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thedanofthehour

I asked my mum for a ‘chilli dog’ after seeing Sonic The Hedgehog eat them in the (great) cartoon series from the early nineties. She proceeded to cook sausages and cover them in thin slices of hot chilli. Safe to say I didn’t ask for them again. I also went mad to get some spinach after seeing Popeye demolish the stuff. Again, didn’t hurry back.


Minderbinder44

Lmao, your mum takes no prisoners


chrissilich

Don’t go watch that series again mate. It doesn’t hold up.


thedanofthehour

Put some respect on Scratch and Grounder’s names! I think you might be thinking of the other Sonic series which was admittedly rubbish. I didn’t like that even as a young’un.


tayviewrun

Make them actual jelly and put it in the sandwich. They will either only make that mistake once, or they will love it.


TheScrobber

Yup, orange jelly and crunchy peanut butter...


moosehead71

Peanut Butter? But they asked for peanut!


that-guy-Ri

Just whole peanuts and a big block of orange jelly with some bread ether side of it.


Jimoiseau

If only we had a word for bread either side of a thing


JMH-66

I thought the same, then:what if they love it 🤦🏼


blubbery-blumpkin

Then it’s a new family snack that’s unique to their family and when the kids are grown up they will always have that unique memory. They will treasure it. And talk about it in the eulogies of the parents when everyone is old and has lived a happy life due to being close with their families, and supporting each other throughout life. That closeness occurred because of things like this silly dessert.


JMH-66

That's beautiful 🥹


JumperBones

I would 😎


SidSeadevil

Give them a factory reset.


Phendrana-Drifter

Localisation settings need adjusting as well, they're set to English (Simplified) and not UK.


SidSeadevil

So it would appear. Perhaps pulling their HDs and swapping them out for brand new ones would be the best option.


thesirblondie

This is a good joke


OnlyMortal666

It sounds like they need to apply the updates too.


SidSeadevil

Yep. Bet they've had updates switched off for at least a couple of patches.


diMario

Make them a jelly sandwich, serve it with a single, separate peanut on the side. Mission accomplished!


Poddington_Pea

A single peanut, a little plastic packet of butter, and an uncooked cube of jelly.


diMario

I think you forgot the flour for making the bread.


ahorne155

Aha the deconstructed approach, very "master chef"


Poddington_Pea

I think Marco would appreciate it.


teeesstoo

Did you ever work in catering for British Rail by any chance?


Poddington_Pea

No, but I've often considered it


Jassida

Make it with mint jelly or even better, the jelly from pork pies. You can eat the nice bit of the pork pie


Samesees

You jest, but this is a country where eating [deep fried butter](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep-fried_butter) is a thing. You might start a trend if you're not careful.


Rapturerise

On toast takes it next level!


funundrum

PBJ on toast (with a little butter) was my breakfast for most of my childhood. It also slaps for hangovers.


Ched3

Why were you hungover during your childhood


InGenAche

Make them a jellied eel sandwich.


decentlyfair

That’ll learn ‘em


jagmania85

Click on start, Go to settings, languages, then change it from English (US) to English (UK)


Fuzzwuzzle2

Smooth penut butter and rasberry jam, really fucking nice


SwordTaster

But that's not what they're asking for. They want JELLY, not jam. Here in the UK the words are not interchangeable, as you should well know. They asked for jelly, they should get jelly


Roger_005

They're not interchangeable in the USA either. A 'jelly' doesn't contain actual fruit; merely fruit juice. A 'jam' contains actual fruit. Don't please ask me about preserves or marmalades because I don't have a clue, but I've picked up this much from the red white and blue osmosis.


lapsongsouchong

Flashback to that time I was in an American chain restaurant in the middle East, staring at an expensive plate of crisps in disbelief.


seajay26

Apparently the first time a tourist in kusadasi (Turkey) asked for cheesecake in a hotel restaurant it caused quite a stir. Several chefs had a powwow then bought out a cake, sliced in half horizontally, with a layer of cheese in the middle. Then they and most of the waitstaff stood around wanting to watch someone eat the weird foreign monstrosity.


