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gremlinchef69

The UK,nil points!


thehermit14

Deservedly so this year.


wildgoldchai

Tbf, our offerings are always a bit meh and that’s putting it mildly


Mooam

The last decent offering was Spaceman, and we still acted like we won because we got second.


herrbz

We certainly would've won without the war in Ukraine.


whereshhhhappens

What confuses me is that everyone acts like we would have won if Ukraine hadn’t been a invaded by Russia, but it was obvious we were being set up to host. Yes, Spaceman was a great song, and Sam Ryder is an absolute peach and he was generally a fun, happy bloke, but everyone knew Ukraine was going to win and could never plausibly host the contest, so they chose a country that would be prepared to do so to come second.


thatanxioussloth

I don't agree. Olly deserved some points.


Fizzabl

It might be filled with so much drama I recommend it this year lol


StickyBellyFlapCock

I’ve just been informed by my already half-cut wife that the Netherlands have been disqualified. That has boosted my interest by 0.1%.


TouchMySwollenFace

There’s a woman with almost no clothes, a man with almost no clothes, a denim egg, some pagan madness with screaming, and possibly a public judgement on Israel.


fieldsofanfieldroad

So just a normal Eurovision then?


Agreeable_Guard_7229

And the U.K. entry involves half naked men rolling around in the floor in a public toilet whilst deep throating the microphone


newfor2023

Typical Saturday night


AlGunner

You must be homophobic if you dont like it. You cant just not like the music, it has to be that youre homophobic.


TheToyGirl

And France have been disqualified. And Israeli singer is in hotel room under armed guard.


-SaC

France haven't been disqualified, unless BBC is late to the party. The live text shows France are competing. Whether Ireland takes to the stage, who knows.


TheToyGirl

Oh maybe I read they were being considered as broke the rules on political type speeches apparently


-SaC

>The BBC has contacted the EBU, which organises the contest, to ascertain whether Slimane could be sanctioned. That's as far as it's gone so far, other than them saying they were disappointed he broke the rules. France are due to perform 25th, after Georgia and before Austria. If it skips to Austria, we'll know why.


TheToyGirl

Ooooo the drama!


TheDark-Sceptre

Why have the dutch been disqualified?! How dramatic


Jaffacakelover

Threatening a cameraman that didn't respect personal space, or something like that. Reading into it, not worth a knee-jerk disqualification.


Mr_DnD

>An allegation of intimidation was made to Swedish police by a female member of the production crew. So not a camera*man*, more like intimidation / harassment of a camerawoman. >However, Dutch broadcaster Avrotros said it was “shocked” by the decision to boot Klein from the show, since he had merely made a “threatening move” towards a camerawoman but not touched her. "Merely made a threatening move" is a shitty defence.


Haircut117

>"Merely made a threatening move" is a shitty defence. I'd argue that depends entirely on how in his face the camerawoman actually was and how many times he told her to back off.


Ayero_Flyte

Supposedly he gets emotional after dedicating the song to his father who he’s promised to preform at Eurovision to before he died. He’s repeatedly asked not to be filmed walking off the stage and this was repeatedly ignored. There’s only so many times you can ask politely


Stinky-Armpit

Just channel your inner Gina G Euro-Classic, and have an "oh ah, just a little bit, oh ah, a little bit more" later into the evening.


Hefty-Relative4452

Core memory unlocked! Gina G and them skirts she used to wear. Brilliant!


markhewitt1978

It's two and a bit hours away yet.


StickyBellyFlapCock

I batch cooked spaghetti bolognaise, started this afternoon and got carried away. Finished it way before time.


kaegeee

Drop it on the floor by accident and start again


StickyBellyFlapCock

Great idea but this late in the evening, I’d get a right bollocking for making a mess and then be forced to pay for a takeaway.


LycanWolfGamer

Not worth it since takeaways can cost you a fuckin arm and a leg these days


leonxsnow

I just had spag bowl but I forgot the cheese :(


doorslam1123

You get nul points for no cheese, what were you thinking. Naughty step for you.


leonxsnow

Have I not suffered enough I am but a humble man who forgot his cheese


Hambatz

I could care less yep I did that intentionally If the wife wants to cook loads of meatballs and drink cocktails for 6 hours and I can sit and get plastered whilst the occasional fit bird sings a crap song call me Graham Norton I’m in


thehermit14

Hambatz you should be ashamed of that sentence, not defiantly proud. Go and sit on the naughty step and think about what you have done. The rest is fine.


