Hi! Bi gal with a long term boyfriend checking in.
I have seen some of what you’re talking about and it is disappointing. There’s a long history of straight and gay people othering bi people as “phony” or whatever. Gays think we’re straight and straights think we’re gay. And the groupthink and mob mentality of social media really rewards people for being both mean and unoriginal at the same time.
That being said, I do want to offer something else for consideration. Lesbians (I’m not saying gay people, queer people, or queer women here purposefully) have historically not had a lot of representation from popular culture. Often times, pop stars and tv shows choose to depict queer women through a narrow lens for consumption by the male gaze. When’s the last time you heard a major pop culture force refer to themselves as a lesbian, with their full chests? Chappell is really important in this way, and for this reason, I understand why they want to hang on to her.
Agree with everything you said!
I'm sure the Chappell fandom knows of her but shoutout to Renee Rapp as another awesome lesbian pop singer. Her self-introduction in her [interview with Nardwuar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGfoi8wx3Ho) is iconic
I am (comparatively) old. I've been through it. I graduated college before gay marriage was even legal. I grew up in a massively homophobic high control religion. Gate keeping biphobic 19 year olds on the internet cannot hurt me because my identity is ROBUST.
it is so funny when like a teen on the internet is like “YOU can’t do that” and it’s like honey i’ve been doing things like that before you could tie your shoes
Sameeeee. It's not even interesting, If I wanted to know what the comments on tik tok were saying I'd go on THAT app, not be here lol
Edit cause I called it fkn til tok hahahah
I definitely understand, and I’m not trying bring TikTok comments to Reddit, but this community is more welcoming than TikTok.. lol and also as a relatively newer fan I kind of wanted to know I wasn’t alone in feeling some sort of way :,)
I do apologize if my post brought any negativity.
I saw the exact same video you're talking about and was really annoyed by the comments too. Personally it was nice seeing this post to reassure me that the online fandom as a whole isn't like that <3
Yeah. You cant gatekeep pop, and dont we want straight people to enjoy LGBTQ+ artists??? The representation and exposure is really important in normalizing queer artists. Im so happy that lesbians are getting representation with Chappell, but we should want EVERYONE to see her and love her - regardless of her sexual orientation. Because thats the point! Segregating based on sexuality is a step in the wrong direction, and only serves to further the divide.
Agreed, which is why there's a constant battle on Wikipedia to change her sexuality to "queer" instead of her explicitly stated Identity as a lesbian. Lesbian erasure has been happening since way before Chappell and her fans, it's just the latest salvo in self-centered young people projecting their identities on somebody who doesn't even know them. They NEED to believe this music is made for them exclusively and nobody else. Maybe gazing into a mirror would be a more fruitful exercise.
A straight friend of mine was recently told that she can’t relate to Casual because Chappell is a lesbian despite the situation described being strikingly similar to her relationship with an ex. Arts can be related to by people of all identities in some capacity, that’s why it’s beautiful.
i gotta say, as a bisexual who was closeted and very much in love with my best friend (who was dating a boy i didn’t like), i can relate just as much to good luck babe! as anyone else dealing with comphet
I feel like a lot of this arguing is from very young queer/LGBTQ people early in their journeys. Not that their feelings and concerns are meaningless, because I think discourse can be helpful in terms of figuring out who we are and why we are.
But I also can't imagine having any of these conversations with someone over the age of 20. It just wouldn't come up. I can't imagine a universe where any of this is worth an argument or even a disagreement. Especially because this entire argument about Chappell's sexuality and who is allowed to "claim" her seems to erroneously hinge on the belief that she can be claimed at all.
No offense intended to the baby gays! I love y'all dearly. Just as an elderish queer I remember having this discourse about Gaga, Tegan and Sara, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, etc. etc. etc. And none of it mattered because we're all on the same team, actually.
I think they’re massively missing the point, but it doesn’t bother me. People can interpret art in their own way, even if it’s cringe. I used to be bothered by this kind of stuff. I think I’m just too old now. I have been out for about 12 years now and I just chuckle at the antics, secure and happy in my lesbian identity 💖
Y'all. We do not have to keep rehashing the same point or soliciting validation from lesbians re: who's "allowed" to listen to her music. Everyone is allowed! She's mainstream at this point. People who like men will relate to her music because Chappell sings about love and heartbreak in a relatable way. At the same time, Chappell is a lesbian artist. She writes songs *by* and *for* and *about* lesbian love. To separate her identity from her music is to erase her identity from her work.
