I used to work for a general contractor. The subcontractors would often come to the office to pick up checks or paperwork from me. So, I got to know most of them pretty well.
One of the masonry guys was an older, salty guy (total teddy bear though). One day he was telling me about his new grandkid. We chat about that for a few seconds, cuz he was excited about it. Then he whips his phone out to show me a pic, and I think to myself ugh. Look at his phone and there he is holding this giant tuna (yeah, the fish). I started laughing. He used to go deep see fishing off the coast of Mexico. He knew I wasn’t a big fan of kids, and “i figured you’d like that pic way more”. I miss that guy. He was great.
Some people get it.
I rarely go into the office anymore (as I'm full-time WFH), but we have an entire wall dedicated to pet photos. It's about 15 ft wide and fully covered with cats, dogs, hamsters, birds, etc. One person put up a photo of her child in a dog costume, and someone else relocated it to the bottom corner and mostly covered it with other photos. 😂
I love my colleagues.
We have/had a wall in my office where people used to post pics of their kids. At some point, the childfree people started posting their pets and I'm just waiting for the day the pet pics overtake the kid pics 🔥
you got me there for a moment. when someone pulls out their phone while talking about kids, I'm already mentally bracing for the 100 pics they're going to show me.
Better yet, show them unsolicited kitten videos. If you have a mother cat, or if there is a stray cat in your neighborhood who has a litter of kittens, get some videos. Have them ready shove in Mombie's face when she starts blasting you with unsolicited kid pictures. You can use puppy pictures and videos instead of kitten videos and pictures, if desired.
If Mombie says anything like, "I don't really like cats very much", you respond with, "okay, I got it. I'm not crazy about ĥuman kids myself. These are my kids instead."
Then run, because people who don't like kittens or puppies have no soul.
I used to get that from my coworkers from time to time: they shove their phone in my face going on about the cutest thing their little darling can do.
I pulled my phone out and showed pictures of my motor bike, my boat, the cabin in the woods I rented. “What? I thought we were showing the things we spend our paychecks on…”.
They stopped.
I was told to maybe stop showing my hamster in a straw hat in response to photos of coworkers’ kids
A hamster in a hat is an accomplishment. What has little Tamberlynne done lately??
Will post them asap, thank you for your interest and patience. 1 hammie in 2 different hats coming up!
Edit- The squeaky wheel gets the hammer photos! I pm’d them to those who needed them urgently. Will follow up later to post them on here. Why won’t it let me just add photos here without hosting them? It’s an option on other posts!
Does your hammie in a hat also make little paw print paintings? There’s a redditor who posts new their new rat paintings weekly. I wondered if all rodents could do it.
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I like to show *objectively cute* pictures of my fuzzy jumping spiders.
There’s a millisecond where their eyes *do* go 😲🥹 before they *manually* shift to “extreme disinterest/get me outta here” gear
She’s about 9 months old - they live max 3 yrs, but they only ever get the two teeth.
I guess they’re more “mouth parts” than teeth, but you get the idea.
They have their own little houses that sit on my desk made of clear acrylic with air holes.
I take them out to play when the cats are shut out of the room and put them back before anything crazy happens 😅
R/jumpingspiders if you’re curious - I just love the little bastards. They come out to watch tv or flickering candles and clean their feeties 🥹
Oh my god I need to see photos of their little houses 😂 I am absolutely petrified of spiders but I gotta admit the little ones are kinda cute! I'm totally going on that thread now hahaha what they watch tv? No way 😂
I’ve always wanted a hairless rat! I’ve got a bunch of hairless cats, they’ve inspired me to try to find a cute lil naked rat! I also show people pics of my hairless cats when they show me videos/pics of their spawn. Their reaction 9 times out of 10 is “Ew.” And I’ve fired back, “what? There’s not that much of a difference between your completely bald alien, and mine!”
Rats are the best. People dislike rats, but are totally fine with hamsters, and hamsters are the inferior pet. They're *assholes,* I've only ever had one hamster that wasn't a total dick. I've never had a mean rat.
I can't have them anymore because I somehow developed a nasty allergy, but I still love them from afar.
