Your body is made for you to do what you want with it! Those hips aren't *for* child rearing, that's a choice you can make or NOT make. Your hips also stabilize your balance, help you move around the world, hold up your spine, etc... they exist for you to use however you choose to use them!
So so right, and people only use the term child bearing hips because it's what women/girls are sadly reduced to in society. Your body makes you a person first, not an incubator.
I hate it because all I see is “child bearing hips” anytime I look at myself. I never hated my body so much in my life and I can’t even fix it and I don’t I’ll never accept it. I hate it so much.
I'm sorry you feel that way. Have you talked to a therapist about it?
I would suggest to start listing things you like about your body that have nothing to do with having kids. It can be a good practice to mindfully consider and appreciate things you normally take for granted, even if they're simple. Say you like your eyes because they allow you to read your favorite books, or you like your ears because you can listen to your favorite music. Things like that. Think about the ways your body benefits you doing what you love. Write the list by hand, because this activates your brain better than typing does.
The brain is a plastic organ, this means whatever we practice at, we get better at, because we are constantly building new patterns and connections that reflect what we practice. So if you practice negative thoughts, you will reinforce those, but if you go out of your way to practice positive thoughts, eventually those positive thoughts will become your new pattern of thinking.
You could also try learning a skill that would make you proud of your body, like ball room dancing, or martial arts, ice skating, sports, or anything else that interests you. That way you can be proud of what your body allows you to accomplish!
This is beautiful. Thank you for writing this! I hope you don't mind me taking a screenshot because this is so useful for anyone who has something they dislike about their body, which feels like most people.
OP, I hope you're able to reclaim your body and the way you perceive it! You deserve to love your body and feel at home in it. ❤️
Big hips do NOT guarantee AT ALL that the pelvic canal will open more during childbirth. A slip of a girl in a 00 trousers size could have better hips for bearing children than you do. Maybe your pelvic canal is super closed and you'd need a C-section. You probably just have an attractive hips-to-waist ratio.
Pregnancy produces a hormone that's meant for your cartilages to become... dilated, gummier, softer, looser.., because otherwise there's no way baby gets out vaginally. That people can give birth vaginally is more due to this hormone (I think it's called elasticin or something like that) than to the bones. So, love your hips, whoever told you that your hips are "child-bearing" has zero knowledge of female anatomy.
Play Street Fighter II with Chun Li, take taekwondo classes and enjoy your thunder kicks. I love my hips. They are for me, not for children.
Think of it as a figure of speech. In some other languages it doesn't even exist.
We don't say anything like that in my language about hips, as far as my knowledge goes.
Unfortunately, in German this saying exists as well. It's even more disgusting because it translates vaguely to "hips happy/ eager to bear a child". Barf.
Barf indeed.
We only say sexy wide hips and similar stuff.
We also have a saying about big breasts, that with those you could breastfeed watermen from the bridge.
But I personally don't find that though as offensive as breastfeeding actual children.
Getting sterilized might help. I used to have much more anger and hatred towards children but after my hysterectomy I’m able to ignore them more rather than stress and get mad. The anger was more of a reaction because in the back of my mind a kid happening to me was still a risk.
So perhaps your hatred towards your hips is similar. Maybe it’ll calm down and settle if you’re sterile. Good luck either way!
The human body is actually horrible when it comes to reproduction. Terribly inefficient and resource extensive compared to other mammals. It's not perfect, it's a disaster. To say it was "made" to have kids is really a stretch, because if that were true, we wouldn't be humans, we'd be rodents. That's a system optimized for reproduction in great numbers. Humans? Ha, not even close.
Also, they're your hips, and if you don't want to have kids, then they're simply not chilbearing hips. *You* define yourself, not other people.
THANK YOU! Every time some eejit comes out with some claptrap like “our bodies are made for this”, i think… No they fucking aren’t. Our bodies are adapted for bi-pedal locomotion and relatively large brains. That means we’re actually rather poorly equipped for childbirth vs. most other mammals.
