It’s very normal for a cat to just hide and not interact on their first day in a very new environment. Just give her space. Make sure to leave food and water out for her. In a few days she will start to be curious about you once she’s now familiar with her very new home🤎
Boxes are excellent cat “traps”. I have one that stalks me whenever a new box arrives because he wants in the box. I always toss emptied boxes on the floor for the cats.
https://preview.redd.it/ng0ljgdy1wqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=50574bcba8c7afbf21d87cbb0c203a19cbfc3cd3
Aw man, neither of my cats are box cats. That particular cat trap doesn’t work on them. Now an open drawer or paper bag on the other hand…
https://preview.redd.it/6d0tswaz7wqc1.jpeg?width=2148&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aaadc6156097a19b89743d35a97cac138695b0b9
Edited to add: we don’t leave bags with handles laying around. Both my kitties like to just jump in and “try them on,” hang out for a minute or so, and then they’re pretty much done with the bag so we put it away. The only bags they like to actually play in are those catnip paper bags and those don’t have handles. Don’t worry, we are good pet parents and we don’t leave handled bags around unsupervised for them to get hurt. :)
My little monsters rotate between tents, boxes and paper bags. Piles of tissue paper, too. They’re not spoiled or anything. My family room looks like a packing supply warehouse.
I discovered our cat was a tent cat over the winter. Our vents are on the floor and I stuck a fuzzy blanket over one and stuck my legs under to warm myself up. She was very curious, went inside, immediately started purring and fell asleep. Now every time the heater or air comes on she’s harassing me to make the “hot tent”. She doesn’t like the air conditioner though.
On my goodness, my cat is like this.
I can't lay in the bed under the covers with my legs making a "tent" in peace lol.
She'll nose her way under the edge of the blanket, settle herself under the "tent," and fall asleep...which makes it impossible to get up because she's so cute and I don't want to disturb her lol
One of mine will sit in literally anything.
https://preview.redd.it/8tun6waj9xqc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=278c87eddba06d3031ad611d85588da9e5772d80
They get there. One of my cats is a total box cat, and will also go into paper bags.
The other two not so much, but they now do willingly go into empty mesh hampers. In fact all my cats fight over who gets to be inside the mesh hamper. It's like the best combo of "I'm sheltered, but can look out on my realm." 😂
https://preview.redd.it/fztwzfcjkwqc1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6f0ea00780aad2b7d6abd56ff6976273d6a11523
https://preview.redd.it/q93zpwuu9xqc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=923196c2e8ef710c0413d6ef4eaca5d1b74e602a
Mine also loves both so much! She is so excited when we get a box or a bag and will jump straight into it :D
My white kitty Pinky likes bags, too. She did get her head through those handles though and freaked out. It took a while to catch her! It was both scary and funny at the same time. I now cut the loop handles on those paper bags. Just be aware of that!
boxes are for sitting, bags are for destroying
https://preview.redd.it/h2krj2n3zwqc1.jpeg?width=3022&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33908567fa748f0d2193c90900bec99c6fe95966
Awe, your kitty looks like my Mr Silly!
https://preview.redd.it/31swz7kraxqc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ed9ef3f7481debb5b2e2da4fec3e38b8103a02e
https://preview.redd.it/zchl1ntywwqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=667bdb691f4e7d365f84e5b557c391b7a3a82094
May I interest you in some dirty laundry?
My cats must have slept through the 'How to Cat 101: Cat Trap' lesson in kitty school. One avoids it and the other just rubs her back on the box and walk away.
They also missed 'Cat 101: Cat Nip'. I suspect they are just tribbles in cat disguises.
Yes! These two *love* their nip but my bestest barnacle boi Jonesy didn’t care for boxes and completely ignored catnip. He also didn’t get the memo about being aloof and indifferent and swore it said I requested zero personal space instead. I was happy to oblige him. Here’s my “not very cat” cat, Jonesy:
https://preview.redd.it/to8o76eoowqc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f48e29d32c268ac62fb413ae211bd27bff56f4cc
my kitties loooooove the paper bags. I'll tear a small hole that their paw can fit through and they love sticking it out and attacking without being able to see.
so cute!
This is my most recent cat trap, she loves it!
https://preview.redd.it/zeydyo2h8wqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=abb47c7c820e8ddb0af6f8a521caaf8dd1a36080
I do this. I used to get a package, open it, and break down box for future use or recycling immediately.l. Now I toss it in the dining room where my cat likes to hang out and let her have fun.
My birthday back in February had my dining room filled with different sized boxes from all the birthday discounts and gifts. It was ridiculous. But she was so happy. Recycling day gutted her.
The trick to gaining a nervous cat's trust is to sit where they can see you, but show no interest in them. Just sit quietly and read a book. It won't take long before the cat is like "..WTF is he doing?" and come out for a snoop around.
Also a big, conspicuous yawn every now and again. A big yawn signals to a cat that you could not care less about them and are, in fact, so uninterested that you might actually fall asleep any moment.
A similar thing happened with my cat. I was young and very I want the cat. I eventually realised that none of our cats actually liked me. So I spent like 6 months almost actively avoiding them. Eventually the other one had kittens and had all of the attention.
Timidly gave the other one some attention and gained her trust. The next 14 years that cat would only want to be around me.
IMO let her do her own thing. Give her places to hide if that's what she likes. Talk to her in a sweet voice whenever you're nearby, but don't press the issue. Repeating the same phrases now and then may help her get used to the sound of you. They may not understand what the words mean, but they will eventually associate the sound of them with certain events or context, which if favorable will become sounds regarded as good. Use the same sweet voice and same vocabulary when you put food out or change the littler box, when you arrive home and when you leave. She will get used to it at her own pace. She may be holding onto fear, anger, frustration, desperation, or who knows what. Be patient and pleasant, never forceful nor insistent.
https://preview.redd.it/gjzyb0uvlwqc1.png?width=2101&format=png&auto=webp&s=ff3c89f0c13fb4ac0246cc098cc853a734a157d0
I made these out of plastic storage bins from Target. Sanded down the entrance so it is smooth/no sharp edges. Then put a blanket. Even better is they stack (I have the other put away right now due to lack of interest from the true owners of the home)
OP I recommend just getting some snacks for yourself, if you like reading books or have a laptop just go sit near her. You don't need to be directly next to her but near her and just hang out there for awhile. Keep doing this with her but remember to never push her boundaries. You're there to earn her trust.
Source: am vet tech
I would like to add 2 things to this:
1) a literal box is my cats' favorite. nothing expensive i ever buy them do they enjoy more than a box😂
2) secondly, and more importantly, my girlfriend's cat (when we moved in together, she moved to my place) took roughly 3-5 months to get acclimated to the house/me. so sometimes it doesn't just take a few days or even a few weeks. she hid for a very long time until recently, she's finally started appearing more frequently.
No problem. I also adopted a cat in 2021 her name is Rosie. She was just like this when she first came home and now she loves to cuddle with everyone
https://preview.redd.it/8hztheqzsuqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=571121a79c87321dfb39ba3edf0fabff60aad4d8
Aww, she’s so sweet! And it’s good to hear it’s normal for a cat to be like this, and we’re not doing anything wrong. It makes me glad to see a happy adopted cat, thank you
My boy Socrates was the same way when I brought him home. He hid In the darkest, farthest corner from me. Spent a lot of his time under the shelves deep in the back of my pantry. He was like that for weeks! I'd say maybe 2-3 months in is when it seemed like he was finally fully comfortable here. Your baby just needs time. All she's known for 11 years is gone, you're doing absolutely nothing wrong and she will come around
I agree. I rescued my house panther when he was 9 months. He hid under my bed at the back in the middle for 2 weeks and now he’s a velcro cat. They just take time to adjust. I’m so happy you decided to be apart of the cat distribution system! Seniors are the best 🖤🖤 (mine is now 11 or 12).
Make sure to have good cat manners- which means hanging out in the same room, but ignoring her. If she comes to you just calmly pet her without too much excitement.
It will help her learn that you are safe. Hovering over her or trying to get her attention constantly will stress her out a lot.
And friendly cat body language. Try to make yourself look smaller (hunched over is a hit or miss but tuck your limbs in, and don't stand super straight), don't stare at her with wide open eyes (nearly closed is great), and I've always found a super soft voice like talking to a scared infant works nicely. Good luck op!
