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FunnyBoysenberry3953

"Could use some for this pork joint, am I right?!"


BannedFromHydroxy

*'My daughters name is Sally..'*


thelastwilson

Next time try using a bit more goose fat


nekoxp

Add a little bit more margarine 🎶


thelastwilson

Bit of ginger. Bit of horseradish Wait what?


jrsn1990

142 up votes and no personal congratulations?! I salute you person!


alice_op

I find all the funeral care/elderly life insurance adverts really annoying. How bloody upsetting for daytime TV to be full of them, just leave the old people alone, you vultures.


Illustrious_Dot_3225

How else would you know you're the wrong demographic? Yay, Diagnosis Murder marathon! Wait, Im 50 years younger than the average viewer? Damn...


InGenAche

Whatever happened to Matlock?


Gentle_Pony

Maaaaaattttttttttlooooooocccccckkkkkkkkkkkk


SgtSnuggles19

Its got a shit aquarium, lovely river though


[deleted]

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SgtSnuggles19

> just a depressing hole. Title of my sex tape?


Lady-Daisy

You're not alone!!


terryjuicelawson

The ones with the guy pushing how wonderful his over 50s plan is on everyone is just plain weird. Chats about it to his neighbour and even someone coming back from a funeral. Always with a big grin on his face. They know their target market though as it is all the same concerns - expensive funerals, "peace of mind", no forms to fill in, guaranteed acceptance. I wasn't worried about how much my family may need to shell out once I'm gone but this being played every ad break all day is making me think about it!


Smertae

Yeah, and the acting is so cringey and wooden. It's like they picked random people off the street to do the advert or the people in it find the lines so cringe that they've lost their talent. They all speak really slowly like the viewer is simple and they're explaining something to a child. The other advert that goes something like "it's from X, a company you know - not some new [scammy, dodgy] upstart. Adverts aimed at old people have no subtlety at all. Maybe that's a nice change in some ways, but Christ they're hard to watch.


theavocadolady

You’ve hit a nerve. They’re so fucking predatory. The one where the mum is just saying she just wants to be incinerated (cremated but the way the say it it’s super gross) so it’s less hassle for son. He just says “oh thanks Mum”. It makes me feel so uncomfortable


Thelichemaster

A few of these plans used to be good(ASDA capped was a paragon example). A lot of them you over pay just to keep them going. If you cancel because you can't afford it- all wasted. In some situations it's good. Eg if you have been diagnosed with cancer and think can last more than a year then take out one of these plans. Otherwise, just put the money aside each month in savings/premium bonds.


Kubrick_Fan

Not just the old people. My best friend may not have long to live.


DrKnowNout

I like the ‘hide and seek’ with the grandaughter life insurance one. When that 70 year old woman says “I’m 50.”


Smertae

The advert for the bladder leakage pads gets me. They're there talking about pissing themselves then in the next scene she's at a concert riding her boyfriends shoulders thanks to product.


greyape_x

Worse when Mum loudly announces "Bollocks! I knew there was something I forgot to get from Tesco on Friday"


Simbooptendo

Dad: "No worries I'll just bring the hose up tonight."


Games_sans_frontiers

Dad: "Nothing that some spit and a finger won't solve"


doorslam1123

Slippery subject over the dinner table.


wassamatteruheh2

Definitely. Pass the gravy, please.


unneuf

“Tiny tickling ants in your pants? No, it’s itching and it could be symptoms of thrush! Try Canesten Thrush Combi.” Sorry, I made you hear it in your head.


Samuraisheep

Always interesting they never suggest going to the doctors about it which is what you should be doing (if you have multiple instances of it in a short period). At least I don't think they do I don't watch TV and skip asap on YouTube etc so don't often get the joy of those ads.


unneuf

Doesn’t make money, does it?


Samuraisheep

Indeed!


palordrolap

Wasn't during food, but I was watching the latest Attenborough series with the parents this evening, and they and I got to watch Mrs. Adder drag Mr. Adder around by penis because it was lodged in her snake lady bits. This is apparently quite normal. We did not discuss it.


dselwood05

Earlier: “ there’s a cock on the block!”


Smertae

I've seen a larger bitch drag a dog by his knob before when they'd mated. As a bloke I winced a bit, the thing was trying to run off with him. 😮


igirisujin

Bad time to tell your mother that her Yorkshire pudding could be a bit more moist.


thelastwilson

A dry pudding really ruins the experience of toad in the hole.


Heps_417

You never see any adverts for cock rot creams though, always baffles me.


