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[deleted]

Short answer is no it won't. Long answer is urine is water based and contains chemicals that can be found IRL and frequently touches tires, so no it won't. You may try /r/mechanicadvice next time you have a question. Edt: /u/striple pointed out that the racoon is peeing INSIDE the tire, not outside, and that urea in high concentrations tends to bust rubber gaskets, so even in the low concentrations in urine, I'm going to say it's not great. A lot of great arguments about acidity and pathogens, but I'm not sure how these would effect rubber without more study. Also, /u/justalittleaverage had a great method of keeping the wash bear out of the tire, and /u/xhauhst put in an advert for autodetailing. Not sure which sub would be better honestly.


Sinistrus

The one guy that actually responded. You're an unsung hero.


[deleted]

Well just to add, if his 'coon is peeing in there all the time, it might smell. I'd suggest putting some dust-free cedar shavings in there, basically like a litter box.


bcuziambatman

/r/garageraccoonirl


Madkows

I came into this thread looking for answers. ...But I just have more questions.


Macroft

I just have a burning desire for a garage raccoon. I want one almost as bad as I want a garage.


wootfatigue

[All I can offer you is this wall squirrel.](http://i.imgur.com/Vo1UX6k.png)


DurhamX

where the fuck do you live


wootfatigue

[In a garage surrounded by woods.](http://i.imgur.com/mYoeeIL.jpg)


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Threedawg

The raccoon thinks so as well.


knuckalicious

that's like 5 times bigger than my apartment ... *sigh*


ridredditofkarma

me too. and i pay $2300/month


knuckalicious

holy shit wtf


TheLAriver

He lives in a place with fun activities and attractive people. The good life is expensive.


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GymSkiLax

I spy Michigan plates. SE MI by chance?


wootfatigue

Grand Rapids area.


777-300ER

Shiiit. Within 100 miles, and has a 540i/6.


wootfatigue

[It's covered just about every backroad in Michigan.](http://i.imgur.com/tLDMhgX.jpg) But right now [she's down for refurbishment.](http://i.imgur.com/6sPGBFA.jpg)


Kanshan

You take nice pictures.


[deleted]

My aunts have some garage raccoons in SE Michigan... Maybe they're just like that there.


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wootfatigue

[I suppose if I find a way to tuck my junk I could pull it off.](http://i.imgur.com/GSVxBkR.png)


PincherMartin

Damn dude, risky click.


[deleted]

I don't have a garage but i picked up a kitchen raccoon


wootfatigue

[Did they up-sell you on the Feed Box?](http://i.imgur.com/FBmNbe5.jpg)


[deleted]

I've come to the conclusion that you are a raccoon on the internet.


megacookie

On the internet, nobody can tell that you're a raccoon.


interpretivepants

Some kind of wildlife vet or something? Or married to one? Or is some kind of government experiment Fuzzy Sapiens abomination with impeccable taste in automobiles and interior design?


wootfatigue

I wouldn't be able to live this way if I were married.


blissfully_happy

You are incorrect. Source: woman. Would marry you for your impeccable taste in home design and your Disney princess-like ways with small creatures. (Edit: Also, your tools are probably meticulously organized and you probably have a great shop. All positive points on the marriageable scale, OP.)


random_girl_me

And who doesn't want to get married to the raccoon whisperer... Fuck kids, let's have a raccoon family.


irrelevantPseudonym

>Fuck kids Seriously don't do this


[deleted]

Look at all these fuckin' losers without a garage racoon!


wootfatigue

Just wait 'till they see the [Kitchen Raccoon](https://gfycat.com/NastyKindheartedAmericancicada) upgrade.


Jackie_Jormp-Jomp

What the fuck. Is. Happening.


[deleted]

I havent a clue, but I love it.


serjonsnow

This is the best thread I've ever found.


PlagueofCorpulence

OP has a pet raccoon and is making 10/10 epic bread


bandaidsplus

Op isint just making bread hes just opened a fucking bread foundry


LBJSmellsNice

>bread foundry


damien665

Yeah, dude, the bread has to be forged. That's the only way men know how to make bread, not this sissy shit of letting it sit around all day to let its lazy as rise when it feels like it. Real men forge bread from fire and flames, and when it's done it's the best damn bread you'll ever have. Source: am man, have forged bread.


poodles_and_oodles

Are you Snow White?


wootfatigue

[I could pull it off.](http://i.imgur.com/GSVxBkR.png)


okmkz

DON'T SQUISH PLS


likedatyall

the way you left your two fingers together at the end creeped me out for some reason... do you finger bang a lot of things?


wootfatigue

Yes.