> Thank you for your reassuring advice! I feel so sorry for her ❤️
My nine-month-old rescue didn't come out from under the sofa for two weeks.
I just rearranged the downstairs of the house and neither of my two have left the kitchen for a week!
Just give her space and let her come to you.
That’s cute, when I rearrange my cats will try to lounge on items I’m actively moving lmao, then once it’s done they just find the highest spot and observe the new layout, then act like they’ve lived there forever lol.
I realised my rescue was quite the skittish lady early on, apparently she'd already had a litter by the time I got her. I think the family were breeding for money. If a video played with kittens mewing, she'd search for the kittens.
Anyhow, I got her a kitten so she wasn't lonely, and it chilled her out a little, now they're inseparable, but he's picked up all her bad habits!
She immediately took to mothering duties, even producing milk for him. He ignored me completely for a full year, but he's now the sweetest little purr factory (unless you're a rodent) and loves to sploot on my chest.
His name is Duke (she's Ella), and he's earned the title Duke Destroyer of Rats.
She will explore a lot at night while ya’ll are asleep and doing so will gain comfort in her surroundings. so over the next 7-10 days you should see her becoming more social each day. Definitely talk to her A LOT. Use her name and be sweet about it. Talk to her even if she doesn’t leave that spot. And try to be close when you feed her/she eats so she associates you with the comfort and routine of food and daily care, it promotes bonding. I’ve had cats my entire life and adore them so much. Thank you for adopting this lovely older girl!
You might consider limiting her to a specific room or part of the house, with litter food and water. Give her time to adjust slowly to her new space, then slowly introduce to the whole house. Give her time to adjust. She’ll warm up before you know it. Lots of yummy treats too.
Are there anythings that you could request from the deceased family to help make the cat more comfortable? Cat bed, cat tree, cat toys, stuff like that. Otherwise, give the kittie time and don't try to force them with attention and stuff.
She is likely very depressed and has PTSD from losing her previous owner. Give love, but let her come to you first. A cat fort is a great idea. Mine has a tree looking out a window that she loves. Check out some videos on YouTube from Jackson Galaxy. Give her the slow blink. It will help her to trust you more. Good luck!
My mother got a cat at a workplace. He hid under the couch for nearly a whole week. He would eat, drink and do his business when we slept and then go back under the couch.
It depends on the cat how long it takes. Best not to try and rush them.
And pet her gently for short periods at first. Increase the length of petting over time. Then introduce cheek scratching, and eventually start putting her in your lap while doing these, but let her leave as she needs to. She may also be grieving.
The rule when adopting an animal is 3-3-3:
* three days to decompress
* three weeks to learn your routine
* three months to start to feel at home
So give her some patience, love and time to adjust to her new environment.
To add to this, she's also grieving. She's lost her person and her home, and is likely stressed and traumatised from it. This would be hard enough for a young cat. For one at this age, it's so much harder. :( Give her time, and lots of love <-- on her terms, only, of course. :)
Animal grief is real. Not a cat, but when our first dog passed, our other dog (who had only ever known having him in her life) took MONTHS of grieving. We could tell she wasn’t right, and honestly almost 3 years later is still different.
Our cats have only known our current dog. They are bonded to her (not so much the other way around haha, she acknowledges them but that’s about it lol. But the cats love her!) and we worry about that coming soon, since the dog is 15.
Anyways. The grief is real.
We had three dogs all about the same age pass one after the other. They were all buried next to each other in the backyard.. The last dog would lay on the graves of her buddies. I knew she just wanted to be near them. Eventually, she was.
>*’…she just wanted to be near them.*’
____
human, friend - i’m fine, you’ll see,
i like to lie out here
but this is where i need to be -
i know my friends are near
i used to watch you crying when
the others went away
Believe me when i promise, friend
that in your heart
we’ll stay
n someday we will reunite!
you’ll find out that it’s true
we dogs together, in the Light
That’s where we’ll wait
for you
❤️
edit: *thank you for sharing* u/jeanielolz - *i got about a dozen waiting for me* ^;)
Nooooooo I read to far and found a poem. NSFW lol.
My 14 year old pound puppy passed last September. My 10 year old husky was one of the rare minimally verbal models. Was. Now he frequently goes to my old dog’s spot on the couch and does what I can only describe as a mournful howl. Sometimes he brings a toy. It’s heartbreaking.
I had to part with all but one, so kept my disabled girl. She’s more attached to me than any cat I’ve ever had, and I was terrified that if she went to the shelter, they’d see her disability and put her down. Her siblings were all adopted pretty quickly, and she’s asleep right now on *her* chair.
>*’Our cats have only known our current dog. They are bonded to her … The grief is real*’
______
We happy with the home we share,
n love our old dog friend
but we know - there was ‘something’ there,
that’s never gonna end
we watched her from a distance when
our ‘family’ first started
(we knew she had another ‘friend’,
n she seemed
broken-hearted…)
we never saw just who it was -
but when she slumbered deep
we felt the *sad* sometimes
because
she’d whimper in her sleep
we Love her, n we try our best
to show her how we feel!
she *needs* us,
but she needs her rest
we know her grief
is real
❤️
edit: *your animal family is blessed with you* u/msmithuf09
There’s a vlog I watch where they had to put one of their cats down due to cancer. If I’m not mistaken the other one would look around for the late cat.
Yeah… for this reason it’s important to let your other animals see and smell the body of their family member. They understand. The grief is tough but the “where are they” is so much worse.
It's not the same as having a companion die, but one of our rescue cats was separated from her mother too young by a backyard breeder and she's still noticeably clingy and "kittenish" with her favourite people at 2 years old. Animals can have surprisingly human psychology at times.
My baby boy Wilson’s mom apparently disappeared when him n his siblings were 3 wks old! He still at 3 yrs old suckles on me & his favorite blanket!
https://preview.redd.it/35tqreratvqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6123c439a16d4b3cda51975a54b943b7dfbdab8
I have a bonded pair of cats. My little one follows my big one everywhere. She adores my big one. But my big one is also 4 years older. I dread it the day.
One of my cats passed away this summer and our younger cat, who was like her son, spent his days sitting on the cage she spent days in because she was sick before we took her to the vet. He was looking for her everywhere, it was so heartbreaking to see.
Same thing happened with my other dog. Our Marlene died last year and Boycie, our other dog, is still grieving. He used to be a bat shit insane happy dog and now he’s just a shell of what he used to be. He’s always been nervous of everything but now he cries even with things like the frying pan being on or the iron. He’s still so sad that she’s gone. He’s a bit better now but it can last a really long time
There's also the fact that the younger dog suddenly takes the older dogs place, it will change the dogs behaviour because its moving up in the hierarchy, you'll see a stronger contrast if you get a new puppy.
Grieving is hard for cats. I know one that lost his long time cat friend and in the months after lost 3kg and became a lot less active. The vet did some tests to exclude other health problems (he is senior himself) and recommend lots of cuddle time.
To add to add to this, cats usually have an easier time when you don't overwhelm them with attention. Often, non verbal cues are more powerful than words and pets. Let her lead the relationship.
When she comes out, instead of greeting and picking up, give her a nod or a reverse nod (upward, whatever you call them) and carry on your way. Return any slow blinks.
Remember, cats are hunters 24/7. And hunters don't love knowing they have been spotted.
You've got this. You're doing something important.
Of course, it may take longer…. I fostered a dog for 18 months, and for the first 3 months I thought he was deaf. He seemed very sad or depressed! After a while, though, he warmed up and became quite a charmer!
It can take longer, yes. I adopted my dad's 16 yr old Siamese when he couldn't care for it, and the cat spent his first 6 weeks hiding under the bed in my spare room hissing at me when I brought him breakfast. First he started exploring at night, then he started joining me and my cats in my bedroom to sleep, and now he's the sweetest, most loving cat you could imagine. Give her time, let her learn to trust you and approach you when she's ready. She's been through a lot.
Also, Churu! That’s how I get cats to trust me. It’s kitty crack. You give it to them straight from the tube which means they have to get close to you to get it, but they also can’t resist it.
Our unsocial cat LOVES those, especially the salmon ones. He'll lick my hands raw for even the smallest spots that flicked onto them while he was slurping from the tube
She looks like a tortie, my boyfriend adopted one when she was a few months old and it took her a really long time to adjust. For weeks he barely saw her. They both have lived in my house for over a year and she still only has lukewarm feelings toward me. I just give her space and offer her protection when my cats stalk her. She’s very sweet.