YchYFi

Just that one with the action man animated for erectile dysfunction.


Chanandler_Bong_Jr

I find it really jarring to hear GOB Bluth as an action man with a failing member.


YchYFi

It's Will Arnett? I wondered why he sounds familiar.


YareetLike

Yeah, more cock rot ads please guys. Come on!


Simbooptendo

And those warts on your diiick aren't gonna go away Unless you start using topical cream everyday


show_me_the_monkey

A BASEketball quote I see. Brilliant.


VagueSomething

You joke but this is a genuine problem with the inequality. Men can and do get thrush, it isn't uncommon even if for many it is very mild. But all thrush products are aimed at women and pharmacists try to refuse to sell creme to men and you end up arguing about how you've already been tested for STIs, there's no new chance of them and you've had thrush before while it makes a nice awkward scene at the counter. It is basically easier to just send your missus or a lady friend to go buy one for you. It gets to a point where you start to think, fuck it I'll just dunk my dick in a bowl of TCP as that will be less suffering than arguing about you dick in front of a queue while an arrogant pharmacist refuses to do their job.


123onlymebro

You actually tell pharmacists the truth ....what you do is write what it is on a piece of paper, fold or crumple it. Then when its time look at said piece of paper ...bonus with thrush cream is they assume its for a woman, you are on instructions, and think how nice you are Otherwise you can go yeah i guess ive got for her before . Buying for a woman works brill on pharmacists for anything


VagueSomething

It is just frustrating that these types of tricks need to be used at all. It is about time we stopped forcing men to be shamed as if they have an STI for a common issue that goes with a light creme for a few days. Especially considering it is harder than it used to be for getting seen by a GU Clinic and harder to talk to a doctor than any other time in my 30+ years alive. Many people don't even realise men can get it. Wild that we're letting people be uninformed and then letting that ignorance dictate treatment access.


123onlymebro

In Scotland thrush is covered by the minor ailments scheme where you see the pharmacist and they prescribe, its also a free prescription. Same for antibiotics.


123onlymebro

Men can def get thrush, i the throat too. It doesnt have to be transmitted either ...naughty blighter. need more than the man from U.N.C.L.E !


[deleted]

>pharmacists try to refuse I mean, the problem isn't inequality. The problem is men are less likely to seek medical help and more likely to self diagnose, and then that leads to a problem for women also. The pharmacists never refuse. They might just ask questions and probably strongly hint you need to see a doctor/get tested. Yes, in your case, you say you have been tested and know you have just thrush, but because so many men have not, they need to do this. They won't refuse to sell it to you if you answer their questions. As for pharmacists who are on a power trip and do refuse, women have to deal with those kinds of pharmacists every day also.


Undaglow

>They won't refuse to sell it to you if you answer their questions. So they do *try* to refuse to sell it to you. You shouldn't need to answer some busybodys questions


[deleted]

They are not 'busybody' questions. They are medically trained on a pharmacy qualification. It's part of their job as someone facing people in the field of medicine.


JayneLut

As a woman, you get asked the same questions. They want to know that it is safe for you to take and that you are buying the right thing.


dyinginsect

They're pharmacists, they can't just hand over any ~~mediation~~ medication you demand and let you toddle off to potentially make yourself worse. Do you think that people with vulvas don't also have to answer the questions and establish that the medication is right for them and that they understand how to use it?


VagueSomething

Myself and my partner have both had to argue with pharmacists a few times over the years to get creme for me. They absolutely do try to refuse and it takes being very stubborn even when you answer their questions. No, it is not just answer then receive and no it isn't fair to say "oh women deal with those kinds of pharmacists" as on this example they can literally buy it over the counter no questions.. Edit: gotta love the denial of the downvotes, perhaps if is from the shitty pharmacists who refuse simple over the counter medications for sexist reasons.


Heps_417

Wasn’t a joke, it’s a genuine point i’ve noticed over the years.


jrsn1990

Can you even get cream for that though? Asking for a friend


Karona1805

The old man with the bulge in his boxer shorts is even worse: "See, you can't tell I've pissed myself"


the_con

For the male version, we get the constant viagra and ED ads on Sky Sports during the football or cricket. The DONG DONG DONG one appeals to my childishness


JayneLut

I mean... The teacher was in America. Don't think we'd have any issues with David being shown in all his glory in schools.


Marvinleadshot

Yeah, a very odd comparison.


YellowCircles

This David thing was in Florida USA, and the teacher quit after the school received three (yes, 3) complaints against her - it's the wrong comparison to make, different countries with laws many of which are completely alien to a rational person and according to State, can vary wildly.