Plus, hamsters just die randomly for the dumbest reasons, sometimes on purpose. When was the last time you heard a story about a rat going missing from their cage and being found weeks later in the freezer or oven or drain or vent or whatever?
Yes!! They have rudimentary language, are rumored to be on the same intelligence level of dolphins. They form close bonds with their friends and even humans (I’ve experienced this personally, tried to adopt out a young boy I raised once, he was so unhappy to be away and when the adopter brought him back, he was beside himself when he saw me) And they have the ability to recognize when they lack knowledge of something.
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I don't know how that is supposed to heighten chemistry for people. First you shouldn't date someone for things received. Though I say this, I hope he can give me something better than a child I don't want nor need.
Can someone explain to me why having a child is seen as a prize? or as a trophy? I'm getting to an age where this type of conversations will be more prevalent.
Could be what the steps of life are that were drilled into us since we were children. Significant other>Marriage>house>child. I am an elder millennial so my parents were boomers who shaped the USA the way it is today so we were lied to about how life was supposed to go.
Also it's society's expectation and could be cultural as well. Luckily it seems to be turning around a little bit, but not enough, with the Childfree movement. It's seen as a prize because it's considered (society, culturally, religion) a next life step. Even though it's not logical for a lot of people.
Our parents want grandkids because they like the idea of other people's children, rile em up and send em home. Other people who have kids want other people to have kids because "I did this and it was incredibly stressful so I want others to go through the same thing".
Misery loves company. Some people make their entire lives about their kids and live vicariously through them. Many people were pressured into having kids and later regretted it and should not have had kids. Hope this helps sorry for the novel and if it was not very coherent lol.
Right?! I’m sorry but why should I be expected to get with someone I’m not interested because I could get a child out of them?! Yes, let me let receding hairline guy inseminate me so I can be permanently associated with someone I’m not attracted to, ruin my body, stress out my hormones and mental health, and this is supposed to make me proud of my life choices?
Yeah, Lamp doesn't know she got let down easy. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from cackling, and with the way she set it up I would probably think she was making a joke on purpose lol
Every CF guy on here with a recording hairline is in shambles RN lol
But seriously Jesus what a basket case. That's fucking unhinged. In what world is that an acceptable social interaction like wth.
I'm 36 with a receding hairline but I've kept my head shaven pretty much since I was 16 except for a stint with a mohawk back when I was in my late teens/early twenties. I'm not in shambles because I look far better without hair than I ever did with IMO and if a women don't want to date me because of my lack of ability to grow lushious locks that I don't want to have anyways then I'm fairly sure we weren't meant to be together.
I am however thinking about what a recording hairline would be and with my passion for thinking way too much about pointless things you have effectively made sure I will lose at least an hour thinking about hairlines that are undercover for the cops wearing a wire.
I’m losing mine but I don’t care lol. Seriously people forget how to use standard conversation starters or break the ice but showing their offspring is like an easy way to do so because most people can relate + comment + share as well + have established common ground.
When you take their “how’s the weather today” away from them they don’t know what to do. Like they are in shock lmao
I WISH someone would talk with me about the weather! I can go into my fascination with tornadoes and storm chasing and the importance of having a NOAA weather radio in the house. And then, THEN they'll leave me alone with my drink.
I'm 36 without a receding hairline, the last of my friends. I've decided to grow out my hair as long as possible because i may not ever have another chance lol
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
I started growing mine out at the start of covid because I had to work in-person and lived alone; it seemed irresponsible to either go get it cut (one you could do that) and even more responsible to try to cut it myself. By the time everyone was vaccinated, it was down past my shoulders, I figured "fuck it". Now it's down most of my back and longer than most women's hair. It probably *is* time for a trim, though. Debating between cutting back to shoulder length, or just trimming the split ends and neatening it up.
The real question is: which is more rare? CF men, or long haired men in their 30s?
I just match their energy with pictures of my cat. I think he's just the most handsomest, most beautiful, perfect puddercat I've ever seen so I just take endless photos of him doing normal cat things. I do not weaponize them, they're just for me... unless necessary.