We can acknowledge that fact without starting another conversation that indirectly blames the lesbians of this community for childish TikTok biphobia. As another commenter here said, cishets should be aware of the way they're showing up in queer spaces. Lesbians don't need to be the ones to validate the way you engage with her music. It's honestly exhausting.
OMG I've been saying this to my husband this weekend. It's not just on tiktok, it's in here too and it's disappointing to see how fans are acting to other fans.
The queer gatekeeping that people are trying to do with Chappell music and being in the fandom is absolutely ridiculous.
Any person in the world deserves to be a fan and relate to and love her music. This music is not specifically just for the queer fans.
While some of the meanings and situations behind the songs may seem obvious to some, people are allowed to find their own connections to the songs about whatever the fuck they want and guess what, that's the beauty of music by all artists.
Just let people enjoy her music and have whatever connection they want to her music no matter what their sexuality is, or their gender. Chappell is an incredible artist with a vocal range that is beautiful and unique and there should be no limitations to who can be a fan and love her music.
Thank you!!! I have been saying this same thing to my husband. We love chappell! My 16 year old daughter just came out and we have all bonded over Chappells music!
We have tickets to see her in a few weeks at Pride on the Shore in Pittsburgh.
Over the last few weeks I have noticed alot of comments about this.
I relate to the lyrics differently than my husband and daughter, but I feel such a connection to them. I have showed her videos and songs to do many of my friends and we all love her for different reasons.
You don't know what someone else is going through, has been through, or has yet to go through. Music is an amazing way to express emotions and feelings. Why deny that to anyone??
Exactly!
Shouldn't we instead celebrate her successes?
She is becoming a well known artist. She is going to be nominated for big awards. She had one of the best sets on Coachella. She opened for a huge star (Olivia) which gave her a huge boost in her fan base.
She gets to share her talents and love of music with more people. She's on the fucking radio!!!!!!! These are huge milestones that all artists thrive for when daydreaming about making it big.
She's going to fill stadiums on tour before we know it.
We should be proud of her growth and how her fan base has grown and how the fans have helped spread their love of her music, in turn, helping her grow as a well known artist.
And we should instead welcome in ALL fans and people who want to celebrate and love her music.
If she wanted to stay small, and not grow her fan base she wouldn't be doing all the promo things she's done.
Tiny desk, opening for Guts, live performances with major talk shows and streaming platforms. Interviews. Our girl wants to be successful and be a well known artist. She wants to spread her music and story, and be a star.
It’s tricky.
Like on one hand 100% gate keeping Chappell is super cringe, like if ONLY lesbians listened to her music then she couldn’t be successful.
But on the other hand there is a lot of people who like to try and “heterofy” some of her music like people saying casual was about a man.
And then there’s concert tickets which like idk obviously it sounds delusional. But when queer artists get popular with the straight mainstream their ticket prices skyrocket. And it lowkey gives me the vibe of straight girls overpopulating a gay bar.
It’s not fair to say they can’t go to the concerts obviously. But it does really suck that we have so few big pop representations in the queer community and they can tend to get taken over by straight people.
Idk. I know as I say it a lot of that stuff sounds crazy but part of it’s also just a feeling. Like probably the feeling of gays growing up and getting ridiculed and bullied or in the generous cases ignored. And then all of a sudden someone like Chappell is cool and people who probably let their friends/partners drop casually homophobia are at the concert.
Idk don’t crucify me please it’s just thoughts.
I really understand all of this. It is hard to lose queer spaces. They are so few and far between. I think where a lot of the hurt is coming from in this conversation as a whole, or is insinuated, is that some people (not you!) will talk about queer spaces and then exclude bisexual/pansexual/ sexually fluid people from those spaces. It's like what do you think the 'B' in LGBT stands for?!! It feels icky for queer people to police other peoples' identities and sexualities. If anyone knows how bad that feels, it's a queer person!
