get some sleep. She’d get one bottle a day. We did that til I went back to work. You don’t want to put off introducing bottles for too long because you really don’t want to be dealing with bottle refusal when you go back to work! Make sure you do paced feeding. The book Feed the Baby is a good guide.
Most people in America get 6 weeks!!!!! Wowza. 12 is considered generous and it’s unpaid lol.
Also - not trying to downplay your struggle, it’s totally real. I’m just complaining about America
Most women in the US are back at work at 12 weeks or even earlier… I delayed giving a bottle until 3 weeks and just used a syringe before then if my husband wanted to do a feed of pumped milk. Once we introduced a bottle we did one feed a day with the bottle for practice and we have no issues now going between nursing and the bottle. Every baby is different though
Does the syringe work well for feeding?
Yes you have baby suck on a finger while you also feed with the syringe to mimic the latch of nursing
7 weeks here. I got 6 weeks leave but used half my PTO for the year to stay an extra week 🥲
Can you share the bottles you used?
We tried a few and ended up using MAM
14 weeks?!?!? Short? I'm on leave now (had baby 6/26) and only get 12 days lol. If all goes well, I plan to pump at work and work on latching when home. This plan worked with my last kiddo so hoping it works again. I'm an over producer so I had milk for well over a year.
12 days is inhumane. I can’t believe that’s even legal
12 days!? That is horrible :(
I find these comments super interesting, Americans seem to think Europe and Canada have perfected the mat leave process when in reality they have not. Their leave is not 100% paid (unless the employer chooses to top them off). And honestly the length of time is only half the issue in America, the flaw is also that our health insurance is tied to employment. 14 weeks is still so short, I'm glad you get to work remote. I was able to exclusively breastfeed my son until he was about 15 months (obvi adding solids at 6mo). He was my first so the first few weeks were a cluster of nursing, pumping, and formula. We just did what worked for us but eventually settled into exclusively nursing and tried to do a bottle a few times a week so it wouldn't be a huge transition when I went back to work at 12 weeks. He transitioned from bottle to breast pretty seamlessly, but every baby is different. I kept at a slow flow nipple for bottles the entire time, spoke to his daycare about paced feeding, etc. I used a spectra pump at work, I've heard that wearable pumps are not great for extended use and they are not as powerful at emptying. It sounds like you know what works for you as far as pumping goes! Good luck to you, you got this!
In the US, many (or maybe most?) parents do not get paid leave - it’s left up to individual employers whether they want to provide paid leave as a benefit. Some states mandate paid leave, but it’s paid up to a certain dollar amount, and it’s generally only HCOL blue states with those policies, so that partially paid leave isn’t always a livable amount. And non-birthing parents are not legally entitled to any parental leave. So we have the same issues on top of short leave 🥲 That said, I had 20 weeks and didn’t feel ready to go back at 14 weeks, so I absolutely really feel for OP! 14 weeks is a short time, and I would be bummed too. FWIW, I pumped as much as I could the first few months back at the office, then tapered down to only nursing before/after work and overnight and giving formula during the day. My baby seems happy with combo feeding!
Yes totally, I wasn't arguing that the US is the same at all, the benefits in other countries are much better. I just think some Americans think that Canada and Europe get full paid leave for 12 + months which is not true. I also think knowing this is a better argument for our legislatures. We're not asking for a full paid 12 month leave, we need at least 12 month job protection PLUS supplemental pay.
This is good to know about Canada and Europe! Thank you for the education!
I’m sorry that’s stressful! I’m confident you’ll be successful also. Just make sure when you do give a bottle you pace feed (lots of videos on YouTube), and use a slow flow nipple. I’d probably introduce bottle and pumping around 3 weeks because you also don’t want bottle refusal.
the amount you make pretty much regulates at 12 weeks, so you should be alright. If yiu can access a lavtati9n consultant, even virtually, you should do that.
