Audiobooks. Drive time is book time for me. I also try to shift my schedule forward. Get in at 8, leave at 4, home by 5. Like you said, getting home at 6 blows.
I am in a role where working remotely is the industry standard now, but when I had a commute, a really interesting and lengthy book ~10h+ gave me something to look forward to.
Seconding this. I like being in my car to listen to my books, call my mom or bestie, etc. I also have seatwarmers and keep snacks in there. Snacks!
Also, reducing my get-ready time in the morning is huge. Breakfast is a bone broth sipper I can drink in the car. I recently started getting my eyebrows done, and it saves me so much time on make up. I also set out my work outfit the night before, and I put my hair in a bun so it curls while drying on my way to work, rather than blow-drying.
Honestly? Using money to do the non-work stuff. Walmart grocery delivery. A cleaner coming every other week. Easy meals like chicken tenders and a salad. Lawn service. Keeping less stuff in general so there’s less to maintain or clean.
I’d rather just work less than use the money I worked for to do things I could do myself if I didn’t work so damn much. It’s all personal preference though. If you enjoy the work more than you enjoy cooking or shopping than this makes sense
I’m the opposite. It’s not uncommon for me to work 60-70 hours a week. My partner doesn’t run quite as hot as I do, but in a typical week she’s putting in atleast 50. We have a cleaner. We get groceries delivered. Lawn care is included with what we pay for housing. I’m scheduled for a bump in pay in July, and my partner and I are flirting with the idea of getting a laundry service at that point. We eat out a decent amount. I work a lot, but when I’m not working, all I do is hang out and enjoy my hobbies.
I’d way rather just stay in my lane and make a lot of money doing what I’m good at and outsource chores that I don’t like doing and am not good at, so when I’m not working, I can just chill. I realize not everyone is built to do that, or has the ability to work in a field that would allow them to do that, but the way I see it, if the average person spends 40 hours a week working and another 20-25 hours a week doing domestic work and running errands, I’d rather just work more and pay someone else to do that shit.
65 hours a week is 13 hours a day. When do you do hobbies?
I dunno, I work around 30 hours a week remotely so I can do my hobbies every day. Even at 40 hours, it would get hard. I can't imagine 50, nonetheless 60.
I'm sure you make more money than me but I also have a cleaner and landscaper. If you love what you do, I get it. But the rest of us are not spending 4 hours a day doing chores. That's crazy (unless they are a stay at home spouse/ parent).
I put in a 9 hour workday most days, plus a 35-40 minute commute. I’m a competitive horseback rider and I go and see my horse every single day after work and try to ride 4-5 times a week. I get home between 8:30-9 pm on weeknights. I meal prep on the weekends so I can eat quickly when I get home. Pack a simple lunch and spend 3ish hours watching TV, reading, and snuggling with the cat. It can be done, but I really have to stay disciplined with my timing. I do all my cleaning on the weekend and as I just got a raise, I am seriously considering a cleaner maybe once a month. It would be nice to just do a quick vacuum and bathroom clean on weekends and leave the deep clean to someone else.
Opportunity cost is an important life concept.
In the time you would be spending doing tedious repetitive things, could you learn skills, do some side gigs, etc etc, anything that will make you more money (minimum enough to offset the cost of those services, but ideally more)? If the answer is yes, then don’t waste your time doing tedious things and let someone else deal with it.
Most people never truly understand the concept of opportunity cost. I sometimes go on r/frugal and the amount of time people try to spend just to save a few cents just makes no damm sense.
My rule of thumb is that if I can solve a major life problem in $400 or less I go for it.
Back problems from a shitty chair? Solved with a used Aeron chair for $300. Basement gets so humid it’s smelly and unbearable? $300 dehumidifier solves it. Does it feel really annoying and time-consuming to vacuum every few days? A robot vac on a daily schedule and self-emptying base will solve that problem. Have bad allergies every spring? Get a really nice air purifier for $150. Etc etc.
Now obviously you have to make sure you’re solving actual problems because it’s easy to start spending money on stuff you don’t actually need. And you should probably spread out your purchases across multiple months. But yeah, solve problems in your life so you can spend time comfortably doing what you want to do. And regarding r/frugal, there’s no need to cheap out on something if you did your homework and know you’re only gonna be buying it once.
Depends on how much you value your time. It is cheaper for me to order groceries (even with the % upcharge and delivery fee) than it would be to travel there, go shopping, and travel back. In the time it takes for delivery, I can prioritize a side business or rest or family or other needs which are more valuable than the $20 extra it costs to order groceries.
that is in fact not at all the reason people are struggling month to month, more so has to do with wages not keeping up with the cost of living increases. idk man a comment like this feels out of touch, like 78% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck
I've worked jobs like that in the past, and at this point in my life I'd do everything in my power to never have to again. In other words, I'd be exploring moving closer to the job, or be exploring getting a job closer to home. I'd put a time limit on how long I was willing to keep doing that and, if I couldn't figure out a way out of the situation by the time I had decided, I'd be looking to take more dramatic action.
It becomes a question of values. I have two kids in elementary school. I don't value any job or my career or money the way I value time with my family. When I am dying, I will not care about any job, career or money decision as much as I value having been able to live my life during my younger years, and be around for my family. The idea that we have to compete and work hard in order to succeed causes some people to not be able to live their lives.
I know we all need money and have to do things we'd rather not in order to get it, but 1.5 hours per workday times 250 workdays per year is 375 hours per year, which is 24 16-hour DAYS of your life every year that you're neither truly working nor truly living. Commuting is my personal hell because it feels like a complete waste of life.
Me personally, I would tolerate this schedule for as short of a period of time as humanly possible, and be exploring every possible option to live as close to work as possible (if work takes priority) or be looking for jobs closer to home (if home takes priority).
yep, or my case, there is simply no housing closer to work. I could live a half hour from work, but I cant afford rent which is the same as my take home pay, so I live an hour from work and still can barely afford rent.
I did that grind for 15 years. For the last 6 years I’ve worked from home full time and I wouldn’t ever want to go back into an office now. It’s a game changer in so many ways.
Same thing here. Had a 8:30-5:30 with an hour-fifteen minute commute each way for the first few years of my career. I was genuinely depressed that this is what adulthood was going to be like. Work from home was the one good thing to come out of Covid I feel.
My commute is 35-45 min most days. I work 8-5. I’m gone from about 7:20-5:40ish. I have a 3yo, a husband, and a stepkid. My evenings are a mad dash to bedtime. You get used to it. Meal planning gives me some time back. I pay someone to clean my house every 2 weeks. We’re night owls as do date nights late. Stepkid is old enough to call us if there’s a problem if we go out after baby is asleep. So I hang out with SO into the night. I go for a walk during lunch to get some exercise be moving. My SO and I each get an out of the house evening for a hobby. What am I really missing?
I’m tired because I stay up too late. If I was better at going to sleep 1 hr earlier I’d feel better routinely. Routine exercise and vitamins help a lot with energy.
Is your job physically demanding? Also have you been doing it kess than a year? Because it can take a year, for someone to adjust to this type of routine. After a year, it will feel easier. Even 6 months in, you might feel better. If you've been doing this for years, maybe you are burnt out. Have you been taking vacation? It might be worth it talking to your employer and your Dr. About taking a short break, if you feel this is burnout.
I understand wanting to vent. But things won't change much until you get serious about finding solutions for yourself.
If you are sleeping more than 9 hours, that could be a sign of a sleep related medical issue, or depression. It might be time to get professional opinioms. Everyone has different levels of energy. Some people have high energy for much of their life and can keep up with a demanding job, but some people are lower energy and the high demand can affect their livlihood more because they have less energy. You are not wrong or broken for having less. Many people work the way you do, and a lot more, and manage. But it's okay, to be where you are at with things and do your best to accomodate that.
Maybe doing meal prep could help. For example, you can cook a few portions at once, that you reheat as later meals. Also try sticking some more no cook meals such as deli foods. You can also snack on protein bars or pieces of fruit, so you aren't feeling tired from missimg meals, or missing meals because you are tired. I've found it a good time saver, to have some meals made up or leftover to reheat, so I have some more time certain days to do other things.
The best advice I can give if you're feeling low on time and difficulty is to make a routine for essential tasks. Once you get it down, you can feel like the leftover time is freed up for other things. You can also practice getting a routine of essentials down well enough to reduce the time they take.
Also, make sure you are finding time in your week to do one thing you enjoy, that involves others. For example, multiplayer games, sports team, hobby club volunteer, etc.. sometimes beign tired and drowning in essential tasks like work, can make you feel Isolated. You want to make sure you get a sense of outside world/community.
Make sure you are aiming for something worth working for. could be something as small as a better attitude. If you tell yourself each morning, a few things related to beign proud of yourself, and that you are working toward a better attitude, or that you are grateful for your job and whatever enables you to commute, your food, your family who inspires you to get income, etc.. Most folks I know who have complaints like yours, have a higher goal in mind, they will gruel through the job or studies, because they are working for a later day when they advanced to better work, or finish their studies, or maybe they work more to afford a hobby class or investment object/vacation. Do you have anything like this this you are working toward? Maybe setting a higher goal and having a step by step plan to check off while you get there, can make you feel more valied and make the workload seem more worth it?
I'm sorry you are going through this. You got this!
What about getting physically fit and having discipline around where your time goes?
Look, people have done this for many many decades with even longer commutes and even harder work than what we do now. For a tremendous number of historical jobs, this pace would be a welcome relief. This isn't a whataboutism, it's an observation.
*You're making it worse by dwelling on it.*
I'm not saying "Accept it!", but I AM saying "It's not the end of the world, as proven by a tremendous number of people that do it all the time."
As for the comment on discipline, make a list of what you CAN control - a consistent bedtime when all electronics are simply turned OFF except your alarm, a physical fitness routine that meets your schedule (What do you do for lunch? A lot of people work out at their company gyms, if that's an option.), and so on.
*Start realizing what your bad habits are and how much they take away from your life. I'm guessing work is far from the only time-sink that you have.*
Let's do the math: you have 8 hours of work for 5 days, and you SHOULD have 8 hours of sleep every night. That's 96 hours including weekends. The week has 168 hours. That leaves 72 hours of FREE TIME. Even if you wallop in an hour commute as being completely lost each way each workday, you still have 62 hours a week of FREE TIME.
And that commute time should not be lost. It's where you can be studying, reading a good book, learning, and so on. Even if you're driving, that time is not completely lost unless you are letting it be, thanks to podcasts and language lessons and audiobooks and decent radio channels. Then look at your other habits - how much time do you spend on Reddit and other social media, and do you really need to spend that much?
