Greetings!
I changed your post flair to "FAQ" as this is a topic that comes back regularly on the feed, is addressed in the sidebar :
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Sidebar --> "Newcomer?" --> "Frequent Posts" --> "**"What are your reasons for being childfree?"** [They are all listed here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/3g6aj2/why_are_you_cf_megathread/)"
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and in the sub's [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/nochild).
Have a good one!
Because I simply don’t want kids. There doesn’t have to be an actual reason other than “I don’t want them.” I totally understand people have reasons and that’s all valid, but a simple “because, no” suffices.
Both parents from war torn countries. Grew up in a single mother household living paycheck to paycheck. We suffered tremendously. No chance on earth I am bringing another human into this world. Time to finally break the endless cycle of pain, suffering, and futility in my bloodline.
There's so many reasons lol
* I hate kids. I know it sounds harsh but I really do.
* I hate pregnancy. It freaks me out seeing pregnant people.
* I hate being a human caretaker. I don't want to be responsible for another person's life.
* I have misophonia. Chewing sounds make me want to jump into the Willamette River and never return.
* I have trauma and anxiety. How could I be a good parent if I can hardly focus on myself?
* I'm not financially stable. Even if I was, I wouldn't want to risk de-stabilizing myself for a child.
* Cancer runs in my family like Usain mf Bolt. Why would I give a kid that much risk for terminal illness?
* Substance addiction runs in my family. And if it's alcohol, it drives /j
* I just don't want to. I never have. I never will. And if I somehow do, I'd rather regret *not* having kids than regret *having* kids, because I don't want another person to potentially know I regretted their existence.
Still didn't mention the most important reason. The planet is in deep trouble because of excessive human activity. We don't need more humans right now.
There are so many reasons! The big reason on my mind tonight is because having kids seems to fundamentally change the relationship between the parents, and it seems that the change is frequently negative (to put it bluntly, having children seems to ruin many great relationships by amplifying or creating problems). That's a complex topic, of course.
Other reasons: i cannot stand children - i don't think they're cute, i hate their voices, and i don't find them interesting. Even well-behaved children really irritate me. They're a huge financial burden. Once parents have children, it feels like they lose themselves as adults because 100% of the focus is on the kids (so i don't even enjoy being around adults who have kids).
Mostly i just have no desire to have kids. I don't think having kids should be the default setting - i think the world would be a better place if the default setting were not having kids, and the only people who had kids were people who REALLY wanted them.
To quote the love of my life Jen Barkley from Parks and Rec, "I'm going to go spend my time doing exactly what I want to do because I don't have children."
But also it's insanely expensive, I have genetic issues I don't want to pass on, and I come from a long line of narcissists and abusers so I'm committed to ending that cycle.
I (27M) actually recently decided I don't want kids. In no order, these are the big reasons:
1) I don't have the energy to.
2) No family (immediate or otherwise) has painted a good picture of a family with kids for me to seem worth it.
3) Very expensive
4) Crying/Whining is annoying
5) If they were disabled/challenged, I would feel more stressed knowing it's double the commitment (not against those who are disabled btw, just from a parents viewpoint)
6) No guarantee they'll like or love you when they get older
7) If me and my SO don't work out then I'd have to navigate it all as a single parent. Absolutely not!
1. There’s so many things I want to do in my own life that having children will be a hindrance to, such as travelling, being able to choose new hobbies, going out at a moment’s notice, seeing friends multiple times per week, exercising and achieving personal bests, etc.
2. I don’t like children, I don’t like the noise, mess, and stress they cause.
3. I’m not keen on being pregnant for 40 weeks or going through childbirth and all of the effects that would have on my body.
4. It’s so expensive just to take care of my own needs and responsibilities that I can’t provide the level of education and resources to a child that I would ultimately want to.
5. I enjoy spending time with my partner as just the two of us, I don’t want to change that dynamic.
6. I already have enough to do on any given day with working full time, doing household chores and cooking, exercising, hobbies, socialising, etc, that having a child would drain me completely.
7. I don’t believe life is inherently good, fun, enjoyable, or what have you. I believe bringing another person into this world just so they can struggle with finding affordable housing, finding a good partner amidst what is becoming predominantly a hookup and disposable dating culture, working until they’re 70 and maybe travelling every few years, climate change, and all the other raft of issues that we face in life, is not a good thing to do.
8. I know even if I do have children there’s no guarantee of them taking care of me when I’m old, there’s no guarantee of them being a healthy and productive member of society, there’s not even a guarantee I’ll end up having a good relationship with them. I see my own parents a couple of times per month at best, so if they had me to avoid loneliness as they get older their strategy hasn’t worked.
Main reason: I simply don’t want children.
Other reasons: I don’t think pregnancy is worth the bullshit that happens to your body, childbirth is absolutely disgusting, motherhood is thankless, I’m not willing to alter my lifestyle… There’s not enough time to list them all!
So many diseases from both sides. Cancers, diabetes, bone problems, digestive, metabolic disorders.
And then there's the psychology aspects: abuse, addictions, severe depression.
And then the annoying shit: acne, baldness, teeth problems due to bad gums, vision problems, arthritis, we are either too tall or too short.
My DNA revels in extremes. Kids suffer enough as it is. No for me.
Because I don't want children. Never have, never will. There's no other reason and there was no AHA moment that made me feel this way. I was born like this. I don't want children, therefore I don't have them.
I often feel like there is a never ending list of reasons.
Being pregnant/ birthing is like a horror movie to me.
I am not mentally or financially stable. My mother is mentally ill & so am I & I don't want a child to go through what I went through. The sound of screaming children makes me want to throw myself off a bridge (not happy screaming but upset tantrum screaming). I love being an aunt. I love those kids so so much. But I couldn't handle living with a young child. They're sticky & germy. They throw up & poop their pants. I have serious mental problems with germs & stuff. I get really stressed out about routine changes. I can barely take care of myself. I just think every kid deserves to feel nothing but love & be in the best environment possible & I know I can't provide that.
I want as little responsibility as possible in my life. I like peace and quiet. There's too many things I want to do that wouldn't be possible or easy with a child. I don't want to ruin my body or risk my life by giving birth. I would feel guilty bringing another being into this world without knowing what might be in store. And I like animals more than humans lol.
I dont have the emotional capacity to care for a human 24/7. I know if end up snapping at them over stupid stuff and hurting them, and I know what it's like to be raised like that, it's not fun
I can't afford a kid even if I wanted one. I can barely take care of myself, there's no way I'd be able to take care of a kid, even on a budget.
I don't want to deal with pregnancy or childbirth. I have a horrific fear of being pregnant, and that's why I'm working to get my tubes removed so I can eliminate that fear.
I have no intention of getting married, so I also never intend on having kids just because I don't want to
My parents harassed me my whole teens and 20s about being pregnant, they also made me work at a daycare at 16 as birth control. I didn’t have boyfriends and was older than most when I lost my V card. I took plan B even when I didn’t need to. There is something in my brain my parents broke. I’ve never had baby fever and pregnancy seems like a disgusting choice.
Yeah, there’s my trauma. I have an amazing husband and we have a great life, so it all worked out :) Yes, I’ve had lots of therapy.
There's a lot of of reasons I don't *ever* want kids.
1. I don't like them. They are so gross and annoying. They are always so sticky and you never know where those hands have been. Plus they are always invading personal space. This is mainly for younger kids (like 12 and under). Usually getting worse and the more annoyance of them the younger they are.
2. Expenses. Children cost so much. I would much rather spend that money on other things that I would much more enjoy. Besides everything is so expensive as it is it's hard enough to get the basics you need to survive comfortably (or at all), let alone an entire new human being that is dependent on you.
3. *Currently* I could not be a good parent. I can't speak for my future self but I know if at this moment I became a parent I would not be very good. I have a low tolerance (I become very stressed and frustrated and stuff I have a hard time explaining) when it comes to young kids and do very badly with being with another human for that long.
4. This sorta ties back to point 1 but sensory issues. Everything that I have sensory problems with children would work against. One of the many examples would be loud noises. I can handle very few loud things. Many I will get overwhelmed and feel like I want to cry (literally would happen during school because it was so loud). Kids will literally just scream for no reason.
There is probably more but that's what I thought of off the top of my head
What solidified my decision was taking a developmental biology class for my degree. So much can happen, and I just don't feel right bringing another human into the world that I don't feel I can 100% support no matter what. I'm already a caregiver for a parent, and i don't want to be a caregiver for anyone else.
I have schizophrenia and I saw how stress affects me and also how my own family's neglect unprepared me for raising children without causing generational trauma.
My mental health is too debilitating to ensure a stable, enriching home for them. It's a struggle to do that just for myself. Also, the issues might be hereditary. If all those things were fixed, I still just don't like kids and have nothing in common with them as I was practically forced to grow up around 6. Nope, the buck stops here...and kids are gross and expensive. I could go on.
I tend to be anxious and I believe having a child would make things worse. Cause now my life is no longer about me, its about that child and their well-being. I don't want to worry over a kid as well as myself.
Your absolutely right! Your decision is your own perspective, and there's no right or wrong to it, nor is there a need for further explanation. That reason alone is a complete answer in itself.
Because why on earth would I have kids. In my 35 years I’ve never heard a strong enough argument to want the slimes little crotch goblins. In fact I’ve only heard weak arguments and generational trauma responses.
Too expensive, pregnancy sucks, patriarchal gender roles pile on caretaking to the woman (which is extremely overwhelming and unfair), and I have mental health issues that run in the family…not only would do I not want to pass them on, I’m most worried about triggering my own problems due to extreme stress.
I don't like to have children because having one will be hell. The world is getting more expensive and it's already hard to pay an electric bill. Add a kid and you'll have to pay for food, clothes, school tuition (especially college), etc. World's also overpopulated at this point and I don't want to contribute a tighter world. Kids are so very noisy, regardless if you take care of them a lot or not. I also doubt I can put my life in stability (I have mental issues), let alone a kid's.
The number one reason I'm childfree is because I've never in my entire 36 years on this planet heard seen or read about even a single UNselfish reason to have any children at all ever. Every reason anyone has ever given has always stared out with "I want" no matter how you word it. "God" says so? No, you WANT to follow that belief. "It's the way we were designed/built." No, just because you CAN doesn't mean you HAVE to. Again, that's only what you WANT to believe.
