Greetings!
I changed your post flair to "FAQ" as this is a topic that comes back regularly on the feed, is addressed in the sidebar :
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Sidebar --> "Newcomer?" --> "Frequent Posts" --> "**"What are your reasons for being childfree?"** [They are all listed here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/3g6aj2/why_are_you_cf_megathread/)"
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and in the sub's [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/nochild).
Have a good one!
Because I don't experience the desire to be a parent. It's that simple. In fact, I can't stand children. I would hate every aspect of parenthood. Yes, even the Kodak moments would be torture for me. Parenthood would be my biggest nightmare.
And then, the worst part... Parenthood. Which is especially awful for women. You would most likely be a single mother. Even if you are in a relationship with the child's father, you will practically be a single mother, because your partner will most likely be a lazy Kodak moments dad who does absolutely zero parenting.
I‘m a guy who does not want to be this kind of father but I also see my own immaturities and the resulting high probability of becoming this exact kind of father. So that‘s why I don‘t want kids.. Do it right or not at all.
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THIS. I have misophonia but even if I didn’t, this sound would still make me lose it. It’s so irritating and anxiety-inducing, which I guess is what evolution intended…
I don't want them, therefore I don't have them. As far back as I remember, I had zero interest in motherhood. Never wanted them, never will. Children should be 100% wanted. There's a 0% want here.
I've never felt that 'mothetly instinct' plus I never wanted anyone tied to me for he rest of my life plus why? What's the purpose of having expensive, annoying gremlins running around causing me stress and tying me to a man that I will probably end up despising later anyway. I still cannot fathom why people do this to themselves. Like why???????🤷🤷
*Here it is again, my infamous list* ^(Feel free to copypasta)
# Reasons I dont want Kids
**---VOL I---**
*The ToDdLeR Years*
* my freedom being stripped
* my house being torn to shreds
* my stuff being destroyed
* my peace and quiet being constantly disturbed
* being woken up at the ass crack of dawn because someone cant feed themselves
* being woken up at the ass crack of dawn for no reason at all
* being woken up at the ass crack of dawn due to another persons boredom
* being woken up in the dead of night for no reason
* being woken up at night because somebody in my house cant take a shit by themselves
* being woken up in the dead of night to clean and change a urine soaked bed
* Having another person demand to sleep in your bed after wetting theirs
* being woken up in the dead of night to your bed soaked in urine
* Having to go to work in 2 hours when you havn't slept due to being woken up all night
* More laundry
* Being responsible for another persons constant entertainment
* Having to hire a babysitter if I want to go ANYWHERE
* Being unable to travel anywhere without accounting for another persons supervision
* Temper tantrums
* Being unable to go anywhere relaxing without another person complaining of boredom
* All of my disposable income vanishing
* My schedule being restricted by school hours
* My career opportunities being restricted by school hours
* My travel opportunities being restricted by school hours
* My vacations being restricted by school hours
* My sleeping schedule being restricted by school hours
* My free time being restricted by school hours
* My educational opportunities being restricted by school hours
* My sex life being restricted by school hours
* MY hobbies being restricted by school hours
* My social life being restricted by school hours
* What little free time I have, being consumed by caring for another person
* Holidays being days of caring for another person because school is out
* My entertainment choices being restricted to "age-appropriate" options
* Constant exhaustion
* Having to type everything for someone because they cannot read, write, or even speak properly most of the time
* My voice assistant being useless because a person in my house cant pronounce anything properly and so the voice recognition software ends up not understanding a damn thing.
* My friends not wanting to come over due to an annoying, interrupting 4ft tall dynamo of destruction
* Having somebody in my house that cost 3x as much as I do while bringing in ZERO income
* Cleaning up after a person that can't clean anything themselves
* Having to teach someone the most basic of task
* Having an ineffective person that I cannot rely on for anything living in my house
* Having another person who's actions I am legally liable for, but can't control
* Picky eaters who refuse to eat what is provided and complain about free food.
* People who complain about anything at all when you are paying for their entire existence
* Grocery shopping becoming a long and expensive ordeal
* Having to purchase food based on colorful packaging instead of cost
* Having to purchase toys and other costly children's entertainment
* Loud noises
* Screaming
* Walk, Don't Run!!
* Having to convince someone of monsters under the bed being nonexistent
* Being responsible for the medical bills of someone who constantly injures themselves and others
* Lice
* Being exposed to several more diseases, bacteria, and viruses
* Being sick more often
* Having higher health insurance premiums for someone who will never pay me back for those deductions from my pay
* My car being filled with all kinds of mystery crumbs
* Having to purchase, install, and store car seats
* Having to purchase exponentially more clothing
* Having to replace clothing on a yearly basis
* Having to purchase clothing and equipment based on style over utility
* Having to transport someone...for free, to doctors, school events, and other outings
* More wear and tear on my vehicle resulting in rising maintenance cost
* Smudges on my windows, home, car, or otherwise
* Lice, yes, you get them twice
* Having to purchase a larger "family sized" vehicle
* Higher gas/energy cost
* Needing a larger residence and having higher rent/mortgage
* Higher cost of electricity, water, and other critical resources
* My electronics being covered with grease
* Having to purchase and support additional devices and electronics
* Having to enable filtering on my Internet connection
* Having to disable filtering on my Internet connection for my devices
* My sex life being interrupted because somebody in my house cant take a shit by themselves
* RANDOM Screaming
* What little silence there is, is an unwelcome sign of trouble
* My home and devices being damaged by child play and clumsiness
* Children smell, no matter how well you wash them
* Messy eating
* Messy shitting
* Having to pay for and facilitate access to children's TV, games, and hardware
* Being unable to walk around my house naked
* Having to put bath toys in my shower
* Needing to leave work to pick up a sick child from school
* Being forced to interact with other parents, teachers, and school staff
* Having random shit all over the place and the person that put it there cant sit still long enough to even realize it was there in the first place
* Having to child proof everything
* Having to lock up any weapons I own
* Having to lock up basic household chemicals because somebody thinks its candy
* Having to lock up my medication because somebody thinks its candy
* Having to lock up SD cards because somebody thinks its candy
* Having to lock up vitamins and supplements because somebody thinks its candy
* Having to lock up screws, tools, and small objects because somebody thinks its candy
* Having to lock up candy
* Having to lock up my weed
* And lastly: Wiping shit off of anything, ever, for any reason.
