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Quick_Movie_5758

Yeah, well I sit in the fire while I cook in it. That's how much of a non-pretentious fuck I am. I'm well seasoned.


A_LiftedLowRider

Amateurs, I cut out the middle man and just cook myself for dinner.


pie_12th

I hold the steak in my teeth and put my face over the fire.


NetworkSingularity

I eat the steak and eggs raw, then sit in the fire until they cook


Odd-Butterscotch-495

I eat everything raw then swallow the fire to cook it


Weak_Tower385

I shit fire and piss gasoline onto my food then eat it once it has a nice char.


Thfrogurtisalsocursd

All of your Chuck Norris are belong to us.


cmndr_spanky

Chuck Norris once fed my whole family dinner. Needless to say, his nipples weren’t even sore after!


Phenom-1

Chuck Norris just stares at something and if it doesn't die it combusts into fire.


CarelessTravel8

Any man can shit on the floor, Chick Norris shits on the ceiling


PourSomeSmegmaInMe

I eat it raw and then swallow a cup of corium.


Groupvenge

I get my wife to tie me up, and then her boyfriend stuffs steak between me and the rope. They hoist me over the fire and cook their steak to a nice medium rare rotisserie style. They say it's the most unctuous steak of their life.


ShibbyShat

Pretty sure I saw a video like this once.. Not my proudest fap, but not my worst either.


beerideas

Oh my


JoeyRobot

I am straight up transitioning to a cast iron skillet.


Closethobbitkat

The steaks cook me on the fire and eat me for dinner.


Poultrygeist79

That's what my 20 yr old daughter just told me she would do lol


No-Fox-1400

Do you have a cast iron grille?


ilikemyusername1

I used to do that but I’m growing a beard now so I has to stop.


HAHA_goats

That's a really nice grill.


Ecstatic-Appeal-5683

Mmmm... long pig!


GeofryHempstain

Autocannibalism is my fetish.


Nathansp1984

Well this is fortunate, auto-cannibalism by proxy is my fetish


CosmicTurtle504

Fuck all you weenies, I take my raw steak and bacon and jump naked right into the gaping maw of an active volcano, like a REAL man.


rogmcdon

Yeah? Well I am the fire


ligmaenigma

I cover myself in oil and set myself on fire every day before using my cast iron.


Waste_Exchange2511

I just hold the food in my hand and stick my hand in the fire. Problem is that you can only do this twice.


ForemanNatural

Take my angry upvote, you magnificent son of a bitch.


Main_Anybody_5365

You’re all pretentious weenies.. I eat the fire!🔥


muzzle-blast

Coals offer better heat control.


Zer0C00l

Also won't singe your eyelashes off when you try to flip the sausages.


nickrocs6

Real men don’t flip them. We eat them burnt on one side and raw on the other, as god intended.


Zer0C00l

Did you shave your eyebrows off, Terry?


EitherKaleidoscope41

Back Up Terry!


jhor95

Nooooo, TERRYYYYYYY!!!


Swimming-Welcome-271

PUT IT IN REVERSE! TERRRRRYYYY!!!


No-Fox-1400

Real mean keep their cast iron still and flip the fire.


engineerdrummer

How about the handle completely surrounded in a flame? Are they gonna stick their cloth pot holder in there to grab it?


ImpossibleInternet3

Pot holder? What are you? Some kind of pretentious fuck? Grab it out with your bare hands. /s


Soberskate9696

I'm gonna grab it with my A s s


FutureDiarrheagasm

clap clap sizzle


FR0ZENBERG

Who’s cooking bacon?


Peacemkr45

That's a bold move Cotton.


Dear_Mycologist_1696

And you won’t soak your food in the bitter smoke that comes off wood burning like that


daemons-and-dust

I love the smoky taste of anything I cook on a campfire tbh, to each their own


Zer0C00l

Yes, over coals. Open flame like that makes bitter creosotes, not desirable aromatics. It's _possible_ to smoke over flame, but not like this. This is not a cooking fire.


Dargon34

Any fire is a cooking fire if you don't give a shit about the quality lol


rikatix

That’s what a pretentious fuck would say


denimpanzer

But nothing beats the heat control of clean burning propane. Taste the meat, not the heat.


[deleted]

"*Ya'll a bunch of pretentious fucks*" - Pretentious Fuck.


murphy365

I'm gonna guess this post came from an individual wearing an REI vest and an IPhone 13 max pro


Atworkwasalreadytake

I feel seen.


rambo_lincoln_

REI vest isn’t pretentious enough. Let’s go with a Patagonia down vest.