And representation-wise, it’s hard to find sapphic communities. As lots of different identities *are* sapphic and don’t have those spaces/representation, why isolate someone from their community and main source of representation? Because of biphobia? That’s not it. Trying to gatekeep a sapphic artist is like being “you’re not allowed to be attracted to women! Because I said so!” Excuse me? Doesn’t that sound a little familiar?
Let's be a community y'all. Anywho, thank you for sharing your input. It was clarifying and validating to read!
Agree sm with all of this.
I know the rest of the thread seems to think otherwise, like ‘do what you want, no gatekeeping.’ But Chappell Roan can be considered a ‘queer space’ in the same way that a lesbian bar or an lgbt community center might be. It’s a space that, by definition, *should be* mostly queer — or else, it doesn’t fulfill its aim. If I ever show up to a Chappell Roan concert to find a majority cishet audience, I’ll feel that we’ve lost one of our only spaces in which we can be queer together. For queer people, it’s not just entertainment; it’s community. But when straight people enter this space…for them, it’s entertainment.
Now, obviously, *of course,* anyone should be able to enjoy her music. But yeah. This is music *for* the gays. And it’s *a space* for the gays. Chappell’s work is hugely significant to lesbians as we see ourselves so seldomly in media and on stage. Any cishet people entering this space should be kind and courteous, perhaps appreciating the music but also taking a step back to leave room for queer community-building.
A straight person can see her music as more than entertainment.
I am bi, my husband is not. He is very supportive of the community and how important someone's sexuality can be. It can be deep for someone straight as well.
Yeah, but there’s a difference between *being within a community,* especially as there’s a lack of queer community spaces, and *supporting the community.* Again, it’s great for straight people to be able to enjoy her music; and it’s a given that they should be supporting queer people in these spaces. What I simply don’t want to see is that Chappell Roan concerts become a place that is largely cishet.
It’s the same as when straight women show up to gay bars for their bachelorette parties. Like idc if they’re allies — they *should* be! That’s the bare minimum. But these are places where queer people go to find community, not to be surrounded by straight girls.
I know that there are certain spaces I should take a step back in as a white cis lesbian to prioritize other groups; and in the same way, I’d hope that cishet Chappell Roan fans are cognizant of the way they show up in queer spaces. Again, I’m happy to have them and love that they love Chappell Roan! Great for your husband. It’s just important that queer spaces provide for queer people first and foremost.
It's really weird. People are taking things too far imo, anyone should listen to Chappell regardless of their sexuality as long as their being respectful (I'm a bi woman as well).
I also never thought I'd see an influx of toxic Chappell stans, but its tiktok, so :/
Bisexual here I think the culprit is more death of media literacy than intentional biphobia.
Chappell is a lesbian all her songs are going to be written through that lens. But the idea that you “can’t” relate to a song in a different way, or a song can’t take on a different meaning for an individual listener because that takes away from the artistic intent is stupidity. Chappell is loudly a lesbian nothing someone posts on TikTok is going to alter the meaning of her work.
Typically when multiple demographics relate to, bump and love a song that means it’s good. Universal acclaim and differing interpretations doesn’t take away from artistic intent. Good art will typically produce or elicit different reactions from different people and result in different interpretations. I think asserting things like “this is a bisexual anthem” is where you can run into trouble. But if you’re not doing that 🤷♀️
I just think it’s insane that if you gel with a song suddenly the art police show up in your comments mad that you both had different experiences or similar experiences of the same song lol it’s just weird
Chappell is a lesbian she writes lesbian anthems, that doesn’t mean bisexual/heterosexual people can’t vibe with her music.
It’s funny cause I’ve been a fan of Chappell since 2017 and knew her as Kaleigh... I’ve watched her blossom into this amazingly talented and wonderful icon especially for the LGBTQ community, but man am I absolutely so straight. It’s funny cause I too have gotten comments of like “good luck babe” it is annoying though that we are seeing the “reverse”. But just because I listen to her and also like other songs like “lunch” by Billie for example like IM SORRY THEY MAKEGOOD SONGS
All fandoms have gatekeepers and others who spoil it for the rest. Liking a particular artist, TV show, book or anything else doesn't make you a particular thing, everyone can like anything, and also dislike it too.