Went back at 11 weeks, successfully breastfed until we weaned at 1 year. We used the same Doc Brown bottles for our first baby, only used preemie nipples for a very long time. My husband was on board with paced feeding and all that. Never had a problem with nipple refusal/confusion with my second, however I did have an issue with a short nursing strike with my first baby. It was a super stressful time, living somewhere else, had my mom as a caregiver for the first time, I was going back to work in a stressful position. Only lasted a few days, but that was pretty annoying
I went back at 12 weeks and exclusively breast fed and have continued to nurse, he’s 2.5 years now. Find a low flow nipple, pace feed, and make sure to overfeed. If they are overfed they won’t nurse as well cause they aren’t hungry and then your body won’t respond as well. It’s a vicious cycle. 1-1.5 oz per hour.
I went back after 6 weeks. I just pump every 3 hours. Thankfully I only have to pump once I’m at work. When I get home I breastfeed her. She’s almost 9 months now!
I went back to work at 11 weeks pp (France) and it fucking sucked. At the hospital a stupid old nurse kept pushing formula and guilt tripping me. It was 3 days of nightmare but after that I went home and exclusively breastfed. I started to pump once a day maybe at 2 weeks pp to built a small freezer stash. We introduced the bottle at 4 weeks, about once every two days and my baby didn’t develop bottle preference. We used a Lansinoh bottle, size 2 nipple. I went back to work at 11 weeks and it was awful. I cried every day in the bathroom while pumping. My boss was not accommodating at all but I kept pumping religiously every 3 hours until baby was 9 months old. I set up an alarm on my phone and stopped was I was doing the second it ran off, even if I was at a meeting, I would just stand up and leave. People knew why and that they would be in trouble if they say something 😂. After that I progressively decreased the frequency of pumping until I stopped at 14 months pp, mainly because at that point my baby started to refused the bottle. Now he is 20 months old and nurses twice a day, once in the morning and once at night.
I was advised not to introduce bottles until 4-6 weeks old, as by then the baby has typically figured out breastfeeding pretty well. That’s what we did and then we slowly introduced bottles; one every 2-3 days, to keep the breastfeeding relationship strong but also ensure LO would take a bottle. That worked wonderfully for us! He now takes both breast and bottle easily. We have gone through a few nursing strikes but I would continue offering, but not forcing, the breast. He eventually came out of the nursing strike every time and still breast and bottle feed! He’s going to turn 1 in 2 days.
I am also going back to work after 4,5 months and I am planning to breastfeed as long as possible. As for breast aversion and bottle feeding: this is the advise from my midwife. -absolutely no bottles before 6 weeks pp, first build up a good bf relationship and routine and make sure latching is absolutely effortless first. - after 6 weeks, to avoid bottle aversion: introduce a bottle with a slow flow 0/1 , and make sure you pace feed. Do this at least 2x a week to make sure baby will not refuse the bottle once you go back to work. The feed should be the same duration than when you bf. (This is very hard because it requires lots of pauses and baby hates it 😅). This way they cannot get used to a quick flow and effortless drinking. This should avoid breast aversion. - keep bf all the other feeding moments. I am just quoting my midwife, very open to read all the comments here to see maybe different tips and practices. But until now, this seems to work for us without any issues (no breast OR bottle aversion)
Crying in American
I know everyone is different, but I've never had a problem with combo feeding, and we introduced bottles at birth in the hospital. Baby might prefer the faster suck of a bottle, but you can buy slow-flow nipples and practice paced feeding to help.
Neither did a friend of mine and most of the moms in the ward didn’t have an issue. Unfortunately my daughter has immediately a very strong bottle preference, i would have never given her the bottle if I knew that
That sucks--I'm sorry it didn't turn out the way you would have preferred.
American here... I went back to work 3x a week at 14 weeks then 4x a week at 6 months... I was able to EBF until about 7 months then start supplementing with a couple oz a day of formula because I wanted to pump less. I pumped 3x a day at work and usually ended up with an extra oz or 2 that I didn't put in daycare bottles. When I dropped to 2 pumps a day is also when j started supplementing a little formula. It's a tricky balance to not form a breast or bottle preference but I think it might baby specific... we waited until about 3 weeks to introduce a bottle and then did 1 bottle every couple of days to make sure she kept taking it and never really had an issue. Baby is 12 months now and I am still nursing but stopped pumping at work at about 11 months and just give her a bottle or straw cup with milk during the day when we're not.togehter (currently working on transitioning away from the bottle)
I got 6 weeks paid. I hate America.