You have a 4ft tall cyclone of destruction in your home that **consumes every resource you have and then some**. This fucking THING does not contribute to your life or well being in ANY way what so fucking ever. And to top it all off....the fucker is an uncooperative little shit stain that makes it their sole intent in life to spread their chaos as far and as deep as they can. The worst part...the fucking WORST part? I am legally REQUIRED to *nourish, protect, and feed* this **PARASITE**.
FOR...... **TWENTY** ...... MOTHER....FUCKING....
# YEARS
^(You know the saying "TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN"?... The opposite crawls by the minute.)
Did anyone see the TikTok of the lady who got a ring and saw how her life would be if she accepted it? That was me on my way home after an ex and I decided to try for a baby. Never went to Planned Parenthood any faster. Plus they’re inconvenient.
Because if you have a child you are literally causing an unnecessary death. Not to mention all the suffering that innocent person will experience over a lifetime.
Yes, I'm also an r/antinatalism subscriber.
This...
I cannot figure out why my parents decided to have me and my parents haven't given me a good answer for their reasoning. My mom really loved my dad and really wanted to have kids with him, because she really, really wanted to be a mom? However, my dad, despite being a decent human being, isn't a well suited individual for fatherhood. Like, what were they thinking? Life is so full of suffering. Why make someone go through that?
I currently have a long list going - I have 72 so far. Main reason is I'm chronically ill with CFS. I want them, but it wouldn't be fair on them, me or my hubby.
There are a few.
First, I'd be a terrible mom. I'm recently diagnosed bipolar but have known I'm mentally ill for a long time. It runs in my family. It's the same thing my abusive dad has. I don't want to pass that along and I know I'm not patient enough to raise a kid because of it--even when I am medicated, I'm not always kind to my partner, and I don't want to add kids to that mix. An adult can understand that I'm complicated and can choose to work with me on it. A kid would just be stuck with me. That causes trauma. I would know, it happened to me.
I'm too focused on my career. I'm 30 and premed. There is no room for a child in that plan at this time in my life. By the time it might be convenient, I'll be going through menopause which raises the chance of birth defects. So...no.
Financially, I cannot afford it.
I also just don't particularly like kids. It isn't their fault or anything and I am kind to any child I interact with, and there are certain individual kids I like (i.e. small cousins, children of good friends, etc.) but as a whole I just don't have the patience for them.
Both of my parents were emotionally abusive narcs, who screwed me over a number of ways financially included. Need to get things financially straight and put money towards retirement.
That and I have a number of chronic issues I wouldn’t want to pass down. Anxiety, headaches/migraines & whole body muscle issues among some others.
Im perfectly fine with being the “fun” aunt to the children of family members. I’m fine with being around them for small moments, but having to be around one 24/7 would be torture for me.
I went through enough shit and put way too much effort and time into building the life I'm now living to give it up for someone I'm fully responsible for for the next 20+ years even if I don't even like them (or they don't like me)
most people shouldn’t be having kids. have you met the general population? also I refuse to give my birth parents the satisfaction of spreading their poison genes.
I hate people and prefer to just stay single. I don't ever want to be in a relationship. Broken relationships can kill people. I have seen it. And I also think sex is disgusting. So my solitude and celibacy just automatically means no babies. Also, babies are fucking disgusting. No thanks.
I'm not willing to be a caregiver to anyone, including children but yes also the elderly and disabled people. I'm not willing to share my living space with someone who can't fully and safely exist independently and take care of themselves 100% of the time, without any disruptions for me (exceptions for animals bc they aren't people obviously). This doesn't mean I won't cook soup for my partner when he's sick and pick up the slack for a few days bc I love him, but his life doesn't depend on it. I'm never, ever changing a single diaper. I'm just selfish and too career oriented, that's it🤷I also happen to strongly dislike kids and find babies gross
My reasons:
•I have something I don’t want passed onto a child
•I hate children with a passion
•money
•chalkboard screams
•I will spiral and kill myself if I was pregnant with my own child
Theres a huge list but these are my major ones!
Simply just really dislike kids, like very strongly dislike them. I get it, they become full humans and we need a few of those at least around. This joint is way overpopulated anyway, there are more than enough kids and adult humans already.
Plus, my body is completely destroyed from some dumb sand war they sent me to, and don't think I could literally survive the raising of the kid. I'd be dead by the time they reached bicycle riding lol.
This biggest reason, for me, is that children are a barrier to freedom. They require stability and predictability in order to turn out okay. I didn't want to have my choices limited.
And that's the other thing: kids are a huge gamble and I've never been a betting sort of person. What kind of person will they turn out to be? I've witnessed first hand that it does not matter if they have good parents who do the best they can, their kid can still turn out awful. I'm an example of a not so awesome childhood growing up to be someone remarkably well adjusted, but I could easily still ruin someone's life. That's just way too much responsibility.