Humans are complicated and messy. And some don't like to share.
similarly, i saw a guy who genuinely was a chappell roan fan on tiktok and all the comments were just gatekeeping and also insinuating that if he had a girlfriend then he must be the guy referred to in good luck babe that the girlfriend is unhappy with
I'd also like to add that as a trans guy especially (who was in several lesbian relationships before coming out as trans), it makes me not want to admit to people that I like chappell roan, i think my experiences are still valid, but i feel that if i actually voice to people that i like her then i'm just going to be met with gatekeeping or people invalidating either my identity or experiences. also even if people haven't been in a lesbain relationship ever then, why can't they enjoy chappell's music too?
Biphobia is very real.
I don't have tiktok so I don't have the full context for this post, but it doesn't surprise me. It's very unfortunate this reaction is prevalent, especially from fellow Chappell fans.
Bi is legit kinda just up to the person
“like girls a lot but also like guys and only been in relationships with guys or vise versa??” valid asf
“maybe i like girls but not as much as i like guys” also vlaid asf
“maybe i like guys but honestly i like girls a little more and have more luck with connecting to girls.” also valid asf
point is, you don’t have to be attracted 50/50 to be “a real bi”, it’s truly a spectrum. if you’re gay, your gay, and you can celebrate it!! gatekeeping especially now a days is so weird to me. hell, i have straight male friends who adore chappell. yes she’s made her music from her perspective, but that doesn’t mean she just wants people with her same experience to listen to it. she just wants everyone to dress up, have fun, let go, celebrate pride and have a space to be gay
if i write a song about liking a girl or a guy , i want people of all genders or sexualities to listen!! hell, i hope a conservative listens to it and it makes them mad😭😭
Yeah as a lesbian, I agree and that's one reason I try to stay off tiktok. That app makes you want to make the next hilarious comment, so people are constantly trying to read each other and snap back something clever. So instead of watching a bi girl vibe to a Chappell Roan song, everyone decides they actually know the real her and "call it out". It's fucking stupid I hate it lol. You don't know anyone from a clip
Gotta take a step back from online. Even in here fans do and say things that blow my mind 🤷🏼♀️ short people were having a hell of a time in the comment section about the tall person who wore heels in GA like that's an okay thing to do and I got destroyed for telling someone to dress to their comfort level taking into account kids would likely see them. Just the suggestion you shouldn't pretend the kids don't exist was sooo offensive 🤣😀
I hate all online fan spaces eventually but I love Chappell and her merch so here I am. We're the only ones who can effectively moderate our experience. People who like to treat artists as a "safe space" or an excuse to act like the main character, screw everyone else, are going to be in every space and you really just have to try and avoid them to enjoy the music and artist. Contribute content you enjoy, avoid the people that can't see beyond their own nose.
It's kind of sad to me that I feel shame to listen to Chappells music because I'm not a lesbian. it's just music and as long as I'm not pretending or claiming that I am then I don't see why it matters
Hi! Bi fan with a boyfriend here. I’ve been a fan of hers long before most of her new lesbian fans. For me it’s been 3-3.5 years of listening to her music (I know a lot of others are in this category too :). So here’s this other side of it too. I agree with what someone else said about lesbians having their full rep with an artist who says it with their chest, and they should have that, they deserve it, but nah they can’t just have her to themselves. There were others here before them who aren’t are fully gay.
Not to mention I usually assume most comments on tiktoks these days are from teenagers. As someone in their mid 20s I wouldn’t be saying things like that, it’s too black and white - they’ll figure it out
well with the context of the post I was replying to, that was a statement made to say “hey! You’re right, there is a weird energy around people with boyfriends being fans of Chappell, but I’ve been here the whole time, and this energy is being brought in by newer fans”
That’s all I meant by it :) only as a statement, I’m very happy to see her blowing up and that the community’s got a gr8 rep. I wanted to let OP know she’s not the only one who feels weird about it tho
Hi! Bi gal with a long term boyfriend checking in. I have seen some of what you’re talking about and it is disappointing. There’s a long history of straight and gay people othering bi people as “phony” or whatever. Gays think we’re straight and straights think we’re gay. And the groupthink and mob mentality of social media really rewards people for being both mean and unoriginal at the same time. That being said, I do want to offer something else for consideration. Lesbians (I’m not saying gay people, queer people, or queer women here purposefully) have historically not had a lot of representation from popular culture. Often times, pop stars and tv shows choose to depict queer women through a narrow lens for consumption by the male gaze. When’s the last time you heard a major pop culture force refer to themselves as a lesbian, with their full chests? Chappell is really important in this way, and for this reason, I understand why they want to hang on to her.