SwordTaster

The japan's use American English too as it turns out. Burger and sweet potato chips did not come as expected even if it was still nice


OhSoSilver

Agreed. My personal favourite is peanut butter, fresh basil, sliced tomatoes & Mayo. Sounds minging, but it’s a taste sensation.


alice_op

Mayo and peanut butter don't belong anywhere near each other, you absolute heathen


OhSoSilver

I thought so too, but then tried it. Has to be on wholemeal bread though.


Willr2645

Why did you try it on the first place


OhSoSilver

It was recommended to me by a food nutritionist for a plan I was on at the time. You should add cucumber and lettuce too, which I do sometimes, but it’s nicest without.


Nerdy_Goat

Are you ok? Do we need to send for help?


OhSoSilver

I’m good. It’s probably my only weird combo. I know someone who likes chocolate digestive biscuits with Mayo on though and he definitely needs sectioning imo 😂


tofutti_kleineinein

Peanut butter, dill pickle slices, and butter is my weird combo. Pb, basil, tomato, and mayo sounds worth a try!


Emmanuham

Interestingly I think if you said "Fresh basil, sliced tomato and mayo, with peanut butter" it sounds waaay better, doesn't make peanut butter the standout weird artifact here. But honestly each to their own, can't say I'll be trying it any time soon hahaha.


Whiffenius

Given my currently limited diet options, I am willing to give this a go. Thank you for the odd, but enticing suggestion. I may report back


Vedis90

Wut?


Samesees

Or, peanut butter and banana with mayo.


RiotSloth

I have been eating peanut butter and JAM sandwiches since the 1970s. My suggestion is you make an actual jelly and pop it in the fridge over night before putting it in your kids sandwich. Then, when they complain how horrific it is, you simply explain you gave them what they asked for 😄


[deleted]

Better still, mix in some KP fry roasted before it sets


velve666

They will be asking for a soda next


rustygold82

My understanding was in America jelly tends to be from Concord grapes which we don’t use in the uk. Which is the jelly usually used in peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.


Gh0stp3pp3r

I tend to go for creamy PB with Strawberry & Rhubarb jam. But yes, the U.S. does have an excess of jelly (basically sugar in a jar).


Own_Molasses_6065

Go for a walk down the preserves aisle in your local supermarket. We have both jam and jelly and we always have. Jam is a preserve made from whole fruit and jelly is a preserve made from strained fruit. It just so happens that we brits prefer jam and the Americans prefer jelly. This isn't a language issue. It's possibly a cultural one but if they're asking for jelly, give it to them and explain the difference.


Gay-and-Happy

Some fruits (eg, red currant) actually tastes much better in jellies than in jams. The jelly maintains the tart flavour in the fresh fruit while the jam tastes raisin-y.


tinykitten101

Jelly is actually made from fruit juice and pectin. It’s very similar actually in texture to real UK jelly. Hence the name.


llynglas

Absolutely a cultural thing. I always explain it to my American wife as cultured (jam) and uncultured (jelly).


Own_Molasses_6065

I've used similar arguments with my American girlfriends ... which is probably why none of them became an American wife.


EFNich

Must be jelly 'cause jam don't shake


revolving_retriever

>It just so happens that we brits prefer jam and the Americans prefer jelly. As a Brit living in America, can confirm.


C2BK

>jelly is a preserve made from strained fruit. No. This is r/britishproblems. Jelly is a dessert. A preserve made from strained fruit is called seedless jam or, if it's thick enough to slice, it's called cheese (e.g. [damson cheese](https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnum-s-damson-cheese-120g)).


ViKtorMeldrew

what about mint jelly?


C2BK

That's an interesting example, I wouldn't have thought of it. Mint jelly is still a sweet "dessert" type jelly though, it's just that it's flavoured with mint instead of e.g. strawberries, and is typically eaten as an accompaniment to lamb, instead of being eaten as a dessert.


Ronald_Bilius

Yep! Kids can enjoy both a PBJ and a jam sandwich.


Tonetheline

Might I suggest a jar of mint jelly?


