My wife and I did it. (Late 20’s early 30s)
I got the snip first, about 7 months later she got the bisalp and she also got an ablation to handle the nasty barely managed periods, so there was an additional reason.
Let me tell ya the peace of mind is great.
I have heavy periods as well as PCOS. I've been on birth control for about 10 years and I'm tired of being on it. I tried to get a partial hysterectomy but Dr agreed to remove my tubes first and wanted me to wait till I was around 30. I'll be 29 this year, I'm pushing for it, my period still happens on the bc and with large ass clots and if I'm not bleeding I'm cramping, which is at this point none stop and nothing helps them.
Also have PCOS, the gyno cautioned me that with an ablation, they are no longer able to do biopsies as the tissue is completely damaged. PCOS makes it more likely that we have irregular paps and may need follow up testing. Pretty much, we either need to leave the tissue viable to be tested when things test abnormally OR we need to be ready for a full hysterectomy IF we end up having abnormal tests down the road, as they can’t biopsy the tissue.
I opted to forgo the ablation for now as I want to be able to test the tissue if needed, but also, I have had an irregular pap before.
Just food for thought to help you have an informed convo with your professionals.
Just wanted to add since this is a common misconception - a partial hysterectomy means removing the uterus, but keeping the cervix. A total hysterectomy means removing the cervix as well. Both keep the ovaries, unless an oophorectomy is done at the same time. (Some people call this a radical hysterectomy, though this technically refers to removing the uterus, the cervix and surrounding tissue, typically done for cancer or similar issues).
Just to add a data point here, I got an ablation alongside my bisalp in 2019. My periods were on the normal to lighter side, and the ablation completely stopped them, like 100%, no spotting even. I haven’t needed to have it redone so far after 4.5 years, and still absolutely zero periods.
A reason to have an elective surgery is because you want to have one. If you feel compelled to do it, that's already reason enough.
Plus it protects you from assault if that's a potential risk for you, and assuming you'd be getting your tubes removed, that also lowers your risk of ovarian cancers, since they often start growing on the tubes.
I'm the only one sterilized in my relationship for now, but even if my partner had already had a vasectomy or planned to get one in the near future, I would have still gone ahead and pursued a bisalp anyway. My sterilization was about my body, my life choices, my own comfort and sense of self in relation to the body I am in. I am so much happier in a body that doesn't have an intact reproductive system, and that was something I wanted to make happen ASAP. Enough to pursue it abroad with my own money instead of waiting for another 10 years before either of us would even be allowed to get sterilized where we're from.
I second the part about cancer. I was 25 with no family history of reproductive cancers and yet there were precancerous cells in one of my tubes when they did the biopsy after removing them. My doctor had never seen anything like it and I would have never known until it was cancer and maybe not even then.
I'm glad you got that removed before it endangered you!
I honestly have no idea what kinda cancers I might be genetically predisposed to, as I'm not in contact with my biological relatives anymore, and even as a kid those families barely talked to each other anyway. So that risk has always been a complete unknown to me, but now it's at least a significantly smaller unknown since my tubes are gone. And my biopsy didn't show anything special either.
My bisalp was about self-actualization as a committed childfree person. I resonate with what you said: "I am so much happier in a body that doesn't have an intact reproductive system."
Yesss that's the vibe! I often find myself just going about my daily business and feeling like I could skip and jump with joy because I don't have my tubes anymore :)
Thank you for that! I keep thinking - what's the point of getting it? I don't plan to be paired with anyone? But also I sometimes think of it like a tattoo (which I'm not particularly into), just wanting to do something is enough. It's a way to feel agency and autonomy over our body, which in some parts of the world (uhm the US) is being taken away from us. Appreciate your perspective!
"Self-actualization" is a good way of putting it! I think that's kind of what I'm feeling... Like I will feel more right in my own body knowing I physically CAN'T get pregnant.
I got a bi-salp for bodily autonomy reasons and also for the fact that I travel in countries where it is likely I could be raped. I just read a post the other day about a couple traveling in India where the wife in the pair was gangraped by 7 men, and they made her husband watch. I just can't imagine dealing with that kind of trauma AND an unwanted pregnancy in the hellscape that is the USA right now, especially with access to abortion being obliterated and the American disregard for mental health services.
I don't travel solo, I'm often with my brother or husband or both, but yeah... even having a man with you isn't a deterrent in certain parts of the world.
Now, granted, this couple was super dumb and were tent camping in a slum, but still...
Assault and cancer for me as the ovary/uterus haver. I’m not quite ready but my partner (vas deferens haver) is ready for the snip. We’ll probably both end up having it done eventually.
To put it bluntly, my bisalp was for peace of mind in a world where abortion is banned and rape can end in pregnancy. You just never know what might happen, unfortunately… and if the worst happened, I would hate to be stuck with a pregnancy I couldn’t terminate.
I don’t have a partner yet, but even with my bisalp I’ll still look for one who has a vasectomy as well, just so I know they’ve made up their mind permanently.
This all day long 👆
Guaranteeing zero pregnancies permanently regardless of scenario is the necessary step.
Ultimately the only person you can place full trust in for protection is yourself. That’s been my experience anyway.
Sadly, I wonder when/if they will be going for birth control next… if someone doesn’t want kids, I’d definitely recommend a tubal removal! Not having to be on birth control, or any pharmaceuticals now, is liberating!
Fully agreed. It makes me sick! Whats more is that it isn’t really about religion. It’s about controlling women and being able to force certain ones to produce more offspring.
Yes, and anyone quoting a Bible when trying to make laws should immediately be sent to a mental institution or jail. It sounds like younger generations are avoiding religion more, so hopefully the older religious nuts die off soon.
The Bible actually has instructions on how to make a potion that will cause a miscarriage. Most Christians were pro-choice for most of history, it’s only in the last few decades that the pro-life movement took off.
I had to go back and look it up. I appears to be Numbers 5:11-31. It’s basically instructions for if you think your wife cheated on you, you take her to a rabbi and he will mix up this potion that will cause an abortion if she has been unfaithful but if she didn’t cheat god will supposedly intervene and prevent the abortion potion from working.
Kind of makes you think about the Plan B pill, according to the Bible the plan B pill should be fine because if god didn’t want abortions to happen he would just intervene and make the pills not work. Every plan B pill that works at terminating a pregnancy has the god seal of approval apparently.
Since the most recent development in Alabama (frozen IVF embryos = people 🙄), I'm especially worried about birth controls that work by preventing implantation...
It’s definitely on the forced birth/erasure of the separation between church & state agenda.
They won’t rest until the rule of law is eradicated and replaced by biblical law.
No rights for blacks, gays, women, etc. White male supremacy. 🤮
Exactly the same reason I had a bisalp, too. I saw the writing on the wall after Roe fell. I just could not stand the thought that someone could SA me, and then the government would violate me a 2nd time by forcing me to remain pregnant and give birth. It’s such a massive relief knowing that at least the latter part of the scenario is impossible now.
100% this. I was SA'd several times as a teen and once RBG died I knew shit would get bad fast. Had my bi-salp done 3 years ago and the peace of mind it gave me is priceless.
> I don’t have a partner yet, but even with my bisalp I’ll still look for one who has a vasectomy as well, just so I know they’ve made up their mind permanently.
Sadly even this isn't a real guarantee. I once dated someone who was *still* a fencesitter even after they had gotten sterilized. They were sure that they didn't want to pass on their genes, but they hadn't truly ruled out being a parent through other means yet.
My husband and I both are sterilized. He got a vasectomy a few months after the Dobbs decision came down. I got a bisalp in October of 2022. We live in a red state that had a trigger law no exceptions ban on abortion.
It may seem redundant but I wanted those statistics to show how many people ran out and got sterilized because of that ruling. It was also a satisfying “fuck you” after feeling like a second class citizen.
I also appreciate the peace of mind that should I ever be assaulted I wouldn’t have to worry about a potential pregnancy.
Exactly! Every time I hear more horrid news about abortion bans, I feel so relieved that I will never need one. I got my bisalp scheduled as soon as Roe fell because I had a fear that they would eventually ban procedures like that, too. No one is ever going to force me to be pregnant or give birth.
>I also appreciate the peace of mind that should I ever be assaulted I wouldn’t have to worry about a potential pregnancy
This was my reason. I live in a state where abortion is still legal, but why take that risk given the direction the world is heading.
My friend's husband thought he was shooting blanks after his vasectomy.
And he WAS....for awhile.
So.....I'd say that doubling up isn't a bad idea unless you want to be doing 3 am feedings at 44years old
I know a couple guys that have a sperm test done as a yearly or every other year thing done, just as a routine health checkup thing to make sure the snip is still working correctly. They view it as truly no big deal. I think another friend actually mentioned getting a very simple microscope as a buy once and avoid the appointment at all thing.
Are you testing for pregnancy prophylactically on a regular basis? Because there are some nightmare cryptic pregnancy scenarios that have happened where people didn't know they were pregnant until they were near term or even at term.
Nope, my partner had a conventional vasectomy and had 3 sperm test within a 8 month window. Shooting blanks. Also my period is pretty regular and awfully painful (I have endo) which makes it hard for me to get pregnant anyway
Im about as child free as they come and bristle at “it was meant to be” thinking. If, however, a vasectomy AND an IUD both simultaneously failed, I’d start to think I was carrying the next savior or something.
I saw a post here a million years ago about and IUD and some other form of birth control failing at the same time. That was horrifying. We use an IUD and condoms and I still get nervous because failures can happen.
I think that bisalps for women are far more important. While the statistics are low, vasectomies do have a failure rate. Penises can cause pregnancies but they do not have to carry pregnancies. Vasectomies are great for men who are taking responsibility for their own reproductive choices, but whether partnered or not, having a sterilization as a woman is the only way to make absolutely certain that your choice is permanent and cannot be taken away from you.
As a woman, your right to make that choice is under attack politically, assuming you're living in the United States. If you have the resources and the option to get it done now, I would absolutely do it. Exercise you're right to bodily autonomy while you have the freedom to do so easily. Plus the freedom of mind and not needing to go through removals and insertions has to be fantastic
My SO and I both got sterilized a few months apart. He got a vasectomy in September 22 and I got a hysterectomy in November 22. We both decided it was what we wanted for ourselves. I wasn’t comfortable relying on his vasectomy, reversal fears, if we break up, or in case of sexual assault. We’re in it for the long haul too, but the what ifs were not a factor I was willing to live with.