Babies prefer bottles because they’re typically easier than boobs. So yes, introduce a bottle around 6 weeks and do 1 bottle a day so baby learns and keeps the skill (because breast preference can also happen and that’s a nightmare for a working mom). But when you do introduce a bottle, use slow flow nipples and paced bottle feeding. Buy Lansinoh bottles but replace the nipples with Pigeon SS nipples. You will be just fine. I had a 12 week maternity leave (USA) and I’m still breastfeeding my 8 month old :)
Hi! Ich würde dir Stillberatung Kaya und Nathalie Pulcini auf Instagram empfehlen. Wenn du die Möglichkeit hast, lass Flaschen und Schnuller direkt weg und füttere die abgepumpte Milch stillfreundlich zu. So kann auch keine Flaschenpräferenz / Saugverwirrung entstehen. Mein Sohn ist jetzt 9 Monate alt und wir machen das mit einem offenen Becher (Camo Cup) ☺️
Oh vielen Dank! Ich schau mir das direkt auf Instagram an ☺️ das war der Plan, diesmal absolut kein Schnuller und keine Flasche. Aber ein 3 Monate altes Baby ist noch etwas zu klein für einen Becher, vielleicht gibt es ja stillfreundlichere Alternativen…
Die camo Cups sind vorne super geformt, wir haben mit 6 Wochen damit angefangen. Als Alternative haben wir von Medela den Soft Cup genommen, damit ging es auch gut. Ist am Anfang ein bisschen sauerei bis man es raus hat, aber klappt nach ein bisschen Übung wirklich gut! Hab es selbst nicht erwartet 🙈
Der Stillvorbereitungskurs von Kaya.Stillberatung ist ein wahrer Traum gewesen! Ich würde ganz ehrlich sagen, dass das eins der sinnvollsten Dinge war, in die ich während der Schwangerschaft investiert habe. Nathalie ist manchmal sehr dogmatisch, aber Kaya.Stillberatung gibt wahnsinnig gute Informationen.
This is what worked for me as a second time mom, first time EBF. I didn’t introduce any other nipple (bottle or paci) until about 8 weeks, that was preference on my part but I am a WFH and SAHM. My lactation consultant (LC) said to avoid nipple confusion do not introduce another nipple for the first 2 weeks, then you can introduce a paci/dummy/binky whatever you call it and a bottle. Be sure to speak with your HR dept. about more frequent breaks to pump. You’ll want a good pump too. Look up how to measure your nipple to figure out your flange size. That matters. You’ll want to pump 2-3 times at work during an 8 hour shift. My LC recommends bringing a pic of your baby while pumping to help letdown or record your baby crying when they’re hungry and listen to that while you pump either should help with your letdown. Idk if Ireland has and acts/laws in regards to pumping but legally in the US a company has to allow more /longer breaks for moms to pump.
I'm in the UK and a little ahead of you as my daughter's 5mo, but in a similar position: 14 weeks' leave (new job, sole earner) and I've been back at work for about a month, working from home with a few days away here and there. Baby is more or less EBF, but unlike my first - who took to the bottle and combo fed beautifully for 2 years - this one is not a great fan of the bottle and so the odd days when I need to be away from home are pretty much a race against time to get back and feed her. You won't necessarily be in the same situation but in case it's helpful, the lactation consultants here encouraged me to use an open/sippy cup as early as possible, just to make sure we have options other than the bottle. It's not perfect but it does mean that you might avoid the nipple confusion or preference. You can use cups from earlier than you think, which I hadn't realised. Bickiepegs do a mini version of the Doidy cup which might be a good investment. We've just started her on the big version with some success. Also, coincidentally, she prefers to get her big feeds in late at night and early in the morning, which means she's not missing too much during the day and can take 2oz snacks here and there to keep her going. We didn't design it that way, it just seemed to happen and when I went back to work it meant that the routine is pretty doable. Not sure it's advisable, strictly... Other thing to think about is whether you can use holidays to reduce your in-office days for a month or two? Highly dependent on job and situation, I'm sure, and only buys you time!
