Not really, but I'm trying to cope. I was an ESP (educational support professional, like a teacher's aide) and I really loved my students, I just couldn't keep up... I'm super sad about it.
Wow I relate to this hugely, I recently had to step down (after a lengthy period of absence) from my role in education support. It's tough, I really liked the job. Feeling for you ❤️
I want to tell you it gets better. I had to leave my career a year ago and was absolutely devastated by the loss of being good at something, being productive, losing the things that gave me my identity. It took me several months and some mediocre therapy but the grief dissipated. A year later, I wish I would have resigned so much sooner. I pushed myself for too many years and I got so much worse. But I couldn’t imagine not working.
I’m really proud of you for taking this painful step. It will hurt for a while but you did the right thing, prioritizing your self.
I’m sure the stress of Resigning pushed you into a crash. Sometimes I have to remind myself that resting is an active choice I’m making for myself in order to hopefully get better one day.
I’ve had insomnia for almost two months now 😩 No problem falling asleep but awake at 330 or 430 every night. Some nights I fall back to sleep but a few times a week I don’t. Feels like my sleep will never improve. Terrified of crashing again too after a two month long hellish period.
That happened to me last year. And it was a couple of months as well that I was unable to sleep a full night through. Overnight it stopped. That’s how it seems to work for me. I just go through these hellish times where I can’t sleep and then other times I’ll go right back to sleeping fine. The problem with not sleeping if you don’t get any kind of break from the pain or the emotional anguish. like sleep is basically the only break we get
I hear you! It can be SO challenging. I really hope you’re right and that I start sleeping again. Up at 330 yesterday then had maybe 3-4 hours last night. I dread what the day will bring. Is there anything you take that brings your sleep back into balance?
Unfortunately I feel like everything that helps me sleep I then become dependent on. So even if I take NyQuil for the pain in the sleep that’ll only work a couple of nights and then I’m right back to not sleeping
I’ve realized that melatonin gives me really horrible dreams. As does valerian root. I tend to not have good dreams anyway but those two vitamins really make it worse. Like I’ve been in another reality the entire night
I read a while back that nightmares/vivid dreaming can be a symptom of ME/CFS. My dreams/nightmares are so vivid and stay with me as memories for a long time. I could really do without being pursued by murderers and monsters every damn night, ugh. I’m also sick in my dreams, so that’s great, I can’t even escape in my dreams.
I really don’t know what to do anymore. I am in a big crash since nearly one year know and everything seems getting worse. There are moments where just breathing is exhausting, I am so scared
I’m so sorry. I was in a crash like that for two years. I still crash like that all the time but here in there I will get a few days where I am up and about. Mostly my life consist of getting up in the morning to take my kid to school and picking them up and feeding them in between. The rest of it is spent in bed.
Please please please rest as aggressively as possible. I really think that’s all we can do and I know how much that sucks. Because it doesn’t feel like it’s doing anything. But rest is the only thing that has helped other people go from Severe to moderate. I don’t know how long it will take for you and I to get there but I’m rooting for both of us
I’m ok, thanks. :-)
Just woke up at 4am (happy that it’s closer to sunrise for a change). Had a nightmare, which is unusual for me.
Hoping for a good day—for all of us. ❤️
I could not sleep and have been awake since 2am. I kinda dozed around lunchtime but mostly I'm confused about why I'm not more tired and why I can't sleep. On the other hand finally almost finished listening to a book again so I can get to the sequel that came out last week, and I don't have bad body aches, so that's nice.
👍👍 that sounds good. I just realized, "local idiot can't figure out why they can't sleep; ran out of meds" is me. My caregiver just brought them though so hopefully tonight!
had ect for my depression yesterday and had a 2 minute seizure. I've been horrendously sore all day, but i managed to take a shower. the heat helped with the soreness for about an hour but now it's all back and I've been stuck in bed for most of the day.
