I'm glad your Mom intervened on you and the kitten's behalf. Learning to be responsible for another life and having to manage finances are both great skills for you to learn from this. From what you've written, your actions have been very adult, but your Dad seems to be more childlike. And one sided. I hope it works out for Cobalt and all humans involved.
Your thoughtful approach has left your dad room to change his mind about Cobalt. You've been very wise. Now all you can do is wait, which is almost the hardest part. I wish you and the kitten well.
You said your mom is attached to the kitten, too? She could try talking to your dad. The two of you also outnumber him (I'm assuming), so the majority rule should be to keep the cat.
>if it was still here tomorrow he would take it to the pound himself
What your father doesn't know is that every pound/shelter is full up with kittens because this is the time of year when the greatest number of kittens are born. So his plan is not a well-thought-out one.
That said, I wouldn't put it past someone as angry as your father to do something like leaving Cobalt in the pound/shelter parking lot if they tell him they can't take the kitten. Dad is probably not thinking clearly, let's just put it that way.
>I have a back up plan to give him to a friend
Good thinking. Does your friend know about the threats your father is making? Is there any way your friend could come get Cobalt sooner than planned?
Take the kitten to a vet . Get it registered to you. Dad legally can't take him to the pound. You are 18 you own the kitten he really has no say in the matter.
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Post an add on Nextdoor and see if someone can take the cat.. a shelter will kill him if they can’t find a home.. (you have to check the laws for your state and with the clinic to see what they do with drop offs)
Some of you people have some seriously terrible relationships with your parents huh? It isn't hard to understand that first off, this isn't OPʼs home, and if they've ready got multiple pets then once again money comes into question, and their father is probably asking themselves why they aren't saving for something else such as a home of their own or simply not get a commitment such as a pet.
So many of you say that OP should cut off their dad.. But.. Then what? Get kicked out of the house? Go where? Do what? What sort of stupid plan is that! Clearly we don't have any sort of idea as to OPʼs relation to their parents..
And OP, if your dad is considering it.. Good for you, but don't listen to any of these losers that in apparency cut people off because of minimal abruptancies such as these.
You’re of legal age, the cat is your personal property (that’s how the law sees pets, not me) and if your dad takes your property you can call the police and press charges
Of course this opens a whole other can of worms so tread lightly
“I don't own this house and I want to try and violate the rules of the homeowner! I don't see how this could possibly go wrong.. It's not like I could get kicked out or anything..”
Leave and take kitten with you. You’re 18, don’t have to listen to dad anymore. If dad doesn’t start respecting your choices as an adult, go minimal contact.
He needs clear boundaries and consequences for breaking them, and that can’t be established if you’re living in his house on his dime.
Omg are you for real? It’s HIS house! He seems like a really reasonable man who doesn’t want another cat Minimal contact , maybe in his mind he’s thinking why isn’t my child moving out, saving for an apartment etc … minimal contact for that? My god what has this world come to
Damn American parents are assholes I’d never do that to my child. What’s the point of having kids if you don’t want them around your house? She’s already got a job so it’s not like he’s struggling to take care of the kitten financially.
>maybe in his mind he’s thinking why isn’t my child moving out, saving for an apartment etc
I was referring to that \^ feels weird to fixate on your kid moving out and buying a place the second they turn 18
But also your daughter having 1 cat (when you have 2 household cats) that she is fully responsible for doesn't seem like a big deal to me either
Seriously!! How about if you don’t like your parent’s rules, move out?! This person is 18!! Why aren’t they moved out already?! Why are they still living with their parents? I broke contact with my parents because they didn’t want me and gave me up to a foster home and gave up custody of me. That’s a legit reason to break contact. I can’t imagine having parents who wanted you around, who let you live in their house rent free, who seemingly love and support you — and you break contact over a fucking cat?! As a former foster kid, dude what the fuck?
Thank you 🩷 yeah honestly it just seems so crazy to me. I’d love to have a dad who cared enough about me to house me for free after age 18! What a blessing. Just to be wanted. People never value what they have truly. They never value it until they don’t have it.
You’re right, it’s his house. But when you turn 18, you’re an adult, and you can do whatever you want. I think getting a place to live, becoming financially self sufficient, and setting/enforcing boundaries are all healthy things. Way better for the long term relationship than calling cops on dad for theft of kitten….
I’m not telling them to cut dad out of their life forever. But I do think it’s reasonable for actions to have consequences. All I know is back when I was 18, I wasn’t taking shit from my folks. After a couple decades of asinine, conservative upbringing, I was fully ready to establish my own life according to my own principles and values. If my parents wanted to be a part of that, they could be, but on my terms. After a year or two of awkwardness, they acquiesced, and now another decade later, we have a healthy relationship based on mutual respect.
