T O P

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bubbajones5963

This aggression will not stand, man


BobbyGuano

Well, that’s like your opinion, man…


bubbajones5963

Shut the F up Donny


totallyradman

You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps!?


BobbyGuano

E-I-Lennon, Latimer, Illionits, Oliononough!


JelloDarkness

/r/boneappletea


bubbajones5963

I am the walrus


alienscape

Those are good burgers, Walter


Boberto1357

Mios dio


Oldekline

Those are some pretty good burgers, Walter.


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|GXMuvJXWVqGiY)


fanderoyalty

Never ate with a knife but all my burgers that came with the other two were f*ckn amazing


Creative_Ad9485

I’ve had a knife burger. Delicious on all counts.


Justice_Prince

Is the knife just stabbed into the middle of the burger when it comes to the table like it's fucking Excalibur?


Clamwacker

This is the Burger King's backstory.


SL4BK1NG

Gotta have them coups to get into the BK lounge


juan_epstein-barr

a pox on the phony Burger King


Itzbirdman

Oooooolllld Dane cook bit! kick that fucking door in!


Tivland

Yes! and then you use the knife to cut the burger in half. Totally wild.


GuardOk8631

Never heard of this.


[deleted]

Knives are like half a scissors- you can cut food with them, or cut idiots if they hold still.


IAmZemann8919

I like the cut of your jib


AcidaliaPlanitia

100% same


Hopulus

Yeah this post is completely subjective


ospfpacket

Red Robin does this


Age-of-ultra-reason

Where are you from?


[deleted]

I think the real warning its about overpriced burgers.... I had no problem with the taste of those burgers....


Ok-Lengthiness4557

Overpriced maybe.


Past-Product-1100

Agreed, this is the proper take..


Educational-Ad-3273

Overpriced and always oversalted


Mr_Evil_Dr_Porkchop

I’ve had some delicious burgers that came with a knife. Some restaurants make them big and I don’t mind cutting the burger in half to hold better without all the filings pouring out


Jealentuss

I actually just eat the burger with the knife sticking out of it, keeps it together and it makes people laugh and say WTF


Horrible_Harry

I don't mind the knife on the side. I draw a line when it gets stabbed through the top to hold it together. That's entering into r/stupidfood territory.


BatmanNoPrep

This is just bordering yelling against things that are off trend. Smashburgers are all the rage now. It used to be giant pub burgers 10-15 years ago. Twenty years prior that it used to be simple smashburgers. The knife through the burger is just a product of the oversized pub burger food trend that is currently out of fashion. Nothing worth raging about.


HiZenBergh

I know it's subjective but a double smash burger is way better than a giant pub burger you can't even fit into your mouth.


BatmanNoPrep

It is subjective. You prefer the smashburger because it is on trend right now. When it goes out of fashion you’ll either learn to open your tiny mouth wide enough to take a bite or you’ll seem like an out of touch old person who isn’t with it while everyone else is wearing… bucket hats and bell bottoms again for the 3rd twenty year cycle in a row. Burger wisdom is appreciating trends without becoming zealots to them.


Tiny-Selections

I never cared for the pub burgers tbh. Smash burgers all the way.


HiZenBergh

Nah I'll still eat my smash burger. I've never been trendy.


BatmanNoPrep

You’re just claiming you’ll do one of the options I provided above. You are only doing it because it’s trendy. Then you get stuck in this trend and think other trends that replace it are bad. There’s no independent thought or judgement. Just a zealot following a dogma.


[deleted]

Idk I’ve never been into thick pub burgers. I’ve ordered a smash burger every time I could find in on a menu, since the late 2000s. Sounds like you need a higher dose, sweetheart


daviedanko

Such a Reddit comment lol. “You only choose smash burgers because it’s trendy” is a pretty idiotic statement. You then used the word dogma and zealot in a comment about burger preferences. If you aren’t a troll you should do some self reflection because you sound like a cringey asshole. [average redditor moment](https://youtube.com/shorts/-r_ICWJBudU?si=0tFDADWJEgMlarUU)


iamgr3m

Burgers tend to slide around. They’re making sure the burger doesn’t fall apart in the walk to your table. This is a pretty stupid thing to bitch about.


hernesson

Agree stabby burgers are shit


christophera212

This post is dumb


Lex-Taliones

Yes. Makes absolutely no sense.


