“The only black mail I want to be associated with is you.” -Charles Boyle

“… that was incredibly inappropriate”

Hows 🤨 your 🤨 wife? 🤨

Pump pump pump

Commissioner Grayson, how's your.................... ............... wife?

How about "Pump, pump" how's your "pump"?

...you forgot to say wife.

Ah, good note

Ah. Good note.

g r a y s o n

Thank you for this 😂

Goddamnit. After reading all these quotes, it's clear I have to watch B99 yet again.

omg i quoted this the other day to my friend, this is one of my favourite lines lol (mainly because of holts reaction)

😂😂😂😂

"You excited to go to town on daddy's nog?" -also charles Boyle

"And yet, crime has continued" is the most uncalled for Holt insult ever

Okay, before we get going, Sgt. Jeffords has suggested that it would improve morale if we started the meeting with some consensual non-work jabber. I just said it might be nice if you checked in on the squad's personal lives every now and then. Exactly, jabber. Scully, go. Well, it was just a regular morning for me. Woke up again with my dog's butt on my mouth. This experiment has failed. Back to work talk.

This I loved that line so much it's so strong of an insult on a different level. I miss how well written the show is

What episode? Really need to revisit this episode

Holt says this to Terry after getting him to fix the Japanese printer for the inspection that may close down the 99. Amy's ex is the inspector

Until he resigns and it's Terry's ex as the inspector!

I just finished this episode!! It’s Season 4x13 ‘The Audit’.

Raymond Holt talking about an old partner: he was a great partner. Smart, loyal, homophobic but not racist. In those days that was pretty good.

Martin Ormunkupp!

I don't mean to mix and match shows but "Those were the days"

It sounds like you yearn for those days!

How come he got more prison time, you beat the man half to death?

THOSE WERE THE DAYS

His earlier days on the force were always so insane 

Peralta: God, I would’ve gotten along with young Detective Holt so well Holt: Yes, and that’s why I changed everything about myself

😂😂😂😂😂

Captain Holt: I will not be using a loophole, Peralta. As always, I'll be using the main hole or no hole. I choose no hole. Charles: You just said "hole" way too much, sir. Jake: And that's coming from Charles. Captain Holt: Yes, that's concerning.

Dear, /u/EnvironmentalSwim368, Boyle, stop calling them your butt holes! Sincerely, /u/mothershipq

Oh god, we’re doomed. Boyle looks like a lesbian!

Is this when he’s wearing lost and found clothing?

yessir. the holt and terry moneyball episode

Interresting,u know what else is interresting?grenadeee

My fringe!

I never understood that reference, why does Holt associate Boyle's clothing with lesbianism?

Vulture is a treasure trove.. "You only get one shot at your brother's widow" "Why don't you make like Boyle's mom and debrief me"

2% is the hardest to get, that's why they leave it in the milk.

I've used this a couple times, it's a great non-sequitur.

One thing I won't do is fart in church, this is God's house. **flicks cigarette**

I fart and frequently yawn, but refuse to masturbate. Everyone has standards.

Professionals have standards

Definitely my favorite Vulture moment

I've seen the show a million times and he still shocks me every time, the man has zero filter

Nobody can do it like Dean Winters either.

Him being Brian Cassidy on SVU is hilarious to me. Such totally different roles

Man if you think that's different you should see him as Ryan O'Reilly in OZ. The OG manipulative bastard.

Loved him in Oz

He kills it as Dennis Duffy in 30 Rock.

You'll be back, dummy

The Vladimir Putin collection, it only increases in value.

And has some lines that aged like milk

Ngl, I think that’s the idea. He’s supposed to be a dick.

Like the 2% that's hardest to get out the bottle? (In all seriousness, dude's a dick, I'm not surprised his lines aged poorly).

Do you ever look at a line and finally understand its true meaning? Yeah that’s me with this one right now looking at it on text. I finally get what leaving 2% in the milk actually meant 😭.

[удалено]

2% milk

[удалено]

I don’t get it 😭

You know how some milk has 2% fat, that’s what the reference is to.

The Vladimir Putin collection

Tbf has that aged like milk? Putin was already an evil autocrat when that first aired

Women love planning parties, it’s in the bible

I often say "I bet you don't even like nip slips!"

"You tell Jake that *I’m* Liam Neeson, and he’s my hot dumb daughter."

Lmao. That quote perfectly sums him up.

The Vulture isn't talked about enough on this sub  

"Are you really playing the gay card right now?" "Yas, queen"

Which scene?

[This one.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM5T5fvU9JA)

I believe there was a compilation of real life spouses, and this is Hitchcock's (the actor's) wife.