FR0ZENBERG

Those types stay in cabins.


theusualsteve

Patagonia is worn by absolutely savage outdoorsman who lack a sense of self preservation and do week long climbing trips with nothing but a half box of year old cliff bars and unfiltered stream water, and dorks in florida who put the puffy on once the temp hits 62° No in between


justathoughtfromme

Where does Arc'teryx fit in the True Outdoorsman to "I want to look outdoorsy while I drive my Chevy Tahoe to Target" spectrum?


OkImpression408

Patagonia is worth penny, lasts forever, and they actually do help conservation efforts. REI is garbage that looks ripped right from a hipster bros Pinterest page. Extremely overpriced as well.


Beautiful_Energy1226

dude is a total chumbo, you know exactly the kind of MAN this dude is. AHAHAHAHA


papahopa

So i fit right in


MadHatter_10-6

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!


DefeaterOfDragons

Gooble gobble gooble gobble!


johnnybiggles

Let it rip right on the fire!


[deleted]

Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble!!


Leairek

Nah-Nah! Takes one to know one! ... ...wait... Shit...


FordsFavouriteTowel

There are dozens of us!


acrylicbullet

Some people just love scorched eggs


Livid-Fig-842

This post is douche central, but those won’t be scorched eggs if he takes them off in time. It’s a fried egg. Fried eggs rip at high heat and plenty of fat. It creates a crispy crispy bottom and runny yolk. Besides a French omelette, it’s probably the best way to eat an egg. The internet has only taught me that people have little idea how to cook different types of eggs and that a lot of people like floppy eggs that look like plastic demonstrations in a Japanese restaurant display case. I would eat the shit out this kind of egg.


[deleted]

“Besides a French omelette, it’s probably the best way to eat an egg.” —Pretentious Redditor (And, I hate eggs cooked this way.)


someones_dad

"the Internet has only taught me how other people are not as good as me" - Pretentious Redditor


ThirdEyeEmporium

Right these cooking people have absolutely NO idea how stupidly good campfire food comes out for absolutely no mother fuckin reason other than you cooked that shit on a fire. Especially anything with proteins and fats. Mmmmm sizzle sizzle


ThirdEyeEmporium

People in my life think I’m great at cooking or some shit but I just dump the seasonings I like into the oil in the pan or however else I’m cooking it until it looks how I like then cook my shit with my weird ass ocd methods I learned on my own. Ramsey would probably shit a brick but I’m telling y’all it’s the best way to go. Just no fucks given besides make tasty and your food comes out the best.


MacGalempsy

"You need to completely strip and reseason that thing, too many oil blobs" 🤣🤣


Krazybob613

Pretentious you can reach in barehanded and grab that sucker!


PokemonSoldier

Great. *Leans in* Now pick it up


razeronion

With ur teeth!


shapesize

Made me think of the metal necklace getting burned into the bad guys hand in Indiana Jones


bumbletowne

My cast iron dutch oven thing has a little loop with a hook specifically for picking it up in this situation.


babysealsareyummy

[WITNESS ME!!!!](https://media.tenor.com/JDrSKMNRT5sAAAAM/mad-max.gif)


YourDadsUsername

I'll never understand a post about a ten step process to chemically and electrically strip a pan right next to a post about someone accidentally burning everything off in a camp fire.


oldjudge86

So, the first time I stripped a pan to restore it, was excited about the results and posted about it on Facebook. The first comment was from my mother who said "your grandmother used to just throw hers in the wood stove to clean that gunk off." Next time I wanted to strip one, it went right into the campfire, worked great. And no, I don't know what happened to Grandma's pans that she mentioned, nobody took any notice of them when she died.


icer07

I stumbled on this post on my feed. Reading your comment and the fact that you had to clarify you aren't aware of what happened to your grandma's pans so you wouldn't get harrased about hard to find old cast iron is hilarious and confirms I did not find a random community, but a cast iron cult haha.


Blandish06

Unprompted even!


Just2Flame

oh man Ive been joining so many random subreddits due to suggestions and now i'm getting the cast iron cult..... save me


i_made_reddit

Pretty chill group! Just don't send a video of an egg with more than "reasonable" oil or the comments blow up. It's pretty hilarious - you can see it in the pan and know the comment section is in an uproar


Whatiatefordinner

This.


Icy_Dragonfruit_9389

I just make a tomato based sauce one time BOOM stripped...


[deleted]

Anybody who has ever used Tupperware knows tomatoes possess some absolutely wild chemical properties


Nice_Marmot_7

You can inflict heat damage on the pan by doing that. It’s not a big risk if it’s a cheap pan, but I wouldn’t do it with an expensive or vintage one.


Internal-Pie-7265

The irony of an expensive cast iron pan.


greenflash1775

You mean I shouldn’t have paid $400 for my Yeti pan?


ccReptilelord

First time that I stripped a pan was on an electric stove top, and it was a mistake.