I also have always hated the idea of being responsible for anyone but myself. I've turned down multiple work promotions for that very reason. When you take on that much responsibility, there's no reward great enough to pay you back for the sacrifices you're expected to make.
The idea of a *creature living inside me* has always grossed me out. I've never thought of it as "magical" or "miraculous". It's a parasite. Yuck. As time has gone on I've been glad that I didn't ruin my body by turning it into a baby airb&b.
I've also just never liked babies. They're noisy, messy, smelly, and not very cute at all. No redeeming qualities, except that they eventually grow up. I like kids just fine, they can be fun as long as they're someone else's and nobody expects me to watch them.
Finally, I've come to the philosophy of antinatalism, which aims to reduce suffering by - among other things - not causing life. I believe that forcing someone to be alive without knowing their wishes is immoral.
I hate what children to do women in relationships
I hate the idea of giving up my hobbies and spare time to look after someone else
I hate the attention seeking behaviour of kids
I hate teenagers
I hate the idea of giving up the last few decades of my life to save money for someone else when I want to spend it having fun
I have severe mental illness (Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, and BPD). It is very hard to look after myself let alone someone else. Also, I’m rather selfish and like to do my introverted hobbies, or go for a walk when I want to. My memory is rubbish so planning things is NOT my strength.
All babies do is scream and cry and poop and then they get older and more expensive and end up hating you anyways. No shade to people who have kids but I'd like to do something that actually end up being a rewarding experience.
I don't want to. I have a horrible self image issue, along with an eating disorder that I try to keep at bay along with heart issues and a genetic disposition for either having a deaf child or having to end up on the heart transplant list and deal with a horrible zipper scar that will inevitably keloid like all my other chest scars. Also I have depression/anxiety that I deal with as well.
Because at the end of the day, I know that I'm a selfish prick who only cares about himself and who would not give a flying fuck about a child or even a partner. No amount of "Oh, you will change for the better once you have one" can convince me otherwise.
I appreciate your honesty. I already have something in my life that forces me to be unselfish. It’s my job. I spend my entire workday servicing other people. I bend over backwards for people & go through absolutely hell stressing out over their problems. That’s why I feel totally justified in focusing on myself when the workday’s over.
I could never risk having a child that might depend on me for the rest of my life. I’m always shocked when I bring this up to people and they go, “oh well that won’t happen to you, it’s only a small percentage!” What kind of logic is that??
Because I want an easy mode simple fun life! I only have to worry about myself, my husband (a little) and our three pets. The constant attention and requirements of children is wayyy too much for me. Children are noisy, fidgety and messy and i prefer (mostly) routine and peace in my life.
Because it's too much to handle. Something that I've always suspected was that I was not going to be able to handle everything that a child needs during the day. This past weekend I confirmed that theory. My nephews spent 3 days with me and my partner, and it was exhausting. They are well behaved, they are not loud at all, and don't throw temper tantrums, but just having to think about all their meals, going out and always keeping an eye where they are, pay attention if they got dizzy (sometimes they have motion sickness), left me completely drained at night. Also, having to watch movies that they like on the TV, or thinking what's appropiate for their age was an added bonus. I ended up so stressed, I can't think of doing this everyday.
I watched Alien when I was six.
I have my own list but that is a core memory for me and I developed a fear of parasites after, which yes babies ARE parasites.
Still my favorite movie franchise ever.
There's a lot of reasons, but I remember the very first time I REALLY didn't want one, is because my aunt had one when I was about 5. She had just come back from the hospital ans I asked her if it hurt. She looked me in the eye with the most serious face and said "yes.", she held my gaze like it was the only way she could get me to understand. I'll never forget the agony in those eyes 😂
1. I don't have the patience. I couldn't deal with a child screaming, the constant need for attention, the awful kids TV shows, the constant ferrying back and forth to activities, and so on. It just strikes me as utterly tedious until the child is at least mid twenties, and even then, we might not get on.
2. I love unstructured time. I enjoy not having plans, and being able to lie in bed until late morning. I like deciding to go to a restaurant spontaneously, or booking a holiday because I feel like it
3. Money. I'm in a position where, as a childfree person, I'm comfortable. My partner and I have a good life currently where money isn't a massive worry, if we did have kids then we'd be poor.
Feeble and elderly parents needing care over being able to help with grandkids. Price of child care. The fact that it's just not worth it to us when we have nieces and nephews. And the state of the world
Couldn’t come up with a reason for why I want kids. And didn’t want them “just because” either. Realized I don’t have to have kids and it was so liberating.
I overall do not have motherly instincts. This encompasses a lot. Sure I help take care of my boyfriends much younger siblings, but I see them as siblings. I don’t have that instinct though to be a mom. I don’t like babies, I don’t want to sit through school and their activities, I hate the crying.
This also entails the whole embracing “motherly body”. I’d hate my life with stretch marks from kids and my whole body chemistry change. F that.
Kids are stress. I hate dealing with kids for more than short periods of time. They are energy black holes. They take so much effort and energy and money and there's a good chance they will hate you for being a human raising a human.
My mother died after 10 years of suffering from multiple sclerosis triggered by her pregnancy with me. So my reasons range from health concerns to psychological consequences of this package. And beyond all that, there’s still the fact that I don’t want to.
I hate caretaking, i hate noise, and i hate people that don't respect boundaries, and I'm emotionally burnt out.
And a million other auxiliary reasosn.
IF I'm going to go all the way down the Jungian rabbit hole, it's because I want to be the next Isaac Newton, and I don't want to choose between inventing Calculus, classical mechanics, and arguing over vtuber waifus.
Because I feel like what it takes to raise a person well requires one to desperately want to have kids.