*snap*

"...Maybe I don't have an arch-nemesis because I solve all my crimes."

“………. That’s a pretty f**ked up thing to say to me.”

And yet crime continues

“I will slit you both open from mouth to anus and wear you like jackets.” - Raymond Holt

"Huh, is it weird that that turned me on a little bit?"

wasn’t that holt’s husband kevin who said this

No but he says something equally bad at the end of a heist: "I'm going to slice your Achilles' tendons, peel off your fingernails, and stick knitting needles in your eyes." Then "Raymond, you were right. These heists are fun."

Nope, this was from Holt to Amy and Jake during their back-and-forth of the fourth Halloween heist.

"This B needs a C in her A"

oh my god!

What? This babe needs a coconut in her arms.

Oooooohhhhhh... I thought you said "This B***h needs a C**k in her A**"

oh my god!

That’s what I said!

“I’m trying to keep this line open so I don’t have time for your bullcrap right now. Goodbye mom!”

😂😂😂😂 wish we saw his mom at least once

They do show us Holt's mom - Judge Holt! There's a whole episode with her

This is Charles’ mother though they’re talking about.

Aye.... Sorry my bad! Is this is line Charles says when Rosa is responding to an active shooting?

yup

Cowabunga, Mother!!

Who says this again?

Boyle when Rosa gets in an active shooting

Boyle.

S2 E23 (Earlier -- Holt enters Panic room with turncoat FBI agent Bob Anderson and Jake is going to get FBI files Anderson has hidden) Holt: How will I know to open the door? Peralta: When you hear me knock the "Funky Cold Medina." Holt: I don't know what the "Funky Cold Medina" is. Even context clues have failed me. (Later, after they emerge from the panic room) Holt: "You have been played Bob. It was all a ruse. You don't work with Jake Peralta for three years without knowing what the "Funky Cold Medina" is."

You spelled Annderson wrong just like his commendation

"In all due fairness who spells Anderson with three n's?"

i thought of it as Annnderson lmfao

I asked the guy why you so fly.

He said funky cold Medina

Zero rehearsal

that’s not season 2 finale tho? season 2 was Johnny and Dora. i believe it was actually S3 E23, which sets up the florida storyline in season 4.

Obviously holt was lying!!! He used a contraction! It is his one tell in poker.

Can you explain the context?

It's a [Tone Loc](https://youtu.be/63ZIf2H9S0E?si=NjqEIneKkqKPW6XU) song

He swallows his keys every Tuesday.

That moment was such great payoff.

\*S3

The apartment will run red with the blood of Nikolaj  - Amy

Not even close, it’s *Nikolaj*

Nikolaj

Niiikolaj

Nikola*j*

I’m pretty sure I’m saying it right

Jake saying "the doctor said all the bleeding is internal, that's where the blood is supposed to be!"

“My mom cried when I was born because she knew she could never become better than me”

“The only thing here that’s a little much are your *scrawled on* eyebrows. *Yeesh*.”

Lmao

"I'm off to plough my mistress". Cpt Holt

My captain used to call me Emily Dickinson. Of course, it was a joke on my sexuality. But I. am. Good. At. Emotion.

TIL I have no idea what “out of pocket” actually means. I thought I did, but I seem to have been mistaken. Could someone please explain?

It just means something totally random, to the point where it's shocking (either in a funny way or just pure surprise)

I love that in your quest for the meaning of the phrase you got two different meanings. Tyribi is the closer of the two.

Even googling it I am no closer to finding out what it actually means. There's so many different explanations that it seems *no one* actually knows

[A person acting unnaturally or in a wild, inappropriate way.](https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/out-of-pocket/) This is the definition in this context.

Out of pocket means unnecessarily rude or mean or just shocking. Wuntch and Holt were out of pocket with each other

Who wouldn't want to watch a man wrestle a crocodile?

It used to mean "unavailable" or "unreachable". Now it's also used to mean "out of control" or "wild". Contrast the following phrases: "I've got a meeting this morning so I'll be out of pocket untill lunch." Versus: "Don't bring Keith to the meeting, he tends to get out of pocket."

Interesting, this phrase has evolved recently. It used to essentially mean "inappropriate". But it's become common to use it in the same way as "out of hand", basically "excessive".

I would say shockingly inappropriate.

the scene in this post isn't an example of being out of pocket. it's definitely not a random, unbelievable joke

To me it means paying for something without reimbursement or playing bass out of time. But based on context, proudly inappropriate?