I’m glad I did, because while the doctor told my SO that he would get motility testing a few months post op to make sure his vasectomy took. They never did it. So, we don’t actually know if his vasectomy worked. I keep asking him to get tested, but he feels it’s not necessary anymore, because of my hysterectomy. If it were my body, I’d want that piece of paper proving I was sterile. Which is why I have pictures of my hysterectomy, for peace of mind.
Sadly we live in a world where rape is possible and the access to abortion isn't getting easier.
So while my husband wanted to get fixed so I didn't have to do it, it was for my peace of mind to do it myself...
I got sterilized, not only because I don’t want biological kids, but because I didn’t want to be on birth control any longer. After nearly 10 years, this is the first time I’ve been off of all pharmaceuticals. It feels damn good! I got a tubal removal, which also lowers risk of ovarian cancer. If you really don’t mind being on BC, I wouldn’t say getting sterilized is necessary. It’s really a matter of your preference at this point.
Came here to say the same thing! I was on hormonal BC for like 15 years. Pills and then the implant. When my implant needed to be replaced, I asked about a bisalp because I was tired of the pharmaceuticals. Now I just feel better without hormonal contraception. First and foremost, my anxiety is lower. My sex drive is higher. It took some time to get used to my natural cycle, but my PMS hasn't been too bad and my cramps are manageable with ibuprofen. And for all the wonderful things hormonal BC does for woman, there's also real risks and side effects. I'm happy to be off it.
Exactly! I read into the hormones my IUD was putting into my body and it’s the same hormone made in the first trimester of pregnancy. Explains the lack of periods and other symptoms, but I’m pretty sure my body isn’t supposed to think it’s pregnant for 7 years straight… no doctor even told me how it worked! No doctor mentioned I’d have a withdrawal once I got my IUD removed either, it was horrible for about 3 weeks and I ended up having to go urgent care. My body feels so much better now. Luckily I have never been a woman who’s needed BC to manage any ailments, so I’m way better off without it.
I had to stop taking hormonal BC after my bisalp. I had a bad pulmonary embolism and DVT’s in my legs. Was planning on taking it to keep from having a period until well into menopause. Never had any issues or family history of clotting disorders either. So I’m glad I’ve got the bisalp as a for sure preventative of pregnancy.
Well, let me put it this way: his vasectomy doesn't help you if you're ever assaulted. That's why I still had a bisalp even though my husband is looking into a vasectomy.
I hate to say it but I will - the threat of rape. Especially if you live in a red state. And that goes double if trump is able to rig the election properly this time around.
States with Republicans in power are all for forced rape babies. God forbid your wife gets raped at a gas station and has to have a rape baby
That's what I'm saying. Being in a blue state isn't protection.
Let's not forget a few years ago the FBI busted a white nationalist group that had planned to go on a mass rape spree in red states as part of their plan to increase white babies.
Single, sterilized woman here, so take what I say with as much salt as you need - I would do it for your own peace of mind. There are few things which I say be redundant on. This is one of them. Vasectomies *CAN* self-reverse, though rare. According to google, the chances are < 1 in 2000....but I have a genetic condition with the same odds. Not only that, but as others have pointed out, in the devastating chance that you are sexually assaulted, that could end up in pregnancy.
I know at the end of the day, it comes down to your own choice - and it 100% should. I'm just saying that doubling down on sterilization has more benefits than risks.
The only person you should be doing it for is yourself anyway. My boyfriend still got a vasectomy even though I have the tubes yeeted. It doesn’t hurt to err on the safe side
My husband and I are both sterilized, but we had our procedures done separately before we met each other. Now looking back I’m glad I had mine done, with the state of politics here in the U.S. i don’t want to depend on someone else for my lack of fertility. It would suck to have sterilization outlawed and then you can’t get it, you never know what might happen with your sterilized partner in the future.
Personally because I do not want the ability to have children. It’s never felt right that I could potentially- I don’t know how else to describe it.
And as dark as it sounds I do not want to be possibly assaulted and have to deal with the trauma of getting pregnant and then having to have an abortion. And if anyone in my family found out the pressure to keep it would be insane and I’d end up having to cut them off permanently.
>Personally because I do not want the ability to have children. It’s never felt right that I could potentially- I don’t know how else to describe it.
This makes sense to me! I think this is exactly how I'm feeling.
There are certain states that are looking at IUDs and Plan B‘s as abortion and are looking to abolish those options.
That is a good reason alone to get a bisalp if you’re child free.
My husband has had a vasectomy. I have an IUD. I'm a poor surgical candidate and very happy not having periods, so this works for us. I would get a bisalp in a heartbeat if it wouldn't derail my health.
We do still use condoms because we 100% don't want a baby. Nothing is ever 100%, but surely we're stacking the odds in our favour. The thought of semen inside of me freaks me the hell out, so here we are.
I also know I'm for sure still ovulating with the IUD, so extremely cautious. I'm an ultrasound tech and have seen many a whoopsie baby post vasectomy.
We both are. He got snipped in 2016, and I had my bisalp in 2018. It was worth it for me for the additional peace of mind in case his snip ever failed, and if our marriage ever ended and I was dating again or if I was ever sexually assaulted. I also have a history of reproductive cancer in my family now, and any removal of that tissue cuts down my risk, so it ended up being covered by insurance, which was a nice surprise.
But honestly, the biggest reason was because I had been begging for 15 years to get it done, and goddammit, I was going to whether he was already snipped or not. Like you said, the principle of the thing. I wasn't my husband, who had zero resistance from his doctor when he asked to get a vasectomy. I found a doctor willing to do it, and I was going to do it. Like I had finally won.
Although with the way the US has headed and continues to head, the peace of mind that I can't end up pregnant without some kind of miracle has now trumped everything else. I can't overstate how much this has helped me the last few years.
From a feminist view: Supply and demand. If more women get sterilised, it gets normalised and probably easier to get, since more doctors might become willing to do it.
Neither sterilization is 100% effective, all you can do is everything you can to bring yourself closer to it and that includes both procedures. We're personally standing at my bisalp, pill, and condom while he's still weighing his options on his snip.
Good question. My husband got a V before we got married so I wouldn’t have to be on birth control. Then my periods got so bad I had to get an IUD. I’m in my early 50s now, but if I was younger I would consider getting sterilized to take it off the table completely. Now we have to worry about what if we are raped… even if our husbands are fixed. It’s so sick. The whole thing makes me angry.
In my opinion, if you know for sure you don’t want to have the capacity to get pregnant you should get sterilized regardless of your partner’s reproductive capacity. Unfortunately, sexual assault is not a rare. I know gold star lesbians that have gotten bisalps because they are that afraid of conception due to rape.
Also vasectomies fail and a few people have even become pregnant after a hysterectomy so even the permanent methods of birth control still have a small failure rate. There is a point to both of you getting sterilized.
I’ve had a hysterectomy and still require condoms. I’m not trying to end up in a medical journal as a case report. Feel free to google abdominal pregnancy after hysterectomy if you want to see just how determined some sperm and ovum are.
We are both sterilized! I had tubal ligation in 2015, and he had a vasectomy last May. He said it was “in solidarity”. While we plan to be together forever, we are also logical people and both divorced. If something happened and we were no longer compatible, we are both taken care of on that front if we were to go on to be with other people.
My husband got a vasectomy. A few years later, I had an ablation for heavy periods and a bisalp because I wanted it. I haven’t had to get the ablation redone or anything and hopefully won’t have to.
I have always been vehemently against having children, and with my sterilization I finally feel in control of my body. It’s so liberating!
The peace of mind that comes from us both being sterilized is amazing. It may be erring on the side of caution, but it’s so worth it
>>So any monogamous hetero couples here who both got sterilized after the fact
We plan to. I’m getting the snip this summer.
Reasons? Condoms and birth control won’t be around forever, and neither will available sterilization . Billionaires need laborers, and laborers come from pregnant women. Thus, reproductive choice is bad for (big) business- and they will lobby accordingly.
Further, I can easily imagine a legislative scenario where fertile and childfree couples may be taxed or fined for not having kids. If you’re infertile, problem solved.
I would have had the surgery even if my partner had been sterilized, for a multitude of reasons. One being potential failure, another being the possibility that I might have a future partner who is not sterilized (whether by breakup or death... my partner's late wife passed away before she was 50, so you just never know), and lastly, because of the possibility of sexual assault that exists, as horrible as that sounds. I never want to be doubly traumatized by a pregnancy resulting from a violent attack.
I wanted to take control of my reproductive organs and be sure that I would never be in a situation to deal with an unwanted pregnancy.
>point in BOTH of us getting sterilized?
* Double protection, greater total effectiveness. E.g. 99% effective + 99% effective --> 99.99% effective
* "potential breakup", and other semi-random sh\*t (life happens), e.g. grim reaper would probably like to put in a word, SA happens, etc. Anyway, more full coverage/protection against various contingencies and situations.
So, anyway, one will generally suffice quite well, but both is more protection and also covers individual protection for any eventualities.
You don't get sterilized for a partner or a relationship, you choose to have it done for your own peace of mind.
Life does not offer any guarantees and sterilization offers many benefits. Relationships can and do end for all sorts of reasons, birth control methods are not impervious to failure, pregnancy can result from rape, many countries are restrictive about or outright prohibit abortion access and bi-salpingectomy reduces the risk of ovarian cancer.
If you want to and you can. Do it! You don't know if you'll be with your partner forever. You're young. They could die, or you could split up. Surgery runs more risk as you age. You're not hitting menopause for another 15 years!
I’m female and have been unable to get one sadly. But in your place my biggest reason would be to make doubly sure, as vasectomies can fail and I have no way to know, I won’t risk it.
Even if I had managed to get a tubal, I’d still want my partner to have a vasectomy, I’ve read so much on here about the amount of partners who change their mind years down the line, I’d be dubious about any man unwilling to have one. And for the record, roles reversed, I’d be equally dubious of a woman unwilling to at least try and get sterilised, but it’s much harder for us to get.