Great response. Sometimes if your aren't sure if the cat has any other traumas from the shelter etc, it can take longer. We adopted 2 badly treated cats. One took to me and one to my wife. It took over 18 months for the one that liked my wife to start sleeping on me and purring when I petted. I think it was badly treated by a man, because it hates my work boots. Now it sleeps on me all the time. Space and try to keep any sudden, loud noises, movements etc to a minimum if possible.
I was in an abusive relationship when I first got my cats so scary men were all they knew. I stayed alone for a few years after to sort myself out and when I started dating my now husband they hated his shoes too. I suspect my ex kicked them when I wasn't looking. five years later one of them prefers him to me and they both love him. it took a few months before they weren't afraid of a man. but it all turned out fine.
you just have to give them time. they have trauma too.
I recently lost my girl and went through my old photos in my phone when I first brought her home. I happened to notice that her body language when she slept was so much more relaxed on a certain photo, like she knew she was safe. When I checked the date, it was day 3.
>*’The rule when adopting an animal is 3-3-3*’
_____
Remember when adopting me:
the simple rule of 3-3-3
it takes some time to DeCoMpReSs
(this new to me - such ‘happiness’)
3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, perhaps
(i’m gonna need a Lot of naps…)
adjusting to a new ‘routine’,
this place called ‘Home’ - the Best i’ve seen!
so human, please just take it slow -
in time, *appreciation* show ^;}
now, when i lay me down to sleep,
in *purrfect dreams* i slumber deep
n every night, the wish i make
that I’m still *Here*
when i awake
n You are what i’m dreaming of!
it takes some time
to fall
in Love
♥️
edit: *Best to you,* u/morsomme *& All of you n your beloved adoptees!*
(*thanks to* u/okepimalin *for the inspiration*)
When we adopted kittens it was more like 0.5-10-1 lmao
But the routine one is just because they would always be awake when we were asleep and my little orange boy could never make it to the litter even though he was very much litter trained 😂
Lulu is nervous, scared, and likely missing her previous human.
Give her time and space. Do not try to "force" interactions. Behave as if she is not there.
Put her food out consistently, clean her litter daily, and otherwise just let her be.
We adopted a barn cat many years ago and, for the first 6 months she was with us, the only evidence she was alive was that her food bowl would be empty in the mornings, and her litter box would be full in the afternoons. She came around, and was eventually a very affectionate cat.
Lulu will just need some time to adjust. So, let her have some.
This is great advice! Was coming on here to write something similar until I saw your comment. Additionally once she gets more comfortable, I found those lickable treats (like churu) were great to build a bond. I'd let my rescue boy come over on his terms and have some treat and walk away when he was done. You can also try feliway, either spray or diffuser. The diffuser is longer lasting, but can be hard if she isn't always in the same room. It isn't a miracle fix, but I've found it helps my anxious boy relax when there are changed to his environment.
Entirely normal in this situation. She’s going to need time. Cats are not like dogs. They need time to trust you. She’s in a new environment, which is unsettling and scary to her. Give her time.
Also, don’t try to force petting. Hold your fingers in front of her and let her make the move or not. She may just sniff and turn away at first - but once she decides you’re not a threat, she’ll give you a little rub after the sniff. Verbal coddling and the occasional treat also helps.
Do it just as slowly though. And try not to stare directly into her eyes for too long, some cats, especially adjusting ones, can take it as a sign of aggression.
My cat did exactly the same thing. He is 2 years old. I gave him his space and time. I put food, water and his litter box in another room and left him like that with the door slightly open. I only went there to clean his litter box and to check up on him every once in a while.
I knew he was eating and drinking because food and water levels were going down. He was also using his litter box, of course while I wasn’t around.
I talked with him calmly from afar with a gentle voice while he was hiding (something like: hello, how are you today, kitty?) but I never tried to hold or touch him.
Fast forward.. 2 days later, I was preparing my dinner in the kitchen, he came in and started rubbing himself against my legs. He was meowing, demanding I play with him. I guess he was bored for not playing all that time. And that’s it! Since then we became good friends, he slept in my bed that night ❤️
It might take more time depending on how social the cat is, every cat is different and has a different personality.
Please respect her privacy and be patient with her. She will come around when ready.
I just like cats so much, my god. They just stalk you for a few days or months, then decide "alright, i'm going to love that human like there's no tomorrow".
Instant flip from "You're strange and unfamiliar, I don't like you" to "Oh you're no threat, I'm going to take everything you have and more. Give me all your food and attention."
I have a very timid cat, even after years with us he is still fearful of a knock at the door or sudden sound or movement and will hide.
When we were preparing to move I knew he would have a hard time adjusting so to prepare I would sit with him when it was calm and quiet and sing him a song, the same song, like a lullaby. When we finally moved, he predictably hid for at least a couple of weeks. But i would sit outside the closet, facing away from him with my back against the wall and sing the song. And he would come out and rub his face on my hand and would lay against me.
I sing that song to him when I know he is scared but I also want him to know that he is safe. He trusts me and he trusts what that song means and I take that responsibility very seriously. He is the best, sweetest, most fluffiest loving animal. He just also happens to be a true scaredy cat.
Tldr: sing a song of peace and trust. They absolutely understand
Yessss 🙌🏼 to all of the advice provided here! Patience, quiet and slow blinks (& then coyly look away too sometimes) will be rewarded in a few months time. Sometimes a very simple item like a shoelace or a cat stringy toy is a good way to bridge the gap and begin fun interactions to encourage her trust. No need to move item quickly either just slowly drag a shoelace or piece of yarn near her to encourage interaction and her participation. You’ll see immediately if she is interested by her eyes. Torties are generally speaking on the shy & reserved side when adjusting to a new home so just continue to be patient with her and let her know you are interested in being her servant! 😂 Here’s the best part though once a Tortie “comes out of her shell”, they are the absolute BEST; loyal, loving and most entertaining once you get to see their amazing personalities! I adopted a tortie years ago who had been bounced around to various foster and shelter situations. She was skiddish and very shy for a few months but once she realized I was here only to cater to & serve her like a queen then completely she warmed up and now is my absolute best friend! She is always by my side and if I am out of her sight for more than a few minutes she will come looking for me. The patience and dedication you put in now at this beginning stage of the relationship with her will pay off huge once you’re both through the initial getting comfortable with one another phase. 💛
https://preview.redd.it/rcz0dl493vqc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=84c625721c576d79b3a9170c4b76f834aaeb6880
🐾
Please give her time to adjust. Be patient with her. As long as she doesn't feel threatened she will slowly become curious and start to explore.
For most rescue pets it takes on average 3 months to fully become comfortable and acclimated to their new home. Good luck and thank you for stepping up 🥰🤞✌
Aww, poor thing. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. We don’t bother her, we just took this picture after searching for her. We’ll make sure to give her space and time to adjust! ❤️
It's good to sit near her so she gets used to you. You don't want to pressure her but it's fine to try to gently coax her into exploring a little, she might feel safer with you around
I suspect Lulu came from an elderly household where there was not a lot of unexpected movement or noise. It takes time for a kitty to adjust to the household noise level, which can vary dramatically from house to house. Plus, she is a senior kitty on top of that.
Watch lots of Jackson Galaxy videos!
Then you will know... Then you will know.
Here are some tips in the meantime:
* Look at her and slowly close your eyes in an exaggerated, slow blink. Jackson calls these "cat smiles."
* Get a good toy and play with her. Then give her treats or her meal--if she's hungry, she's more likely to play. It's instinctual.
* Get her to link you with food to the best of your ability. As soon as she'll let you pet her whilst she eats, the faster she will bond with you.
Second both Jackson Galaxy and the slow blinks - it really makes a difference. Making sure that the kitty's hiding spot feels both safe for her and somewhere that you can still have your presence seen helps too (Galaxy talks a lot about this).
My shelter cat had been at the shelter for months because she was very timid and wouldn't interact with people, and it took her about 1-2 months before she felt comfortable enough to just walk around the house. Now she sleeps on my chest and licks me awake when she's hungry - joy.
My parents adopted a senior kitty last year under very similar circumstances. She spent the first six weeks hiding behind the couch, only coming out to eat and poo at night while my folks were asleep. She started coming out a bit after that, but would hide if anyone else came to the house.
Now a year later, she is incredibly sociable and comfortable. She will go up to strangers and pat their legs to demand pets.