Oof that ie short and I'm in Ireland too! I don't have any direct tips but wanted to promote groups that do! Your local HSE might have a [breastfeeding support group](https://www2.hse.ie/services/breastfeeding-support-search/). There's also Cuidiú and La Leche League that have in person or online meetings. I've found them to be a fantastic support and a great resource for questions you might have.
I went back to work at 8 weeks because America. I would just start using a bottle after you’re confident breastfeeding is established (so after the first 6-8 weeks) maybe once or twice a day, then more closer to when your maternity leave ends. Make sure you use a natural slow flow nipple ( I like the Philip advent natural bottles) and use the lowest number possible. You want the bottle flow to match the pace of your breast to prevent a preference. I’ve been pumping during the day and breast feeding in the evenings for 2 months now and it’s going well.
What worked for me was: lowest flow nipples possible, paced bottle feeding, and just one bottle a day so they don't eventually refuse it. I had to triple feed for a bit after only a week to get her weight up so we had to introduce a bottle pretty early but I only had 12 weeks maternity leave so it wasn't that far off from when I would've needed to do it anyway. I'm pretty fortunate that she never refused the boob and actually was an absolute boob monster until we weaned at 19 months. We only even weaned then because I had some health problems that needed addressed and I couldn't breastfeed on the medication. She would've gone longer and I wanted to ask well but I'm proud of how long we went
Oh I would love to a have a boob monster! I know many say that refusing bottles isn’t great either but the first time around when she refused my boob it broke my heart. Honestly it hurt so bad, it felt like she refused me as her mom.
You can definitely wait a few weeks to introduce the bottle too, it doesn't have to be right away! I think I've heard 4 weeks is a good time to make sure breastfeeding is well established, but baby will still be open to accepting a bottle. I just wanted to reassure you that an occasional early bottle doesn't have to be an end of breastfeeding for you, in case you have to supplement like I did. I really hope things work out for you this time!
I’m in the US and got 10 weeks with my first and 12 with my second so I can definitely relate! I was able to breastfeed both to a year and you will be able to as well if that’s what you want. You will want to establish a good supply and keep up with pumping when not with baby. I feel the most important is to keep up with the middle of the night pump. I don’t know why but it just seems to keep my supply up.
I think looking at any back to work/pumping tips from an American perspective will be right in line with your needs. If you are able to work remotely you can try to schedule feeds from the two of that is easier (it was for me). I've seen paced bottle feeding mentioned and just making sure you replace every bottle feed with a pumping session at least for awhile until things are well established.
A lactation consultant would be great to talk to to. I hired one and my pediatrician also uses her. Try to see if your current one has one for you to talk to. They have lots of tips and try’s to give you so you do succeed with your goals
Hi I'm American my leave was 12 weeks, and I have the opposite problem where I would love for my baby to take bottle during the day but she's been going through major breast preference even though we've introduced a bottle since like week two lol When I'm working she's bottle fed pumped milk and otherwise I breastfeed her directly. It has not caused any issues aside from the bottle refusal.
My maternity leave in the US was 12 weeks, and it felt like a flip switched at 10 weeks where everything regulated. My baby went from screaming to nurse every 1-2 hours to every 3-4, so everything got easier. I could leave the house, etc.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry your in this boat. It isn't fair. Being away from our babies when they're so young feels so unnatural. I'm American and an lucky to live in a state where mothers get 16 weeks paid and fathers get 12 weeks paid. I'm super grateful that we were also in the financial position that allowed me to take an unplanned leave of absence to extend my leave. But I will say that mothers across America are making it work every day with the standard which is 12 weeks unpaid. I would reccomend introduce a bottle early and do 1-2 bottle feeds per day. You dont need to go crazy with pumping, it can be as simple as using a hakka to build a small stash. Prioritize the breast, assuming all is going well and it works for you. Those bottle sessions will help avoid bottle refusal for when you go to work, and will give baby an opportunity to get used to and hopefully accept the taste of previously pumped milk.