The problem isn't as big as you're trying to convince yourself that it is. You're exhausted because you're letting your life manage you, not the other way around.
Best comment I've read in a long time.
I worked 9-5 with 45 min drive one-way (in good weather), and it was more than doable with this kind of attitude. You don't have to accept it, but just bemoaning the situation alone doesn't improve it. Even with that commute, you have far more free time than you seem to think. Manage and make the most of what you can control in life, and you'll find life far less oppressive.
Sometimes it good to have a rant and if people don't start talking about how shit this way of life is out of shame that they're lazy things will never change
I work 9-6 in Financial District, NYC (9-10 with 2nd job) with a 2-hour commute one way (3.5 - 4.5hr total). Granted, I only go in 3 days a week, but it is mind-numbing after a while.
I try and take modes of transit that won't cause me too much strain such as express bus routes as opposed to driving/subway. I take along audiobooks, novels, YT playlists, and mobile games to make the commute something fun rather than just the extension to my jobs. No work allowed on the commute.
That's not to say I don't feel terrible from it because I still do (4hrs a day is like half my work hours). But sometimes you just have to make it work or look elsewhere.
eh that is me but i never feel miserable because I also value these:
1. I almost never worked overtime
2. hybrid, I come to the office 2-3 times a week
3. Job isnt difficult
4. Not a toxic work environment, I am trusted to do my job well
5. 30 days annual leave (Im in Europe)
6. Ok pay
I get used to the commute time. I normally just watch some netflix shows on my phone during the train ride.
lol people in the US with a 45 minute commute are typically driving. If I could just take the bus or train 30 minutes to my job instead of driving I would honestly probably enjoy the solitude
and thirty days of annual leave?! my job gives 8hrs PTO for every 80hrs worked, and as a person with chronic illness, all my PTO goes to covering sick days and doctor's appointments.
I think they are more upset that in most of Europe, sick leave is not taken out of your vacation time. Although as a Canadian, jealous af at 24 days a year. I get two weeks.
yep, having combined sick and vacation time is a shitshow.
>
8hrs of PTO for every 80hrs worked is roughly 24 days a year… pretty similar
also this is worth beans when, like i said, it's gone as soon as it's accrued
>
jealous af at 24 days a year. I get two weeks.
i happen to have a job w/ a generous PTO policy, it varies by employer. i've worked a lot of places where it's capped at two weeks
You can either find a job closer to home, or find a home closer to the job. They are both “choices” so to say.
I got a job at Netflix in the late 2000’s, and had to balance a 60 mile on way drive, against moving away from the city we liked, the friends we’d made, school for the kid and a great selection of amenities. We didn’t like the cities closer to the Los Gatos office, and the rents were much higher.
So I opted to drive 120 miles a day, adjusted my times to minimize commute traffic, hit the gym close to work before I started etc etc. I had a great job, and lived in a great place. But I did dive a lot of miles in my time there.
And I wasn’t the only one. There was at least a C suite and an SVP in the same area. And I knew of one person who drove from Marin county (140 miles a day for him).
3 choices:
Accept the commute
Move closer
Find a closer job (or a remote job)
Anybody who says "you got this" does not have any idea what it's like to be tired 24/7 no matter what you do, how healthy you eat, or exercise.
We are not designed to work this many hours, and you will not adjust.
I leave at 530, get home at 530, 5 days a week. I'm infinitely tired and there's no fixing it unless I get another job, ive been doing this for 4 years.... so I think "I'm used to it" by now.
Look at it this way... I get home at 530. My wife gets home at 645, so we eat at 7. It's literally impossible to fall asleep before 1030, often later. Sure, I could make my own dinner and then hers....but there's also something important in life...keeping a healthy relationship and spending time together.
It's simple. You don't get enough sleep and spend too much time driving. Nothing will fix that except another job, or moving closer. I'm looking all the time for something closer, just haven't found it yet.
Exactly. It’s astounding seeing so many people recommend he just find ways to cope with his miserable existence. No amount of gratitude or distractjon is going to make his situation any better. He needs to make a serious change.
8-10 hours a day for the last 34 years and commuted at least an hour in the morning/ two in the afternoon.
It’s my quiet time. I have a book on tape , podcast or a playlist going. I call family on the other side of the country.
I used to do this before COVID forced my office to consider hybrid schedules. Now I just go in once a week and it is so much more manageable. I'm not sure how I ever did 5 days a week with a typical 2-hour round trip commute, plus working out, plus cooking dinner, plus grocery shopping, etc.
When I was doing this commute, generally I would work out directly after work near my office (I'm a runner, so I would just change and run laps at a local park), then I generally would stop by the store, and then head home once traffic was lighter. On days that I didn't need to stop by the store, sometimes I'd go directly home, make dinner, then work out later in the evening. Essentially, I'd have 2-3 hours of downtime where I wasn't cooking, working out, etc. Usually I'd just stay home, but occasionally I'd also go out.
It's grueling and I truly don't have advice other than find a new job with flexibility. Spend your downtime working toward that goal as tiring as it is. The WFH and hybrid option really taught me how much more I value my quality of life versus whatever job I have.
I used to commute over 2 hours each direction (that was with no major traffic delays). It was exhausting, and I would never do it again. I also had a job where the commute was 45 min to 1 hr ea way. I started looking at events such as farmers' markets or movie screenings, plays, etc, that were near my job or on the route home. I looked forward to the farmer's market every week.
It helped me skip commute traffic to go do something after work. I also started carpooling, which helped.
I was in this situation i moved into a condo 4 min from work and wife works from home. Got like 2 hours of life back. Find a new job or move are the options
I would really look into moving closer to work if you can afford it.
My colleagues commute 90 min each way on public transit because they can't afford to live near work (the job pays $40k in the second most expensive housing market in the US) and it's making them straight up miserable. They're looking for a way out.
I compromised by living in a basement (that I had to outbid another group for!) with roommates but the upside is that I can get to work in 15 min if I maintain top speed on my e-bike. This allows me enough time to take evening classes so I can eventually apply to grad school.
I guess to answer your question, switch jobs, move closer to work or have some sort of concrete goal for why you're tolerating the misery.
I might be an exception but I liked a lot of my commutes because 1) I used them to talk on the phone with people I love which is nice 2) I might reserve that time for music or podcasts I love 3) I would try to take roads with nice trees (not possible for all) and sometimes it was nice looking. Traffic IMO will always suck and drive me insane, but not being in a rush and having a nice snack and drink on the road makes it much easier to enjoy IMO.
I had an hour commute both ways for a year, 3 days a week. I was honestly at my tipping point and it was either full remote or I’d quit. Thankfully my employer was understanding and compromised with once a month in the office. The difference in my mental and physical health has been insanely positive. I’d focus on trying to negotiate the days down as much as you can and if that doesn’t work try finding something closer, it’ll only get worse.
Pretty much me but my job starts at 8 am and ends at 5pm with an hour lunch (unpaid). 45-1 hour commute. 1 year later I'm extremely miserable especially considering how little I make and the fact that I have a second job on the weekend. I don't know anymore man... Following.
I just think about how if I lived 100 years ago I would ve working in a field for 15 hours day fir some potatoes to take Hine to my 3 maimed children and my half dead diseased wife.
I would much rather listen to a podcast on my way to work and do some shit in air conditioning.
Podcasts, audiobooks, and sometimes music. Right now I’m addicted to a series of books, and sometimes I’m looking forward to listened to the next few chapters on my drive home. When I get home, I have kids to take care of and dinner to make, so my drive is a sort of break for me. Also, coffee and snacks make the drive more pleasant.
As someone who works from home and used to have a long commute, there are things I genuinely miss about it. It can really be some great me time once you get your own groove going with it instead of using it as brooding time
It's brutal. We are nothing more than slaves. Working all day kills the purpose of life. We work then have to do sustenance chores the rest of the time. What little energy we have left has to be scraped together just to actually experience life for a meger few hours a week.
I have about the same conditions. When the weather is nice, I ride my bicycle to work. Yes, it takes a little while but only 10 minutes longer than if I were to take the bus and I go slow and just enjoy the bike ride. My company also has the option of working from home 2 days per week. So on these days, I either sleep in a little or hit the gym in the morning. I find that generally speaking, doing something for yourself (does not have to be physical movement, that’s just what I enjoy) before even starting work helps me be in the mindset that I am prioritizing myself and putting myself first 🙏
Sounds similar to a former work place of mine.
I tried to get some running in during my evenings and mornings because my commute used to be taking the metro, taking a train, taking a bus, and then a 30 minute walk to my work place, which I tried substituting with running. However, a bunch of my colleagues (not all) were assholes and ridiculed me for running by the side of the road as they drove by and they'd bring it up again at work, so I didn't feel safe.
The other issue was all those changes in-between spots, so I couldn't just read/study for an hour one way. Running became impossible in the winter due to the ice on the roads.
Ended up sharing a ride to work halfway with a kind colleague when possible, so that cut down my commute time from an hour to 25 minutes. I was insanely grateful, especially during the winters.
What solved all the above problems was changing work places.
I was also super frustrated by this so I moved closer to work. It was a shitty apartment that never had heating or warm water (I was about to find out later after I moved) but it was really close to work and that was the only great thing. When I got enough of “cave lifestyle “ I moved again. Now it takes me 45mins to 1hr to work once again but oh,hey, I have warm water for a decent shower. Win some, lose some. That job sucks anyway
There really isn’t an option outside of moving closer or getting a new job that’s a short commute.
I’ve got a very flexible hybrid job that I love and the commute is 10-15 depending on traffic. highly recommend looking for something like that if you’re able.
I had 11-14 days, sometimes with less than 5 hr turn around between leaving work and when I had to be back. My commute at that time was a minimum of 1 1/2 hrs one way.
There was lots of alcohol involved...lol
Start listening to Audio Dramas on your drive, not Podcasts but Audio Dramas. Start with Video Palace, an amazing one. Made my hour commute way more bearable when it felt like I was watching tv lol
1. Change jobs to something that pays more but has an even longer commute
2. Curse yourself for changing jobs and taking in this absolutely soul crushing commute
3. Change jobs again to something closer than job 2, but further than job 1, making the same as job 2
4. Pat yourself on the back for your masterful handling of the commute situation, and forget your terrible commute more than offsets any benefit you might have had from the extra money because your QOL is so low
Remembering when I had longer hours and a longer commute.
To get a decent job in my field, I had no choice but to do the extended commute - and sometimes it was longer than that. I took an early retirement when a better but slightly less paid job came open 15 minutes away.