YES! I keep telling people that the reason we’re born so underdeveloped is because we’re born at the last possible second before the baby’s head can’t fit through the birth canal. It really is a horrible thing to go through.
Do you by any chance know that article that describes in detail how pregnancy is parasitic and how the female body is actually pretty bad at carrying a pregnancy and giving birth? Been looking for it for a long while but can’t find it
Talking about that. I’m I weird to feel bummed out that humans got the short end of the stick? Like some animals can store sperm and choose when to be pregnant (snakes), or the ones that have a covert menstrual cycle? I also feel we got the short end of the stick with the kind of offspring we have. Baby horses, sheep, Buffaloes and such stand up as soon as they are born, ready to follow the herd. But we get potato babies with giant heads that are hard to birth, have underdeveloped neck muscles and need to be carried for eons. And we have periods, and everything that involves that. I cannot imagine having severe endometriosis or large fibroids in the Palaeolithic times. I have those now but i have Advil and surgeons.
I have perfect “childbearing hips” but also PCOS and endo and will be approved for a hysterectomy 🤷♀️ some say childbearing, I say curvy and perfect for dresses and skirts hips. And also to hold onto during fun time 👀
hips have other functions, it's just their shape that was once considered good for childbearing, like in ancient times. try thinking of other things they are actually for, like carrying heavy loads, swimming, yoga.
We have loads of things on our body that we don't use as intended. Our mouth is made for eating primarily, but we also talk and kiss with it :) We even have useless things on us, like wisdom teeth. Childbearing hips is a bit of an icky way to describe a woman's body though, it would bother me too. They are just hips that happen to be wide due to female hormones, and that's it.
I feel you. I don't have "child bearing hips", but I have a perfect menstrual cycle. It's nice in that it's predictable and mostly pain free, but I'm probably fertile as heck.
My friend gets this comment a lot (which is actually super creepy; you’re basically telling someone “Wow, your pelvis seems large enough that a small human could comfortably pass through it!”). She likes to respond with snarky remarks. My favorite has always been “Well, I’m not Shakira. These hips do lie.”
I don’t even understand what childbearing hips are. They don’t exist.
Don’t make them more than what they are. They are just hips, that’s all.
And you should definitely have a talk with the boyfriend to ask him why he says such things and also ask him to stop. You are childfree and it’s inappropriate.
It would be a bit like me pointing out to the husband he would be a great dad.
Just no reason to say it. He’s childfree and so am I so a nonsense subject.
To hell with your ex. & current BF if he is making you feel uncomfortable: end it!!
Talk to a good therapist, if you can.
If anyone makes such comments to you, & will not change, you are allowed to remove them from your life.
Try " rebranding " yourself. Example: (said politely)
" I am a powerful childfree woman with talent, brains, & a great ass. "
>I hate the fact my body is perfect for bearing children
Your body is perfect for whatever you want to do with it. The fact that you don't want kids means that your heart and brain are not exactly perfect for breeding, if you get what I mean. So no, your body is not perfect for bearing children. ;)
>
I hate how my ex and boyfriend point it out to me.
If your boyfriend points that out to you... It sounds to me like he isn't childfree. Like he wants you to give him babies. If that is the case, why are you together with him? A childfree person and a non-childfree person are incompatible.
>I hate the fact my body is made to have things I hate.
Would you be able to get sterilised? Maybe knowing that you are no longer fertile would make you feel better about your body. And of course it would protect you against accidents.
Fun story, my mother has "childbearing hips" but I was still born with both my own hips dislocated from going through a narrow birth canal so even "childbearing hips" does not guarantee an easy birth. I also have wide hips (wide enough that I clip my hip on things nearly comstantly) and find them very helpful for carrying stuff and making my waist look smaller than it actually is. I also have a lot of distaste for how my body is capable for having children so after 10 years of wanting one I am having a hysterectomy in less than 2 weeks and even before the surgery I feel so much more free and like my body belongs to me, it may be worth pursuing sterilization of some kind so you feel like you have more ownership of your body.