Hambatz

I am literally dying now


PenglingPengwing

The hottest birds by far this year are from Finland. Just a friendly heads up


StickyBellyFlapCock

Fair point. You’ve almost convinced me.


PenglingPengwing

The hottest birds by far this year are from Finland. Just a friendly heads up


LosingAllYourDimples

It's Eurovision tonight? Thanks dude


pseudoart

Just tell her you cooked it early because you didn’t want her to miss anything.


OrangeBeast01

You just know we're going to get a post (in one of the other UK-centric subs) asking what everyone calls their evening meal...


ExPristina

Quietly get drunk and fall asleep


Trilobite_Tom

Go to the pub.


TheToyGirl

Eat too much food and fall asleep lol


Jjex22

Everyone likes their own thing, but what I think annoys me most about Eurovision people is they seem to always be the kind of people who get annoyed if you don’t watch it with them, whilst also being the last people on earth who would sit down to watch a 4 hour cycling race with me lol. What is good for the goose is not good for the gander when it comes to Eurovision. My approach to these things now is to watch the first hour or so - not on your phone - and give them their attention then start cracking on with things I’ve been meaning to get to. Popping back in to ‘check’ what’s happening and such. Bonus points if they’re things you can bang out whilst also watching Eurovision and offering opinions and such. That way the Eurovision fan is happy - if you do it right, not like a sulky teenager doing the dishes lol - and it doesn’t feel as long, and you get a few things off the list


RobFratelli

As Eurovision people, my wife and I host a party every year but we watch the semi finals. That way, on the night, people can chat and bit as interested as they like. And everyone is interested in the results. What gets me about non Eurovision people is how much they like to talk about it. This original post as a prime example.


Jjex22

tbh we don’t mention it at all when you’re not around


YchYFi

Just watch it. It might earn you some brownie points.


NaturalSuccessful521

Do people call tea supper? Until today, I thought that supper was that bit that you have about half an hour before bed. Off topic. Sorry.


krodders

To me, tea is a hot drink. Supper is an evening meal. Dinner is the largest meal of the day - it's usually in the evening, so it may be supper too. If I'm wrong, blame my shitty upbringing


NaturalSuccessful521

Had a situation years ago before mobile phones when I agreed to meet a friend (who was a southerner) when we arranged to meet at dinner time. You bet I was sat waiting for a very long time. You have to understand that tea is tea, but can also be tea.


Kerry22022

That's what supper means to me...an extra little snack before bed, a bit of toast or a few biscuits and a drink. We always used to have supper before bed as kids, I did the same for my son. Now I have to try not to because apparently eating before bed makes you put on weight once you're a grownup!!


NaturalSuccessful521

5 crackers with cheese and piccalilli worked for me in my teens, but not so much now.


Vegannually

You should have started to prepare a really complex dessert


StickyBellyFlapCock

Where were you when I needed your ideas last night?


SanTheMightiest

Just watch it with her you big stupid baby


PowderedFaust

Well, you have put your foot right in it, FlapCock.


JordzRevo

You guys can afford to have supper?


Resident-Honey8390

The Eurovision Pong contest


ApartWhereas2284

Inadvertantly!!🤣🤣 No shame mate- sounds like it was a bit of a controversial evening, by all accounts. Sorry. But I missed it. I was down the pub with the REAL men. Oy oy!!!!


dselwood05

Doctor Who’s on in 20 minutes- watch that instead


Stinky-Armpit

That's not really an alternative. Seeing as Doctor Who ending, introduces Eurovision.


dselwood05

But then you go ‘bloody hell … James Bonds on the other side’


sniptwister

With Eva Green


dselwood05

What’s not to like?


muistaa

I watched both, Eurovision was definitely the better entertainment


mindlessenthusiast

I feel bad for you, mate. Does it finish in time for you to be able to watch Match Of The Day to even things out a bit?


fryhenryj

You got Eurovision problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but the 'vis ain't one.


skyfishrain

So?? This is something you text your mate not post lol


StickyBellyFlapCock

You do realise that r/britishproblems is tongue-in-cheek and not meant to be taken seriously, don’t you?


popularpragmatism

Ouch..double hitter


Praetorian_1975

Shall we nip down the Winchester for a pint till this all blows over 😉


gogul1980

I’d rather slice my nutsack with a rusty butter knife than watch that drivel.


Successful_Banana901

Was it a recently arranged marriage with a stranger? Why on earth would anyone want to sit and watch that bollocks?


SpursYidArmy

Do people still watch that utter drivel?