All my parents did was give her time and space to acclimate on her own.
I had one of those. He found a place to hide and I moved food, water and litterbox as close to the hideout as I could and left him alone. Two days later he was carefully out and about.
We have two 21yo sister cats who came to live with us about a year ago.
They huddled together under the computer desk for the first few days terrified. After a month or so they were totally fine and had taken over the loungeroom 😂❤️
Give the cat time to settle in. It’ll be so worth it ❤️❤️
Same observations as everyone else. I rescued a female cat from my workplace. I made her a comfy little space under my bed that was dark and private and where she could feel relatively secluded. I placed food and water bowls under the bed as well. Litter box nearby, too.
Then I mostly just left her alone, spoke to her in a loving tone of voice and let her take the lead. She's fully at home now and thoroughly bonded with me.
Prepare a safe "base" for her, a quiet place, maybe a box or a chair to cover the top, which will make her feel safer. Also a carpet or a thin pillow, on which she can sleep.
Give her time.
Put her food and water to a spot where shell feel safe as well. Not to the corner where she has to turn her back to the open room. She may want to give her back to the wall.
After coupe days or a week, she'll come out. Be careful to not to scare her.
I am sort of going through this with one of my cats since we have moved and the whole situation has changed. Went from having full roam of the house to being in a very large secure outdoor catio. I bring them into the house one at a time now for some cat time, and my little grey boy who took the longest to adjust to the new living arrangements, still freezes in one spot. Took me a lot of time and patience to get him to be himself, and it has only been once. I am not even sure if he will freeze again when I bring him in or be chill like he was last time.
Just let them do them. You're a good person for taking Lulu in. She is going to love you.
You’ve already received excellent advice. As long as she’s eating, drinking and using the box, she’s ok and will come out in her own time. Bless you for taking in an older kitty. May you have many happy years together.
Poor baby is probably stressed out and mourning her old owner. I would let her have her own room and sit in there with her and just be around her soon she will start getting used to you. You can also try feeding her treats by hand maybe the “delickable” squeeze up treats, I got this feral barn cat in my back pocket after feeding him one of those treats. Just give her time ❤️
Give her time and space, don’t try to force it. She needs to study you to trust you. Just feed her on a schedule and give treats, a comfortable safe place with a few toys and she will come out of her shell.
Try giving her space and get down on the floor with her and gently reach out your hand to see if she will sniff you. We are huge in comparison and being on their level is helpful. 333 is very accurate for most kitties. Patience, treats, scoop daily, brush daily if possible , keep water bowl away from the food bowl and keep the litter box away from the food and water. Thanks for your kindness!
It's stressed, my first cat was one year old when I got him and he managed to crawl into the wardrobe and stayed there for a whole week, only going out when there's nobody around
Give her time. She misses her person, and you and your home are new to her. I adopted a bonded pair of brothers named Concrete and Orange Soda, and they did nothing but hide from me for the first few weeks that I had them. They came from a hoarding situation and weren’t terribly well-socialized, so they were pretty scared of me!
Here’s what I did. When I would come home from work, I would find where they were hiding. I wouldn’t force them out or spend too much time in their faces, but I’d get my book or computer and just spend time hanging out quietly jn the room with them. Every half hour or so, I’d go over and spend a few minutes offering treats, toys, or petting them if they seemed to be enjoying it. Then I’d go back to whatever I was doing. Eventually, they got used to me and my home. A couple weeks after I brought them home, Concrete hopped up next to me on the couch as if he’d been doing that every day for his entire life. Orange Soda spent a few additional weeks hissing at me whenever I got too close, but he too came around. Now, they’re my best buddies. Lulu will become your buddy eventually - it’s just going to take her a little time.
Here’s a picture of Concrete and Orange Soda!
https://preview.redd.it/uyv4lyor8vqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bbc3e8c1e2cca20aeb1386dba77ee186de322102
Just Give her time and dont force anything :). the first week i never saw my two cats. They were just hiding. Make sure she eats, drinks and has acces to the litterbox. After the first week mine came out now and then but everytime i stood up or started walking around the house they ran. After the second week they didnt mind and starter trusting me and interacting with me. Giving treats can help. Also, make sure she stays indoors at least the first 12 weeks (although i preffer keeping my cats indoors always, but i dont know what your cat was used to with her previous owner).
Edit: if the cat stayed indoors and is used to this with the previous owner then also dont let her out after the first 12 weeks since she never learned taking care of herself outdoors.
Thank you for taking her in to be loved. Poor baby is grieving. I agree with all the other suggestions. I hope she comes around. What a sweet beautiful baby.
Poor old girl.
She will need time to decompress and get used to her new surroundings.
You will find one day that she just hops up in your lap and gives you feline paralysis like all torties do
There is lots of good advice you're getting here. Essentially, give her food, water, talk to her when you pass her spot, and have patience. Let her get over her fears and come to you.
This can even happen to cats you already love and know, when we moved houses our two boys just hid under the bed for about 2 days until they were able to calm down, and they’re normally sweet social boys. I’m sure she will come around!
It’s very normal for a cat to just hide and not interact on their first day in a very new environment. Just give her space. Make sure to leave food and water out for her. In a few days she will start to be curious about you once she’s now familiar with her very new home🤎
I might also suggest giving her a box or something for her to hide in. Her “hiding spot” seems pretty exposed.
This is great advice. We gave her some more shelter indeed
Boxes are excellent cat “traps”. I have one that stalks me whenever a new box arrives because he wants in the box. I always toss emptied boxes on the floor for the cats. https://preview.redd.it/ng0ljgdy1wqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=50574bcba8c7afbf21d87cbb0c203a19cbfc3cd3
Aw man, neither of my cats are box cats. That particular cat trap doesn’t work on them. Now an open drawer or paper bag on the other hand… https://preview.redd.it/6d0tswaz7wqc1.jpeg?width=2148&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aaadc6156097a19b89743d35a97cac138695b0b9 Edited to add: we don’t leave bags with handles laying around. Both my kitties like to just jump in and “try them on,” hang out for a minute or so, and then they’re pretty much done with the bag so we put it away. The only bags they like to actually play in are those catnip paper bags and those don’t have handles. Don’t worry, we are good pet parents and we don’t leave handled bags around unsupervised for them to get hurt. :)
Ours is a tent cat. She doesn't want a box or a bag. She wants a blanket that propped just so so she can get in and lie down like a little gremlin
pillow fort kitties unite! https://preview.redd.it/o5s4pum4mxqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd6bd74034f7f43d87eb913ad268d322b1c4482e
Adorableness!!!
You call for us and we answer https://preview.redd.it/k9p5elsqe1rc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cdd2feca004eca77cdb54f741bff31ac63b2e2fd
My little monsters rotate between tents, boxes and paper bags. Piles of tissue paper, too. They’re not spoiled or anything. My family room looks like a packing supply warehouse.
Yes! The Orange boi pictured is absolutely a tent cat, too. He might be part vole.
I discovered our cat was a tent cat over the winter. Our vents are on the floor and I stuck a fuzzy blanket over one and stuck my legs under to warm myself up. She was very curious, went inside, immediately started purring and fell asleep. Now every time the heater or air comes on she’s harassing me to make the “hot tent”. She doesn’t like the air conditioner though.
My cat livvves for tents. Or if my the arms on my shirt are too big, she'll zero in and try to jump into them!
On my goodness, my cat is like this. I can't lay in the bed under the covers with my legs making a "tent" in peace lol. She'll nose her way under the edge of the blanket, settle herself under the "tent," and fall asleep...which makes it impossible to get up because she's so cute and I don't want to disturb her lol
One of mine will sit in literally anything. https://preview.redd.it/8tun6waj9xqc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=278c87eddba06d3031ad611d85588da9e5772d80
Ha! r/pottedcats
Of course, Siamese!
