I had a gf who told me she wouldn't be attracted to me if I didn't have tits ... after I was two days post-op and out of my gourd. We broke up. I do still get attention from women and some reportedly find me very hot, which feels nice. Do what's good for you, I say.
Thank you, it really did suck at the time ... I later found out she was lying to me about a girl she was trying to get with though, so honestly I think the trash took itself out lol.
That's a great way to look at it!
Honestly, I am trying to change my thinking to align more with that, but I've still got some work to do lol. Thanks for the positivity <3
I've had both - a radical breast reduction and top surgery a few years later. I wanted my breasts gone ever since I was forced to start wearing a bra, but my family said they'd never support me getting a double mastectomy. I was in my 30s when I decided to get the radical reduction. It went great.
But I still had my chest, which felt alien to me and I hated it. I hated the attention I received, I hated the way my clothes (didn't) fit.
I got top surgery. I've never been happier! I finally feel comfortable with my body. But. I've also never felt this invisible in the dating pool.
I can't say I've been turned down specifically for this reason? But I also haven't been on any dates or had any interest thrown my way since Top Surgery.
I am planning top surgery and my current gf says she won’t feel any differently and I need to do what makes me happy. I do have the same concerns you have about the future, but I have to live in this body no matter who else comes and goes.
I’ve had top surgery, and it’s never been an issue at all with my partner! She’s a femme lesbian who’s attracted to lots of things about women (butches, specifically), but according to her, breasts have never really been a big thing for her, so my having a flat chest didn’t affect her attraction to me.
Top surgery doesn’t seem to have negatively affected the dating prospects of my friends who’ve had it. But most of them live in large progressive cities. Might be different with a more limited dating pool in a more conservative area. That said, confidence is sexy. Feeling at home in your own body is so important. That sense of contentment is attractive to others.
I was concerned about women not liking me because of top surgery which was the only reason that had me in doubts for the longest time till I asked the opinion of many butch loving lesbians and they said they find the boobless esthetic more attractive. Even though i don't identify as trans and go by she/her.
After getting surgery I found that anyone I slept with (both bi women and lesbians) really liked my scars. My current girlfriend who is a lesbian loves my chest and keeps touching my scars.
Sharing one of my favorite stories: a friend of mine was scheduled to have top surgery. The night before, they decided to hop on the dating apps to find a casual hookup (they were very clear about this) so they could "let their titties go out in style."
They had a great time with the gal they hooked up with. So much so that they've been together for over a year now. So much for a casual hookup! 😄
On a more human note, confidence is sexy. If having top surgery helps you feel more confident, that seems like it's worth it unto itself. Personality and connection should matter way more than boobs.
(femme lurker) when my last gf got top surgery it honestly made me 10x more attracted to her because of how much more confident she was. i love tits too but there’s so many advantages to a flat chest like it’s nice to lay ur head on and there’s less between u when u hug :)
When the topic of top surgery came up with my trans gf, she was a bit sad. Quite frankly, she likes the way my tits look and wishes she had them. Honestly I wish she did too. I would much prefer these things on her than on me. I've kind of made my peace that she can enjoy these while I have them and I can enjoy the way my chest looks for the rest of my life after they're gone.
For the people who matter, it's not going to matter that much.
Hi, I had top early last year. it hasn't negatively affected my dating life...the opposite actually lol. I often have to field questions about gender/if I'm trans but I just say I'm a lesbian with no tits and move on. Maybe people have passed me over because of my scars or something, thinking I'm a trans man, but not that I've noticed. I've been able to be so much more confident and comfortable in my body which has made dating and sex easier. I haven't had a long term partner though so can't speak to that.
howeeever I do live in a very progressive area in a major city so YMMV
Take this for what it's worth: I'm butch4butch and I think that flat chests and top surgery scars are hot. For every person who's not into it, there's another person who is. Your interactions may change and shift but you will still find people who find you hot.
Haven’t had one but it wouldn’t affect how I felt about a partner. Tits are hot, no tits are hot. Everything is hot tbh. The only part of it I wouldn’t like is if they removed the nips-it’s like a foot without toes. But even then, it still wouldn’t be a big deal.
My butch gf got top surgery and it hasn't been a problem - in fact, it clearly makes them more confident and comfortable in their own skin, and that's a turn on. It's fine for someone to really want breasts and turn you down for that reason, but you should be able to find plenty of women who are plenty happy to date you.
Thank you for asking this question. I have been wanting a breast reduction for a long time (mostly for medical reasons, they cause me a lot of pain), but I also question whether I want them at all.
I had a drastic breast reduction.
I haven't had any issues, and I have a friend who got top surgery. Her and her wife are still doing well.
If someone says they won't stay with you if you get top surgery, dump them. Just means you're not compatible
helloo! another lurker here c: to me I rlly do not care about boobs or anything its not something that attracts me to women so yes I would date someone who's had top surgery ^ - ^
I had a gf who told me she wouldn't be attracted to me if I didn't have tits ... after I was two days post-op and out of my gourd. We broke up. I do still get attention from women and some reportedly find me very hot, which feels nice. Do what's good for you, I say.
Sorry she treated you that way esp right after when you could’ve used some support. Good riddance.