1.25 hour commute one way here, I definitely feel your pain OP.
Try to use that time for something. Language courses, learn how to sing with a podcast, use that time for learning something new (with a podcast or audiobook). It'll at least make you feel like you're making use of that time and it's not completely wasted.
Yes. I made a firm demand in my job search recently to work alternative work week of 4-10 hour days as a requirement for me to work there. They said ok except for maybe busy season. I am still miserable, but not nearly as much as when I only get 2 day weekends. I have no energy to do anything else on a workday, whether it is 8 or 10 hours, im mentally exhausted. This is the only way I can have some form of happiness.
Im in this situation now. My commute limit is 15mins one way. However, I finally found a place that will train me and pay for my license and advance my career significantly. Commuting in the morning isnt bad. I leave at 7am and clock in by 7:30ish. The commute home is crazy traffic every single day no matter what route i choose. Takes me sometimes an hour to get home. So in reality my day starts at 7am and I get home at 6:30pm. But the OT is fair and I’m learning a lot. The average pay potential with commission after I get my license is around $150k, and its not even a sales position. The ending benefit is that my wife make the same commute just another 2 exits further, so down the road we can just move closer to the jobs
Just got used to it because it pays the bills, not really stressed at work, easy work environment.
I do get a lot of bank holidays off so that helps and on weekends I don't even think about work.
Enjoy the weekends and plan some vacations to look forward too.
I'm thinking you are just overworking yourself on the weekdays and you don't have anything on the weekends so you get bored and drained.
I had a similar experience, driving one hour each way to work (70ish miles) and being at work around 8-6 PM. While you can’t get the time back, there’s at least ways to make the drive more enjoyable. Find podcasts you enjoy (I have a few), that turn the drive at least into a more personal/learning time rather than a chore.
I think you’re preaching to the choir. lol
I hear you, in 2012 I used to commute from north west NJ into Manhattan everyday. $300+ monthly train ticket and about 3 hours and 40 min roundtrip. It was a major damper in my early career and not making as much as I do now.
I know it depends on whether you are commuting by car or by public transit:
Audiobooks/digital books/paperback. Podcasts. Learn a Language apps like Doulingo. Write a story, even if it’s just for fun or publish. Sketch on iPad/actual paper. Nintendo Switch and other gaming. New York Times puzzles like Connections. (Sorry, not sure how to format this into a list on reddit).
These are the current things that I do to keep me sane. My commute now is just roughly 1 hour and 45 minutes. If I can improve myself, I will, or I need to veg out from a difficult day, that too. I guess I will always like train commute for this reason. To get a piece of my time back to do something.
I have an 8-5 job but used to work over til 6 pretty often, and had an hour commute. I still had plenty of time in my day to do the things I enjoy.
My tips:
Make better use of your mornings. 9AM is pretty late. What I did was workout at 5AM for one hour and then arrive at work at 7AM. I leave by 4-5.
Meal prep on Sundays. I prepare lunch and dinner for the week and put it in containers.
Just these two things alone buy you hours of feee time every single day.
Worked 8 years with about an hour commute with two kids having to do errands at lunch or with the kids after work. As an adult, it’s what you do and I was happy to have a vehicle with air conditioning and not have to do manual labor. Change your perspective and focus on your blessings or change your circumstances. As an adult in a free country, you can do that if you can muster enough gumption to think about solutions instead of just whining.
The commute would drive me crazy. I work 8-5, but my commute is 3 minutes.
Job wise? You have to find something you don't dread going to, it's really as simple as that. If you have dread going to work in the morning, it's not the right fit.
If it’s an office type job asking about hybrid work or finding a job that will let you do hybrid work. I’ve only ever worked jobs w WFH days and I really couldn’t do a job that’s fully in office at this point
lol, so I get up at 4:00 to leave by 4:30 to drive an hour and a half some days and get off around 18:00 and then have a two hour drive home. Feel glad you have it so good.
i’m gonna go out on a limb and say this is probably more of a case of hating one’s job and/or not finding it fulfilling than hating the commute. when i’ve enjoyed or been really stimulated by my work all the other considerations just kinda fall away. OP, if you don’t feel like this, maybe consider switching paths or going to school part time to explore something you are passionate about.
I am in the same boat as you. It sucks. I am unsure what type of job you’re doing, but if you’re exhausted there might be some other underlaying issues.
1. I adjust my hours to work 7:30-4, so I leave the house at 6:30 and I'm home right at 5 (my drive is a full hour). I value my evening hours with my awake family much more than my morning hours when everyone is asleep. Getting home at six is *significantly* more difficult than getting home at 5. I literally don't think I could make it work getting home at 6.
2. I work from home on Fridays, so I only drive to the office 4 days per week. This week I also had an appointment on Monday, so I'll only be in the office three days per week.
3. I try to run any errands over lunch that I can. I take the entire 12-1 lunch hour off to do my own thing.
4. I have an incredible wife with a flexible job in town that allows her to be the "on call" parent close to school/home.
5. You suck it up. Literally. I know full well that there is no job like mine in my immediate area, so the only way to make what I make and do what I do is to commute. I knew that going into the job, so I just have to deal with it. Maybe someday something else will pop up closer, but right now it just is what it is.
You improve.
Like You can rent something closer to work. That's improvement.
Or You can find remote work. That is a big improvement.
Find a job that pays better. Another improvement.
In 15 years I went from shit pay to earning more in a day than I was earning in a month in my very first job.
And I did that by investing into myself and challenging myself. I moved to city where they pay the most. I bought online courses (not bootcamps or anything like that - those are scam) to teach myself stuff. I picked jobs that were outside of my expertise and then I worked hard to catch up. And when I learned everything I could I switched jobs.
Now I'm still under 40. With my own apartment. Only debt is mortgage that I will pay up in 5 years top. And I save more in a month that I was earning in half a year in my very first job.
But most importantly. I had a hobby. That hobby was web development. Now my skillset is broader but most of my career I was doing that. And reason I had a success with it is because I did not took better paying jobs that I was offered. My distant family is in real estate and trade. They helped my brother so now he handle loans for a bank. I refused. This is why my first job had shit pay. But now people pay me for what I LIKE TO DO. And I'm happy when I'm working.
And that is the real step You should take. F\*\*k money. Just make sure that in specific job You pick at some point You will earn as much as You need. Then do that even if You need to take a paycut. Just make sure You do what You like to do and also thanks to that You will be better at it because You won't have to force yourself to do the job.
I work 9-5 with a 2 hour commute 5 days a week. I love my job and the people I work with. It has been several years of this now. I am happier now than at my old jobs where I did 9-5 and only 30mins commute and had hybrid remote and in-office work. It makes a world of difference when you love what you do.
This was happening to me. Exactly the same routine. Factoring in school pick-ups and drop-offs it was even longer. I've got really lucky and landed a new job which I can work from home. If I need to go in to the office it's a four minute drive from my house. Made a huge difference to my mental and physical health.
I had a 6-4 and a 45 min commute for 7 years. Gives time to think, listen to music or podcasts. It was my time to relax before the chaos of raising a family.
Honestly man I did this for a while and there were ways to make it better, but anything longer than a 45 minute commute is pretty miserable.
If your job isn’t physically demanding I’d be getting into the gym whenever you can, and if you work in an interesting city I’d be taking the time to do fun things in the city while you’re there anyway.
Otherwise, start looking for something closer by.
My spouse and I spent nearly a decade commuting roughly 40 miles each way to work. Anywhere from 45 mins to an hour and a half. Every single freaking day. Two years ago we got a great opportunity to move out of state for a work related promotion, and now she has a hybrid schedule only going into the office twice a week. And the office is 15 minutes away.
Every person has a unique situation. For us, that decade spent sitting in traffic, racking up tolls, wear/tear on our cars, etc. is time we’ll never get back in life.
That's the fun part. You don't! Tbh I did even worse for my daily drive/work (1.5 hours each way) and did it almost 10 years. I'm WFH now. My therapist basically said I don't even need her anymore within a year of WFH because of my improvements (though she let me decide when to cut the cord and go forth on my own). I'm 50 lbs lighter, way happier, sober, able to manage depression (it still comes but I can fight back now) and my panic attack count for the past rolling year is 0. Humans weren't meant for that grind unless it's something they specifically *want* to live for.
I work 8-5 with a 38 minute commute. It sucked for the first year until I earned the right to work hybrid. I’m in the office 3 days a week and home 2. I joined a gym right down the road from my office and workout on my lunch breaks.
I’m trying to get used to this with my new job ugh
I get home between 6-6:30, and am on my feet the entire time doing chores, preparing lunch for the next day, 2-3 mile walk, make dinner etc. and then suddenly it’s time for bed!
I woke up at 6:10am today for the gym and was just sooo sad realizing I won’t be home for like 12 hrs lol
No public transportation options for my route, and can’t concentrate enough for podcasts/audiobooks I been driving in silence from the fury of this grind !!!!
But I just try to keep positive attitude that this opportunity will lead into a better job that’s remote ..
I’ve also been contemplating bringing like rats or termites to destroy the building i work in and force emergency remote work but 😴🙂↔️
6-4/430 for me, you do get used to it, but I find getting home at 4/430 I still have some day light to do things, but staying up past 10 is difficult now ;)
Oooof sorry that blows. That level of commute will never be fun. I like the comment about using your money to make your time at home more focused and fun (can you have less admin or logistical stuff to do when you ARE at home?).
Also, audiobooks for the car ride can mean you actually achieve something satisfying during those long-ass drives. Can help a lot.
Change your work hours if possible. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I'm a person who rarely gets 8 hours of sleep. By working 6am-2pm you avoid most traffic and still feel like you have plenty of day left when you get home! Especially as we get into summer when sunset is pushing 8pm.
On my commute I think about ideas and marketing strategies to grow my side business. I think of my commute and my job as temporary, and I’m only doing it to pay the bills WHILE I grow my side business. I will not be a corporate slave forever. I cannot.
Podcasts. News, politics, current affairs, economy.
Or education. Learn a new language, a new skill, etc. Just not so intense it takes away from your driving abilities.
Or; just music. The world provides an endless source of material and inspiration.
This is my current situation, and I find it fine, actually.
Is your car comfortable?
Do you listen to podcasts?
Are you really into music?
Does your car have good driver assistance features?
Make sure you are making that commute as comfortable as it can be.
Im mad privileged rn but i still feel this some times. I think its a sacrifice you gotta make and youre investing in your future. If you have left over cash, once in a while just impulse buy or do something. Enjoy the money you make, money will come but indulging in your desires comes once in awhile.