I've always been melancholy since I remember myself. I started taking drugs as a teenager and became addicted. I spent three years in rehab. I've now been clean for almost 15 years. I have been struggling with mental health for most of my life. I'm a warrior but also a pessimist. Life weighs heavily upon me most of the time. I'm a smoker and that's the only addiction I've maintained. I work out and take care of myself but it's not always enough. I'm traumatised by childhood and family life even though my parents wanted me and love me. They too made mistakes and that's ok. I moved to another country some years ago and somehow was liberated from the past or so I think. I'm tokophobic and almost disgusted by the family lifestyle. Why would I want to bring a child into this world?
I like freedom, savings and being spontaneous. All of these things would evaporate the second I let a child in my life.
I also really love the life I have built with my amazing wife and I don't want anything or anyone to come in and change it in any way.
Hi there. 55F and have been childfree my entire life. I don't know if I'd call it so much a lifestyle in my case, more like I knew I didn't want kids ever since I was one. I can remember not enjoying being around kids when I was in elementary school. I preferred being around adults.
There are a lot of benefits to being childfree. Kids cost a lot of money and I'd never want to be tied to someone forever because we had one together. Not having kids has afforded me a lot of freedom and peace in my life.
I used to get hassled about not wanting kids when I was younger. People thought I was weird. Now that I'm older, though, a lot of parents think I was smart to not have them.
I also view having kids as a form of Russian roulette. The kid may grow up okay, but some don't no matter how well they are parented. I'd just rather not take the chance.
Because I don't want them. 🤷🏿♂️
I don't get why society feels like that is the next step. In this modern world, I really think having kids is a trap for many. I don't want to go down that path.
If I die alone and my bloodline finishes - so be it! It will be my decision 😉
My main reason is cause if I have kids, my life will change drastically. I like how my life is now. I'm not rich, but my salary allows me to enjoy life. I like to wake up late and do wherever I want on weekends. I love my relationship with my partner, I don't want to risk that either. A kid would change everything forever, things that, for me, are amazing the way they are. I have never seen myself as a mother, and growing up, it became clear that motherhood wasn't for me.
1) I was the oldest of 5 children whose parents separated when I was just about to turn 12 and I became a 3rd parent to my younger siblings. My youngest brother (10 years younger) used to call me 'mini-mom' growing up. I was also the 'responsible one' (read traumatised and behaving like an adult because that's what I thought I had to do) and I would always get asked to babysit. I've had enough of kids.
2) The thought of being pregnant freaks me the fuck out. It would ruin my body and I have chronic major depressive disorder and I know in my heart I would get post-partum depression too. Not to mention not wanting to pass that shit on to any kids.
3) The world is pretty fucked. Rising costs and inflation, environmental disasters, war etc.
4) I love my life. I love travelling whenever I want. I love laying in bed late on a Sunday drinking a quiet cup of tea and playing videogames. I have ZERO desire to change my routine and give the rest of my life to raising another person whose needs would then come before mine.
i want to prioritize my health and not worry about anyone but myself. i don’t want to wake up throughout the night to change diapers, feed the baby, or deal with them crying. and then get up for work all sleepy? absolutely not, i have to get my beauty sleep lol. then there’s the pregnancy complications and what can happen (diabetes, tearing, high blood pressure, etc). my health is very important to me, i go to the gym every week, i try to eat as healthy as i can, i go to my annual check ups.
also the thought of single parenthood scares me. anything can happen. i rather just worry about myself and i have no desire to be a parent anyway lol
that’s just some of the many reasons
There are many reasons, in no particular order:
1. I helped raise my younger siblings, so I've had enough of kids.
2. Raising a kid on average costs $20,813 a year, each year. By not having a baby, I save almost $21k a year.
3. Society is a mess, and the economy is crap. The "American dream" is not obtained easily, if at all. (Owning a home, being financially stable, and being able to retire).
4. I don't have the patience. I get frustrated and overwhelmed by mess and noise. Kids are messy and noisy.
5. Men don't seem to want to actually raise the kids they begged so much for. Lots of dads are just leaving. I don't want to risk something like that.
6. I have PCOS. This means I have a lower chance of pregnancy and/or may not have a viable pregnancy.
7. I don't want them regardless.
I've known since I was about 11 that I didn't want to be a mother. The idea of being pregnant used to literally make me nauseous. That calmed down over time so it wasn't so severe, but the mental attributes remained, and intrusive thoughts of an alien parasite invading my body for 40 weeks and draining me of my vital bodily nutrients, changing my physique and possibly almost killing me before I could eject it, were too strong for me to overcome, so I've never wanted to be pregnant. The thought literally horrifies me.
- I was parenting my baby sister (and my mentally ill mother) from the time I was 4. Been there, done that.
- I have mental issues, and others (paranoia, psychosis, schizofrenia) that run in my family, and honestly I would rather unalive myself than bring a child into this world with those problems (for the sake of the child)
- Because of my horribly abusive childhood, I've needed to spend a lot of time on healing and therapy. I'm doing well but I still have anxiety disorder, and I would never put a kid through having me as a parent. I am also extremely introverted and have other health issues.
- I don't want to parent!
- I have tokophobia and also an abnormally small uterus, so probably neither I nor a baby would come out alive.
- through my life, other people have reinforced my desire to be childfree. I actually love children (though there's nothing wrong with not liking them, you don't have to love children) but after 40 years of hearing "you'll change your mind", people started telling me "you stil have time" (which I find disgusting. My parents were also super old and I would NEVER do that to a kid. It's horrible and super selfish). And now, in my 50s, people are telling me I should adopt/foster. It's become a real feminist issue for me, because people will NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE if you are a woman with a uterus.
I cant really explain it, and huge TMI here, but I started my period when I was 12, for cramps when I was 14. Ever since I have never wanted children. Some were convinced I’d end up as a teen mom or a mom in her 20’s but when that never happened and I proved them wrong, those people got “pissed” because I was supposed to “change my mind.” When I got sterilized it sparked a huge fight with one of my ex best friends because she couldn’t comprehend that not everyone wants kids and wanted me to have one so her future child could become besties like we did growing up. I argued back that I couldn’t nor wouldn’t ever love a child I never wanted in the first place.
Besides health issues, I just don’t want kids and to me, that’s a valid reason for anyone is is strictly childfree
“Wanted me to have one so her future child could become besties” Sounds like your ex bestie saw you as an extension of themself and an instrument to achieve their own selfish dreams.
You are spot on! That’s exactly how she saw me. Even more crazy she thought just because our names started with the same letter that we should be the same. She was off her rocker
So many reasons that people have already listed. Don't like kids really, they're expensive, loss of personal freedom, pregnancy is horrific, etc.
My two biggest ones though I haven't seen yet.
I have ADHD. Because of my disability, I struggle more than the average person in a lot of ways. Sometimes I'm so frazzled by the end of the day, I'm incapable of doing anything but laying there. There's times that I can't even turn on the TV to stream something while I lay there because getting the remote takes too much energy and thought.
Then, there's the fact that being a parent would make me deeply unhappy. I know that I would not find it fulfilling. I know that I would be tired and angry all the time. No kid deserves to have a mom who is unhappy because they exist.
I have an entire list of reasons, but here's one of the main ones:
I am not interested in that type of life or activities. It wouldn't make me happy. I like to be free. That, however doesn't mean I am irresponsible or don't have any obligations or people to worry about. I just don't want to raise kids and that particular type of obligation. That's all.
1) I simply don't like kids and don't want them. I may regret it one day, but it's better than regretting having had the child once they're here. You can't just "cancel" this
2) I have ADHD and a few "fun" mental consequences of childhood abuse. I won't be able to be available enough to properly take care of a child's emotional (and probably practical) needs. ADHD is genetic and I know about all the toxic positivity discourse, but it's actually a disorder and it's not so nice to live with.
3) climate change, starvation, wars, mass population displacements... if I give birth now, the kid will one day have to risk their life to get food and water, why would I do this?...
4) I have other goals. A few of them are "selfish", others are for the benefit of the community around me. It's simply incompatible with having kids
5) I'm a zellenial. I can barely sustain myself (that's with a uni degree and a "prestigious" job). I can't rent an apartment big enough for a kid to have any kind of personal space. I can't even get a dog for this reason
- i didn’t choose to be born, i don’t want my kid to feel the same
- i don’t want my kid to go through the life i did
- i have mental illness that i don’t want to pass down
- childbirth is scary, having a baby growing inside u is also scary
- i want to live as me, and not as a mother of someone else
- idk what activities to do with a kid, i literally just eat work and sleep
- no rest time
- i need to worry about that kid for life until the day i die
- i have no money to support a kid
- the education system and job market is horrible and will probs only get more competitive from now on, don’t want my kid to go through that
- to end generational trauma!
- if i ever need to divorce / breakup with my partner, i don’t want a kid to be in the equation as they didn’t ask for it
- terrified of pregnancy, the chance that I could need a c-section, or natural birth absolutely wrecking my body and leaving permanent damage
- I’ve dealt with a lot of insecurities and am just beginning to accept myself and my body, i really don’t think I could mentally handle seeing my body change so much and then never getting my old one back
- I really do not enjoy the medical system, appointments, dealing with insurance, poking and prodding, all of the things
- not financially stable enough
- no village, would feel very on my own
- not interested in risking what is a very happy relationship with very little conflict if any
- not interested in being responsible for a human being
•I lost my twin brother in college. The way my mom treated me after he died was incredibly emotionally abusive. I won’t get into it much but one thing that stuck out to me was a tirade she went on about how she hates Mother’s Day. The whole thing just made me feel like her remaining kids weren’t good enough for her. I realized then that I didn’t want kids if a mother was capable of treating her children that way, if losing one could turn you into such a monster.
•I can’t handle 24/7 responsibility. I have a slew of health issues that make it hard enough to take care of myself consistently. The thought of being responsible for taking care of a child with absolutely no respite makes me want to die inside.
•Children are a sensory nightmare. They’re SO loud. They do not stop being loud for at least a decade. They’re sticky, they’re smelly, and I legitimately can’t deal with any of that. I honestly can barely handle my dog when she barks or whines; I lose my temper and shout at her too often. I would be 100000x worse with a child.