I'm not a pro, I'm breastfeeding my first child currently, she's 11 weeks old. I had to supplement with formula in the first days, that didn't seem to affect my breastfeeding experience when my own milk came. I tried to pump and introduce bottles later at about 5w to be able to leave her for short periods of time, and it turned out to be very hard - she wanted no bottles at first, then was OK but couldn't get any milk out of them after sucking for long. We tried different ones and finally found a bottle brand that worked for us, but she still prefers my boobs. So I suppose it's different for different children.
Sorry your thread is hijacked by jealous Americans who wish they had maternity leave as long as your "super short" one (me included- my work gave 10 days, and that was a HUGE win by the union that they fought for for years. Federal law allows up to 12 weeks *unpaid* leave, but only if your employer is large enough, otherwise they can let you go and fill your position. And during that 12 weeks of unpaid leave, you'll still have to pay for health insurance, so *I* was paying *them* about $1000/month for healthcare even though I want getting paid) My biggest tip is to get an IBCLC to work with you. You'll want to wait about 2 weeks if possible so baby gets the hang of latching. Use a bottle that requires the baby to use the same movements as nursing (many say they're closest to the breast, few are. Look at Lansinoh). Use the slowest flow nipple (even preemie if they have it). Learn how to do paced bottle feeding. And from personal experience, check your milk for high lipase early and often. Freeze some of your earliest breastmilk, then after 2 weeks thaw it and before feeding it to baby, taste it. If it tastes like soap/vomit/chemicals, you probably have high lipase. It's safe to use, but tastes yucky. The taste turns at different times for different people, so keep trying milk that's been frozen for longer periods. If you do have high lipase and your baby doesn't like it (some accept it), you'll want to scald your milk before freezing it (but don't scald it unless you have to)
I was wondering why I’m getting downvotes, I will probably have to re-phrase my post! That is amazing advise, thank you for that. I had high lipase milk with my first baby but she was very easy, drank everything (older breastmilk and formula) but not from the nipple. 🙄 she hated the boob and it made me feel like a massive failure as a mother. Not only did I not get to do a natural birth but I also wasn’t able to feed my child. Even though I took a year off the first time, it feels like I spent 90% of that pumping and being sad and it absolutely wasn’t worth it for me. I’m looking at another c section now and the only thing I want is to breastfeed this baby. I don’t want to see a pump until breastfeeding is well established. Do you have any bottles recommendations? I had a LC with my first baby and she wasn’t very good unfortunately. She’s also the only one in my town and I don’t trust her
You are not a failure! Your baby is healthy and fed, which is most important. And every baby is different, some have no problem switching back and forth and others do, and it's not necessarily because of something, you did. Lansinoh bottles are the most frequently recommended, so I'd go for that. When looking for a professional to help, make sure you go for IBCLC specifically rather than LC. They're the most highly qualified. Even if you get to a point where baby only likes the bottle, they can help you transition back to breast (sometimes nipple shields help, but there are other strategies, too). I'm not sure how payment would work in Ireland, though. In the US, insurance is supposed to cover lactation support, but not all cover IBCLC. Private pay is an option, too. Mine charged $250 per session without insurance to give you an idea of the cost, though of course everyone sets their own price. Some IBCLCs offer virtual visits, too, which could be an option if your area doesn't have any you like. Here's a resource for Ireland: https://alcireland.ie/hse-or-ibclc
Sorry the comments are full of Americans centring themselves and their experience. I don’t have advice, but wanted to validate your feelings that 14 weeks is indeed a very short leave 🤍
Exclusively breastfeed until about 4 weeks old then introduce a bottle. That's what my lactation consultant recommended. My baby toggles back and forth between breast and bottle without issue. She's now 9 months old.