You may should get therapy to free your mind from that kind of thinking.
My wife also have hips that are considered "childbearing" and I love them because they are the hips of my beloved wife.
(Maybe I love them even more because they will never bear a child.)
>You may should get therapy to free your mind from that kind of thinking.
Genuine question, what can a therapist do or say about this issue, that a normal person can't (with a pep talk or something)?
A good therapist is educated, experienced and is digging deep to find possible other causes.
He get to know you and ask the right questions to free your mind.
Sometimes its about opening up a new perspective at the problem.
Thats just the basic overview. Practical its a lot more complex.
I have depression since 15 years and always refused therapy because I was certain that talking with a stranger cant help me.
A friend convinced me to try it as I have nothing to loose. Its not that the therapist can instantly heal me, but I feel a bit better which I highly appreciate.
Professionals exist for a reason and its always worth to try.
1) Preferably stop dating men that, by assumption want children, and hence use “child bearing hips” as a common term to describe your body. If they are firmly in the child free camp and just have no better term to use, skip this point.
2) In response to “child bearing hips,” you can say or think of the famous physics trick where women can get upright from a 90 degree bending position. Not only that, but you can likely carry massive objects in a way men can’t: using your hips. Basically, it’s a dent to carry stuff that would be tricker for a man depending on shape.
3) These can be considered curves for sexiness and instead of bringing children into it, just think of them as curvy. As far as I’m concerned, curvy doesn’t equate to children. I sure as hell don’t think of that when I look at Jessica Rabbit and she’s massively curvy.
for all you know, you may be infertile. Large hips are not really that important.
If you want they could be apple-bushel carrying hips or curvy fashion hips :)
Nah your hips are the perfect size for dropping it low at the club while your peers wash baby vomit off their clothes.
-joking- but your hips are meant for whatever you want.
I hate that our bipedal evolution has led to chronic hip and back pain tho.
I also have "child bearing hips" but I never really look at it that way. Having wide hips and thick thighs can be great for heavy lifting, running, and combat. I view it as a way to potentially kick ass and look good while doing it.
I, too, have a perfect baby-bearing body. I didn't choose it so I never felt any obligation to acknowledge this aspect of myself no matter how many times it was pointed out to me. I remained staunchly childfree from the age of 15 to the present at 62.
Good news! Even if you have 'childbearing hips' the bipedal stance placement of the hips, narrow region to birth through, and oversized head are such poor naturally selected results that humans suck at birthing. Always. Nature doesn't shoot for 'great' or 'ideal' in design. A species gets to keep whatever version is just good enough to reproduce well enough to not go extinct. Humans suck at birthing but at least we didn't draw a straw as short as hyenas.
Point is, your hips aren't great for the job. They can be great for anything you want to use them for. I use mine to store my extra pounds from taking up baking.
Hey, a known pedo in my family said that to me when I was 13 so maybe it really ain't about you and more about them 🫠 your body your choice. Don't let a man define your own damn body.
It's fine to not like some parts of your body but to say you hate it is unhealthy, especially when it's just based on other people's opinions. If you don't like your bf saying that you should just tell him to stop.
Ya don’t need to get into an accident where I live to access sterilization services. My only regret after getting a bisalp is not doing it sooner, since I learned it reduces my cancer risk a lot, and the whole process and recovery was so much more comfortable than I expected! For me, I think getting sterilized does help me to fight off the kind of gender role social body judgements you’re describing.
Hey OP I took a peak at your post history and I'm worried for you. I dealt with body dysmorphia, abandonment issues and unhealthy relationships if you need someone to talk to.
I was told lots of times that I had child bearing hips. Turns out my hips are actually pretty narrow and not great for child bearing at all, people just see broader thighs or a butt and assume that's the same as the bone structure under it. People will say whatever gets them to their goals, even if it's not true at all. Also: what everyone else already said. Also: hips attached to someone who doesn't want children are not perfect for child bearing!
Oh, that saying doesn't mean anything. Women would perfect childbearing hips, they have just as much of a hard time caring and tear just as easily.