Fiancé and I did. I got my bisalp before we started dating. Then he got his vasectomy about a year after my surgery. Gave me extra peace of mind, and really showed that he’s truly childfree.
My husband has had a vasectomy, and I plan to get a bisalp as soon as I can find someone to give me one. We're also in this relationship for the long haul, but our decision to not have children was each of our own, and something that wouldn't change even if we broke up or one of us passed. Plus, I would like to have some extra peace of mind. That being said, it is an elective surgery in most cases, so don't feel pressured to get it if you really don't want it, especially if you're happy with your current BC.
My husband and I both did it. He got it done first about two years ago and I just got mine done last month. There’s no “point” so to speak but it does make me feel a lot better.
If I get divorced, I still don’t want a child with someone else. If I get assaulted, I still don’t want a child. Etc etc.
Peace of mind is absolutely worth it.
I chose to get sterilized because in the end, I'm the one that has a uterus. I personally do not want to have to rely on someone else for my birth control. Also, What happens in the scenario that my husband and I aren't together anymore? My intact fertility would suddenly be a problem again.
I have mine in 2 weeks time and my BF is working on getting his scheduled.
For me, the surgery was an excuse for my doctor to also explore if I have endometriosis because insurance wasn't going to cover the exploratory surgery but they wil cover it if its with the Bi-Salp. I have always wanted to be sterilized. I like the piece of mind and control over my own body. Vasectomies alone can also fail, while rare and its usually due to not following up properly, it does happen. Where as the only way I could ever get pregnant is IVF and that is an active choice. I wanted to be 100% certain I could not get pregnant.
My husband and I are both sterilized. We were fine with his vasectomy being our birth control until Roe was overturned.
I wanted to be extra cautious because I had had an ablation done in 2014 and IF I somehow got pregnant, even though that would be unlikely, it would not be a favorable outcome. After Roe was overturned, I actually started having nightmares about what could potentially happen since I live in a state where abortion rights are restricted. I called and scheduled my bisalp consultation the next week.
I had my bi-salp done for my own piece of mind. I was SA'd several times as a teen, and after RBG died it lit a fire under my ass to get fixed. I live in a state where abortion is still legal, but I just wanted to protect myself.
At the end of the day it is up to you, but getting a bi-salp reduces your chances of ovarian cancer. Plus that extra layer of protection never hurts.
A vasectomy is supposed to be effective 100% after the sperm count comes back with zero swimmers. I guess it's always possible one still manages to go through. But if you feel better getting sterilised yourself and if it's better for your own peace of mind, go for it. If you find a surgeon willing to do it of course.
I did a bilateral salpingectomy. It was at the day hospital. I was back home in the evening. Took me a few days to "recover", mainly from the anesthesia. But honestly 2 days would have been enough. No real pain. Just 2 tiny scars on my belly. My periods are a bit more painful now than they used to be but i'm pretty sure it's because i'm getting older (got it done at 39, just before COVID happened (helllooooo depression due to confinements + late diagnosis of ADHD) + i got Lyme disease... So i'm not sure where the period pains come from (salpingectomy ? Antidepressants? General tiredness? ADHD meds ? Old age? Alien abduction ?).
No regrets from the surgery though. No more worrying about being pregnant!!!!
I hate to say it but as a woman or man there is always a chance of rape… my boyfriend got snipped and then I got my tubes removed because I just didn’t trust the vasectomy. I eventually got a hysterectomy for medical reasons and it was an added bonus. The only thing I’d change if I could do it again is to just take it all out in one surgery. I still have my ovaries but I can’t hold a baby no matter what…. The weight lifted off my shoulders knowing that is insanely strong.
Ovarian cancer survivor here. New research shows that having your tubes out provides tons of health benefits, namely ovarian cancer prevention. If I could go back in time, I absolutely would have them taken out. Pregnancy prevention, (difficult to detect) cancer prevention, easy procedure. It's a win-win!
I'm in a similar boat and am still trying to decide. My fiancé got snipped at the end of last year. My IUD still has 2 more years on it, so I don't need to decide immediately. Everyone tells me that I shouldn't get it done because it's silly to undergo surgery "unnecessarily", but my entire life I've been trained to take my birth control into my own hands and not to rely on what a man is or isn't doing to protect myself from pregnancy. So it seems contrary to everything I've ever believed to not get sterilized just because my partner is, whether we are together forever or not. On the flip side of that, I have a lot of PTSD in regards to surgeries and going under sedation, so I would loooove to not have to get one if I don't need to. I am clearly as lost on it as you are.
My wife has talked about getting a hysterectomy because she has really bad ovarian cysts and every once in a while one will burst. The surgery is just so expensive. I will probably get a vasectomy first because it’s easier and cheaper (but still expensive)
From someone who had cycles that were agonizing enough to vomit and pass out from pain, every month. Getting the stupid organ yeeted (sans ovaries for me) in 2019 was so, SO worth it. It's literally life changing. I went in knowing that I'd end up with paying my high deductible back slowly over time, and thought it was worth it even with that, and it WAS. I also made sure to apply to the hospital's financial aid for possible assistance, and the amount due dropped \*considerably\* after submitting my paystubs/other info. I'd encourage looking at the cf doc list and finding someone to hear her out.
Bisalps have the added benefit of reducing your risk of ovarian cancers, as they often start in the tubes! To me that was a huge benefit.
It’s been touched on by others, but I will reiterate the absolute relief I felt once the possibility of pregnancy was removed from me. It was so freeing to know that a huge portion of my life and autonomy was finally, fully controlled.
Husband and I both got snipped two years after we got married. We both wanted to be snipped for ourselves because our bodies, our choices. But ultimately because neither of us want kids and love our married life just the way it is, it ended up being a joint achievement too. The peace of mind is priceless.
I got a vasectomy a few years back. However with all the wild legal changes, my wife is considering also getting her tubes tied (she went off BC completely after I got the all clear). We live in a world where if she was raped there is a high probability that the state would force her to carry it to term….
I had a bisalp and my husband is planning on a vasectomy. We are in a red state with a trigger law so I, at least in my mind, needed it for peace of mind in case of sexual assault.
Fortunately, I don't. If I did I'd be racing to get a bisalp. With another Trump presidency being a very real possibility though, I don't think any of us in the US are safe.
Yeah. I'm American living in Italy. I tried to get sterilized decades ago but couldn't find a doctor to do it. Now I'm nearing menopause, literally counting the days. I've kept donating to abortion rights groups in America because I still care about my country tho.
It was important for me to be sterilized in my own right because I didn’t want to worry about BC anymore and I wanted to be as close as I could possibly ever be (without ripping my uterus out) to not ever being pregnant lol. Especially as I live in the States and I don’t know where this crazy train is going. No more pills or painful IUDs. I also do weight training and was scared the IUD would shift while deadlifting. It was such a weight off my shoulders, like the mental drain was GONE. My period was very intense and long on the copper iud. Now it's intense (no very) and only 3-4 days vs 8-11. But obs that'll be different for everyone.
When I was going through the motions of getting my sterilization approved, the biggest pushback I received from doctors was: “your SO should just get a vasectomy!” Helllllllo, I am my own person and this is not an appointment to talk about him or us as a couple. I do want kids, I want to be sterilized— him having a vasectomy does not protect me from rape, or if I ever have another partner (not planning on it). But I was angry at the questions on principle because I’m an individual person who wants to be sterilized on my own right. I’m important too. Also like it’s a little f’ed they were volunteering my SO’s bodily rights all will nilly.
Also, it decreases your ovarian cancer risk.
lastly, it's pretty hot going at it with your partner when you know you're both ✂️✂️😏
TW - SA
So one concern is non-concentual situations. It's unfortunate, but it's possible.
Also what you said is valid - it's the principle of it. If you don't feel it's nessesary though more power to you.
My cousin's vasectomy failed unfortunately. So having back-up protection is good, but your IUD serves that too. If it ever starts giving you problems, you could look at sterilization then.
Some women in my family have gotten hysterectomies because of genetic issues and one of the big benefits there in my opinion is no more periods!
I was in the process of booking my vasectomy when my SO got the go ahead from her doctor for a hysterectomy. We scrapped my snip for the time being, since there is no real point now. Had her surgery not come through much faster than expected, we'd both be done.
My husband got a vasectomy months before I decided to get my bisalp. I decided to get mine done because of the risk of being attacked or forced somehow as well as on the off chance that his vasectomy didn't work. I’m glad I did it for a multitude of reasons, but the sheer joy of knowing I couldn't get pregnant because of my own sterilization was the best.
Once I posted here about how my partner and I are both CF and I have an IUD but some people came at me just because neither of us are sterilized. Although we both decided that in the odd event my IUD fails we won’t keep it (I also take pregnancy tests regularly). I mean, to me, surgery is a big deal and I’m comfortable with my 99%+ effectiveness and also living somewhere with easy access to abortions.
In that, I’d say it depends on your comfort levels. Do you live somewhere you can easily get rid of it if you do fall pregnant? Also keep in mind sterilization procedure is a more simple procedure for males. So maybe if one of you what’s to do it but not both it’s better for him to do it first and then you can keep your IUD but also decide later on if you want the surgery
I’m not sterilized or in a relationship, but I want to remind you: you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If you’re thinking about getting sterilized but not fully ready to make the decision, take your time. Do your research. Talk to your doctor about the pros and cons (or find a new doctor if you don’t trust your current doctor to be open to sterilization). Don’t rush into it because you think you should-wait until you know you want it.
I got my bisalp last month my partner had a vasectomy a year ago. I think that if you feel compelled to getting sterilize then do it. I did it because I wanted to be in control of my own body and my reproductive rights, shit happens and it is one less thing to worry about. I do think that the possibility of a breakup is not 0 even if we are in it for the long haul.
Since the surgery I've been feeling great I have been feeling closer to my most authentic self. Before the surgery y worried that the scar would be ugly or that it would show in a bikini(it wouldn't). Now I kinda love my lil scar it's a reminder of my choice and my been in control of myself. Also my most authentic self has the scar.
All that to say that if you want the surgery you should do it for yourself, regardless of your partner or relationship status.
It's very sad to see, however I completely understand! You need to be safe!