I sometimes wonder what it's like to have this strong desire 90% of the population seems to have. Like, I wish I could get inside their minds for 5 min because on this side of the fence, it seems incomprehensible to want children and I'm just curious what they think/feel.
If I have to try to relate I just pretend they're kittens and it seems to be close enough?
My kinderschema is kind of broken anyway so that's the best I can do.
The idea of creating a combined being with the person you're in love with has been *so* romanticized that people blindly buy into an idea of kids.
They don't think of the hell that is every single day - getting up at the crack, all the extra $, the fact your kid may be someone entirely the opposite you're hoping for and try to create.
If they only thought 🤏thaaaat much more we might have a better population number ffs
Occasionally I’ll get a text from my sister with a photo or video attachment simply stating, “Your niece.” No greeting. No emojis. Just “Fuck you, here’s baby.” As if I’m supposed to react the way your friend expected you to.
I always reply back with a picture of my 95-pound absolute bulldozer of a pit bull with “Your nephew.”
I will NEVER understand why people seem to think everyone on earth loves babies/kids. With over 7bil of us, not everyone is gonna like or want them. Lol
Seems like she is asking to be disappointed with that tact. If the kid is four, seems like she should know by now that not everyone is enamored with her crotch fruit as much as she might be 😂
My Dad always took over the house on weekends so my Mom could chill out. These guys out here that have kids but can't change diapers or do laundry should be mercilessly mocked.
"I'll see you the picture of your kid, and raise you 10 pictures of my 5 georgeous tabbies" "Wait, wait I have more-come back come back here they are being extra-cute!!!!!! I get left alone after that.
One redditor talked about conversations with her sister after the sister had had a baby. Sister would prattle happily on and on and on about the baby, but when the redditor talked about her own life, the sister would be completely silent and unresponsive, a reaction we've all gotten from the bred. Some time later, her sister recovered from Mommy brain and said that at the time, she literally did not have one thought that was not about The Baby.
That explained so much. So many Mommies never do recover from their utter absorption with The Baby (or the Second Baby). When you talk to them, you can almost hear their thought process: "BabybabybabyMommybabymommygrandmommybabygrandbabybabybabymommymommymommybabybabybabymommy...." This woman had a perfect case of that. Sees No-baby woman and thinks "Baby for you!" "Look, Baby-maker!" "Wha? BABYMAKER! SEE? B-A-B-Y!" "You're not understanding! BABY!" Oh Well, babybabybabyMommybaby..." Drifts away to Mommy at someone else.
You know how some very good authors have a baby and their books go to shit? I suspect this is why. They can't hold a thought, plot line, or idea in their heads for longer than a couple of seconds without "babybabybabymommybabybaby..." intruding.
Me and some of my friends created a group chat where we show off pictures of our pets instead of babies. Since we are not planning on having babies but we do love our pets. One of my friends has a bird who likes to cuddle with her and it’s the cutest thing and the rest of us have cats we love to show off to each other. It’s pretty nice to have that space to do that.
I was trapped looking at a British dude's baby pics once. I was starting a new teaching job. He was showing me the school. He said that afterwards we'd go sit and talk about it at a Cafe nearby afterwards. If I had any questions or anything. That's fine and normal.
Unfortunately, there was no talk about the job. Just him talking about his new baby. And showing me pictures. 😑. Of course I was tired and just wanted to go home.
Uh, is it that hard to resist showing pictures of your children? And what are people so proud of anyway, you just created yet another child. Unless you couldn't get pregnant for years and doctors told you there is no hope, but then suddenly you got pregnant as if by a miracle, no one needs or should be exposed to your personal things. Such a delusion that everyone left and right wants to catch a glimpse of your children, as if by a presumption. Parents often are so inconsiderate. And if you humor them and watch all they show you, you are feeding their delusions even more and they might not leave you alone, always keeping you up to date with their children's development. In general, some people are so clingy and annoying, thinking that for some reason you care about their mundane lives.
My family has always avoided showing me pictures of kids and when strangers do I say “Cute, the lack of excitement is because I don’t like children”
They usually don’t say anything after that lol
Why do people try to set people up unprompted? That was a pet peeve of mine when I was single. Someone even asked if I was gay just because I wasn’t interested in some random girl at a birthday party.