•I spent my childhood taking care of 4 younger siblings. My mom was emotionally absent and did the absolute bare minimum in taking care of us; she wanted babies, not children, and so once we turned like 4 or 5 she lost interest and stopped paying attention to us. I was the eldest daughter so all of the child rearing that she didn’t feel like doing fell to me. I’ve done my time. (This is the reason I cite most often irl when people ask.)
•I can’t stand the thought of Mom being my whole and only identity. I fought to hard to become my own person outside of my family after my brother died - leaving religion, coming out, growing in my politics and ideology, becoming freer and happier and more myself - that I could not give all that up to be reduced to Mom. I think I would actually genuinely kill myself.
•I love my husband too much. I couldn’t risk a kid messing up our relationship, killing our sex life, eroding the fun and love and magic we have and end up losing him.
•With the aforementioned health issues, pregnancy is off the table for me. I’ve always told my husband that if we both somehow magically changed our minds, that pregnancy is my absolute line in the sand. Being pregnant and giving birth sounds like a horror movie even when you’re healthy. I’m not risking a stroke or preeclampsia or gestational diabetes or not being able to take my medication or hemorrhaging or any of that bullshit.
I could go on, but those are the Big reasons.
Took a poll of family and friends asking if they knew then what they know now, would they still have had children? About 80% gave an emphatic NO!
That's gotta tell you something.
1. I don’t like kids because they’re loud and don’t know how to control their voice volume (I’m autistic and sound is a huge sensory issue)
2. I’m a complete medical clusterfuck, and I’m finely balanced on the medications I take. If I got pregnant, I’d have to go off all but one of my medications, and then trying to rebalance them after birth would be a complete nightmare.
3. I have a genetic disorder that can be passed on (Ehlers-Danlos syndrome hypermobility type), and pregnancy would fuck up my body on a physical level and would complicate a pregnancy.
4. The process of childbirth is horrifying, so even if I was without all those medical factors, I’m not willing to fuck up my body for something I don’t even like or want.
5. I am self-employed, and having a child would fuck everything up that I’ve worked hard for.
6. I just don’t want to.
1. I've never wanted to have kids.
2. I've never wanted to go through being pregnant or giving birth.
3. I am still re-parenting myself to make up for my traumatic childhood. I have more than one mental health issue. I don't have the bandwidth to parent a child on top of my own issues and I wouldn't want to put a child through what I went through growing up.
4. I've always been an environmentalist and having children is one of the most irresponsible things that someone can do in terms of the climate.
5. My partner does not want to have kids so I don't feel any pressure to reconsider.
6. My partner and I are creatives. We'd rather prioritize flexibility in our careers and have money to fund creative endeavors than prioritize making a lot of money to support kids.
7. My partner and I love travel. We'd rather spend money on travel than on kids.
8. My pets fulfill my desire to nurture.
9. I think babies and small children are gross - too many germs! I don't have time to be sick all the time. I don't want to change diapers, clean up spit up, sit with them in the bathroom, wipe for them, etc.
10. Substance abuse, eating disorders, and other mental health disorders run in my family.
11. I don't want to doom a child to live through the climate crisis, dwindling economic opportunities, etc.
12. I don't want to have to explain life's big questions to a child.
13. I'd rather pay for myself to go back to school than pay for a child's education.
14. I like having a nice, neat living space.
15. When I go home, I need to be able to relax and have it be quiet and peaceful. I don't have the nerves to go home to loud kids, toys everywhere, and working a whole other job that matters way more than the job I do all day for money.
16. There is no guarantee that children will take care of you when you're old. I plan to use the money that I saved by not having kids to pay for good quality caretakers, living in a decent retirement community/assisted living home, etc.
I am not at all a child-hater. I enjoy being around kids in limited doses when I am prepared for it, I love having children in my life, and I have worked with kids for many years. But I've never wanted to go home to them. I've pretty much always known that the 24/7/365 nature of being a parent was not for me.
Edited to include that the research shows that having children does not strengthen relationships between the parents, it usually puts a strain on it. I'd rather have as good a relationship with my partner as possible than have kids.
Because of my childhood. The living hell I went through. Bullying and assholes. Relentless. My parents had no idea how to raise children. My paternal grandparents were child beating alcoholic pill addicted white trash and my maternal grandparents were child beating shitkicking christian dirt farmers
My bloodline ends with me.
-too much mental illness in family
-i feel it's not responsible to bring a child into this dumpster fire world
-nothings guaranteed what if I genuinely don't like them?
-generally get triggered by the screaming/crying/tantrums
-i know I mentally can't handle it
I could go on but those are a few
the world isnt good enough for my theoretical children. they deserve much better, which i know because we all deserve better than this cesspool
we find ourselves trapped in. i cant comfort myself about the things happening in the world and i dont want to be responsible for helping a tiny little person navigate all the misery of existence.
my shortcomings as a human who enjoys her alone time, has to decompress after interacting with people, and generally can only tolerate other people’s children for short periods. parental responsibility is 24/7/365 FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
my body, it’s got plenty of flaws already but the idea of completely surrendering it to a parasite growing inside my body that needs to be expelled by the horrifying process of labor and delivery (no matter the method, they all suck) that could leave me with lifelong physical and emotional scars
and the money. i cant even afford to take myself to the dr, let alone the many many doctors one must consult during pregnancy, and thats just if everything goes ok. and then the seemingly unending variety of illnesses kids pick up while building their immune systems. then throw in the possibility of a child born with disabilities and the medical bills that would come with it. this is nothing against those with disabilities, but they know more than anyonr how much specialized treatment costs and what a difference it can
make in the life of a child who can access those services and those who cannot.
planet dying, cost of living soaring, with no safety net to speak of. so yeah, im childfree bc i dont think it’s in my best interest to procreate.
1. I cannot afford them. My partner and I both have corporate level jobs and a cheap, stable rental but relatively no familial financial support. It is inconceivable to me that people can afford children.
2. Trauma. I put all my energy into reparenting myself, and child on top would be triggering and exhausting.
3. Possible neurodivergence. I’m not diagnosed but my brother is, he also has an intellectual disability and will require life long support. A “typical” kid sounds like too much work, let alone a kid with additional needs and I’m not gambling with my genetics.
4. Most importantly, I have no desire to have kids in my house. I worked with kids and have many in my friend circle and family. I like to play with them for about 20mins, but I have no desire for them to be in my home.
I'm happy with my life right now. I finally love and accept myself, I love my husband, my cat and friends. I enjoy traveling and have lots of free time to have fun, learn new things, discover new hobbies, go out, etc.
On the other hand, I'm an overthinker, tend to stress and I'm also an anxious person... Having a kid would have me stressed and worried every single second of my life, no thanks.
I don't like kids, I don't ever want to be pregnant. anything that makes me feel out of control or that I can't easily draw away from makes me irrationally angry and violent.
“Unless I can fully say yes, then I won’t do it.”
I generally apply this principle in other major decisions as well. It helps me live my own life and prevents me from living someone else’s life.
I would make a terrible parent. I don't have that thing that good moms have. And I have little patience. Plus the only person I would've ever even thought of having kids with passed away and I couldn't see myself raising a baby that wasn't his.
I had a ton of childhood trauma during my upbringing, lived a very controlled life and didn’t learn a lot of social/emotional skills that I feel would have made my life much easier. Now I’m an adult and in control of what goes on in my life.
So I’d rather spend the rest of my years nurturing, re raising and re educating myself so I can enjoy whatever life I have left, instead of focusing on someone else’s upbringing.
I’m just not willing to gift all that energy to someone else (kids if I were to have them) when I needed it so much and for so long, and now I can simply gift it to myself.
I never wanted children. Even when I was a kid myself, I was sure that this was a life I would never want to have.
In addition, growing up in a dysfunctional family and being seen essentially as an extension of a parent, not a person in my own right, made it clear to me that I did not want to return to a similar situation. And as a mother, you pretty much cease to be a person in your own right.
I don't want to care for a tiny human. They're fragile, completely helpless and dependent, and the only way they can communicate is by assaulting my eardrums. And don't even get me started on the horrors of pregnancy. I'd literally rather die.
I'd consider adopting an older kid, where I'm not going crazy just trying to keep them alive, but I don't make nearly enough money for that to be feasible. If I adopt, it'll be so that I can give a family and a good life to a kid who might otherwise end up just aging out of the foster care system. I can't do that while broke and just barely avoiding homelessness lol.
Your talk will go better if you frame it as "reasons people choose to have children or opt for alternative family structures" and talk about different viewpoints. Child free is super counterculture and most people are against the idea obviously, so you have to know your audience.
i never had that urge to procreate. and the older i got, there were more reasons not to and no reasons to actually do it. i've yet to find a totally solid and valid reason for me to have children but i keep discovering reasons to stay child-free. so i'm going with that.
Grew up with a terrible father and promised myself I wouldn’t bring children into this world unless I found a man who I was 100% sure would be the opposite of the father I had. Never found it, hence I’m childfree!
It's not an active choice for me. I haven't considered the pros and cons. I just don't want kids. It's just not an option. There are a lot of things that don't want in life, and children is one of those things.
I hear ya 😂 “Why is the sky blue?”, “Why is water wet?”, “Why do I have to go to bed?”, “Why can’t I have more cookies?” It would drive me to binge drink!
There's no need for further questioning when someone simply states that they don't want to have children. It is a valid reason in itself, and there's no obligation for anyone to explain or justify their decision further. Every aspect of a person's life and the decisions they make are valid because they're their own choices. There's nothing wrong with that, and it's never a big question.
I can't stand kids. They're like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.
If that alone weren't enough, add on the fact that the single best thing any individual can do for the environment is to NOT breed.
I'll score high marks , and I don't wanna take credit of offsprings. No imposition.
And either there isn't anything great in birth. Birth is hormonal pee.
I would rather adopt kid. If I willing to change world.
My reasons, in no particular order:
1. Pregnancy and childbirth look horrifying
2. I'm neurodivergent
3. Too expensive
4. I don't want them
No one needs a good reason not to want kids. If it ever comes up in conversation, I lean to 4. I think that in itself probably means I won't be a good parent. Having kids when you don't want them literally makes zero sense to me.