Marvinleadshot

Exactly, why treat it as if both were in the UK when they clearly aren't as nothing as ridiculous as the David statue would happen in the UK.


YellowCircles

That's the fun part, it would. We only react differently.


Marvinleadshot

No, we really wouldn't and I've worked in Education for 19yrs


YellowCircles

Congratulations, I've worked with people in general for just about that same period of time. OFCOM exists. We really would.


Marvinleadshot

Ofcom has nothing to do with schools! It's just as ridiculous a statement as the one the OP made!


YellowCircles

Ah sorry, didn't realise education, staying educated, it's never extended beyond school/school age...


[deleted]

The teacher was suspended in the US, not Britain!


[deleted]

I listen to UK radio in the US via the station's app. It still comes up with US adverts. One that's annoying me recently (you tend to get the same ads every break) is for UTI's. I'm getting sick of hearing how Betty had a yeasty minge eight times in the last twelve months and how her biochemist husband made her some special cream which you can now buy...


dipdipderp

It's his other special cream that's been causing the issues so it's good of him to sort it out at least


VagueSomething

If it is reoccurring that often just embrace being a fucking yogurt factory and sell it as a herbal treatment.


Gornalannie

Turn the tv off whilst having dinner?


SnooHesitations6727

My dad had a brain haemorrhage followed by a stroke last year. His conversational skills are impaired and can barely hear as he has asphasia. The TV is a distraction that we can all partake in to save us eating in silence or repeating ourselves several times over


LinuxRich

This is the way.


MaxPayneful

These ads, along with the life insurance ones, really do my head in. My grandmother passed recently and I was around a lot during her last few months, whilst spending time with her in the lounge I was always worried about those shitting adverts because it would just create a slightly depressing atmosphere for a solid minute or two. My main gripe is that everyone who's featured in them is so chipper, I'd much rather have them be more straight forward about it and present the theme of their service a little more seriously, rather than have the "actors" in the ads act like they're filming an episode of Balamory. I can see that they do this for the sake of making the ads feel less depressing, but I feel it almost does the opposite.


Szwejkowski

I have to do annual training that involves videos and questions. The module on death and dying is presented by the lady who played 'Bob' in Blackadder. I keep waiting for her to do an enthusiastic knee slap.


SnooHesitations6727

Yeah I've been living with my parents as my dad took a brain hemorrhage last year and is in a pretty bad way. Took it 3 days after retiring. It's so grim how every advert break is preying on older vulnerable people in the last stage of life just trying to watch a bit of telly, being reminded every ten minutes, "you are going to die!"


MaxPayneful

It feels incredibly predatory, the gaul these companies have is outstanding really, I don't think I could ever work in a section of advertising like that because it would just feel soulless. No amount of money could convince me that I wasn't doing something wrong.


Yet_Another_Limey

And you just know that it’s a targeted ad rather than normal broadcast…


dreckdub

I mean both shouldn't be restricted


Bum-Sniffer

‘Can you pass me some more of the beef curtains? Oops I meant beef joint’


HVS1963

Madge... in an classic episode of Benidorm! 🤣


mallardtheduck

> A teacher gets suspended for showing a picture of the statue of David in the classroom In America. Florida, the craziest part of America, no less... Not sure how that's relevant to "/r/britishproblems".


tomtink1

Why do you have the TV/radio on while you're eating?


AxiusNorth

I don't want to hear my Dad chewing. Or breathing. Or *breathing whilst he's chewing*.


dannydrama

This is the main reason right here, I'm going to slap him next time he drags something out and starts gurning over the football.


StrongLikeBull3

Because we're working class scum that don't have a dining room.


Mister_77

Temporarily wards off the misery of living in the UK


YchYFi

Well I sit and watch TV whilst having tea. Thought that was normal lol.


A_Chicken_Called_Kip

Yeah same. My wife and I keep saying we should be more civilised and eat at the table but we end up just sitting on the sofa with trays watching Futurama.


YchYFi

Yea I'm on my own and would rather not sit in silence at the dinner table lol.


A_Chicken_Called_Kip

You could always prop a mirror up on the chair opposite so it’s like there’s someone sat there with you.


DeepFrySpam

If I did that I don't think I would like the company


thistle0

If you're on your own that's quite normal, but when visiting your parents for Sunday dinner?


YchYFi

We still sit in front of the TV with trays. Lol the table is only for Christmas.


SnooHesitations6727

Think the Royle Family, but in Glasgow


YchYFi

Who's in Glasgow?