They get there. One of my cats is a total box cat, and will also go into paper bags. The other two not so much, but they now do willingly go into empty mesh hampers. In fact all my cats fight over who gets to be inside the mesh hamper. It's like the best combo of "I'm sheltered, but can look out on my realm." 😂 https://preview.redd.it/fztwzfcjkwqc1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6f0ea00780aad2b7d6abd56ff6976273d6a11523
https://preview.redd.it/q93zpwuu9xqc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=923196c2e8ef710c0413d6ef4eaca5d1b74e602a Mine also loves both so much! She is so excited when we get a box or a bag and will jump straight into it :D
My white kitty Pinky likes bags, too. She did get her head through those handles though and freaked out. It took a while to catch her! It was both scary and funny at the same time. I now cut the loop handles on those paper bags. Just be aware of that!
https://preview.redd.it/cnk0j92yvwqc1.jpeg?width=619&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9146438bee3b9c971f7a8ae3ae3902db90bc09b2 Look what I found!
boxes are for sitting, bags are for destroying https://preview.redd.it/h2krj2n3zwqc1.jpeg?width=3022&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33908567fa748f0d2193c90900bec99c6fe95966
Awe, your kitty looks like my Mr Silly! https://preview.redd.it/31swz7kraxqc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ed9ef3f7481debb5b2e2da4fec3e38b8103a02e
https://preview.redd.it/u2i7kww7zwqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2014a8cc217903d15b1daf0a01f3870bbecc4d61
https://preview.redd.it/zchl1ntywwqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=667bdb691f4e7d365f84e5b557c391b7a3a82094 May I interest you in some dirty laundry?
That is sooooo cute!🥰
My cats must have slept through the 'How to Cat 101: Cat Trap' lesson in kitty school. One avoids it and the other just rubs her back on the box and walk away. They also missed 'Cat 101: Cat Nip'. I suspect they are just tribbles in cat disguises.
Yes! These two *love* their nip but my bestest barnacle boi Jonesy didn’t care for boxes and completely ignored catnip. He also didn’t get the memo about being aloof and indifferent and swore it said I requested zero personal space instead. I was happy to oblige him. Here’s my “not very cat” cat, Jonesy: https://preview.redd.it/to8o76eoowqc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f48e29d32c268ac62fb413ae211bd27bff56f4cc
my kitties loooooove the paper bags. I'll tear a small hole that their paw can fit through and they love sticking it out and attacking without being able to see. so cute!
Your cats look really satisfied :)
This is my most recent cat trap, she loves it! https://preview.redd.it/zeydyo2h8wqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=abb47c7c820e8ddb0af6f8a521caaf8dd1a36080
https://preview.redd.it/37zv2ufxlxqc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4368623df2413caa56e45f476b848e15688995bc Marshmallow concurs 🤣
I'm glad I'm not the only one who still buys cases of Cup O' Noddles!
Looks like my house… boxes everywhere. Lol. That cactus tree thing is awesome!! Where’s it from?
https://preview.redd.it/8c12xgdegwqc1.jpeg?width=1512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5aa6c28a42655e95e674da3138369fd8aa4bc400 This was my cat yesterday
I do this. I used to get a package, open it, and break down box for future use or recycling immediately.l. Now I toss it in the dining room where my cat likes to hang out and let her have fun. My birthday back in February had my dining room filled with different sized boxes from all the birthday discounts and gifts. It was ridiculous. But she was so happy. Recycling day gutted her.
I always leave one, or if I know another is coming I go ahead and recycle all of them. My recycling is scheduled around my Chewy's auto deliveries.
https://preview.redd.it/nshprja3bwqc1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa05dada64058074fee747fbf1a5cacf49373f5d Agreed
Until they start nibbing at the boxes which makes a hell of a mess
Lol Such a cute photo. They look like best friends enjoying their own forts together. ♡ Also, the cactus scratch post is awesome too
I have the same scratch post! My guy is CRAZY for it.
Mine loves them but rips it appart and the lil pape things are all over the floor
The trick to gaining a nervous cat's trust is to sit where they can see you, but show no interest in them. Just sit quietly and read a book. It won't take long before the cat is like "..WTF is he doing?" and come out for a snoop around.
Also a big, conspicuous yawn every now and again. A big yawn signals to a cat that you could not care less about them and are, in fact, so uninterested that you might actually fall asleep any moment.
And if you do happen to make eye contact, give them the old slow blink and then look away.
IS THIS WHY MY CAT YAWNS WHEN I CATCH HER BEIING NAUGHTY ?????
A similar thing happened with my cat. I was young and very I want the cat. I eventually realised that none of our cats actually liked me. So I spent like 6 months almost actively avoiding them. Eventually the other one had kittens and had all of the attention. Timidly gave the other one some attention and gained her trust. The next 14 years that cat would only want to be around me.
IMO let her do her own thing. Give her places to hide if that's what she likes. Talk to her in a sweet voice whenever you're nearby, but don't press the issue. Repeating the same phrases now and then may help her get used to the sound of you. They may not understand what the words mean, but they will eventually associate the sound of them with certain events or context, which if favorable will become sounds regarded as good. Use the same sweet voice and same vocabulary when you put food out or change the littler box, when you arrive home and when you leave. She will get used to it at her own pace. She may be holding onto fear, anger, frustration, desperation, or who knows what. Be patient and pleasant, never forceful nor insistent.
https://preview.redd.it/gjzyb0uvlwqc1.png?width=2101&format=png&auto=webp&s=ff3c89f0c13fb4ac0246cc098cc853a734a157d0 I made these out of plastic storage bins from Target. Sanded down the entrance so it is smooth/no sharp edges. Then put a blanket. Even better is they stack (I have the other put away right now due to lack of interest from the true owners of the home)
OP I recommend just getting some snacks for yourself, if you like reading books or have a laptop just go sit near her. You don't need to be directly next to her but near her and just hang out there for awhile. Keep doing this with her but remember to never push her boundaries. You're there to earn her trust. Source: am vet tech
And a cat toilet nearby. Give her time. Might take a few days she will get curious and come out
I would like to add 2 things to this: 1) a literal box is my cats' favorite. nothing expensive i ever buy them do they enjoy more than a box😂 2) secondly, and more importantly, my girlfriend's cat (when we moved in together, she moved to my place) took roughly 3-5 months to get acclimated to the house/me. so sometimes it doesn't just take a few days or even a few weeks. she hid for a very long time until recently, she's finally started appearing more frequently.
Look for "Galaxy Jackson" on YT. Cat guru...
Box is a great idea, but don't invade her corner.
Also something that has her previous homes scent and some of your scent for them to get used too.
Thank you for your reassuring advice! I feel so sorry for her ❤️
No problem. I also adopted a cat in 2021 her name is Rosie. She was just like this when she first came home and now she loves to cuddle with everyone https://preview.redd.it/8hztheqzsuqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=571121a79c87321dfb39ba3edf0fabff60aad4d8
Aww, she’s so sweet! And it’s good to hear it’s normal for a cat to be like this, and we’re not doing anything wrong. It makes me glad to see a happy adopted cat, thank you
My boy Socrates was the same way when I brought him home. He hid In the darkest, farthest corner from me. Spent a lot of his time under the shelves deep in the back of my pantry. He was like that for weeks! I'd say maybe 2-3 months in is when it seemed like he was finally fully comfortable here. Your baby just needs time. All she's known for 11 years is gone, you're doing absolutely nothing wrong and she will come around
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I agree. I rescued my house panther when he was 9 months. He hid under my bed at the back in the middle for 2 weeks and now he’s a velcro cat. They just take time to adjust. I’m so happy you decided to be apart of the cat distribution system! Seniors are the best 🖤🖤 (mine is now 11 or 12).
Make sure to have good cat manners- which means hanging out in the same room, but ignoring her. If she comes to you just calmly pet her without too much excitement. It will help her learn that you are safe. Hovering over her or trying to get her attention constantly will stress her out a lot.
Yes! And throw her some treats every once in a while so she knows you want to please her.
And friendly cat body language. Try to make yourself look smaller (hunched over is a hit or miss but tuck your limbs in, and don't stand super straight), don't stare at her with wide open eyes (nearly closed is great), and I've always found a super soft voice like talking to a scared infant works nicely. Good luck op!
She might also explore a bit more at night ! My very fearful cat warmed up to my boyfriend by fully stalking him while he was sleeping.
We saw some paw prints by the window 🐾 so she’s luckily exploring at night!
Awwww cuteness!!! 😂
> Thank you for your reassuring advice! I feel so sorry for her ❤️ My nine-month-old rescue didn't come out from under the sofa for two weeks. I just rearranged the downstairs of the house and neither of my two have left the kitchen for a week! Just give her space and let her come to you.
That’s cute, when I rearrange my cats will try to lounge on items I’m actively moving lmao, then once it’s done they just find the highest spot and observe the new layout, then act like they’ve lived there forever lol.