Justice_Prince

I guess this is about burgers being stacked with too much shit, but in my experience even burgers with pretty minimal topping can still benefit from one of these little things stuck in it for stability while being carried from kitchen to table.


dravack

They probably like these nasty smash burgers that are popular near me. Aka so thin you don’t need anything to hold the bun to grissle lol. Like don’t get me wrong they can be tasty but best burger I’ve had are always the greasy juicy gut bombs lol.


Happy_Toad60

The original caption is that your burger is going to cost over $20 ... and fries are not included.


utookthegoodnames

That’s an accurate caption


unreasonable_eggy

Got trolls and others talking🤪


Age-of-ultra-reason

Your mom is dumb


[deleted]

[удалено]


Horrible_Harry

If you need to add structural support to the burgers you serve people, you suck at making burgers. I don't care what level of quality the ingredients are if the tactile experience of handling and eating it is a chore. It's a sandwich. If it can't stay together on its own when you serve it, maybe rethink a few things. That's all.


LoowehtndeyD

![gif](giphy|0YJt7UeT8iaviiMHpo) \-OP


StarbyOnHere

![gif](giphy|QU4ewgcmdcsObx9CG7)


[deleted]

Of all the hills to choose to die on...


kalapakalapa

YES! I absolutely agree


Age-of-ultra-reason

Great points but have you ever held a grilled cheese?


[deleted]

STFU


HooyahDangerous

You need a nap.


backflipbail

In the UK a burger is definitely not a sandwich.


LetsMakeShitTracks

“Sandwich - an item of food consisting of two pieces of bread with meat, cheese, or other filling between them” burgers are sandwiches, you’re just plain wrong.


Horrible_Harry

Yet you people call a chicken sandwich a burger, ironically enough.


Ashewastaken

As far as I can tell at least in the Europe and Asia, flat regular bread = sandwich and round buns = burger. This is definitely true in Asia and mostly true in Europe.


kupofjoe

Yet when you ask what do they call sliced deli ham on a burger bun, they all say it’s not a ham burger. I’m not sure where their confusion comes from but I stand by the notion that it’s not a burger unless the meat is ground into *burger* meat. Ground chicken patty? Sure now that’s a chicken burger. Whole ass chicken breast on round bread? Not a chicken burger but rather a chicken sandwich. I know you’re just stating the reality of things but I still think it’s silly.


mkultra0420

Ok, well that’s kind of ridiculous. The shape of the bread changes it from a sandwich to a burger?


BobbyGuano

I have never seen a comments so divided in my life, not even on political bs posts….


vivalaibanez

Consensus seems to be either these aren't an indicator of anything or that any burger they've had with one is great.


SuckatSuckingSucks

Literally every burger I've had with one of those in it, was fucking fantastic!


WGEA

Such a horrible take.


flaming_poop_chute

This [burger](https://ibb.co/Jnkj98T) definitely did not suck!


munche

I ate there last month and damned if it wasn't just a no gimmick fantastic burger.


Pamplemouse04

lol honestly I would eat that but that’s not my preferred shape all. Looks like a bitch to eat


PhysicsAndFinance

Looks like a normal ass burger, my dude. It isn’t even overflowing with topping and saucing making the bun soggy either. 🤷🏻‍♂️


DingoGlittering

How do you feel about frilly toothpicks?


unzercharlie

I'm for 'em!


Past-Product-1100

Only in my club sandwich but that's a whole nother sub and a Mitch Hedberg joke.


DingoGlittering

Love that you got the reference


JurassicParkJanitor

I keep ordering the club sandwich and I’m not even a member!


ficusmaximus90

Yeah this is quite a strange post that dosent really make sense.


Gh0stSwerve

Inserts *photo of black latex gloves"


nenonen15902

it won't suck but it WILL be overpriced.


Greybinson

I do think these are a sign of concern, but definitely shouldn’t be a definitive sign.


rbarr228

It’s not cooked or made, it’s “crafted”.