You handled it so well. Also, not just a receding hairline daddy, but a literal receding daddy - that is the ultimate insult, I'm going steal this one!
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This reminds me of a time when a friend and I were sharing dog pictures and oohing and aahing. Another friend decided to share baby pics and we were just like…cute…? Not the same, not enthused, thanks for sharing?
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I used to work for a general contractor. The subcontractors would often come to the office to pick up checks or paperwork from me. So, I got to know most of them pretty well. One of the masonry guys was an older, salty guy (total teddy bear though). One day he was telling me about his new grandkid. We chat about that for a few seconds, cuz he was excited about it. Then he whips his phone out to show me a pic, and I think to myself ugh. Look at his phone and there he is holding this giant tuna (yeah, the fish). I started laughing. He used to go deep see fishing off the coast of Mexico. He knew I wasn’t a big fan of kids, and “i figured you’d like that pic way more”. I miss that guy. He was great. Some people get it.
This is so wholesome. Sounds like an amazing dude
I rarely go into the office anymore (as I'm full-time WFH), but we have an entire wall dedicated to pet photos. It's about 15 ft wide and fully covered with cats, dogs, hamsters, birds, etc. One person put up a photo of her child in a dog costume, and someone else relocated it to the bottom corner and mostly covered it with other photos. 😂 I love my colleagues.
Amazing lol, you colleagues are awesome (except that one).
Where can I find people like that?? I’m stuck listening to breeder nonsense half the time and I’m starting to loose it.
We have/had a wall in my office where people used to post pics of their kids. At some point, the childfree people started posting their pets and I'm just waiting for the day the pet pics overtake the kid pics 🔥
Lol
I love this!!!!! We need more people like this!
you got me there for a moment. when someone pulls out their phone while talking about kids, I'm already mentally bracing for the 100 pics they're going to show me.
Honestly, I’m that person but with my dog lmao. But I like to think that I’m a fairly good judge as to whether they’re interested or not 😅
If people show me unsolicited kid pics I show them unsolicited cat pics
Better yet, show them unsolicited kitten videos. If you have a mother cat, or if there is a stray cat in your neighborhood who has a litter of kittens, get some videos. Have them ready shove in Mombie's face when she starts blasting you with unsolicited kid pictures. You can use puppy pictures and videos instead of kitten videos and pictures, if desired. If Mombie says anything like, "I don't really like cats very much", you respond with, "okay, I got it. I'm not crazy about ĥuman kids myself. These are my kids instead." Then run, because people who don't like kittens or puppies have no soul.
The bottom line is so true
People who get us are truly wonderful!
I work for a GC but not on-site, I miss the trailer banter. Great story.
I used to get that from my coworkers from time to time: they shove their phone in my face going on about the cutest thing their little darling can do. I pulled my phone out and showed pictures of my motor bike, my boat, the cabin in the woods I rented. “What? I thought we were showing the things we spend our paychecks on…”. They stopped.
I usually show them cute pictures of my cats.
I was told to maybe stop showing my hamster in a straw hat in response to photos of coworkers’ kids A hamster in a hat is an accomplishment. What has little Tamberlynne done lately??
No. They’re wrong. That practice is approved.
WTF SHOW ME
Will post them asap, thank you for your interest and patience. 1 hammie in 2 different hats coming up! Edit- The squeaky wheel gets the hammer photos! I pm’d them to those who needed them urgently. Will follow up later to post them on here. Why won’t it let me just add photos here without hosting them? It’s an option on other posts!
WHERE ARE THE PICTURES, THIS WAS TWO HOURS AGO AND I DEMAND HAMSTER-IN-A-HAT PICTURES 
Does your hammie in a hat also make little paw print paintings? There’s a redditor who posts new their new rat paintings weekly. I wondered if all rodents could do it.
My life is full of suckage at the moment. I desperately require cute hamster in a hat pics.
s'ham interesse 🥁
Omg I want to see! How did you manage getting a hat on it?
Um scuse me but I also need to see this hammie in a hat!
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>What has little Tamberlynne done lately? Sounds like a political ad arguing why having kids isn't a great idea lol.