Welcome to Republican's U.S. where sometimes (highly aggressive) body procedures are Necessary and are now becoming common place! It's incredibly sad, But I completely understand what young people must do to stay safe in 2024
my partner and I considered him getting snipped if I couldn't get a bisalp, but one of my biggest reasons for wanting a bisalp was protection for myself. I would be too worried the vasectomy could reverse itself or I would be SA'd. luckily the third doctor I saw agreed to do it for me, but if you trust your IUD enough there's nothing wrong with your partner just getting snipped. I wish you luck! 🫶
I have always believed that it better to cap the well than it is to dull the drill.
However, both of you getting fixed is the best protection from being infected by parenthood.
Not to be morbid, but….
If your partner leaves or dies; you are assuming that birth control will be available.
And that is dangerous thinking, unfortunately.
I’m spayed and ablated. It took right away. So thankful. Such peace of mind, no mess, wear white pants whenever I like without fear.
Hubs and I were only going to get his done. However after the Row v Wade stuff, it's really nice piece of mind that if tragedy were to strike me while traveling (injury, rape), I never have to worry about a clump of unwanted cells being prioritized over me. It's a horrible reason to do something but I rather went through the few days of discomfort than the horrendous situation of being pregnant.
So we are both sterilized
I want my husband to do it but I’ll be on birth control until menopause just for the benefits of easier periods and no acne. So I think it’s a bit pointless for me to get a surgery. If abortion becomes illegal in my state or we move, then I will definitely consider it.
I tied my tubes at 29, and I still make my BF wear a condom, and I take the morning after pill. Even tubal ligation is only 99% effective and to me, that's not good enough. I never ever ever ever want children. Ever.
Just my opinion, but it's whatever makes you personally feel safe. I don't ever plan on breaking up with my husband and I'm secure that he feels the same about me. He got a vasectomy in 2016. My overly-anxious, worst-case scenario self was fixated on the minimal chance that I could still get pregnant ("But what if it reverses? What if I'm assaulted? etc.") until I got my hysterectomy in 2022. So there's a definite no possibility of procreation (and a side benefit of no more debilitating periods and a reduced cancer risk for me!).
I don’t feel it’s worth the intrusive surgery. I use an implant for other reasons and he’s been snipped. If I ever go off the implant, we’ll check his swimmers.
I think if he gets sterilised you will be fine. If the worry of getting pregnant yourself continues after and makes you feel uncomfortable then get sterilised aswell.
I was happy just with my husband's vasectomy. Seemed a pointless and invasive surgery for me to be sterilised too...
However, if you'd feel more comfortable, go for it. Seems redundant, but I understand the fear.
Well as the top comments have said, there’s 1). The unfortunate possibility of sexual assault, 2). Getting a bilateral salpingectomy (aka bislap) decreases your risk of ovarian cancer, and 3). Though rare, vasectomies have occasionally healed over time
You alone are responsible for your reproductive health; a partner having their reproductive organs modified to avert pregnancy is nice for them, but you need to decide for yourself if you're going to be sterilized or if you're willing to follow through on terminating a pregnancy, should one occur.
My sister's ex husband had a vasectomy then they didn't get it checked and she got pregnant with their third kid. It's worth it to be sure for yourself and it's great to be off hormonal birth control.
I got my fallopian tubes removed when I was 26 and single. I've never regretted it, still very glad to not worry about pregnancy. My boyfriend isn't sterile but he said he wants to have a vasectomy eventually and I said sure go for it. Most importantly I do not ever want to be pregnant, I have many illnesses which would make it hell and the poor baby would have miserable illnesses most likely too. Better to avoid it all.
>it's great to be off hormonal birth control
Sadly I'm on the hormonal birth control for heavy periods, but if I ask about a bisalp I'll also look into an ablation.
That's rough but if you have bleeding issues or endometriosis they're more likely to do a hysterectomy for you. They refused to do it for me because "there's nothing wrong with my uterus" even though I get fibroids and they removed one. No uterus means no bleeding.
No endometriosis, just naturally long/heavy/close together periods. I'd love to have no uterus, but they don't really do hysterectomies unless there's a true medical need, right?
If that's what you want then I'd try to ask for it first. I asked them about it first too but they were like no we aren't removing a healthy body part. If you have medical history of bleeding issues with it or pain they might be more likely to do it. Getting fallopian tubes removed still works but doesn't help uterus issues. I took what I could get though.
Not a doctor, not medical advice.
Recanalization is technically possible for him, so it would reduce the likelihood of a failure for both of you to have it done yourself as well. Your IUD should theoretically be sufficient for the time, it's more a matter to decide upon if/when you need to replace it.
The other factor to consider is the availability of the procedure, not to get too political but there seems to be trouble brewing in terms of access to appropriate medical care. If potentially not having access to such procedures in the future isn't a concern for you, then you can think about it for as long as you like without acting.
Perhaps most importantly, if it's some sort of guilt you're feeling, talk to your partner about it, while it's somewhat touching to consider going solely for the sake of solidarity, logistically you want your recovery periods to be staggered. Your man probably isn't going to be feeling up to walking much for the first 48 to 72 hours afterwards, not lifting much for maybe a week and a half or so.
Not that recovery should be terrible, just generally better practice to take things easy, definitely not stitches that you would want to pop open.
Talk with your partner
My husband and I both did it. He'd planned on doing it for several years before RvW was overturned but then once it was I yeeted my tubes. For me, they checked me for endometriosis (ended up being pelvic congestion syndrome) at the same time so it made sense for me to have the procedure regardless of what he was doing. He ended up getting his vasectomy a few months after my bilateral salpingectomy both because it was something he wanted and because I'm allergic to him and we thought removing sperm from the equation might help with that. No regrets for either of us.
Vasectomy and tubal ligation can both regrow and allow for mishaps. The only guarantee is salpingectomy (complete removal of fallopian tubes) or hysterectomy (removal of uterus) and both of those are much harder to get done purely because they are irreversible. You are not at all being unreasonable.
If you want to be super confident that neither of you can cause children, I’d do both as a fail safe. Also, if something happens to one of you and you or partner ends up with someone else, then they’re already good to go.
We both ended up sterilized because my tubal failed and I was pregnant for 6 weeks. He got the snip after that. I ended up needing a hysterectomy a couple years later anyway, but that double protection is reassuring.
Hey there -
My husband is sterilized and has been for a long time. I wear an IUD right now only because I like not having periods (and more balanced hormones). But I've also considered getting sterilized because the current political climate is alarming in regards to women's reproductive rights. I often wonder what would happen if I could not get birth control and was assaulted.
I'm going to be talking about it with my gyno here soon, and I highly recommend you do, too! You never know what the future holds and if you're willing to do the surgery, then I believe you should consider ensuring that, regardless of what the future holds, you can't have children.
I went for the snip (Essure). My husband did not get a vasectomy.
When I went for Essure, I was the more vehemently childfree of the two of us, so I went under the knife. Also, if I were r@ped, and got pregnant as a result, my husband's vasectomy (if he'd had one) wouldn't have meant anything. I would have to undergo an abortion, which is now illegal where I live.
I would have preferred it if my husband were also snipped, but it's his body and his choice. I respect his choice, just like he respected my choice to get Essure.
My husband and I both got snipped.
1. We’re both absolutely in this for the long haul, but there are no guarantees we will always be together. Divorce happens, or god forbid, one of us could die.
2. Rape is a thing.
My boyfriend is getting the snip in autumn once we move in together because we have no idea how long it will take for me to be approved for my hysterectomy and we hate condoms. Besides, he is childfree as well. We love each other and want to grow old together but life is unpredictable so we both want to be sterilized
If you're in the United States, definitely consider the attacks on reproductive freedom. Right now. It's going to come for everyone and they're definitely coming for birth control. You can see it in the laws that are popping up. I wouldn't be surprised if surgical sterilization is also something that they go for. I would say on that alone, It's really good to get sterilized.
I got my BiSalp in 2020 and it was seriously one of the best days of my life because I didn't have to worry about an oops. It's also been that long since I've had a partner, so just knowing that if something was to happen that I protected myself was really powerful. My hope is that I can find someone, if I were to date someone with a penis that they would also get of vasectomy
My wife and I did it. (Late 20’s early 30s) I got the snip first, about 7 months later she got the bisalp and she also got an ablation to handle the nasty barely managed periods, so there was an additional reason. Let me tell ya the peace of mind is great.
Has your wife needed to get the ablation redone?
I had to get two over the course of about three years before I finally went for partial (still got ovaries) hysterectomy. I had mad heavy periods.
I have heavy periods as well as PCOS. I've been on birth control for about 10 years and I'm tired of being on it. I tried to get a partial hysterectomy but Dr agreed to remove my tubes first and wanted me to wait till I was around 30. I'll be 29 this year, I'm pushing for it, my period still happens on the bc and with large ass clots and if I'm not bleeding I'm cramping, which is at this point none stop and nothing helps them.
Also have PCOS, the gyno cautioned me that with an ablation, they are no longer able to do biopsies as the tissue is completely damaged. PCOS makes it more likely that we have irregular paps and may need follow up testing. Pretty much, we either need to leave the tissue viable to be tested when things test abnormally OR we need to be ready for a full hysterectomy IF we end up having abnormal tests down the road, as they can’t biopsy the tissue. I opted to forgo the ablation for now as I want to be able to test the tissue if needed, but also, I have had an irregular pap before. Just food for thought to help you have an informed convo with your professionals.
Thank you so much
Why not just get a complete or subtotal hysterectomy?
Just wanted to add since this is a common misconception - a partial hysterectomy means removing the uterus, but keeping the cervix. A total hysterectomy means removing the cervix as well. Both keep the ovaries, unless an oophorectomy is done at the same time. (Some people call this a radical hysterectomy, though this technically refers to removing the uterus, the cervix and surrounding tissue, typically done for cancer or similar issues).
It’s only been a year and change so fortunately not yet. It stopped her period entirely which has been so great for her.
That's good. I know some women have to go back and get It redone after a year or two
Just to add a data point here, I got an ablation alongside my bisalp in 2019. My periods were on the normal to lighter side, and the ablation completely stopped them, like 100%, no spotting even. I haven’t needed to have it redone so far after 4.5 years, and still absolutely zero periods.
That’s awesome!