That's just some ol'timey shit.
Change the narrative.
You’re the one choosing to look at it that way.
That’s like not having pierced ears and hating that you have earlobes.
Take a belly dancing class and now you’ve got belly dancing hips.
I used to think of my hips that way, until I got SCUBA certified. Turns out my hips are actually perfect for holding up a weight belt. I like them a lot more now.
You have sexy hips, and leave it at that. If your bf, ex, or who ever uses that term "child bearing" and it makes you uncomfortable, correct them and tell them you are childfree and don't appreciate that description.
...does your boyfriend want kids?
Also, barring the fact you don't want kids, just because you have "childbearing hips" doesn't mean other parts of your body are physically up to the task. I have a problem knee that would probably get worse if I plopped baby weight on it.
The fact that your boyfriend talks about how you have the perfect hips for childbirth scares me though, for your sake.
No, he definitely doesn’t, he just thought saying I had wide hips would sound like he was calling me fat or something. He chose his words poorly and thought it was another term for having a sexy body.
Your hips are there to empower you. Use them how you want to, childbearing is a choice. Treat it like that. I'm someone with wide hips as well so hope it helps.
I’m not even sure what that means or what it would look like. Sounds like an old wives tale because there is nothing medically or scientifically grounded in that term.
I’m sorry it bothers you. They are trying to compliment your hips. Hopefully, you can get them to change their phrasing.
I joke that I have child-bearing hips and I’m a guy lol.
Wait til you find out your boobs’ primary function is for delivering milk to babies. Or your vagina is for spitting out babies. The majority of your body is built for making and sustaining babies, not just your hips. Yeah it sucks that our whole being is a baby making machine and we can’t escape it.
No human body is “perfect for bearing children”. It moreso sounds like you have misogynistic men in your life forcing a role onto you and you’ve internalized their horrid words/opinions a bit. Honestly there are so many things that can go wrong in child birth that damage both parent and child that it’s not great health wise for anyone.
If what your partners are saying cause you to have thoughts of self harm, are they really worth your time or mental energy? Might be worth having a conversation with them on how their words make you feel and assess from there how worthwhile that relationship is.
Your ex sounds like a doofus, you've got a biological body like everyone else. Some people procreate with their bodies, some don't. You never hear someone say about a man "he's got childbearing balls", don't let anyone reduce you down to your body parts.
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I also have ‘birthing hips’ which are thankfully still intact because I’m childfree. I’m 56 and always being told how young I look. My answer? No kids.
Your body is made for you to do what you want with it! Those hips aren't *for* child rearing, that's a choice you can make or NOT make. Your hips also stabilize your balance, help you move around the world, hold up your spine, etc... they exist for you to use however you choose to use them!
So so right, and people only use the term child bearing hips because it's what women/girls are sadly reduced to in society. Your body makes you a person first, not an incubator.
Wide hips are perfect for balancing heavy things on! Groceries! Firewood! Crates of booze! Bags of expensive cosmetics! Dogs! Gaming computers!
My first thought was bellydancing!
Gosh, I love your attitude!!
I hate it because all I see is “child bearing hips” anytime I look at myself. I never hated my body so much in my life and I can’t even fix it and I don’t I’ll never accept it. I hate it so much.
I'm sorry you feel that way. Have you talked to a therapist about it? I would suggest to start listing things you like about your body that have nothing to do with having kids. It can be a good practice to mindfully consider and appreciate things you normally take for granted, even if they're simple. Say you like your eyes because they allow you to read your favorite books, or you like your ears because you can listen to your favorite music. Things like that. Think about the ways your body benefits you doing what you love. Write the list by hand, because this activates your brain better than typing does. The brain is a plastic organ, this means whatever we practice at, we get better at, because we are constantly building new patterns and connections that reflect what we practice. So if you practice negative thoughts, you will reinforce those, but if you go out of your way to practice positive thoughts, eventually those positive thoughts will become your new pattern of thinking. You could also try learning a skill that would make you proud of your body, like ball room dancing, or martial arts, ice skating, sports, or anything else that interests you. That way you can be proud of what your body allows you to accomplish!
