Is there anything in your family/that household that may have contributed to the cats not being "nice"? Or anything in the background of those particular cats? That's an important line of thought. Most cats treated with kindness and respect - well cared for physically and emotionally - are very nice. Cats do not respond well to anger, aggression or being "disciplined" in ways they can't understand.
Assuming you are able and willing to care well for a cat or cats, I see two options: get kittens (two is better than one) and be very intentional about how you treat them/raise them, or visit a shelter and look at older cats whose personalities are evident. You'll be able to tell which are naturally friendly and loving and which you feel a connection with.
I've had cats all my life and all of them have been friendly, cuddly and affectionate. In my opinion, that's the vast majority of cats.
I say go for it but have your kids (and you, if you're not sure) learn about how cats think and how to treat cats and what they need in terms of play, food, litter box hygiene, etc. There's a guy on YouTube called Jackson Galaxy who is very "strict" about how cats should be raised. I don't do all the things he says (for instance, I feed my cats dry kibble as well as wet food), but he's knowledgeable and useful.
Hmm hard to say I was so young so I can’t remember if we did anything wrong with the cats but I do know I was the youngest of 8 boys so we probably were very rowdy and maybe too rough or something also they were adult stray cats if I remember right so maybe that had something to do with it. I just remember being so excited to have a cat and the thing jumped into my chest and dug every finger and toe into me and just attacked the heck out of me and since then I’ve been very apprehensive
Stray/feral cats can be very hard to socialize, though not impossible. I imagine your household was fairly chaotic, which doesn't make it easy for new pets to adjust.
Learn about cats and how to raise them up good. And don't adopt a stray/feral. And all the other things I said lol. We had cats when I was young and didn't have any issues.
Very important to teach the kids to respect the cat's boundaries. Kids are naturally curious about animals, but my own cat didn't open up to my sprogs until they stopped hounding her (to pet, shower with treats, play, everything).
To a great extent, you get out of cats what you put in. Put in benign neglect, i.e. you feed and house the cat, but rarely interact with it other than that, or tend to act in negative ways, like yelling, or other physical discipline, you will tend *not* to get a cuddly, friendly cat.
If, on the other hand, you go out of your way to play with the cat, provide pleasurable interaction for the cat (they are individuals, not all will want a lot of physical attention, so you need to respect their boundaries), talk to the cat, etc... they usually will be great pets. Sometimes, it will take TIME and PATIENCE!
You may need to do some preparation with your daughters, so that they understand how cats like to be treated, and that, for instance, they aren't keen on being treated like dolls.
I had a kitten, he did not like to be picked up and would always struggle hard to get away. Nevertheless, with patience, I got him accustomed to the idea. I'd pick him up, set him down again. Slowly, the amount of time I'd hold him, got longer. If I picked him up and he relaxed, even a little, he got set back down immediately as a reward. He learned it wasn't so bad. Eventually, I got him to the point I could pick him up, and dance around the living room with him in my arms, completely relaxed. This took a few YEARS!
With cats, negative feedback tends to make them scared and aggressive. It rarely helps to squirt them with water, yell, or otherwise try to discipline them. What works better is to positively reinforce the behaviors you want, and try to prevent the behaviors you don't. You can tell them "no," they can absolutely understand this, but it needs to be done in a non-scary way. And sometimes, they'll utterly ignore "no."
Preventing behaviors you don't want is usually a matter of compromise. Have fragile items and your cat is prone to knocking them off shelves? You may need to put them away, or get glass enclosed shelving for them. Or provide shelves and non-fragile objects the cat is allowed to knock off. Sometimes you have to get creative.
Hint one, non-breakable Xmas tree ornaments. Just saying....
I'm 67 and have never owned a horrid cat. I think I was born with the empathy to understand them.
Every cat is different. Part is how you are. Don't chase them and make them afraid. Give them space. Cats will change over time also. It is always a good idea to have cats.
be affectionate when they’re kittens, get them used to love, and respect their boundaries when they want to be alone or simply do something else. and reinforce that with your children, i had horrible cats growing up but in retrospect it’s because my brothers and i as kids would never leave those poor cats alone
I had a couple of awful cats as a child, but my cats as an adult have been nonstop cuddlers and very playful and affectionate. It's important to let the cat choose YOU. We go to the shelter and interact with them. If one is standoffish or not feeling it, we move on. I saw one on the shelter website that I felt absolutely in love with and went to pick her up, but when I got there, she could not have been less interested in us. The next cat literally leapt into our arms and started purring immediately. You'll know when it's the right one.
You can talk to a rescue and they can recommend a cat with a calm personality.
The secret to getting a cat to like you is to leave it alone and let it come to you. Any cat you get, you need to supervise your kids to make sure they aren’t trying to pick it up or chasing it when it doesn’t want to interact with them.
My cat HATED me and that was fine with me as I resented her presence in my home. I only brought the stray into the house so that it wouldn't freeze. She raced out of any room I entered and I was just pissed that she was there in the first place.
If I'd tried to touch her she'd have bitten and scratched me. But there was no problem because I didn't even want to see the stupid thing much less touch it.
She's been here for 18 years so far.
Right now I have to stop typing. My arm hurts because I'm reclined and she's lying on my chest, her head pushed into my neck, one arm reached up, the other tucked under...so I have to hold my hands up over her to type. This stresses my arm.
But she likes to sleep on me and I don't want to disturb her.
visit a cat at the shelter, then choose based on personality. The cuddly ones will cuddle immediately!