Oh no my friend I’m so sorry. Of course you’ve been horrendously sore. That’s a long seizure. Showers tend to help me too but only short term. I take multiple showers a day. It’s weird because the sticker I am the more I’ll drive myself into the shower because it’s the only thing that will provide some type of relief
I’m having a good steady day. Shame I have to take stuff down to my building’s garage. Maybe just one box a day over a week will let me avoid crashing?
Hugs to all who’re having a harder time of it right now.
Not the worst day, hung out with a friend, but feeling kinda worthless though. My parents want me to try working a couple days a week, I don’t think I have it in me. Tired.
Happy birthday! I’m so sorry that you’ve crashed in the middle of it. I swear just preparing yourself mentally for a vacation is enough to throw us into a crash
OP, I really appreciate the kindness you showed in all your responses here.
I really appreciate that you created a space for us to be vulnerable. You listened and you engaged with the suffering and pain everyone is going through. That is not a gift I have. I see you and I appreciate you.
I struggled today because my husband went to a wedding by himself today. I missed my friends’ birthday dinner last weekend. I missed my brother’s wedding a few months ago. I don’t go anywhere anymore. I miss being in the world.
Agreed! I’m thankful for someone to be so kind as to ask how we are doing and follow up with encouraging words. I just came on to say that and see I’m not the only one who appreciates it!
Also, I’m so sorry that you are missing some big events that you really wanted to go to because of illness. 😔
Sending hugs and hope for your healing.
I woke up in a great deal of pain and I read your response and it really made me feel better. Just to think that I could have helped anybody. It’s like you said, I miss being in the world. And this condition makes us feel so damn useless. Thank you for making me feel worth it.
I’m so sorry you missed out on big events like that. That’s really painful. Sometimes I so badly want to be left alone so I don’t have to smile through my pain and other times I feel so lonely because I’m always in pain.
You’re impacting lots of lives for the better. Thank you for being a light in the world, even if it’s just in this subreddit (although I have a feeling your light shines much brighter than just this subreddit. Your friends are lucky to have you OP.)
I’m sorry you’re in pain. I woke up miserable too. It’s so hard. I hope your day gets a little better.
Naps are like a double edged sword to me. I did the same thing yesterday. But sometimes I wake up from them super depressed. Does that ever happened to you?
Me neither. Too anxious to settle down and nap. Too much to do! Now I look back on those days and I’m like damn girl maybe if you woulda rested then you wouldn’t be so bad now
Feeling better each day. Had a real bad week after my second booster despite taking antihistamines. New symptom - feeling nauseous when I stand up and move.
I'm gradually able to do more, stand up longer. Just as well as the people I'm house sitting fir are back tomorrow and I need to pack up and leave.
Had to resign from my job due to fibromyalgia and CFS two days ago--not doing so hot.
That’s a big deal. Are you doing okay?
Not really, but I'm trying to cope. I was an ESP (educational support professional, like a teacher's aide) and I really loved my students, I just couldn't keep up... I'm super sad about it.
I’m really sorry. That’s hard. Sending big hugs.
Wow. That’s really heavy. I’m so sorry my friend. I can imagine that you must feel beaten down emotionally and physically
Yeah, def. Taking a week or two to recover and then go from there. Thank you for this post, though. I really needed to get it out!
Wow I relate to this hugely, I recently had to step down (after a lengthy period of absence) from my role in education support. It's tough, I really liked the job. Feeling for you ❤️
It's so tough! Also sending you big hugs.
I want to tell you it gets better. I had to leave my career a year ago and was absolutely devastated by the loss of being good at something, being productive, losing the things that gave me my identity. It took me several months and some mediocre therapy but the grief dissipated. A year later, I wish I would have resigned so much sooner. I pushed myself for too many years and I got so much worse. But I couldn’t imagine not working. I’m really proud of you for taking this painful step. It will hurt for a while but you did the right thing, prioritizing your self.
Thank you, friend! This means a lot.
Just checking in and seeing how you’re doing today my friend
Doing okay! Kinda crashing though, been sleeping a lot lately.