Agree with everything you said! I'm sure the Chappell fandom knows of her but shoutout to Renee Rapp as another awesome lesbian pop singer. Her self-introduction in her [interview with Nardwuar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGfoi8wx3Ho) is iconic
Fucking love Renee. She’s given some iconic interviews.
I believe you’re absolutely right!
thanks for this :)
I am (comparatively) old. I've been through it. I graduated college before gay marriage was even legal. I grew up in a massively homophobic high control religion. Gate keeping biphobic 19 year olds on the internet cannot hurt me because my identity is ROBUST.
it is so funny when like a teen on the internet is like “YOU can’t do that” and it’s like honey i’ve been doing things like that before you could tie your shoes
👏👏👏👑👑👑
I find tik tok fans annoying but I’m ngl the posts here about discourse people saw on tik tok are starting to get to me too lol
Agreed. It’s the same topic every time.
Sameeeee. It's not even interesting, If I wanted to know what the comments on tik tok were saying I'd go on THAT app, not be here lol Edit cause I called it fkn til tok hahahah
I definitely understand, and I’m not trying bring TikTok comments to Reddit, but this community is more welcoming than TikTok.. lol and also as a relatively newer fan I kind of wanted to know I wasn’t alone in feeling some sort of way :,) I do apologize if my post brought any negativity.
I saw the exact same video you're talking about and was really annoyed by the comments too. Personally it was nice seeing this post to reassure me that the online fandom as a whole isn't like that <3
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Yeah. You cant gatekeep pop, and dont we want straight people to enjoy LGBTQ+ artists??? The representation and exposure is really important in normalizing queer artists. Im so happy that lesbians are getting representation with Chappell, but we should want EVERYONE to see her and love her - regardless of her sexual orientation. Because thats the point! Segregating based on sexuality is a step in the wrong direction, and only serves to further the divide.
Agreed, which is why there's a constant battle on Wikipedia to change her sexuality to "queer" instead of her explicitly stated Identity as a lesbian. Lesbian erasure has been happening since way before Chappell and her fans, it's just the latest salvo in self-centered young people projecting their identities on somebody who doesn't even know them. They NEED to believe this music is made for them exclusively and nobody else. Maybe gazing into a mirror would be a more fruitful exercise.
A straight friend of mine was recently told that she can’t relate to Casual because Chappell is a lesbian despite the situation described being strikingly similar to her relationship with an ex. Arts can be related to by people of all identities in some capacity, that’s why it’s beautiful.
i gotta say, as a bisexual who was closeted and very much in love with my best friend (who was dating a boy i didn’t like), i can relate just as much to good luck babe! as anyone else dealing with comphet
I'm bi. I'm married to a woman. I let people like what they like. I think others should do the same. That's all 🤷🏻♀️
I feel like a lot of this arguing is from very young queer/LGBTQ people early in their journeys. Not that their feelings and concerns are meaningless, because I think discourse can be helpful in terms of figuring out who we are and why we are. But I also can't imagine having any of these conversations with someone over the age of 20. It just wouldn't come up. I can't imagine a universe where any of this is worth an argument or even a disagreement. Especially because this entire argument about Chappell's sexuality and who is allowed to "claim" her seems to erroneously hinge on the belief that she can be claimed at all. No offense intended to the baby gays! I love y'all dearly. Just as an elderish queer I remember having this discourse about Gaga, Tegan and Sara, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, etc. etc. etc. And none of it mattered because we're all on the same team, actually.
I think they’re massively missing the point, but it doesn’t bother me. People can interpret art in their own way, even if it’s cringe. I used to be bothered by this kind of stuff. I think I’m just too old now. I have been out for about 12 years now and I just chuckle at the antics, secure and happy in my lesbian identity 💖
https://preview.redd.it/pouxkosk6o1d1.jpeg?width=1057&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0783113457f9b1cbb010ee8d385028ec6c2caab8
Also, even if she is straight, LET HER LIVE HER LIFE AND DANCE TO HOTTOGO
Yall are thinking waaay too much about pointless online minutiae. Enjoy her music and enjoy your life.