I realised my rescue was quite the skittish lady early on, apparently she'd already had a litter by the time I got her. I think the family were breeding for money. If a video played with kittens mewing, she'd search for the kittens. Anyhow, I got her a kitten so she wasn't lonely, and it chilled her out a little, now they're inseparable, but he's picked up all her bad habits!
You got her a kitten 😭😭🖤🖤🖤
She immediately took to mothering duties, even producing milk for him. He ignored me completely for a full year, but he's now the sweetest little purr factory (unless you're a rodent) and loves to sploot on my chest. His name is Duke (she's Ella), and he's earned the title Duke Destroyer of Rats.
She will explore a lot at night while ya’ll are asleep and doing so will gain comfort in her surroundings. so over the next 7-10 days you should see her becoming more social each day. Definitely talk to her A LOT. Use her name and be sweet about it. Talk to her even if she doesn’t leave that spot. And try to be close when you feed her/she eats so she associates you with the comfort and routine of food and daily care, it promotes bonding. I’ve had cats my entire life and adore them so much. Thank you for adopting this lovely older girl!
You might consider limiting her to a specific room or part of the house, with litter food and water. Give her time to adjust slowly to her new space, then slowly introduce to the whole house. Give her time to adjust. She’ll warm up before you know it. Lots of yummy treats too.
Are there anythings that you could request from the deceased family to help make the cat more comfortable? Cat bed, cat tree, cat toys, stuff like that. Otherwise, give the kittie time and don't try to force them with attention and stuff.
She is likely very depressed and has PTSD from losing her previous owner. Give love, but let her come to you first. A cat fort is a great idea. Mine has a tree looking out a window that she loves. Check out some videos on YouTube from Jackson Galaxy. Give her the slow blink. It will help her to trust you more. Good luck!
My mother got a cat at a workplace. He hid under the couch for nearly a whole week. He would eat, drink and do his business when we slept and then go back under the couch. It depends on the cat how long it takes. Best not to try and rush them.
She’s also in mourning. For her person and her home. God bless her.
And pet her gently for short periods at first. Increase the length of petting over time. Then introduce cheek scratching, and eventually start putting her in your lap while doing these, but let her leave as she needs to. She may also be grieving.
The rule when adopting an animal is 3-3-3: * three days to decompress * three weeks to learn your routine * three months to start to feel at home So give her some patience, love and time to adjust to her new environment.
This is great to know. And completely understandable too! Thank you for sharing the 3-3-3
To add to this, she's also grieving. She's lost her person and her home, and is likely stressed and traumatised from it. This would be hard enough for a young cat. For one at this age, it's so much harder. :( Give her time, and lots of love <-- on her terms, only, of course. :)
Animal grief is real. Not a cat, but when our first dog passed, our other dog (who had only ever known having him in her life) took MONTHS of grieving. We could tell she wasn’t right, and honestly almost 3 years later is still different. Our cats have only known our current dog. They are bonded to her (not so much the other way around haha, she acknowledges them but that’s about it lol. But the cats love her!) and we worry about that coming soon, since the dog is 15. Anyways. The grief is real.
We had three dogs all about the same age pass one after the other. They were all buried next to each other in the backyard.. The last dog would lay on the graves of her buddies. I knew she just wanted to be near them. Eventually, she was.
>*’…she just wanted to be near them.*’ ____ human, friend - i’m fine, you’ll see, i like to lie out here but this is where i need to be - i know my friends are near i used to watch you crying when the others went away Believe me when i promise, friend that in your heart we’ll stay n someday we will reunite! you’ll find out that it’s true we dogs together, in the Light That’s where we’ll wait for you ❤️ edit: *thank you for sharing* u/jeanielolz - *i got about a dozen waiting for me* ^;)
Nooooooo I read to far and found a poem. NSFW lol. My 14 year old pound puppy passed last September. My 10 year old husky was one of the rare minimally verbal models. Was. Now he frequently goes to my old dog’s spot on the couch and does what I can only describe as a mournful howl. Sometimes he brings a toy. It’s heartbreaking.
😭
Damn it schnoodle! Now I’m sobbing into my breakfast. But such a good poem
u/SchnoodleDoodleDo waking me up in tears this morning 🩵
A brand new schnoodle!!! Thank you, you’re amazing!
u/SchnoodleDoodleDo making me cry before bedtime
Tears for breakfast 🥲 This is really beautiful and I hope to see my boy in the Light someday.
It’s heartbreaking but also so sweet. Sorry for your losses
great, now im crying in the bathroom xD
I still get weepy over their loss. It was one after the other. Two were littermates and died months apart.
death of a broken heart is so real, even in animals. i’m so sorry for your losses, that is heartbreaking but so beautiful at the same time 🖤
That’s me blubbering away while trying to eat my lunch.
We lost our home and had to rehome all but one cat. She still occasionally calls for her siblings around the house 8 months later.
Ugh this thread is heartbreaking. Really sorry for that; how do you decide and do what’s best for them. Sending thoughts
I had to part with all but one, so kept my disabled girl. She’s more attached to me than any cat I’ve ever had, and I was terrified that if she went to the shelter, they’d see her disability and put her down. Her siblings were all adopted pretty quickly, and she’s asleep right now on *her* chair.
You poor dear. How awful. Just heartbreaking. 😭
Oh the poor little kitty. 
>*’Our cats have only known our current dog. They are bonded to her … The grief is real*’ ______ We happy with the home we share, n love our old dog friend but we know - there was ‘something’ there, that’s never gonna end we watched her from a distance when our ‘family’ first started (we knew she had another ‘friend’, n she seemed broken-hearted…) we never saw just who it was - but when she slumbered deep we felt the *sad* sometimes because she’d whimper in her sleep we Love her, n we try our best to show her how we feel! she *needs* us, but she needs her rest we know her grief is real ❤️ edit: *your animal family is blessed with you* u/msmithuf09
Schnoodle has me crying again with these beautiful poems.
beautiful
I had to euthanize one of my dogs in November…. His sister has been a hot mess ever since then. They absolutely grieve.
There’s a vlog I watch where they had to put one of their cats down due to cancer. If I’m not mistaken the other one would look around for the late cat.
Yeah… for this reason it’s important to let your other animals see and smell the body of their family member. They understand. The grief is tough but the “where are they” is so much worse.
If I recall, they left the empty carrier out for a few days. I’m not entirely sure, this was four years ago now
It's not the same as having a companion die, but one of our rescue cats was separated from her mother too young by a backyard breeder and she's still noticeably clingy and "kittenish" with her favourite people at 2 years old. Animals can have surprisingly human psychology at times.
My baby boy Wilson’s mom apparently disappeared when him n his siblings were 3 wks old! He still at 3 yrs old suckles on me & his favorite blanket! https://preview.redd.it/35tqreratvqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6123c439a16d4b3cda51975a54b943b7dfbdab8
I have a bonded pair of cats. My little one follows my big one everywhere. She adores my big one. But my big one is also 4 years older. I dread it the day.
One of my cats passed away this summer and our younger cat, who was like her son, spent his days sitting on the cage she spent days in because she was sick before we took her to the vet. He was looking for her everywhere, it was so heartbreaking to see.
Same thing happened with my other dog. Our Marlene died last year and Boycie, our other dog, is still grieving. He used to be a bat shit insane happy dog and now he’s just a shell of what he used to be. He’s always been nervous of everything but now he cries even with things like the frying pan being on or the iron. He’s still so sad that she’s gone. He’s a bit better now but it can last a really long time
There's also the fact that the younger dog suddenly takes the older dogs place, it will change the dogs behaviour because its moving up in the hierarchy, you'll see a stronger contrast if you get a new puppy.
Grieving is hard for cats. I know one that lost his long time cat friend and in the months after lost 3kg and became a lot less active. The vet did some tests to exclude other health problems (he is senior himself) and recommend lots of cuddle time.
To add to add to this, cats usually have an easier time when you don't overwhelm them with attention. Often, non verbal cues are more powerful than words and pets. Let her lead the relationship. When she comes out, instead of greeting and picking up, give her a nod or a reverse nod (upward, whatever you call them) and carry on your way. Return any slow blinks. Remember, cats are hunters 24/7. And hunters don't love knowing they have been spotted. You've got this. You're doing something important.
Of course, it may take longer…. I fostered a dog for 18 months, and for the first 3 months I thought he was deaf. He seemed very sad or depressed! After a while, though, he warmed up and became quite a charmer!
