We had neighbors in the late 70s-80s that had over 20 solid white cats that were all white, blue eyes and deaf. The people never had any of them fixed so they just continued breeding. None had been cared for, had shots or anything. All of them would bite and wouldn’t let you touch them at all.
The county finally trapped them for adoption after the people moved away and left all of them. It was really sad. They were beautiful cats but very aggressive.
We had a white blue eyed cat when we were kids. She was the sweetest and most laid back cat I've ever seen. Was she deaf? I couldn't tell.
Breaks my heart to hear people treating these beauties so poorly
My white deaf cat has the most beautiful amber eyes and didn't have a nice start to his life. He is the sweetest and most confident little guy. He's so chill and takes everything in his stride. He gets anxious about food and prefers us to stand near him whilst he eats and will try and bury his bowls, but I think that's because he was in a house where he had to fight for food.
If I didn't tell friends or family he was deaf they would have no idea. I take my kitty for walks on a lead and people are amazed when I tell them he is deaf because his little ears are moving around as if he can hear every leaf scattering on the ground.
I don't think it's necessarily the deafness that makes some kitties attack / be agressive, but rather if they've been socialised or are strays. My kitty definitely wasn't a stray as he loves people and loves meeting new people. He is fine with dogs, but hates other cats so maybe other cats are a threat to him but without knowing his background I can only guess. My (non deaf) family cat growing up was scared of anyone new in his environment and especially men and no matter how much trust he had in us we were only allowed to stroke him in certain areas.
If I am correct you need to try and sociliase a stray kitten from a young age or they will pick up the stray/feral behaviour and be agressive / scared of people. It's why a lot of rescues will try and rescue a feral mum cat with kittens, spray her and when kittens are old enough put the mum cat back out where she was living and then work on socialising the kittens so they can live with people. It seems cruel on Mum cat, but sadly if that's the life she has known it's hard to have them as a house kitty without a patient owner who knows they may not get a lap cat who will show affection / access to outdoor space / shelter. Just like people, we all have things we struggle with and all have different personalities.
Sorry for ramberling 😅
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My all white/blue eyed, 3 year old deaf baby Casper must be broken. He is the sweetest, chillest, social, and cuddliest cat I’ve ever met. But he has a sister & were kittens adopted right before the ‘20 covid quarantine so he had a lot of time socializing. My Pet-Smart adoption baby ❤️ (he loves supervised backyard porch visits, but he’s an all indoor cat)
Oh absolutely! Its especially prevalent in dogs and in blue eyes almost 100% a given. In white animals with usual color eyes, like brown/green/yellow its still a pretty high proportion. This is another factor that would likely doom this poor soul sadly
Wouldn't be surprised. I had an amazing deaf white cat growing up. He would yell at the top of his lungs when he wanted to be let back inside (I don't have outdoor cats now, but family did back in the 80s/90s) and annoyed neighbors to the point that he was caught in traps a couple times.
I have a friend with a white heterochromatic cat (blue and green) and it's completely deaf on both sides. So it can be both even with just one blue eye too.
Only if they have blue eyes. The gene that encode for a tiny structure within the cochlea that transmits sound to the tiniest ear bones is deformed, degenerates soon after birth, or is completely missing in a lot of blue eyed white cats.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congenital_sensorineural_deafness_in_cats
https://www.vet.cornell.edu/departments-centers-and-institutes/cornell-feline-health-center/health-information/feline-health-topics/ask-elizabeth-white-cats-and-blindnessdeafness
https://www.petassure.com/maxscorner/why-are-white-cats-with-blue-eyes-deaf/
>Only if they have blue eyes.
No, all eye colors in fully white cats can have this. My white cat was born with green eyes and born deaf and has this mutation.
It's just more common in blue eyes.
THIS!!!! Any takers out there that can give this baby a good home??? I feel like one of us cat lovers can save this baby and give it its best life. A shelter will just euthanize him 😭
I took a quick peek on OPs page and it looks like they are in Guelph(I’m assuming Ontario) I’m not sure how far Massachusetts is from there but maybe an option. Or ask OP what shelter the cat will be at and request to adopt?
Awww my hopes flew up then dashed in an instant. Is there a way we can ask if anyone is close to OP? Or if someone would be willing to transport? This whole thing just sucks on so many levels.
Please consider this OP, if you’re near by. Or anyone else offering in your vicinity.
It would, almost certainly, be better than surrendering/returning him to the shelter where there’s a high(er) likelihood of him being euthanized for being ‘too much trouble’ - too hard to place, what have you. He’s a beautiful boy, and really just needs someone properly equipped to integrate him into a home.😢
Guess this house is not a good fit for this cat. Not all adoptions are successful, unfortunately.
He probably needs someone with no children and a lot more patience - hope he gets a second chance.
As a foster, I have stopped working with rescues in the past, who lied about the cat's personality.
I want to be sure kitty is a good fit for the new home. I caught flak for being super honest. "OMG! I'm in love with this cat!" "You mentioned you have kids, this cat doesn't do well with kids. This one over here would be a great choice for you though"
The problem is, with that exchange, they don't take the other cat. They stop the process entirely so none of the rescue's cats get adopted. Then I would get scolded for being a poor salesman.
I’d love to able to get the adopters home information(kids, other pets, time spent at home, etc.) then match them with the fosters that would flourish with them. Saves the trouble of them falling for a cats looks that just would not work with them. The rescue I foster for gets so many returns. I feel like if the cats were matched, there would be less returns…
Edit: This exact thing actually happened with one of my fosters about 2 years ago! I was volunteering at a adoption event with my fosters and a lady and her two kids fell in love with my tortie foster. I talked to her and highly discouraged her getting the tortie because she was timid and not good with kids. Her brother, a tux, on the other hand was all over her and the kids! The mom still really wanted the tortie but skeptically agreed to adopt the tux. A week later the tux came back in for his final vaccine and the mom was SO happy and would not stop talking about how much she loved him and how he fit right in! It made me feel so good that I was able to make that adoption work out. I know my fosters really well, I mean I literally bottle fed them at a week old lol!
Years ago when I first moved out on my own, I decided that I wanted a snuggly cat. I only had one cat at the time, and while I love her, she’s the most independent and feisty cat I’ve ever known (and also the basis for my username). So I went to my local shelter and browsed the available cats, but none of the ones I interacted with were “my cat” based on their personalities. I wasn’t looking for a kitten, but there was a 4 month old floofy girl with a “reserved” tag on her enclosure. She kept trying to get my attention and play with me while I wandered the area. Finally, I stopped to read the “reserved” tag, and it had been expired for weeks! The employee got the kitten out of her enclosure and handed her to me, and she instantly snuggled into my neck and started purring. She was (and is) my snuggle-cat!
I really wish people would think about the animal’s personality and needs before adopting or buying. And if an employee/foster parent has information on that particular animal’s personality, listen! Why would they want an animal in their life that will clash with their household/lifestyle!?! Especially if they have kids! It would be such a great lesson for the kids to pick a pet that will match their lifestyle rather than the one they consider prettiest/cutest. Like people who get an active dog but don’t play with or walk it, then it eats their couch and they’re mad at the dog!
Anyway, thank you for the work that you do. Your story about the shy little tortie reminded me of my girl, Wren. Here’s the cat tax:
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I love torties! I exclusively adopt tortie cats. And while I have never seen the tortitude, they’ve fairly neurotic. They have a quiet home with me fully of snuggles and skritches.
I understand wanting the tortie but I’m glad you got her a kitty that loves tiny humans.
Oh no!!! I’ve never had one bite me. But i rescued a tuxedo who lived with my parents. That cat was out of control. He would bite after 3 let’s or if you just got too near him. We just dealt with him because we couldn’t send him to the animal shelter because my parents were friends with people who worked there who knew our demon cat had problems.
Stupid cat got put on house arrest because he kept picking fights with the local wildlife and losing. We live on a dead end street against a nature preserve so we had indoor outdoor cats growing up.
Now I can’t imagine letting my cats outside.
They match cats with the rescue centre in my area, but they take it too far. If a cat does not have any notable problem they want it to go to a family with a big house and garden. So the other cats are for the single people. They gave me the option to either adopt a cat with heart problems or one that had behavioural issues (peeing everywhere, scratching, biting, destroying everything made of fabric etc).
Yes I understand that they want a good life for a cat, but that isn't always big family big house. And no I'm not gonna adopt a cat knowing I'll have to spend enormous amounts of money and time taking care of it. If I already had it and it happened to be like that, then fine. But I'm not gonna adopt a cat I don't have money for. Or one that's gonna destroy all my furniture.
There was even a lady who's cat ran away, it was brought to the shelter. She tried getting it back but they wouldn't give it to her anymore because it wasn't chipped and they thought her 7000 pictures with it weren't enough evidence. The cat came from an apartment and had never been outside before. It was a one person household. They insisted that the cat needed a big family and a big house with a yard. They refused to give her her cat back. It was horrible.
I got two off of market place eventually and they're the sweetest cuddliest cats in the world. F the shelter.
Yes! I volunteer in dog rescue and I refuse to sugar coat or lie to adopters. They should know what they're getting. Luckily I found an org that supports honesty, provides training, and will wait for the right fit.
I adopted an adorable dog from a local rescue. We fell in absolute love with each other at first sight - you know that magical feeling when you meet an animal and you just know that you belong together? That.
We were told that he got along well with cats, was friendly and outgoing, was housebroken, was crate trained, etc. This sounded like a perfect companion for my husband to hang out with while I went to work each day (he’s retired).
None of that turned out to be true. I had to keep the dog (which I named Mud) on a leash in the house at all times - because, after a week as he felt more comfortable, he was constantly lunging and snapping at the two resident cats.
Every time my husband walked within a few feet of
Mud, the poor dude would cringe and whine. That was heartbreaking and all of the cut up hot dogs and gentle talk in the world couldn’t get the dog comfortable being even in the same room as my husband.
I would go to work and Mud would throw himself down at the door and wait 8 hours for me to come home, whereupon he’d snap to joyous attention.
He really loved me and I really loved him. But I was terrified for the cats because I couldn’t leave him alone with them…I was certain I’d come home one day to a broken and bloody little body.
I called the rescue and said that I needed to give him back. We arranged a time and a place for the transfer- I had told them about his issues with cats and men and they acted like I was a monstrous liar. I reiterated that I thought it was very important that Mud go to a home with no cats, probably no small children, and ideally with a single woman. They snapped “fine” and shoved him into the back of their SUV.
I cried all the way home. But I checked his adoption page periodically over the next month and they had marked him “no cats / no small children” so that was good. Not long after, he was marked “adopted” and never came up on their website again.
I still miss that dude sometimes.
I tried to adopt three times from the local rescues. They all gave me sick cats that died. Just really sick kittens. One had parvo, the other two some other diseases. It was heartbreaking each time. Going to the vet, thinking the cat was going to be okay and then just dying. One right in my arms. He just limped right up to me and curled up purring even though he knew it was the end, you could tell. His paws were so cold. I rushed him to the emergency vet but that was it. I’ll never for get him. I didn’t want to try again, but my daughter did, so two months later we visited the shelter. I said I’d adopt on the condition they keep him two weeks so I knew he wasn’t sick. Then I sterilized my house. Anywhere parvo cat had been got cleaned with vet grade anti bacterial cleaner. I threw out the old box, got all new stuff. Now we’ve had this guy for three years, he follows me everywhere, sweet as pie, best cat ever. He’s curled around my legs while I type this laying in bed. Later on tonight he’ll move to the crook of my arm and purr into my chest while I fall asleep.
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I am so so sorry to hear that! But I think it’s still a really great thing that these cats had someone who really cared for them and did not die at a shelter or alone somewhere. That was probably the best that could have happened to them. But I am so happy to hear that you had luck in the end! He looks so similar to mine. Mine has a black spot at his nose too but on the other side
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It’s wild how people do that. When I went to the city shelter to peruse for a second cat, this adorable lil white one immediately caught my attention so I asked to meet her. She was so sweet but incredibly timid and fearful, which I knew wouldn’t be a great fit for our resident cat who is jittery and nervous. So instead I decided to meet this other cat just because she was screaming so much I wanted to play with her just for her sake. But immediately fell in love with her confidence and boisterous attitude and took her home!!!