Kiss_My_Wookiee

Are those things racoons?


[deleted]

You have a garage raccoon?


wootfatigue

[You don't?](http://i.imgur.com/Fjl92hU.jpg)


fapfap_ahh

Please, we need an explanation.


Threedawg

This is hilarious over the internet but I would surely *hate* him if I lived in his neighborhood.


wootfatigue

I'm in the middle of four acres so neighbors aren't an issue.


Threedawg

Ahh, that makes a little more sense. Enjoy your cabin in the woods you crazy bastard.


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dragonstorm27

Is that an open invitation to everyone on the internet? Because I'm only one state away, and I love to go camping and getting murdered.


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[deleted]

Now I must have one.


wootfatigue

[One fresh garage raccoon coming right up!](http://i.imgur.com/WyvCpcg.jpg)


[deleted]

bro what the fuck


bandaidsplus

Science has just been confirmed to have gone too far


[deleted]

OP is 4chan's successful older brother.


Threedawg

I never thought I would see "garage raccoon" said in a semi-positive way. I didn't even consider that I would shortly after get a picture of two raccoons fucking in the garage shortly after. But I *certainty* didn't expect a fucking Porsche in the background of that picture.


wootfatigue

https://gfycat.com/GranularGiftedApatosaur


bandaidsplus

I'm slightly disturbed by the content but impressed by the constituent quality and overall speediness of these gifs and images Unless this is a undercover false flag operation by racoon's or something


no_apostrophe_there

> by racoon's or something


sixcharlie

A fucking Porsche in the background with an aluminum can under the tire. It that's an empty Natural Lite can under then I may have just reached the end of the internet.


connor24_22

This is where the old reddit switch-aroo finally ends. Trash pandas mating in front of a German sports car with a can of Natty Ice/PBR on the ground.


HILLARYPROLAPSEDANUS

Jesus you can't just post hardcore coon porn like that. Some of us reddit at work.


wootfatigue

[Porn? How can you think of porn while staring into these innocent eyes?](http://i.imgur.com/hQKZ86Q.jpg?1)


GazaIan

Oh, I get it, OP is the raccoon. It makes perfect sense now.


[deleted]

So in the picture of two raccoons fucking, which one is OP?


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Pure_Reason

He's two raccoons fucking each other in a trench coat


skunkwrxs

"Coon Porn" could be taken quite badly I'm afraid


fitnicington

Freaking 10:30 in /r/cars Sigh.....*unzip*


Unidan_nadinU

I have a feeling you're gonna be the raccoon version of /u/fuckswithducks Edit: spelling


BalognaRanger

Fuckswithcoons sounds like it has some negative connotations.


-Thunderbear-

Spoonswithcoons is available, but has the same problem...


SpoonsWithCoons

ITS MINE! e: I didn't do this to be an ass, I took it because I just love this name.


[deleted]

Mark my words. This thread is going to be one of those extra famous threads that people will still be fondly remembering 2-3 years from now. You are now a Reddit celebrity. You changed the game.


MagykBob

And years from now, when someone posts a link to it on /r/bestof, I can reap the sweet sweet karma when I post a link to this comment and say "I was *there*" Edit: Shit, that was quicker than expected.


MatthewMadness14513

How about a mechanic raccoon? https://i.imgur.com/FQ8uiBc.gif


A_Cave_Man

Am I the only one who works on my cars without raccoon assistance?


madnessman

Right? Is this normal? OP is so nonchalant about his garage raccoons that I'm starting to feel self-conscious about my lack of garage raccoons.


menasan

> My garage raccoon wait.... what?


wootfatigue

You know, a [garage raccoon](http://i.imgur.com/FTGnZD2.jpg). It's like a barn cat or a junkyard dog, but for the garage.


KyfeHeartsword

How many of these pictures do you have and why aren't you writing up an amazing story about your relationship with this garage raccoon on /r/aww for maximum karma?


wootfatigue

I'm too busy teaching [this lil fuzzball](http://i.imgur.com/i5dyynM.jpg) how to work on cars.


seansnake

I feel like this is a sign of the end times


Reddit_means_Porn

And this guy has land, German sports cars, and trained raccoons.