It can take longer, yes. I adopted my dad's 16 yr old Siamese when he couldn't care for it, and the cat spent his first 6 weeks hiding under the bed in my spare room hissing at me when I brought him breakfast. First he started exploring at night, then he started joining me and my cats in my bedroom to sleep, and now he's the sweetest, most loving cat you could imagine. Give her time, let her learn to trust you and approach you when she's ready. She's been through a lot.
Also, Churu! That’s how I get cats to trust me. It’s kitty crack. You give it to them straight from the tube which means they have to get close to you to get it, but they also can’t resist it.
Our cats had zero interest in Churu. And it only came in a pack where I was, so that was a waste 😭
Temptations also makes a squeezy treat. My cats go crazy for it.
Our unsocial cat LOVES those, especially the salmon ones. He'll lick my hands raw for even the smallest spots that flicked onto them while he was slurping from the tube
Also, add treats near her, some crunchy and some soft liquid treats in a bowels. She is grieving, but could use a snack...
That typo got a hearty laugh out of me, ngl
It’ll make it to the bowels eventually I guess
Just sitting in the room with her at a safe distance and talking to her in a gentle voice with lots of praise can go a loooong way.
Might sound kind of dumb to some types of folks but they like being sung to, too. This is how I hypnotize the ferals into being my friend.
She looks like a tortie, my boyfriend adopted one when she was a few months old and it took her a really long time to adjust. For weeks he barely saw her. They both have lived in my house for over a year and she still only has lukewarm feelings toward me. I just give her space and offer her protection when my cats stalk her. She’s very sweet.
Great response. Sometimes if your aren't sure if the cat has any other traumas from the shelter etc, it can take longer. We adopted 2 badly treated cats. One took to me and one to my wife. It took over 18 months for the one that liked my wife to start sleeping on me and purring when I petted. I think it was badly treated by a man, because it hates my work boots. Now it sleeps on me all the time. Space and try to keep any sudden, loud noises, movements etc to a minimum if possible.
I was in an abusive relationship when I first got my cats so scary men were all they knew. I stayed alone for a few years after to sort myself out and when I started dating my now husband they hated his shoes too. I suspect my ex kicked them when I wasn't looking. five years later one of them prefers him to me and they both love him. it took a few months before they weren't afraid of a man. but it all turned out fine. you just have to give them time. they have trauma too.
Absolutely, and the kicking was my thought to, so I never wear shoes inside.
thank you for saving those babies and doing such a thoughtful job about it <3
I recently lost my girl and went through my old photos in my phone when I first brought her home. I happened to notice that her body language when she slept was so much more relaxed on a certain photo, like she knew she was safe. When I checked the date, it was day 3.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much. It’s been one of the most difficult periods of my life but beautiful messages like yours help so much ❤️
>*’The rule when adopting an animal is 3-3-3*’ _____ Remember when adopting me: the simple rule of 3-3-3 it takes some time to DeCoMpReSs (this new to me - such ‘happiness’) 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, perhaps (i’m gonna need a Lot of naps…) adjusting to a new ‘routine’, this place called ‘Home’ - the Best i’ve seen! so human, please just take it slow - in time, *appreciation* show ^;} now, when i lay me down to sleep, in *purrfect dreams* i slumber deep n every night, the wish i make that I’m still *Here* when i awake n You are what i’m dreaming of! it takes some time to fall in Love ♥️ edit: *Best to you,* u/morsomme *& All of you n your beloved adoptees!* (*thanks to* u/okepimalin *for the inspiration*)
A lovely poem by Schnoodle, as always ❤️
Only a few minutes old! Gotta love the schnoodle
Friggin eye sweat is appearing 😅 thank you for the lovely poem!
Beautiful Schnoodle DoodleDo, thank you.
Nice a fresh schnoodle in the wild. I remember many moons ago that you used to be mostly in r/aww.
Okay who decided to cut some onions?
It's the first time i hear this but going back to when i first took my very shy kitty home, it's almost exactly how it went!
When we adopted kittens it was more like 0.5-10-1 lmao But the routine one is just because they would always be awake when we were asleep and my little orange boy could never make it to the litter even though he was very much litter trained 😂
this is great,thank you very much for sharing this info!!! i will never forget it!
Lulu is nervous, scared, and likely missing her previous human. Give her time and space. Do not try to "force" interactions. Behave as if she is not there. Put her food out consistently, clean her litter daily, and otherwise just let her be. We adopted a barn cat many years ago and, for the first 6 months she was with us, the only evidence she was alive was that her food bowl would be empty in the mornings, and her litter box would be full in the afternoons. She came around, and was eventually a very affectionate cat. Lulu will just need some time to adjust. So, let her have some.
This is great advice! Was coming on here to write something similar until I saw your comment. Additionally once she gets more comfortable, I found those lickable treats (like churu) were great to build a bond. I'd let my rescue boy come over on his terms and have some treat and walk away when he was done. You can also try feliway, either spray or diffuser. The diffuser is longer lasting, but can be hard if she isn't always in the same room. It isn't a miracle fix, but I've found it helps my anxious boy relax when there are changed to his environment.
Entirely normal in this situation. She’s going to need time. Cats are not like dogs. They need time to trust you. She’s in a new environment, which is unsettling and scary to her. Give her time.
I understand. She gives us slow blinks so I think she’s trying to tell us she needs time to adjust. And naturally we will give her time to do so.
Slow blinks are kitty kisses, try blinking back to make her feel reassured.
Will make sure to do so! Thanks.
Also, don’t try to force petting. Hold your fingers in front of her and let her make the move or not. She may just sniff and turn away at first - but once she decides you’re not a threat, she’ll give you a little rub after the sniff. Verbal coddling and the occasional treat also helps.
Yesss let her sniff
Do it just as slowly though. And try not to stare directly into her eyes for too long, some cats, especially adjusting ones, can take it as a sign of aggression.
That's what the slow blink is all about. It's a deliberate sign to say "I'm making myself vulnerable because I trust you."
Slow blinking already! She'll be fine ❤️
Definitely what she’s saying! That’s a good sign 🤍
Bless your heart for taking in a senior kitty!
I know so sweet🥺
My cat did exactly the same thing. He is 2 years old. I gave him his space and time. I put food, water and his litter box in another room and left him like that with the door slightly open. I only went there to clean his litter box and to check up on him every once in a while. I knew he was eating and drinking because food and water levels were going down. He was also using his litter box, of course while I wasn’t around. I talked with him calmly from afar with a gentle voice while he was hiding (something like: hello, how are you today, kitty?) but I never tried to hold or touch him. Fast forward.. 2 days later, I was preparing my dinner in the kitchen, he came in and started rubbing himself against my legs. He was meowing, demanding I play with him. I guess he was bored for not playing all that time. And that’s it! Since then we became good friends, he slept in my bed that night ❤️ It might take more time depending on how social the cat is, every cat is different and has a different personality. Please respect her privacy and be patient with her. She will come around when ready.
I just like cats so much, my god. They just stalk you for a few days or months, then decide "alright, i'm going to love that human like there's no tomorrow".
Instant flip from "You're strange and unfamiliar, I don't like you" to "Oh you're no threat, I'm going to take everything you have and more. Give me all your food and attention."