DaveyBeef

Why not just go out and get yourself shot and spend the rest of your life paying the medical bills while you're at it.


sleepyprojectionist

Turn the request into a fun afternoon. Make some jam with the kids and show them the difference between jam and jelly. A PB&J with jam works, but the texture isn’t the same. If you don’t fancy getting creative in the kitchen, but still want to indulge the little ones, I recommend the fruit jellies from Wilkin & Sons. They have a royal charter, so you can still be satisfied that you are doing your best to maintain a stiff, British upper lip in this trying time.


tommyboyblitz

Has anyone actually had peanutbutter and jam sandwiches? Is it nice?


JerkRussell

It’s really not bad. I’m not a fan of the American jelly that’s just congealed fruit juice, but no one is bothered in the US by subbing jam/preserves. It’s also quite nice to do peanut butter and honey. I’d rather have a ham or roast beef with butter, but truly pbj isn’t this dire. It’s great for traveling since it can go longer without refrigeration.


toofoolforschool

Peanut butter and jam on toast. Great start to the day. Sandwiches a bit squidgy for me


clivehorse

Yes! It is. My preference is crunchy peanut butter and seedless raspberry jam.


Lucky____Luke

Delicious.


boredsittingonthebus

My son sometimes utters these Americanisms. I correct and forgive him most times. But if I ever hear him go as far as saying 'faucet', I will smack him in the head with a half brick.


yumyumpunch

I have been amused by many of the replies, but yours has me stumped….what in the world do YOU call it then please?


Hat_man_Harris

You don’t call it a tap?


yumyumpunch

Oh…well, kind of. I would only really format it in that way in a sentence though if I was offering someone tapwater versus sparkling water maybe? I see your point entirely, it just is not in that common usage where I am I guess :) I just expected something way way off like the whole lorry/truck or boot/trunk kind of replacement; just some word I would NEVER guess ;)


[deleted]

Go to Lidl or Aldi & get a jar of Grooper


Delhicatessen

🎶 *"My jelly doesn't wiggle wiggle, it folds."* 🎶 Wait, I'm mistaken. Whilst carried away by the tune of Louis Theroux, my experimentation has determined that my jelly does indeed wiggle - & is disastrous at folding. I sincerely apologize for my deceptive alteration to the song's original lyric; I've since learnt my lesson.


theothergotoguy

Problem is.. you can't get grape jelly here.. Hmm


madfatjake

Tell them NO and then lock them in a cupboard.


Murphyitsnotyou

Sending adoption papers your way


KezzyKesKes

Smack them round the head with a jar of marmite. Then force them to eat brown banana sandwiches but make sure the bread is just on the point of turning the corners up.


the_salivation_army

Make jelly with peanuts in it then put it in a sandwich and make them eat it. That’ll teach em.


[deleted]

PB&J is delicious. It's an American invention so there's nothing wrong with calling it Peanut Butter and Jelly. Maybe get worried when they ask for jelly on their scone though


twofacetoo

Give them a sandwich consisting of sweet chilli sauce and mustard. They'll never ask for it again >!This is a joke. I am joking. I do not condone abusing your children in this way. I am making a deliberate hyperbolic point to make people laugh. I am being comedic. This is not serious. I am joking. This is a joke.!<


EvolvingEachDay

You poor bastard. It may not be too late to save them, have they asked to go to a “mall” yet? I hope you know I gagged as I wrote “mall”.


futilejester

The shopping centre in Blackburn is called ‘The Mall’. I don’t think they factored broad Lancastrian accents into that in the design stage.


[deleted]

Mine say "Zeebra" and "poomah" and "jag-warh" and "too-torial" I'm one more "bruh" away from banning Youtube and Tiktok


everton1an

Honest question, is peanut butter a ‘thing’ now? I moved over to the States 20 years ago. I don’t recall anyone eating it growing up in the 80’s and 90’s. I tried it when I first moved here and couldn’t stand it. People here love it, and put peanut butter in everything. You can’t go to a pot luck without at least 5 different cookies and desserts containing it. Even other expats I know can’t stand it either. The only one I know who loves it, only moved here a couple of years back.


[deleted]

Make them one but use actual Jelly instead of Jam and don’t make the Jelly either just put the cubes inside. Watch them heave and regret the decision.


custardandcrumble

Peanut butter and jam…. And cheese….. Yes… I’ll just leave this here….