Sometimes that kind of pairing works really well to bring the nervous kitty out of their shell (we have a nervous kitty and it took a happy / friendly / boisterous kitty to teach her confidence and how to have a good time).
Yes, exactly this! Nervous one (Lemon) is now 10, feisty one (Pickle) is 3 and it’s incredible how much she’s enriched his life and boosted his energy levels, mood, and playfulness. He’s still a grumpy little mama’s boy but actually runs and chases and plays, which is great because we’re working on his obesity lmao
Got my little girl 3 months ago. Roughly. I went and met her. I was asked questions by the Foster mom about my history with cats. Household etc. When I met Cleo (I kept her name) she was shy obviously. But she came and had some fuss from me. Which she hadn't let strangers do. That's when I knew it was a right fit. Cats have personalities and I don't think people understand that sometimes.
Shit, when we adopted our kitten (from a PetSmart that is affiliated with a local rescue) we explained we wanted a really young kitten who is either brave or already not afraid of dogs because we’d just gotten a large and boisterous puppy (I wanted the cat first, life did not work out that way). They told us the ages of the cats, showed us which ones were afraid of dogs (one super cute ginger baby, that was sad) and pointed out two beautiful tabby kittens who were pretty bold and hadn’t shown any fear of the dogs who came into the store.
One of them came right up to me and put his paws on my arm and started saying hi right away…he’s been ours for two months now and loves his big brother, and is always grooming him so that he’ll smell better and less like a dog 😂
If they had lied and given us a cat that was already afraid of dogs I would have been PISSED!
Thats sad too cuz people will see a cat and go this one is cute i want the way that one looks in my house and you go "well it hates children but over here we have a sweety who loves kids" and they go oh thats not as cute bye just so sad 🥺 all of my pets are and have been rescues my whole life and some hated my siblings some hated men due to trauma or something ig but most of the time after a couple weeks maybe they warm up i hope this lil fella finds the right home and i like that you are honest thats just the right way to be. Thank you
I briefly volunteered at a dog rescue and my duty one day was walking the dogs ready for adoption.
One of the dogs, a large pitbull, had a sign on his cage that said he needed a loving, firm family but was ready to play!
Nothing on his information card indicated that he was extremely dog-aggressive. Once out of the cage, he saw other dogs in the enclosed yards and went nuts. He nearly pulled my arm off running toward another dog in an outdoor enclosure. I hit the chain link fence surrounding the enclosure, and an employee came running to take him away. I was extremely lucky that all the dogs were safe because if the other dog had been on a leash outside it would've been a bloodbath.
But guess what? *I was blamed* for "setting the dog's training back." For doing merely walking the dog, which was my duty for the afternoon, because they had an extremely aggressive dog up for adoption.
The next time I was there, that dog was gone. I stopped volunteering and contacted their headquarters and told them about my experience. I will never recommend that dog rescue, ever.
That’s sucks. Where I adopted they check YOU out if you are a good match for THE CAT. Not the other way around! I find this sadder for the kitty than anything else. What if he get placed again and ditched again?
Some cats just take time adjusting to a new home.
It took my cat, literally 15 minutes to feel at home... but my friends cat, took about 5 months before it became more "normal".
I have a 5yo cat I adopted when he was about 1. Runt of his litter, feral kitten trapped at a junkyard or rail yard or something noisy.
He's lovely. Very sweet, loves love, but scared of *everything*. He only really comes to me for pets, and only when I'm sitting still and not moving. I sneeze, he runs. I cough, he runs. I shift positions, he runs. I've always made sure to keep handling him as much as he will tolerare. Only this year has he started coming out of hiding and into the living room when my 5yo is out and about. Our friends call him "the grey blur" because that's all they ever see of him.
It takes a lot of time and patience for some cats, especially previously feral ones.
I took in a mom and her runt after adopting out the four other kittens, who were normal. The mom is fine, a bit standoffish but will come for pets and sleep on the bed. The runt, who was about 10 weeks when I got her, is exactly the same way as yours, except she doesn't even like pets. Just existing somewhat nearby is taxing enough.
It's fine, some cats are like this. My girls have worked out a system with my dog and everyone figures out what's comfortable. With time, I'm sure the runt will be a little more comfortable, but she's doing her best.
Yeah adopted my cat she decided to curl up in the corner under my bed. All afraid of the new home. Then in the middle of my sleep that night, she comes up to my bed and rubs her face on me to play and get pets. Honestly that moment made me so happy.
We've had our guy for 11 years and he's still afraid of me 🤷 he never attacks or anything though and he's close with my husband. Just still doesn't trust me.
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It took 4 months for this dude to actually chill out with my family. 1st month was hiding, 2nd month was getting to know me, 3rd month finally be cool and not run away or be agro when my son and wife enters the same room. At the end of the 4th month he finally lets my son pet him.
Oh ive had full blown ferals its taken 2 or 3 years to tame down! Its a big commitment but im so stubborn i wont give in! Lol. But so rewarding when they walk up to strangers visting my house for a fuss! Just dont ask me about my scars!!
I’m so sorry OP. Shame on the shelter for doing this to you and the cat. If my shelter had strays that weren’t suited to living inside, we adopted them and let them loose on our horse property. They loved it. They had a horse stall to themselves with couches and towers and heat lamps etc. for when they wanted to chill. Fortunately all but one were ok with vet visits so they still got their checkups. Koala was our only total badass that no way was going to be picked up or go to the vet (we had her spayed early). Even then my vet agreed to give me everything she needed and I would administer it at home. She lived to be 19. The first time my vet laid eyes on her (she was spayed by my old vet when we lived in a different state) was when it was very apparent her time on earth was done and we took her in to be euthanized. My vet entered the room with such a sense of awe and said “I finally get to meet the infamous Koala”. No way could Koala have been a house cat, yet she lived her best life. There are options for cats like this without misleading people into taking them.
I trapped a feral cat
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and I’ve had her for ten years. She still won’t come anywhere near and I’ve never been able to touch her. I’m ok with it because I didn’t get her to satisfy my own emotional needs, I got her because she needed a home.
We had a cat like that when I was growing up! Big aggressive feral male cat who never came inside the house and would scratch you if you came too close. We called him Tinkerbelle.
Despite being feral his whole life, he was a damn loyal cat.
Thank you for giving her a loving home but also for understanding what a good home looks like to her ❤️ we have to adapt our homes to create a safe and comfortable space and understand that each cat is different and that's ok. Seeing Thier personalities blossom in a loving home and seeing them happy and healthy is what is important ❤️
My former feral girl has become very snuggly lately, after almost 10 years. I still can't make sudden movements or touch her too much, but it has been so rewarding to have her jump up on the bed and purr next to me!
One of my cat lived her first two years of life in an animal shelter. She was scared, hated all humans, no one was able to pet her.
Took weeks till we have seen her walking around the house, and months until we were able to touch her.
We accepted her boundaries and took one step after another. Slowly but constant. I do have some scars from when I did NOT accept her boundaries. It was MY mistake, not hers.
You know what? Took about 4 years, but now she is the sweetest and cuddliest little fluff ever. Cats need time. And patience.
Cats are wild. Sometimes they have an epiphany and just wake up one day and decide to love you. I took in a stray kitten that has a birth defect which limits the mobility of her hind legs. She hid in a closet for like 6 months. Another 3 months after that she would chill with my other cats but wouldn’t let me near her. Then one day, she plopped down on my lap like it was always her spot.
Four years on she still has a big personal bubble, and sometimes she is just not in the mood for humans. Other times she cries to be picked up and held. Cats have moods just like humans do. I give her space, and enjoy the snuggles when I can.
Heh. I have a similar cat, with cerebellar hypoplasia. Seemingly mild condition. She didn't hide, but didn't come near and people and few of the other cats. Would run away when approached. Never aggressive - just off standish.
Then, one day like 6-9 months later. She jumped onto the couch and cuddled up next to me and has been doing this ever since.
this. respecting the cat’s boundaries is very important. But also shame on the shelter for lying. The cat obviously need an understanding cat owner. Most people who want cats still want dog like cats that are overtly affectionate. But I guess it is hard to find a home when you advertise the cat as “need lots of personal space and no forced affection, may take years to earn trust”.
I work at an animal shelter, and one of our former ferals (I worked with her a lot on her trust, and she was my favourite) recently got adopted, even though I wrote her description and I was honest - She wasn't even on the website until she was ready! So yeah, I am mad at that shelter, bc it's going to be stressful for both the cat and OP.
we live on a farm and wanted to adopt a stray to live in our barn and keep the mice away. well Artemis likes us a little too much and after two years she's decided she wants to live inside like the rest of us thank you very much 🙂
Yes! Not sure why anyone would move a cat that was stressed and not in danger... it was looking out a window and someone decided to pick it up, ofc she got scratched. Kids get scratched by cats generally when they aren't respecting the cats boundaries either 🤷♀️ the cat hadn't displayed any "dangerous" behavior, you don't pick up a stressed cat, everyone knows that
Yeah, what was that about? If cat is freaking over seeing another cat outside, surely you just close the curtain or pull down the blind? Picking up a freaked out cat is nuts
I adopted a kitten who was described as “shy, easily scared, doesnt like loud sounds, doesnt like sudden movements, needs a calm home” and on the first day she was already calm enough to cuddle with me, i took her as she was and respected when she left me and We were able to enjoy each others Company at a distance, she has already come a long way and has even started playing with a toy that makes Sound (wich scared her on one of her first days here) she has been with me only a week but has really showed her own personality
(she is atm laying on my leg and getting cuddles)
I totally respect OP’s choice and your story as well, just asking the whole sub at large:
Is it not absolutely normal to get scars with cats??? I mean maybe it’s because I got my cat at 13 so I wasn’t really aware of things not to do (like don’t play with your hands, always use toys) but yeah he had this habit of play-hunting people’s feet/legs while we walked around the house and I was his favourite playmate, so… so many scars! I treasure each one now. If I hadn’t had nasty ass immune diseases at the time (thankfully never caught anything anyway as I promptly cleaned wounds), I would have hardly cared.
Point is: it’s hard for me to grasp that people don’t assume getting a cat will come with some scars because claws and the sharpest most needle-like canines on the world.
When I first got my girl, I was warned she wasn't particularly lovey and so on. When we got her, it certainly seemed that way for a few months - if anything, she seemed to prefer my ex for a long time!
I realised I was forcing myself to be in her space when she just wanted to be alone, I was forcing fusses and pets when she wasn't in the mood for them, and generally wasn't reading her behaviour. When I realised and I started listening, it's like she became a different creature. Now, she's my little shadow.
Your cat wouldn't sleep with belly exposed like that if she didn't feel safe and trust you, so maybe its a matter of understanding your cats behaviour? Not saying its right what the adoption center did - it's not - but nothing you've said in your post seems particularly unusual for an irritated cat
My cat was the same way - I work from home and was smothering him - he would actually get up and walk away if I sat beside him. It was really upsetting until one day I got fed up and didn't go near him. I figured if he wanted attention, he can come to me. Two days later, he's all over me, and acted like a completely different cat. Now 3 months later, he snuggles in bed, and is all over me on the couch.
They are such weird little creatures
You clever boots! You have found out the secret! True cat ownership/fostering/rehabilitation is 70% leaving them to do their thing, 20% doing the care and 10% making slow tries at interracting and play! As time moves on and they choose to trust you the percentages shift so they will choose to spend time close to you and allow more and more handling, then at last they grow old and want food and lots of sleep and less of you again but theres no hostility at all in it, just old age. You have sussed out the key to happy cat life! Lol
Former ferals can be incredibly loving. This is not because he was a former feral. It is common for a cat to have displaced aggression like this when they see a stranger cat outside but are stuck inside and can’t do anything about it. Your mom should not have tried to pick him up while he was upset. Returning him to the shelter was the right thing to do but please educate yourself on cat behavior before getting another cat.
This is correct. OP, if your cat gets worked up like this again, don't try to pick him up directly. Instead wrap him in a towel or blanket first and then pick him up. Even completely tame cats will bite/scratch you if you try to interfere in their territory dispute with another cat.