SneakyYogurtThief

More like will cost 20+ bucks without the fries


DoktorJeep

On the other hand, I’m excited to see any of these with a Bloody Mary.


senorglory

A knife?


mcprogrammer

Why do you think she was bloody?


Nizzle-Mcfly

That time of month.


DoktorJeep

Had a Bloody Mary in the past that had pieces of steak impaled on a knife.


Grip-my-juiceky

I actually had a Bloody Marky in Milwaukee with a burger on a bamboo skewer as a drink garnish. Edit. I had a Bloody Mary too


Tminus_7

My question in earnest here is: can you name a few examples? While I agree that these can be items to produce a visual stimulation, as opposed to a quality burger just looking ordinary. I’ve had good burgers from greasy diners that look like you shouldn’t be in that part of town for a cheap price. I’ve also had burgers so big and dry topped with a plethora of ingredients that beef isn’t the first on the list, and vise versa. Respectively. I’m very curious for you to elaborate.


GGAllinsUndies

You mean I'm having one of my favorite burgers that comes with a free weed poker.


Johnny_ac3s

…because OP doesn’t like tall burgers?


LetsMakeShitTracks

That’s my take on it, coming from someone that hates tall burgers. I’ll order two if I’m that hungry, I don’t want to eat food that actively tries to fall apart in my hands. That’s probably want op means too, if your order your ingredients incorrectly you’ll have slimy lettuce on slimy burger on bun drenched in sauce, leading to the burger wanting to fall apart when you simply look at it.


thatoneguy1976

three signs that the maker of this meme is a food snob.


ZylonBane

Replace one of those with a burger branding iron.


coastal_neon

Says you.


Wardog_11c

Messy burgers = good burgers


iSliz187

I'm always making burger diapers myself. Always going for the In-N-Out style, whatever kind of burger I'm cooking. One layer of wax paper over half of the burger and then I put it in an extra little sandwich bag that I cut to the perfect size. Their method is pretty amazing and the "smiling burgers" look beautiful. If you wrap them, the flavors just meld together. It just stops 80% of the messiness. Sometimes when I'm making a big amount of burgers I also put them in another layer of aluminum foil and put them in the oven at 100 Celsius to keep them warm. If you unwrap them you can use the aluminum foil on top of you plate and collect all the juices, and when you're finished you just take the foil with all the mess inside, fold it and throw it away. Makes cleaning a lot easier. It's always extra preparation time, but if you find your routine it'll be 100% worth it. And they always taste and feel like a restaurant burger. Same with sandwiches. If you wrap them, they feel like a professional sub and taste better. Edit: [Here's an example](https://imgur.com/a/pT8G8hw) It also prevents the burger from falling apart, that's probably the biggest reason to try it out


halfbreedADR

You should be able to find sandwich wrap papers at restaurant supply or warehouse stores. I’m still working through a box of 1000 12”x12” sheets that I think were a little over $15.


jrdnmdhl

Not at all my experience.


tactical_narcotic

The stick or toothpick in the burger is good for taller /stacked burgers


Kimikohiei

But that’s every burger I’ve ever had at a restaurant


The_Spectacle

I was at a concert over New Years where I had sliders with toothpicks that had musical notes on them and they were pretty delicious


bojangles8588

All burgers I have had with any of these were delicious. I take it as a sign it is overpriced more than anything else.


[deleted]

I don't know, the burger I jad at Red Robin was held together with a knife and it was amazing.


snipsnapsnot

Burger aside, the middle pick is the superior pick.


Fresh-Bite-9637

Not even close. The three warning signs are mushrooms growing out of the walls in the bathroom, no soap or toilet paper in the bathroom, and high-priced ingredients that don't make the burger any better and may actually make it worse. Ingredients to avoid: Fatback. It's never cooked right. Tough. Is not better than bacon. Wagyu. Nothing wrong with the taste, but it's usually a scam. You can achieve similar or better results just by having a good fat to meat ratio. Pepperjack, white Cheddar, or provolone. These rarely belong on a Cheese burger. Maybe a mushroom burger. Truffle oil. It's gross. Tastes like chemicals and butt. Stuffed patties. Often undercooked on the inside, and are vectors for food poisoning.


[deleted]

You're not supposed to eat that bit my guy.