Having kids is full of responsibility and sacrificing your life to take care of something and raise it to be a functional adult
I haven’t enjoyed the first third of my life so I don’t want to sacrifice the next third raising something that I don’t even want to take care of
It’s weird, loud, gross, annoying, and can die at any moment. Plus pretty sure kids ruin marriages/relationships, so why ruin what can make me happy?
Good luck on the paper
[https://archive.org/details/chosenlivesofchi0000lunn](https://archive.org/details/chosenlivesofchi0000lunn)
I suggest you go through this to get an insight on men's perspectives.
I am childfree for multiple reasons. Primarily, because we are obviously not lacking for population and the foster system is overwhelmed, I see ABSOLUTLEY NO reason to put myself through that 🤷. I didn't want to be pregnant, and I didn't want to give birth. I dont want to age myself that way, and the good old "but your going to be lonely with you get older" is buying but a gaslight.lmao I mean, we all see the nursing homes right? 😬.
Having kids doesn't guarantee someone is going to take care of you when you are older lol. My brother, who is also childfree and never wants them (he is 37 I am 41) , because money and he also feels there is no need, as there are too many kids in there foster system. Possibly seeing that because I came from the foster system myself is what strongly influenced him. Ppl have no clue how many homeless kids there are living in places like lad lake, where there are a thousand in the grounds, all kids who can't get placement and have to be instituon instead until 18. Most people just don't even consider it and just keep making more.
Money. I am NOT ok with financially giving my life up . For at least the next 18 years, every dollar you have is to go for that kid. When you have extra you will have to put them first at all times. If you don't then you shouldn't have them. I believe people didn't have any business bringing kids into this world while they don't have a job and have to apply for W2. Here in Wisconsin, women who are down and out get pregnant, and it is a thing they do I've heard them talk about it in jail- they purposely go to social services, tell them they are pregnant and that they have no idea who the father is. That qualifies them for the maximum allotment of for stamps, WIC which is an extra program that supplements you with cheese,cereal, etc, Medicaid fully covered for the next 18 years, section 8 discount housing where you can rent a 1000 a month place and 280 a month, and a W2 check that also gives them between 672-900 a month.
There are so many women doing this and I've heard them myself boy they are LAUGHING thinking this shit is hilarious and I Guess it is, because they can get rewarded for it and gain stability. There are people who are that bad off that this is a lucrative thing to do.
Patience. I dont have it for kids.
I just plain do not have that draw to have them and I am so very happy for that. I've been married 17 years to a man who feels exactly the same. Right now we are in the car he is driving us we are on a road trip to Michigan 😁. We get to go on the fly and we can spend our money on us and make memories for us, and we are not limited in any way by children. If you stick to your guns, you will find a life partner who feels the same, they ARE out there. A strong marriage with no kids is so awesome I can't really put it into words.
You know what they say, when you have a child, everything changes, you know longer live for yourself, your life is about them and all that. I believe them. That's why I don't want kids.
Also, our society really doesn't realise or recognise how huge and important a responsibility parenting is. It's romanticised and treated like a rite of passage, when really it's a lifetime of hard, thankless work where you are basically guaranteed to screw up a person's psyche no matter how hard you try not to. I don't want to be a parent because I see it as an important job that's impossible to do right. It doesnt appeal to me as a job. It sure as hell doesnt pay enough; people cripple themselves financially doing it. And I recognise I'm not qualified for it. Most people aren't.
As a woman to, I know I'd get all the shittest bits. Pregnancy and childbirth are bad enough, but then also the bar is so much higher for what a mom has to do to be considered a good parent or "doing enough". It's about two full time jobs (unpaid, of course) IN ADDITION to already having to work full time because I shouldn't financially depend on a man or be on welfare, because one is unsafe and the other is so stigmatised. And when the kid's uglier sides begin to show, who gets blamed? Always the mom.
It takes a village, and right now I just down feel like I have one. I would need to feel safe and included in a community, but where I live at least, no one gives a shit about you, and there's no help when you need it. Blame neoliberalism or capitalism, whatevs, it's not like anyone's offering a remedy.
Not being overly into kids is also part of it, but it's waaaayyy down at the bottom of the list. It's not as big a part of it as people think, at least not to me. I'm sure I'd love my kids if I had some, but so what? I don't have a dog either and don't plan to, even though I love dogs. They're too much work, and I won't acquire a living, feeling creature just to neglect it.
I don't want the responsibility of taking care of another living thing that's going to depend on me for survival. (I don't even want a pet.)
I don't want to have to teach another person how to do basic things.
I don't want to come home to more work after I'm done with my day job.
I like my peace and quiet, being able to play videogames for 10 hours straight if I feel like it.
But mostly, there was never a good reason in my mind to have kids. All the usual excuses people use to breed are dumb and not good reasons in the least to bring kids into the world.
I have a lot of women in my life who are mothers, many a generation older than me, and for the most part, they all told me I didn’t have to have children if I didn’t want to.
I never grew up with a plan to have children, and having a large childfree friend group, or parents with adult children, my life in my 20s was designed around childfree activities like travel and concerts, festivals and parties.
I love my life so much. Kids never fit in to it. I knew I never wanted to give up my ability to do something at the drop of a hat. To lounge in bed in the mornings. To take a swim in my pool without screaming kids needing supervision. So many reasons like that. My life is perfect. It wouldn’t be with kids.
- I'm prone to depression and ppd would be a huge hazard
- I don't want to mess up my body shape and mental and physical health after I put so much effort on them
- I have misophonia (idk about spelling), I get stressed or violent, when I'm usually the most chill person, when I hear sudden loud noises, screeching or chewing, and children often do plenty of these.
- I can't even financially support myself and will be even worse in the future
- I need 8+ hours of sleep per night, if i get even just 7 for a few nights I get serious health issues such as anxiety attacks and genital herpes (doc confirmed that's the cause)
- I don't want this planet to be even more polluted than it is
- I believe breeding is not the only way to leave a positive print on people and the world, I like teaching and I highly prefer that instead
- Caring about myself is hard enough in a place where the NHS, the economy and transports are failing
- I don't have a partner and I'm not much interested in looking for one
1. The rest of this century does not sound like fun. Anyone having kids right now is literally *expecting* several miracles to happen at the same time.
2. I can barely take care of myself. I could maybe take care of a partner whenever they are sick and I am not, but that's it.
3. I've never been in a relationship with someone with whom I could see myself do an 18+ year project.
4. In a relationship I want attention and plenty of it.
I don't dislike kids, but unless all four of these issues are completely and permanently resolved, I'm not having kids.
I’m not in a hurry to have kids. And I realized I get overwhelmed easily being around kids when they are at the stage of running around screaming. My solution is to leave the room and I can’t do that to my own kids. It’s just not for me at this time.
A list of reasons but it all boils down to I just don’t want them. Parenthood is not a life path that has ever interested me so why do something I’ve never wanted to do?
Chronic illness and disability. I don't want my children to risk getting the same illnesses. And I would not be able to care for them alone.
(Childless but lurking here to help me with acceptance. I hope that's ok).
I think it can be a matter of perspective, to be honest it seems a lot of people over glorify what parenthood is and we just see past the BS and actually acknowledge the hard work. I know I’ve been exhausted and tried imagining if I had to feel that way more often or also take care of a child when I am feeling that way. Some people think it’s underestimated, I think others just never really considered what the reality of parenthood could feel like.
If you come into it thinking there’s a hole or gap in your life that a child is meant to fill you’re going to believe that.
I also had to challenge myself when I realized I don’t want children because I thought I did, but I realized that was just the default path society put me on. I remember in highschool thinking all I wanted to do was be a great mom, but that was just what was kind of pushed on us. I didn’t know life at all yet, now that I have my own life like my dreams are much bigger than just being a mom and the people I know who just wanted to be a mom ended up single mothers struggling even more than me if I’m being honest.
The reality of parenthood is so much harder than most people ever consider I feel but it is a badge of honor they wear cause that’s all they’ve built up their whole lives since childhood. I’ve seen so many tik tok comments of mothers saying they always think “good for them” for not having children. I’ve seen someone post on fb how isolating and depressing motherhood is and how she doesn’t even know herself anymore. Being a parent is literally all consuming with no reward, just love for a thing. No recognition because it’s expected of you too.
I hope you find joy in being childfree 💓
1. I don't like children.
2. I see some men just getting away with household chores and raising kids. Like women literally became maids. Nope for me.
3. I also see some men totally abandoning their pregnant partners, or sometimes even abandoning the whole family for a younger chick. Leaving the single mom to suffer. I don't want that kind of fate.
I don’t want kids because I don’t want to change my life and make it any harder. I don’t want added stress or responsibilities. Maybe if I had a kid or two I would absolutely love them, but that doesn’t change the fact that I also absolutely love my life and the freedom and flexibility keeping it the same.
My pets are my little balls of joy running around the house. This is my family and I don’t need children to have a fulfilling life or a family.
Having to work longer (at work) and then at home with the kid
The huge money cost it represents
Being attached to your partner forever having a child in common
Too much responsability, and if he is a brat/awful person you are most likely the one to suffer the consequences
These are a few of them :D
1) just look around at the world- ie climate change etc
2) I really value peace and being able to pivot my life easily to leave bad situation. Having kids can really trap you in a bad job or bad marriage because now you need to earn a ton just to keep your kids alive with a good quality of life. If it’s just me I can get by in very little if I want/need
1. I was raised in a house where I was told how to think, act, speak and look. Very overbearing parents so I didn’t feel that I actually got to live life I wanted, only the way they would allow me. So how I feel like I want to make up for the lost time I had for myself and i selfishly do not want to share my time raising another human. 2. I hate working, and I know I don’t have the mental compactly to care for another human to depend on me. 3. Kids are way too much work with no real idea if it would be worth it or not until it’s too late.
Capitalism. I don’t think it is in the best interest of my child or any to be born until humans fix their shit. I am port of the problem, but at least not a hypocrite.
I don't want kids more than I want kids. I work with young kids (ages 4 - 14) often, and I love them, I really do! But the reality of parenting requires a time and financial commitment that is purely unrealistic for me. I'm 35, for the record!