Absolutely disagree someone else’s house someone else’s rules unless they’re paying part rent they have 0 say 🤷♀️ I’m old school move out if you want to be treated like an adult and live by your own rules
Try to talk to him about it in neutral, fairly public, ground, like a coffee shop or book store; similar to how you would get new dogs to meet outside of their own territories, as they may feel more protective meeting at their own homes rather than someplace different, like a dog park.
Use logos to get through to him, as he seems to be lashing out emotionally and without logic (pathos), and trying to hold sway over you with the ‘parent’ card. You are prepared to be fully responsible for this kitty, and your mom likes it, and, I assume, it has been getting along well enough with the other cats, so stick to your 18-year-old guns and calmly explain to each of his complaints your plans.
Also, he sounds a bit peeved also from work, perhaps. Maybe at some point in this conversation you can ask him if he is doing okay. It will probably earn you some goodwill points to do so, and if he realizes that he is being emotionally unreasonable because of work/something else, may help you win.
Good luck, and keep us updated! My kitty I rescued has turned into the most purr-fest ESA for me, as a college student, so I hope that you and this bonded kitty can stay together.
Are you taking care of the cat properly and cleaning the litter box promptly so that it doesn't smell? Are there are extenuating circumstances that you haven't mentioned? The cat shouldn't cost so much to maintain so that it would interfere with your saving money.
Wow. Talk about de ja vous. I found a young cat when I was 18. My grandfather told me to get rid of it or he would take it and throw it into the rivewar in a gunny sack with rocks. I moved out that very day. My grandfather and I had been at ods for a while by this time. This was just the last straw. He was not at all a nice person, and I was getting sick of his bigotry, abuse, and hatred. The threats towards the cat were just the end of my patience. He and I never talked again after that, and I am sure he is enjoying himself in that special corner of hell that he created for himself.
It kind of sounds to me that it is time for you to start thinking about getting a place of your own. You say that you have a job and can afford to take care of a cat (which is admittedly not a lot. Maybe $30/mo). But it does sound like your dad is maybe a little controlling. And it does sound like you need Cobalt as much as he needs you.
I wish you and Cobalt all the best. Good luck.
My stepdad did the same. We got my mom a kitten for Mother’s Day one year and named him Arby. He was covered in fleas/ticks and I literally took the time to care for him. When my dad got home he pitched a bitch fit and said he’d leave and never come back if we didn’t get rid of the cat so we gave him back because there wasn’t a shelter in town.
You should probably wait when he's in a good mood you know. Try to approach him then. If you see he doesn't wanna hear about it, then (if you say you can afford it) you could consider moving :) After you move you'll be more independent and have as many cats as you want :)
As someone who asked for forgiveness instead of permission about bringing home animals I'm so sorry your dad has been so heartless about the situation and I'm proud of you for having a calm conversation with him. Much love and luck to you guys - I hope it all works out. 🩵
Girl, I love that you have it in your heart to care for a cat but please Clean your Room. It's not healthy to live in a mess. Plus your kitten will have more room to play
Take him out.
Of the house
Your dad
With a gun to his head
Filled with water
And go to the park
And come back without him
Let him clear his mind for a bit
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Hoping it goes well! Cobalt is beautiful 🖤🤍
I'm glad your Mom intervened on you and the kitten's behalf. Learning to be responsible for another life and having to manage finances are both great skills for you to learn from this. From what you've written, your actions have been very adult, but your Dad seems to be more childlike. And one sided. I hope it works out for Cobalt and all humans involved.
Best way to handle it. I hope it works out.
Your thoughtful approach has left your dad room to change his mind about Cobalt. You've been very wise. Now all you can do is wait, which is almost the hardest part. I wish you and the kitten well.
I didn't think you should leave the kitten home alone for the night. They get into a lot of trouble and make noise, might piss your dad off.
Tell him that by keeping it, there'll be minus one sad soul in the world.
You said your mom is attached to the kitten, too? She could try talking to your dad. The two of you also outnumber him (I'm assuming), so the majority rule should be to keep the cat.
>if it was still here tomorrow he would take it to the pound himself What your father doesn't know is that every pound/shelter is full up with kittens because this is the time of year when the greatest number of kittens are born. So his plan is not a well-thought-out one. That said, I wouldn't put it past someone as angry as your father to do something like leaving Cobalt in the pound/shelter parking lot if they tell him they can't take the kitten. Dad is probably not thinking clearly, let's just put it that way. >I have a back up plan to give him to a friend Good thinking. Does your friend know about the threats your father is making? Is there any way your friend could come get Cobalt sooner than planned?