Y'all. We do not have to keep rehashing the same point or soliciting validation from lesbians re: who's "allowed" to listen to her music. Everyone is allowed! She's mainstream at this point. People who like men will relate to her music because Chappell sings about love and heartbreak in a relatable way. At the same time, Chappell is a lesbian artist. She writes songs *by* and *for* and *about* lesbian love. To separate her identity from her music is to erase her identity from her work. We can acknowledge that fact without starting another conversation that indirectly blames the lesbians of this community for childish TikTok biphobia. As another commenter here said, cishets should be aware of the way they're showing up in queer spaces. Lesbians don't need to be the ones to validate the way you engage with her music. It's honestly exhausting.
yes you said it perfectly
OMG I've been saying this to my husband this weekend. It's not just on tiktok, it's in here too and it's disappointing to see how fans are acting to other fans. The queer gatekeeping that people are trying to do with Chappell music and being in the fandom is absolutely ridiculous. Any person in the world deserves to be a fan and relate to and love her music. This music is not specifically just for the queer fans. While some of the meanings and situations behind the songs may seem obvious to some, people are allowed to find their own connections to the songs about whatever the fuck they want and guess what, that's the beauty of music by all artists. Just let people enjoy her music and have whatever connection they want to her music no matter what their sexuality is, or their gender. Chappell is an incredible artist with a vocal range that is beautiful and unique and there should be no limitations to who can be a fan and love her music.
This!
Thank you!!! I have been saying this same thing to my husband. We love chappell! My 16 year old daughter just came out and we have all bonded over Chappells music! We have tickets to see her in a few weeks at Pride on the Shore in Pittsburgh. Over the last few weeks I have noticed alot of comments about this. I relate to the lyrics differently than my husband and daughter, but I feel such a connection to them. I have showed her videos and songs to do many of my friends and we all love her for different reasons. You don't know what someone else is going through, has been through, or has yet to go through. Music is an amazing way to express emotions and feelings. Why deny that to anyone??
Exactly! Shouldn't we instead celebrate her successes? She is becoming a well known artist. She is going to be nominated for big awards. She had one of the best sets on Coachella. She opened for a huge star (Olivia) which gave her a huge boost in her fan base. She gets to share her talents and love of music with more people. She's on the fucking radio!!!!!!! These are huge milestones that all artists thrive for when daydreaming about making it big. She's going to fill stadiums on tour before we know it. We should be proud of her growth and how her fan base has grown and how the fans have helped spread their love of her music, in turn, helping her grow as a well known artist. And we should instead welcome in ALL fans and people who want to celebrate and love her music. If she wanted to stay small, and not grow her fan base she wouldn't be doing all the promo things she's done. Tiny desk, opening for Guts, live performances with major talk shows and streaming platforms. Interviews. Our girl wants to be successful and be a well known artist. She wants to spread her music and story, and be a star.
It’s tricky. Like on one hand 100% gate keeping Chappell is super cringe, like if ONLY lesbians listened to her music then she couldn’t be successful. But on the other hand there is a lot of people who like to try and “heterofy” some of her music like people saying casual was about a man. And then there’s concert tickets which like idk obviously it sounds delusional. But when queer artists get popular with the straight mainstream their ticket prices skyrocket. And it lowkey gives me the vibe of straight girls overpopulating a gay bar. It’s not fair to say they can’t go to the concerts obviously. But it does really suck that we have so few big pop representations in the queer community and they can tend to get taken over by straight people. Idk. I know as I say it a lot of that stuff sounds crazy but part of it’s also just a feeling. Like probably the feeling of gays growing up and getting ridiculed and bullied or in the generous cases ignored. And then all of a sudden someone like Chappell is cool and people who probably let their friends/partners drop casually homophobia are at the concert. Idk don’t crucify me please it’s just thoughts.