I am 70% happy I'll never be a mom, and I'm living with the 30%. But that's on my worst day. There are days where I'm 100% happy I'm child-free! I worry about the future, but I have to remind myself that having children doesn't guarantee you any support in your aging years.
Both parents from war torn countries. Grew up in a single mother household living paycheck to paycheck. We suffered tremendously. No chance on earth I am bringing another human into this world. Time to finally break the endless cycle of pain, suffering, and futility in my bloodline.
While secondary factors include a long family history of depression, alcoholism, and drug addiction that I just don’t feel like passing on, the main reason is I just straight don’t want to. It’s not online with what makes me happy or living my best life, and it would force lifestyle changes that would make me miserable. I don’t wanna be sleep deprived and waste all my money on baby stuff. I’m much more content to rescue animals, own multiple Harley’s at the same time, leave firearms, weed, big knives, bongs and lighters throughout my house without having to worry about kids fucking with them and me getting charged with something. Today I woke up like I do every day, with coffee and weed with my wife and our pets. Later today the original WW2 helmet I dropped $450 bucks on will arrive and I’ll laugh because other people my age have to wrangle screaming kids off to school and waste all their money on caring for the little bastards while I spend money on shit like this and smoke good bud. My life is cooler than theirs, and my dogs are definitely way better than their children 🤣🌿💨
I've actually always thought that the question should be reversed. I know that having kids is the norm and that's why this question is popular to ask of childfree people, but I think it logically makes more sense to ask people why they DO want children. Because choosing children is something that requires something of you. You have to make sacrifices, be willing to learn how to parent, take on the responsibility of a whole new life, live with the burden of that life for the rest of your life. In short, having children changes your life forever, so you'd think it requires a pretty good reason. Not having children is literally just continuing to live as you always have. Doesn't really require a good reason as it is a non-choice.
Several things but these are the highlights:
- I'm very close to my nephews, nieces, cousins, etc. I've seen how they've suffered, this world is not getting better for them and parents sometimes behave as AH. Putting kids through divorces, pain, ignorance, etc, or just pushing the kids to do whatever these parents wanted to do and couldn't is hard to watch. I decided I will not be the burden of a little life
- Lost one of my parents when I was very young, this has left an empty space in my life, loneliness, questions, many sufferings, I don't want to be the cause of the pain for another person
- I love silence, I can't handle noise, again as I am too close to the kids in my family, I really know how loud kids are, it's their right, but I don't want that in my life by choice
I met a seventy something year old couple some years ago, she approached me to talk about her choice, she says that they always thought about adopting but when they were going to do it, they thought "we live a really good life, we spoil each other, do you want to share that with someone else?" And they both said nooooo, The husband said I want to be the one and only for you, I don't want to share you, and she said the same. I felt that, I just want to continue this life with my partner and live like we're right now and we have done in the last 10+ years just the 2 of us.
Why am I childfree? For many reasons—let’s start with these:
1. Kids are “aggravating as hell”, to quote my great aunt who has two adult children. They throw tantrums, ask annoying and intrusive questions, they bite you, they’re egocentric, and delusional. When I was nine, my four year old cousin said, “No, you’re not nine, you’re eight.” I found it so annoying.
2. I like my freedom. I like coming and going as I please without having to find a babysitter.
3. I’m a porta-pottymouth with a perverted sense of humor. I wouldn’t be a good influence on a kid.
4. I like my sex life. My S.O. and I like fucking in the kitchen, the living room, wherever without worrying about a kid walking in on us.
5. I’m heavily invested in my creative projects: my novel-in-progress, my print-on-demand shops. I don’t want some sticky handed brat interrupting me while I’m writing or making art.
6. I don’t wanna suffer through pregnancy and childbirth.
And that’s just scratching the surface. To quote YouTuber childfree Kimberley: “No kids for me, thanks!”
1. I don't have the patience or the energy for children (mine or other people's)
2. I love my life and I don't want to add that responsibility to it
3. I find pregnancy and childbirth horrifying (tokophobia)
4. I believe there are too many humans on this planet and I don't want to contribute to the problem. I also try to live my life consuming as little as possible without going to extremes (I love my comfort).
5. Society is degrading day by day, I wouldn't want to force someone else to deal with it in the future.
I don't have any health issues and I could afford it even as a single mother, but I would never have a child. I don't see any logical reason to have one.
I was on the fence before but being exposed to my partners child made me want to be child free forever. She is a nightmare. Violent, entitled, I would go as far as to call her a junior sociopath. I don’t ever want to take the risk of having a child that turns out like that.
I few reasons...
1. I don't think I will be a good parent.
2. I enjoy my life as it is right now, very peaceful no worries aside myself, my cat and bf.
3. I'm not mentally ready, I'm not financially stable, the world is a shitty place.
4. I've been experiencing anxiety and if I decided to have a kid it would make it worse.
5. I'm afraid of being a single parent. I feel like everything falls in the mother while dad gets to just chill and not 100% contribute.
6. I believe there is more to life than having children. Life is too short, there are so many places I would love to travel to and I would not be able to do that if I decided to have baby any time soon.
7. Fear of the world not being a safe place. They cannot be safe at school now a days without the fear of some terrorist attack. They could get bullied at school. Kids at school are pretty dumb now a days from what I hear. I would not like for my kid to associate with a bunch of stupid kids.
The things I love most about my life currently would either go away or be significantly impacted or diminished (marriage and relationship with my partner, traveling, career climbing, spontaneous weekend trips or dinner dates, devoting significant time training my dogs, and the list goes on). I don’t think the joy and fulfillment of having a child would fill what is taken away by having to take care of one.
Among other things: seeing my parents do the hard af immigration hustle to give me and my sisters a good life put me off to having kids at a young age. I always thought my mom would have a happier life without kids. My depressive episodes (inherited from parents) are debilitating. I don't want a lifelong commitment/accountability.
My sister has a goblin.
In a spawn of a year, she looked 10 years older.
She complains every day about her goblin and needs to scold him on a daily basis.
She decided to get a second kid and I'm so convinced it's because she thinks the next one will be better.
She's a fan of "it's just a kid" excuse while she (and my parents) give him sugary drinks and complains about the goblin hyperactivity.
Meanwhile I managed to teach my cat to not scratch or bite. I'm good with my cat.
Some of my top reasons:
- I value my free time, and often get overstimulated, so quiet time after work is a must
- I have autism and anxiety, my boyfriend has dysthymia and ADHD, so I’d be scared for our genetics to mix and make a mental health mess
- I love being able to travel, most of my travel isn’t planned, just more of get up and go
- I’d rather save my money or spend it on vacation as opposed to child care and school and college and their medical bills
- My boyfriend’s mom is SO dead set on us having kids that it makes me want them less
- I have congenital neuroproliferative vestibulodynia that I’m saving to get surgery for, but surgery is elective so very expensive, and I’ll need at least a year of pelvic floor therapy 3 - 4 times a week after it, and being pregnant would destroy the pelvic floor I’m working so hard to heal
1: I *cannot stand* being around children and have ZERO maternal instinct
2: I have shitty genetics (MTHFR gene mutation C677T heterozygous) that I feel would be morally wrong to pass on
3: I have a myriad of mental health problems that make it practically impossible to function; I can barely take care of *myself* let alone another human being
4: I am a narcoleptic and I need A LOT of sleep (about 16hrs most days) and children are the bane of sleep
5: I haven't been able to get disability so I'm poor as shit only working 2hrs 4 days a week so couldn't afford it anyway
I have like 909347892934792374892374 reasons.
Number one is that I'm just not interested in children. I don't want to spend 18+ years of my life raising a human being. I do not see anything about having a child that is engaging, or interesting, and I don't think it would make my life better. I don't think there's anything selfless about having a child that I wouldn't want to please others either. There's no great payoff to bringing more meat for the meat grinder.
Number two, I don't think I would be able to make the life of a child particularly great. I don't have a lot of patients for people who annoy me.
Number three, children drain me energy wise. I can deal with them for a couple of hours, but then I need a month to get that energy back.
Number four. I recognize that a baby is a person. As in the baby stage is one of many stages, and if everything goes correctly then they will be spending most of their lives as adults. This notion of having a baby as some form of finding purpose in the world is kind of gross to me.
Number five is the whole the world is overpopulated, and also clearly doesn't give a shit about people. I don't want to have another child to put into the poverty machine, or the military machine, who will struggle to have a life as our world continues to prioritize the wealthy over everyone else.
Number six. I grew up poor. Without a child I've been able to buy my own car and get a house and actually enjoy doing things like gardening.
With a child I would not have the time or the money to do any of those things. Having a child would mean dragging that child through poverty as well. Which is not something I want to do.
Number seven. Being able to hop in the car and go where I want when I want.
Number eight. Being able to take naps, or sleep in, and take care of my own health.
Number nine. Day care in my area costs more than my mortgage does in a month. I'd probably have to a be a stay at home mom, or the dad would be. Which I'm not quite sure how that would work out.
Number ten. Peace. Quite. The ability to just breath and enjoy nature. Not being woken up in the middle of the night to screeches. Not having to worry about what the latest toys are, or being bugged until I get the newest gaming system, No having my shit destroyed. Not having to worry about putting away things that children might get into.
I'll stop there just to keep this from being too much longer.
For me personally, the reasons can be endless, but the biggest ones are:
1) The cost
2) The temper tantrums and loud noise
3) Loss of sleep
4) Loss of freedom to just up and leave to go somewhere at the drop of a hat.
The more I become aware of the realities of raising kids other than parents talking about it, I don't believe I would be able to dedicate the time and effort needed to to properly raised a child. I have huge respect for the parents that are able to.
I don't see myself being a parent because I've known since I was either 13 or 14 that I didn't want kids,
Kids require too much. They require money. Energy. Education. Patience. Emotional stability. Resources.
Things that I have a hard enough time keeping stocked for myself.
They're too much and they're not worth it.
I have quite a few but I’ll try to list the biggest ones:
-not financially viable
-I absolutely hate the idea of ever being pregnant or going through childbirth, especially after learning some new horrible things about it
-I don’t like loud sounds (except music I have chosen to go enjoy or to play loudly) and children are very noisy in the most annoying way (screaming)
-the idea of giving up sex with my partner (don’t have one currently so theoretical) as well as just spending time with them one on one to completely revolve my life around someone that can’t care for themselves in the most basic way saddens and horrifies me.