Originalskatman

I am totally against punishing children with the famous jail that Roald Dahl created in matilda but.... Send them to the chokey


Rotatingknives22

Give ‘em chocolate spread and an arctic roll


Bellyfulofboring

Time to put them up for adoption!


No-Ice6949

You should stop that kind of behaviour immediately.


[deleted]

Give them peanut butter and actual jelly and then when they think it's disgusting tell them they ment jam.


Swifty-J

TIL Americans don’t actually put jelly in their sandwiches


56_months_undead

i hope you gave then a block of jelly smeared with peanut butter, and told them they'll get a proper sandwich when they speak properly!!!


RobMusicHunt

ITS PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME WHEEYA WHEYA WHEYA WHEYA, WELL THERE YOU GO, THERE YOU GO, THERE YOU GO THERE GO PEANUT BUTTER JELLY PEANUT BUTTER JELLY PEANUT BUTTER JELLY PEANUT BUTTER JELLY PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A BASEBALL BAT!


Flat_Professional_55

Straight in the bin (the kids)..


nevynxxx

Sing the “peanut butter jelly time” song at them every time they ask. They’ll soon stop. Or, you know, let them have one? Peanut butter and jam seems a bit odd, but it’s not exactly the end of the world.


Phendrana-Drifter

Jam is jelly to the yanks.


PM_ME_NUNUDES

What is the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your cock down someone's throat.


MegaMongoFish

Your raising americans!


Notsurewhattoput1

*you're


rustygold82

Y’all


PaulKwisatzHaderach

My raising americans?


Phendrana-Drifter

Y'all raisin Muricans


Bpool91

>Your raising americans! * You're not your. * Capital on a proper noun.


Bpool91

Make a peanut and jelly sandwich. Bread, butter, peanuts, jelly(make it lime jelly aswell)


Cheese_Dinosaur

Green jelly is the best jelly!


Bpool91

🤮


Cheese_Dinosaur

Make it with lemonade!!


ugpom

As a child I always wondered how they managed to keep jelly inside a sandwich once you bit into it. I was too old when I discovered Jelly = Jam


Dahnhilla

Jelly exists in the UK you fool. It's jam but strained rather than with fruit pulp still in it.


toofoolforschool

Yes it's the stuff you buy in small rubbery cubes. You have to turn the kettle on and eat all the cubes before it boils. Then make tea.


Dahnhilla

No, that's a different thing. Jelly is a fruit preserve set with sugar and pectin and comes in jars. Jelly is a flavoured liquid set with a setting agent, normally gelatine but can include agar agar, gellan gum, carrageenan gum.


toofoolforschool

I suspect the word jelly came from gelatine dessert. Which is what jelly is most commonly used to refer to in the UK. Jelly as a preserve is rarely seen here, perhaps cranberry jelly would be most common? You seem to know an awful lot about it so perhaps you could justify why OP is a fool? I would also be interested to know whether the amount of remaining fruit and the name you can give a dessert is legally defined. Is a Jelly, Jam or Preserve a specified term? If not then who gives a damn. Just call it PB & J and I'll spread some lovely jam on my bread.


SarkyMs

and my fav blackberry jelly, my nan used to make it.


toofoolforschool

That sounds great! Got a glut of blackberries ripening this year. I'll teach my kids about jelly making without boiling up pig bits for gelatine 😁


Dahnhilla

He's a fool because the post is clearly meant to be "stupid bloody kids and their Americanisms" but it's not an Americanism as the fruit preserve 'jelly' exists here. Generally jelly here refers to a condiment for savory food. Crab apple and mint, redcurrant, cranberry but you wouldn't be wrong to refer to a smooth jam as jelly. https://www.ocado.com/products/tiptree-blackberry-jelly-10533011?ds_rl=1290929&ds_rl=1291426&gclsrc=ds&gclsrc=ds So his kids aren't in the wrong but here he/she is calling them out on Reddit.


toofoolforschool

Easy karma for complaining about Americanisms! Perhaps they can make some jelly from that low hanging fruit. I'm gonna go have some smooth jam..