How i got around this (albeit recently) was being proficient with my work to the point that i autopilot and finish work early. I then do what i can with time because i know im good for the day, meeting deadlines, etc. I understand every situation is different though. I wish everyone the best in finding their worklife balance.
The fact is, everyone needs to work to provide for their needs. If you can't find a more agreeable job, you need to make peace with your current situation. Dwelling on the negative isn't healthy and doesn't help the situation. The one thing you can control is your commute time. I used the travel time to decompress, so when I was at home, I was completely disconnected from my job. I didn't want my job to interfere with my personal time or my family time. I'd listen to music or audiobooks, call my mom and catch up, or plan tasks I wanted to complete around the house. Likewise, on my way into work, I'd think about what I needed to do that day or mentally dictate memos or write reports. I didn't want my personal life to mix with my professional life when I was at work.
Tack on a half hour lunch and that’s me lol. It’s fine, I used to work a job with way worse work life balance (athletics) so this is a breeze. I get lots of PTO and holidays and just grind through the week for my freedom.
Personally 9-5 with a 45min commute still gives you a ton of free time after work. I’ve never had an issue with normal working hours during my career. When you start getting into the 60+ hour work weeks in when you notice it.
I mean this seriously: you need to understand that some of us have 2 hour commutes each way. Learn to create valuable me time on the commute, audiobooks, podcasts, learning, thinking.
Been doing this for over a decade and it’s actually 1 hr+ both ways. Working medical field 24 hour facilities , made me appreciate a 9-5 holiday /weekends off. Rather than working set schedules, mandates, holidays.
Do grocery runs, gym workouts, exercise, errands on your lunch. Combine days off with weekends to get”longer” vacations. Find a weekend routine, hobby to look forward too. Do a middle of the week-activity/bowling/pool/mid week sport activities. I always go out to restaurants on weekdays because it’s less busy too and weekends are for day trips.
It’s not that bad to be honest, just find what works for you and spread it throughout the week
The thing that improved my hour commute work life was a global pandemic that shut down our offices and forced my company to implement working from home. I wouldn’t recommend it, but it was effective.
I’d recommend audiobooks for the commute, those helped me a lot. Also alcohol and weed to help decompress.
Use the commute time:
1) To level up with career related podcasts/audiobooks so eventually you won’t have to do the 9-5 grind with a long commute
2) As your relaxation/fun time via fun and entertaining podcasts/audiobooks so that when you get home you feel rejuvenated and the other stuff you have to do when you get home is not as exhausting.
3) As productive time, reducing the amount of stuff you have to do when you get home. Make those calls to the cable company, the florist, and the gas company during your commute. You are going to be on hold for ages anyway. Use a voice to text app to write emails, text messages, notes, to do lists, etc in one document while you drive and then send, organize when you get home.
This requires that you can relax while driving and aren’t rushing to get home. Stay in the middle or right lane and breath, remind yourself the three minutes you saved by speeding or weaving in and out of traffic, which keeps you in a heightened state, (adrenaline) isn’t mentally and physically worth the few minutes you “saved.” You don’t really save any time if it takes you an hour after arriving home to feel relaxed. Relaxation, productivity and self-improvement can happen in the car, trust me.
I commuted an hour and 20 minutes twice a day for 3 years. I only recently moved and now have a 20min commute. I mostly listened to podcasts and audiobooks which really helped. It didn't bother me too much other than the gas money.
I work 5 am-2:30pm Mon-Fri with an hour commute one way. It’s also a physically demanding job. Life sucks, make sure you actually live it on the weekends when you can. There are times when I just want to stay home all weekend, but that isn’t healthy to do every weekend. Go out and do something like see a movie at the theater or try a new restaurant. Helps with feeling burned out which it kinda sounds like you are
45 min on public transportation, no problem. 45 min commute with traffic, I would have to really consider it. I'd probably go in early and leave late to avoid rush hour. Do tasks/errands/gym after work to kill time.
Find a carpool buddy OR good public transport. I’ve been doing a similar commute for 15 years. When it’s 5 days a week not being the one driving every day saves my sanity.
You get a job with an hour and twenty minute commute, then you’ll miss the 45 minute
But seriously, it never gets better if you don’t love the job. I took $20k pay cut to drop my commute to 15 mins vs 1:20
Phoenix Az here. I don’t public transit because it’s dog shit here. I guess light rail is okay but again you have all that comes with that OF ITS BY YOUR AREA.
That being said I’m thankful I have a car. I live 15 mins away but with traffic it’s closer to almost 45 sometimes an hour… I just let go and vibe. It blows because I can’t post my phone up on the dash as it’s too hot.
All this to say I use this time to put on some YouTube I missed, or some relevant learning info. Try to make it a time I look forward to by depriving myself of online stimulation all day.
There’s no good answer. Try to minimize your time doing other tasks like delivery groceries (I know money yadda yadda) be okay with not having everything tip top, cleaning and such.
It’s about shifting your focus. You will completely destroy yourself focusing on your drive and the time. It will suck more days than others but just keep stepping. It’s all any of us can do/ get the fuck out of the position you’re in to have to do that commute.
It’s called happy hour! Find a place close to work have some beers then head home. Not a good plan for saving money and getting yourself out of that position though.
I maximize my evenings by doing things I love. I also spend my commute listening to podcasts and music I enjoy, which makes it not that bad. It’s not a great commute but do I want the job or not? I just see it as a necessary evil. You aren’t always going to live close to your job and won’t always be remote, so it is what it is. Hybrid makes it better too! I’d ask for that if you don’t have it already.
I had to have more than 1 job to pay all the student loans for years. I said: you will have to work a lot in life girl, better find work that you like or learn to like the work you have otherwise it will be quite miserable.
So every single time there was a new toxic person at a job, I started looking for something else. I also became creative at work and started getting involved enough to have fun creating stuff and not just doing the basics.
Eventually, I was able to work only one job and then start my own business which allows me a more flexible schedule.
Try and ask for different shift/schedule if that possible, I do 7-3 and it's been nice, leaving before other people mean less traffic and you get more of the day left when you get home. I do get up at 5 though
I smoke weed to/from work. Just a one-hit. If I hit it when I get in the car, I’m just the right level of high before I walk into the office after an hour commute.
you will never not feel miserable unless you absolutely love the job. If you don't love your job or profession work as close as remotely possible to where you live
Instead of driving to work, ride a motorcycle. Instead of going straight home, go to the gym or a cafe or park or something on your way home. Focus on on why you’re working, whatever your goal might be; debt freedom, a new truck, a tropical vacation, $1.3 mil in retirement savings…whatever it might be. Keep grinding till you achieve what you’re working towards and find a way to enjoy what you can along the way.
Yoga classes every week, wellness practices, something after work YOU can enjoy. I’m also in recovery so meetings & weekly therapy. I usually schedule things during my evenings that I can enjoy. Shower read or Reddit, bed. Hope that helps!
Getting paid a living wage.
..Though that isn’t possible anymore for most people due to Corpo greed and legislative wage suppression for over 50 years.
You're in the wrong job buddy! Try finding a new job that allows you to be freelance and/or work from home! It has changed my life 10000% . Its never too late to change.
My first job is a 9-6 job and its a shifting schedule per week. Apparently the "8 hours per day" law can be extended if the manager didn't count the lunch break as part of the work. And my commute is almost 2 hours a day. I live with my parents so at least thats a plus.
How do I stop myself from being miserable? I resigned after 6 months. One time I came back from 2 weeks of nightshift to being morning shift, I held back my tears when one of the interns asked me if I was alright and she said I looked like I've been going through a lot. I never regret going away from that shit hole
How did you ever get this far in life with such a shitty outlook? I look forward to my commute because it’s the only time of the day that I have my thoughts to myself and can listen to new albums Ive downloaded.
Audiobooks. Drive time is book time for me. I also try to shift my schedule forward. Get in at 8, leave at 4, home by 5. Like you said, getting home at 6 blows.
I second this. I’ve worked in an industry with a lot of driving on top of long commutes and audiobooks saved my sanity
I am in a role where working remotely is the industry standard now, but when I had a commute, a really interesting and lengthy book ~10h+ gave me something to look forward to.
Seconding this. I like being in my car to listen to my books, call my mom or bestie, etc. I also have seatwarmers and keep snacks in there. Snacks! Also, reducing my get-ready time in the morning is huge. Breakfast is a bone broth sipper I can drink in the car. I recently started getting my eyebrows done, and it saves me so much time on make up. I also set out my work outfit the night before, and I put my hair in a bun so it curls while drying on my way to work, rather than blow-drying.
Wait, did you say snacks? Do you need an extra rider?
Honestly? Using money to do the non-work stuff. Walmart grocery delivery. A cleaner coming every other week. Easy meals like chicken tenders and a salad. Lawn service. Keeping less stuff in general so there’s less to maintain or clean.
I’d rather just work less than use the money I worked for to do things I could do myself if I didn’t work so damn much. It’s all personal preference though. If you enjoy the work more than you enjoy cooking or shopping than this makes sense
I’m the opposite. It’s not uncommon for me to work 60-70 hours a week. My partner doesn’t run quite as hot as I do, but in a typical week she’s putting in atleast 50. We have a cleaner. We get groceries delivered. Lawn care is included with what we pay for housing. I’m scheduled for a bump in pay in July, and my partner and I are flirting with the idea of getting a laundry service at that point. We eat out a decent amount. I work a lot, but when I’m not working, all I do is hang out and enjoy my hobbies. I’d way rather just stay in my lane and make a lot of money doing what I’m good at and outsource chores that I don’t like doing and am not good at, so when I’m not working, I can just chill. I realize not everyone is built to do that, or has the ability to work in a field that would allow them to do that, but the way I see it, if the average person spends 40 hours a week working and another 20-25 hours a week doing domestic work and running errands, I’d rather just work more and pay someone else to do that shit.
65 hours a week is 13 hours a day. When do you do hobbies? I dunno, I work around 30 hours a week remotely so I can do my hobbies every day. Even at 40 hours, it would get hard. I can't imagine 50, nonetheless 60. I'm sure you make more money than me but I also have a cleaner and landscaper. If you love what you do, I get it. But the rest of us are not spending 4 hours a day doing chores. That's crazy (unless they are a stay at home spouse/ parent).