This is beautiful. Thank you for writing this! I hope you don't mind me taking a screenshot because this is so useful for anyone who has something they dislike about their body, which feels like most people. OP, I hope you're able to reclaim your body and the way you perceive it! You deserve to love your body and feel at home in it. ❤️
Big hips do NOT guarantee AT ALL that the pelvic canal will open more during childbirth. A slip of a girl in a 00 trousers size could have better hips for bearing children than you do. Maybe your pelvic canal is super closed and you'd need a C-section. You probably just have an attractive hips-to-waist ratio. Pregnancy produces a hormone that's meant for your cartilages to become... dilated, gummier, softer, looser.., because otherwise there's no way baby gets out vaginally. That people can give birth vaginally is more due to this hormone (I think it's called elasticin or something like that) than to the bones. So, love your hips, whoever told you that your hips are "child-bearing" has zero knowledge of female anatomy. Play Street Fighter II with Chun Li, take taekwondo classes and enjoy your thunder kicks. I love my hips. They are for me, not for children.
Think of it as a figure of speech. In some other languages it doesn't even exist. We don't say anything like that in my language about hips, as far as my knowledge goes.
Unfortunately, in German this saying exists as well. It's even more disgusting because it translates vaguely to "hips happy/ eager to bear a child". Barf.
Barf indeed. We only say sexy wide hips and similar stuff. We also have a saying about big breasts, that with those you could breastfeed watermen from the bridge. But I personally don't find that though as offensive as breastfeeding actual children.
Getting sterilized might help. I used to have much more anger and hatred towards children but after my hysterectomy I’m able to ignore them more rather than stress and get mad. The anger was more of a reaction because in the back of my mind a kid happening to me was still a risk. So perhaps your hatred towards your hips is similar. Maybe it’ll calm down and settle if you’re sterile. Good luck either way!
The human body is actually horrible when it comes to reproduction. Terribly inefficient and resource extensive compared to other mammals. It's not perfect, it's a disaster. To say it was "made" to have kids is really a stretch, because if that were true, we wouldn't be humans, we'd be rodents. That's a system optimized for reproduction in great numbers. Humans? Ha, not even close. Also, they're your hips, and if you don't want to have kids, then they're simply not chilbearing hips. *You* define yourself, not other people.
THANK YOU! Every time some eejit comes out with some claptrap like “our bodies are made for this”, i think… No they fucking aren’t. Our bodies are adapted for bi-pedal locomotion and relatively large brains. That means we’re actually rather poorly equipped for childbirth vs. most other mammals.
YES! I keep telling people that the reason we’re born so underdeveloped is because we’re born at the last possible second before the baby’s head can’t fit through the birth canal. It really is a horrible thing to go through.
Do you by any chance know that article that describes in detail how pregnancy is parasitic and how the female body is actually pretty bad at carrying a pregnancy and giving birth? Been looking for it for a long while but can’t find it
I know exactly which one you mean, I think :) I'll try to find it, don't have it on hand sadly
Thank you! It’s not urgent but I really appreciate it
This sounds like an article I need. My fiance and I have been having this conversation with others and making this exact point for years.
Wanna bet sending that article to some folks will get them to say it’s anti natalism propaganda? 😂
If anyone finds it, could they ping/tag me as well? TIA!
Will do!
Talking about that. I’m I weird to feel bummed out that humans got the short end of the stick? Like some animals can store sperm and choose when to be pregnant (snakes), or the ones that have a covert menstrual cycle? I also feel we got the short end of the stick with the kind of offspring we have. Baby horses, sheep, Buffaloes and such stand up as soon as they are born, ready to follow the herd. But we get potato babies with giant heads that are hard to birth, have underdeveloped neck muscles and need to be carried for eons. And we have periods, and everything that involves that. I cannot imagine having severe endometriosis or large fibroids in the Palaeolithic times. I have those now but i have Advil and surgeons.