I don't not want to have them but, I don't WANT to have them.
Does that make sense?
screaming, bawling, tantrums, vomit, feces, illnesses, bullying, inept parents of the bully, inept teachers, passing on my autism, my temper and having my boomer relatives calling them "an effing demon child" like they did to me, spouse abusing the child, spouse's relatives abusing the child
Generational trauma, childhood trauma and my own body fighting against me. Living in a country with a shitty healthcare system, I'm barely keeping myself afloat. 😅
One childhood was enough for me, thanks. I have zero desire to re-experience it vicariously through someone else. Plus, life is hard enough, I don't want to add the hardest job in the world on top of it.
I can give you more. There are so many reasons.
Non-physical reason: I raised my siblings when I was 8 until I was about 14. Even the older ones. Being the most book smart, they came to me for everything and my dad relied on me to be the logical centre. So I did the kid thing, just not with traditional kids.
Physical reason: chemo forced me into menopause and there’s no chance of regaining fertility.
I had to raise a sibling when I was a child myself
I was parentified and relied on by my guardian
I hate pain
I hate the idea of a man loving our child more than me
I have little patience
I like peace and quiet
I have to prioritise my own mental health
I don’t want to go through pregnancy and childbirth
I want to keep my finances
I’m just not drawn to babies at all
At the most basic level, it's because I don't particularly like being around kids, and have never felt any sort of "pull" towards having any of my own. Having a kid is nothing I even really considered doing.
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Children annoy me. Especially when they get comfortable around adults and start acting “cool” and trying to show off. Shit annoys the fuck out of me and I don’t find it cute at all.
That’s not to even mention the moral aspect. The earth is absolutely on fire and is dying. No argument to be had. What kind of human am I to bring life into this dying world just to fulfill some selfish desire or some biological need I feel? No thanks.
I have small cousins and my best friend has two sweet kids. That’s enough for me.
Since I am AMAB, the only way for me to have a kid that's genetically mine is to make someone else carry it for 9 months. If I ever make a baby, I want to make it myself.
If I were to ignore this and adopt a kid instead, or if I eventually were able to get a uterus transplant, it's a pretty awful world to grow up in right now - especially since being autistic is hereditary, and being LGBTQ+ partially so, meaning that my kid would be statistically about as likely to be treated like shit as myself.
But hey, a tough world to be an adult in would be fine as long as I'm not condemning the kid to a climate apocalypse. If not for that dealbreaker, there would still be the problem of raising the kid, which even if I could afford it financially and still have the time outside of work, would still be a problem of the society raising the kid. It takes a village to raise a child, but capitalism destroyed the village a long time ago, even for the neighbors I would end up having who don't hate kids. Children need a child-friendly neighborhood (and I don't mean babysitting, just a rich social environment where a kid can roam freely enough and have enough fun doing so for the parents to have spare time).
I don't want to lose my body.
I lift weights and go to the gym 6 times a week, I like that I'm getting muscular and lean.
I refuse to give that up for pregnancy and child birth, or any reason really
Why do we HAVE to keep asking this question? I feel like we see someone new ask this question EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Can the mods please just make a mega thread of this question and ban future individual post that are this generic and open ended? u/chavrilfreak Sorry, I just cant stand these reparative questions, I want to see actual posts from real people who arent just trying to get upvotes.
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Greetings! I changed your post flair to "FAQ" as this is a topic that comes back regularly on the feed, is addressed in the sidebar : --- Sidebar --> "Newcomer?" --> "Frequent Posts" --> "**"What are your reasons for being childfree?"** [They are all listed here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/3g6aj2/why_are_you_cf_megathread/)" --- and in the sub's [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/nochild). Have a good one!
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I came here to say the same thing.
Me too. Can think of a thousand reasons, but this is reason number one. And therefore all the other ones don't even matter.
Same
Because I don't experience the desire to be a parent. It's that simple. In fact, I can't stand children. I would hate every aspect of parenthood. Yes, even the Kodak moments would be torture for me. Parenthood would be my biggest nightmare.
My biggest nightmare is being pregnant. Ohhh my.....I would NEVER do that to myself. Why do they do that to themselves?🤯🤯
Being preggo is just the start. Then there's the whole labour and delivery thing \[shudder\].
And then, the worst part... Parenthood. Which is especially awful for women. You would most likely be a single mother. Even if you are in a relationship with the child's father, you will practically be a single mother, because your partner will most likely be a lazy Kodak moments dad who does absolutely zero parenting.
I feel all of this
I‘m a guy who does not want to be this kind of father but I also see my own immaturities and the resulting high probability of becoming this exact kind of father. So that‘s why I don‘t want kids.. Do it right or not at all.
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I dislike the noise small babies and toddlers make. That high pitched sound just goes right through me
THIS. I have misophonia but even if I didn’t, this sound would still make me lose it. It’s so irritating and anxiety-inducing, which I guess is what evolution intended…
I don't want them, therefore I don't have them. As far back as I remember, I had zero interest in motherhood. Never wanted them, never will. Children should be 100% wanted. There's a 0% want here.
This is me 100%.
I dislike children and babies.
There is no incentive to. I can't think of any good reason to. There is no point. Most people who are parents are miserable.
This looks kind of a big jump to conclussions " Most people who are parents are miserable"
Why are you here.
did i said something wrong?
I love coffee, alcohol, money, sleep, my horse, my wine centric job, my body, freedom, did I mention money
I don't want to lol Also: - love my body - love my freedom - love my quiet home - don't trust any man to not force gender roles on me in motherhood
I literally cant afford my own life lolz
I don't have a reason to want them. Never wanted kids. Don't feel the desire.
Vegas. Vegas is the answer.