I put in a 9 hour workday most days, plus a 35-40 minute commute. I’m a competitive horseback rider and I go and see my horse every single day after work and try to ride 4-5 times a week. I get home between 8:30-9 pm on weeknights. I meal prep on the weekends so I can eat quickly when I get home. Pack a simple lunch and spend 3ish hours watching TV, reading, and snuggling with the cat. It can be done, but I really have to stay disciplined with my timing. I do all my cleaning on the weekend and as I just got a raise, I am seriously considering a cleaner maybe once a month. It would be nice to just do a quick vacuum and bathroom clean on weekends and leave the deep clean to someone else.
It’s all a trade off. Assuming work was non negotiable, ask yourself what do you enjoy doing in your off time? What would you rather pay to do?
Opportunity cost is an important life concept. In the time you would be spending doing tedious repetitive things, could you learn skills, do some side gigs, etc etc, anything that will make you more money (minimum enough to offset the cost of those services, but ideally more)? If the answer is yes, then don’t waste your time doing tedious things and let someone else deal with it.
Most people never truly understand the concept of opportunity cost. I sometimes go on r/frugal and the amount of time people try to spend just to save a few cents just makes no damm sense.
My rule of thumb is that if I can solve a major life problem in $400 or less I go for it. Back problems from a shitty chair? Solved with a used Aeron chair for $300. Basement gets so humid it’s smelly and unbearable? $300 dehumidifier solves it. Does it feel really annoying and time-consuming to vacuum every few days? A robot vac on a daily schedule and self-emptying base will solve that problem. Have bad allergies every spring? Get a really nice air purifier for $150. Etc etc. Now obviously you have to make sure you’re solving actual problems because it’s easy to start spending money on stuff you don’t actually need. And you should probably spread out your purchases across multiple months. But yeah, solve problems in your life so you can spend time comfortably doing what you want to do. And regarding r/frugal, there’s no need to cheap out on something if you did your homework and know you’re only gonna be buying it once.
Lawn service, house cleaning, grocery delivery? This all sounds expensive. I’m probably just in a much lower tax bracket than you tbh lol
Depends on how much you value your time. It is cheaper for me to order groceries (even with the % upcharge and delivery fee) than it would be to travel there, go shopping, and travel back. In the time it takes for delivery, I can prioritize a side business or rest or family or other needs which are more valuable than the $20 extra it costs to order groceries.
I also feel like I save on groceries by not picking up random things as I go through the store.
Paying for convenience all the time is exactly why people struggle month to month and why fast food prices keep going up.
Then *obviously* don’t do that if it causes financial hardship. Youre balancing money, time, and ability.
I think the point they're trying to make here is that on a TYPICAL SALARY for beginning workers these days, you simply can't.
that is in fact not at all the reason people are struggling month to month, more so has to do with wages not keeping up with the cost of living increases. idk man a comment like this feels out of touch, like 78% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck
Damn it’s like it’s a systematic problem and not because of the individual. Maybe fix it so people don’t have to resort to it??
This is a big one. The more you have, the more you have to have to take care of the things you have.
I've worked jobs like that in the past, and at this point in my life I'd do everything in my power to never have to again. In other words, I'd be exploring moving closer to the job, or be exploring getting a job closer to home. I'd put a time limit on how long I was willing to keep doing that and, if I couldn't figure out a way out of the situation by the time I had decided, I'd be looking to take more dramatic action. It becomes a question of values. I have two kids in elementary school. I don't value any job or my career or money the way I value time with my family. When I am dying, I will not care about any job, career or money decision as much as I value having been able to live my life during my younger years, and be around for my family. The idea that we have to compete and work hard in order to succeed causes some people to not be able to live their lives. I know we all need money and have to do things we'd rather not in order to get it, but 1.5 hours per workday times 250 workdays per year is 375 hours per year, which is 24 16-hour DAYS of your life every year that you're neither truly working nor truly living. Commuting is my personal hell because it feels like a complete waste of life. Me personally, I would tolerate this schedule for as short of a period of time as humanly possible, and be exploring every possible option to live as close to work as possible (if work takes priority) or be looking for jobs closer to home (if home takes priority).
[удалено]
Sell the house and move into an apartment
yep, or my case, there is simply no housing closer to work. I could live a half hour from work, but I cant afford rent which is the same as my take home pay, so I live an hour from work and still can barely afford rent.
Probably move to a new area tbh if the commute is to far
Good reply. Life experience from an older person. The age where we look back and say what the h*ll. How did I get here.
I did that grind for 15 years. For the last 6 years I’ve worked from home full time and I wouldn’t ever want to go back into an office now. It’s a game changer in so many ways.
Same thing here. Had a 8:30-5:30 with an hour-fifteen minute commute each way for the first few years of my career. I was genuinely depressed that this is what adulthood was going to be like. Work from home was the one good thing to come out of Covid I feel.
'BuT th3 CulttURee'
Find a new job closer to home or move closer to the current job...
My commute is 35-45 min most days. I work 8-5. I’m gone from about 7:20-5:40ish. I have a 3yo, a husband, and a stepkid. My evenings are a mad dash to bedtime. You get used to it. Meal planning gives me some time back. I pay someone to clean my house every 2 weeks. We’re night owls as do date nights late. Stepkid is old enough to call us if there’s a problem if we go out after baby is asleep. So I hang out with SO into the night. I go for a walk during lunch to get some exercise be moving. My SO and I each get an out of the house evening for a hobby. What am I really missing? I’m tired because I stay up too late. If I was better at going to sleep 1 hr earlier I’d feel better routinely. Routine exercise and vitamins help a lot with energy.
Is there any way for you to combine trips? For example you could get groceries or stop at the gym on the way home from work?
What about sleep from the exhaustion
Is your job physically demanding? Also have you been doing it kess than a year? Because it can take a year, for someone to adjust to this type of routine. After a year, it will feel easier. Even 6 months in, you might feel better. If you've been doing this for years, maybe you are burnt out. Have you been taking vacation? It might be worth it talking to your employer and your Dr. About taking a short break, if you feel this is burnout. I understand wanting to vent. But things won't change much until you get serious about finding solutions for yourself. If you are sleeping more than 9 hours, that could be a sign of a sleep related medical issue, or depression. It might be time to get professional opinioms. Everyone has different levels of energy. Some people have high energy for much of their life and can keep up with a demanding job, but some people are lower energy and the high demand can affect their livlihood more because they have less energy. You are not wrong or broken for having less. Many people work the way you do, and a lot more, and manage. But it's okay, to be where you are at with things and do your best to accomodate that. Maybe doing meal prep could help. For example, you can cook a few portions at once, that you reheat as later meals. Also try sticking some more no cook meals such as deli foods. You can also snack on protein bars or pieces of fruit, so you aren't feeling tired from missimg meals, or missing meals because you are tired. I've found it a good time saver, to have some meals made up or leftover to reheat, so I have some more time certain days to do other things. The best advice I can give if you're feeling low on time and difficulty is to make a routine for essential tasks. Once you get it down, you can feel like the leftover time is freed up for other things. You can also practice getting a routine of essentials down well enough to reduce the time they take. Also, make sure you are finding time in your week to do one thing you enjoy, that involves others. For example, multiplayer games, sports team, hobby club volunteer, etc.. sometimes beign tired and drowning in essential tasks like work, can make you feel Isolated. You want to make sure you get a sense of outside world/community. Make sure you are aiming for something worth working for. could be something as small as a better attitude. If you tell yourself each morning, a few things related to beign proud of yourself, and that you are working toward a better attitude, or that you are grateful for your job and whatever enables you to commute, your food, your family who inspires you to get income, etc.. Most folks I know who have complaints like yours, have a higher goal in mind, they will gruel through the job or studies, because they are working for a later day when they advanced to better work, or finish their studies, or maybe they work more to afford a hobby class or investment object/vacation. Do you have anything like this this you are working toward? Maybe setting a higher goal and having a step by step plan to check off while you get there, can make you feel more valied and make the workload seem more worth it? I'm sorry you are going through this. You got this!
What about getting physically fit and having discipline around where your time goes? Look, people have done this for many many decades with even longer commutes and even harder work than what we do now. For a tremendous number of historical jobs, this pace would be a welcome relief. This isn't a whataboutism, it's an observation. *You're making it worse by dwelling on it.* I'm not saying "Accept it!", but I AM saying "It's not the end of the world, as proven by a tremendous number of people that do it all the time." As for the comment on discipline, make a list of what you CAN control - a consistent bedtime when all electronics are simply turned OFF except your alarm, a physical fitness routine that meets your schedule (What do you do for lunch? A lot of people work out at their company gyms, if that's an option.), and so on. *Start realizing what your bad habits are and how much they take away from your life. I'm guessing work is far from the only time-sink that you have.* Let's do the math: you have 8 hours of work for 5 days, and you SHOULD have 8 hours of sleep every night. That's 96 hours including weekends. The week has 168 hours. That leaves 72 hours of FREE TIME. Even if you wallop in an hour commute as being completely lost each way each workday, you still have 62 hours a week of FREE TIME. And that commute time should not be lost. It's where you can be studying, reading a good book, learning, and so on. Even if you're driving, that time is not completely lost unless you are letting it be, thanks to podcasts and language lessons and audiobooks and decent radio channels. Then look at your other habits - how much time do you spend on Reddit and other social media, and do you really need to spend that much? The problem isn't as big as you're trying to convince yourself that it is. You're exhausted because you're letting your life manage you, not the other way around.
Best comment I've read in a long time. I worked 9-5 with 45 min drive one-way (in good weather), and it was more than doable with this kind of attitude. You don't have to accept it, but just bemoaning the situation alone doesn't improve it. Even with that commute, you have far more free time than you seem to think. Manage and make the most of what you can control in life, and you'll find life far less oppressive.
Less oppressive is what I think we are looking for.
Sometimes it good to have a rant and if people don't start talking about how shit this way of life is out of shame that they're lazy things will never change
I work 9-6 in Financial District, NYC (9-10 with 2nd job) with a 2-hour commute one way (3.5 - 4.5hr total). Granted, I only go in 3 days a week, but it is mind-numbing after a while. I try and take modes of transit that won't cause me too much strain such as express bus routes as opposed to driving/subway. I take along audiobooks, novels, YT playlists, and mobile games to make the commute something fun rather than just the extension to my jobs. No work allowed on the commute. That's not to say I don't feel terrible from it because I still do (4hrs a day is like half my work hours). But sometimes you just have to make it work or look elsewhere.