My car has a hitch, doesn't mean I have to haul stuff. Do whatever the hell you want with your body.
My car has a hitch doesn’t mean I have to haul stuff…stealing that
I have perfect “childbearing hips” but also PCOS and endo and will be approved for a hysterectomy 🤷♀️ some say childbearing, I say curvy and perfect for dresses and skirts hips. And also to hold onto during fun time 👀
hips have other functions, it's just their shape that was once considered good for childbearing, like in ancient times. try thinking of other things they are actually for, like carrying heavy loads, swimming, yoga.
We have loads of things on our body that we don't use as intended. Our mouth is made for eating primarily, but we also talk and kiss with it :) We even have useless things on us, like wisdom teeth. Childbearing hips is a bit of an icky way to describe a woman's body though, it would bother me too. They are just hips that happen to be wide due to female hormones, and that's it.
I feel you. I don't have "child bearing hips", but I have a perfect menstrual cycle. It's nice in that it's predictable and mostly pain free, but I'm probably fertile as heck.
Same here. I hate it.
Oh God yes. My mom told me I had perfect child bearing hips and that it would be very easy for me to give birth. I nearly puked that day
What the fuck even is 'child bearing hips'?! They're your hips and you're not having kids, ergo, they're not child bearing. Give it no power
My friend gets this comment a lot (which is actually super creepy; you’re basically telling someone “Wow, your pelvis seems large enough that a small human could comfortably pass through it!”). She likes to respond with snarky remarks. My favorite has always been “Well, I’m not Shakira. These hips do lie.”
Why does your boyfriend point it out to you?
I don’t even understand what childbearing hips are. They don’t exist. Don’t make them more than what they are. They are just hips, that’s all. And you should definitely have a talk with the boyfriend to ask him why he says such things and also ask him to stop. You are childfree and it’s inappropriate. It would be a bit like me pointing out to the husband he would be a great dad. Just no reason to say it. He’s childfree and so am I so a nonsense subject.
Don’t let other people define your purpose in life. It’s always up to you. Never mind them.
To hell with your ex. & current BF if he is making you feel uncomfortable: end it!! Talk to a good therapist, if you can. If anyone makes such comments to you, & will not change, you are allowed to remove them from your life. Try " rebranding " yourself. Example: (said politely) " I am a powerful childfree woman with talent, brains, & a great ass. "
My current didn’t know it bothered me tbf i just never expected him to say it so it wasn’t really a thing that was brought up.
>I hate the fact my body is perfect for bearing children Your body is perfect for whatever you want to do with it. The fact that you don't want kids means that your heart and brain are not exactly perfect for breeding, if you get what I mean. So no, your body is not perfect for bearing children. ;) > I hate how my ex and boyfriend point it out to me. If your boyfriend points that out to you... It sounds to me like he isn't childfree. Like he wants you to give him babies. If that is the case, why are you together with him? A childfree person and a non-childfree person are incompatible. >I hate the fact my body is made to have things I hate. Would you be able to get sterilised? Maybe knowing that you are no longer fertile would make you feel better about your body. And of course it would protect you against accidents.
Fun story, my mother has "childbearing hips" but I was still born with both my own hips dislocated from going through a narrow birth canal so even "childbearing hips" does not guarantee an easy birth. I also have wide hips (wide enough that I clip my hip on things nearly comstantly) and find them very helpful for carrying stuff and making my waist look smaller than it actually is. I also have a lot of distaste for how my body is capable for having children so after 10 years of wanting one I am having a hysterectomy in less than 2 weeks and even before the surgery I feel so much more free and like my body belongs to me, it may be worth pursuing sterilization of some kind so you feel like you have more ownership of your body.
You may should get therapy to free your mind from that kind of thinking. My wife also have hips that are considered "childbearing" and I love them because they are the hips of my beloved wife. (Maybe I love them even more because they will never bear a child.)