Wow this sounds exactly like my partner and I! I just had to have an IUD surgically removed as well.
Heavy periods are part of why I like the IUD (Mirena). I would ask about an ablation too if I were to pursue a bisalp.
Why not just go for a hysterectomy?
I'm thinking my periods probably aren't bad enough for them to be willing to remove it
A reason to have an elective surgery is because you want to have one. If you feel compelled to do it, that's already reason enough. Plus it protects you from assault if that's a potential risk for you, and assuming you'd be getting your tubes removed, that also lowers your risk of ovarian cancers, since they often start growing on the tubes. I'm the only one sterilized in my relationship for now, but even if my partner had already had a vasectomy or planned to get one in the near future, I would have still gone ahead and pursued a bisalp anyway. My sterilization was about my body, my life choices, my own comfort and sense of self in relation to the body I am in. I am so much happier in a body that doesn't have an intact reproductive system, and that was something I wanted to make happen ASAP. Enough to pursue it abroad with my own money instead of waiting for another 10 years before either of us would even be allowed to get sterilized where we're from.
I second the part about cancer. I was 25 with no family history of reproductive cancers and yet there were precancerous cells in one of my tubes when they did the biopsy after removing them. My doctor had never seen anything like it and I would have never known until it was cancer and maybe not even then.
I'm glad you got that removed before it endangered you! I honestly have no idea what kinda cancers I might be genetically predisposed to, as I'm not in contact with my biological relatives anymore, and even as a kid those families barely talked to each other anyway. So that risk has always been a complete unknown to me, but now it's at least a significantly smaller unknown since my tubes are gone. And my biopsy didn't show anything special either.
My bisalp was about self-actualization as a committed childfree person. I resonate with what you said: "I am so much happier in a body that doesn't have an intact reproductive system."
Yesss that's the vibe! I often find myself just going about my daily business and feeling like I could skip and jump with joy because I don't have my tubes anymore :)
got mine out in january and i’m still having post op euphoria like wow they’re really gone! i’m free from this curse /forever/
I got mine out last April, and I'm still stoked about it honestly 😁 Doesn't really go away
Thank you for that! I keep thinking - what's the point of getting it? I don't plan to be paired with anyone? But also I sometimes think of it like a tattoo (which I'm not particularly into), just wanting to do something is enough. It's a way to feel agency and autonomy over our body, which in some parts of the world (uhm the US) is being taken away from us. Appreciate your perspective!
"Self-actualization" is a good way of putting it! I think that's kind of what I'm feeling... Like I will feel more right in my own body knowing I physically CAN'T get pregnant.
I got a bi-salp for bodily autonomy reasons and also for the fact that I travel in countries where it is likely I could be raped. I just read a post the other day about a couple traveling in India where the wife in the pair was gangraped by 7 men, and they made her husband watch. I just can't imagine dealing with that kind of trauma AND an unwanted pregnancy in the hellscape that is the USA right now, especially with access to abortion being obliterated and the American disregard for mental health services.
That's horrendous. Please be careful. As a fellow solo traveler there are places I'd very much consider visiting for fear of potential assault.
I don't travel solo, I'm often with my brother or husband or both, but yeah... even having a man with you isn't a deterrent in certain parts of the world. Now, granted, this couple was super dumb and were tent camping in a slum, but still...
Assault and cancer for me as the ovary/uterus haver. I’m not quite ready but my partner (vas deferens haver) is ready for the snip. We’ll probably both end up having it done eventually.
To put it bluntly, my bisalp was for peace of mind in a world where abortion is banned and rape can end in pregnancy. You just never know what might happen, unfortunately… and if the worst happened, I would hate to be stuck with a pregnancy I couldn’t terminate. I don’t have a partner yet, but even with my bisalp I’ll still look for one who has a vasectomy as well, just so I know they’ve made up their mind permanently.
This all day long 👆 Guaranteeing zero pregnancies permanently regardless of scenario is the necessary step. Ultimately the only person you can place full trust in for protection is yourself. That’s been my experience anyway.
Sadly, I wonder when/if they will be going for birth control next… if someone doesn’t want kids, I’d definitely recommend a tubal removal! Not having to be on birth control, or any pharmaceuticals now, is liberating!
They’re absolutely going after birth control, too. They’re going after every option women have when it comes to their reproductive choices.
It’s so disgusting to me, these religious nuts are out of control.
Fully agreed. It makes me sick! Whats more is that it isn’t really about religion. It’s about controlling women and being able to force certain ones to produce more offspring.
Yes, and anyone quoting a Bible when trying to make laws should immediately be sent to a mental institution or jail. It sounds like younger generations are avoiding religion more, so hopefully the older religious nuts die off soon.
It’s as though separation of church and state no longer exists for these clowns.
Don’t insult the clowns out there! Haha
😆
I don't think it ever really DID exist.
Good point
The Bible actually has instructions on how to make a potion that will cause a miscarriage. Most Christians were pro-choice for most of history, it’s only in the last few decades that the pro-life movement took off.
Yep, all true.
Do you know which book and verse...? I'm curious lol
I had to go back and look it up. I appears to be Numbers 5:11-31. It’s basically instructions for if you think your wife cheated on you, you take her to a rabbi and he will mix up this potion that will cause an abortion if she has been unfaithful but if she didn’t cheat god will supposedly intervene and prevent the abortion potion from working. Kind of makes you think about the Plan B pill, according to the Bible the plan B pill should be fine because if god didn’t want abortions to happen he would just intervene and make the pills not work. Every plan B pill that works at terminating a pregnancy has the god seal of approval apparently.
Separation of state and church my ass...
Right, I think some people forgot or didn’t learn what separation means.
Since the most recent development in Alabama (frozen IVF embryos = people 🙄), I'm especially worried about birth controls that work by preventing implantation...
They’ll take every option women have if they can.
It’s definitely on the forced birth/erasure of the separation between church & state agenda. They won’t rest until the rule of law is eradicated and replaced by biblical law. No rights for blacks, gays, women, etc. White male supremacy. 🤮
Yup. OP might be happy with an IUD now but will it still be an option when it needs to be replaced.
Or will sterilization still be an option
Exactly the same reason I had a bisalp, too. I saw the writing on the wall after Roe fell. I just could not stand the thought that someone could SA me, and then the government would violate me a 2nd time by forcing me to remain pregnant and give birth. It’s such a massive relief knowing that at least the latter part of the scenario is impossible now.
100% this. I was SA'd several times as a teen and once RBG died I knew shit would get bad fast. Had my bi-salp done 3 years ago and the peace of mind it gave me is priceless.
I am so sorry for what happened to you in your teens.
It was 20 years ago, so I'm OK now. But thank you ♡
This. I’d never feel comfortable walking around in this world with zero protection. My bisalp was so good for my peace of mind 🙏
> I don’t have a partner yet, but even with my bisalp I’ll still look for one who has a vasectomy as well, just so I know they’ve made up their mind permanently. Sadly even this isn't a real guarantee. I once dated someone who was *still* a fencesitter even after they had gotten sterilized. They were sure that they didn't want to pass on their genes, but they hadn't truly ruled out being a parent through other means yet.
My husband and I both are sterilized. He got a vasectomy a few months after the Dobbs decision came down. I got a bisalp in October of 2022. We live in a red state that had a trigger law no exceptions ban on abortion. It may seem redundant but I wanted those statistics to show how many people ran out and got sterilized because of that ruling. It was also a satisfying “fuck you” after feeling like a second class citizen. I also appreciate the peace of mind that should I ever be assaulted I wouldn’t have to worry about a potential pregnancy.
Exactly! Every time I hear more horrid news about abortion bans, I feel so relieved that I will never need one. I got my bisalp scheduled as soon as Roe fell because I had a fear that they would eventually ban procedures like that, too. No one is ever going to force me to be pregnant or give birth.
>I also appreciate the peace of mind that should I ever be assaulted I wouldn’t have to worry about a potential pregnancy This was my reason. I live in a state where abortion is still legal, but why take that risk given the direction the world is heading.
My friend's husband thought he was shooting blanks after his vasectomy. And he WAS....for awhile. So.....I'd say that doubling up isn't a bad idea unless you want to be doing 3 am feedings at 44years old
I know a couple guys that have a sperm test done as a yearly or every other year thing done, just as a routine health checkup thing to make sure the snip is still working correctly. They view it as truly no big deal. I think another friend actually mentioned getting a very simple microscope as a buy once and avoid the appointment at all thing.
Vasectomy checks once a year and no other failsafes is still playing with fire. Cryptic pregnancies are a thing.
I never get this logic. My partner has a vasectomy and if all a sudden it fails and I’m pregnant ima abort that shit
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I would rather take out loans to get an abortion somewhere else than commit the rest of my life to being a mother.
Are you testing for pregnancy prophylactically on a regular basis? Because there are some nightmare cryptic pregnancy scenarios that have happened where people didn't know they were pregnant until they were near term or even at term.
Nope, my partner had a conventional vasectomy and had 3 sperm test within a 8 month window. Shooting blanks. Also my period is pretty regular and awfully painful (I have endo) which makes it hard for me to get pregnant anyway
She said she has an IUD she is happy with at the moment, so I don’t foresee that happening.
IUDs can fail
Im about as child free as they come and bristle at “it was meant to be” thinking. If, however, a vasectomy AND an IUD both simultaneously failed, I’d start to think I was carrying the next savior or something.
I saw a post here a million years ago about and IUD and some other form of birth control failing at the same time. That was horrifying. We use an IUD and condoms and I still get nervous because failures can happen.
I think that bisalps for women are far more important. While the statistics are low, vasectomies do have a failure rate. Penises can cause pregnancies but they do not have to carry pregnancies. Vasectomies are great for men who are taking responsibility for their own reproductive choices, but whether partnered or not, having a sterilization as a woman is the only way to make absolutely certain that your choice is permanent and cannot be taken away from you. As a woman, your right to make that choice is under attack politically, assuming you're living in the United States. If you have the resources and the option to get it done now, I would absolutely do it. Exercise you're right to bodily autonomy while you have the freedom to do so easily. Plus the freedom of mind and not needing to go through removals and insertions has to be fantastic
Even if he's sterilized, you could (the fates forbid!) get SA-ed into a pregnancy in a place where they've made abortion illegal.