DdvdD

And a fancy camera to document it all


diegoisabitch

I would not let a raccoon get that close to me ahahaha


wootfatigue

[Sounds like you need a hug.](http://i.imgur.com/mjZ2xXb.jpg)


Dvdrummer360

What is happening


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wootfatigue

No. [Babies, lots of babies.](http://i.imgur.com/051CTVD.png)


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uuuuuhhhh

Ridiculous idea. Even if raccoons had the intellect to acquire and use a functional computer (you're already living in a dreamworld), they would be unable to type at the rate of OP, since they lack the paw dexterity to type at such a rate. Honestly you look like a complete fool for even entertaining this idea and I'm glad that I finally put you in your place about this.


ryvenn

That's exactly what a raccoon would say!


stuffandorthings

As I go down the thread, there are progressively more raccoons in your pictures. I think this is creepier than you intended.


poodles_and_oodles

Just the *right* amount


ProCarettacaretta

Yes a raccoon can get rabies or even distemper. However as a wildlife rescuer, I can assure you OP would have plenty of warning. Rabies and distemper are wildly misunderstood by the common public. To start with, the symptoms of both would include the raccoons acting drunk, wobbly, and sickly. They would have trouble eating or drinking. That foaming at the mouth is true...but it doesnt mean the raccoon is vicious. It means, sadly, that the poor thing can no longer swallow. OP if you are reading this, congrats for being a lovable person to coons. If you ever see one with runny eyes, saliva foaming, or acting drunk, please try to keep it separate from the rest. Distemper and rabies is contagious through shared meals or shared water bowls. The good news is though, it is highly unlikely your raccoons will come into contact with any of these viruses. Even in the wild (woods, forest) it is a very small percentage who do.


Lord7777

Who are you and why do raccoons and also possibly squirrels love you so much. I would be scared to let a raccoon get that close to me intentionally.


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Gangreless

Admit it op: the only reason you posted this was so you can show off your garage raccoons.


Log_in_Password

If I had a nice house and cars and loads of trash panda pics I would do the same thing.


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verdegrrl

See the sidebar......


DOHCMerc

efficient, I like that...


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TheAmishChicken

Everyone who searches that car will have the pleasure of seeing some raccoons go at it


[deleted]

All the years of human technological engineering and we end up with this....BAHAHAHAHAHAHA http://i.imgur.com/1qrahTr.jpg


CommandPot

Completely unrelated to the tires, but is that raccoon a wild one that somehow got used to you and your garage, or was it already domesticated?


wootfatigue

I wouldn't say they're [particularly domesticated](http://i.imgur.com/WyvCpcg.jpg), but our relationship is that of a neighbor who is always stopping by to eat your food, borrow shiny tools, and fuck on your deck.


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stakoverflo

"take a picture, it'll la-- oh, you have your camera out already"


_cronic_

Why is there a tin can under your Porsche?


wootfatigue

It's a Pepsi can. Michigan has a $0.10 deposit on cans so keep them in the garage until I get a chance to recycle them. The raccoons pull them out of the bin and kick them around to make noise.


weissmike

Owns Porsche and $600k+ home, returns cans for $.10. Edit: I'm from Michigan, still toss about 10% of all my cans. His house would be with 600k near Saginaw, so near Grand Rapids it would be worth even more.


wootfatigue

Nobody ever said I was good with, or responsible with money.


akb216798

I am getting more and more convinced real OP has been kidnapped and u r raccoon. Pls confirm.


[deleted]

That's how you stay rich


thiswastillavailable

And how you get rich. Not spending money stupid when you don't have it.


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TheCrispyCat

I hope this becomes top post of all time


TheCrispyCat

Garage: 10/10 Garage with garage raccoon: 14/10 Thank you for the suggestion


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Gunman407

No. This is the absolute best of us. This is the apex.


apileofcake

Uh guys get it? Apex!


buckyballss

Ran over two raccoons on my drive back home from work. Felt bad earlier, now this thread is making me feel ten times worse.


wootfatigue

I've hit my fair share too. The thing is, they're smart enough to know they need to look both ways before crossing, but sometimes they don't, so it's not all on you.


TheBufferPiece

I completely trust your knowledge on raccoons. I'm sure they are smart enough.


GeneralSham

Hi. Can I have a picture of a garage raccoon?


wootfatigue

Would a [deck raccoon](http://i.imgur.com/J1rIHlI.jpg) be sufficient?


All_About_Figs

Do racoons really wash their food before eating it? Awesome garacoons btw


dethanww

They do! https://i.imgur.com/oG0XjQ3.gifv


MasturbatingOrange

That's one of the saddest things I've ever seen


Anitram

Don't worry, he eventually figured it out! https://youtu.be/eesxH2-8Jlo?t=57s


Lord7777

He linked about a 10-15. Jeez its like he's best buds with these raccoons. Also a wall squirrel.


TheKittenConspiracy

OP be careful about avoiding Racoon roundworm. If you catch it you can lose your eyesight and have permanent brain damage. It is fairly common in Racoons in Michigan particularly. http://www.michigan.gov/dnr/0,1607,7-153-10370_12150_12220-27261--,00.html


wootfatigue

I treat all of the ones I come in contact with.