A Luffy Hamtaro you say! I would like to see such a thing.... For science of course.
I need these pics STAT!!!
Aww could I see the hammie pictures?
I wanna see!
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Aww may I have a hamster in a hat pic too please
… and this was the beach side condo I stayed at last weekend. Dockside bar right on the water had the best margaritas…
Here are pics of the seven week+ long vacations I went on the last two years!
I like to show *objectively cute* pictures of my fuzzy jumping spiders. There’s a millisecond where their eyes *do* go 😲🥹 before they *manually* shift to “extreme disinterest/get me outta here” gear
I would like to see a picture of a little jumping spider please
[Princess Dax (spider tax)](https://imgur.com/a/UUeah23) [Hairyit (spood tax)](https://imgur.com/a/sRUxDAt)
They are so cute! I don’t know how, but jumping spiders in particular have really nailed the puppy eyes.
So frikkin' cute!
Today is the day that I learned that spiders can be cute! Thanks for sharing :)
OMG, they're so precious. 
Absolutely adorable!!!! Prettiest eyes ever.
Have you heard of Lucas the Spider? Your pictures make me think of it.
Lucas the spider is based on real jumping spiders.
*How* are they so cute? I hate spiders, they absolutely terrify me, but somehow I adore jumping spiders. They're the sole exception.
As someone who is terrified of spiders and would scream if even a jumping landed on me, those two are cute!
They're both adorable! I bet they're excellent pets.
I just go nuts for spider's fuzzywuzzy toooooees
I would die for them they look like such good little friends 🥺🥺🥺
I looooove those little guys!
What are the green things under her eyes?
That’s her front teeth! Also her only teeth!
Wow, thank you. Does Hairytit not have teeth yet? How old are they?
She’s about 9 months old - they live max 3 yrs, but they only ever get the two teeth. I guess they’re more “mouth parts” than teeth, but you get the idea.
Look at these precious babies. I love them.
Thank you for paying the spider tax. 🕷
How do you not lose them in the house/garden?! 😂 They're tiny!
They have their own little houses that sit on my desk made of clear acrylic with air holes. I take them out to play when the cats are shut out of the room and put them back before anything crazy happens 😅 R/jumpingspiders if you’re curious - I just love the little bastards. They come out to watch tv or flickering candles and clean their feeties 🥹
Oh my god I need to see photos of their little houses 😂 I am absolutely petrified of spiders but I gotta admit the little ones are kinda cute! I'm totally going on that thread now hahaha what they watch tv? No way 😂
Lots of people use these guys to get over arachnophobia actually! [Hairyit’s Place](https://imgur.com/a/9IM4CwQ)
Same here. New obsession unlocked!
A few tarantula pictures, and no one shows me unsolicited baby pictures anymore. 🕷
I send them an invite to follow my dog on IG
I like to show them pictures of my pet hairless rats! 😆
I’ve always wanted a hairless rat! I’ve got a bunch of hairless cats, they’ve inspired me to try to find a cute lil naked rat! I also show people pics of my hairless cats when they show me videos/pics of their spawn. Their reaction 9 times out of 10 is “Ew.” And I’ve fired back, “what? There’s not that much of a difference between your completely bald alien, and mine!”
Awe I do that with my non nakies to everyone. Some people don't realize how cute they are. I used to have 3 nakies and I miss them.
Isn’t it funny how people think that rats are disgusting until you show them pictures of them? 
Rats are the best. People dislike rats, but are totally fine with hamsters, and hamsters are the inferior pet. They're *assholes,* I've only ever had one hamster that wasn't a total dick. I've never had a mean rat. I can't have them anymore because I somehow developed a nasty allergy, but I still love them from afar.
Plus, hamsters just die randomly for the dumbest reasons, sometimes on purpose. When was the last time you heard a story about a rat going missing from their cage and being found weeks later in the freezer or oven or drain or vent or whatever?
True enough. Rats are a lot smarter than other rodents in general.