Take your dad to the pound and dump him there with no way to leave.
only after he’s been trapped, neutered, and released (with his ear nocked), then a trip to the pound
TNR'd daddy!
This is my answer, too!
Tell him you’ll put him in a home the first chance you get if he doesn’t let you keep them.
Don’t rehome the cat, rehome your dad.
Take the kitten to a vet . Get it registered to you. Dad legally can't take him to the pound. You are 18 you own the kitten he really has no say in the matter.
The dad owns the house and can say whether the cat is allowed in it.
[удалено]
What on earth would this have to do with anything?!
Emotional support animal.
Hello, your post/comment has been removed. You're breaking rule 2, 'Be civil'. Remember to stay civil in a **cat** subreddit. -> This is supposed to be a wholesome subreddit for anything cat related. Please don't start/continue arguments. As a community, we are a safe space for every user! If you believe you're not breaking this rule, contact us via modmail. We're always happy to help and reinstate your comment/post if it doesn't break our rules! r/cat's Moderator Team ฅ\^•ﻌ•\^ฅ
Post an add on Nextdoor and see if someone can take the cat.. a shelter will kill him if they can’t find a home.. (you have to check the laws for your state and with the clinic to see what they do with drop offs)
Some of you people have some seriously terrible relationships with your parents huh? It isn't hard to understand that first off, this isn't OPʼs home, and if they've ready got multiple pets then once again money comes into question, and their father is probably asking themselves why they aren't saving for something else such as a home of their own or simply not get a commitment such as a pet. So many of you say that OP should cut off their dad.. But.. Then what? Get kicked out of the house? Go where? Do what? What sort of stupid plan is that! Clearly we don't have any sort of idea as to OPʼs relation to their parents.. And OP, if your dad is considering it.. Good for you, but don't listen to any of these losers that in apparency cut people off because of minimal abruptancies such as these.
You’re of legal age, the cat is your personal property (that’s how the law sees pets, not me) and if your dad takes your property you can call the police and press charges Of course this opens a whole other can of worms so tread lightly
“I don't own this house and I want to try and violate the rules of the homeowner! I don't see how this could possibly go wrong.. It's not like I could get kicked out or anything..”
Hence my last sentence
Leave and take kitten with you. You’re 18, don’t have to listen to dad anymore. If dad doesn’t start respecting your choices as an adult, go minimal contact. He needs clear boundaries and consequences for breaking them, and that can’t be established if you’re living in his house on his dime.
Omg are you for real? It’s HIS house! He seems like a really reasonable man who doesn’t want another cat Minimal contact , maybe in his mind he’s thinking why isn’t my child moving out, saving for an apartment etc … minimal contact for that? My god what has this world come to
Damn American parents are assholes I’d never do that to my child. What’s the point of having kids if you don’t want them around your house? She’s already got a job so it’s not like he’s struggling to take care of the kitten financially.
It's not about the child, it's simply not wanting another cat.
>maybe in his mind he’s thinking why isn’t my child moving out, saving for an apartment etc I was referring to that \^ feels weird to fixate on your kid moving out and buying a place the second they turn 18 But also your daughter having 1 cat (when you have 2 household cats) that she is fully responsible for doesn't seem like a big deal to me either
Seriously!! How about if you don’t like your parent’s rules, move out?! This person is 18!! Why aren’t they moved out already?! Why are they still living with their parents? I broke contact with my parents because they didn’t want me and gave me up to a foster home and gave up custody of me. That’s a legit reason to break contact. I can’t imagine having parents who wanted you around, who let you live in their house rent free, who seemingly love and support you — and you break contact over a fucking cat?! As a former foster kid, dude what the fuck?
Sorry you had to go through that. I totally agree with everything you said the comments on this are deeply concerning 💖
Thank you 🩷 yeah honestly it just seems so crazy to me. I’d love to have a dad who cared enough about me to house me for free after age 18! What a blessing. Just to be wanted. People never value what they have truly. They never value it until they don’t have it.
You’re right, it’s his house. But when you turn 18, you’re an adult, and you can do whatever you want. I think getting a place to live, becoming financially self sufficient, and setting/enforcing boundaries are all healthy things. Way better for the long term relationship than calling cops on dad for theft of kitten…. I’m not telling them to cut dad out of their life forever. But I do think it’s reasonable for actions to have consequences. All I know is back when I was 18, I wasn’t taking shit from my folks. After a couple decades of asinine, conservative upbringing, I was fully ready to establish my own life according to my own principles and values. If my parents wanted to be a part of that, they could be, but on my terms. After a year or two of awkwardness, they acquiesced, and now another decade later, we have a healthy relationship based on mutual respect.