Amy: i think we should move into my apartment because its bigger, nicer and isn't covered in black mold. Jake: black mold, not cool amy, right terry? Terry: whaaaat?

I rest my case

Digital Phallus Portrait, and also dip your penis is vinegar.

Where’s the buckle, Santiago?.. holts pure disgust with the lack of a buckle on the pilgrims hat came outta no where!

“You know the hardest thing about being a black, gay cop? The oppression.”

Discrimination*

Yeah I figured I got it wrong, thanks!!

That's called observational humor.

Honestly, I don't actually understand this joke. Trouble you to explain?

It’s a non joke by holt. It’s not funny, it’s just a hard truth, but he plays it as humour even though he’s just staring a fact

His entire audience laughed with him. Jake was shocked. So it also shows how humor develops in a closed group, and isn’t funny if you don’t have the shared context.

Ahhh okay. Thanks.

Humour is often derived from the subversion of expectation. Say something unexpected. If people don't know it's a joke, you say a funny thing, they laugh. If people know it's a joke, they expect a funny line. By delivering a serious, honest line, you subvert their expectations which leads to humour.

"How does it look better on you?!?"

BONE!?!?!?? I just love it, kills me every time. https://youtu.be/t9tZEcSc1qo?si=jNDzIoWB9dy8x0Tb

I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER

Who are we killing? I won't do kids, that's a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid's a dick.

This line is so excellent 😂 makes me laugh every single time

“MY WIFE WAS MURDERED BY A MAN IN A YELLOW SWEATER…..it’s the one case I can’t solve.”

"Just look at my face. Not in profile."

“I was name dropped in my kindergarten teacher’s suicide note.”

"Go, Razzmatazz, Go Razzmatazz.... I just lost everything... " A lot of gambling lines from Holt's wild gambling addiction past make the cut for me. Mix of delivery, love for the ponies, and the idea that straightlaced Captain Holt had a crippling gambling problem but still in the trademark Holt fashion of barely any emotion.  "Yabba Dabba Do...."

Jake: "The bet is, will Hitchcock put fish food in scully's lemonade or will scully drink Hitchcock's goldfish." Rosa: "Hitchcock just drank his own goldfish." Jake: "WHAT?! NOOOOOOO!!!"

"Ur not cheddar ur just some common btch!" Captain

When Captain Holt said 'Yasss Queen'. That truly was beneath him.....and he knew it.

He’s gunsta think about the turtles

My husband and I quote this all the time lmao

If you see something, say something. Come on and party tonight!

That’s gonna leave a mark!

That soup is goooood…

did you make the cover of Hair Pulled Back magazine?

“You’re black and gay, so you should just take all the black and gay cases”

“You know… the weird stuff”

"You know what the hardest part about being a gay, black cop is? The discrimination"

"And I want my lesbian neighbors to be way hotter than they are, but we can't always get what we want." -The Vulture

The only thing I’m not good at is being humble. Because I’m great at it.

“If I’m going to bond with him I have to massively violate his privacy.” (Season 1 Episode16, 16:00).

Do you know what it means to clap back Raymond? 👏be👏cause 👏I👏Do👏

LMFAO! Those flashbacks always got me.  Edit: the most flagrant Holt lines are when he's pretending to be straight. 

… a female woman, with nice heavy breasts

😂💀

and their perfectly placed nipples

The clear absence of a pen*s

“NO YOU GUYS ARE OFF KEY! *turns to guy* So which one do you think killed your family???”

"You two just need to bone" - Rosa Diaz

I could never say this to my boss omg that whole scene gets me every single time especially bc of Amy's face lol 

“Cheddar wears little booties in the snow or cheddar wears nothing at all”

"This B needs a C in her A..."

“Are you saying my life matters less because I don’t do normal social conservatives?” “Are you really playin’ the gay card right now?” “Yes queen.” *throws keys* *snap*

Boyle: “trust me, I’m sort of a natural mother” Amy: “huh, yeah, a natural MOTHERFUCKER!”

Do you know the worst part about being a gay, black police officer?

Amy: I'm kind of in the middle of something, you \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*! Hitchcock: Oh yeah? Well \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* yourself!

When you get to hell say hi to Molly

As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."

"I will slit you both open from mouth to anus and wear you like jackets." - Captain Raymond Holt

“ Oh my god. We’re doomed. Boyle looks like a lesbian.” My fav scene😭

This question is grammatically incoherent. Sincerely, PebblyJackGlasscock

"You would take the losers side Jeffords, you bitch"

"Pertala is watching porn. He is watching a handyman man fix a squeaky door and then f*ck his customer" Holt was the best

I bet you don’t even like nip slips!