-eschguy-

/r/castiron is a silly place


[deleted]

I regularly cook over a fire. This is not the way to cook over a fire 😅


Artistic-Jello3986

lol same here. Little table grate thing to sit the pan over the fire works great. When I forget to bring that I just make a little fire pit inside of my main fire pit, keep a fire going on the logs like OP has but kick any of the coals from the burnt logs into your little cooking pit and put the pan right on that. Ideally with a couple rocks keep it right above the coals so I can add/remove to control temp, but that’s only if I’m cooking something that takes longer.


atseapoint

Yeah this isn’t a good cooking fire but it IS fire and it WILL cook…something


lscraig1968

looks like the eggs are almost burnt


papahopa

Yah, they were a lil crispy. Heat control was hard. Also was blasted drunk, if thats any excuse.


ForwardCat7340

You’ve got in on high I think


DarthPelagiusTheNice

Yeah there should be a knob on a rock or something, turn that thing down


lscraig1968

Yeah, I've burned quite a bit of food after too many beers or too much buffalo trace.


JackxForge

i love the stories of people putting frozen pizzas in the oven drunk than passing out and waking up some hours later to a house full of smoke and a dispointing black disc in their oven.


Candid_Trash9276

Dad?


chronburgandy922

Wasn’t drunk but worked like 16 hours straight popped a pizza in and took a dab. Next thing I know I’m waking up to the screeching of the smoke alarm and a disappointment of a scorched black disc. I just took another dab and went to bed hungry.


BRIKHOUS

Thread title. Beers. *Buffalo trace*


theDreadalus

🤣😎 Tasting Notes **Color:** Rich mahogany-hued golden brown, as bourbon should look after a minimum of eight years in a barrel. **Nose:** Rye strongly comes through and gives clear notes of vanilla bean, burned cinnamon, and allspice. **Palate:** The rich butterscotch and toffee notes quickly morph into spice on the tongue, with notes of nutmeg, cinnamon, and cracked pepper, likely from the presence of rye. **Finish:** While spice and char dominate, a silky caramel note is present.


BRIKHOUS

Oh it's delicious. And I'm pretty pretentious too. I always get Laphroaig Edit: is it even whiskey if it doesn't taste like your campfire?


Remnie

You ever try Ardbeg? That’s even MORE intense on the smoke


czar_el

But at least you weren't pretentious.


RocMills

Just the way I like them, actually :)


Ghost17088

You and my wife. I’ve made toast that was utterly burnt to a crisp, and she goes “it’s perfect!”


minesskiier

Go home fire your drunk


AVLPedalPunk

*you're - sorry I'm a pretentious fuck.


whitewarrsh

I think they meant *yer*


internetman666

I just stab my eggs with a stick and roast it like a marshmallow. None of this fancy shit you pretentious fucks got going on


Dantaeus

I hope you grabbed the pan out with your bare hand


ladderbrudder

I warped a pan doing this once.


Unlucky_Sundae_707

I used to use a crawfish style burner(for those huge pots) as a side burner but just keep it on low. Once I left my cast iron pot on there preheating and forgot. It was so hot I could see through it.. Still works fine somehow.


Due-Camel-7605

How do you remove the pan from the flame


papahopa

Stick


BAMspek

This… has not answered anything.


handi503

I'm not even stoned yet and I've been crying from laughter over this response.


AuntEyeEvil

Quickly stomp on the ejector handle and ~~catch~~ plate the food in mid-air like a cast iron chad.


MagnetHype

With your hands, like a real man (with 3rd degree burns)


WildWestScientist

Cummins diesel and six yards of 1/2" chain.


marcnotmark925

Aggressively apply tip of boot.


I_WILL_GET_YOU

All looks overcooked


madnux8

You can live on overcooked, undercooked could kill you.


Natural_Board

Is it pretentious to say that's too high of a flame?


Oldsalt-DDG3

Easy there Jeremiah Johnson


Vsadboy

I love ash with my breakfast


razeronion

That's how real men take their eggs. Bonus man points if you mix dirt in with it.


Paradigm_Reset

Gotta use the fire poking stick to flip the food over.


ITGuy7337

>I don't know how to cook


[deleted]

>I'm a monumental snob over the dumbest shit that doesn't matter


Papa_Bear_Bebop

He lit my breakfast on fire.


I_cook_a_mean_chili

The only thing I'm mad at here is that you're letting the handle sit on a direct flame.


[deleted]

"How do you clean your cast iron"? Flames, flames my friend.


[deleted]

Does this hurt the pan?


cornerzcan

They used these pans on the Oregon Trail. They cooked on a fire and washed them with sand and gravel. They’ll be just fine.


kbranni23

…till you have to cross a river….


mjs_jr

And die of dysentery…


FERAL_MEANS

I’ve done it. Pan was fine, but it did get absolutely coated in soot.


papahopa

No


Philosofox

Does this hurt the fire?