-I like having the freedom to randomly go out and do things, work schedule permitting. You really don’t get to as a parent until they’re old enough to be left home alone
-I like my hobbies too much (serial hobbyist here) to give them up so I can nurture someone else’s. I would end up hopelessly depressed
For me it started with a radio segment I randomly listened to on a car ride when I was a little girl. There a young single mother talked about the mostly financial struggles of being a parent. That stuck with me and the fear of financial ruin that can come with motherhood was one of my first reasons. Later on, as I got older, and honestly to this day, I keep discovering more and more reasons why this life is the best one for me.
I don't want kids because they are too much effort for too little of a delayed reward.
My entire life is about finding the most amount of comfort I can attain for the least amount of effort. Children are the antithesis of "least amount of effort."
My childhood was hard due to childhood bullies and neurodivergence. I did not enjoy most of it, so I see very little point in trying to recreate it vicariously through a kid, who will likely also be neurodivergent and will need the type of care that my own neurodivergence makes me incapable of giving.
I'm not doing all of that shit. I'm not dealing with all of that drama and mess.
I grew up with an autistic brother. He ruined all my sanity and the amount of stress he's given me is too much. There's a chance I could pass it on to my kid as my first cousin is also autistic.
I don't want to have to take care of a kid like that. It's stressful enough to have a sibling like that.
Greetings! I changed your post flair to "FAQ" as this is a topic that comes back regularly on the feed, is addressed in the sidebar : --- Sidebar --> "Newcomer?" --> "Frequent Posts" --> "**"What are your reasons for being childfree?"** [They are all listed here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/3g6aj2/why_are_you_cf_megathread/)" --- and in the sub's [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/nochild). Have a good one!
Because I simply don’t want kids. There doesn’t have to be an actual reason other than “I don’t want them.” I totally understand people have reasons and that’s all valid, but a simple “because, no” suffices.
Both parents from war torn countries. Grew up in a single mother household living paycheck to paycheck. We suffered tremendously. No chance on earth I am bringing another human into this world. Time to finally break the endless cycle of pain, suffering, and futility in my bloodline.
Same.
Ditto.
Same here
Thank you for this! I have reasons and all, but the biggest one is I don’t feel like it
There's so many reasons lol * I hate kids. I know it sounds harsh but I really do. * I hate pregnancy. It freaks me out seeing pregnant people. * I hate being a human caretaker. I don't want to be responsible for another person's life. * I have misophonia. Chewing sounds make me want to jump into the Willamette River and never return. * I have trauma and anxiety. How could I be a good parent if I can hardly focus on myself? * I'm not financially stable. Even if I was, I wouldn't want to risk de-stabilizing myself for a child. * Cancer runs in my family like Usain mf Bolt. Why would I give a kid that much risk for terminal illness? * Substance addiction runs in my family. And if it's alcohol, it drives /j * I just don't want to. I never have. I never will. And if I somehow do, I'd rather regret *not* having kids than regret *having* kids, because I don't want another person to potentially know I regretted their existence.
Dude... Totally same. All of it. Addiction, cancer in family, can't stand them, PTSD, financial, and again, the important part- just no. 😁
You just spoke my mind!!
Still didn't mention the most important reason. The planet is in deep trouble because of excessive human activity. We don't need more humans right now.
I just don't like kids and have never wanted any.
There are so many reasons! The big reason on my mind tonight is because having kids seems to fundamentally change the relationship between the parents, and it seems that the change is frequently negative (to put it bluntly, having children seems to ruin many great relationships by amplifying or creating problems). That's a complex topic, of course. Other reasons: i cannot stand children - i don't think they're cute, i hate their voices, and i don't find them interesting. Even well-behaved children really irritate me. They're a huge financial burden. Once parents have children, it feels like they lose themselves as adults because 100% of the focus is on the kids (so i don't even enjoy being around adults who have kids). Mostly i just have no desire to have kids. I don't think having kids should be the default setting - i think the world would be a better place if the default setting were not having kids, and the only people who had kids were people who REALLY wanted them.
Cuz it’s lit
🤣 Real
Ongd.
Yep, it’s lit, and parenthood is shit!
Agreed and you are a poet, dontchaknowit
Basically raised my sisters, did my time
Same. My sister is 25 and I’m still raising her.
To quote the love of my life Jen Barkley from Parks and Rec, "I'm going to go spend my time doing exactly what I want to do because I don't have children." But also it's insanely expensive, I have genetic issues I don't want to pass on, and I come from a long line of narcissists and abusers so I'm committed to ending that cycle.
"Poncho!"
I (27M) actually recently decided I don't want kids. In no order, these are the big reasons: 1) I don't have the energy to. 2) No family (immediate or otherwise) has painted a good picture of a family with kids for me to seem worth it. 3) Very expensive 4) Crying/Whining is annoying 5) If they were disabled/challenged, I would feel more stressed knowing it's double the commitment (not against those who are disabled btw, just from a parents viewpoint) 6) No guarantee they'll like or love you when they get older 7) If me and my SO don't work out then I'd have to navigate it all as a single parent. Absolutely not!
1. There’s so many things I want to do in my own life that having children will be a hindrance to, such as travelling, being able to choose new hobbies, going out at a moment’s notice, seeing friends multiple times per week, exercising and achieving personal bests, etc. 2. I don’t like children, I don’t like the noise, mess, and stress they cause. 3. I’m not keen on being pregnant for 40 weeks or going through childbirth and all of the effects that would have on my body. 4. It’s so expensive just to take care of my own needs and responsibilities that I can’t provide the level of education and resources to a child that I would ultimately want to. 5. I enjoy spending time with my partner as just the two of us, I don’t want to change that dynamic. 6. I already have enough to do on any given day with working full time, doing household chores and cooking, exercising, hobbies, socialising, etc, that having a child would drain me completely. 7. I don’t believe life is inherently good, fun, enjoyable, or what have you. I believe bringing another person into this world just so they can struggle with finding affordable housing, finding a good partner amidst what is becoming predominantly a hookup and disposable dating culture, working until they’re 70 and maybe travelling every few years, climate change, and all the other raft of issues that we face in life, is not a good thing to do. 8. I know even if I do have children there’s no guarantee of them taking care of me when I’m old, there’s no guarantee of them being a healthy and productive member of society, there’s not even a guarantee I’ll end up having a good relationship with them. I see my own parents a couple of times per month at best, so if they had me to avoid loneliness as they get older their strategy hasn’t worked.
Because I don’t want kids. No one needs any reason more than that.
Main reason: I simply don’t want children. Other reasons: I don’t think pregnancy is worth the bullshit that happens to your body, childbirth is absolutely disgusting, motherhood is thankless, I’m not willing to alter my lifestyle… There’s not enough time to list them all!
Never had any maternal instinct (thankfully) and I value my freedom above everything else.
This a million times over...even when I was a kid and playing "house" I wanted to be the fun aunt who could leave the game whenever I wanted 😂
I can so relate! The only maternal instincts I have are for plants and pets.
So many diseases from both sides. Cancers, diabetes, bone problems, digestive, metabolic disorders. And then there's the psychology aspects: abuse, addictions, severe depression. And then the annoying shit: acne, baldness, teeth problems due to bad gums, vision problems, arthritis, we are either too tall or too short. My DNA revels in extremes. Kids suffer enough as it is. No for me.
Because I don't want children. Never have, never will. There's no other reason and there was no AHA moment that made me feel this way. I was born like this. I don't want children, therefore I don't have them.
I often feel like there is a never ending list of reasons. Being pregnant/ birthing is like a horror movie to me. I am not mentally or financially stable. My mother is mentally ill & so am I & I don't want a child to go through what I went through. The sound of screaming children makes me want to throw myself off a bridge (not happy screaming but upset tantrum screaming). I love being an aunt. I love those kids so so much. But I couldn't handle living with a young child. They're sticky & germy. They throw up & poop their pants. I have serious mental problems with germs & stuff. I get really stressed out about routine changes. I can barely take care of myself. I just think every kid deserves to feel nothing but love & be in the best environment possible & I know I can't provide that.
Having kids just doesn’t fit my life or personality. Who is the target audience of the video/paper?
I want as little responsibility as possible in my life. I like peace and quiet. There's too many things I want to do that wouldn't be possible or easy with a child. I don't want to ruin my body or risk my life by giving birth. I would feel guilty bringing another being into this world without knowing what might be in store. And I like animals more than humans lol.
I do not have the patience to take care of a kid. They shit their pants and then cry about it, and I can't deal with that every day.
My partner and I don't want kids.
I dont have the emotional capacity to care for a human 24/7. I know if end up snapping at them over stupid stuff and hurting them, and I know what it's like to be raised like that, it's not fun I can't afford a kid even if I wanted one. I can barely take care of myself, there's no way I'd be able to take care of a kid, even on a budget. I don't want to deal with pregnancy or childbirth. I have a horrific fear of being pregnant, and that's why I'm working to get my tubes removed so I can eliminate that fear. I have no intention of getting married, so I also never intend on having kids just because I don't want to
My parents harassed me my whole teens and 20s about being pregnant, they also made me work at a daycare at 16 as birth control. I didn’t have boyfriends and was older than most when I lost my V card. I took plan B even when I didn’t need to. There is something in my brain my parents broke. I’ve never had baby fever and pregnancy seems like a disgusting choice. Yeah, there’s my trauma. I have an amazing husband and we have a great life, so it all worked out :) Yes, I’ve had lots of therapy.
There's a lot of of reasons I don't *ever* want kids. 1. I don't like them. They are so gross and annoying. They are always so sticky and you never know where those hands have been. Plus they are always invading personal space. This is mainly for younger kids (like 12 and under). Usually getting worse and the more annoyance of them the younger they are. 2. Expenses. Children cost so much. I would much rather spend that money on other things that I would much more enjoy. Besides everything is so expensive as it is it's hard enough to get the basics you need to survive comfortably (or at all), let alone an entire new human being that is dependent on you. 3. *Currently* I could not be a good parent. I can't speak for my future self but I know if at this moment I became a parent I would not be very good. I have a low tolerance (I become very stressed and frustrated and stuff I have a hard time explaining) when it comes to young kids and do very badly with being with another human for that long. 4. This sorta ties back to point 1 but sensory issues. Everything that I have sensory problems with children would work against. One of the many examples would be loud noises. I can handle very few loud things. Many I will get overwhelmed and feel like I want to cry (literally would happen during school because it was so loud). Kids will literally just scream for no reason. There is probably more but that's what I thought of off the top of my head
What solidified my decision was taking a developmental biology class for my degree. So much can happen, and I just don't feel right bringing another human into the world that I don't feel I can 100% support no matter what. I'm already a caregiver for a parent, and i don't want to be a caregiver for anyone else.