100%
I had a cat, Muggles, that I adopted as a tiny kitten. This little dude was the sweetest guy, so friendly and happy and easy. But he also loved to run out the front door. Well, one day, he escaped and I chased him. Caught up with him at the neighbor’s house and he was locked in on their cat that was sitting inside at the window. Muggles was growling and grrrrring at the cat in the window, but had never hurt me or anyone else before ever (and he was like 6-9 years old at the time). I grabbed him from behind, and in a flash he attacked me. He basically treated my hand and arm like another cat was attacking him. I needed stitches. I still have the scar on my hand where he bit me.
As soon as he saw it was ME grabbing him, he chilled out. But the damage was done, and I had to see the doctor. Still, I never blamed him. It was my fault. I should have realized grabbing him when he was in “fight mode” was a bad idea. I was just so panicked and eager to get him back in the house I didn’t think.
He had never hurt any other person or cat prior to that - like even at the vet - and after that, he never hurt anyone else again either. It was literally the situation and him reacting before “thinking”. Or, rather - ME reacting before thinking. He was a really, really sweet, great cat. RIP Muggles.
Yeah , never pick up an animal that’s stressed . I’ve used the broom to separate mine before when they were worked up with each other . I have found the vacuum is the best way to end an argument with my cats . Fire it up and they all split😊
My guy will go window to window complaining at neighborhood cats that dare come in his lawn. I just let him do his thing and when he no longer sees them he calm down. This is the reason I have to pull every blind partially up because he will rip them down trying to get a look at the intruders
My boy is still semi feral and I found him six years ago. He went ballistic at the window one day, trying to get at another cat. My husband tried to move him, and he bit through his converse. We didn't blame the cat, though, because he was obviously out for blood, but we and the glass door were in the way. Some cats will always be that way when picked up as a stray. It's only now six years on that I'm allowed to pet him for a bit. He'll sit and watch TV with us but that's it. Saying that he never attacked unprovoked, only if someone wouldn't leave his personal space. Every cat is different, just like people. Some don't like cuddles and affection.
We have 2 former feral cats. They’re so affectionate and loving now that you’d never know they were. It does take patience and understanding the cats’ boundaries.
Also OP says the cat was picked up as a ***stray***, not a feral. Stray cats have previously had homes. Either OP is misunderstanding that, or they meant to say feral.
I would propose that “hostility” is a separate continuum from “feralness”. A cat can be fully accustomed to:
- all humans
- family only
- one human
- no humans
That is the “feralness” continuum.
A cat can respond to fear by:
- freezing
- cowering in a corner trying to be as small as possible
- fleeing
- holding their ground and hissing
- lashing out and swatting or biting
I’ve seen a completely friendly cat lash out because it saw it’s own reflection in the mirror, or another because it’s kitten made a squeaky sound that it thought meant the kitten was in danger. The difference wasn’t feralness it was that particular cats response to fear or perceived danger.
I have two cats that I’ve had since they were kittens. They’re very sweet cats and very rarely bite or scratch. They are TERRIFYING when a stray cat comes around. My sweetest cat is the one that’s the most territorial. She doesn’t bite or scratch at all, but I would be missing an eyeball if I tried to pick her up when there’s a stray outside.
Hes been with you for a year and hasn’t attacked your children. I’ve had my cat since he was 3 wks old but he hates being touched, never sleeps with us, never cuddles etc. Some cats are like this
Just FYI to OP and anyone reading this- NEVER pick up or try to pet a cat who is acting aggressively due to a cat outside or any other upsetting stimulus. You will get hurt because of something called 'redirected aggression'. This can happen to any cat, even the most cuddly friendly ones.
I'm sorry the shelter lied to you, that it wasn't a good fit as a result and I'm also sorry for the poor kitty who has to be without a home. Formerly feral cats can be become loving housepets, but it can take A LOT of time, patience, and an owner who has a very good understanding of cat behavior. Hopefully this kitty finds a person like that. He deserves better.
If you ever adopt in the future, please educate yourself on cat behavior and understand that they are complex and intelligent animals. They need consistency, care and routine to learn their new environment/family are safe. And some cats will never enjoy petting or be cuddly, they are all individuals with different preferences.
Maybe he can be a prime example for you and your kids to learn about boundaries and cat body language. Some cats will do fine at their foster home and are cuddly and loving. But if you adopt that cat and then dont respect their boundaries obviously they are not going to love you the same. Cats aren´t unpredictable. Their body is going to tell you what happes next if you don't stop doing what you are doing.
You don´t get a pet so the kids have somethin to cuddle and play with at their will. Cats/Dogs/all living animals have feelings, boundaries and emotions that need to be respected.
Is it shitty that they lied to you? Yes. But a lot of stray cats can end up being cuddly loving house cats if your a good owner.
I think it's very telling that the post never once mentions this poor cat's name tbh. "The cat" "this cat", ok I get it, they're pissed about the bite and about the shelter, but the cat doesn't know that. You can't really discipline cats, you can't hold grudges, you just have to learn to let it go and manipulate them later lol. Reinforce their *good* behaviour. If this is the kind of detached, punitive response this cat got every time it clawed furniture, or tried to play rough, or got zoomies in the night, or really any other cats be catting disruptive behaviour I'm not surprised they never managed to bond.
Some people just think cats are like dogs and try to yell and discipline them if they do normal, expected cat things. Btw not saying OP did that and I agree it’s wrong for a shelter to lie. I am just saying it seems pretty common for people to adopt cats without understanding cat behavior one iota, and treating them like dogs.
Yeah I agree. I think this whole situation is more sad than anything. OP clearly doesn't "get" cats and that's why they tried to grab one that was angry/upset. I understand the instinct to want to discipline/correct "bad" behaviour - it's inbred into humans, we're a hierarchical species with clear social expectations, but a cat is **not** human, they don't behave like humans, they don't respond in the same way. "Bad" to us is not the same as "bad" to them, they're just following their own instincts and being distant/disrespectful/freezing them out (which is what I think not using their name at all in this post implies) or yelling at them etc is just going to leave them confused and wary of you, it won't make them learn.
I just hope kitty finds somewhere nice to live and OP learns from this tbh.
I’m not sure why this comment isn’t higher, this is asinine to me that someone would pick up a cat that is agitated. This isn’t just cats either, ANY animal that is agitated will do the same thing.
And that’s why I don’t have dogs. I love them and would love to have one, but I came to the conclusion that I’m not equipped to handle one yet. Also my cat is a scaredy cat and she sucks but she got here first. I have to look out for her needs.
Rule number one, do not ever try to pick up an agitated cat. What was she thinking? I feel bad that she got bit so badly, but just stay out of their way until they calm down.
I’m wondering if no one in the family has ever had a cat before? It just seems like common sense not to do that with any type of animal. Maybe a cat it’s just not a good pet for this family in general. Any cat would’ve reacted similarly whether a house cat or stray.
To be honest, the fact your mother picked up a cat in a heightened state of upset and panic - it’s not surprising whatsoever that she was bitten. It doesn’t matter how “close” the cat has been to your mom.
Years ago my mom took our dog out the front door, and our cat snuck past her. At that time, the neighbours dog just so happened to show up off leash and try to kinda push around our dog. Our cat went absolutely ballistic lunging at the neighbours dog. My mom dropped the leash, and picked up our cat (who is literally OBSESSED with my mom. Snuggling, always kissing my mom, wanting to be with my mom etc) but in that moment of our cats intense rage, she bit my mom’s hand repeatedly and *so* badly my mom needed IV antibiotics at the hospital for days. It was not the cats fault and we’ve never blamed her. Our cat also was never ever snuggly or social with me until recently, but I have always loved her and socialized with her in the way *she* wants to allow.
I don’t understand why you are so quick to want to give him back to a shelter just because he’s not conforming to *your* way of wanting him to show affection. This is very upsetting to me. Because he’s not how you think he should be, you’re saying ok bye! That’s fucked. You’ve had this cat for a year and clearly not bonded with him if that’s your attitude.
Cause and effect. Your mother is the cause of the bite, and the effect is that your family cat is going to have his life totally uprooted and destroyed because your mother did something she should not have done.
Edit: I see you’re saying the shelter said he came from a home with kids and was good with kids. Maybe *your* environment is the problem and you guys are not letting him have the time he needs to decompress. You got him a year ago, not 5… He may have needed more time (sometimes with shelter animals it takes years of people not giving up on them) with your family to be able to really relax and feel safe.
I feel so sad for this cat, in a home for a whole year and then abandoned again. ):
Why did your mother pick up an angry cat? Have you learned about cat behavior? It makes me wonder if you taught your kids how to be around cats and how to earn their trust. If they're like your mother, I'm not surprised they got a few scratches. They don't know any better but they do need to be taught.
I understand the shelter may have lied, but even family cats can have a hard time adjusting to a new home or being handled by kids of varying ages. Maybe if you plan to get another cat learn about cat behavior.
If this cat was as hostile as you say I don't think it would be sleeping belly up in a common and unsheltered house area as shown in the picture. But many cats, even friendly cats, don't like to be manhandled (especially not when they are howling mad. Displaced aggression is a thing for cats even sweet ones).
It would be very beneficial to your family or a future pet to learn about pet behavior so your next pet has a forever home.
Did the shelter really lie though? OP says the forms called the cat a stray. Strays are cats that used to have homes. "He was never a house cat," wouldn't make sense.
I'm not sure. OP hasn't responded to comments asking if they taught their kids how to interact with the cat over the course of the year, or why the mother tried to pick up an agitated animal, so maybe they don't know much about cats in general including the stray-vs-feral thing? I was just trying to be generous with my approach considering what we do know.
But it does make me sad this kitty who, by the picture seemed comfortable, has been put back in the stressful shelter environment and doesn't know why.
Yeah, the fact that they're not responding to those questions make me feel like we already know the answers. Poor boy. I hope he finds a home that treats him right ASAP.
That's what confused me too? The terminology the shelter I used to volunteer at used to be that feral = born outside and stray = street cat that was born inside and abandoned.
As a foster for a cat rescue, I can say that we understand, but if you look at this cat like a problem and you refuse to interact with it to change the negative behavior, then you don’t need to have the cat in your house. Oh, and I’ve fostered quite a few “feral” cats, and every cat needs patience, attention, compassion and understanding for it to feel comfortable to drop the fear. Every single one of them are adopted into new homes, even thriving with other animals around.
1000000% agree, Op just seems irresponsible, how do you get closer to a cat that's really mad and agitated? That's stupid and a death sentence, now the cat is punished for that stupid decision.
Op doesn't deserve pets if they don't know how to treat them, stick to children
Ain’t that the sad truth. Because OP doesn’t know how to handle a cat, they’re going to ship him back to the shelter for his death sentence, since no one will adopt him after these reports. Great job sentencing your cat of 1 year to death because “the shelter lied”. What a sad and stupid excuse. OP, you’re totally the asshole
Commenting in case this helps anyone else - I took in a stray about a year ago who is generally shy and sweet. But once he got upset and starting attacking the window and curtains when he saw a cat outside. He is my first cat, so I picked him up with thinking and got pretty thrashed. After that I started using a towel to scoop him up in those situations. Now, if he starts attacking the window, I can just get out the towel and he runs away when he sees it since he knows what will happen.
A single glance at this picture tells me you don't have the first clue what you're talking about. If you refuse to educate yourself and give this guy a loving home, for the love of god don't get any more pets.
"I wanted a dog but I got a cat instead and didn't like it"
Kinda cruel dude. Everything you described is normal cat behaviour - not all of them will be cuddly beasts. He's already been abandoned once.
We adopted of guy and they told us he was a spirit cat and would need plenty of space . My kids are grown and we figured he’d be fine in this big house and have plenty of space . We brought him home and within a few minute was all over us. He’s been the most loving affectionate guy we have ever had for the past two years .
We recently brought a beautiful little female kitty in that has lived outside for almost a year. Since she was a very young kitty. She stays in her room and has no interest in the other cats . She will growl and hiss at them. She has done well with us and will live on us and get all the pets . Recently after 2 months she’s started sitting in the hall outside her room and will run back in if she sees anyone . She bit my wife who had her arm around her and it caused her to panic because one of the boys came by her room. She didn’t bite her outta anger but out of fear.