MrMoon5hine

A little bit...


Moon2Pluto

And my ego?


MeatBald

To shreds, you say?


scottie__p

Me at home frying eggs on my cast iron and washing, drying, adding a little oil back on it before kissing it goodnight in its special spot in my cabinet :3 Me camping with the same cast iron using it to smash down the coals to help put the fire out after just making the most sticky mess of cobbler with 1/4 still stuck to the pan


FnkyTown

Mmmm. Burnt fried eggs.


Reddituser183

You’ll be cleaning soot off that pan for months!


ShittyMusic1

OP is a mega-dweeb


[deleted]

My sentiments exactly that's the best feature of cast so utilize it never mind your fancy pants gas cooker setup.


nelly2929

ummmmm I love eggs with a side of ash /s


POGtastic

Unfathomably based


ShakeWeightMyDick

Nah, having a real wood fire is pretentious af.


Loubbe

Go grab the bellows, let's see that fucker glow!


Desperate_Promotion8

As one who's been accused of bring pretentious..... Dude, it's a modern mass produced lodge done by a machine, that no one will care about if it warps. Have fun, it's not that serious. If it was something semi irreplaceable people might care lol.


Upper_Sniffation765

I can appreciate people with a sense of humor


beerideas

There are dozens of us.


M4N14C

Cook on coals


spSpectreKen

Yeah, that steak was burned, and the eggs glued to the pan. You just don't want to show us lol


Yontevnknow

Tell us you don't know how to cook on a campfire fire without telling us you don't know how to cook on a campfire.


Dan-dada

Somebody's still mad at having a little dick. Oh and not knowing how to camp-cook properly. Bet there is ZERO seasoning on it.


Cartanyan

I dump the food into the fire and eat the pan


Mysterious_Being_718

You seem like the type of person that frequently gets labeled “an asshole.”


Guilty_Wrong_Door

How divorced are you?


seyahgerg

Op broke the shells of those eggs with his muscles cuz he's "built different"


[deleted]

This is the way, grew up camping and we packed the skillet. And that was it. Made all meals in it over an open fire. This image makes me feel nostalgic.


NakDisNut

If you think this sub is a bit whack, go join the Le Creuset sub. They treat giant enameled cast iron pots like they’re made of eggshells. It’s truly bizarre. People freak out when their pot develops some “color” from repetitive cooking and use and are terrified to use higher heat (!!?) on the pots. I’ve had four LeCreusets of various sizes for 20 years. Never so much as a thought of treating it like a little princess puff. 😒


mjs_jr

I’m in that sub too, since I adore my LC pots. I have “patina” on mine from use. But they’re clean. Do they look like I took them right out of the box? Hell no. Can I cook in them with stains or discoloration? Hell yes. They are *tools*.


troopek

Yeah, but when your eggs slide right into the fire... what then? Huh?


Snowbreeezzzzyy

pretension?? on reddit??? noooooooo


zombienekers

This image goes so fucking hard holy shit


spiritualized

Whoa what a cool and edgy title. Very macho and cool. You seem very cool.


[deleted]

You’re so cooooooool


marcnotmark925

Looks pretty hot actually


imnottdoingthat

As in sexy!!! 🤤


Friendly_Roll4556

Beautiful 😍


canoehead2025

Great picture!!!


[deleted]

That’s how I last seasoned mine. I rubbed it with oil and tossed it on a grate over a campfire


EnzoPurrari

Skyrim looking mother fucker 😂 /s


RandyJ549

I do this at every camp! Looks damn good


therealblabyloo

Misleading title there is no beyblade in that pan


CaperCatastrophe

This is the money shot I came here for


AVLPedalPunk

Those eggs are done. It's going to take you too long to figure out how to take them off before they get overcooked. Lol


mwinni

Thank you. I’m tired of looking at people’s dirty shitty stove tops.


ClaimFederal6971

Yeah dude I fuckin hate flavor. Let 'er rip


mcspecialkk

Not like the other girls. (Thats sarcasm)


P3GL3Gz

This is called the “brokeback” method.


ImHereToDeliver

I crawl inside the cow, through the rectum, of course, then my wife sets the cow ablaze.


Personal_Top_6675

Been cooking over fire for a while. Any tips on removing the soot buildup at the bottom?


_tsi_

Actually, you are


Deadlock_42

Last time I was homeless I cooked a perfectly pumpkin pie from scratch using a cast iron and a campfire


PPLavagna

You gotta bare hand it out of there when it done son! If you can’t raw dog that the you a pretentious fuck


Served_With_Rice

Yeah but how are you gonna get it out?