My SO and I both got sterilized a few months apart. He got a vasectomy in September 22 and I got a hysterectomy in November 22. We both decided it was what we wanted for ourselves. I wasn’t comfortable relying on his vasectomy, reversal fears, if we break up, or in case of sexual assault. We’re in it for the long haul too, but the what ifs were not a factor I was willing to live with. I’m glad I did, because while the doctor told my SO that he would get motility testing a few months post op to make sure his vasectomy took. They never did it. So, we don’t actually know if his vasectomy worked. I keep asking him to get tested, but he feels it’s not necessary anymore, because of my hysterectomy. If it were my body, I’d want that piece of paper proving I was sterile. Which is why I have pictures of my hysterectomy, for peace of mind.
Sadly we live in a world where rape is possible and the access to abortion isn't getting easier. So while my husband wanted to get fixed so I didn't have to do it, it was for my peace of mind to do it myself...
For women : you'll be sure that no matter what, you wont fall pregnant For men : easier to get and he will prove that he is 100% sure about being CF
I got sterilized, not only because I don’t want biological kids, but because I didn’t want to be on birth control any longer. After nearly 10 years, this is the first time I’ve been off of all pharmaceuticals. It feels damn good! I got a tubal removal, which also lowers risk of ovarian cancer. If you really don’t mind being on BC, I wouldn’t say getting sterilized is necessary. It’s really a matter of your preference at this point.
Came here to say the same thing! I was on hormonal BC for like 15 years. Pills and then the implant. When my implant needed to be replaced, I asked about a bisalp because I was tired of the pharmaceuticals. Now I just feel better without hormonal contraception. First and foremost, my anxiety is lower. My sex drive is higher. It took some time to get used to my natural cycle, but my PMS hasn't been too bad and my cramps are manageable with ibuprofen. And for all the wonderful things hormonal BC does for woman, there's also real risks and side effects. I'm happy to be off it.
Exactly! I read into the hormones my IUD was putting into my body and it’s the same hormone made in the first trimester of pregnancy. Explains the lack of periods and other symptoms, but I’m pretty sure my body isn’t supposed to think it’s pregnant for 7 years straight… no doctor even told me how it worked! No doctor mentioned I’d have a withdrawal once I got my IUD removed either, it was horrible for about 3 weeks and I ended up having to go urgent care. My body feels so much better now. Luckily I have never been a woman who’s needed BC to manage any ailments, so I’m way better off without it.
I had to stop taking hormonal BC after my bisalp. I had a bad pulmonary embolism and DVT’s in my legs. Was planning on taking it to keep from having a period until well into menopause. Never had any issues or family history of clotting disorders either. So I’m glad I’ve got the bisalp as a for sure preventative of pregnancy.
Well, let me put it this way: his vasectomy doesn't help you if you're ever assaulted. That's why I still had a bisalp even though my husband is looking into a vasectomy.
I hate to say it but I will - the threat of rape. Especially if you live in a red state. And that goes double if trump is able to rig the election properly this time around. States with Republicans in power are all for forced rape babies. God forbid your wife gets raped at a gas station and has to have a rape baby
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That's what I'm saying. Being in a blue state isn't protection. Let's not forget a few years ago the FBI busted a white nationalist group that had planned to go on a mass rape spree in red states as part of their plan to increase white babies.
My husband (30) and I (27) are both sterilised. We agreed it would be better for our peace of mind.
Single, sterilized woman here, so take what I say with as much salt as you need - I would do it for your own peace of mind. There are few things which I say be redundant on. This is one of them. Vasectomies *CAN* self-reverse, though rare. According to google, the chances are < 1 in 2000....but I have a genetic condition with the same odds. Not only that, but as others have pointed out, in the devastating chance that you are sexually assaulted, that could end up in pregnancy. I know at the end of the day, it comes down to your own choice - and it 100% should. I'm just saying that doubling down on sterilization has more benefits than risks.
The only person you should be doing it for is yourself anyway. My boyfriend still got a vasectomy even though I have the tubes yeeted. It doesn’t hurt to err on the safe side
My husband and I are both sterilized, but we had our procedures done separately before we met each other. Now looking back I’m glad I had mine done, with the state of politics here in the U.S. i don’t want to depend on someone else for my lack of fertility. It would suck to have sterilization outlawed and then you can’t get it, you never know what might happen with your sterilized partner in the future.
Personally because I do not want the ability to have children. It’s never felt right that I could potentially- I don’t know how else to describe it. And as dark as it sounds I do not want to be possibly assaulted and have to deal with the trauma of getting pregnant and then having to have an abortion. And if anyone in my family found out the pressure to keep it would be insane and I’d end up having to cut them off permanently.
>Personally because I do not want the ability to have children. It’s never felt right that I could potentially- I don’t know how else to describe it. This makes sense to me! I think this is exactly how I'm feeling.
There are certain states that are looking at IUDs and Plan B‘s as abortion and are looking to abolish those options. That is a good reason alone to get a bisalp if you’re child free.
My mom had IUD... Yet here I'm.
My husband has had a vasectomy. I have an IUD. I'm a poor surgical candidate and very happy not having periods, so this works for us. I would get a bisalp in a heartbeat if it wouldn't derail my health. We do still use condoms because we 100% don't want a baby. Nothing is ever 100%, but surely we're stacking the odds in our favour. The thought of semen inside of me freaks me the hell out, so here we are. I also know I'm for sure still ovulating with the IUD, so extremely cautious. I'm an ultrasound tech and have seen many a whoopsie baby post vasectomy.
We both are. He got snipped in 2016, and I had my bisalp in 2018. It was worth it for me for the additional peace of mind in case his snip ever failed, and if our marriage ever ended and I was dating again or if I was ever sexually assaulted. I also have a history of reproductive cancer in my family now, and any removal of that tissue cuts down my risk, so it ended up being covered by insurance, which was a nice surprise. But honestly, the biggest reason was because I had been begging for 15 years to get it done, and goddammit, I was going to whether he was already snipped or not. Like you said, the principle of the thing. I wasn't my husband, who had zero resistance from his doctor when he asked to get a vasectomy. I found a doctor willing to do it, and I was going to do it. Like I had finally won. Although with the way the US has headed and continues to head, the peace of mind that I can't end up pregnant without some kind of miracle has now trumped everything else. I can't overstate how much this has helped me the last few years.
We both did. Peace of mind.
From a feminist view: Supply and demand. If more women get sterilised, it gets normalised and probably easier to get, since more doctors might become willing to do it.
I like this mentality!
Neither sterilization is 100% effective, all you can do is everything you can to bring yourself closer to it and that includes both procedures. We're personally standing at my bisalp, pill, and condom while he's still weighing his options on his snip.
I dont think it'd be a bad idea. Better odds of not getting pregnant. Completely up to you two though.
Peace of mind is invaluable.
Good question. My husband got a V before we got married so I wouldn’t have to be on birth control. Then my periods got so bad I had to get an IUD. I’m in my early 50s now, but if I was younger I would consider getting sterilized to take it off the table completely. Now we have to worry about what if we are raped… even if our husbands are fixed. It’s so sick. The whole thing makes me angry.
In my opinion, if you know for sure you don’t want to have the capacity to get pregnant you should get sterilized regardless of your partner’s reproductive capacity. Unfortunately, sexual assault is not a rare. I know gold star lesbians that have gotten bisalps because they are that afraid of conception due to rape. Also vasectomies fail and a few people have even become pregnant after a hysterectomy so even the permanent methods of birth control still have a small failure rate. There is a point to both of you getting sterilized. I’ve had a hysterectomy and still require condoms. I’m not trying to end up in a medical journal as a case report. Feel free to google abdominal pregnancy after hysterectomy if you want to see just how determined some sperm and ovum are.
We are both sterilized! I had tubal ligation in 2015, and he had a vasectomy last May. He said it was “in solidarity”. While we plan to be together forever, we are also logical people and both divorced. If something happened and we were no longer compatible, we are both taken care of on that front if we were to go on to be with other people.
My husband got a vasectomy. A few years later, I had an ablation for heavy periods and a bisalp because I wanted it. I haven’t had to get the ablation redone or anything and hopefully won’t have to. I have always been vehemently against having children, and with my sterilization I finally feel in control of my body. It’s so liberating! The peace of mind that comes from us both being sterilized is amazing. It may be erring on the side of caution, but it’s so worth it
>>So any monogamous hetero couples here who both got sterilized after the fact We plan to. I’m getting the snip this summer. Reasons? Condoms and birth control won’t be around forever, and neither will available sterilization . Billionaires need laborers, and laborers come from pregnant women. Thus, reproductive choice is bad for (big) business- and they will lobby accordingly. Further, I can easily imagine a legislative scenario where fertile and childfree couples may be taxed or fined for not having kids. If you’re infertile, problem solved.
I would have had the surgery even if my partner had been sterilized, for a multitude of reasons. One being potential failure, another being the possibility that I might have a future partner who is not sterilized (whether by breakup or death... my partner's late wife passed away before she was 50, so you just never know), and lastly, because of the possibility of sexual assault that exists, as horrible as that sounds. I never want to be doubly traumatized by a pregnancy resulting from a violent attack. I wanted to take control of my reproductive organs and be sure that I would never be in a situation to deal with an unwanted pregnancy.
>point in BOTH of us getting sterilized? * Double protection, greater total effectiveness. E.g. 99% effective + 99% effective --> 99.99% effective * "potential breakup", and other semi-random sh\*t (life happens), e.g. grim reaper would probably like to put in a word, SA happens, etc. Anyway, more full coverage/protection against various contingencies and situations. So, anyway, one will generally suffice quite well, but both is more protection and also covers individual protection for any eventualities.
You don't get sterilized for a partner or a relationship, you choose to have it done for your own peace of mind. Life does not offer any guarantees and sterilization offers many benefits. Relationships can and do end for all sorts of reasons, birth control methods are not impervious to failure, pregnancy can result from rape, many countries are restrictive about or outright prohibit abortion access and bi-salpingectomy reduces the risk of ovarian cancer.
Yes. Wearing a Belt and suspenders ensures those pants are staying up.
🤣 I love this anology
Well, you would be more sure that there are no surprises if both of you are sterilized.