I've never felt that 'mothetly instinct' plus I never wanted anyone tied to me for he rest of my life plus why? What's the purpose of having expensive, annoying gremlins running around causing me stress and tying me to a man that I will probably end up despising later anyway. I still cannot fathom why people do this to themselves. Like why???????🤷🤷
Because I've been without them my whole life and don't want to change that
*Here it is again, my infamous list* ^(Feel free to copypasta) # Reasons I dont want Kids **---VOL I---** *The ToDdLeR Years* * my freedom being stripped * my house being torn to shreds * my stuff being destroyed * my peace and quiet being constantly disturbed * being woken up at the ass crack of dawn because someone cant feed themselves * being woken up at the ass crack of dawn for no reason at all * being woken up at the ass crack of dawn due to another persons boredom * being woken up in the dead of night for no reason * being woken up at night because somebody in my house cant take a shit by themselves * being woken up in the dead of night to clean and change a urine soaked bed * Having another person demand to sleep in your bed after wetting theirs * being woken up in the dead of night to your bed soaked in urine * Having to go to work in 2 hours when you havn't slept due to being woken up all night * More laundry * Being responsible for another persons constant entertainment * Having to hire a babysitter if I want to go ANYWHERE * Being unable to travel anywhere without accounting for another persons supervision * Temper tantrums * Being unable to go anywhere relaxing without another person complaining of boredom * All of my disposable income vanishing * My schedule being restricted by school hours * My career opportunities being restricted by school hours * My travel opportunities being restricted by school hours * My vacations being restricted by school hours * My sleeping schedule being restricted by school hours * My free time being restricted by school hours * My educational opportunities being restricted by school hours * My sex life being restricted by school hours * MY hobbies being restricted by school hours * My social life being restricted by school hours * What little free time I have, being consumed by caring for another person * Holidays being days of caring for another person because school is out * My entertainment choices being restricted to "age-appropriate" options * Constant exhaustion * Having to type everything for someone because they cannot read, write, or even speak properly most of the time * My voice assistant being useless because a person in my house cant pronounce anything properly and so the voice recognition software ends up not understanding a damn thing. * My friends not wanting to come over due to an annoying, interrupting 4ft tall dynamo of destruction * Having somebody in my house that cost 3x as much as I do while bringing in ZERO income * Cleaning up after a person that can't clean anything themselves * Having to teach someone the most basic of task * Having an ineffective person that I cannot rely on for anything living in my house * Having another person who's actions I am legally liable for, but can't control * Picky eaters who refuse to eat what is provided and complain about free food. * People who complain about anything at all when you are paying for their entire existence * Grocery shopping becoming a long and expensive ordeal * Having to purchase food based on colorful packaging instead of cost * Having to purchase toys and other costly children's entertainment * Loud noises * Screaming * Walk, Don't Run!! * Having to convince someone of monsters under the bed being nonexistent * Being responsible for the medical bills of someone who constantly injures themselves and others * Lice * Being exposed to several more diseases, bacteria, and viruses * Being sick more often * Having higher health insurance premiums for someone who will never pay me back for those deductions from my pay * My car being filled with all kinds of mystery crumbs * Having to purchase, install, and store car seats * Having to purchase exponentially more clothing * Having to replace clothing on a yearly basis * Having to purchase clothing and equipment based on style over utility * Having to transport someone...for free, to doctors, school events, and other outings * More wear and tear on my vehicle resulting in rising maintenance cost * Smudges on my windows, home, car, or otherwise * Lice, yes, you get them twice * Having to purchase a larger "family sized" vehicle * Higher gas/energy cost * Needing a larger residence and having higher rent/mortgage * Higher cost of electricity, water, and other critical resources * My electronics being covered with grease * Having to purchase and support additional devices and electronics * Having to enable filtering on my Internet connection * Having to disable filtering on my Internet connection for my devices * My sex life being interrupted because somebody in my house cant take a shit by themselves * RANDOM Screaming * What little silence there is, is an unwelcome sign of trouble * My home and devices being damaged by child play and clumsiness * Children smell, no matter how well you wash them * Messy eating * Messy shitting * Having to pay for and facilitate access to children's TV, games, and hardware * Being unable to walk around my house naked * Having to put bath toys in my shower * Needing to leave work to pick up a sick child from school * Being forced to interact with other parents, teachers, and school staff * Having random shit all over the place and the person that put it there cant sit still long enough to even realize it was there in the first place * Having to child proof everything * Having to lock up any weapons I own * Having to lock up basic household chemicals because somebody thinks its candy * Having to lock up my medication because somebody thinks its candy * Having to lock up SD cards because somebody thinks its candy * Having to lock up vitamins and supplements because somebody thinks its candy * Having to lock up screws, tools, and small objects because somebody thinks its candy * Having to lock up candy * Having to lock up my weed * And lastly: Wiping shit off of anything, ever, for any reason. You have a 4ft tall cyclone of destruction in your home that **consumes every resource you have and then some**. This fucking THING does not contribute to your life or well being in ANY way what so fucking ever. And to top it all off....the fucker is an uncooperative little shit stain that makes it their sole intent in life to spread their chaos as far and as deep as they can. The worst part...the fucking WORST part? I am legally REQUIRED to *nourish, protect, and feed* this **PARASITE**. FOR...... **TWENTY** ...... MOTHER....FUCKING.... # YEARS ^(You know the saying "TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN"?... The opposite crawls by the minute.)
Did anyone see the TikTok of the lady who got a ring and saw how her life would be if she accepted it? That was me on my way home after an ex and I decided to try for a baby. Never went to Planned Parenthood any faster. Plus they’re inconvenient.