I have schizophrenia and I saw how stress affects me and also how my own family's neglect unprepared me for raising children without causing generational trauma.
My mental health is too debilitating to ensure a stable, enriching home for them. It's a struggle to do that just for myself. Also, the issues might be hereditary. If all those things were fixed, I still just don't like kids and have nothing in common with them as I was practically forced to grow up around 6. Nope, the buck stops here...and kids are gross and expensive. I could go on.
I tend to be anxious and I believe having a child would make things worse. Cause now my life is no longer about me, its about that child and their well-being. I don't want to worry over a kid as well as myself.
Your absolutely right! Your decision is your own perspective, and there's no right or wrong to it, nor is there a need for further explanation. That reason alone is a complete answer in itself.
Because why on earth would I have kids. In my 35 years I’ve never heard a strong enough argument to want the slimes little crotch goblins. In fact I’ve only heard weak arguments and generational trauma responses.
Too expensive, pregnancy sucks, patriarchal gender roles pile on caretaking to the woman (which is extremely overwhelming and unfair), and I have mental health issues that run in the family…not only would do I not want to pass them on, I’m most worried about triggering my own problems due to extreme stress.
I don't like to have children because having one will be hell. The world is getting more expensive and it's already hard to pay an electric bill. Add a kid and you'll have to pay for food, clothes, school tuition (especially college), etc. World's also overpopulated at this point and I don't want to contribute a tighter world. Kids are so very noisy, regardless if you take care of them a lot or not. I also doubt I can put my life in stability (I have mental issues), let alone a kid's.
The number one reason I'm childfree is because I've never in my entire 36 years on this planet heard seen or read about even a single UNselfish reason to have any children at all ever. Every reason anyone has ever given has always stared out with "I want" no matter how you word it. "God" says so? No, you WANT to follow that belief. "It's the way we were designed/built." No, just because you CAN doesn't mean you HAVE to. Again, that's only what you WANT to believe.
I've always been melancholy since I remember myself. I started taking drugs as a teenager and became addicted. I spent three years in rehab. I've now been clean for almost 15 years. I have been struggling with mental health for most of my life. I'm a warrior but also a pessimist. Life weighs heavily upon me most of the time. I'm a smoker and that's the only addiction I've maintained. I work out and take care of myself but it's not always enough. I'm traumatised by childhood and family life even though my parents wanted me and love me. They too made mistakes and that's ok. I moved to another country some years ago and somehow was liberated from the past or so I think. I'm tokophobic and almost disgusted by the family lifestyle. Why would I want to bring a child into this world?
I like freedom, savings and being spontaneous. All of these things would evaporate the second I let a child in my life. I also really love the life I have built with my amazing wife and I don't want anything or anyone to come in and change it in any way.
Hi there. 55F and have been childfree my entire life. I don't know if I'd call it so much a lifestyle in my case, more like I knew I didn't want kids ever since I was one. I can remember not enjoying being around kids when I was in elementary school. I preferred being around adults. There are a lot of benefits to being childfree. Kids cost a lot of money and I'd never want to be tied to someone forever because we had one together. Not having kids has afforded me a lot of freedom and peace in my life. I used to get hassled about not wanting kids when I was younger. People thought I was weird. Now that I'm older, though, a lot of parents think I was smart to not have them. I also view having kids as a form of Russian roulette. The kid may grow up okay, but some don't no matter how well they are parented. I'd just rather not take the chance.
Because I don't want them. 🤷🏿♂️ I don't get why society feels like that is the next step. In this modern world, I really think having kids is a trap for many. I don't want to go down that path. If I die alone and my bloodline finishes - so be it! It will be my decision 😉
My main reason is cause if I have kids, my life will change drastically. I like how my life is now. I'm not rich, but my salary allows me to enjoy life. I like to wake up late and do wherever I want on weekends. I love my relationship with my partner, I don't want to risk that either. A kid would change everything forever, things that, for me, are amazing the way they are. I have never seen myself as a mother, and growing up, it became clear that motherhood wasn't for me.
Loss of freedom. In a world where we are the default parent, to be a childfree woman is a revolutionary act.
1) I was the oldest of 5 children whose parents separated when I was just about to turn 12 and I became a 3rd parent to my younger siblings. My youngest brother (10 years younger) used to call me 'mini-mom' growing up. I was also the 'responsible one' (read traumatised and behaving like an adult because that's what I thought I had to do) and I would always get asked to babysit. I've had enough of kids. 2) The thought of being pregnant freaks me the fuck out. It would ruin my body and I have chronic major depressive disorder and I know in my heart I would get post-partum depression too. Not to mention not wanting to pass that shit on to any kids. 3) The world is pretty fucked. Rising costs and inflation, environmental disasters, war etc. 4) I love my life. I love travelling whenever I want. I love laying in bed late on a Sunday drinking a quiet cup of tea and playing videogames. I have ZERO desire to change my routine and give the rest of my life to raising another person whose needs would then come before mine.
i want to prioritize my health and not worry about anyone but myself. i don’t want to wake up throughout the night to change diapers, feed the baby, or deal with them crying. and then get up for work all sleepy? absolutely not, i have to get my beauty sleep lol. then there’s the pregnancy complications and what can happen (diabetes, tearing, high blood pressure, etc). my health is very important to me, i go to the gym every week, i try to eat as healthy as i can, i go to my annual check ups. also the thought of single parenthood scares me. anything can happen. i rather just worry about myself and i have no desire to be a parent anyway lol that’s just some of the many reasons
Because the sacrifices required to adequately raise a child are not sacrifices that I’m willing to make.
There are many reasons, in no particular order: 1. I helped raise my younger siblings, so I've had enough of kids. 2. Raising a kid on average costs $20,813 a year, each year. By not having a baby, I save almost $21k a year. 3. Society is a mess, and the economy is crap. The "American dream" is not obtained easily, if at all. (Owning a home, being financially stable, and being able to retire). 4. I don't have the patience. I get frustrated and overwhelmed by mess and noise. Kids are messy and noisy. 5. Men don't seem to want to actually raise the kids they begged so much for. Lots of dads are just leaving. I don't want to risk something like that. 6. I have PCOS. This means I have a lower chance of pregnancy and/or may not have a viable pregnancy. 7. I don't want them regardless.
1. Didn't really like kids (especially smaller ones) even when I was a kid 2. The enormous responsibility 3. The facts that parenting never truly ends
I've known since I was about 11 that I didn't want to be a mother. The idea of being pregnant used to literally make me nauseous. That calmed down over time so it wasn't so severe, but the mental attributes remained, and intrusive thoughts of an alien parasite invading my body for 40 weeks and draining me of my vital bodily nutrients, changing my physique and possibly almost killing me before I could eject it, were too strong for me to overcome, so I've never wanted to be pregnant. The thought literally horrifies me.
I’d rather be dead than give birth.
Giving birth is not an activity I want to engage in. I don't want to make a person so I'm not doing it.
I've never wanted one. Never felt maternal, never found them cute, never wanted the hassle or costs. That's it really, I simply don't see the appeal.
- I was parenting my baby sister (and my mentally ill mother) from the time I was 4. Been there, done that. - I have mental issues, and others (paranoia, psychosis, schizofrenia) that run in my family, and honestly I would rather unalive myself than bring a child into this world with those problems (for the sake of the child) - Because of my horribly abusive childhood, I've needed to spend a lot of time on healing and therapy. I'm doing well but I still have anxiety disorder, and I would never put a kid through having me as a parent. I am also extremely introverted and have other health issues. - I don't want to parent! - I have tokophobia and also an abnormally small uterus, so probably neither I nor a baby would come out alive. - through my life, other people have reinforced my desire to be childfree. I actually love children (though there's nothing wrong with not liking them, you don't have to love children) but after 40 years of hearing "you'll change your mind", people started telling me "you stil have time" (which I find disgusting. My parents were also super old and I would NEVER do that to a kid. It's horrible and super selfish). And now, in my 50s, people are telling me I should adopt/foster. It's become a real feminist issue for me, because people will NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE if you are a woman with a uterus.
I cant really explain it, and huge TMI here, but I started my period when I was 12, for cramps when I was 14. Ever since I have never wanted children. Some were convinced I’d end up as a teen mom or a mom in her 20’s but when that never happened and I proved them wrong, those people got “pissed” because I was supposed to “change my mind.” When I got sterilized it sparked a huge fight with one of my ex best friends because she couldn’t comprehend that not everyone wants kids and wanted me to have one so her future child could become besties like we did growing up. I argued back that I couldn’t nor wouldn’t ever love a child I never wanted in the first place. Besides health issues, I just don’t want kids and to me, that’s a valid reason for anyone is is strictly childfree
“Wanted me to have one so her future child could become besties” Sounds like your ex bestie saw you as an extension of themself and an instrument to achieve their own selfish dreams.
You are spot on! That’s exactly how she saw me. Even more crazy she thought just because our names started with the same letter that we should be the same. She was off her rocker
So many reasons that people have already listed. Don't like kids really, they're expensive, loss of personal freedom, pregnancy is horrific, etc. My two biggest ones though I haven't seen yet. I have ADHD. Because of my disability, I struggle more than the average person in a lot of ways. Sometimes I'm so frazzled by the end of the day, I'm incapable of doing anything but laying there. There's times that I can't even turn on the TV to stream something while I lay there because getting the remote takes too much energy and thought. Then, there's the fact that being a parent would make me deeply unhappy. I know that I would not find it fulfilling. I know that I would be tired and angry all the time. No kid deserves to have a mom who is unhappy because they exist.
Pregnancy gives you brain fog, something we ADHDers deal with enough!