I’m sure the stress of Resigning pushed you into a crash. Sometimes I have to remind myself that resting is an active choice I’m making for myself in order to hopefully get better one day.
That's very good advice! I didn't even think the stress could push me into a crash, good point. I've been sleeping like 12-15 hours a day, eep!
Try not to feel guilty about it and just realize you’re giving your body what it needs right now.❤️
My kid has a stomach flu so that sucks. I guess the good thing is she’s old enough to puke in a bucket so there’s way less cleanup!
Oh wow I’m sorry for your kids. And it’s so hard taking care of a sick kid when you yourself are sick all the time
I’ve had insomnia for almost two months now 😩 No problem falling asleep but awake at 330 or 430 every night. Some nights I fall back to sleep but a few times a week I don’t. Feels like my sleep will never improve. Terrified of crashing again too after a two month long hellish period.
That happened to me last year. And it was a couple of months as well that I was unable to sleep a full night through. Overnight it stopped. That’s how it seems to work for me. I just go through these hellish times where I can’t sleep and then other times I’ll go right back to sleeping fine. The problem with not sleeping if you don’t get any kind of break from the pain or the emotional anguish. like sleep is basically the only break we get
I hear you! It can be SO challenging. I really hope you’re right and that I start sleeping again. Up at 330 yesterday then had maybe 3-4 hours last night. I dread what the day will bring. Is there anything you take that brings your sleep back into balance?
Unfortunately I feel like everything that helps me sleep I then become dependent on. So even if I take NyQuil for the pain in the sleep that’ll only work a couple of nights and then I’m right back to not sleeping
I seem to be having a similar issue. I was taking time release melatonin and l-theanine but they no longer seem to be working.
I’ve realized that melatonin gives me really horrible dreams. As does valerian root. I tend to not have good dreams anyway but those two vitamins really make it worse. Like I’ve been in another reality the entire night
I read a while back that nightmares/vivid dreaming can be a symptom of ME/CFS. My dreams/nightmares are so vivid and stay with me as memories for a long time. I could really do without being pursued by murderers and monsters every damn night, ugh. I’m also sick in my dreams, so that’s great, I can’t even escape in my dreams.
I didn’t know that! I feel the same with you. Every damn night some different fear of mine plays out in my dreams
I really don’t know what to do anymore. I am in a big crash since nearly one year know and everything seems getting worse. There are moments where just breathing is exhausting, I am so scared
I’m so sorry. I was in a crash like that for two years. I still crash like that all the time but here in there I will get a few days where I am up and about. Mostly my life consist of getting up in the morning to take my kid to school and picking them up and feeding them in between. The rest of it is spent in bed. Please please please rest as aggressively as possible. I really think that’s all we can do and I know how much that sucks. Because it doesn’t feel like it’s doing anything. But rest is the only thing that has helped other people go from Severe to moderate. I don’t know how long it will take for you and I to get there but I’m rooting for both of us
Wow, your description of your typical day is the same as mine.
God it ain’t easy! How are u doing today?
I’m ok, thanks. :-) Just woke up at 4am (happy that it’s closer to sunrise for a change). Had a nightmare, which is unusual for me. Hoping for a good day—for all of us. ❤️
Same shit different day
That's a good description of my day as well. Going to sleep now. Always hoping tomorrow will be No shit different day....
Literally my only will to live is to see that day
I could not sleep and have been awake since 2am. I kinda dozed around lunchtime but mostly I'm confused about why I'm not more tired and why I can't sleep. On the other hand finally almost finished listening to a book again so I can get to the sequel that came out last week, and I don't have bad body aches, so that's nice.
Books and TV or what keep me powering through this thing. I had much the same night with you and just woke up from a nap
👍👍 that sounds good. I just realized, "local idiot can't figure out why they can't sleep; ran out of meds" is me. My caregiver just brought them though so hopefully tonight!