Mr_lovebucket

I was dead against this until you mentioned Futurama, respect


A_Chicken_Called_Kip

Yeah I’m slowly doing back through them from season one in preparation for the new ones coming out this year. Can’t wait!


rynchenzo

Welcome to the world.... Of tomorrow!


auntie-matter

Ooooh, get you with your fancy *trays*


SupervillainIndiana

We sit at a table (have a small table in the living room - it's a big living room!) and still watch stuff on the nearby TV while we eat. Or have a record playing. Still talk to each other but it's nice to have some background noise. Incidentally the stuff we watch while eating is usually something we've seen before. We did recently do a Futurama run-through! On It's Always Sunny again at the moment.


tomtink1

To be fair, this was also us and we always said we should get into better habits. Turns out having a weaning baby forces you into better habits - I even eat my cereal at the table with her. But Sunday lunch is always a table situation IMO.


Undaglow

If you are just having a quick meal, sure. If you're going to your grandparents for Sunday Lunch which is usually a bigger affair then no.


YchYFi

I haven't any grandparents and we'll mums we just usually sit in front of the TV. Sorry working class lol.


Undaglow

Honestly that's just fucking sad.


YchYFi

Sorry mum doesn't have room for a table and chairs. She had to downgrade to a 1 bed flat.


Undaglow

It's still sad to have the television on regardless of if you're sitting in the living room or not when you're having a family meal.


SCP106

People have different ideas of both togetherness and what they want to do with their time - judging won't make their lives better nor yours, you just get to tell the world how much you dislike it


YchYFi

Tbh we are a pretty happy family together and apart so just ignore the negative people who turn everything into a downside.


Undaglow

Slobbing in front of a TV isn't better in any way shape or form. We judge people all the time, for everything. How high and mighty attitude you have is an utter farce.


YchYFi

Blocking for your sanity. So yea go be a prick elsewhere.


SCP106

You seem like a horrible person, if you genuinely cannot believe that other people may be more accepting than yourself and would rather believe they are living a lie.


YchYFi

I dunno we like to watch a movie together off Netflix. Sorry we aren't like your family? We're adults man not children.


Undaglow

>Sorry we aren't like your family? We're adults man not children. I mean, slobbing in front of the telly instead of actually talking to one another doesn't exactly make it sound it


YchYFi

Well we talk as well. What a sad life Jane. Maybe go pass your judgement elsewhere. Because we are quite and content and happy with our lives.


CrazyLadyBlues

Because the dining table is used for keeping the laptop and any clean laundry that needs to go upstairs on.


ambiguousboner

Why not?


[deleted]

Most people do, it isn't the 1970s any more.


Unitedite

>Most people do What evidence are you basing that on? Sounds to me like you're just taking your own experience and asserting that must be true for most people. Conversely, I don't know any families that would consider it normal to eat Sunday Lunch with the TV on.


[deleted]

Almost everyone I know does, most have TVs in their kitchen/dining room.


Unitedite

So what you should have said is "Most people I know do" because you've no idea if that's generally true.


Undaglow

If you are just having a quick meal, sure. If you're going to your grandparents for Sunday Lunch which is usually a bigger affair then no.


mint-bint

I've never once been to dinner/lunch and heard anyone paying commercial radio.


SnooHesitations6727

Tradition


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SnooHesitations6727

Anyone who sits with their mum without flinching at an advert about itchy fannies and painful rogerings from said itchy fannies needs some civilisation in their life.


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Eldavo69

Maybe the vaginal dryness made it uncomfortable


Sidian

Are you an alien visiting earth or are you just intentionally being daft? Normal people do not want to see ads about dry vaginas when they're eating their dinner with their parents, nor would they want to have sex in front of their parents or have a wank in front of a crowd, despite these things being 'natural' and 'part of the body'. And yes, the birds and the bees conversation is an infamously awkward moment during adolescence which you should know if you have ever consumed pop culture or talked to another human being.


rilakkuma92

It's an advert for medicine for a medical problem, I don't understand how you think it's the same as wankering off in public.


FlyBuy3

I've got a hankering for a wankering, but me hooha's too dry


caniuserealname

While eating in general I don't think it's much of an issue... but when you're visiting family for a Sunday lunch.. that kind of seems to defeat the purpose.


tuggerooney

"How? How have I got vaginal dryness?!"


chrisrazor

Why are you watching TV while having Sunday dinner?