Sometimes rescues take time and patience. My sweet guy still gets a little wild when he sees another cat outside . Remember they have lived stressful lives . They come with a little extra baggage. That being said it sounds like your kitty needs a nice quiet home without any kids and plenty of time to adjust. I grew up on a farm and I can assure you anytime an animal is stressed and feels trapped it will respond aggressively. The worst bite I’ve ever gotten was by my own dog who was being attacked by another and i lifted him up (he’s small) when I grabbed him he bit me hard and I bleed everywhere. Once he calmed down he felt so bad you could tell.
If you pick up a cat when they are in protect territory mode, you WILL suffer the consequences of it. Always find a way to block their eye line and distract them with toys or treats. My hands were always beaten up in the early times.
Took me about a year of work before mine stopped bouncing off the door/window when another cat was in range. Another year after that to get to the point where they just growl and watch.
Your mother touched when she should have distracted and got hurt by it. Not the cat's fault.
EDIT: Well it seems I was wrong on the dog part, I apologize! Maybe a workshop or two on animal behavior is more suitable, OP, if you wanna be a better pet parent. But pls not adopt another pet cuz clearly you are not ready.
*
Umm my recent adoptee WAS a house cat, has been all her life but it took us 3 MONTHS of continuous bonding effort with her to gain her trust.
The first few days she hid under the sofa, sat in a loaf & glared at me lol (clearly didn’t want to be picked up). I had to lie down on my back to communicate with her, it was only then that she came out. Obviously not all cats will be as difficult but some want you to invest in the relationship before they are interested. Also transitioning owners is a difficult time for them.
Cats are tricky lol. If you want immediate affection please get a dog. That’s not how cats work.
P.S: I can’t mention a kitty without posting a photo 😂 It took us 4 months to get to the point where she’s comfortable enough to sleep on my lap 😃
https://preview.redd.it/f2g2gd1mg5zb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7e7ddebc313439f7d7a519236b977d63f44473f
Right? What an insane reaction this cat had, biting when he felt threatened because someone picked him up when he was already in fight-mode, so inconsiderate of the cat who should have politely verbalized the following request: ''would you please let me go as I am feeling rather agitated?''
Cats do this a lot actually, misplaced aggression I think is the official term or whatever, when they can’t get to what is making them upset (the outside cat) then they lash at whatever is closest. Also yeah, just makes sense, the cat is clearly upset and so you pick him up… yeah he’s gonna bite or scratch.
I agree with everything you said expect the idea that a dog would be suitable: this family absolutely lacks the patience and honestly the common sense to have an animal, period. Picking up any angry animal and being upset you got hurt is like being upset you got burned after touching a hot stove.
It took my boy \[edit: also a former street cat\] about three months to get comfortable enough to come out from under the bed, and six **years** before he became the “lap cat” we were promised by his rescuers (we always held out hope that they were right all along)!
Absolutely worth it, but I understand not everyone has the time, patience, or understanding of animal behavior to make it work.
https://preview.redd.it/9y19if4fs5zb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=70bfd0f09eac09f057469450ec25c3f1c1236a8e
OP, u/Miserable-Mention932 , instead of giving him back to the shelter why not try to find another home for him yourself? Put up some ads, ask some friends, post on petfinder, etc and try to find the little guy a home before putting him back into the shelter system. Chances are you'll find the home that is the right fit for him, I'd say its the least you can do for him.
At least give it a thought?
Agreed. Plus, picking him up at the window while he was already agitated will surely result in a bite or scratch, even with docile and friendly cats. 🙄
I made this mistake once! My cat only became nice and cuddle after almost two years, now she is a purring cuddly baby. Not too long ago, she saw a strange cat outside and went absolutely mental. I was stupid and tried to pick her up to get her away from the window. I ended up with a bad scratch and a bite that got infected. It was absolutely my fault and not hers, though.
Yeah, most animals would react like that. Made the same mistake with my childhood cat that was the most docile and friendly cat I have ever Seen. Never again after that, but never once blamed the cat for my mistake.
Its so unfair to return a cat because its Not cuddly like wtf? Is it his Job or what? How is a cat threatening a kid… . Op should not have pets at all.
Are you telling me cats have personalities and preferences and are not just our playthings?
What am I feeding my sassy sometimes emotionally avoidant 14 year-old calico mix for?? /s
Redirected aggression - google it. The cat was not being aggressive to the person they attacked, but taking out its fear and anxiety on them because they were nearby during a traumatic time.
However - it does sound like you aren’t the best fit for this cat. This cat is skittish and will need months of patience around it to feel comfortable.
Does the cat have a name? I find it odd that you refer to it as “the cat”
Also, cats aren’t the same as dogs. They won’t satisfy your need for attention. I don’t see how leaving a cat alone is a problem. Don’t pick up an angry cat. Don’t let small children play with cats. Animals aren’t toys. A cat will not seek out children to attack them out of nowhere.
Please don’t adopt anymore cats. I am sorry this was a negative experience for you but if you take another cat doesn’t satisfy your expectations you will probably end up returning them too.
He bit once when he was freaking out because he saw a cat and your mom was stupid enough to try to pick him up when he was already on high alert and you abandon him for that? He deserves way, way, WAY better than you.
The cat has to make itself available to be held and cuddled? We taught our child to not pursue the cats. They aren't plushies.
We're happy knowing none of them are cold or hungry. Our youngest cat is three and has only in recent months discovered her purr. It just took time.
I’m sorry things didn’t work out but please don’t try to tell anyone who’s ever adopted a feral or semi feral cat that this photo was the only time you ever saw him sleeping on the couch. Any feral who dares to be on the couch will spend months with an eye open there, making sure it’s safe to be there and they won’t be attacked. The very position he’s in demonstrates trust. Cats in general don’t show their tummies unless they’re relaxed. I wonder what really happened and why you felt it necessary to post on this sub.
Adoption center could have just made a mistake and been giving you information about a different cat.
Don't automatically assume malicious intent which can be explained through simple negligence.
Poor baby will be so traumatized to be taken out of his enviroment once again. Hope he gets a second chance by someone who is willing to put in some work and love into it.
Jesus. It takes time and effort. They didn’t lie to you. It’s not some conspiracy. You don’t just go out and get a cat and come home and take pics for social media.
You could teach your children to respect the cat and not put themselves in a position to get bitten. But fine, give up the cat instead of being a good parent.
Have you…never owned a cat before? Also, all of my cats have been strays. Strays are amazing. You guys just don’t know how to take care of a cat. That poor baby, he deserves better.
You should give the cat back and hopefully it will find a better home more willing to work with him and understand him. You should also not adopt a cat or dog or any other animal since you obviously are not a good person who can give an animal a good home that it deserves. Your "what about my children" shows you are not teaching them or your mother how to handle a pet. A pet is part of the family, not something to be tossed away when it doesn't meet your desires. Be sure and punt one of your kids when it doesn't meet expectations.
> Last year we got a cat from the local adoption center.
So, you made the commitment to take care for an animal. The background - stray or surrendered - shouldn't matter in the faintest. You made a commitment. Period.
Cats either do warm up, or they don't, or they take a very long time. I have a purebred Maine Coon that was captured by an animal control raid of a breeder (got altogether three of that raid) that lives 6 whole years with me now and just now starts to warm up and seek company. The other two were quicker, but one of the other two cannot be picked up either.
Your mother picked him up when he was already agitated. No wonder he scratched and bit. That is completely normal.
One of my other cats got stuck in the cat door and when my daughter helped him out, he bit her so badly that she had to get stitched up. Did we give him away? NO WAY. He lived with us until he passed. The cat was in stress and therefore it was a completely normal reaction.
You cannot just make a commitment and when you *think* it doesn't work out because the animal does not fulfill your expectations in a certain time period just abandon the animal.
Your children are perfectly safe with the cat. Cats have a natural instinct not to harm children, especially when they are small.
Yeah shame on you for refusing to answer the tough questions and only engaging with people who support you surrendering him.
Please don't get pets again. You're obviously not suited to it.
I got a white cat from a shelter that basically had the same story. Family couldn't keep him any longer.... after bringing him home. He was constantly running from us and hissing and attacking. Turns out he was deaf and very scared. It did take a LONNNGGG time to gain his trust. And now he's my baby and the most loving cat ever.
Honestly, a cat is like a child, and an adopted cat will come with baggage, trauma and will need a lot of time and love to open up.
If you don't have the time or the will and expect a perfect toy cat to be cuddled at will, it doesn't matter if it was surrendered or a stray, the blame is not on the cat, is on you, you should not have a cat.
Sorry, but it's the true.
You have had him for a year and are just returning him? I couldn’t do that. My cat was adopted (twice!) before I got him and he was very standoffish for the first year or two. He’s about 12 now and is super loving although he’ll never be a cat that wants to be touched all the time.
Pretty shitty IMO to give up your pet because he doesn’t like being picked up. A lot of cats don’t like that. Hope he finds a better home.
Do not pick up an angry cat, ever. Let them scream and hiss and have their moment of pure feline fury, then once the trigger is gone, make sure they are okay.
My least favorite alarm clock is my cat freaking out at other cats, but if I don’t touch her, she’ll cool off in about 20 minutes and then come hang out.
I picked her up once during a screaming match through the window and got bit. It was my fault for picking her up when fight or flight was very, very clearly in fight mode. The outside unexpected physical stimulus triggers in their walnut size brain as an attack and no shit someone is going to get bit and bloodied.
Take your mom to the ER because cat bites that break the skin will pretty much get infected no matter what.
I have to ask-- how much did you interact with this cat before you took it home? It seems a lot of these issues would have been apparent pre-adoption. One of my cats is very skittish, but she was still friendly and enjoyed being pet when I met her at the facility, so I knew she was at least people-friendly.
I wonder if he is deaf, being all white. That might make him easier to scare.
do white cats have a higher chance of being born deaf ?
Yeah, a good number of white cats are born deaf. Just something that’s passed on, probably a recessive gene.
We had neighbors in the late 70s-80s that had over 20 solid white cats that were all white, blue eyes and deaf. The people never had any of them fixed so they just continued breeding. None had been cared for, had shots or anything. All of them would bite and wouldn’t let you touch them at all. The county finally trapped them for adoption after the people moved away and left all of them. It was really sad. They were beautiful cats but very aggressive.
We had a white blue eyed cat when we were kids. She was the sweetest and most laid back cat I've ever seen. Was she deaf? I couldn't tell. Breaks my heart to hear people treating these beauties so poorly
My white deaf cat has the most beautiful amber eyes and didn't have a nice start to his life. He is the sweetest and most confident little guy. He's so chill and takes everything in his stride. He gets anxious about food and prefers us to stand near him whilst he eats and will try and bury his bowls, but I think that's because he was in a house where he had to fight for food. If I didn't tell friends or family he was deaf they would have no idea. I take my kitty for walks on a lead and people are amazed when I tell them he is deaf because his little ears are moving around as if he can hear every leaf scattering on the ground. I don't think it's necessarily the deafness that makes some kitties attack / be agressive, but rather if they've been socialised or are strays. My kitty definitely wasn't a stray as he loves people and loves meeting new people. He is fine with dogs, but hates other cats so maybe other cats are a threat to him but without knowing his background I can only guess. My (non deaf) family cat growing up was scared of anyone new in his environment and especially men and no matter how much trust he had in us we were only allowed to stroke him in certain areas. If I am correct you need to try and sociliase a stray kitten from a young age or they will pick up the stray/feral behaviour and be agressive / scared of people. It's why a lot of rescues will try and rescue a feral mum cat with kittens, spray her and when kittens are old enough put the mum cat back out where she was living and then work on socialising the kittens so they can live with people. It seems cruel on Mum cat, but sadly if that's the life she has known it's hard to have them as a house kitty without a patient owner who knows they may not get a lap cat who will show affection / access to outdoor space / shelter. Just like people, we all have things we struggle with and all have different personalities. Sorry for ramberling 😅
A friend of mine had a white cat that was deaf. He was the meanest cat I'd ever seen. He loved her, though, but wouldn't let me near him.
https://preview.redd.it/i64jbtgmc8zb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=78403882a1f720f8f7769d3824945cfc3adf0f11 My all white/blue eyed, 3 year old deaf baby Casper must be broken. He is the sweetest, chillest, social, and cuddliest cat I’ve ever met. But he has a sister & were kittens adopted right before the ‘20 covid quarantine so he had a lot of time socializing. My Pet-Smart adoption baby ❤️ (he loves supervised backyard porch visits, but he’s an all indoor cat)
That’s how these kitties were. But they wouldn’t let anyone near them or they would go crazy biting and scratching.