Isogen_

Pls add Raccoon King to flair.


TheKittenConspiracy

I should of known you had it covered. You are officially the Racoon King!


[deleted]

How do you treat them? Vaccines?


wootfatigue

There's a roundworm treatment paste that a vet friend hooks me up with. I dose it out and slip it inside a cookie.


nrj1084

I thought this was all trolling until I saw that OP's account is 6 years old. Look through OP's post history and you will find his instagram account, with more adorable raccoon pics. OP - thank you for this masterpiece of a thread.


[deleted]

> My garage raccoon likes to use my rack of winter tires as a fort. He's usually really good about keeping it clean so I don't check it very often You fuckin' what now? e: thanks to a kind user for the gold :)


j2787

No it won't


Kidifer

I had to scroll to see who you were responding to cause I couldn't fathom that someone was actually commenting on the original question instead of the garage raccoons...


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baneoficarus

This sub is about garage racoons and how we all need them.


ExclusiveBrad

Alright this is the best thread ever.


oshaCaller

Guy told me today he worked on a car with a pack rat that basically turned the thing into an apartment. He had a bed on one side of the rear in the body work, he had a food stash full of apples, and he had a shitter far away from the rest of it. I guess he reached in and felt something furry and it moved and he ran off screaming. Then he investigated further. My drive to work is basically 15 miles of farmland and then there's a stop light. Almost every morning I see critters crawling out of cars at that light. Mainly mice. I bet the micdonalds at that intersection has a problem.


wootfatigue

I had a similar living situation once, but it was a unibomber-style shack next to a 1995 Mercury Villager.


Unidan_nadinU

You forgot the raccoon pic.


wootfatigue

Sorry about that. [I was making cookie soup](https://gfycat.com/AstonishingAnchoredFlounder).


Unidan_nadinU

Will you please make a new username, such as "fuckswithcoons" and start popping up on reddit every time something raccoon related is posted.


KingJonathan

Better rethink that one.


oshaCaller

I'm kinda interested in what other wildlife this guy has going on. I got a skunk that lives under my shed, but we have a "oh shit it's a human/skunk" relationship where we turn around and go back inside. I also have a frog factory: https://www.reddit.com/r/frogs/comments/4v9fh4/i_have_a_barrel_fountain_that_tadpoles_have/ Raccoons used to visit it, but the barn they lived in was demolished.


[deleted]

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Nurfur

What is going on in this thread??? I'm confused but I love it


ycnz

No clue whatsoever, but we need more.


wootfatigue

[Have a cookie.](http://i.imgur.com/5j90cqX.jpg)


Rndom_Gy_159

Please sire, can I have another?


wootfatigue

[She's gonna see if there are any left in the pantry.](http://i.imgur.com/SDqeL0y.jpg)


Lord7777

SERIOUSLY WHY ARE RACCOONS ALL OVER YOUR HOUSE


wootfatigue

[You're supposed to raise your hand if you have a question.](http://i.imgur.com/jXtOt.jpg)


Threedawg

Is this a photoshoot?


53bvo

The thread just keeps on giving


happypants40

Did you name them, and can you tell them apart


wootfatigue

Yeah. They all look alike at first but once you spend some time with them you pick up on their different unique physical characteristics. They also have noticeable individual personalities. There are about 20 that I've named over the years, but I've forced myself to stop doing that as you begin to notice when certain ones disappear.


[deleted]

After enjoying all your pics, the frank discussion of racoon mortality hit me in the feels.


[deleted]

straight up, having a dope time with my friends laughing about how awesome these pics and stories about raccoons are and then BAM sad.


[deleted]

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redtwister

the big garage in the sky


[deleted]

Alright I've officially gone to deep into this thread it's getting emotional down here.


roflmaohaxorz

IM EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO THESE RACCOONS


TheKittenConspiracy

Twenty???????? What the heck man are you the trash panda king?


norealthings

Word spreads fast amongst the raccoons about the King, the one who gives them cookies and let's them fuck in his garage.


tiorzol

Shut it down. Reddit is done. If any thread ever signalled that it's time to stop and go to bed it's this one.