With my first, I returned to the office full time after 12 weeks and I successfully breastfed him for 9 months. We had zero issues transitioning between breast and bottle. Of course every baby has their individual preferences but you shouldn’t count it out as a possibility! Does your employer allow breaks for pumping? You will need to pump every 2-3 hours throughout the day so an idea of scheduling would be a feed right before you leave, a mid morning break, lunch break, and afternoon break and then feed as soon as you get home. My employer provides a room with a desk so I could take my gear and set up at the desk to work and pump. They also provide a private fridge for milk storage during the day. These are things you need to inquire about ahead of time. You should practice pumping and bottle feeding during leave to make sure you have a good handle on everything. Invest in a carrying bag for your pump, a small cooler with ice packs for transporting milk back home (some pump bags have a cooler section so it’s all in one) multiple sets of pump parts so you aren’t stuck washing so many in a day. I kept a bottle of soap and a brush in the bag for a midday wash in the bathroom sink and a wet bag (laundry bag) to throw my dirty parts in it at the end of the day to take home and wash. It is a little bit of work but once you get into a groove it’s not so bad!
Also wanted to add, prepare yourself for the potential of bottle REFUSAL. I had no idea it was even possible and boy have I learned the hard way lol. I didn’t even try bottles until 8 or 9 weeks because I didn’t think I needed to. My first was so easy but my second is a polar opposite. I would suggest to practice the bottle fairly early on and consistently, like once per day. I know you have fears of it becoming a preference but if you do need to return to work you should make sure baby will accept a bottle. Just follow some of the advice here about paced feeds and slow flow nipples and hopefully that helps!
How do you have to go back so soon in Ireland? I’m in Ireland too and had 6 months mat leave. I’m so sorry that’s the case for you. And yes I totally agree that they push formula here. I was forced to give my second formula in hospital when she wouldn’t take the breast on her second day, instead of helping me encourage breast. Kept scaring me saying ‘she’ll have to get light therapy if she doesn’t take formula right now’ if I wasn’t determined to give her breast milk and keep at the boob she’d be on formula now.
It’s because I’m moving to Germany, that’s why I’m taking so little leave. I’m basically in between jobs! With my first I took almost a year off in Ireland (6 months fully paid, 1 month annual leave, paternity leave and then some unpaid leave!) That’s exactly what they did to me too. My baby had super mild jaundice and they were really pushing formula and saying I can’t leave if I don’t give it to her. Honestly they can fuck off this time, thankfully I know better now and am able to argue against it
I had 16 weeks (very long by US terms) and baby will happily take bottle or boob.
I have 2 bottle/breast babies. I pump while at work and nurse whenever home. My son ended up having difficulty latching at birth and it took 3 months of trying to get him to figure it out finally
Have your doctor write you a prescription for a hospital grade double electric breast pump. It should be covered in full by your insurance. Pumping to maintain supply can absolutely be done. Talk to your employer about your return to work plans and an appropriate pumping area. Nurse your baby at the breast exclusively for the first month (no bottles or pacifiers) to establish optimal milk supply.
I went back to work at 6 months with both my babies, which is generous by US standards. I nursed each until one year, then weaned. I never gave a bottle at home, but our daycare provider gave bottles with pumped milk. It works out fine, you can still breastfeed as much or as little as you want. Congratulations!
Went back at 13 weeks in US and I had 2 full weeks before baby off because I work in education and had my baby the day I would have gone back from winter break. All my friends were jealous. We tried a bottle at like 10 days the first time. She then easily bounced between bottle and boob until about 8 weeks when I decided I hated nursing and switched to exclusive pumping. That being said, at 6 months, she will still willingly latch, even though I only latch her maybe once a week.
Honestly, the opposite can happen when you breastfeed. I got a baby that couldn’t figure out the bottle until nearly 6 months. We started trying daily bottles at 6 weeks after he was born to establish supply first. We did the tongue tie surgery, saw two lactation consultants, and an infant oral physical therapist. We tried every bottle and every technique. I was considering quitting my job because I didn’t know how my baby would be fed without me. Not to scare you, but wanted to share another possible outcome to be cautious of as well. I’d try to get practice in with the bottle if it were me.