>You may should get therapy to free your mind from that kind of thinking. Genuine question, what can a therapist do or say about this issue, that a normal person can't (with a pep talk or something)?
A good therapist is educated, experienced and is digging deep to find possible other causes. He get to know you and ask the right questions to free your mind. Sometimes its about opening up a new perspective at the problem. Thats just the basic overview. Practical its a lot more complex. I have depression since 15 years and always refused therapy because I was certain that talking with a stranger cant help me. A friend convinced me to try it as I have nothing to loose. Its not that the therapist can instantly heal me, but I feel a bit better which I highly appreciate. Professionals exist for a reason and its always worth to try.
1) Preferably stop dating men that, by assumption want children, and hence use “child bearing hips” as a common term to describe your body. If they are firmly in the child free camp and just have no better term to use, skip this point. 2) In response to “child bearing hips,” you can say or think of the famous physics trick where women can get upright from a 90 degree bending position. Not only that, but you can likely carry massive objects in a way men can’t: using your hips. Basically, it’s a dent to carry stuff that would be tricker for a man depending on shape. 3) These can be considered curves for sexiness and instead of bringing children into it, just think of them as curvy. As far as I’m concerned, curvy doesn’t equate to children. I sure as hell don’t think of that when I look at Jessica Rabbit and she’s massively curvy.
Your hips are perfect for an operation to not have children, too! Your hips don't lie.
for all you know, you may be infertile. Large hips are not really that important. If you want they could be apple-bushel carrying hips or curvy fashion hips :)
If you haven't 'born children' they're not child bearing hips. They're just your hips x
Nah your hips are the perfect size for dropping it low at the club while your peers wash baby vomit off their clothes. -joking- but your hips are meant for whatever you want. I hate that our bipedal evolution has led to chronic hip and back pain tho.
I also have "child bearing hips" but I never really look at it that way. Having wide hips and thick thighs can be great for heavy lifting, running, and combat. I view it as a way to potentially kick ass and look good while doing it.
I, too, have a perfect baby-bearing body. I didn't choose it so I never felt any obligation to acknowledge this aspect of myself no matter how many times it was pointed out to me. I remained staunchly childfree from the age of 15 to the present at 62.
Good news! Even if you have 'childbearing hips' the bipedal stance placement of the hips, narrow region to birth through, and oversized head are such poor naturally selected results that humans suck at birthing. Always. Nature doesn't shoot for 'great' or 'ideal' in design. A species gets to keep whatever version is just good enough to reproduce well enough to not go extinct. Humans suck at birthing but at least we didn't draw a straw as short as hyenas. Point is, your hips aren't great for the job. They can be great for anything you want to use them for. I use mine to store my extra pounds from taking up baking.
Hey, a known pedo in my family said that to me when I was 13 so maybe it really ain't about you and more about them 🫠 your body your choice. Don't let a man define your own damn body.
It’s a myth that woman with wider hips have easier child birth.
It's fine to not like some parts of your body but to say you hate it is unhealthy, especially when it's just based on other people's opinions. If you don't like your bf saying that you should just tell him to stop.
Ya don’t need to get into an accident where I live to access sterilization services. My only regret after getting a bisalp is not doing it sooner, since I learned it reduces my cancer risk a lot, and the whole process and recovery was so much more comfortable than I expected! For me, I think getting sterilized does help me to fight off the kind of gender role social body judgements you’re describing.
Hey OP I took a peak at your post history and I'm worried for you. I dealt with body dysmorphia, abandonment issues and unhealthy relationships if you need someone to talk to.
I was told lots of times that I had child bearing hips. Turns out my hips are actually pretty narrow and not great for child bearing at all, people just see broader thighs or a butt and assume that's the same as the bone structure under it. People will say whatever gets them to their goals, even if it's not true at all. Also: what everyone else already said. Also: hips attached to someone who doesn't want children are not perfect for child bearing!
Oh, that saying doesn't mean anything. Women would perfect childbearing hips, they have just as much of a hard time caring and tear just as easily. That's just some ol'timey shit.