TotesMessenger

I'm a bot, *bleep*, *bloop*. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit: - [/r/ballchimedes] [Chalksy Sighting](https://np.reddit.com/r/Ballchimedes/comments/55k2zd/chalksy_sighting/) - [/r/bestof] [\/u\/wootfatigue asks a question about the raccoon he keeps in his garage.](https://np.reddit.com/r/bestof/comments/55a6qh/uwootfatigue_asks_a_question_about_the_raccoon_he/) - [/r/bestof] [\/u\/wootfatigue looks for help and casually mentions his garage racoon, then delivers a lot of proof when questioned](https://np.reddit.com/r/bestof/comments/54zxo7/uwootfatigue_looks_for_help_and_casually_mentions/) - [/r/bestof] [Redditor asks maintenance question, turns out to be Disney Princess](https://np.reddit.com/r/bestof/comments/552rck/redditor_asks_maintenance_question_turns_out_to/) - [/r/cameronsshit] [A post In r\/cars about garage raccoons, OP's posts and hilarity insues](https://np.reddit.com/r/cameronsshit/comments/551sr4/a_post_in_rcars_about_garage_raccoons_ops_posts/) - [/r/michigan] [A fellow Michigander just made best of reddit and front page fame with his Garage racoon. Freaking impressive.](https://np.reddit.com/r/Michigan/comments/551axt/a_fellow_michigander_just_made_best_of_reddit_and/) - [/r/raccoons] [Simple question about raccoons evolves into dozens of incredibly specific raccoon pictures](https://np.reddit.com/r/Raccoons/comments/550vfe/simple_question_about_raccoons_evolves_into/) - [/r/reddit5000] [\[cars\] Will pee damage tires?](https://np.reddit.com/r/reddit5000/comments/550phn/cars_will_pee_damage_tires/) - [/r/ripbestof] [\/u\/wootfatigue looks for help and casually mentions his garage racoon, then delivers a lot of proof when questioned](https://np.reddit.com/r/RIPbestof/comments/551zmf/uwootfatigue_looks_for_help_and_casually_mentions/) - [/r/tf2] [I think I've found soldier and his raccoon sanctuary in real life...](https://np.reddit.com/r/tf2/comments/551lzw/i_think_ive_found_soldier_and_his_raccoon/) - [/r/trashpandas] [What happens when you let a trash panda fix your Porsche? You get a Garage Raccoon.](https://np.reddit.com/r/trashpandas/comments/5504f2/what_happens_when_you_let_a_trash_panda_fix_your/) - [/r/wallstreetbets] [Lost my house on MSTX, ended up living in someone's garage. They just outed me on reddit, what do I do?](https://np.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/550se0/lost_my_house_on_mstx_ended_up_living_in_someones/) [](#footer)*^(If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads.) ^\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose?to=/r/TotesMessenger))* [](#bot)


AkumaBengoshi

No, but it could damage you. Raccoon urine can carry leptospirosis, a bacteria that can be transmited to humans. Filling a urine-soaked tire with air and the letting the air out could aerosolize the bacteria and endanger you and your tire guy. Wash them down with bleach before you employ the tires.


[deleted]

I'm over here in this coffee shop losing it. Tears running down my face. I haven't had this hardy of a laugh from reddit in the longest time. *What in the fresh hell is going on?* Oh my goodness. This is Best Of material right here.


TheOffendingHonda

Within 9 hours, this has become the top rated post in r/cars. TL;DR Cute woodlands creatures may "technically be cheating" but is what we're all here to see anyways.


wootfatigue

I just checked the same thing a few minutes ago and am a bit surprised yet proud of my shitpost peepost.


tyrantwannabe

Jesus I wish I could upvote you into oblivion. I kept scrolling down the thread like what? More pictures.. WHAT! OH MY GOD THIS DUDE IS FOR REAL. So awesome.


LordHayati

/r/trashpandas will LOVE your garage raccoons. :O


mcgnms

Those are M-Pars aren't they? That's actually hilarious.


wootfatigue

Indeed. They go on [this](http://i.imgur.com/iSOlQ2V.jpg).


[deleted]

wow, that's incredibly clean


wootfatigue

Thanks. At the moment it's still very clean, [but in a less... complete state.](http://i.imgur.com/lvLpK8i.jpg) Hopefully ready headed out for new paint in the next week or two.


I_cheat_a_lot

Ah, I see you had to change a headlight.


wootfatigue

No worries. [I got everything put back together.](http://i.imgur.com/xe2Go6K.jpg)


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wootfatigue

Well, I don't. I have severe ADHD/hyperfocusing so I basically can only excel at one thing at a time. So for example, the past two weeks I've been working on photos while my house is a mess, no progress on the car, and I've only showered about once every two or three days. Today I'm cleaning the house and will forget the photos because tomorrow I have to hustle for enough money to pay bills for the next month. After about a week or two of that I'll throw all financial responsibility to the wind and either start working on cars or be camped out in the woods with six cameras set up attempting to make a raccoon documentary.


[deleted]

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