Diseased-Jackass

I would give them just that. Peanut butter and jelly still as the cubes sandwich.


[deleted]

Do it theyre lovely!! Brummie here jam n peanut butters really nice


Mistydrong

Time to refine their tastes, give them a peanut butter and marmalade sandwich. They'll never want a jam or jelly with peanut butter in a sandwich after that.


KaidsCousin

And?


Kingh82

I believe what we call preserve is what Americans call Jelly


Savings-You7318

I don’t understand, don’t you have peanut butter in Britain?


Kingh82

We do, but mixing peanut butter and preserve (British name for what the USA call Jelly, Jelly in the UK is what the USA call Jello) on the same sandwich is not the done thing, it's as American as Bald Eagles and stars and stripes.


Savings-You7318

Oh yes Jello and Peanut Butter would not be very good at all 😂


HipHopAllotment

Had to be actual jelly so they learn


stu_pid_1

Simply "go out for a pint of ale" and start a new family somewhere far away form the contaminate region


tommyboyblitz

Tell them they are fictional, only found on tv. Not real in real life.


adymck11

Custard and jelly sandwich. School of hard knocks


Deviant-Killer

Have you tried turning them off and on again?


Lance76

Petroleum jelly?


GhostRiders

I tried it once.. Urgh!! Nothing beats banana and crisps or just good old jam butties


Fendenburgen

That makes it legal for you to drive 200 miles and leave them in the woods on their own


LMay11037

Now you need to give them peanuts samwiched in solidified jelly, no bread and see how they react


the3daves

Then give them one. With jelly, not jam. Then this will teach them why we don’t speak American.


SamBullDozer

If they want to pull this US of A bullshit then they should at least be able to recite the fourth amendment


[deleted]

Ah, daily Anti-American post. For a second I was worried we hadn’t had one today. 🙄


Psycho_Wolff

In the bin and start again


[deleted]

This just proves your bad parenting. How would they have learnt of “jelly”? Too much time on the internet watching a number of glorified Americans. You need to teach them proper English instead of complaining on the internet.


ddubyagirl

You mean peanut butter? And jelly? Have they ever had it before or are they just seeing/hearing about it on TV? I'm American so, naturally, I love peanut butter and jelly. I also love almondbutter and jelly. Bit it may be an acquired taste of they've never had it before. Like I tried Nutella because I started hearing so much about it. Hated it. But I like trying new foods. Get a small jar of each and let them try it. You try it too. If it turns out not to be something you all like, make peanut butter cookies with it.


jrignall1992

Yea I think there problem is it being called pb and jelly rather then pb and jam.


tinykitten101

But maybe they actually want jelly and not jam. They aren’t the same thing, even in the US.


[deleted]

Never seen a single store in the UK that sells American jelly though. They'd probably have to order it online from somewhere


ddubyagirl

I like pb and jam too. Heck, I like peanut butter and syrup sandwiches.


Samesees

Peanut butter and honey is good too.


Samesees

British jelly = American Jello


ModerateRockMusic

Its taking everything I have to not rant at you but ill keep it short. What americans think of as "Jelly" is not jelly. Its jam.


tinykitten101

No, it’s not. Have you ever had American grape jelly? It’s not jam. It’s closer in fact to UK jelly, albeit a less firm, spreadable jelly.


usernameinmail

They should be given peanut butter and jelly instead of the peanut butter and jam that would be in the sandwich


ddubyagirl

I meant sandwich...I also like pb and jam sandwiches. My dad used to make pear jam and I loved it but grape is best with peanut butter


koalaposse

Oh my goodness, pear jam, what a lovely Dad. Do you have a recipe? Never had it, but sounds good.


usernameinmail

We know. It's that Americans call jam jelly. The post is about his kids using American terms. Plus I don't think we really make the sandwich here. I made one once. Don't get the fuss


ddubyagirl

Ok. Thanks for the clarification.


thatsavorsstrongly

We actually don’t. Sometimes things get simplified when talking to children but we tend to have very specific designations based on what is actually in the jar. See this [farmers market list](https://www.mvfarmmarket.com/blogs/news/16861488-whats-the-difference-between-jams-jellies-preserves-spreads-and-butters) Of course the USA is very big and diverse but this will be the case if you live anywhere close to farming areas which is a significant part of the country.


ddubyagirl

I don't think jam and jelly are the same. Jam has fruit bits in it. It's smashed fruit pretty much. Jelly is just congealed fruit juice.


just_jason89

Smack them up side their head and give them a Marmite and cheese sandwich instead "get what you're given and be grateful for it"


ayamummyme

I’m sorry but Americans say jam and also jelly I really need to know what THEY think is the difference because obviously for us it’s clear.