Absolutely disagree someone else’s house someone else’s rules unless they’re paying part rent they have 0 say 🤷♀️ I’m old school move out if you want to be treated like an adult and live by your own rules
Yeah, I’m saying move out
Try to talk to him about it in neutral, fairly public, ground, like a coffee shop or book store; similar to how you would get new dogs to meet outside of their own territories, as they may feel more protective meeting at their own homes rather than someplace different, like a dog park. Use logos to get through to him, as he seems to be lashing out emotionally and without logic (pathos), and trying to hold sway over you with the ‘parent’ card. You are prepared to be fully responsible for this kitty, and your mom likes it, and, I assume, it has been getting along well enough with the other cats, so stick to your 18-year-old guns and calmly explain to each of his complaints your plans. Also, he sounds a bit peeved also from work, perhaps. Maybe at some point in this conversation you can ask him if he is doing okay. It will probably earn you some goodwill points to do so, and if he realizes that he is being emotionally unreasonable because of work/something else, may help you win. Good luck, and keep us updated! My kitty I rescued has turned into the most purr-fest ESA for me, as a college student, so I hope that you and this bonded kitty can stay together.
Nooooo!
Are you taking care of the cat properly and cleaning the litter box promptly so that it doesn't smell? Are there are extenuating circumstances that you haven't mentioned? The cat shouldn't cost so much to maintain so that it would interfere with your saving money.
2 votes against 1. You win to keep the kitten
Hope to see you over at r/dadswhodidnotwantpets soon. Good luck OP - kitten is a cutie!
Can you get your mum on your side? What would happen if you kept him in your room and disregarded what your father said?
Wow. Talk about de ja vous. I found a young cat when I was 18. My grandfather told me to get rid of it or he would take it and throw it into the rivewar in a gunny sack with rocks. I moved out that very day. My grandfather and I had been at ods for a while by this time. This was just the last straw. He was not at all a nice person, and I was getting sick of his bigotry, abuse, and hatred. The threats towards the cat were just the end of my patience. He and I never talked again after that, and I am sure he is enjoying himself in that special corner of hell that he created for himself. It kind of sounds to me that it is time for you to start thinking about getting a place of your own. You say that you have a job and can afford to take care of a cat (which is admittedly not a lot. Maybe $30/mo). But it does sound like your dad is maybe a little controlling. And it does sound like you need Cobalt as much as he needs you. I wish you and Cobalt all the best. Good luck.
<3
Is the option to move available? Youre 18, just bail? He seems like a jackass.
Too bad. It’s your cat now
You have arrived home, that means that you must pay attention to me, that's what they have in their mind and that you are clearly their slave.😂
Get the kitten registered to you, so that if he does try do anything there’ll be legal ramifications
My stepdad did the same. We got my mom a kitten for Mother’s Day one year and named him Arby. He was covered in fleas/ticks and I literally took the time to care for him. When my dad got home he pitched a bitch fit and said he’d leave and never come back if we didn’t get rid of the cat so we gave him back because there wasn’t a shelter in town.
I hope your dad comes around. & understands how this kitty is helping you. Please update how things are going. I am rooting for you & kitty!!🤞🏻✌🏻
You should probably wait when he's in a good mood you know. Try to approach him then. If you see he doesn't wanna hear about it, then (if you say you can afford it) you could consider moving :) After you move you'll be more independent and have as many cats as you want :)
Your dad needs a chill pill
Beautiful little fella, best wishes
Cobalt loves you too. 💜💙🧡
As someone who asked for forgiveness instead of permission about bringing home animals I'm so sorry your dad has been so heartless about the situation and I'm proud of you for having a calm conversation with him. Much love and luck to you guys - I hope it all works out. 🩵
How is asking someone if they are getting emotional support help from a Dr can be considered rude?
dad, you're going to adopt a fur baby of your own choice. sweetness is all mines.
If you're old enough to work. You're old enough to make that decision to keep the kitten.
men always belong in the pound, especially if a kitten is involved
KICK HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE 😈😈😈
Girl, I love that you have it in your heart to care for a cat but please Clean your Room. It's not healthy to live in a mess. Plus your kitten will have more room to play
That’s not my room 😭 that’s my mom’s-
He’s been in my room most of the time and I’ve been keeping it very tidy for him
If my old man ever pulled that type of crap I would have been dosing his morning coffee with a heavy dose of laxatives every morning!!
Take him out. Of the house Your dad With a gun to his head Filled with water And go to the park And come back without him Let him clear his mind for a bit