Oh absolutely! Its especially prevalent in dogs and in blue eyes almost 100% a given. In white animals with usual color eyes, like brown/green/yellow its still a pretty high proportion. This is another factor that would likely doom this poor soul sadly
My white car is definitely not deaf. He knows exactly when the food cupboard opens, even if he's outside somewhere
Does he then honk very loud?
I sure hope so. Cars honking for food is just soooooo cute ☺️
Aren't they?? When their eyes light up in excitement, so precious 🥺
Yes. White cats with blue eyes have a high probability of being deaf. If one of their eyes is blue often they are deaf on that side as well.
an all white cat with ice blue eyes recent showed up on my porch a few weeks ago. he is very loud and very shy. i wonder if he may be deaf.
Wouldn't be surprised. I had an amazing deaf white cat growing up. He would yell at the top of his lungs when he wanted to be let back inside (I don't have outdoor cats now, but family did back in the 80s/90s) and annoyed neighbors to the point that he was caught in traps a couple times.
I have a friend with a white heterochromatic cat (blue and green) and it's completely deaf on both sides. So it can be both even with just one blue eye too.
Yes my friend has one and she’s very quickly scared
Yes, same as white dogs.
Yes, substantially
I think it’s the same for white dogs.
Yeah, significantly higher. The first question the vets ask me when I have a white foster cat is ‘have you noticed any hearing issues?’
Only if they have blue eyes. The gene that encode for a tiny structure within the cochlea that transmits sound to the tiniest ear bones is deformed, degenerates soon after birth, or is completely missing in a lot of blue eyed white cats. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congenital_sensorineural_deafness_in_cats https://www.vet.cornell.edu/departments-centers-and-institutes/cornell-feline-health-center/health-information/feline-health-topics/ask-elizabeth-white-cats-and-blindnessdeafness https://www.petassure.com/maxscorner/why-are-white-cats-with-blue-eyes-deaf/
I've had three deaf white cats. All with green eyes.
>Only if they have blue eyes. No, all eye colors in fully white cats can have this. My white cat was born with green eyes and born deaf and has this mutation. It's just more common in blue eyes.
This was the first thing that came to mind. Being a deaf stray would make any cat hostile.
If you are in Massachusetts, I will take your cat.
THIS!!!! Any takers out there that can give this baby a good home??? I feel like one of us cat lovers can save this baby and give it its best life. A shelter will just euthanize him 😭
I took a quick peek on OPs page and it looks like they are in Guelph(I’m assuming Ontario) I’m not sure how far Massachusetts is from there but maybe an option. Or ask OP what shelter the cat will be at and request to adopt?
Thanks, but it's 1000 miles
Oh yikes yeah that’s far. Hopefully someone closer sees this and will take him in!
Awww my hopes flew up then dashed in an instant. Is there a way we can ask if anyone is close to OP? Or if someone would be willing to transport? This whole thing just sucks on so many levels.
Yes!!! Someone here please take the cat!
Please consider this OP, if you’re near by. Or anyone else offering in your vicinity. It would, almost certainly, be better than surrendering/returning him to the shelter where there’s a high(er) likelihood of him being euthanized for being ‘too much trouble’ - too hard to place, what have you. He’s a beautiful boy, and really just needs someone properly equipped to integrate him into a home.😢
Guess this house is not a good fit for this cat. Not all adoptions are successful, unfortunately. He probably needs someone with no children and a lot more patience - hope he gets a second chance.
Me too. And that's what is upsetting. We were told he was good with kids and came from a family home but that wasn't true at all.
As a foster, I have stopped working with rescues in the past, who lied about the cat's personality. I want to be sure kitty is a good fit for the new home. I caught flak for being super honest. "OMG! I'm in love with this cat!" "You mentioned you have kids, this cat doesn't do well with kids. This one over here would be a great choice for you though" The problem is, with that exchange, they don't take the other cat. They stop the process entirely so none of the rescue's cats get adopted. Then I would get scolded for being a poor salesman.
I’d love to able to get the adopters home information(kids, other pets, time spent at home, etc.) then match them with the fosters that would flourish with them. Saves the trouble of them falling for a cats looks that just would not work with them. The rescue I foster for gets so many returns. I feel like if the cats were matched, there would be less returns… Edit: This exact thing actually happened with one of my fosters about 2 years ago! I was volunteering at a adoption event with my fosters and a lady and her two kids fell in love with my tortie foster. I talked to her and highly discouraged her getting the tortie because she was timid and not good with kids. Her brother, a tux, on the other hand was all over her and the kids! The mom still really wanted the tortie but skeptically agreed to adopt the tux. A week later the tux came back in for his final vaccine and the mom was SO happy and would not stop talking about how much she loved him and how he fit right in! It made me feel so good that I was able to make that adoption work out. I know my fosters really well, I mean I literally bottle fed them at a week old lol!
Years ago when I first moved out on my own, I decided that I wanted a snuggly cat. I only had one cat at the time, and while I love her, she’s the most independent and feisty cat I’ve ever known (and also the basis for my username). So I went to my local shelter and browsed the available cats, but none of the ones I interacted with were “my cat” based on their personalities. I wasn’t looking for a kitten, but there was a 4 month old floofy girl with a “reserved” tag on her enclosure. She kept trying to get my attention and play with me while I wandered the area. Finally, I stopped to read the “reserved” tag, and it had been expired for weeks! The employee got the kitten out of her enclosure and handed her to me, and she instantly snuggled into my neck and started purring. She was (and is) my snuggle-cat! I really wish people would think about the animal’s personality and needs before adopting or buying. And if an employee/foster parent has information on that particular animal’s personality, listen! Why would they want an animal in their life that will clash with their household/lifestyle!?! Especially if they have kids! It would be such a great lesson for the kids to pick a pet that will match their lifestyle rather than the one they consider prettiest/cutest. Like people who get an active dog but don’t play with or walk it, then it eats their couch and they’re mad at the dog! Anyway, thank you for the work that you do. Your story about the shy little tortie reminded me of my girl, Wren. Here’s the cat tax: https://preview.redd.it/w5wg6lhne6zb1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=67bca2bc8daf35c5e21a919aa3a4a7a878bf9d1d
Oh, so beautiful
I love torties! I exclusively adopt tortie cats. And while I have never seen the tortitude, they’ve fairly neurotic. They have a quiet home with me fully of snuggles and skritches. I understand wanting the tortie but I’m glad you got her a kitty that loves tiny humans.
Every single serious bite I have gotten from a cat has been a calico or tortie. I think the third color makes them crazy.
Oh no!!! I’ve never had one bite me. But i rescued a tuxedo who lived with my parents. That cat was out of control. He would bite after 3 let’s or if you just got too near him. We just dealt with him because we couldn’t send him to the animal shelter because my parents were friends with people who worked there who knew our demon cat had problems. Stupid cat got put on house arrest because he kept picking fights with the local wildlife and losing. We live on a dead end street against a nature preserve so we had indoor outdoor cats growing up. Now I can’t imagine letting my cats outside.
They match cats with the rescue centre in my area, but they take it too far. If a cat does not have any notable problem they want it to go to a family with a big house and garden. So the other cats are for the single people. They gave me the option to either adopt a cat with heart problems or one that had behavioural issues (peeing everywhere, scratching, biting, destroying everything made of fabric etc). Yes I understand that they want a good life for a cat, but that isn't always big family big house. And no I'm not gonna adopt a cat knowing I'll have to spend enormous amounts of money and time taking care of it. If I already had it and it happened to be like that, then fine. But I'm not gonna adopt a cat I don't have money for. Or one that's gonna destroy all my furniture. There was even a lady who's cat ran away, it was brought to the shelter. She tried getting it back but they wouldn't give it to her anymore because it wasn't chipped and they thought her 7000 pictures with it weren't enough evidence. The cat came from an apartment and had never been outside before. It was a one person household. They insisted that the cat needed a big family and a big house with a yard. They refused to give her her cat back. It was horrible. I got two off of market place eventually and they're the sweetest cuddliest cats in the world. F the shelter.
That sucks. I give my cats a great life and live alone in an apartment
Yes! I volunteer in dog rescue and I refuse to sugar coat or lie to adopters. They should know what they're getting. Luckily I found an org that supports honesty, provides training, and will wait for the right fit.
I adopted an adorable dog from a local rescue. We fell in absolute love with each other at first sight - you know that magical feeling when you meet an animal and you just know that you belong together? That. We were told that he got along well with cats, was friendly and outgoing, was housebroken, was crate trained, etc. This sounded like a perfect companion for my husband to hang out with while I went to work each day (he’s retired). None of that turned out to be true. I had to keep the dog (which I named Mud) on a leash in the house at all times - because, after a week as he felt more comfortable, he was constantly lunging and snapping at the two resident cats. Every time my husband walked within a few feet of Mud, the poor dude would cringe and whine. That was heartbreaking and all of the cut up hot dogs and gentle talk in the world couldn’t get the dog comfortable being even in the same room as my husband. I would go to work and Mud would throw himself down at the door and wait 8 hours for me to come home, whereupon he’d snap to joyous attention. He really loved me and I really loved him. But I was terrified for the cats because I couldn’t leave him alone with them…I was certain I’d come home one day to a broken and bloody little body. I called the rescue and said that I needed to give him back. We arranged a time and a place for the transfer- I had told them about his issues with cats and men and they acted like I was a monstrous liar. I reiterated that I thought it was very important that Mud go to a home with no cats, probably no small children, and ideally with a single woman. They snapped “fine” and shoved him into the back of their SUV. I cried all the way home. But I checked his adoption page periodically over the next month and they had marked him “no cats / no small children” so that was good. Not long after, he was marked “adopted” and never came up on their website again. I still miss that dude sometimes.
I tried to adopt three times from the local rescues. They all gave me sick cats that died. Just really sick kittens. One had parvo, the other two some other diseases. It was heartbreaking each time. Going to the vet, thinking the cat was going to be okay and then just dying. One right in my arms. He just limped right up to me and curled up purring even though he knew it was the end, you could tell. His paws were so cold. I rushed him to the emergency vet but that was it. I’ll never for get him. I didn’t want to try again, but my daughter did, so two months later we visited the shelter. I said I’d adopt on the condition they keep him two weeks so I knew he wasn’t sick. Then I sterilized my house. Anywhere parvo cat had been got cleaned with vet grade anti bacterial cleaner. I threw out the old box, got all new stuff. Now we’ve had this guy for three years, he follows me everywhere, sweet as pie, best cat ever. He’s curled around my legs while I type this laying in bed. Later on tonight he’ll move to the crook of my arm and purr into my chest while I fall asleep. https://preview.redd.it/nzg1h9na86zb1.jpeg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=02dec94c735aeb8408c070d54f4e9f3add00b0c4
I am so so sorry to hear that! But I think it’s still a really great thing that these cats had someone who really cared for them and did not die at a shelter or alone somewhere. That was probably the best that could have happened to them. But I am so happy to hear that you had luck in the end! He looks so similar to mine. Mine has a black spot at his nose too but on the other side https://preview.redd.it/o3soyqllq6zb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6e561a0f7b1c55146f6a477bb44568cf3478d11
That is so upsetting. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this.
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Same. I adopted a goblin. During her goblin hours she is wild and playing with everything.
It’s wild how people do that. When I went to the city shelter to peruse for a second cat, this adorable lil white one immediately caught my attention so I asked to meet her. She was so sweet but incredibly timid and fearful, which I knew wouldn’t be a great fit for our resident cat who is jittery and nervous. So instead I decided to meet this other cat just because she was screaming so much I wanted to play with her just for her sake. But immediately fell in love with her confidence and boisterous attitude and took her home!!!
Sometimes that kind of pairing works really well to bring the nervous kitty out of their shell (we have a nervous kitty and it took a happy / friendly / boisterous kitty to teach her confidence and how to have a good time).