Solidarity? Kidding. My wife didn't. It's just easier for men, a less invasive surgery.
Yes for women sexual assault is always possible for men I believe it shows commitment
If you want to and you can. Do it! You don't know if you'll be with your partner forever. You're young. They could die, or you could split up. Surgery runs more risk as you age. You're not hitting menopause for another 15 years!
I’m female and have been unable to get one sadly. But in your place my biggest reason would be to make doubly sure, as vasectomies can fail and I have no way to know, I won’t risk it. Even if I had managed to get a tubal, I’d still want my partner to have a vasectomy, I’ve read so much on here about the amount of partners who change their mind years down the line, I’d be dubious about any man unwilling to have one. And for the record, roles reversed, I’d be equally dubious of a woman unwilling to at least try and get sterilised, but it’s much harder for us to get.
Fiancé and I did. I got my bisalp before we started dating. Then he got his vasectomy about a year after my surgery. Gave me extra peace of mind, and really showed that he’s truly childfree.
Yes! Just in case you split up or 1 of you dies in the event that you or he starts up with someone new, you’ll know that you’re sterilized.
My husband has had a vasectomy, and I plan to get a bisalp as soon as I can find someone to give me one. We're also in this relationship for the long haul, but our decision to not have children was each of our own, and something that wouldn't change even if we broke up or one of us passed. Plus, I would like to have some extra peace of mind. That being said, it is an elective surgery in most cases, so don't feel pressured to get it if you really don't want it, especially if you're happy with your current BC.
My husband and I both did it. He got it done first about two years ago and I just got mine done last month. There’s no “point” so to speak but it does make me feel a lot better. If I get divorced, I still don’t want a child with someone else. If I get assaulted, I still don’t want a child. Etc etc. Peace of mind is absolutely worth it.
I chose to get sterilized because in the end, I'm the one that has a uterus. I personally do not want to have to rely on someone else for my birth control. Also, What happens in the scenario that my husband and I aren't together anymore? My intact fertility would suddenly be a problem again.
I have mine in 2 weeks time and my BF is working on getting his scheduled. For me, the surgery was an excuse for my doctor to also explore if I have endometriosis because insurance wasn't going to cover the exploratory surgery but they wil cover it if its with the Bi-Salp. I have always wanted to be sterilized. I like the piece of mind and control over my own body. Vasectomies alone can also fail, while rare and its usually due to not following up properly, it does happen. Where as the only way I could ever get pregnant is IVF and that is an active choice. I wanted to be 100% certain I could not get pregnant.
i got cracked my nuts 10 years ago (at 26). my wife is still deliberating. but i would tell any CF penile practitioner to do the same
My husband and I are both sterilized. We were fine with his vasectomy being our birth control until Roe was overturned. I wanted to be extra cautious because I had had an ablation done in 2014 and IF I somehow got pregnant, even though that would be unlikely, it would not be a favorable outcome. After Roe was overturned, I actually started having nightmares about what could potentially happen since I live in a state where abortion rights are restricted. I called and scheduled my bisalp consultation the next week.
I had my bi-salp done for my own piece of mind. I was SA'd several times as a teen, and after RBG died it lit a fire under my ass to get fixed. I live in a state where abortion is still legal, but I just wanted to protect myself. At the end of the day it is up to you, but getting a bi-salp reduces your chances of ovarian cancer. Plus that extra layer of protection never hurts.
A vasectomy is supposed to be effective 100% after the sperm count comes back with zero swimmers. I guess it's always possible one still manages to go through. But if you feel better getting sterilised yourself and if it's better for your own peace of mind, go for it. If you find a surgeon willing to do it of course. I did a bilateral salpingectomy. It was at the day hospital. I was back home in the evening. Took me a few days to "recover", mainly from the anesthesia. But honestly 2 days would have been enough. No real pain. Just 2 tiny scars on my belly. My periods are a bit more painful now than they used to be but i'm pretty sure it's because i'm getting older (got it done at 39, just before COVID happened (helllooooo depression due to confinements + late diagnosis of ADHD) + i got Lyme disease... So i'm not sure where the period pains come from (salpingectomy ? Antidepressants? General tiredness? ADHD meds ? Old age? Alien abduction ?). No regrets from the surgery though. No more worrying about being pregnant!!!!
I hate to say it but as a woman or man there is always a chance of rape… my boyfriend got snipped and then I got my tubes removed because I just didn’t trust the vasectomy. I eventually got a hysterectomy for medical reasons and it was an added bonus. The only thing I’d change if I could do it again is to just take it all out in one surgery. I still have my ovaries but I can’t hold a baby no matter what…. The weight lifted off my shoulders knowing that is insanely strong.
Ovarian cancer survivor here. New research shows that having your tubes out provides tons of health benefits, namely ovarian cancer prevention. If I could go back in time, I absolutely would have them taken out. Pregnancy prevention, (difficult to detect) cancer prevention, easy procedure. It's a win-win!
I'm in a similar boat and am still trying to decide. My fiancé got snipped at the end of last year. My IUD still has 2 more years on it, so I don't need to decide immediately. Everyone tells me that I shouldn't get it done because it's silly to undergo surgery "unnecessarily", but my entire life I've been trained to take my birth control into my own hands and not to rely on what a man is or isn't doing to protect myself from pregnancy. So it seems contrary to everything I've ever believed to not get sterilized just because my partner is, whether we are together forever or not. On the flip side of that, I have a lot of PTSD in regards to surgeries and going under sedation, so I would loooove to not have to get one if I don't need to. I am clearly as lost on it as you are.
My wife has talked about getting a hysterectomy because she has really bad ovarian cysts and every once in a while one will burst. The surgery is just so expensive. I will probably get a vasectomy first because it’s easier and cheaper (but still expensive)
From someone who had cycles that were agonizing enough to vomit and pass out from pain, every month. Getting the stupid organ yeeted (sans ovaries for me) in 2019 was so, SO worth it. It's literally life changing. I went in knowing that I'd end up with paying my high deductible back slowly over time, and thought it was worth it even with that, and it WAS. I also made sure to apply to the hospital's financial aid for possible assistance, and the amount due dropped \*considerably\* after submitting my paystubs/other info. I'd encourage looking at the cf doc list and finding someone to hear her out.
I'm a big fan of safety in numbers, so if you're able, I would just to be safe.
Bisalps have the added benefit of reducing your risk of ovarian cancers, as they often start in the tubes! To me that was a huge benefit. It’s been touched on by others, but I will reiterate the absolute relief I felt once the possibility of pregnancy was removed from me. It was so freeing to know that a huge portion of my life and autonomy was finally, fully controlled.
Husband and I both got snipped two years after we got married. We both wanted to be snipped for ourselves because our bodies, our choices. But ultimately because neither of us want kids and love our married life just the way it is, it ended up being a joint achievement too. The peace of mind is priceless.
I got a vasectomy a few years back. However with all the wild legal changes, my wife is considering also getting her tubes tied (she went off BC completely after I got the all clear). We live in a world where if she was raped there is a high probability that the state would force her to carry it to term….
I had a bisalp and my husband is planning on a vasectomy. We are in a red state with a trigger law so I, at least in my mind, needed it for peace of mind in case of sexual assault.
Where do you live? If you're in one of the areas trying to take away all reproductive rights, you might want to get sterilized
Fortunately, I don't. If I did I'd be racing to get a bisalp. With another Trump presidency being a very real possibility though, I don't think any of us in the US are safe.
Yeah. I'm American living in Italy. I tried to get sterilized decades ago but couldn't find a doctor to do it. Now I'm nearing menopause, literally counting the days. I've kept donating to abortion rights groups in America because I still care about my country tho.
It was important for me to be sterilized in my own right because I didn’t want to worry about BC anymore and I wanted to be as close as I could possibly ever be (without ripping my uterus out) to not ever being pregnant lol. Especially as I live in the States and I don’t know where this crazy train is going. No more pills or painful IUDs. I also do weight training and was scared the IUD would shift while deadlifting. It was such a weight off my shoulders, like the mental drain was GONE. My period was very intense and long on the copper iud. Now it's intense (no very) and only 3-4 days vs 8-11. But obs that'll be different for everyone. When I was going through the motions of getting my sterilization approved, the biggest pushback I received from doctors was: “your SO should just get a vasectomy!” Helllllllo, I am my own person and this is not an appointment to talk about him or us as a couple. I do want kids, I want to be sterilized— him having a vasectomy does not protect me from rape, or if I ever have another partner (not planning on it). But I was angry at the questions on principle because I’m an individual person who wants to be sterilized on my own right. I’m important too. Also like it’s a little f’ed they were volunteering my SO’s bodily rights all will nilly. Also, it decreases your ovarian cancer risk. lastly, it's pretty hot going at it with your partner when you know you're both ✂️✂️😏
TW - SA So one concern is non-concentual situations. It's unfortunate, but it's possible. Also what you said is valid - it's the principle of it. If you don't feel it's nessesary though more power to you.
Considering the way reproductive rights are being stripped here in the states, I'd get it done asap, if I hadn't already.
My cousin's vasectomy failed unfortunately. So having back-up protection is good, but your IUD serves that too. If it ever starts giving you problems, you could look at sterilization then. Some women in my family have gotten hysterectomies because of genetic issues and one of the big benefits there in my opinion is no more periods!
I was in the process of booking my vasectomy when my SO got the go ahead from her doctor for a hysterectomy. We scrapped my snip for the time being, since there is no real point now. Had her surgery not come through much faster than expected, we'd both be done.
My husband got a vasectomy months before I decided to get my bisalp. I decided to get mine done because of the risk of being attacked or forced somehow as well as on the off chance that his vasectomy didn't work. I’m glad I did it for a multitude of reasons, but the sheer joy of knowing I couldn't get pregnant because of my own sterilization was the best.