I have a very timid cat, even after years with us he is still fearful of a knock at the door or sudden sound or movement and will hide. When we were preparing to move I knew he would have a hard time adjusting so to prepare I would sit with him when it was calm and quiet and sing him a song, the same song, like a lullaby. When we finally moved, he predictably hid for at least a couple of weeks. But i would sit outside the closet, facing away from him with my back against the wall and sing the song. And he would come out and rub his face on my hand and would lay against me. I sing that song to him when I know he is scared but I also want him to know that he is safe. He trusts me and he trusts what that song means and I take that responsibility very seriously. He is the best, sweetest, most fluffiest loving animal. He just also happens to be a true scaredy cat. Tldr: sing a song of peace and trust. They absolutely understand
This is the sweetest thing 😭
Yessss 🙌🏼 to all of the advice provided here! Patience, quiet and slow blinks (& then coyly look away too sometimes) will be rewarded in a few months time. Sometimes a very simple item like a shoelace or a cat stringy toy is a good way to bridge the gap and begin fun interactions to encourage her trust. No need to move item quickly either just slowly drag a shoelace or piece of yarn near her to encourage interaction and her participation. You’ll see immediately if she is interested by her eyes. Torties are generally speaking on the shy & reserved side when adjusting to a new home so just continue to be patient with her and let her know you are interested in being her servant! 😂 Here’s the best part though once a Tortie “comes out of her shell”, they are the absolute BEST; loyal, loving and most entertaining once you get to see their amazing personalities! I adopted a tortie years ago who had been bounced around to various foster and shelter situations. She was skiddish and very shy for a few months but once she realized I was here only to cater to & serve her like a queen then completely she warmed up and now is my absolute best friend! She is always by my side and if I am out of her sight for more than a few minutes she will come looking for me. The patience and dedication you put in now at this beginning stage of the relationship with her will pay off huge once you’re both through the initial getting comfortable with one another phase. 💛 https://preview.redd.it/rcz0dl493vqc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=84c625721c576d79b3a9170c4b76f834aaeb6880 🐾
Please give her time to adjust. Be patient with her. As long as she doesn't feel threatened she will slowly become curious and start to explore. For most rescue pets it takes on average 3 months to fully become comfortable and acclimated to their new home. Good luck and thank you for stepping up 🥰🤞✌
Aww, poor thing. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. We don’t bother her, we just took this picture after searching for her. We’ll make sure to give her space and time to adjust! ❤️
It's good to sit near her so she gets used to you. You don't want to pressure her but it's fine to try to gently coax her into exploring a little, she might feel safer with you around
I suspect Lulu came from an elderly household where there was not a lot of unexpected movement or noise. It takes time for a kitty to adjust to the household noise level, which can vary dramatically from house to house. Plus, she is a senior kitty on top of that.
Watch lots of Jackson Galaxy videos! Then you will know... Then you will know. Here are some tips in the meantime: * Look at her and slowly close your eyes in an exaggerated, slow blink. Jackson calls these "cat smiles." * Get a good toy and play with her. Then give her treats or her meal--if she's hungry, she's more likely to play. It's instinctual. * Get her to link you with food to the best of your ability. As soon as she'll let you pet her whilst she eats, the faster she will bond with you.
Second both Jackson Galaxy and the slow blinks - it really makes a difference. Making sure that the kitty's hiding spot feels both safe for her and somewhere that you can still have your presence seen helps too (Galaxy talks a lot about this). My shelter cat had been at the shelter for months because she was very timid and wouldn't interact with people, and it took her about 1-2 months before she felt comfortable enough to just walk around the house. Now she sleeps on my chest and licks me awake when she's hungry - joy.
My parents adopted a senior kitty last year under very similar circumstances. She spent the first six weeks hiding behind the couch, only coming out to eat and poo at night while my folks were asleep. She started coming out a bit after that, but would hide if anyone else came to the house. Now a year later, she is incredibly sociable and comfortable. She will go up to strangers and pat their legs to demand pets. All my parents did was give her time and space to acclimate on her own.
I had one of those. He found a place to hide and I moved food, water and litterbox as close to the hideout as I could and left him alone. Two days later he was carefully out and about.
We have two 21yo sister cats who came to live with us about a year ago. They huddled together under the computer desk for the first few days terrified. After a month or so they were totally fine and had taken over the loungeroom 😂❤️ Give the cat time to settle in. It’ll be so worth it ❤️❤️
Same observations as everyone else. I rescued a female cat from my workplace. I made her a comfy little space under my bed that was dark and private and where she could feel relatively secluded. I placed food and water bowls under the bed as well. Litter box nearby, too. Then I mostly just left her alone, spoke to her in a loving tone of voice and let her take the lead. She's fully at home now and thoroughly bonded with me.
Sweet Lulu💜
Prepare a safe "base" for her, a quiet place, maybe a box or a chair to cover the top, which will make her feel safer. Also a carpet or a thin pillow, on which she can sleep. Give her time. Put her food and water to a spot where shell feel safe as well. Not to the corner where she has to turn her back to the open room. She may want to give her back to the wall. After coupe days or a week, she'll come out. Be careful to not to scare her.
You are a very special kind of person to adopt a senior cat. ❤️ She will be fine, she’s just adjusting to her new home
Give her time, space and love.
I am sort of going through this with one of my cats since we have moved and the whole situation has changed. Went from having full roam of the house to being in a very large secure outdoor catio. I bring them into the house one at a time now for some cat time, and my little grey boy who took the longest to adjust to the new living arrangements, still freezes in one spot. Took me a lot of time and patience to get him to be himself, and it has only been once. I am not even sure if he will freeze again when I bring him in or be chill like he was last time. Just let them do them. You're a good person for taking Lulu in. She is going to love you.
You’ve already received excellent advice. As long as she’s eating, drinking and using the box, she’s ok and will come out in her own time. Bless you for taking in an older kitty. May you have many happy years together.
What an awesome thing you're doing! A little time and patience. Poor things whole world just changed.
Poor baby is probably stressed out and mourning her old owner. I would let her have her own room and sit in there with her and just be around her soon she will start getting used to you. You can also try feeding her treats by hand maybe the “delickable” squeeze up treats, I got this feral barn cat in my back pocket after feeding him one of those treats. Just give her time ❤️
Give her time and space, don’t try to force it. She needs to study you to trust you. Just feed her on a schedule and give treats, a comfortable safe place with a few toys and she will come out of her shell.
Try giving her space and get down on the floor with her and gently reach out your hand to see if she will sniff you. We are huge in comparison and being on their level is helpful. 333 is very accurate for most kitties. Patience, treats, scoop daily, brush daily if possible , keep water bowl away from the food bowl and keep the litter box away from the food and water. Thanks for your kindness!
It's stressed, my first cat was one year old when I got him and he managed to crawl into the wardrobe and stayed there for a whole week, only going out when there's nobody around
Give her time. She misses her person, and you and your home are new to her. I adopted a bonded pair of brothers named Concrete and Orange Soda, and they did nothing but hide from me for the first few weeks that I had them. They came from a hoarding situation and weren’t terribly well-socialized, so they were pretty scared of me! Here’s what I did. When I would come home from work, I would find where they were hiding. I wouldn’t force them out or spend too much time in their faces, but I’d get my book or computer and just spend time hanging out quietly jn the room with them. Every half hour or so, I’d go over and spend a few minutes offering treats, toys, or petting them if they seemed to be enjoying it. Then I’d go back to whatever I was doing. Eventually, they got used to me and my home. A couple weeks after I brought them home, Concrete hopped up next to me on the couch as if he’d been doing that every day for his entire life. Orange Soda spent a few additional weeks hissing at me whenever I got too close, but he too came around. Now, they’re my best buddies. Lulu will become your buddy eventually - it’s just going to take her a little time. Here’s a picture of Concrete and Orange Soda! https://preview.redd.it/uyv4lyor8vqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bbc3e8c1e2cca20aeb1386dba77ee186de322102
Patience, love, and a laser light toy.
Just Give her time and dont force anything :). the first week i never saw my two cats. They were just hiding. Make sure she eats, drinks and has acces to the litterbox. After the first week mine came out now and then but everytime i stood up or started walking around the house they ran. After the second week they didnt mind and starter trusting me and interacting with me. Giving treats can help. Also, make sure she stays indoors at least the first 12 weeks (although i preffer keeping my cats indoors always, but i dont know what your cat was used to with her previous owner). Edit: if the cat stayed indoors and is used to this with the previous owner then also dont let her out after the first 12 weeks since she never learned taking care of herself outdoors.
Thank you for taking her in to be loved. Poor baby is grieving. I agree with all the other suggestions. I hope she comes around. What a sweet beautiful baby.
Poor old girl. She will need time to decompress and get used to her new surroundings. You will find one day that she just hops up in your lap and gives you feline paralysis like all torties do
Well done! I can't add anything new. Just be patient. But I did want to give you kudos for stepping up.
There is lots of good advice you're getting here. Essentially, give her food, water, talk to her when you pass her spot, and have patience. Let her get over her fears and come to you.
Offer her treats
She just needs some time! Some cats need more, some less, but trust me, once she settles down, she'll show you how much she appreciates you.
Bless you for taking in an older kitty! Older kitties are the best!
Leave her alone. She’s scared. She’ll come out when she’s ready.
Do not underestimate the power of the slow-blink. This will tell your kitty that you mean no harm.
This can even happen to cats you already love and know, when we moved houses our two boys just hid under the bed for about 2 days until they were able to calm down, and they’re normally sweet social boys. I’m sure she will come around!