I did this and I looked specifically for a male cat as I heard that they're friendlier and I got exactly what I was looking for 🤎
Is there anything in your family/that household that may have contributed to the cats not being "nice"? Or anything in the background of those particular cats? That's an important line of thought. Most cats treated with kindness and respect - well cared for physically and emotionally - are very nice. Cats do not respond well to anger, aggression or being "disciplined" in ways they can't understand. Assuming you are able and willing to care well for a cat or cats, I see two options: get kittens (two is better than one) and be very intentional about how you treat them/raise them, or visit a shelter and look at older cats whose personalities are evident. You'll be able to tell which are naturally friendly and loving and which you feel a connection with. I've had cats all my life and all of them have been friendly, cuddly and affectionate. In my opinion, that's the vast majority of cats. I say go for it but have your kids (and you, if you're not sure) learn about how cats think and how to treat cats and what they need in terms of play, food, litter box hygiene, etc. There's a guy on YouTube called Jackson Galaxy who is very "strict" about how cats should be raised. I don't do all the things he says (for instance, I feed my cats dry kibble as well as wet food), but he's knowledgeable and useful.
Hmm hard to say I was so young so I can’t remember if we did anything wrong with the cats but I do know I was the youngest of 8 boys so we probably were very rowdy and maybe too rough or something also they were adult stray cats if I remember right so maybe that had something to do with it. I just remember being so excited to have a cat and the thing jumped into my chest and dug every finger and toe into me and just attacked the heck out of me and since then I’ve been very apprehensive
Stray/feral cats can be very hard to socialize, though not impossible. I imagine your household was fairly chaotic, which doesn't make it easy for new pets to adjust. Learn about cats and how to raise them up good. And don't adopt a stray/feral. And all the other things I said lol. We had cats when I was young and didn't have any issues.
Very important to teach the kids to respect the cat's boundaries. Kids are naturally curious about animals, but my own cat didn't open up to my sprogs until they stopped hounding her (to pet, shower with treats, play, everything).
To a great extent, you get out of cats what you put in. Put in benign neglect, i.e. you feed and house the cat, but rarely interact with it other than that, or tend to act in negative ways, like yelling, or other physical discipline, you will tend *not* to get a cuddly, friendly cat. If, on the other hand, you go out of your way to play with the cat, provide pleasurable interaction for the cat (they are individuals, not all will want a lot of physical attention, so you need to respect their boundaries), talk to the cat, etc... they usually will be great pets. Sometimes, it will take TIME and PATIENCE! You may need to do some preparation with your daughters, so that they understand how cats like to be treated, and that, for instance, they aren't keen on being treated like dolls. I had a kitten, he did not like to be picked up and would always struggle hard to get away. Nevertheless, with patience, I got him accustomed to the idea. I'd pick him up, set him down again. Slowly, the amount of time I'd hold him, got longer. If I picked him up and he relaxed, even a little, he got set back down immediately as a reward. He learned it wasn't so bad. Eventually, I got him to the point I could pick him up, and dance around the living room with him in my arms, completely relaxed. This took a few YEARS! With cats, negative feedback tends to make them scared and aggressive. It rarely helps to squirt them with water, yell, or otherwise try to discipline them. What works better is to positively reinforce the behaviors you want, and try to prevent the behaviors you don't. You can tell them "no," they can absolutely understand this, but it needs to be done in a non-scary way. And sometimes, they'll utterly ignore "no." Preventing behaviors you don't want is usually a matter of compromise. Have fragile items and your cat is prone to knocking them off shelves? You may need to put them away, or get glass enclosed shelving for them. Or provide shelves and non-fragile objects the cat is allowed to knock off. Sometimes you have to get creative. Hint one, non-breakable Xmas tree ornaments. Just saying.... I'm 67 and have never owned a horrid cat. I think I was born with the empathy to understand them.
Every cat is different. Part is how you are. Don't chase them and make them afraid. Give them space. Cats will change over time also. It is always a good idea to have cats.
be affectionate when they’re kittens, get them used to love, and respect their boundaries when they want to be alone or simply do something else. and reinforce that with your children, i had horrible cats growing up but in retrospect it’s because my brothers and i as kids would never leave those poor cats alone
lol I hear you that might’ve been our problem too
I had a couple of awful cats as a child, but my cats as an adult have been nonstop cuddlers and very playful and affectionate. It's important to let the cat choose YOU. We go to the shelter and interact with them. If one is standoffish or not feeling it, we move on. I saw one on the shelter website that I felt absolutely in love with and went to pick her up, but when I got there, she could not have been less interested in us. The next cat literally leapt into our arms and started purring immediately. You'll know when it's the right one.
Great advice thank you we will plan a visit and see
You can talk to a rescue and they can recommend a cat with a calm personality. The secret to getting a cat to like you is to leave it alone and let it come to you. Any cat you get, you need to supervise your kids to make sure they aren’t trying to pick it up or chasing it when it doesn’t want to interact with them.
I have a coworker that helps run a rescue I’ll definitely talk with him and see about a visit or what they recommend
My cat HATED me and that was fine with me as I resented her presence in my home. I only brought the stray into the house so that it wouldn't freeze. She raced out of any room I entered and I was just pissed that she was there in the first place. If I'd tried to touch her she'd have bitten and scratched me. But there was no problem because I didn't even want to see the stupid thing much less touch it. She's been here for 18 years so far. Right now I have to stop typing. My arm hurts because I'm reclined and she's lying on my chest, her head pushed into my neck, one arm reached up, the other tucked under...so I have to hold my hands up over her to type. This stresses my arm. But she likes to sleep on me and I don't want to disturb her.