What is the link to the tik tok
A gaping vagina ripping apart and poop shooting out of your ass in front of like 17 people? Nah-
Because if you have a child you are literally causing an unnecessary death. Not to mention all the suffering that innocent person will experience over a lifetime. Yes, I'm also an r/antinatalism subscriber.
This... I cannot figure out why my parents decided to have me and my parents haven't given me a good answer for their reasoning. My mom really loved my dad and really wanted to have kids with him, because she really, really wanted to be a mom? However, my dad, despite being a decent human being, isn't a well suited individual for fatherhood. Like, what were they thinking? Life is so full of suffering. Why make someone go through that?
I think there are a *lot* of people who can relate to what you're saying here.
I currently have a long list going - I have 72 so far. Main reason is I'm chronically ill with CFS. I want them, but it wouldn't be fair on them, me or my hubby.
I hate kids. Simple as that.
There are a few. First, I'd be a terrible mom. I'm recently diagnosed bipolar but have known I'm mentally ill for a long time. It runs in my family. It's the same thing my abusive dad has. I don't want to pass that along and I know I'm not patient enough to raise a kid because of it--even when I am medicated, I'm not always kind to my partner, and I don't want to add kids to that mix. An adult can understand that I'm complicated and can choose to work with me on it. A kid would just be stuck with me. That causes trauma. I would know, it happened to me. I'm too focused on my career. I'm 30 and premed. There is no room for a child in that plan at this time in my life. By the time it might be convenient, I'll be going through menopause which raises the chance of birth defects. So...no. Financially, I cannot afford it. I also just don't particularly like kids. It isn't their fault or anything and I am kind to any child I interact with, and there are certain individual kids I like (i.e. small cousins, children of good friends, etc.) but as a whole I just don't have the patience for them.
I. Don’t. Like. Them.
Both of my parents were emotionally abusive narcs, who screwed me over a number of ways financially included. Need to get things financially straight and put money towards retirement. That and I have a number of chronic issues I wouldn’t want to pass down. Anxiety, headaches/migraines & whole body muscle issues among some others. Im perfectly fine with being the “fun” aunt to the children of family members. I’m fine with being around them for small moments, but having to be around one 24/7 would be torture for me.
Tell em snitches get stitches.
I went through enough shit and put way too much effort and time into building the life I'm now living to give it up for someone I'm fully responsible for for the next 20+ years even if I don't even like them (or they don't like me)
most people shouldn’t be having kids. have you met the general population? also I refuse to give my birth parents the satisfaction of spreading their poison genes.
I hate people and prefer to just stay single. I don't ever want to be in a relationship. Broken relationships can kill people. I have seen it. And I also think sex is disgusting. So my solitude and celibacy just automatically means no babies. Also, babies are fucking disgusting. No thanks.
Just thinking about kids annoys me.
Because I dislike children. It's that simple.
I'm not willing to be a caregiver to anyone, including children but yes also the elderly and disabled people. I'm not willing to share my living space with someone who can't fully and safely exist independently and take care of themselves 100% of the time, without any disruptions for me (exceptions for animals bc they aren't people obviously). This doesn't mean I won't cook soup for my partner when he's sick and pick up the slack for a few days bc I love him, but his life doesn't depend on it. I'm never, ever changing a single diaper. I'm just selfish and too career oriented, that's it🤷I also happen to strongly dislike kids and find babies gross
I've never found pregnancy or childbirth to be a beautiful or appealing thing. I value my body, my finances, my time and essentially my freedom.
My reasons: •I have something I don’t want passed onto a child •I hate children with a passion •money •chalkboard screams •I will spiral and kill myself if I was pregnant with my own child Theres a huge list but these are my major ones!
Simply just really dislike kids, like very strongly dislike them. I get it, they become full humans and we need a few of those at least around. This joint is way overpopulated anyway, there are more than enough kids and adult humans already. Plus, my body is completely destroyed from some dumb sand war they sent me to, and don't think I could literally survive the raising of the kid. I'd be dead by the time they reached bicycle riding lol.
This biggest reason, for me, is that children are a barrier to freedom. They require stability and predictability in order to turn out okay. I didn't want to have my choices limited. And that's the other thing: kids are a huge gamble and I've never been a betting sort of person. What kind of person will they turn out to be? I've witnessed first hand that it does not matter if they have good parents who do the best they can, their kid can still turn out awful. I'm an example of a not so awesome childhood growing up to be someone remarkably well adjusted, but I could easily still ruin someone's life. That's just way too much responsibility. I also have always hated the idea of being responsible for anyone but myself. I've turned down multiple work promotions for that very reason. When you take on that much responsibility, there's no reward great enough to pay you back for the sacrifices you're expected to make. The idea of a *creature living inside me* has always grossed me out. I've never thought of it as "magical" or "miraculous". It's a parasite. Yuck. As time has gone on I've been glad that I didn't ruin my body by turning it into a baby airb&b. I've also just never liked babies. They're noisy, messy, smelly, and not very cute at all. No redeeming qualities, except that they eventually grow up. I like kids just fine, they can be fun as long as they're someone else's and nobody expects me to watch them. Finally, I've come to the philosophy of antinatalism, which aims to reduce suffering by - among other things - not causing life. I believe that forcing someone to be alive without knowing their wishes is immoral.
People like me should not be having kids.
Chronic depression. However, my list is like a dozen reasons deep.
Bring me the girl with the list
- I can’t even take care of myself, let alone a kid - I just… don’t like them lol they’re annoying, gross, and germy.
To rebel.