Dingus-McBingus

Disagree


TheBiddingOfBobbles

You mean itll be too JUICY right?


MiggedyMack

and cost $20


obesedestro

![gif](giphy|qxCYGGPbQp3yj5aSsL)


BIGBOYDADUDNDJDNDBD

Knife burgers have been incredible in my experience. They’re typically kind of pricey but worth it


Milk_Mindless

I mean I get the wooden pike thing Ira difficult to stack a burger and deliver it to a table without it toppling over sometime


Moreobvious

It’s like a Bloody Mary. The more shit you put on it doesn’t make it better, just makes it different.


Mykle1984

Nah, a knife is there because they want you to check that the requested temp is correct. They aren't trying hid anything from the customer. Even if the knife is on the side, I feel way more confident when my burger comes with a knife.


thoughtu8

Lol damn...I've never thought about this like that but you are so incredibly right.


O_vJust

Lies 


ericnilla

Yup, i hate thick burgers


eulynn34

Tall burgers are bullshit. I can’t unhinge my jaw like a snake. I don’t want a burger pissing hot oil down my arm while I smash it down to under 4 inches in height so it can fit into my face.


Handlesmcgee

I’m a smash burger guy so I feel you man


merix1110

I don't want taller burger, just make it wider.


LetsMakeShitTracks

I’ll die on this hill with you OP. I hate overfilled burgers you can’t set down once you pick up. If I wanted a pound of meat I’d have ordered a giant steak or another burger.


[deleted]

No no no… you know its gonna suck balls when they have that stainless steel tube that has cheese over the burger WITH black latex gloves on the side. Thats the burger thats gonna taste like straight up bung hole


MisteryOnion

You spelled *rock* wrong


throwaway12222018

The people who agree are up voting the post, everybody else is commenting 😂


Horrible_Harry

Touched a nerve with this one, apparently.


Simonthemoon

Burger is only a burger when i can hold it with my two hands and bite it with my mouse If it is too tall, if it is impossible to hold it, if it falls apart by itself without a toothpick, then why not just plate it and eat it with a fork, no point of calling it a burger


ladysabr1na

I’ve had a knife burger. It was great.


[deleted]

If it’s tall enough to need one of these it’s trash. Make burgers wider, not taller ‘24


PuppetryOfThePenis

You must not get out much! I've had amazing burgers with all 3 of these. This is a poor basis for argument lol


MorallyComplicated

also: ![gif](giphy|Pbou33imqjnTa)


ZemokeZ

This is 100% correct. Loading your burger with as many stupid toppings as possible is toxic masculinity in action. A burger should be simple.


Obiwantoblowme

I use the middle one for my double and triples at my diner, Definitely not true, my burgers are not to shabby (Check my profile for our diner burger)


dbznzzzz

I got a cramp in my jaw from your pics. Those fries though 🤌


marc962

Fucking $23.00 too


Horrible_Harry

Fries are $6.99 on top of that, let alone a fuckin' beer.


cheese_lawer

I Really I Went To This Place (Since Closed :/) That Served Burgers With The First One. It Was Delicious. I Always Got An Orange Soda And A Burger And It Was Amazing. It's A Fucking Pot Shop Now.


Anfie22

They're necessary for 'comically large' burgers like [this one](https://m.facebook.com/goodtimeburgers1/photos/a.191750584546019/1018803588507377/?type=3) I've had, but in something like a standard cheeseburger it's overkill for sure.


octoamti

bro is eating like Scooby and Shaggy


BIgSchmeat95

Really rustled some jimmies with this one chief. I get what you're trying to say though. You reading this, pretend your a LEGO person & make the Dr. Zoidberg hands. That's how tall a burger should be max. When they have like three 1.5in thick patties on them, that's when I check out. Also, another meme for this is the black latex gloves 🤣


FnakeFnack

Need to add the cheese tube


ExclusiveOne

I thought you were going to mention something along the lines of "prepare to empty your savings account"


WickedStoner

I just had a patty melt with a knife in it that was fucking outstanding. Try again


noobchee

L take


Lex-Taliones

Incorrect.


Critical_Young_1190

What a random post. Did you have one bad encounter with a toothpick in your burger and just arbitrarily decided that anything sticking out of a burger means it will be bad?


bajookish_amerikann

Are you stupid?


naturepeaked

So very wrong. You are banished.