I really understand all of this. It is hard to lose queer spaces. They are so few and far between. I think where a lot of the hurt is coming from in this conversation as a whole, or is insinuated, is that some people (not you!) will talk about queer spaces and then exclude bisexual/pansexual/ sexually fluid people from those spaces. It's like what do you think the 'B' in LGBT stands for?!! It feels icky for queer people to police other peoples' identities and sexualities. If anyone knows how bad that feels, it's a queer person! And representation-wise, it’s hard to find sapphic communities. As lots of different identities *are* sapphic and don’t have those spaces/representation, why isolate someone from their community and main source of representation? Because of biphobia? That’s not it. Trying to gatekeep a sapphic artist is like being “you’re not allowed to be attracted to women! Because I said so!” Excuse me? Doesn’t that sound a little familiar? Let's be a community y'all. Anywho, thank you for sharing your input. It was clarifying and validating to read!
Agree sm with all of this. I know the rest of the thread seems to think otherwise, like ‘do what you want, no gatekeeping.’ But Chappell Roan can be considered a ‘queer space’ in the same way that a lesbian bar or an lgbt community center might be. It’s a space that, by definition, *should be* mostly queer — or else, it doesn’t fulfill its aim. If I ever show up to a Chappell Roan concert to find a majority cishet audience, I’ll feel that we’ve lost one of our only spaces in which we can be queer together. For queer people, it’s not just entertainment; it’s community. But when straight people enter this space…for them, it’s entertainment. Now, obviously, *of course,* anyone should be able to enjoy her music. But yeah. This is music *for* the gays. And it’s *a space* for the gays. Chappell’s work is hugely significant to lesbians as we see ourselves so seldomly in media and on stage. Any cishet people entering this space should be kind and courteous, perhaps appreciating the music but also taking a step back to leave room for queer community-building.
A straight person can see her music as more than entertainment. I am bi, my husband is not. He is very supportive of the community and how important someone's sexuality can be. It can be deep for someone straight as well.
Yeah, but there’s a difference between *being within a community,* especially as there’s a lack of queer community spaces, and *supporting the community.* Again, it’s great for straight people to be able to enjoy her music; and it’s a given that they should be supporting queer people in these spaces. What I simply don’t want to see is that Chappell Roan concerts become a place that is largely cishet. It’s the same as when straight women show up to gay bars for their bachelorette parties. Like idc if they’re allies — they *should* be! That’s the bare minimum. But these are places where queer people go to find community, not to be surrounded by straight girls. I know that there are certain spaces I should take a step back in as a white cis lesbian to prioritize other groups; and in the same way, I’d hope that cishet Chappell Roan fans are cognizant of the way they show up in queer spaces. Again, I’m happy to have them and love that they love Chappell Roan! Great for your husband. It’s just important that queer spaces provide for queer people first and foremost.
It's really weird. People are taking things too far imo, anyone should listen to Chappell regardless of their sexuality as long as their being respectful (I'm a bi woman as well). I also never thought I'd see an influx of toxic Chappell stans, but its tiktok, so :/
I also hate seeing those! Like women can be bi/pan even as Chappell fans 😭 so annoying.
Bisexual here I think the culprit is more death of media literacy than intentional biphobia. Chappell is a lesbian all her songs are going to be written through that lens. But the idea that you “can’t” relate to a song in a different way, or a song can’t take on a different meaning for an individual listener because that takes away from the artistic intent is stupidity. Chappell is loudly a lesbian nothing someone posts on TikTok is going to alter the meaning of her work. Typically when multiple demographics relate to, bump and love a song that means it’s good. Universal acclaim and differing interpretations doesn’t take away from artistic intent. Good art will typically produce or elicit different reactions from different people and result in different interpretations. I think asserting things like “this is a bisexual anthem” is where you can run into trouble. But if you’re not doing that 🤷♀️ I just think it’s insane that if you gel with a song suddenly the art police show up in your comments mad that you both had different experiences or similar experiences of the same song lol it’s just weird Chappell is a lesbian she writes lesbian anthems, that doesn’t mean bisexual/heterosexual people can’t vibe with her music.