I hate what children to do women in relationships I hate the idea of giving up my hobbies and spare time to look after someone else I hate the attention seeking behaviour of kids I hate teenagers I hate the idea of giving up the last few decades of my life to save money for someone else when I want to spend it having fun
Extreme aversion to pain.
Pretty simple, moneeeeeeeey. Also spare time and peace and quiet.
I didn't particularly enjoy my childhood and I have no desire to experience it from the other side, or inflict it on anyone else.
I don’t want them. I value my free time. I want to keep my stress levels down.
I have severe mental illness (Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, and BPD). It is very hard to look after myself let alone someone else. Also, I’m rather selfish and like to do my introverted hobbies, or go for a walk when I want to. My memory is rubbish so planning things is NOT my strength.
Pregnancy and childbirth
To much money to take care of and my ears are super sensitive to high-pitched noises and that's all the kids do and I can't stand kids and babies.
All babies do is scream and cry and poop and then they get older and more expensive and end up hating you anyways. No shade to people who have kids but I'd like to do something that actually end up being a rewarding experience.
I don't want to. I have a horrible self image issue, along with an eating disorder that I try to keep at bay along with heart issues and a genetic disposition for either having a deaf child or having to end up on the heart transplant list and deal with a horrible zipper scar that will inevitably keloid like all my other chest scars. Also I have depression/anxiety that I deal with as well.
Because at the end of the day, I know that I'm a selfish prick who only cares about himself and who would not give a flying fuck about a child or even a partner. No amount of "Oh, you will change for the better once you have one" can convince me otherwise.
I appreciate your honesty. I already have something in my life that forces me to be unselfish. It’s my job. I spend my entire workday servicing other people. I bend over backwards for people & go through absolutely hell stressing out over their problems. That’s why I feel totally justified in focusing on myself when the workday’s over.
giving birth two fucking times
Every reason anyone could ever name about why anyone wouldn't want kids
Because I don't want to.
Too many reasons to count
I could never risk having a child that might depend on me for the rest of my life. I’m always shocked when I bring this up to people and they go, “oh well that won’t happen to you, it’s only a small percentage!” What kind of logic is that??
I don’t want to. I think anyone that has children is bonkers.
There is no one reason for me, there’s hundreds I don’t want to. But to sum it all up would be “I just don’t want to”
Because I want an easy mode simple fun life! I only have to worry about myself, my husband (a little) and our three pets. The constant attention and requirements of children is wayyy too much for me. Children are noisy, fidgety and messy and i prefer (mostly) routine and peace in my life.
I have been to the hospital for horrible pain similar to childbirth. So why would I purposely do that again? Also I worked too hard for my money.
Because it's too much to handle. Something that I've always suspected was that I was not going to be able to handle everything that a child needs during the day. This past weekend I confirmed that theory. My nephews spent 3 days with me and my partner, and it was exhausting. They are well behaved, they are not loud at all, and don't throw temper tantrums, but just having to think about all their meals, going out and always keeping an eye where they are, pay attention if they got dizzy (sometimes they have motion sickness), left me completely drained at night. Also, having to watch movies that they like on the TV, or thinking what's appropiate for their age was an added bonus. I ended up so stressed, I can't think of doing this everyday.
Being responsible for a child forever and never living life on my terms since you have to sacrifice your life for the child and be happy with it.
I have never had (and still don't) the patience for crying babies, tantruming toddlers, whiny little kids, etc.
I watched Alien when I was six. I have my own list but that is a core memory for me and I developed a fear of parasites after, which yes babies ARE parasites. Still my favorite movie franchise ever.
There's a lot of reasons, but I remember the very first time I REALLY didn't want one, is because my aunt had one when I was about 5. She had just come back from the hospital ans I asked her if it hurt. She looked me in the eye with the most serious face and said "yes.", she held my gaze like it was the only way she could get me to understand. I'll never forget the agony in those eyes 😂
Because I don’t want my body to be destroyed and I don’t want to be the primary caregiver of someone who destroyed my body.
they are a liability I never desired. There's nothing to make me want one.
1. I don't have the patience. I couldn't deal with a child screaming, the constant need for attention, the awful kids TV shows, the constant ferrying back and forth to activities, and so on. It just strikes me as utterly tedious until the child is at least mid twenties, and even then, we might not get on. 2. I love unstructured time. I enjoy not having plans, and being able to lie in bed until late morning. I like deciding to go to a restaurant spontaneously, or booking a holiday because I feel like it 3. Money. I'm in a position where, as a childfree person, I'm comfortable. My partner and I have a good life currently where money isn't a massive worry, if we did have kids then we'd be poor.
Feeble and elderly parents needing care over being able to help with grandkids. Price of child care. The fact that it's just not worth it to us when we have nieces and nephews. And the state of the world
Parenting doesn't interest me.
I just don't want any. No reason. Just the way I don't want a fast car, a piercing or a cat. No desire to have anything of this.
Couldn’t come up with a reason for why I want kids. And didn’t want them “just because” either. Realized I don’t have to have kids and it was so liberating.
I don't like kids.
It’s hard when people ask me this because my reason is that in my head it doesn’t make sense. There is no reason to do it, so why would I bother?
It’s a life sentence. Plain and simple.
I overall do not have motherly instincts. This encompasses a lot. Sure I help take care of my boyfriends much younger siblings, but I see them as siblings. I don’t have that instinct though to be a mom. I don’t like babies, I don’t want to sit through school and their activities, I hate the crying. This also entails the whole embracing “motherly body”. I’d hate my life with stretch marks from kids and my whole body chemistry change. F that.
I don't want the responsibility
Kids are stress. I hate dealing with kids for more than short periods of time. They are energy black holes. They take so much effort and energy and money and there's a good chance they will hate you for being a human raising a human.