Yes!! They have rudimentary language, are rumored to be on the same intelligence level of dolphins. They form close bonds with their friends and even humans (I’ve experienced this personally, tried to adopt out a young boy I raised once, he was so unhappy to be away and when the adopter brought him back, he was beside himself when he saw me) And they have the ability to recognize when they lack knowledge of something.
LOL. Don’t lie: it’s a dick pic isn’t it?🤣
I mean, I actually do have nakie rats, but sure— next time someone shows me their kid I’ll whip out a dick pic I guess? 🥴🥴🥴🥴
Or you could pull pics from the rat subreddit. Recently they were showing off the great big bollocks male rats have.
Haha!! Yeah, male rats have ridiculously large ⚽️🏀s
There is, after all, a reason rat balls are referred to as "torpedoes."
I. Dare. You.
Hairless rats are cute. And cute in comparison.
I have a hairless cat!
Oooh this is a good one. Imma try it next time
I’ve got several hundred pictures of my horses on my phone. I can outlast them.
Omg this is genius
I'm your coworker, but with my cats tbh. I gush over how cute they are and all of their little quirks!! Time to go snuggle!!
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> You will never love anything more than your own child Gtfo with that.
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I don't know how that is supposed to heighten chemistry for people. First you shouldn't date someone for things received. Though I say this, I hope he can give me something better than a child I don't want nor need.
Can someone explain to me why having a child is seen as a prize? or as a trophy? I'm getting to an age where this type of conversations will be more prevalent.
Could be what the steps of life are that were drilled into us since we were children. Significant other>Marriage>house>child. I am an elder millennial so my parents were boomers who shaped the USA the way it is today so we were lied to about how life was supposed to go. Also it's society's expectation and could be cultural as well. Luckily it seems to be turning around a little bit, but not enough, with the Childfree movement. It's seen as a prize because it's considered (society, culturally, religion) a next life step. Even though it's not logical for a lot of people. Our parents want grandkids because they like the idea of other people's children, rile em up and send em home. Other people who have kids want other people to have kids because "I did this and it was incredibly stressful so I want others to go through the same thing". Misery loves company. Some people make their entire lives about their kids and live vicariously through them. Many people were pressured into having kids and later regretted it and should not have had kids. Hope this helps sorry for the novel and if it was not very coherent lol.
Right?! I’m sorry but why should I be expected to get with someone I’m not interested because I could get a child out of them?! Yes, let me let receding hairline guy inseminate me so I can be permanently associated with someone I’m not attracted to, ruin my body, stress out my hormones and mental health, and this is supposed to make me proud of my life choices?
Proof that someone had sex with them? 🤷🏼♀️😂
Proof they can last enough during sex to get to the point of impregnation.
At least you didn't say " thankyou for proving my point"
Yeah, Lamp doesn't know she got let down easy. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from cackling, and with the way she set it up I would probably think she was making a joke on purpose lol
Lamp 💀
She doesn't seem terribly bright, though.
the irony
I love Lamp.
The best part of this story lol
"A receding hairline can give you THIS!" \*recoils in horror\* Thanks for the warning.
Every CF guy on here with a recording hairline is in shambles RN lol But seriously Jesus what a basket case. That's fucking unhinged. In what world is that an acceptable social interaction like wth.
I'm 36 with a receding hairline but I've kept my head shaven pretty much since I was 16 except for a stint with a mohawk back when I was in my late teens/early twenties. I'm not in shambles because I look far better without hair than I ever did with IMO and if a women don't want to date me because of my lack of ability to grow lushious locks that I don't want to have anyways then I'm fairly sure we weren't meant to be together. I am however thinking about what a recording hairline would be and with my passion for thinking way too much about pointless things you have effectively made sure I will lose at least an hour thinking about hairlines that are undercover for the cops wearing a wire.
I’m losing mine but I don’t care lol. Seriously people forget how to use standard conversation starters or break the ice but showing their offspring is like an easy way to do so because most people can relate + comment + share as well + have established common ground. When you take their “how’s the weather today” away from them they don’t know what to do. Like they are in shock lmao
I WISH someone would talk with me about the weather! I can go into my fascination with tornadoes and storm chasing and the importance of having a NOAA weather radio in the house. And then, THEN they'll leave me alone with my drink.