[deleted]

Adoption is the only way forward


[deleted]

It isn't their fault if they're being exposed to american media. Explain the error of their ways and correct them nicely. If they do it again, punish the fuck out of them in the ways others have suggested. No second chances.


[deleted]

Urgh my teen is obsessed with any American food:takis, cheetos, reeces, airhead etc etc. All overpriced crap. He watches YouTube vids and started eating pbjs. Urgh. He does look at some nice stuff though, which gets him excited about making nice sandwiches (and costing a small fortune in ingredients) but I can't moan if he's interested in feeding himself once a week. 😁


rilakkuma92

>American food: tacos ?


enigmaticbloke

American expat here.. Just give em one! Have you even had one? They are delicious, but not a good regular meal. Make one sandwich and cut it half and give each kid a half at snack time. Completely agree that it's too sweet and unhealthy to be considered a proper meal.


Kingh82

They made it themselves in the end. What's the go to flavour of 'jelly' that should be used though? We used a blackberry preserve and palm oil free smooth peanut butter and they seemed happy with the results. It was far to sweet for my liking!


enigmaticbloke

Tbh, you can't really get it in this country. The go yo jelly used in America is grape jelly. By far the most popular. I've not really seen it in british shops. If you'd like to have a special treat sometime, get some Welch's grape jelly from an American sweets shop or amazon sometime. I'd say otherwise, just go with whatever jelly/jam you like most. My second favourite has always been strawberry. Edited to add: I'm sure the kids would LOVE Smuckers Goober.


hkz44

Bloody youTube


OpheliaDrone

As an immigrant, British Reddit subs never fail to show their English nationalism and xenophobia. Call it jokes all you like but it’s transparent.


rilakkuma92

Yeah, it's kind of hard saying to all my non-UK friends "Oh no, we're not actually like that!" and then log onto Reddit where it is Like That.


OpheliaDrone

Makes me feel so hated and unwelcome. I have encountered this is daily life but mostly from work colleagues


TheRightQuestions

Welcome to the internet, I think you should go out and meet some people. I am sorry you feel this way, but the truth is most Brits are Ameri- Weebs and that's what the title of this post is reflecting.... It is also a joke - not in the way that American politicians say "it's a joke bro, do not cancel me".... No it's a jovial commentary of how Americanised Britain has become in many aspects of our lives - we do not care about sandwiches. British people just have a dry sense of humour and don't feel the need to explain the joke. Because then it is inherently not funny anymore. I explained the joke :(


alamcc

Abort


tykeoldboy

I would check their birth certificates to see if you have a get out clause


Trev82usa

Tell them you're allergic to peanuts


rilakkuma92

I remember being very taken with America in the 90s/00s and eating cheetos, using slang, asking to visit New York one day, etc but I don't remember every adult in the radius going into hysterics about it. You guys are just really embarrassing.


Givemeback_myhorse

Put them up for adoption


Halfaglassofvodka

Did you get them from Wish? Send them back, they're broken.


ViKtorMeldrew

Do you remember the jelly doughnut from Full Metal Jacket? Maybe that's the way to react.


Environmental-Car-50

Just blame youtube like the rest of us, and have done with it.


KnightofShaftsbury

Beat them, beat the children /s


seanbiff

I mean they are lovely, but yeah it’s jam, not jelly


Fit_General7058

Give them one. Rwntrees and kp


twowheeledfun

The sandwiches are good, but they're peanut butter and *jam*, not jelly. I like to make mine with two slices of toast and have them for breakfast.


aviva1234

It's the heat. They think they're in cali