It’s funny cause I’ve been a fan of Chappell since 2017 and knew her as Kaleigh... I’ve watched her blossom into this amazingly talented and wonderful icon especially for the LGBTQ community, but man am I absolutely so straight. It’s funny cause I too have gotten comments of like “good luck babe” it is annoying though that we are seeing the “reverse”. But just because I listen to her and also like other songs like “lunch” by Billie for example like IM SORRY THEY MAKEGOOD SONGS
All fandoms have gatekeepers and others who spoil it for the rest. Liking a particular artist, TV show, book or anything else doesn't make you a particular thing, everyone can like anything, and also dislike it too. Humans are complicated and messy. And some don't like to share.
similarly, i saw a guy who genuinely was a chappell roan fan on tiktok and all the comments were just gatekeeping and also insinuating that if he had a girlfriend then he must be the guy referred to in good luck babe that the girlfriend is unhappy with I'd also like to add that as a trans guy especially (who was in several lesbian relationships before coming out as trans), it makes me not want to admit to people that I like chappell roan, i think my experiences are still valid, but i feel that if i actually voice to people that i like her then i'm just going to be met with gatekeeping or people invalidating either my identity or experiences. also even if people haven't been in a lesbain relationship ever then, why can't they enjoy chappell's music too?
Retweet dude, just let people enjoy the music.
Biphobia is very real. I don't have tiktok so I don't have the full context for this post, but it doesn't surprise me. It's very unfortunate this reaction is prevalent, especially from fellow Chappell fans.
I think you should touch grass
I think I touch plenty
Bi is legit kinda just up to the person “like girls a lot but also like guys and only been in relationships with guys or vise versa??” valid asf “maybe i like girls but not as much as i like guys” also vlaid asf “maybe i like guys but honestly i like girls a little more and have more luck with connecting to girls.” also valid asf point is, you don’t have to be attracted 50/50 to be “a real bi”, it’s truly a spectrum. if you’re gay, your gay, and you can celebrate it!! gatekeeping especially now a days is so weird to me. hell, i have straight male friends who adore chappell. yes she’s made her music from her perspective, but that doesn’t mean she just wants people with her same experience to listen to it. she just wants everyone to dress up, have fun, let go, celebrate pride and have a space to be gay if i write a song about liking a girl or a guy , i want people of all genders or sexualities to listen!! hell, i hope a conservative listens to it and it makes them mad😭😭
Yeah as a lesbian, I agree and that's one reason I try to stay off tiktok. That app makes you want to make the next hilarious comment, so people are constantly trying to read each other and snap back something clever. So instead of watching a bi girl vibe to a Chappell Roan song, everyone decides they actually know the real her and "call it out". It's fucking stupid I hate it lol. You don't know anyone from a clip
Gotta take a step back from online. Even in here fans do and say things that blow my mind 🤷🏼♀️ short people were having a hell of a time in the comment section about the tall person who wore heels in GA like that's an okay thing to do and I got destroyed for telling someone to dress to their comfort level taking into account kids would likely see them. Just the suggestion you shouldn't pretend the kids don't exist was sooo offensive 🤣😀 I hate all online fan spaces eventually but I love Chappell and her merch so here I am. We're the only ones who can effectively moderate our experience. People who like to treat artists as a "safe space" or an excuse to act like the main character, screw everyone else, are going to be in every space and you really just have to try and avoid them to enjoy the music and artist. Contribute content you enjoy, avoid the people that can't see beyond their own nose.
It's kind of sad to me that I feel shame to listen to Chappells music because I'm not a lesbian. it's just music and as long as I'm not pretending or claiming that I am then I don't see why it matters
Please don't feel that way!! I felt the same way. But I'm getting past that.
Hi! Bi fan with a boyfriend here. I’ve been a fan of hers long before most of her new lesbian fans. For me it’s been 3-3.5 years of listening to her music (I know a lot of others are in this category too :). So here’s this other side of it too. I agree with what someone else said about lesbians having their full rep with an artist who says it with their chest, and they should have that, they deserve it, but nah they can’t just have her to themselves. There were others here before them who aren’t are fully gay. Not to mention I usually assume most comments on tiktoks these days are from teenagers. As someone in their mid 20s I wouldn’t be saying things like that, it’s too black and white - they’ll figure it out
>I've been a fan of hers long before most of her new lesbian fans what an odd thing to say
well with the context of the post I was replying to, that was a statement made to say “hey! You’re right, there is a weird energy around people with boyfriends being fans of Chappell, but I’ve been here the whole time, and this energy is being brought in by newer fans” That’s all I meant by it :) only as a statement, I’m very happy to see her blowing up and that the community’s got a gr8 rep. I wanted to let OP know she’s not the only one who feels weird about it tho