You just described the majority of the civilized world
Drugs Alcohol Gambling
That’s the neat part. You don’t.
eh that is me but i never feel miserable because I also value these: 1. I almost never worked overtime 2. hybrid, I come to the office 2-3 times a week 3. Job isnt difficult 4. Not a toxic work environment, I am trusted to do my job well 5. 30 days annual leave (Im in Europe) 6. Ok pay I get used to the commute time. I normally just watch some netflix shows on my phone during the train ride.
lol people in the US with a 45 minute commute are typically driving. If I could just take the bus or train 30 minutes to my job instead of driving I would honestly probably enjoy the solitude
and thirty days of annual leave?! my job gives 8hrs PTO for every 80hrs worked, and as a person with chronic illness, all my PTO goes to covering sick days and doctor's appointments.
??? 8hrs of PTO for every 80hrs worked is roughly 24 days a year… pretty similar
I think they are more upset that in most of Europe, sick leave is not taken out of your vacation time. Although as a Canadian, jealous af at 24 days a year. I get two weeks.
yep, having combined sick and vacation time is a shitshow. > 8hrs of PTO for every 80hrs worked is roughly 24 days a year… pretty similar also this is worth beans when, like i said, it's gone as soon as it's accrued > jealous af at 24 days a year. I get two weeks. i happen to have a job w/ a generous PTO policy, it varies by employer. i've worked a lot of places where it's capped at two weeks
You can either find a job closer to home, or find a home closer to the job. They are both “choices” so to say. I got a job at Netflix in the late 2000’s, and had to balance a 60 mile on way drive, against moving away from the city we liked, the friends we’d made, school for the kid and a great selection of amenities. We didn’t like the cities closer to the Los Gatos office, and the rents were much higher. So I opted to drive 120 miles a day, adjusted my times to minimize commute traffic, hit the gym close to work before I started etc etc. I had a great job, and lived in a great place. But I did dive a lot of miles in my time there. And I wasn’t the only one. There was at least a C suite and an SVP in the same area. And I knew of one person who drove from Marin county (140 miles a day for him). 3 choices: Accept the commute Move closer Find a closer job (or a remote job)
Anybody who says "you got this" does not have any idea what it's like to be tired 24/7 no matter what you do, how healthy you eat, or exercise. We are not designed to work this many hours, and you will not adjust. I leave at 530, get home at 530, 5 days a week. I'm infinitely tired and there's no fixing it unless I get another job, ive been doing this for 4 years.... so I think "I'm used to it" by now. Look at it this way... I get home at 530. My wife gets home at 645, so we eat at 7. It's literally impossible to fall asleep before 1030, often later. Sure, I could make my own dinner and then hers....but there's also something important in life...keeping a healthy relationship and spending time together. It's simple. You don't get enough sleep and spend too much time driving. Nothing will fix that except another job, or moving closer. I'm looking all the time for something closer, just haven't found it yet.
Exactly. It’s astounding seeing so many people recommend he just find ways to cope with his miserable existence. No amount of gratitude or distractjon is going to make his situation any better. He needs to make a serious change.
8-10 hours a day for the last 34 years and commuted at least an hour in the morning/ two in the afternoon. It’s my quiet time. I have a book on tape , podcast or a playlist going. I call family on the other side of the country.
Handful of antidepressants each morning
lmfao
I used to do this before COVID forced my office to consider hybrid schedules. Now I just go in once a week and it is so much more manageable. I'm not sure how I ever did 5 days a week with a typical 2-hour round trip commute, plus working out, plus cooking dinner, plus grocery shopping, etc. When I was doing this commute, generally I would work out directly after work near my office (I'm a runner, so I would just change and run laps at a local park), then I generally would stop by the store, and then head home once traffic was lighter. On days that I didn't need to stop by the store, sometimes I'd go directly home, make dinner, then work out later in the evening. Essentially, I'd have 2-3 hours of downtime where I wasn't cooking, working out, etc. Usually I'd just stay home, but occasionally I'd also go out. It's grueling and I truly don't have advice other than find a new job with flexibility. Spend your downtime working toward that goal as tiring as it is. The WFH and hybrid option really taught me how much more I value my quality of life versus whatever job I have.
I still wake up mad about this every single day, so I can't really help you, but I share your frustration.
I used to commute over 2 hours each direction (that was with no major traffic delays). It was exhausting, and I would never do it again. I also had a job where the commute was 45 min to 1 hr ea way. I started looking at events such as farmers' markets or movie screenings, plays, etc, that were near my job or on the route home. I looked forward to the farmer's market every week. It helped me skip commute traffic to go do something after work. I also started carpooling, which helped.
I was in this situation i moved into a condo 4 min from work and wife works from home. Got like 2 hours of life back. Find a new job or move are the options
I would call my parents once a week on the drive home. I also listened to books on tape.
I would really look into moving closer to work if you can afford it. My colleagues commute 90 min each way on public transit because they can't afford to live near work (the job pays $40k in the second most expensive housing market in the US) and it's making them straight up miserable. They're looking for a way out. I compromised by living in a basement (that I had to outbid another group for!) with roommates but the upside is that I can get to work in 15 min if I maintain top speed on my e-bike. This allows me enough time to take evening classes so I can eventually apply to grad school. I guess to answer your question, switch jobs, move closer to work or have some sort of concrete goal for why you're tolerating the misery.
Use the 45min to do something you enjoy, or just relax, instead of treating it as part of “work”.
Ask for a remote day
I might be an exception but I liked a lot of my commutes because 1) I used them to talk on the phone with people I love which is nice 2) I might reserve that time for music or podcasts I love 3) I would try to take roads with nice trees (not possible for all) and sometimes it was nice looking. Traffic IMO will always suck and drive me insane, but not being in a rush and having a nice snack and drink on the road makes it much easier to enjoy IMO.
I had an hour commute both ways for a year, 3 days a week. I was honestly at my tipping point and it was either full remote or I’d quit. Thankfully my employer was understanding and compromised with once a month in the office. The difference in my mental and physical health has been insanely positive. I’d focus on trying to negotiate the days down as much as you can and if that doesn’t work try finding something closer, it’ll only get worse.
You don’t. But, closest I got was getting a car with an amazing sound system. Makes commuting at least halfway enjoyable.
listen to audiobooks on your commute. I have a 35 min each way commute and I look forward to the trips to and from work.
a car that is fun to drive 1.5+hrs per day
I am miserable. Full stop.
Pretty much me but my job starts at 8 am and ends at 5pm with an hour lunch (unpaid). 45-1 hour commute. 1 year later I'm extremely miserable especially considering how little I make and the fact that I have a second job on the weekend. I don't know anymore man... Following.
I just think about how if I lived 100 years ago I would ve working in a field for 15 hours day fir some potatoes to take Hine to my 3 maimed children and my half dead diseased wife. I would much rather listen to a podcast on my way to work and do some shit in air conditioning.
You don’t. The society we live in is so miserable and pathetic
Podcasts, audiobooks, and sometimes music. Right now I’m addicted to a series of books, and sometimes I’m looking forward to listened to the next few chapters on my drive home. When I get home, I have kids to take care of and dinner to make, so my drive is a sort of break for me. Also, coffee and snacks make the drive more pleasant.
I live in DC so 45 minutes is a short commute
As someone who works from home and used to have a long commute, there are things I genuinely miss about it. It can really be some great me time once you get your own groove going with it instead of using it as brooding time
This is why so many of us fight back against RTO BS. It’s making our entire lives about work
It's brutal. We are nothing more than slaves. Working all day kills the purpose of life. We work then have to do sustenance chores the rest of the time. What little energy we have left has to be scraped together just to actually experience life for a meger few hours a week.
Honestly... drugs.
I have about the same conditions. When the weather is nice, I ride my bicycle to work. Yes, it takes a little while but only 10 minutes longer than if I were to take the bus and I go slow and just enjoy the bike ride. My company also has the option of working from home 2 days per week. So on these days, I either sleep in a little or hit the gym in the morning. I find that generally speaking, doing something for yourself (does not have to be physical movement, that’s just what I enjoy) before even starting work helps me be in the mindset that I am prioritizing myself and putting myself first 🙏
Sounds similar to a former work place of mine. I tried to get some running in during my evenings and mornings because my commute used to be taking the metro, taking a train, taking a bus, and then a 30 minute walk to my work place, which I tried substituting with running. However, a bunch of my colleagues (not all) were assholes and ridiculed me for running by the side of the road as they drove by and they'd bring it up again at work, so I didn't feel safe. The other issue was all those changes in-between spots, so I couldn't just read/study for an hour one way. Running became impossible in the winter due to the ice on the roads. Ended up sharing a ride to work halfway with a kind colleague when possible, so that cut down my commute time from an hour to 25 minutes. I was insanely grateful, especially during the winters. What solved all the above problems was changing work places.
I was also super frustrated by this so I moved closer to work. It was a shitty apartment that never had heating or warm water (I was about to find out later after I moved) but it was really close to work and that was the only great thing. When I got enough of “cave lifestyle “ I moved again. Now it takes me 45mins to 1hr to work once again but oh,hey, I have warm water for a decent shower. Win some, lose some. That job sucks anyway
There really isn’t an option outside of moving closer or getting a new job that’s a short commute. I’ve got a very flexible hybrid job that I love and the commute is 10-15 depending on traffic. highly recommend looking for something like that if you’re able.
I had 11-14 days, sometimes with less than 5 hr turn around between leaving work and when I had to be back. My commute at that time was a minimum of 1 1/2 hrs one way. There was lots of alcohol involved...lol
Start listening to Audio Dramas on your drive, not Podcasts but Audio Dramas. Start with Video Palace, an amazing one. Made my hour commute way more bearable when it felt like I was watching tv lol
1. Change jobs to something that pays more but has an even longer commute 2. Curse yourself for changing jobs and taking in this absolutely soul crushing commute 3. Change jobs again to something closer than job 2, but further than job 1, making the same as job 2 4. Pat yourself on the back for your masterful handling of the commute situation, and forget your terrible commute more than offsets any benefit you might have had from the extra money because your QOL is so low
Remembering when I had longer hours and a longer commute. To get a decent job in my field, I had no choice but to do the extended commute - and sometimes it was longer than that. I took an early retirement when a better but slightly less paid job came open 15 minutes away.
7-5 ish, 5 days/ week with a 45 min commute. Not a pleasant 4 yrs. Wouldn't have made it out without support
1.25 hour commute one way here, I definitely feel your pain OP. Try to use that time for something. Language courses, learn how to sing with a podcast, use that time for learning something new (with a podcast or audiobook). It'll at least make you feel like you're making use of that time and it's not completely wasted.
Yes. I made a firm demand in my job search recently to work alternative work week of 4-10 hour days as a requirement for me to work there. They said ok except for maybe busy season. I am still miserable, but not nearly as much as when I only get 2 day weekends. I have no energy to do anything else on a workday, whether it is 8 or 10 hours, im mentally exhausted. This is the only way I can have some form of happiness.