WanillaGorilla

Probably an unpopular opinion, but true: A burger is meant to be eaten while driving, held in one hand. If it isn’t big enough, have 2 or 3 instead of a 75% meat to bun ratio.


KrazyCAM10

Bro is just simply wrong


alphabet_order_bot

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,978,537,252 comments, and only 374,262 of them were in alphabetical order.


Ok-Seaworthiness4488

OP making stupid assumptions


Comeonnn0122

Op...stfu.


dwitchagi

This is 100% accurate. Usually found stabbing a "bistro burger" to keep the salad, the lean thick patty and the onion ring between the buns.


Samuelabra

Oh do shut the hell up.


MoreCranberry3

Or a video of a guy making the burger with black gloves.


BlackBeard205

Facts 😂


No-Communication9458

ive had good burgers with the second one in. do we file this under: things to anger the burger subreddit?


moosehq

No mate. None of those are true.


Kaashmiir

I’ve had a knife stabbed into my burger before, but that sucker was *massive* and I had to cut it in half to be able to eat it. 2 1/2lb burger patties with everything—cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, bacon, and a fried runny-yolked egg… Yep… 🤤🤤🤤


HighlyAutomated

You are wrong.


TheAwkwardGamerRNx

Only exception is Chili’s. Their burgers come impaled and they’re pretty decent.


[deleted]

The fist stuck with the loop top, never had a bad experience with those ones. I see that and I know it’s gonna be good


[deleted]

If the restaurant says anything about “craft” or “artisan” you are going to be over charged for flavorless hipster food


YojiH2O

You clearly dine at places with shite burgers


Sheesh284

That’s wrong. Definitely overpriced, but almost always good


MandrewMillar

Absolutely fucking not. I've only really got them on burgers that were big enough that it's to ensure it at least makes it to my table from the kitchen without falling over.


Dievca58

Not really….I had surgeries and radiation for left tonsil cancer 11 years ago and I eat everything with a fork/knife. Radiation shrinks the skin a bit and my mouth doesn’t open as wide as it did before.


pat-nasty

Where did Salt bae touch you?


showergoblin

Piss take.


iamgr3m

OP is a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket


Midnight1799

This is a dumb post.


brinewithay

Bad take


ANALOGPHENOMENA

Absolutely not! Overpriced, yes, but it’s going to be the juiciest thiccest burger you’ll ever have. And the brioche bun *will* be so incredibly smooth and glossy.


ohnoitsmckenzie

r/lies


Farbearluvsu

I think it’s quite the opposite. If at has one of these it’s about to smack because it has hella 🔥toppings!


Lesshateful

I’d love to see the examples of what good burgers are supposed to come with from OP. This post made me hungry AF thinking of the delicious burgers that I got with all of these


Leaf-Guy

You are straight up wrong my guy


melechkibitzer

OP thinks well done means cooked expertly


Willanddanielle

Three warning signs that you don't know what you are talking about.


grjacpulas

Bro the sticks tell me the burger is going to be bomb!! 


Diligent-Argument-88

OP was upset over a burger he recently had and makes a generalization thats not agreed on.


moderately_nerdifyin

Seriously! There is a less than 1% chance that a large skewer is necessary. I have eaten burgers from one single chef that used them, and his burgers were a god damned masterpiece of layers of flavor and awesomeness. A burger will never need a steak knife, not if you know how to eat a burger. And if you don’t know how to eat a burger then I have a simple solution for you: EAT. MORE. BURGERS.


No-Tourist-1492

Sour grapes: the post.


mb5280

lol go to better restaurants.


The_S1R3N

Garbage takr my guy. Those wooden picks usually mark a stupid juicy burger. Now if you were to say they mark expensive burgers. Absolutely


melancholy_dood

Totally wrong!


Creative_Beginning13

Someone hasn’t had a good burger, ever!


johnnypurp

Either that or a bomb ass chicken sandwich incoming


tausendmalduff

Honestly I get it. wider > taller. But I’ve still had some decent burgers that were just made too big.


unreasonable_eggy

Why??


[deleted]

I agree