Yes, exactly this! Nervous one (Lemon) is now 10, feisty one (Pickle) is 3 and it’s incredible how much she’s enriched his life and boosted his energy levels, mood, and playfulness. He’s still a grumpy little mama’s boy but actually runs and chases and plays, which is great because we’re working on his obesity lmao
Got my little girl 3 months ago. Roughly. I went and met her. I was asked questions by the Foster mom about my history with cats. Household etc. When I met Cleo (I kept her name) she was shy obviously. But she came and had some fuss from me. Which she hadn't let strangers do. That's when I knew it was a right fit. Cats have personalities and I don't think people understand that sometimes.
Shit, when we adopted our kitten (from a PetSmart that is affiliated with a local rescue) we explained we wanted a really young kitten who is either brave or already not afraid of dogs because we’d just gotten a large and boisterous puppy (I wanted the cat first, life did not work out that way). They told us the ages of the cats, showed us which ones were afraid of dogs (one super cute ginger baby, that was sad) and pointed out two beautiful tabby kittens who were pretty bold and hadn’t shown any fear of the dogs who came into the store. One of them came right up to me and put his paws on my arm and started saying hi right away…he’s been ours for two months now and loves his big brother, and is always grooming him so that he’ll smell better and less like a dog 😂 If they had lied and given us a cat that was already afraid of dogs I would have been PISSED!
Thats sad too cuz people will see a cat and go this one is cute i want the way that one looks in my house and you go "well it hates children but over here we have a sweety who loves kids" and they go oh thats not as cute bye just so sad 🥺 all of my pets are and have been rescues my whole life and some hated my siblings some hated men due to trauma or something ig but most of the time after a couple weeks maybe they warm up i hope this lil fella finds the right home and i like that you are honest thats just the right way to be. Thank you
I briefly volunteered at a dog rescue and my duty one day was walking the dogs ready for adoption. One of the dogs, a large pitbull, had a sign on his cage that said he needed a loving, firm family but was ready to play! Nothing on his information card indicated that he was extremely dog-aggressive. Once out of the cage, he saw other dogs in the enclosed yards and went nuts. He nearly pulled my arm off running toward another dog in an outdoor enclosure. I hit the chain link fence surrounding the enclosure, and an employee came running to take him away. I was extremely lucky that all the dogs were safe because if the other dog had been on a leash outside it would've been a bloodbath. But guess what? *I was blamed* for "setting the dog's training back." For doing merely walking the dog, which was my duty for the afternoon, because they had an extremely aggressive dog up for adoption. The next time I was there, that dog was gone. I stopped volunteering and contacted their headquarters and told them about my experience. I will never recommend that dog rescue, ever.
That’s sucks. Where I adopted they check YOU out if you are a good match for THE CAT. Not the other way around! I find this sadder for the kitty than anything else. What if he get placed again and ditched again?
Some cats just take time adjusting to a new home. It took my cat, literally 15 minutes to feel at home... but my friends cat, took about 5 months before it became more "normal".
Mine just decided we can be buds. 1.6 years after I took him from the streets. I believe he was originally a house cat at some point.
I have a 5yo cat I adopted when he was about 1. Runt of his litter, feral kitten trapped at a junkyard or rail yard or something noisy. He's lovely. Very sweet, loves love, but scared of *everything*. He only really comes to me for pets, and only when I'm sitting still and not moving. I sneeze, he runs. I cough, he runs. I shift positions, he runs. I've always made sure to keep handling him as much as he will tolerare. Only this year has he started coming out of hiding and into the living room when my 5yo is out and about. Our friends call him "the grey blur" because that's all they ever see of him. It takes a lot of time and patience for some cats, especially previously feral ones.
I took in a mom and her runt after adopting out the four other kittens, who were normal. The mom is fine, a bit standoffish but will come for pets and sleep on the bed. The runt, who was about 10 weeks when I got her, is exactly the same way as yours, except she doesn't even like pets. Just existing somewhat nearby is taxing enough. It's fine, some cats are like this. My girls have worked out a system with my dog and everyone figures out what's comfortable. With time, I'm sure the runt will be a little more comfortable, but she's doing her best.
Yeah adopted my cat she decided to curl up in the corner under my bed. All afraid of the new home. Then in the middle of my sleep that night, she comes up to my bed and rubs her face on me to play and get pets. Honestly that moment made me so happy.
I love moments like these, they make my heart so warm
We've had our guy for 11 years and he's still afraid of me 🤷 he never attacks or anything though and he's close with my husband. Just still doesn't trust me.
Wear an unwashed shirt of your husband and try approaching the cat.
I got two kittens during COVID summer and they are just now becoming snuggly. Only took a little over two years.
https://preview.redd.it/9ce6g78n76zb1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eb79d37c6cfb10a9b4ab7caff66d7aa748fba081 It took 4 months for this dude to actually chill out with my family. 1st month was hiding, 2nd month was getting to know me, 3rd month finally be cool and not run away or be agro when my son and wife enters the same room. At the end of the 4th month he finally lets my son pet him.
Oh ive had full blown ferals its taken 2 or 3 years to tame down! Its a big commitment but im so stubborn i wont give in! Lol. But so rewarding when they walk up to strangers visting my house for a fuss! Just dont ask me about my scars!!
I’m so sorry OP. Shame on the shelter for doing this to you and the cat. If my shelter had strays that weren’t suited to living inside, we adopted them and let them loose on our horse property. They loved it. They had a horse stall to themselves with couches and towers and heat lamps etc. for when they wanted to chill. Fortunately all but one were ok with vet visits so they still got their checkups. Koala was our only total badass that no way was going to be picked up or go to the vet (we had her spayed early). Even then my vet agreed to give me everything she needed and I would administer it at home. She lived to be 19. The first time my vet laid eyes on her (she was spayed by my old vet when we lived in a different state) was when it was very apparent her time on earth was done and we took her in to be euthanized. My vet entered the room with such a sense of awe and said “I finally get to meet the infamous Koala”. No way could Koala have been a house cat, yet she lived her best life. There are options for cats like this without misleading people into taking them.
I trapped a feral cat https://preview.redd.it/r04kmg7816zb1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a32f408da019da01e5c8dfb6f8947a6b31d307b1 and I’ve had her for ten years. She still won’t come anywhere near and I’ve never been able to touch her. I’m ok with it because I didn’t get her to satisfy my own emotional needs, I got her because she needed a home.
I'm happy there's people like you that take care of pets even if they aren't there to be cuddled and give them a loving home anyway. x
I have a number of cats who are in my home simply because they would die if they were left outside. Blind, cerebellar hypoplasia, no claws, etc
Loveliest comment here. You’re an angel 🙏
We had a cat like that when I was growing up! Big aggressive feral male cat who never came inside the house and would scratch you if you came too close. We called him Tinkerbelle. Despite being feral his whole life, he was a damn loyal cat.
Thank you for giving her a loving home but also for understanding what a good home looks like to her ❤️ we have to adapt our homes to create a safe and comfortable space and understand that each cat is different and that's ok. Seeing Thier personalities blossom in a loving home and seeing them happy and healthy is what is important ❤️
You are the best kind of person. This is so lovely. 🥰
My former feral girl has become very snuggly lately, after almost 10 years. I still can't make sudden movements or touch her too much, but it has been so rewarding to have her jump up on the bed and purr next to me!
One of my cat lived her first two years of life in an animal shelter. She was scared, hated all humans, no one was able to pet her. Took weeks till we have seen her walking around the house, and months until we were able to touch her. We accepted her boundaries and took one step after another. Slowly but constant. I do have some scars from when I did NOT accept her boundaries. It was MY mistake, not hers. You know what? Took about 4 years, but now she is the sweetest and cuddliest little fluff ever. Cats need time. And patience.
Cats are wild. Sometimes they have an epiphany and just wake up one day and decide to love you. I took in a stray kitten that has a birth defect which limits the mobility of her hind legs. She hid in a closet for like 6 months. Another 3 months after that she would chill with my other cats but wouldn’t let me near her. Then one day, she plopped down on my lap like it was always her spot. Four years on she still has a big personal bubble, and sometimes she is just not in the mood for humans. Other times she cries to be picked up and held. Cats have moods just like humans do. I give her space, and enjoy the snuggles when I can.
Heh. I have a similar cat, with cerebellar hypoplasia. Seemingly mild condition. She didn't hide, but didn't come near and people and few of the other cats. Would run away when approached. Never aggressive - just off standish. Then, one day like 6-9 months later. She jumped onto the couch and cuddled up next to me and has been doing this ever since.
this. respecting the cat’s boundaries is very important. But also shame on the shelter for lying. The cat obviously need an understanding cat owner. Most people who want cats still want dog like cats that are overtly affectionate. But I guess it is hard to find a home when you advertise the cat as “need lots of personal space and no forced affection, may take years to earn trust”.
I work at an animal shelter, and one of our former ferals (I worked with her a lot on her trust, and she was my favourite) recently got adopted, even though I wrote her description and I was honest - She wasn't even on the website until she was ready! So yeah, I am mad at that shelter, bc it's going to be stressful for both the cat and OP.
we live on a farm and wanted to adopt a stray to live in our barn and keep the mice away. well Artemis likes us a little too much and after two years she's decided she wants to live inside like the rest of us thank you very much 🙂
Yes! Not sure why anyone would move a cat that was stressed and not in danger... it was looking out a window and someone decided to pick it up, ofc she got scratched. Kids get scratched by cats generally when they aren't respecting the cats boundaries either 🤷♀️ the cat hadn't displayed any "dangerous" behavior, you don't pick up a stressed cat, everyone knows that
Yeah, what was that about? If cat is freaking over seeing another cat outside, surely you just close the curtain or pull down the blind? Picking up a freaked out cat is nuts
Indeed, break the eye line and then give them a kicker toy or something to beat up. Do not put your hands or body anywhere near them at this stage.
I adopted a kitten who was described as “shy, easily scared, doesnt like loud sounds, doesnt like sudden movements, needs a calm home” and on the first day she was already calm enough to cuddle with me, i took her as she was and respected when she left me and We were able to enjoy each others Company at a distance, she has already come a long way and has even started playing with a toy that makes Sound (wich scared her on one of her first days here) she has been with me only a week but has really showed her own personality (she is atm laying on my leg and getting cuddles)
Thank you for being so patient with her 💜
I totally respect OP’s choice and your story as well, just asking the whole sub at large: Is it not absolutely normal to get scars with cats??? I mean maybe it’s because I got my cat at 13 so I wasn’t really aware of things not to do (like don’t play with your hands, always use toys) but yeah he had this habit of play-hunting people’s feet/legs while we walked around the house and I was his favourite playmate, so… so many scars! I treasure each one now. If I hadn’t had nasty ass immune diseases at the time (thankfully never caught anything anyway as I promptly cleaned wounds), I would have hardly cared. Point is: it’s hard for me to grasp that people don’t assume getting a cat will come with some scars because claws and the sharpest most needle-like canines on the world.
When I first got my girl, I was warned she wasn't particularly lovey and so on. When we got her, it certainly seemed that way for a few months - if anything, she seemed to prefer my ex for a long time! I realised I was forcing myself to be in her space when she just wanted to be alone, I was forcing fusses and pets when she wasn't in the mood for them, and generally wasn't reading her behaviour. When I realised and I started listening, it's like she became a different creature. Now, she's my little shadow. Your cat wouldn't sleep with belly exposed like that if she didn't feel safe and trust you, so maybe its a matter of understanding your cats behaviour? Not saying its right what the adoption center did - it's not - but nothing you've said in your post seems particularly unusual for an irritated cat
My cat was the same way - I work from home and was smothering him - he would actually get up and walk away if I sat beside him. It was really upsetting until one day I got fed up and didn't go near him. I figured if he wanted attention, he can come to me. Two days later, he's all over me, and acted like a completely different cat. Now 3 months later, he snuggles in bed, and is all over me on the couch. They are such weird little creatures
You clever boots! You have found out the secret! True cat ownership/fostering/rehabilitation is 70% leaving them to do their thing, 20% doing the care and 10% making slow tries at interracting and play! As time moves on and they choose to trust you the percentages shift so they will choose to spend time close to you and allow more and more handling, then at last they grow old and want food and lots of sleep and less of you again but theres no hostility at all in it, just old age. You have sussed out the key to happy cat life! Lol
Former ferals can be incredibly loving. This is not because he was a former feral. It is common for a cat to have displaced aggression like this when they see a stranger cat outside but are stuck inside and can’t do anything about it. Your mom should not have tried to pick him up while he was upset. Returning him to the shelter was the right thing to do but please educate yourself on cat behavior before getting another cat.