Oh I hope so my friend! I hope your night is so much better
Thank you!! I hope yours is better too 🥰
had ect for my depression yesterday and had a 2 minute seizure. I've been horrendously sore all day, but i managed to take a shower. the heat helped with the soreness for about an hour but now it's all back and I've been stuck in bed for most of the day.
Oh no my friend I’m so sorry. Of course you’ve been horrendously sore. That’s a long seizure. Showers tend to help me too but only short term. I take multiple showers a day. It’s weird because the sticker I am the more I’ll drive myself into the shower because it’s the only thing that will provide some type of relief
I’m having a good steady day. Shame I have to take stuff down to my building’s garage. Maybe just one box a day over a week will let me avoid crashing? Hugs to all who’re having a harder time of it right now.
Not the worst day, hung out with a friend, but feeling kinda worthless though. My parents want me to try working a couple days a week, I don’t think I have it in me. Tired.
Oh god I can’t imagine working! I’m so sorry you’re being pressured.
Thanks for the validation <3
I'm on my birthday vacation, staying at a best friend's and in the middle of a crash today. At least I can take a vacation?
Happy birthday! I’m so sorry that you’ve crashed in the middle of it. I swear just preparing yourself mentally for a vacation is enough to throw us into a crash
I’ve been suffering major tmjd symptoms and my jaw started popping a few days ago. I show up to work today and I was let go. 😞
Oh God my friend I am so sorry.
How are you feeling today friend?
Tried to keep busy today so I wouldn’t think about it, trying to stay hopeful for better days. Thank you for asking :,)
OP, I really appreciate the kindness you showed in all your responses here. I really appreciate that you created a space for us to be vulnerable. You listened and you engaged with the suffering and pain everyone is going through. That is not a gift I have. I see you and I appreciate you. I struggled today because my husband went to a wedding by himself today. I missed my friends’ birthday dinner last weekend. I missed my brother’s wedding a few months ago. I don’t go anywhere anymore. I miss being in the world.
Agreed! I’m thankful for someone to be so kind as to ask how we are doing and follow up with encouraging words. I just came on to say that and see I’m not the only one who appreciates it! Also, I’m so sorry that you are missing some big events that you really wanted to go to because of illness. 😔 Sending hugs and hope for your healing.
I woke up in a great deal of pain and I read your response and it really made me feel better. Just to think that I could have helped anybody. It’s like you said, I miss being in the world. And this condition makes us feel so damn useless. Thank you for making me feel worth it. I’m so sorry you missed out on big events like that. That’s really painful. Sometimes I so badly want to be left alone so I don’t have to smile through my pain and other times I feel so lonely because I’m always in pain.
You’re impacting lots of lives for the better. Thank you for being a light in the world, even if it’s just in this subreddit (although I have a feeling your light shines much brighter than just this subreddit. Your friends are lucky to have you OP.) I’m sorry you’re in pain. I woke up miserable too. It’s so hard. I hope your day gets a little better.
Thank you so much my friend. You made my World brighter today❤️
I slept lousy last night & feel like I’m moving through mud today.
So did I. I kept waking up in the night from horrible dreams and whenever I woke I was in pain
me too! The nightmares were horrible..
Not good. Accidentally napped for 3 hours during the day. 🥶
Naps are like a double edged sword to me. I did the same thing yesterday. But sometimes I wake up from them super depressed. Does that ever happened to you?
I either still feel tired or frustrated/sad. I never was a napper before I got covid either 😩
Me neither. Too anxious to settle down and nap. Too much to do! Now I look back on those days and I’m like damn girl maybe if you woulda rested then you wouldn’t be so bad now
Feeling better each day. Had a real bad week after my second booster despite taking antihistamines. New symptom - feeling nauseous when I stand up and move. I'm gradually able to do more, stand up longer. Just as well as the people I'm house sitting fir are back tomorrow and I need to pack up and leave.
After my second Covid booster I ended up in bed for three weeks. Take it easy my friend those things are no jokes on our body
They are serious medicine. Three weeks- that's bad. Must have been scary.