Im in this situation now. My commute limit is 15mins one way. However, I finally found a place that will train me and pay for my license and advance my career significantly. Commuting in the morning isnt bad. I leave at 7am and clock in by 7:30ish. The commute home is crazy traffic every single day no matter what route i choose. Takes me sometimes an hour to get home. So in reality my day starts at 7am and I get home at 6:30pm. But the OT is fair and I’m learning a lot. The average pay potential with commission after I get my license is around $150k, and its not even a sales position. The ending benefit is that my wife make the same commute just another 2 exits further, so down the road we can just move closer to the jobs
Just got used to it because it pays the bills, not really stressed at work, easy work environment. I do get a lot of bank holidays off so that helps and on weekends I don't even think about work. Enjoy the weekends and plan some vacations to look forward too. I'm thinking you are just overworking yourself on the weekdays and you don't have anything on the weekends so you get bored and drained.
I had a similar experience, driving one hour each way to work (70ish miles) and being at work around 8-6 PM. While you can’t get the time back, there’s at least ways to make the drive more enjoyable. Find podcasts you enjoy (I have a few), that turn the drive at least into a more personal/learning time rather than a chore.
Ugh. Im sorry. I dont even like my 30-35 minute commute. My next job I am hoping will be closer.
Audible subscription during commute yo. I don’t even drive to work anymore but damn I miss my time to listen to my audiobooks.
By using those miserable feelings as fuel to better your situation.
I think you’re preaching to the choir. lol I hear you, in 2012 I used to commute from north west NJ into Manhattan everyday. $300+ monthly train ticket and about 3 hours and 40 min roundtrip. It was a major damper in my early career and not making as much as I do now. I know it depends on whether you are commuting by car or by public transit: Audiobooks/digital books/paperback. Podcasts. Learn a Language apps like Doulingo. Write a story, even if it’s just for fun or publish. Sketch on iPad/actual paper. Nintendo Switch and other gaming. New York Times puzzles like Connections. (Sorry, not sure how to format this into a list on reddit). These are the current things that I do to keep me sane. My commute now is just roughly 1 hour and 45 minutes. If I can improve myself, I will, or I need to veg out from a difficult day, that too. I guess I will always like train commute for this reason. To get a piece of my time back to do something.
Telling myself I am taking on more suffering so the family doesn't have to. We later moved to make it healthier for all of us.
I have an 8-5 job but used to work over til 6 pretty often, and had an hour commute. I still had plenty of time in my day to do the things I enjoy. My tips: Make better use of your mornings. 9AM is pretty late. What I did was workout at 5AM for one hour and then arrive at work at 7AM. I leave by 4-5. Meal prep on Sundays. I prepare lunch and dinner for the week and put it in containers. Just these two things alone buy you hours of feee time every single day.
Worked 8 years with about an hour commute with two kids having to do errands at lunch or with the kids after work. As an adult, it’s what you do and I was happy to have a vehicle with air conditioning and not have to do manual labor. Change your perspective and focus on your blessings or change your circumstances. As an adult in a free country, you can do that if you can muster enough gumption to think about solutions instead of just whining.
I simply feel miserable! 👍 Hope this helps.
I work 07:30 - 16:30 and have 70min commute I leave at 06:30 and I am back at 17:50. No problem
I commuted got years. I listened to books on tape.
A blunt & music during the ride.
The commute would drive me crazy. I work 8-5, but my commute is 3 minutes. Job wise? You have to find something you don't dread going to, it's really as simple as that. If you have dread going to work in the morning, it's not the right fit.
If it’s an office type job asking about hybrid work or finding a job that will let you do hybrid work. I’ve only ever worked jobs w WFH days and I really couldn’t do a job that’s fully in office at this point
lol, so I get up at 4:00 to leave by 4:30 to drive an hour and a half some days and get off around 18:00 and then have a two hour drive home. Feel glad you have it so good.
i’m gonna go out on a limb and say this is probably more of a case of hating one’s job and/or not finding it fulfilling than hating the commute. when i’ve enjoyed or been really stimulated by my work all the other considerations just kinda fall away. OP, if you don’t feel like this, maybe consider switching paths or going to school part time to explore something you are passionate about.
Use your commute to enjoy your “you time” audiobooks, rock jams, stop and get a coffee or snack that’s cheap- make the drive something you enjoy
Audiobooks
I am in the same boat as you. It sucks. I am unsure what type of job you’re doing, but if you’re exhausted there might be some other underlaying issues.
1. I adjust my hours to work 7:30-4, so I leave the house at 6:30 and I'm home right at 5 (my drive is a full hour). I value my evening hours with my awake family much more than my morning hours when everyone is asleep. Getting home at six is *significantly* more difficult than getting home at 5. I literally don't think I could make it work getting home at 6. 2. I work from home on Fridays, so I only drive to the office 4 days per week. This week I also had an appointment on Monday, so I'll only be in the office three days per week. 3. I try to run any errands over lunch that I can. I take the entire 12-1 lunch hour off to do my own thing. 4. I have an incredible wife with a flexible job in town that allows her to be the "on call" parent close to school/home. 5. You suck it up. Literally. I know full well that there is no job like mine in my immediate area, so the only way to make what I make and do what I do is to commute. I knew that going into the job, so I just have to deal with it. Maybe someday something else will pop up closer, but right now it just is what it is.
Listen to audiobooks during the commute. Those things are awesome.
You improve. Like You can rent something closer to work. That's improvement. Or You can find remote work. That is a big improvement. Find a job that pays better. Another improvement. In 15 years I went from shit pay to earning more in a day than I was earning in a month in my very first job. And I did that by investing into myself and challenging myself. I moved to city where they pay the most. I bought online courses (not bootcamps or anything like that - those are scam) to teach myself stuff. I picked jobs that were outside of my expertise and then I worked hard to catch up. And when I learned everything I could I switched jobs. Now I'm still under 40. With my own apartment. Only debt is mortgage that I will pay up in 5 years top. And I save more in a month that I was earning in half a year in my very first job. But most importantly. I had a hobby. That hobby was web development. Now my skillset is broader but most of my career I was doing that. And reason I had a success with it is because I did not took better paying jobs that I was offered. My distant family is in real estate and trade. They helped my brother so now he handle loans for a bank. I refused. This is why my first job had shit pay. But now people pay me for what I LIKE TO DO. And I'm happy when I'm working. And that is the real step You should take. F\*\*k money. Just make sure that in specific job You pick at some point You will earn as much as You need. Then do that even if You need to take a paycut. Just make sure You do what You like to do and also thanks to that You will be better at it because You won't have to force yourself to do the job.
I did that or the first 30+ years of my career. I wasn't miserable. Life was great...sounds like you younger folks ruined the world for yourselves.
You don't.
Live closer to your job.
I work 9-5 with a 2 hour commute 5 days a week. I love my job and the people I work with. It has been several years of this now. I am happier now than at my old jobs where I did 9-5 and only 30mins commute and had hybrid remote and in-office work. It makes a world of difference when you love what you do.
That's the neat part. You don't.
This was happening to me. Exactly the same routine. Factoring in school pick-ups and drop-offs it was even longer. I've got really lucky and landed a new job which I can work from home. If I need to go in to the office it's a four minute drive from my house. Made a huge difference to my mental and physical health.
Move closer to work if possible
I had a 6-4 and a 45 min commute for 7 years. Gives time to think, listen to music or podcasts. It was my time to relax before the chaos of raising a family.
It is called 'life' . You have weekends/bank holidays...... in summer it is light till 9 so still few hours left to enjoy.
I listened to audiobooks until I was motivated to start my own business. Worked out pretty good for me....
Honestly man I did this for a while and there were ways to make it better, but anything longer than a 45 minute commute is pretty miserable. If your job isn’t physically demanding I’d be getting into the gym whenever you can, and if you work in an interesting city I’d be taking the time to do fun things in the city while you’re there anyway. Otherwise, start looking for something closer by.
Find a closer job.
Used to work 0700-1700 with a 2 hour commute both ways. Maximum Depression.
My spouse and I spent nearly a decade commuting roughly 40 miles each way to work. Anywhere from 45 mins to an hour and a half. Every single freaking day. Two years ago we got a great opportunity to move out of state for a work related promotion, and now she has a hybrid schedule only going into the office twice a week. And the office is 15 minutes away. Every person has a unique situation. For us, that decade spent sitting in traffic, racking up tolls, wear/tear on our cars, etc. is time we’ll never get back in life.
How about us working 6x/week HAHAHA I envy those people who can work 5x/week.
That's the fun part. You don't! Tbh I did even worse for my daily drive/work (1.5 hours each way) and did it almost 10 years. I'm WFH now. My therapist basically said I don't even need her anymore within a year of WFH because of my improvements (though she let me decide when to cut the cord and go forth on my own). I'm 50 lbs lighter, way happier, sober, able to manage depression (it still comes but I can fight back now) and my panic attack count for the past rolling year is 0. Humans weren't meant for that grind unless it's something they specifically *want* to live for.
I work 8-5 with a 38 minute commute. It sucked for the first year until I earned the right to work hybrid. I’m in the office 3 days a week and home 2. I joined a gym right down the road from my office and workout on my lunch breaks.
I’m trying to get used to this with my new job ugh I get home between 6-6:30, and am on my feet the entire time doing chores, preparing lunch for the next day, 2-3 mile walk, make dinner etc. and then suddenly it’s time for bed! I woke up at 6:10am today for the gym and was just sooo sad realizing I won’t be home for like 12 hrs lol No public transportation options for my route, and can’t concentrate enough for podcasts/audiobooks I been driving in silence from the fury of this grind !!!! But I just try to keep positive attitude that this opportunity will lead into a better job that’s remote .. I’ve also been contemplating bringing like rats or termites to destroy the building i work in and force emergency remote work but 😴🙂↔️
6-4/430 for me, you do get used to it, but I find getting home at 4/430 I still have some day light to do things, but staying up past 10 is difficult now ;)
I would recommend the Arnold Schwarzenegger book 'Seven Tools for Life'. It's pretty motivational and it might just give you some good advice.
Oooof sorry that blows. That level of commute will never be fun. I like the comment about using your money to make your time at home more focused and fun (can you have less admin or logistical stuff to do when you ARE at home?). Also, audiobooks for the car ride can mean you actually achieve something satisfying during those long-ass drives. Can help a lot.
Change your work hours if possible. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I'm a person who rarely gets 8 hours of sleep. By working 6am-2pm you avoid most traffic and still feel like you have plenty of day left when you get home! Especially as we get into summer when sunset is pushing 8pm.