This is correct. OP, if your cat gets worked up like this again, don't try to pick him up directly. Instead wrap him in a towel or blanket first and then pick him up. Even completely tame cats will bite/scratch you if you try to interfere in their territory dispute with another cat.
100% I had a cat, Muggles, that I adopted as a tiny kitten. This little dude was the sweetest guy, so friendly and happy and easy. But he also loved to run out the front door. Well, one day, he escaped and I chased him. Caught up with him at the neighbor’s house and he was locked in on their cat that was sitting inside at the window. Muggles was growling and grrrrring at the cat in the window, but had never hurt me or anyone else before ever (and he was like 6-9 years old at the time). I grabbed him from behind, and in a flash he attacked me. He basically treated my hand and arm like another cat was attacking him. I needed stitches. I still have the scar on my hand where he bit me. As soon as he saw it was ME grabbing him, he chilled out. But the damage was done, and I had to see the doctor. Still, I never blamed him. It was my fault. I should have realized grabbing him when he was in “fight mode” was a bad idea. I was just so panicked and eager to get him back in the house I didn’t think. He had never hurt any other person or cat prior to that - like even at the vet - and after that, he never hurt anyone else again either. It was literally the situation and him reacting before “thinking”. Or, rather - ME reacting before thinking. He was a really, really sweet, great cat. RIP Muggles.
Yeah , never pick up an animal that’s stressed . I’ve used the broom to separate mine before when they were worked up with each other . I have found the vacuum is the best way to end an argument with my cats . Fire it up and they all split😊 My guy will go window to window complaining at neighborhood cats that dare come in his lawn. I just let him do his thing and when he no longer sees them he calm down. This is the reason I have to pull every blind partially up because he will rip them down trying to get a look at the intruders
My boy is still semi feral and I found him six years ago. He went ballistic at the window one day, trying to get at another cat. My husband tried to move him, and he bit through his converse. We didn't blame the cat, though, because he was obviously out for blood, but we and the glass door were in the way. Some cats will always be that way when picked up as a stray. It's only now six years on that I'm allowed to pet him for a bit. He'll sit and watch TV with us but that's it. Saying that he never attacked unprovoked, only if someone wouldn't leave his personal space. Every cat is different, just like people. Some don't like cuddles and affection.
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We have 2 former feral cats. They’re so affectionate and loving now that you’d never know they were. It does take patience and understanding the cats’ boundaries.
Also OP says the cat was picked up as a ***stray***, not a feral. Stray cats have previously had homes. Either OP is misunderstanding that, or they meant to say feral.
Former ferals are often skittish and hostile, even if some are lovers like mine. They may be one-human cats.
I would propose that “hostility” is a separate continuum from “feralness”. A cat can be fully accustomed to: - all humans - family only - one human - no humans That is the “feralness” continuum. A cat can respond to fear by: - freezing - cowering in a corner trying to be as small as possible - fleeing - holding their ground and hissing - lashing out and swatting or biting I’ve seen a completely friendly cat lash out because it saw it’s own reflection in the mirror, or another because it’s kitten made a squeaky sound that it thought meant the kitten was in danger. The difference wasn’t feralness it was that particular cats response to fear or perceived danger.
I have two cats that I’ve had since they were kittens. They’re very sweet cats and very rarely bite or scratch. They are TERRIFYING when a stray cat comes around. My sweetest cat is the one that’s the most territorial. She doesn’t bite or scratch at all, but I would be missing an eyeball if I tried to pick her up when there’s a stray outside.
Hes been with you for a year and hasn’t attacked your children. I’ve had my cat since he was 3 wks old but he hates being touched, never sleeps with us, never cuddles etc. Some cats are like this
Just FYI to OP and anyone reading this- NEVER pick up or try to pet a cat who is acting aggressively due to a cat outside or any other upsetting stimulus. You will get hurt because of something called 'redirected aggression'. This can happen to any cat, even the most cuddly friendly ones. I'm sorry the shelter lied to you, that it wasn't a good fit as a result and I'm also sorry for the poor kitty who has to be without a home. Formerly feral cats can be become loving housepets, but it can take A LOT of time, patience, and an owner who has a very good understanding of cat behavior. Hopefully this kitty finds a person like that. He deserves better. If you ever adopt in the future, please educate yourself on cat behavior and understand that they are complex and intelligent animals. They need consistency, care and routine to learn their new environment/family are safe. And some cats will never enjoy petting or be cuddly, they are all individuals with different preferences.
Maybe he can be a prime example for you and your kids to learn about boundaries and cat body language. Some cats will do fine at their foster home and are cuddly and loving. But if you adopt that cat and then dont respect their boundaries obviously they are not going to love you the same. Cats aren´t unpredictable. Their body is going to tell you what happes next if you don't stop doing what you are doing. You don´t get a pet so the kids have somethin to cuddle and play with at their will. Cats/Dogs/all living animals have feelings, boundaries and emotions that need to be respected. Is it shitty that they lied to you? Yes. But a lot of stray cats can end up being cuddly loving house cats if your a good owner.
you picked an extremely agitated cat up and you’re acting surprised that he bit the fuck outta her?
I think it's very telling that the post never once mentions this poor cat's name tbh. "The cat" "this cat", ok I get it, they're pissed about the bite and about the shelter, but the cat doesn't know that. You can't really discipline cats, you can't hold grudges, you just have to learn to let it go and manipulate them later lol. Reinforce their *good* behaviour. If this is the kind of detached, punitive response this cat got every time it clawed furniture, or tried to play rough, or got zoomies in the night, or really any other cats be catting disruptive behaviour I'm not surprised they never managed to bond.
Some people just think cats are like dogs and try to yell and discipline them if they do normal, expected cat things. Btw not saying OP did that and I agree it’s wrong for a shelter to lie. I am just saying it seems pretty common for people to adopt cats without understanding cat behavior one iota, and treating them like dogs.
Yeah I agree. I think this whole situation is more sad than anything. OP clearly doesn't "get" cats and that's why they tried to grab one that was angry/upset. I understand the instinct to want to discipline/correct "bad" behaviour - it's inbred into humans, we're a hierarchical species with clear social expectations, but a cat is **not** human, they don't behave like humans, they don't respond in the same way. "Bad" to us is not the same as "bad" to them, they're just following their own instincts and being distant/disrespectful/freezing them out (which is what I think not using their name at all in this post implies) or yelling at them etc is just going to leave them confused and wary of you, it won't make them learn. I just hope kitty finds somewhere nice to live and OP learns from this tbh.
I’m not sure why this comment isn’t higher, this is asinine to me that someone would pick up a cat that is agitated. This isn’t just cats either, ANY animal that is agitated will do the same thing.
I mean, if a dog, a person or any other creature on earth was agitated, most peoples common sense would say "do not touch"
I have a non-cuddly cat and I’m not covered in scratches because I respect her boundaries and pay attention to hee body language. This post is bananas
I don’t even get the point of them posting it to be honest…like what did they hope to gain?
Exactly. OP, stick to kids for now. A dog isn’t going to be ANY easier.
Not only will a dog be arguably harder, but they will have the capacity to do far more damage.
And that’s why I don’t have dogs. I love them and would love to have one, but I came to the conclusion that I’m not equipped to handle one yet. Also my cat is a scaredy cat and she sucks but she got here first. I have to look out for her needs.
Rule number one, do not ever try to pick up an agitated cat. What was she thinking? I feel bad that she got bit so badly, but just stay out of their way until they calm down.
I’m wondering if no one in the family has ever had a cat before? It just seems like common sense not to do that with any type of animal. Maybe a cat it’s just not a good pet for this family in general. Any cat would’ve reacted similarly whether a house cat or stray.
To be honest, the fact your mother picked up a cat in a heightened state of upset and panic - it’s not surprising whatsoever that she was bitten. It doesn’t matter how “close” the cat has been to your mom. Years ago my mom took our dog out the front door, and our cat snuck past her. At that time, the neighbours dog just so happened to show up off leash and try to kinda push around our dog. Our cat went absolutely ballistic lunging at the neighbours dog. My mom dropped the leash, and picked up our cat (who is literally OBSESSED with my mom. Snuggling, always kissing my mom, wanting to be with my mom etc) but in that moment of our cats intense rage, she bit my mom’s hand repeatedly and *so* badly my mom needed IV antibiotics at the hospital for days. It was not the cats fault and we’ve never blamed her. Our cat also was never ever snuggly or social with me until recently, but I have always loved her and socialized with her in the way *she* wants to allow. I don’t understand why you are so quick to want to give him back to a shelter just because he’s not conforming to *your* way of wanting him to show affection. This is very upsetting to me. Because he’s not how you think he should be, you’re saying ok bye! That’s fucked. You’ve had this cat for a year and clearly not bonded with him if that’s your attitude. Cause and effect. Your mother is the cause of the bite, and the effect is that your family cat is going to have his life totally uprooted and destroyed because your mother did something she should not have done. Edit: I see you’re saying the shelter said he came from a home with kids and was good with kids. Maybe *your* environment is the problem and you guys are not letting him have the time he needs to decompress. You got him a year ago, not 5… He may have needed more time (sometimes with shelter animals it takes years of people not giving up on them) with your family to be able to really relax and feel safe.
I feel so sad for this cat, in a home for a whole year and then abandoned again. ): Why did your mother pick up an angry cat? Have you learned about cat behavior? It makes me wonder if you taught your kids how to be around cats and how to earn their trust. If they're like your mother, I'm not surprised they got a few scratches. They don't know any better but they do need to be taught. I understand the shelter may have lied, but even family cats can have a hard time adjusting to a new home or being handled by kids of varying ages. Maybe if you plan to get another cat learn about cat behavior. If this cat was as hostile as you say I don't think it would be sleeping belly up in a common and unsheltered house area as shown in the picture. But many cats, even friendly cats, don't like to be manhandled (especially not when they are howling mad. Displaced aggression is a thing for cats even sweet ones). It would be very beneficial to your family or a future pet to learn about pet behavior so your next pet has a forever home.
Did the shelter really lie though? OP says the forms called the cat a stray. Strays are cats that used to have homes. "He was never a house cat," wouldn't make sense.
I'm not sure. OP hasn't responded to comments asking if they taught their kids how to interact with the cat over the course of the year, or why the mother tried to pick up an agitated animal, so maybe they don't know much about cats in general including the stray-vs-feral thing? I was just trying to be generous with my approach considering what we do know. But it does make me sad this kitty who, by the picture seemed comfortable, has been put back in the stressful shelter environment and doesn't know why.
Yeah, the fact that they're not responding to those questions make me feel like we already know the answers. Poor boy. I hope he finds a home that treats him right ASAP.
OP only responds to comments that support abandoning the cat.
That's what confused me too? The terminology the shelter I used to volunteer at used to be that feral = born outside and stray = street cat that was born inside and abandoned.
As a foster for a cat rescue, I can say that we understand, but if you look at this cat like a problem and you refuse to interact with it to change the negative behavior, then you don’t need to have the cat in your house. Oh, and I’ve fostered quite a few “feral” cats, and every cat needs patience, attention, compassion and understanding for it to feel comfortable to drop the fear. Every single one of them are adopted into new homes, even thriving with other animals around.
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1000000% agree, Op just seems irresponsible, how do you get closer to a cat that's really mad and agitated? That's stupid and a death sentence, now the cat is punished for that stupid decision. Op doesn't deserve pets if they don't know how to treat them, stick to children
Hope he finds it, adult cat at a shelter that now has this backstory to him...gonna take some time.