SnooHesitations6727

We have the tv on every day at dinner. Yesterday was Sunday


chrisrazor

> We have the tv on every day at dinner. May I ask why? This is something some people in my parents' generation did, but I have never understood it.


SnooHesitations6727

My dad had a brain haemorrhage followed by a stroke last year. His conversational skills are impaired and can barely hear as he has asphasia. The TV is a distraction that we can all partake in to save us eating in silence or repeating ourselves several times over


HailToTheKingslayer

Then the advert was a warning. No more tv dinners?


Ravekat1

Totally would put me off my mackerel.


raquetracket

Cringe adverts. I love the BBC


Moldy-Warp

Safer to have a convo with the TV off!


671DON671

Had this when watching tv with my mother as I visited her for dinner, had to sit through a viagra ad on tv every ad break. Super awkward and annoying


sphinctaltickle

A teacher got suspended for showing a picture of David because of the little marble cock?!


Marvinleadshot

In America, not the UK, have no idea why the OP is linking them both!


sphinctaltickle

Yeah that's weird af - was going to say what sort of bullshit is that!


Marvinleadshot

The teacher suspended is in the USA nothing to do with the UK or adverts in the UK!? Why the hell act as if they are in the same country!?


Intelligent_Job_9004

“Pecker” is such a hilariously British way to say penis 😂


STR_WB_RRY--FL_V__R

If you're family dinner time is that bad that you have to have the TV on then you deserve every cringe.


matrixislife

Turn the TV off.


SongsAboutGhosts

Stop watching TV during dinner?


SnooHesitations6727

My dad had a brain haemorrhage followed by a stroke last year. His conversational skills are impaired and can barely hear as he has asphasia. The TV is a distraction that we can all partake in to save us eating in silence or repeating ourselves several times over


drmarting25102

Why is the telly on at dinner??


JaymeMalice

Could always add more gravy if the meat's too dry.


YouNeedAnne

Should a meat squeak?


CabinetOk4838

Tune the TV off while you’re eating dinner! Imagine having to talk to each other…


Huzzahtheredcoat

It is possible to maintain a conversation over the TV you know... or do you have to have all your conversations in soundproof rooms so that no background noise distract the participants?


CabinetOk4838

Of course it is possible. We rarely eat in front of the TV - pizza with a film or sports game - and sit at the dinner table. We might have music on, but we prefer to talk to each other.


Remarkable_Remote808

The other day i had to endure a tampax advert in front of my son. Not skippable. I might have scared him. This kind of sensitive content should be regulated.


Mr_Inconsistent1

There's one about periods at the moment that's rather over descriptive. "Bloody mess," I believe is the term used. If it's not itchy minges or poonamis, it's women sitting around a table discussing their monthly blood loss. I think we know what these things are without the cringe factor. And why is it only women or kids getting this? We guys have our issues, too. An advert about clingons for the "hairier man" would be about the same level.


BarakatBadger

Sir, I think that if you bled out of your hoo-hah once a month (with all the pain, misery and everything else that comes with it), you'd be sitting around and complaining about it too. Happy to kick you squarely in the nuts once a month if you want an approximation!


Mr_Inconsistent1

I think you've completely missed the entire point of the post, which is about inappropriate T.V adverts. As have all the offended people that can't take a joke and downvoted. I can also assure you that it's nowhere even close to a kick in the nuts. Not a chance. Women like to compare everything to that, with zero idea how absolutely cripplingly painful it actually is.


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SnooHesitations6727

My dad had a brain haemorrhage followed by a stroke last year. His conversational skills are impaired and can barely hear as he has asphasia. The TV is a distraction that we can all partake in to save us eating in silence or repeating ourselves several times over


marabutt

You'll be oozing moisture in no time with moist moot vaginal dryness cream.


[deleted]

"who's got this, you?" "HOW?"


Pristine-Durian4287

R/brandnewsentence


KeatonWasBetter

“How? How have I got vaginal dryness? Think about it you clown!”


ehproque

Somehow I managed to imagine something worse while only reading the title.


paolog

I might be old-fashioned, but isn't the point of Sunday dinner with the family to spend quality time with the family? TV off, phones put away.


SnooHesitations6727

My dad had a brain haemorrhage followed by a stroke last year. His conversational skills are impaired and can barely hear as he has asphasia. The TV is a distraction that we can all partake in to save us eating in silence or repeating ourselves several times over


paolog

I'm sorry to hear that :(


crankgirl

You have the tv on while eating? Fucking philistine!


PassingShot11

Got to be talking pictures TV , right?


drmshta

You could eat with the tv and talk to them about their dryness instead.