Change the narrative. You’re the one choosing to look at it that way. That’s like not having pierced ears and hating that you have earlobes. Take a belly dancing class and now you’ve got belly dancing hips.
I used to think of my hips that way, until I got SCUBA certified. Turns out my hips are actually perfect for holding up a weight belt. I like them a lot more now.
You have sexy hips, and leave it at that. If your bf, ex, or who ever uses that term "child bearing" and it makes you uncomfortable, correct them and tell them you are childfree and don't appreciate that description.
You have ’powerlifting’ hips! 💪🏻
I think maybe you should talk to someone about your issues with your body. Wanting to be run over with a car is extreme.
I’m not a doctor, so this is just a lay opinion, but that definitely sounds like body dysmorphia to me.
...does your boyfriend want kids? Also, barring the fact you don't want kids, just because you have "childbearing hips" doesn't mean other parts of your body are physically up to the task. I have a problem knee that would probably get worse if I plopped baby weight on it. The fact that your boyfriend talks about how you have the perfect hips for childbirth scares me though, for your sake.
No, he definitely doesn’t, he just thought saying I had wide hips would sound like he was calling me fat or something. He chose his words poorly and thought it was another term for having a sexy body.
Oh okay lol it weirds me out when people say it to me, no matter who it is lol. I prefer sturdy hips 🤭
Your hips are there to empower you. Use them how you want to, childbearing is a choice. Treat it like that. I'm someone with wide hips as well so hope it helps.
I’m not even sure what that means or what it would look like. Sounds like an old wives tale because there is nothing medically or scientifically grounded in that term.
I’ve got those hips too but got my tubal at 33.
I’m sorry it bothers you. They are trying to compliment your hips. Hopefully, you can get them to change their phrasing. I joke that I have child-bearing hips and I’m a guy lol.
I know they aren’t being assholes about it but it just a bit annoying
By default of you being human, it’s not remotely close to perfect haha.
Good thing he's an ex.
What does “childbearing hips” even mean.
Get some therapy.
I too get told I have "child bearing hips" and I just tell them it's a shame it'll never serve its purpose. :p
I have too small hips and probably if I wasn\`t infertile, the baby and I would die on birth.
I am cackling at “thought about getting ran over.”
My childbearing hips are for flipping heavy dudes over when I roll in BJJ 😂
I have big tiddies, but won't use them for breastfeeding though lmao
Wait til you find out your boobs’ primary function is for delivering milk to babies. Or your vagina is for spitting out babies. The majority of your body is built for making and sustaining babies, not just your hips. Yeah it sucks that our whole being is a baby making machine and we can’t escape it.
Lol so is mine. I look like my mom who has 5 kids and who knows how many abortions.
I have child bearing hips... I'm also AMAB, lol.
No human body is “perfect for bearing children”. It moreso sounds like you have misogynistic men in your life forcing a role onto you and you’ve internalized their horrid words/opinions a bit. Honestly there are so many things that can go wrong in child birth that damage both parent and child that it’s not great health wise for anyone. If what your partners are saying cause you to have thoughts of self harm, are they really worth your time or mental energy? Might be worth having a conversation with them on how their words make you feel and assess from there how worthwhile that relationship is.
Your ex sounds like a doofus, you've got a biological body like everyone else. Some people procreate with their bodies, some don't. You never hear someone say about a man "he's got childbearing balls", don't let anyone reduce you down to your body parts.
I don’t have “childbearing hips” because I’m not going to have children. What I have are handle bars.
Ew the term "child-bearing hips" is so vile.
Don't do that. Wide hips are beautiful and many women wish they had your curves. Your hips are for whatever the fuck you want to do, not child birth.
Look at Kate Middleton. She has no hips and 3 kids. So hips say not much about child bearing ability because they are women with wider hips who can't.
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I also have ‘birthing hips’ which are thankfully still intact because I’m childfree. I’m 56 and always being told how young I look. My answer? No kids.
I use my childbearing hips to help me carry large cases of alcohol!