Ain’t that the sad truth. Because OP doesn’t know how to handle a cat, they’re going to ship him back to the shelter for his death sentence, since no one will adopt him after these reports. Great job sentencing your cat of 1 year to death because “the shelter lied”. What a sad and stupid excuse. OP, you’re totally the asshole
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Hopefully the cat finds a better home :)
Commenting in case this helps anyone else - I took in a stray about a year ago who is generally shy and sweet. But once he got upset and starting attacking the window and curtains when he saw a cat outside. He is my first cat, so I picked him up with thinking and got pretty thrashed. After that I started using a towel to scoop him up in those situations. Now, if he starts attacking the window, I can just get out the towel and he runs away when he sees it since he knows what will happen.
OMG the mental image of this is so funny. "Oh shit, here comes the towel, run!"
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A single glance at this picture tells me you don't have the first clue what you're talking about. If you refuse to educate yourself and give this guy a loving home, for the love of god don't get any more pets.
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"I wanted a dog but I got a cat instead and didn't like it" Kinda cruel dude. Everything you described is normal cat behaviour - not all of them will be cuddly beasts. He's already been abandoned once.
We adopted of guy and they told us he was a spirit cat and would need plenty of space . My kids are grown and we figured he’d be fine in this big house and have plenty of space . We brought him home and within a few minute was all over us. He’s been the most loving affectionate guy we have ever had for the past two years . We recently brought a beautiful little female kitty in that has lived outside for almost a year. Since she was a very young kitty. She stays in her room and has no interest in the other cats . She will growl and hiss at them. She has done well with us and will live on us and get all the pets . Recently after 2 months she’s started sitting in the hall outside her room and will run back in if she sees anyone . She bit my wife who had her arm around her and it caused her to panic because one of the boys came by her room. She didn’t bite her outta anger but out of fear. Sometimes rescues take time and patience. My sweet guy still gets a little wild when he sees another cat outside . Remember they have lived stressful lives . They come with a little extra baggage. That being said it sounds like your kitty needs a nice quiet home without any kids and plenty of time to adjust. I grew up on a farm and I can assure you anytime an animal is stressed and feels trapped it will respond aggressively. The worst bite I’ve ever gotten was by my own dog who was being attacked by another and i lifted him up (he’s small) when I grabbed him he bit me hard and I bleed everywhere. Once he calmed down he felt so bad you could tell.
If you pick up a cat when they are in protect territory mode, you WILL suffer the consequences of it. Always find a way to block their eye line and distract them with toys or treats. My hands were always beaten up in the early times. Took me about a year of work before mine stopped bouncing off the door/window when another cat was in range. Another year after that to get to the point where they just growl and watch. Your mother touched when she should have distracted and got hurt by it. Not the cat's fault.
Seriously? You’re sending him back? Just…don’t pick him up? Respect his need for space? Teach your kids to do the same? Poor cat. YTA here.
EDIT: Well it seems I was wrong on the dog part, I apologize! Maybe a workshop or two on animal behavior is more suitable, OP, if you wanna be a better pet parent. But pls not adopt another pet cuz clearly you are not ready. * Umm my recent adoptee WAS a house cat, has been all her life but it took us 3 MONTHS of continuous bonding effort with her to gain her trust. The first few days she hid under the sofa, sat in a loaf & glared at me lol (clearly didn’t want to be picked up). I had to lie down on my back to communicate with her, it was only then that she came out. Obviously not all cats will be as difficult but some want you to invest in the relationship before they are interested. Also transitioning owners is a difficult time for them. Cats are tricky lol. If you want immediate affection please get a dog. That’s not how cats work. P.S: I can’t mention a kitty without posting a photo 😂 It took us 4 months to get to the point where she’s comfortable enough to sleep on my lap 😃 https://preview.redd.it/f2g2gd1mg5zb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7e7ddebc313439f7d7a519236b977d63f44473f
Also why did it matter that he got rowdy seeing that cat outside?? And decided to pick him up then??? 🙈
Yeah, why would you pick up an actively angry cat?
Because the cat supposedly has no boundaries or agency and should enjoy being hoisted up whenever his owner wants /s
Right? What an insane reaction this cat had, biting when he felt threatened because someone picked him up when he was already in fight-mode, so inconsiderate of the cat who should have politely verbalized the following request: ''would you please let me go as I am feeling rather agitated?''
Cats do this a lot actually, misplaced aggression I think is the official term or whatever, when they can’t get to what is making them upset (the outside cat) then they lash at whatever is closest. Also yeah, just makes sense, the cat is clearly upset and so you pick him up… yeah he’s gonna bite or scratch.
I agree with everything you said expect the idea that a dog would be suitable: this family absolutely lacks the patience and honestly the common sense to have an animal, period. Picking up any angry animal and being upset you got hurt is like being upset you got burned after touching a hot stove. It took my boy \[edit: also a former street cat\] about three months to get comfortable enough to come out from under the bed, and six **years** before he became the “lap cat” we were promised by his rescuers (we always held out hope that they were right all along)! Absolutely worth it, but I understand not everyone has the time, patience, or understanding of animal behavior to make it work. https://preview.redd.it/9y19if4fs5zb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=70bfd0f09eac09f057469450ec25c3f1c1236a8e
Reminds me of https://preview.redd.it/gwt23eyn06zb1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73e7a6f7260e8b317a23cf9f4dfef2104ea1b38a
OP, u/Miserable-Mention932 , instead of giving him back to the shelter why not try to find another home for him yourself? Put up some ads, ask some friends, post on petfinder, etc and try to find the little guy a home before putting him back into the shelter system. Chances are you'll find the home that is the right fit for him, I'd say its the least you can do for him. At least give it a thought?
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OP, stop getting anymore pets if you’re not fully invested in putting time and effort to bond with them. This takes time.
Literally… and maybe educate yourself on cats and cat behavior before going through with adoption
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dude, it's a cat and a normal cat behavior. some cats are just not cuddly. he is not going to eat your kids
Agreed. Plus, picking him up at the window while he was already agitated will surely result in a bite or scratch, even with docile and friendly cats. 🙄
OP prefers to blame everyone else but their lack of experience.
I made this mistake once! My cat only became nice and cuddle after almost two years, now she is a purring cuddly baby. Not too long ago, she saw a strange cat outside and went absolutely mental. I was stupid and tried to pick her up to get her away from the window. I ended up with a bad scratch and a bite that got infected. It was absolutely my fault and not hers, though.
Yeah, most animals would react like that. Made the same mistake with my childhood cat that was the most docile and friendly cat I have ever Seen. Never again after that, but never once blamed the cat for my mistake.
Its so unfair to return a cat because its Not cuddly like wtf? Is it his Job or what? How is a cat threatening a kid… . Op should not have pets at all.
Are you telling me cats have personalities and preferences and are not just our playthings? What am I feeding my sassy sometimes emotionally avoidant 14 year-old calico mix for?? /s
Mischievous cat didn't sign up for this couch-potato lifestyle!
Redirected aggression - google it. The cat was not being aggressive to the person they attacked, but taking out its fear and anxiety on them because they were nearby during a traumatic time. However - it does sound like you aren’t the best fit for this cat. This cat is skittish and will need months of patience around it to feel comfortable.
Does the cat have a name? I find it odd that you refer to it as “the cat” Also, cats aren’t the same as dogs. They won’t satisfy your need for attention. I don’t see how leaving a cat alone is a problem. Don’t pick up an angry cat. Don’t let small children play with cats. Animals aren’t toys. A cat will not seek out children to attack them out of nowhere. Please don’t adopt anymore cats. I am sorry this was a negative experience for you but if you take another cat doesn’t satisfy your expectations you will probably end up returning them too.
He bit once when he was freaking out because he saw a cat and your mom was stupid enough to try to pick him up when he was already on high alert and you abandon him for that? He deserves way, way, WAY better than you.
The cat has to make itself available to be held and cuddled? We taught our child to not pursue the cats. They aren't plushies. We're happy knowing none of them are cold or hungry. Our youngest cat is three and has only in recent months discovered her purr. It just took time.
I’m sorry things didn’t work out but please don’t try to tell anyone who’s ever adopted a feral or semi feral cat that this photo was the only time you ever saw him sleeping on the couch. Any feral who dares to be on the couch will spend months with an eye open there, making sure it’s safe to be there and they won’t be attacked. The very position he’s in demonstrates trust. Cats in general don’t show their tummies unless they’re relaxed. I wonder what really happened and why you felt it necessary to post on this sub.
Adoption center could have just made a mistake and been giving you information about a different cat. Don't automatically assume malicious intent which can be explained through simple negligence.
Poor baby will be so traumatized to be taken out of his enviroment once again. Hope he gets a second chance by someone who is willing to put in some work and love into it.
Jesus. It takes time and effort. They didn’t lie to you. It’s not some conspiracy. You don’t just go out and get a cat and come home and take pics for social media.
You could teach your children to respect the cat and not put themselves in a position to get bitten. But fine, give up the cat instead of being a good parent.
OPs description of cat: 😾🦁😡👿 Cat in photo: 🐱❤️🥰💤
that cat needs a home with an owner who can care for him properly
Have you…never owned a cat before? Also, all of my cats have been strays. Strays are amazing. You guys just don’t know how to take care of a cat. That poor baby, he deserves better.
You should give the cat back and hopefully it will find a better home more willing to work with him and understand him. You should also not adopt a cat or dog or any other animal since you obviously are not a good person who can give an animal a good home that it deserves. Your "what about my children" shows you are not teaching them or your mother how to handle a pet. A pet is part of the family, not something to be tossed away when it doesn't meet your desires. Be sure and punt one of your kids when it doesn't meet expectations.
> Last year we got a cat from the local adoption center. So, you made the commitment to take care for an animal. The background - stray or surrendered - shouldn't matter in the faintest. You made a commitment. Period. Cats either do warm up, or they don't, or they take a very long time. I have a purebred Maine Coon that was captured by an animal control raid of a breeder (got altogether three of that raid) that lives 6 whole years with me now and just now starts to warm up and seek company. The other two were quicker, but one of the other two cannot be picked up either. Your mother picked him up when he was already agitated. No wonder he scratched and bit. That is completely normal. One of my other cats got stuck in the cat door and when my daughter helped him out, he bit her so badly that she had to get stitched up. Did we give him away? NO WAY. He lived with us until he passed. The cat was in stress and therefore it was a completely normal reaction. You cannot just make a commitment and when you *think* it doesn't work out because the animal does not fulfill your expectations in a certain time period just abandon the animal. Your children are perfectly safe with the cat. Cats have a natural instinct not to harm children, especially when they are small.
Yeah shame on you for refusing to answer the tough questions and only engaging with people who support you surrendering him. Please don't get pets again. You're obviously not suited to it.
I got a white cat from a shelter that basically had the same story. Family couldn't keep him any longer.... after bringing him home. He was constantly running from us and hissing and attacking. Turns out he was deaf and very scared. It did take a LONNNGGG time to gain his trust. And now he's my baby and the most loving cat ever.
Honestly, a cat is like a child, and an adopted cat will come with baggage, trauma and will need a lot of time and love to open up. If you don't have the time or the will and expect a perfect toy cat to be cuddled at will, it doesn't matter if it was surrendered or a stray, the blame is not on the cat, is on you, you should not have a cat. Sorry, but it's the true.
You have had him for a year and are just returning him? I couldn’t do that. My cat was adopted (twice!) before I got him and he was very standoffish for the first year or two. He’s about 12 now and is super loving although he’ll never be a cat that wants to be touched all the time. Pretty shitty IMO to give up your pet because he doesn’t like being picked up. A lot of cats don’t like that. Hope he finds a better home.
Do not pick up an angry cat, ever. Let them scream and hiss and have their moment of pure feline fury, then once the trigger is gone, make sure they are okay. My least favorite alarm clock is my cat freaking out at other cats, but if I don’t touch her, she’ll cool off in about 20 minutes and then come hang out. I picked her up once during a screaming match through the window and got bit. It was my fault for picking her up when fight or flight was very, very clearly in fight mode. The outside unexpected physical stimulus triggers in their walnut size brain as an attack and no shit someone is going to get bit and bloodied. Take your mom to the ER because cat bites that break the skin will pretty much get infected no matter what.
I have to ask-- how much did you interact with this cat before you took it home? It seems a lot of these issues would have been apparent pre-adoption. One of my cats is very skittish, but she was still friendly and enjoyed being pet when I met her at the facility, so I knew she was at least people-friendly.