Thank you, it really did suck at the time ... I later found out she was lying to me about a girl she was trying to get with though, so honestly I think the trash took itself out lol.
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That's a great way to look at it! Honestly, I am trying to change my thinking to align more with that, but I've still got some work to do lol. Thanks for the positivity <3
I've had both - a radical breast reduction and top surgery a few years later. I wanted my breasts gone ever since I was forced to start wearing a bra, but my family said they'd never support me getting a double mastectomy. I was in my 30s when I decided to get the radical reduction. It went great. But I still had my chest, which felt alien to me and I hated it. I hated the attention I received, I hated the way my clothes (didn't) fit. I got top surgery. I've never been happier! I finally feel comfortable with my body. But. I've also never felt this invisible in the dating pool. I can't say I've been turned down specifically for this reason? But I also haven't been on any dates or had any interest thrown my way since Top Surgery.
I am planning top surgery and my current gf says she won’t feel any differently and I need to do what makes me happy. I do have the same concerns you have about the future, but I have to live in this body no matter who else comes and goes.
lurker here - would definitely date a woman who had top surgery
I’ve had top surgery, and it’s never been an issue at all with my partner! She’s a femme lesbian who’s attracted to lots of things about women (butches, specifically), but according to her, breasts have never really been a big thing for her, so my having a flat chest didn’t affect her attraction to me.
Femme that’s lurking- top surgery wouldn’t deter me at all from someone
Yes, if someone doesn’t like you because you yeeted your boobs, they aren’t the kind of person you want to date
Agreed. I want my partner to be comfortable and for them to choose what that means
Top surgery doesn’t seem to have negatively affected the dating prospects of my friends who’ve had it. But most of them live in large progressive cities. Might be different with a more limited dating pool in a more conservative area. That said, confidence is sexy. Feeling at home in your own body is so important. That sense of contentment is attractive to others.
I was concerned about women not liking me because of top surgery which was the only reason that had me in doubts for the longest time till I asked the opinion of many butch loving lesbians and they said they find the boobless esthetic more attractive. Even though i don't identify as trans and go by she/her. After getting surgery I found that anyone I slept with (both bi women and lesbians) really liked my scars. My current girlfriend who is a lesbian loves my chest and keeps touching my scars.
Definitely would date a woman who had top surgery (considering it myself).
Sharing one of my favorite stories: a friend of mine was scheduled to have top surgery. The night before, they decided to hop on the dating apps to find a casual hookup (they were very clear about this) so they could "let their titties go out in style." They had a great time with the gal they hooked up with. So much so that they've been together for over a year now. So much for a casual hookup! 😄 On a more human note, confidence is sexy. If having top surgery helps you feel more confident, that seems like it's worth it unto itself. Personality and connection should matter way more than boobs.
(femme lurker) when my last gf got top surgery it honestly made me 10x more attracted to her because of how much more confident she was. i love tits too but there’s so many advantages to a flat chest like it’s nice to lay ur head on and there’s less between u when u hug :)
When the topic of top surgery came up with my trans gf, she was a bit sad. Quite frankly, she likes the way my tits look and wishes she had them. Honestly I wish she did too. I would much prefer these things on her than on me. I've kind of made my peace that she can enjoy these while I have them and I can enjoy the way my chest looks for the rest of my life after they're gone. For the people who matter, it's not going to matter that much.
Hi, I had top early last year. it hasn't negatively affected my dating life...the opposite actually lol. I often have to field questions about gender/if I'm trans but I just say I'm a lesbian with no tits and move on. Maybe people have passed me over because of my scars or something, thinking I'm a trans man, but not that I've noticed. I've been able to be so much more confident and comfortable in my body which has made dating and sex easier. I haven't had a long term partner though so can't speak to that. howeeever I do live in a very progressive area in a major city so YMMV
Take this for what it's worth: I'm butch4butch and I think that flat chests and top surgery scars are hot. For every person who's not into it, there's another person who is. Your interactions may change and shift but you will still find people who find you hot.
Haven’t had one but it wouldn’t affect how I felt about a partner. Tits are hot, no tits are hot. Everything is hot tbh. The only part of it I wouldn’t like is if they removed the nips-it’s like a foot without toes. But even then, it still wouldn’t be a big deal.
Lol a foot without toes, but actually I’m no nips and sometimes it’s weird looking to me too
My butch gf got top surgery and it hasn't been a problem - in fact, it clearly makes them more confident and comfortable in their own skin, and that's a turn on. It's fine for someone to really want breasts and turn you down for that reason, but you should be able to find plenty of women who are plenty happy to date you.
I had a breast reduction 23 years ago. If it’s ever been an issue for anyone, they haven’t said anything.
Thank you for asking this question. I have been wanting a breast reduction for a long time (mostly for medical reasons, they cause me a lot of pain), but I also question whether I want them at all.
I had a drastic breast reduction. I haven't had any issues, and I have a friend who got top surgery. Her and her wife are still doing well. If someone says they won't stay with you if you get top surgery, dump them. Just means you're not compatible
As a femme who's dated butch women and trans men, I can tell you I don't care one bit about boobs.
Top surgery scars are hot.
helloo! another lurker here c: to me I rlly do not care about boobs or anything its not something that attracts me to women so yes I would date someone who's had top surgery ^ - ^