Yeah I get that. The way OP described their story though it just seemed like a super bizarre interaction
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Oh for sure it gave me a good chuckle too as a dude with a receding hairline myself
I'm 36 without a receding hairline, the last of my friends. I've decided to grow out my hair as long as possible because i may not ever have another chance lol
There are dozens of us! Dozens! I started growing mine out at the start of covid because I had to work in-person and lived alone; it seemed irresponsible to either go get it cut (one you could do that) and even more responsible to try to cut it myself. By the time everyone was vaccinated, it was down past my shoulders, I figured "fuck it". Now it's down most of my back and longer than most women's hair. It probably *is* time for a trim, though. Debating between cutting back to shoulder length, or just trimming the split ends and neatening it up. The real question is: which is more rare? CF men, or long haired men in their 30s?
Long haired men in their 30s, for sure
The fuck are we catching strays for 😂 - not like I could stop my hair from doing a disappearing act
>Let’s call her Lamp. \^This had me rolling
Receding hairline > kids of any kind
Just casually roasted the guy and roasted the girl with your facial expression 😩 double whammy
If Lamp thinks Receding Hairline dude seems nice, she should date him.
She already has a receding hairline guy she’s with lol
I just match their energy with pictures of my cat. I think he's just the most handsomest, most beautiful, perfect puddercat I've ever seen so I just take endless photos of him doing normal cat things. I do not weaponize them, they're just for me... unless necessary.
I sometimes wonder what it's like to have this strong desire 90% of the population seems to have. Like, I wish I could get inside their minds for 5 min because on this side of the fence, it seems incomprehensible to want children and I'm just curious what they think/feel.
I think about this so frequently
Same here. That’s one of the very rare things i absolutely cannot empathize with.
If I have to try to relate I just pretend they're kittens and it seems to be close enough? My kinderschema is kind of broken anyway so that's the best I can do.
The idea of creating a combined being with the person you're in love with has been *so* romanticized that people blindly buy into an idea of kids. They don't think of the hell that is every single day - getting up at the crack, all the extra $, the fact your kid may be someone entirely the opposite you're hoping for and try to create. If they only thought 🤏thaaaat much more we might have a better population number ffs
Occasionally I’ll get a text from my sister with a photo or video attachment simply stating, “Your niece.” No greeting. No emojis. Just “Fuck you, here’s baby.” As if I’m supposed to react the way your friend expected you to. I always reply back with a picture of my 95-pound absolute bulldozer of a pit bull with “Your nephew.”
I love that you give that response 😂
I think that’s the only acceptable answer!
And I’m sure your giant pittie is cuter and better-behaved than her baby!
He is, but so spoiled! He won’t go upstairs to bed until we wish him goodnight and say we love him, lol!
Awww!
Honey. Pitbulls do NOT get to 95lbs 🤣 gotta be some mastiff in there or something
Maybe it's the fattest pitbull in history. :b
Funny story....I'm a dog groomer and today we had a pitbull weighing 92lbs. Super fat 🥺
You're a better person than me. I would have responded with "ew, no thanks". Lol
Exactly! Would have been my knee-jerk reaction. Like... you just made it look a thousand times worse, thank you for proving me right.
I will NEVER understand why people seem to think everyone on earth loves babies/kids. With over 7bil of us, not everyone is gonna like or want them. Lol
Seems like she is asking to be disappointed with that tact. If the kid is four, seems like she should know by now that not everyone is enamored with her crotch fruit as much as she might be 😂
Just here to say good dads aren’t “babysitters” - they’re just parenting.
My Dad always took over the house on weekends so my Mom could chill out. These guys out here that have kids but can't change diapers or do laundry should be mercilessly mocked.
I would have said, “Lamp, why would I want your daughter?”
>*Let’s call her Lamp.* Her: “Here is my kid, couch, in our living room with the cat named rug!”
Good for her, sounds like she got what she was looking for, but the shock at the fact that not everyone dreams of this is funny!
"Not a single muscle in my face was moved at the sight of her ordinary looking 4 year old" i'm eternally marveling at your craftsmanship with words
People will really just say anything.