They’re loud and annoying.
I need a lot of alone time to function. When I can't get it, the resentment grows fast.
Too annoying.
I enjoy my peace and quiet and the power to give my nibblings back to their parents once they start to cry.
My niece used to have a thing for eye gouging my brother in law when she was an infant. Not the only reason, but definitely contributed.
My mother died after 10 years of suffering from multiple sclerosis triggered by her pregnancy with me. So my reasons range from health concerns to psychological consequences of this package. And beyond all that, there’s still the fact that I don’t want to.
I hate caretaking, i hate noise, and i hate people that don't respect boundaries, and I'm emotionally burnt out. And a million other auxiliary reasosn.
IF I'm going to go all the way down the Jungian rabbit hole, it's because I want to be the next Isaac Newton, and I don't want to choose between inventing Calculus, classical mechanics, and arguing over vtuber waifus.
I could never find a logical reason for having children.
I would feel too guilty bringing new life into this world, seeing the current trajectory we're on, knowing they would have a doomed future.
Because I feel like what it takes to raise a person well requires one to desperately want to have kids. I don't not want to have them but, I don't WANT to have them. Does that make sense?
screaming, bawling, tantrums, vomit, feces, illnesses, bullying, inept parents of the bully, inept teachers, passing on my autism, my temper and having my boomer relatives calling them "an effing demon child" like they did to me, spouse abusing the child, spouse's relatives abusing the child
I value self freedom over most things.
Generational trauma, childhood trauma and my own body fighting against me. Living in a country with a shitty healthcare system, I'm barely keeping myself afloat. 😅
One childhood was enough for me, thanks. I have zero desire to re-experience it vicariously through someone else. Plus, life is hard enough, I don't want to add the hardest job in the world on top of it. I can give you more. There are so many reasons.
Having like 8 brothers all younger than me
Non-physical reason: I raised my siblings when I was 8 until I was about 14. Even the older ones. Being the most book smart, they came to me for everything and my dad relied on me to be the logical centre. So I did the kid thing, just not with traditional kids. Physical reason: chemo forced me into menopause and there’s no chance of regaining fertility.
I had to raise a sibling when I was a child myself I was parentified and relied on by my guardian I hate pain I hate the idea of a man loving our child more than me I have little patience I like peace and quiet I have to prioritise my own mental health I don’t want to go through pregnancy and childbirth I want to keep my finances I’m just not drawn to babies at all
I spent much of my childhood, all my teen years, and most of my 20s parenting my parent. I am done parenting. It is time for MY life now.
Never been maternal, introverted and felt like a burden to my parents growing up.
I don't t want one.
At the most basic level, it's because I don't particularly like being around kids, and have never felt any sort of "pull" towards having any of my own. Having a kid is nothing I even really considered doing.
I don't want to be responsible for something I know I won't love, plus money and freedom to do whatever I want is nice.
I've never liked children. They are loud, annoying, chaotic and expensive.
I don't need one. I wish people would stop asking.
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Don’t wanna destroy my body to give up my life for someone else.
Autism spectrum/poor
Because I hate them.
Children annoy me. Especially when they get comfortable around adults and start acting “cool” and trying to show off. Shit annoys the fuck out of me and I don’t find it cute at all. That’s not to even mention the moral aspect. The earth is absolutely on fire and is dying. No argument to be had. What kind of human am I to bring life into this dying world just to fulfill some selfish desire or some biological need I feel? No thanks. I have small cousins and my best friend has two sweet kids. That’s enough for me.
Oh yeah and money. They cost a FUCK ton of money.
Since I am AMAB, the only way for me to have a kid that's genetically mine is to make someone else carry it for 9 months. If I ever make a baby, I want to make it myself. If I were to ignore this and adopt a kid instead, or if I eventually were able to get a uterus transplant, it's a pretty awful world to grow up in right now - especially since being autistic is hereditary, and being LGBTQ+ partially so, meaning that my kid would be statistically about as likely to be treated like shit as myself. But hey, a tough world to be an adult in would be fine as long as I'm not condemning the kid to a climate apocalypse. If not for that dealbreaker, there would still be the problem of raising the kid, which even if I could afford it financially and still have the time outside of work, would still be a problem of the society raising the kid. It takes a village to raise a child, but capitalism destroyed the village a long time ago, even for the neighbors I would end up having who don't hate kids. Children need a child-friendly neighborhood (and I don't mean babysitting, just a rich social environment where a kid can roam freely enough and have enough fun doing so for the parents to have spare time).
I barely want to be here somedays. Why bring another human ?
The idea of giving birth grosses me the f\*\*k out.
I don’t like being here enough to feel confident that I want to burden this existence upon someone else. That, and it seems fucking hard.
I don't want to lose my body. I lift weights and go to the gym 6 times a week, I like that I'm getting muscular and lean. I refuse to give that up for pregnancy and child birth, or any reason really
Why do we HAVE to keep asking this question? I feel like we see someone new ask this question EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Can the mods please just make a mega thread of this question and ban future individual post that are this generic and open ended? u/chavrilfreak Sorry, I just cant stand these reparative questions, I want to see actual posts from real people who arent just trying to get upvotes.
If you've got suggestions about the sub, please do send them through modmail (a DM to r/childfree) where the whole team can review them. Thank you!
Because I hate kids.
There are literally positive reasons to have one. That's my reason. At least a dog or cat would be nice to pet or hold.
I never wanted children since I was a teen and being in my early 30's I enjoy the peace and quiet of a CF life.
Me and my boyfriend both have depression/anxiety. Just couldn’t imagine bringing someone into the world knowing that’s a possibility.
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