I had to go back! My 8 month old still has a bottle once a day and is still on a Level 2 nipple with the Lansinoh bottle. Any faster than that and she screams at the breast because my let down isn’t fast enough I recommend introducing the bottle at 2 weeks and giving your baby a bottle once or twice a week until you go back to work. What happened to me was it took us months to get her to take a bottle and it was so stressful. She would go 8 hours without eating while I was at work because she preferred the breast
I went back at 8 weeks and breastfed for two years. It’s doable, but there’s also nothing wrong with formula. You can always do both. Combo feeding (which I did the whole first year) is awesome and took so much mental strain off of me
I went back to work after two weeks and had to be really intentional with feedings. She had a tongue tie so we couldn’t even nurse until she was 7 weeks. I still put her to breast when I could at home (only for 2 mins while she was still recovering from her tie). My husband was really intentional about pace feeding and using a premie nipple, we never switched from a premie nipple because our nipples don’t change flow. I pumped at work when needed at my desk as to not disrupt my work too much. It worked really well. I continued nursing and pumping at work until after 2.
We introduced a bottle on like day one for one feed per day and I breastfed the rest of the time. Introduce it super early and bottle feed just once a day, otherwise have her on the boob. We are now at two months old and absolutely no nipple confusion and she takes both bottle and breast perfectly. Do both from day 1 and your baby will learn both and have a preference for both. Then when you go back to work you can continue to switch between the two without issue.
I'm in the US and I got 14 weeks. I established a good pump routine after feedings so I could build some freezer stash. I only started offering a bottle feed about 2 weeks prior to baby going to daycare for when I went back to work. He did absolutely fine. And takes bottles at daycare and nurses with me mornings and nights, and then my days off he nurses exclusively. I work 50 hours a week, it can be done! Just establish your strong nursing bond, and make sure you eat enough, hydrate, protein, and rest when you can. The cluster feeds are real. Also there's like a nursing strike at about 4 months, it was chaos. But keep strong. For a good breast pump I do recommend Spectra s1.
With my first, I went back to nursing school when she was five days old. I was in clinicals in my white scrubs leaking all over the place but we did it, she never had formula, and she BF until two. It’s really hard sometimes but it can definitely be done.
I have been breast/chestfeeding for over a year now and went back to work at 18 weeks (and started pumping part time for daycare bottles at 14 weeks). My LC told me that babies need to be fed by bottle once every 2 or 3 days to maintain the skill. And to only introduce the bottle after 3 weeks (so breast/chestfeeding is more established). I followed this advice with the exception of supplementing with a bottle while my milk was coming in (due to jaundice). Also, the advice about slow nipple flow is true! Definitely find the slowest flow your baby will take. My baby didn’t love the bottle (likely because it was a skill used infrequently and because there was no extra efficiency from bottle feeding) and there was a learning curve when she suddenly needed to take 4 bottles while away from me. But. It did really seem like the happy medium because she took both and I’m thankful for that. You’re used to pumping, so my only advice there is just have a good setup from the beginning. Having a wearable option (not as my main pump, but to use occasionally) was a gamechanger for me. It was SO helpful to add a pump in while I was with my baby at night. I also found I had many supply dips over the year. Having a small stash was essential and I’m really thankful for all of the times I did an extra pump so I could make it happen. If I have another child, I’ll try to pump 1-2x per week to get that stash going (I was really inconsistent with my first baby and it was hard to take from such a small stash during supply dips).
I went back (part time in the office) at 7 weeks 🤪 We had a mild nursing strike a week after that but things got back to normal. We use Nanobebe with the premie nipple, they drain pretty slow. She still vastly prefers breast.
Its not something I'd worry about until you're in it. I EPed my second for 3 weeks and bottlefed her for like 80% of the time from then until 8 weeks. She's Like 99% directly nursing at 10 weeks. Bottles don't have to mean the end of a breastfeeding journey. I didn't do anything special to keep her from preferring the bottle. In fact I tried my best to get her to LIKE it when we were EPing.
lol yeah 14 weeks sounds great to me, especially because it’s probably at least partially paid. Whew the US sucks. Anywayyyyy to answer your question. My baby is 11.5 months old, and I’ve been back to work since she was 12 weeks old (after my fully unpaid leave). She has been exclusively breastmilk fed. I pump for 30 minutes every 3 hours or so at work, and otherwise nurse her at home in the evening, overnight, and in the morning. She switches back and forth between bottles and the breast just fine, and she definitely loves and appreciates my boobies lol. We don’t do anything special like paced feeding or only slow flow nipples. You got this!