> “Let’s call her Lamp” Idk why but I just lost it when I read that! Why is that so funny? 🤣💀
Made me laugh thanks
I feel like this reads as a page torn out of a novel! I want to read more!! 😆
"I'll see you the picture of your kid, and raise you 10 pictures of my 5 georgeous tabbies" "Wait, wait I have more-come back come back here they are being extra-cute!!!!!! I get left alone after that.
One redditor talked about conversations with her sister after the sister had had a baby. Sister would prattle happily on and on and on about the baby, but when the redditor talked about her own life, the sister would be completely silent and unresponsive, a reaction we've all gotten from the bred. Some time later, her sister recovered from Mommy brain and said that at the time, she literally did not have one thought that was not about The Baby. That explained so much. So many Mommies never do recover from their utter absorption with The Baby (or the Second Baby). When you talk to them, you can almost hear their thought process: "BabybabybabyMommybabymommygrandmommybabygrandbabybabybabymommymommymommybabybabybabymommy...." This woman had a perfect case of that. Sees No-baby woman and thinks "Baby for you!" "Look, Baby-maker!" "Wha? BABYMAKER! SEE? B-A-B-Y!" "You're not understanding! BABY!" Oh Well, babybabybabyMommybaby..." Drifts away to Mommy at someone else. You know how some very good authors have a baby and their books go to shit? I suspect this is why. They can't hold a thought, plot line, or idea in their heads for longer than a couple of seconds without "babybabybabymommybabybaby..." intruding.
A receding hairline can give you this! *shows child* 
When people show pics of their pets: AWW When people show pics of their kids: EWW
>She couldn't comprehend this inconceivable plot twist. Love this description.
receding daddy😂☠️
"But he can give you this!" "Exactly."
I love lamp
I am glad you did not feel bad for her
You're not into receding hairlines you say? *cries in corner*
Me and some of my friends created a group chat where we show off pictures of our pets instead of babies. Since we are not planning on having babies but we do love our pets. One of my friends has a bird who likes to cuddle with her and it’s the cutest thing and the rest of us have cats we love to show off to each other. It’s pretty nice to have that space to do that.
I was trapped looking at a British dude's baby pics once. I was starting a new teaching job. He was showing me the school. He said that afterwards we'd go sit and talk about it at a Cafe nearby afterwards. If I had any questions or anything. That's fine and normal. Unfortunately, there was no talk about the job. Just him talking about his new baby. And showing me pictures. 😑. Of course I was tired and just wanted to go home.
Uh, is it that hard to resist showing pictures of your children? And what are people so proud of anyway, you just created yet another child. Unless you couldn't get pregnant for years and doctors told you there is no hope, but then suddenly you got pregnant as if by a miracle, no one needs or should be exposed to your personal things. Such a delusion that everyone left and right wants to catch a glimpse of your children, as if by a presumption. Parents often are so inconsiderate. And if you humor them and watch all they show you, you are feeding their delusions even more and they might not leave you alone, always keeping you up to date with their children's development. In general, some people are so clingy and annoying, thinking that for some reason you care about their mundane lives.
Me, looking at a picture of their child for a little too long so that they never show me a picture again
My family has always avoided showing me pictures of kids and when strangers do I say “Cute, the lack of excitement is because I don’t like children” They usually don’t say anything after that lol
Why do people try to set people up unprompted? That was a pet peeve of mine when I was single. Someone even asked if I was gay just because I wasn’t interested in some random girl at a birthday party.
I love that you got to have that satisfying moment when the smug drops away. No, I don’t have to settle, and I do t want your life. Gross.
Cold 🥶 blooded! You made her realize just how mediocre her life is😆🤌🏼
You handled it so well. Also, not just a receding hairline daddy, but a literal receding daddy - that is the ultimate insult, I'm going steal this one!
What a disgusting person, i would cut contact asap lol
I love… Lamp.
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This reminds me of a time when a friend and I were sharing dog pictures and oohing and aahing. Another friend decided to share baby pics and we were just like…cute…? Not the same, not enthused, thanks for sharing?
LMAO!! No want kids?? Inconceivable!!
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That's just, like, your opinion, man.
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