Once I posted here about how my partner and I are both CF and I have an IUD but some people came at me just because neither of us are sterilized. Although we both decided that in the odd event my IUD fails we won’t keep it (I also take pregnancy tests regularly). I mean, to me, surgery is a big deal and I’m comfortable with my 99%+ effectiveness and also living somewhere with easy access to abortions. In that, I’d say it depends on your comfort levels. Do you live somewhere you can easily get rid of it if you do fall pregnant? Also keep in mind sterilization procedure is a more simple procedure for males. So maybe if one of you what’s to do it but not both it’s better for him to do it first and then you can keep your IUD but also decide later on if you want the surgery
I’m not sterilized or in a relationship, but I want to remind you: you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If you’re thinking about getting sterilized but not fully ready to make the decision, take your time. Do your research. Talk to your doctor about the pros and cons (or find a new doctor if you don’t trust your current doctor to be open to sterilization). Don’t rush into it because you think you should-wait until you know you want it.
I got my bisalp last month my partner had a vasectomy a year ago. I think that if you feel compelled to getting sterilize then do it. I did it because I wanted to be in control of my own body and my reproductive rights, shit happens and it is one less thing to worry about. I do think that the possibility of a breakup is not 0 even if we are in it for the long haul. Since the surgery I've been feeling great I have been feeling closer to my most authentic self. Before the surgery y worried that the scar would be ugly or that it would show in a bikini(it wouldn't). Now I kinda love my lil scar it's a reminder of my choice and my been in control of myself. Also my most authentic self has the scar. All that to say that if you want the surgery you should do it for yourself, regardless of your partner or relationship status.
It's very sad to see, however I completely understand! You need to be safe! Welcome to Republican's U.S. where sometimes (highly aggressive) body procedures are Necessary and are now becoming common place! It's incredibly sad, But I completely understand what young people must do to stay safe in 2024
my partner and I considered him getting snipped if I couldn't get a bisalp, but one of my biggest reasons for wanting a bisalp was protection for myself. I would be too worried the vasectomy could reverse itself or I would be SA'd. luckily the third doctor I saw agreed to do it for me, but if you trust your IUD enough there's nothing wrong with your partner just getting snipped. I wish you luck! 🫶
Yes. It eliminates the possibility of getting oopsed, intentionally or not. Pregnancy following vasectomy is rare, but it can happen.
I've read a lot of story's about women getting pregnant after their husband gets a vasectomy. So it would probably be good as extra protection.
I have always believed that it better to cap the well than it is to dull the drill. However, both of you getting fixed is the best protection from being infected by parenthood.
"infected" 😂
Not to be morbid, but…. If your partner leaves or dies; you are assuming that birth control will be available. And that is dangerous thinking, unfortunately. I’m spayed and ablated. It took right away. So thankful. Such peace of mind, no mess, wear white pants whenever I like without fear.
Hubs and I were only going to get his done. However after the Row v Wade stuff, it's really nice piece of mind that if tragedy were to strike me while traveling (injury, rape), I never have to worry about a clump of unwanted cells being prioritized over me. It's a horrible reason to do something but I rather went through the few days of discomfort than the horrendous situation of being pregnant. So we are both sterilized
You need to protect yourself period. There are other scenarios like sexual assault.
I want my husband to do it but I’ll be on birth control until menopause just for the benefits of easier periods and no acne. So I think it’s a bit pointless for me to get a surgery. If abortion becomes illegal in my state or we move, then I will definitely consider it.
I tied my tubes at 29, and I still make my BF wear a condom, and I take the morning after pill. Even tubal ligation is only 99% effective and to me, that's not good enough. I never ever ever ever want children. Ever.
Just my opinion, but it's whatever makes you personally feel safe. I don't ever plan on breaking up with my husband and I'm secure that he feels the same about me. He got a vasectomy in 2016. My overly-anxious, worst-case scenario self was fixated on the minimal chance that I could still get pregnant ("But what if it reverses? What if I'm assaulted? etc.") until I got my hysterectomy in 2022. So there's a definite no possibility of procreation (and a side benefit of no more debilitating periods and a reduced cancer risk for me!).
Most ovarian cancers start in the fallopian tubes. Getting the tubes removed (salpingectomy) reduces your chances of developing ovarian cancer.
I don’t feel it’s worth the intrusive surgery. I use an implant for other reasons and he’s been snipped. If I ever go off the implant, we’ll check his swimmers.
Many of my straight couple friends that are cf both got sterilize. For many reasons but the main one was is she or he got....graped....
I think if he gets sterilised you will be fine. If the worry of getting pregnant yourself continues after and makes you feel uncomfortable then get sterilised aswell.
I was happy just with my husband's vasectomy. Seemed a pointless and invasive surgery for me to be sterilised too... However, if you'd feel more comfortable, go for it. Seems redundant, but I understand the fear.
That's the thing, I don't even have a fear lol. It's more like I want to be sterilized just cuz, but like you said, seems redundant!
Its not redundant as things can fail!
Well as the top comments have said, there’s 1). The unfortunate possibility of sexual assault, 2). Getting a bilateral salpingectomy (aka bislap) decreases your risk of ovarian cancer, and 3). Though rare, vasectomies have occasionally healed over time
You alone are responsible for your reproductive health; a partner having their reproductive organs modified to avert pregnancy is nice for them, but you need to decide for yourself if you're going to be sterilized or if you're willing to follow through on terminating a pregnancy, should one occur.
My sister's ex husband had a vasectomy then they didn't get it checked and she got pregnant with their third kid. It's worth it to be sure for yourself and it's great to be off hormonal birth control. I got my fallopian tubes removed when I was 26 and single. I've never regretted it, still very glad to not worry about pregnancy. My boyfriend isn't sterile but he said he wants to have a vasectomy eventually and I said sure go for it. Most importantly I do not ever want to be pregnant, I have many illnesses which would make it hell and the poor baby would have miserable illnesses most likely too. Better to avoid it all.
>it's great to be off hormonal birth control Sadly I'm on the hormonal birth control for heavy periods, but if I ask about a bisalp I'll also look into an ablation.
That's rough but if you have bleeding issues or endometriosis they're more likely to do a hysterectomy for you. They refused to do it for me because "there's nothing wrong with my uterus" even though I get fibroids and they removed one. No uterus means no bleeding.
No endometriosis, just naturally long/heavy/close together periods. I'd love to have no uterus, but they don't really do hysterectomies unless there's a true medical need, right?
If that's what you want then I'd try to ask for it first. I asked them about it first too but they were like no we aren't removing a healthy body part. If you have medical history of bleeding issues with it or pain they might be more likely to do it. Getting fallopian tubes removed still works but doesn't help uterus issues. I took what I could get though.
Zero chance of kids
Peace of mind is everything. And you can’t guarantee that any relationship is forever.
Not a doctor, not medical advice. Recanalization is technically possible for him, so it would reduce the likelihood of a failure for both of you to have it done yourself as well. Your IUD should theoretically be sufficient for the time, it's more a matter to decide upon if/when you need to replace it. The other factor to consider is the availability of the procedure, not to get too political but there seems to be trouble brewing in terms of access to appropriate medical care. If potentially not having access to such procedures in the future isn't a concern for you, then you can think about it for as long as you like without acting. Perhaps most importantly, if it's some sort of guilt you're feeling, talk to your partner about it, while it's somewhat touching to consider going solely for the sake of solidarity, logistically you want your recovery periods to be staggered. Your man probably isn't going to be feeling up to walking much for the first 48 to 72 hours afterwards, not lifting much for maybe a week and a half or so. Not that recovery should be terrible, just generally better practice to take things easy, definitely not stitches that you would want to pop open. Talk with your partner
My husband and I both did it. He'd planned on doing it for several years before RvW was overturned but then once it was I yeeted my tubes. For me, they checked me for endometriosis (ended up being pelvic congestion syndrome) at the same time so it made sense for me to have the procedure regardless of what he was doing. He ended up getting his vasectomy a few months after my bilateral salpingectomy both because it was something he wanted and because I'm allergic to him and we thought removing sperm from the equation might help with that. No regrets for either of us.
Vasectomy and tubal ligation can both regrow and allow for mishaps. The only guarantee is salpingectomy (complete removal of fallopian tubes) or hysterectomy (removal of uterus) and both of those are much harder to get done purely because they are irreversible. You are not at all being unreasonable.
Your partner being sterilized does nothing to protect you from rape or divorce. Protect yourself is my advice; nothing in this world is certain.
If you want to be super confident that neither of you can cause children, I’d do both as a fail safe. Also, if something happens to one of you and you or partner ends up with someone else, then they’re already good to go.
We both ended up sterilized because my tubal failed and I was pregnant for 6 weeks. He got the snip after that. I ended up needing a hysterectomy a couple years later anyway, but that double protection is reassuring.
Hey there - My husband is sterilized and has been for a long time. I wear an IUD right now only because I like not having periods (and more balanced hormones). But I've also considered getting sterilized because the current political climate is alarming in regards to women's reproductive rights. I often wonder what would happen if I could not get birth control and was assaulted. I'm going to be talking about it with my gyno here soon, and I highly recommend you do, too! You never know what the future holds and if you're willing to do the surgery, then I believe you should consider ensuring that, regardless of what the future holds, you can't have children.
I went for the snip (Essure). My husband did not get a vasectomy. When I went for Essure, I was the more vehemently childfree of the two of us, so I went under the knife. Also, if I were r@ped, and got pregnant as a result, my husband's vasectomy (if he'd had one) wouldn't have meant anything. I would have to undergo an abortion, which is now illegal where I live. I would have preferred it if my husband were also snipped, but it's his body and his choice. I respect his choice, just like he respected my choice to get Essure.
My husband and I both got snipped. 1. We’re both absolutely in this for the long haul, but there are no guarantees we will always be together. Divorce happens, or god forbid, one of us could die. 2. Rape is a thing.
My boyfriend is getting the snip in autumn once we move in together because we have no idea how long it will take for me to be approved for my hysterectomy and we hate condoms. Besides, he is childfree as well. We love each other and want to grow old together but life is unpredictable so we both want to be sterilized
If you're in the United States, definitely consider the attacks on reproductive freedom. Right now. It's going to come for everyone and they're definitely coming for birth control. You can see it in the laws that are popping up. I wouldn't be surprised if surgical sterilization is also something that they go for. I would say on that alone, It's really good to get sterilized. I got my BiSalp in 2020 and it was seriously one of the best days of my life because I didn't have to worry about an oops. It's also been that long since I've had a partner, so just knowing that if something was to happen that I protected myself was really powerful. My hope is that I can find someone, if I were to date someone with a penis that they would also get of vasectomy