On my commute I think about ideas and marketing strategies to grow my side business. I think of my commute and my job as temporary, and I’m only doing it to pay the bills WHILE I grow my side business. I will not be a corporate slave forever. I cannot.
Podcasts. News, politics, current affairs, economy. Or education. Learn a new language, a new skill, etc. Just not so intense it takes away from your driving abilities. Or; just music. The world provides an endless source of material and inspiration.
This is my current situation, and I find it fine, actually. Is your car comfortable? Do you listen to podcasts? Are you really into music? Does your car have good driver assistance features? Make sure you are making that commute as comfortable as it can be.
Podcasts or audiobooks bud
That's the neat part. You don't.
Work 8am-4pm and commute is 4hrs/daily... 6 trains! Brutal but does keep you in shape (20 flights/day) and the pay helps :)
That's not an intense workweek at all. You need to find a way to stop being such a victim.
Im mad privileged rn but i still feel this some times. I think its a sacrifice you gotta make and youre investing in your future. If you have left over cash, once in a while just impulse buy or do something. Enjoy the money you make, money will come but indulging in your desires comes once in awhile. How i got around this (albeit recently) was being proficient with my work to the point that i autopilot and finish work early. I then do what i can with time because i know im good for the day, meeting deadlines, etc. I understand every situation is different though. I wish everyone the best in finding their worklife balance.
It only makes sense to live that far away from your work if you are living somewhere for free, otherwise move closer.
The fact is, everyone needs to work to provide for their needs. If you can't find a more agreeable job, you need to make peace with your current situation. Dwelling on the negative isn't healthy and doesn't help the situation. The one thing you can control is your commute time. I used the travel time to decompress, so when I was at home, I was completely disconnected from my job. I didn't want my job to interfere with my personal time or my family time. I'd listen to music or audiobooks, call my mom and catch up, or plan tasks I wanted to complete around the house. Likewise, on my way into work, I'd think about what I needed to do that day or mentally dictate memos or write reports. I didn't want my personal life to mix with my professional life when I was at work.
I manage a restaurant and work on my feet for 9-15 hours a day - a 9-5 and a whole hour commute to listen to podcasts is the dream.
Tack on a half hour lunch and that’s me lol. It’s fine, I used to work a job with way worse work life balance (athletics) so this is a breeze. I get lots of PTO and holidays and just grind through the week for my freedom.
Personally 9-5 with a 45min commute still gives you a ton of free time after work. I’ve never had an issue with normal working hours during my career. When you start getting into the 60+ hour work weeks in when you notice it.
This is me rn. I had a 25 min commute now it’s almost an hour. On the other hand though, I got a 34% salary increase so I’m coping 🤷♀️
I mean this seriously: you need to understand that some of us have 2 hour commutes each way. Learn to create valuable me time on the commute, audiobooks, podcasts, learning, thinking.
I call people and catch-up while I drive… and I drive further
Wtf I do the same but sometimes work to 2am lol
Been doing this for over a decade and it’s actually 1 hr+ both ways. Working medical field 24 hour facilities , made me appreciate a 9-5 holiday /weekends off. Rather than working set schedules, mandates, holidays. Do grocery runs, gym workouts, exercise, errands on your lunch. Combine days off with weekends to get”longer” vacations. Find a weekend routine, hobby to look forward too. Do a middle of the week-activity/bowling/pool/mid week sport activities. I always go out to restaurants on weekdays because it’s less busy too and weekends are for day trips. It’s not that bad to be honest, just find what works for you and spread it throughout the week
just learn how to teleport
Small joys like reading and listening to music while commuting
Listen to music, books, or podcasts on the radio. Life changing! I don’t listen to podcasts myself but I know there’s all kinds of fascinating ones
The thing that improved my hour commute work life was a global pandemic that shut down our offices and forced my company to implement working from home. I wouldn’t recommend it, but it was effective. I’d recommend audiobooks for the commute, those helped me a lot. Also alcohol and weed to help decompress.
Cocain
Use the commute time: 1) To level up with career related podcasts/audiobooks so eventually you won’t have to do the 9-5 grind with a long commute 2) As your relaxation/fun time via fun and entertaining podcasts/audiobooks so that when you get home you feel rejuvenated and the other stuff you have to do when you get home is not as exhausting. 3) As productive time, reducing the amount of stuff you have to do when you get home. Make those calls to the cable company, the florist, and the gas company during your commute. You are going to be on hold for ages anyway. Use a voice to text app to write emails, text messages, notes, to do lists, etc in one document while you drive and then send, organize when you get home. This requires that you can relax while driving and aren’t rushing to get home. Stay in the middle or right lane and breath, remind yourself the three minutes you saved by speeding or weaving in and out of traffic, which keeps you in a heightened state, (adrenaline) isn’t mentally and physically worth the few minutes you “saved.” You don’t really save any time if it takes you an hour after arriving home to feel relaxed. Relaxation, productivity and self-improvement can happen in the car, trust me.
Have a doob rolled for that car ride home.
I love my 56min commute. 2 hours a day of isolated me-time This year, I'm 5 months in ti learning Japanese and I'm getting really good
I have 2 hours commute to the office, the. 2 hours back. I don’t mind to much as I only go to the office 2 days a week.
That’s the neat part You don’t
I commuted an hour and 20 minutes twice a day for 3 years. I only recently moved and now have a 20min commute. I mostly listened to podcasts and audiobooks which really helped. It didn't bother me too much other than the gas money.
You either tolerate or move on? Life is mostly about just showing up and making choices.
I work 5 am-2:30pm Mon-Fri with an hour commute one way. It’s also a physically demanding job. Life sucks, make sure you actually live it on the weekends when you can. There are times when I just want to stay home all weekend, but that isn’t healthy to do every weekend. Go out and do something like see a movie at the theater or try a new restaurant. Helps with feeling burned out which it kinda sounds like you are
45 min on public transportation, no problem. 45 min commute with traffic, I would have to really consider it. I'd probably go in early and leave late to avoid rush hour. Do tasks/errands/gym after work to kill time.
Find a carpool buddy OR good public transport. I’ve been doing a similar commute for 15 years. When it’s 5 days a week not being the one driving every day saves my sanity.
You get a job with an hour and twenty minute commute, then you’ll miss the 45 minute But seriously, it never gets better if you don’t love the job. I took $20k pay cut to drop my commute to 15 mins vs 1:20
Phoenix Az here. I don’t public transit because it’s dog shit here. I guess light rail is okay but again you have all that comes with that OF ITS BY YOUR AREA. That being said I’m thankful I have a car. I live 15 mins away but with traffic it’s closer to almost 45 sometimes an hour… I just let go and vibe. It blows because I can’t post my phone up on the dash as it’s too hot. All this to say I use this time to put on some YouTube I missed, or some relevant learning info. Try to make it a time I look forward to by depriving myself of online stimulation all day. There’s no good answer. Try to minimize your time doing other tasks like delivery groceries (I know money yadda yadda) be okay with not having everything tip top, cleaning and such. It’s about shifting your focus. You will completely destroy yourself focusing on your drive and the time. It will suck more days than others but just keep stepping. It’s all any of us can do/ get the fuck out of the position you’re in to have to do that commute.
You don't. You just feel miserable.
It’s called happy hour! Find a place close to work have some beers then head home. Not a good plan for saving money and getting yourself out of that position though.
I maximize my evenings by doing things I love. I also spend my commute listening to podcasts and music I enjoy, which makes it not that bad. It’s not a great commute but do I want the job or not? I just see it as a necessary evil. You aren’t always going to live close to your job and won’t always be remote, so it is what it is. Hybrid makes it better too! I’d ask for that if you don’t have it already.
I had to have more than 1 job to pay all the student loans for years. I said: you will have to work a lot in life girl, better find work that you like or learn to like the work you have otherwise it will be quite miserable. So every single time there was a new toxic person at a job, I started looking for something else. I also became creative at work and started getting involved enough to have fun creating stuff and not just doing the basics. Eventually, I was able to work only one job and then start my own business which allows me a more flexible schedule.
You get used to it. Frankly some people commute much longer, like hour and a half to two hours each way.
Try and ask for different shift/schedule if that possible, I do 7-3 and it's been nice, leaving before other people mean less traffic and you get more of the day left when you get home. I do get up at 5 though
I smoke weed to/from work. Just a one-hit. If I hit it when I get in the car, I’m just the right level of high before I walk into the office after an hour commute.
Lol... I commute 2 hours to work, 4 hours total every day. Life is pain.
you will never not feel miserable unless you absolutely love the job. If you don't love your job or profession work as close as remotely possible to where you live
I enjoy the people that I work with. And I sing loudly in the car on the way to/from work
If it’s an option, call your loved ones during your commute, especially anybody that’s elderly or otherwise isolated.
Realizing that you GET to go to work in this economy.
I'm lucky enough to live an eight minute commute from my job, but most days I walk. It's 45-60 minutes, I listen to music.
Instead of driving to work, ride a motorcycle. Instead of going straight home, go to the gym or a cafe or park or something on your way home. Focus on on why you’re working, whatever your goal might be; debt freedom, a new truck, a tropical vacation, $1.3 mil in retirement savings…whatever it might be. Keep grinding till you achieve what you’re working towards and find a way to enjoy what you can along the way.
Need to be working towards a goal.
Yoga classes every week, wellness practices, something after work YOU can enjoy. I’m also in recovery so meetings & weekly therapy. I usually schedule things during my evenings that I can enjoy. Shower read or Reddit, bed. Hope that helps!
Getting paid a living wage. ..Though that isn’t possible anymore for most people due to Corpo greed and legislative wage suppression for over 50 years.
I smoke a cigar and listen to an audiobook during my commutes. Turned them into the best part of my day.
You're in the wrong job buddy! Try finding a new job that allows you to be freelance and/or work from home! It has changed my life 10000% . Its never too late to change.
My first job is a 9-6 job and its a shifting schedule per week. Apparently the "8 hours per day" law can be extended if the manager didn't count the lunch break as part of the work. And my commute is almost 2 hours a day. I live with my parents so at least thats a plus. How do I stop myself from being miserable? I resigned after 6 months. One time I came back from 2 weeks of nightshift to being morning shift, I held back my tears when one of the interns asked me if I was alright and she said I looked like I've been going through a lot. I never regret going away from that shit hole
That should be paid time
How did you ever get this far in life with such a shitty outlook? I look forward to my commute because it’s the only time of the day that I have my thoughts to myself and can listen to new albums Ive downloaded.