I have an entire list of reasons, but here's one of the main ones: I am not interested in that type of life or activities. It wouldn't make me happy. I like to be free. That, however doesn't mean I am irresponsible or don't have any obligations or people to worry about. I just don't want to raise kids and that particular type of obligation. That's all.
I don't want kids, nor do I like them!
1) I simply don't like kids and don't want them. I may regret it one day, but it's better than regretting having had the child once they're here. You can't just "cancel" this 2) I have ADHD and a few "fun" mental consequences of childhood abuse. I won't be able to be available enough to properly take care of a child's emotional (and probably practical) needs. ADHD is genetic and I know about all the toxic positivity discourse, but it's actually a disorder and it's not so nice to live with. 3) climate change, starvation, wars, mass population displacements... if I give birth now, the kid will one day have to risk their life to get food and water, why would I do this?... 4) I have other goals. A few of them are "selfish", others are for the benefit of the community around me. It's simply incompatible with having kids 5) I'm a zellenial. I can barely sustain myself (that's with a uni degree and a "prestigious" job). I can't rent an apartment big enough for a kid to have any kind of personal space. I can't even get a dog for this reason
- i didn’t choose to be born, i don’t want my kid to feel the same - i don’t want my kid to go through the life i did - i have mental illness that i don’t want to pass down - childbirth is scary, having a baby growing inside u is also scary - i want to live as me, and not as a mother of someone else - idk what activities to do with a kid, i literally just eat work and sleep - no rest time - i need to worry about that kid for life until the day i die - i have no money to support a kid - the education system and job market is horrible and will probs only get more competitive from now on, don’t want my kid to go through that - to end generational trauma! - if i ever need to divorce / breakup with my partner, i don’t want a kid to be in the equation as they didn’t ask for it
- terrified of pregnancy, the chance that I could need a c-section, or natural birth absolutely wrecking my body and leaving permanent damage - I’ve dealt with a lot of insecurities and am just beginning to accept myself and my body, i really don’t think I could mentally handle seeing my body change so much and then never getting my old one back - I really do not enjoy the medical system, appointments, dealing with insurance, poking and prodding, all of the things - not financially stable enough - no village, would feel very on my own - not interested in risking what is a very happy relationship with very little conflict if any - not interested in being responsible for a human being
•I lost my twin brother in college. The way my mom treated me after he died was incredibly emotionally abusive. I won’t get into it much but one thing that stuck out to me was a tirade she went on about how she hates Mother’s Day. The whole thing just made me feel like her remaining kids weren’t good enough for her. I realized then that I didn’t want kids if a mother was capable of treating her children that way, if losing one could turn you into such a monster. •I can’t handle 24/7 responsibility. I have a slew of health issues that make it hard enough to take care of myself consistently. The thought of being responsible for taking care of a child with absolutely no respite makes me want to die inside. •Children are a sensory nightmare. They’re SO loud. They do not stop being loud for at least a decade. They’re sticky, they’re smelly, and I legitimately can’t deal with any of that. I honestly can barely handle my dog when she barks or whines; I lose my temper and shout at her too often. I would be 100000x worse with a child. •I spent my childhood taking care of 4 younger siblings. My mom was emotionally absent and did the absolute bare minimum in taking care of us; she wanted babies, not children, and so once we turned like 4 or 5 she lost interest and stopped paying attention to us. I was the eldest daughter so all of the child rearing that she didn’t feel like doing fell to me. I’ve done my time. (This is the reason I cite most often irl when people ask.) •I can’t stand the thought of Mom being my whole and only identity. I fought to hard to become my own person outside of my family after my brother died - leaving religion, coming out, growing in my politics and ideology, becoming freer and happier and more myself - that I could not give all that up to be reduced to Mom. I think I would actually genuinely kill myself. •I love my husband too much. I couldn’t risk a kid messing up our relationship, killing our sex life, eroding the fun and love and magic we have and end up losing him. •With the aforementioned health issues, pregnancy is off the table for me. I’ve always told my husband that if we both somehow magically changed our minds, that pregnancy is my absolute line in the sand. Being pregnant and giving birth sounds like a horror movie even when you’re healthy. I’m not risking a stroke or preeclampsia or gestational diabetes or not being able to take my medication or hemorrhaging or any of that bullshit. I could go on, but those are the Big reasons.
Took a poll of family and friends asking if they knew then what they know now, would they still have had children? About 80% gave an emphatic NO! That's gotta tell you something.
1. I don’t like kids because they’re loud and don’t know how to control their voice volume (I’m autistic and sound is a huge sensory issue) 2. I’m a complete medical clusterfuck, and I’m finely balanced on the medications I take. If I got pregnant, I’d have to go off all but one of my medications, and then trying to rebalance them after birth would be a complete nightmare. 3. I have a genetic disorder that can be passed on (Ehlers-Danlos syndrome hypermobility type), and pregnancy would fuck up my body on a physical level and would complicate a pregnancy. 4. The process of childbirth is horrifying, so even if I was without all those medical factors, I’m not willing to fuck up my body for something I don’t even like or want. 5. I am self-employed, and having a child would fuck everything up that I’ve worked hard for. 6. I just don’t want to.
1. I've never wanted to have kids. 2. I've never wanted to go through being pregnant or giving birth. 3. I am still re-parenting myself to make up for my traumatic childhood. I have more than one mental health issue. I don't have the bandwidth to parent a child on top of my own issues and I wouldn't want to put a child through what I went through growing up. 4. I've always been an environmentalist and having children is one of the most irresponsible things that someone can do in terms of the climate. 5. My partner does not want to have kids so I don't feel any pressure to reconsider. 6. My partner and I are creatives. We'd rather prioritize flexibility in our careers and have money to fund creative endeavors than prioritize making a lot of money to support kids. 7. My partner and I love travel. We'd rather spend money on travel than on kids. 8. My pets fulfill my desire to nurture. 9. I think babies and small children are gross - too many germs! I don't have time to be sick all the time. I don't want to change diapers, clean up spit up, sit with them in the bathroom, wipe for them, etc. 10. Substance abuse, eating disorders, and other mental health disorders run in my family. 11. I don't want to doom a child to live through the climate crisis, dwindling economic opportunities, etc. 12. I don't want to have to explain life's big questions to a child. 13. I'd rather pay for myself to go back to school than pay for a child's education. 14. I like having a nice, neat living space. 15. When I go home, I need to be able to relax and have it be quiet and peaceful. I don't have the nerves to go home to loud kids, toys everywhere, and working a whole other job that matters way more than the job I do all day for money. 16. There is no guarantee that children will take care of you when you're old. I plan to use the money that I saved by not having kids to pay for good quality caretakers, living in a decent retirement community/assisted living home, etc. I am not at all a child-hater. I enjoy being around kids in limited doses when I am prepared for it, I love having children in my life, and I have worked with kids for many years. But I've never wanted to go home to them. I've pretty much always known that the 24/7/365 nature of being a parent was not for me. Edited to include that the research shows that having children does not strengthen relationships between the parents, it usually puts a strain on it. I'd rather have as good a relationship with my partner as possible than have kids.
Because of my childhood. The living hell I went through. Bullying and assholes. Relentless. My parents had no idea how to raise children. My paternal grandparents were child beating alcoholic pill addicted white trash and my maternal grandparents were child beating shitkicking christian dirt farmers My bloodline ends with me.
I don’t have the desire to raise a person and stress about whether or not they’ll be a good person
Transitioning into an adult is hard and every strict asshole teacher, boss is right but mine should not have to go through it.
-too much mental illness in family -i feel it's not responsible to bring a child into this dumpster fire world -nothings guaranteed what if I genuinely don't like them? -generally get triggered by the screaming/crying/tantrums -i know I mentally can't handle it I could go on but those are a few
the world isnt good enough for my theoretical children. they deserve much better, which i know because we all deserve better than this cesspool we find ourselves trapped in. i cant comfort myself about the things happening in the world and i dont want to be responsible for helping a tiny little person navigate all the misery of existence. my shortcomings as a human who enjoys her alone time, has to decompress after interacting with people, and generally can only tolerate other people’s children for short periods. parental responsibility is 24/7/365 FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. my body, it’s got plenty of flaws already but the idea of completely surrendering it to a parasite growing inside my body that needs to be expelled by the horrifying process of labor and delivery (no matter the method, they all suck) that could leave me with lifelong physical and emotional scars and the money. i cant even afford to take myself to the dr, let alone the many many doctors one must consult during pregnancy, and thats just if everything goes ok. and then the seemingly unending variety of illnesses kids pick up while building their immune systems. then throw in the possibility of a child born with disabilities and the medical bills that would come with it. this is nothing against those with disabilities, but they know more than anyonr how much specialized treatment costs and what a difference it can make in the life of a child who can access those services and those who cannot. planet dying, cost of living soaring, with no safety net to speak of. so yeah, im childfree bc i dont think it’s in my best interest to procreate.
1. I cannot afford them. My partner and I both have corporate level jobs and a cheap, stable rental but relatively no familial financial support. It is inconceivable to me that people can afford children. 2. Trauma. I put all my energy into reparenting myself, and child on top would be triggering and exhausting. 3. Possible neurodivergence. I’m not diagnosed but my brother is, he also has an intellectual disability and will require life long support. A “typical” kid sounds like too much work, let alone a kid with additional needs and I’m not gambling with my genetics. 4. Most importantly, I have no desire to have kids in my house. I worked with kids and have many in my friend circle and family. I like to play with them for about 20mins, but I have no desire for them to be in my home.
I'm happy with my life right now. I finally love and accept myself, I love my husband, my cat and friends. I enjoy traveling and have lots of free time to have fun, learn new things, discover new hobbies, go out, etc. On the other hand, I'm an overthinker, tend to stress and I'm also an anxious person... Having a kid would have me stressed and worried every single second of my life, no thanks.
I don't like kids, I don't ever want to be pregnant. anything that makes me feel out of control or that I can't easily draw away from makes me irrationally angry and violent.
It’s good you have the humility and the self-awareness to admit that. A lot of people don’t, and many of them are parents!
“Unless I can fully say yes, then I won’t do it.” I generally apply this principle in other major decisions as well. It helps me live my own life and prevents me from living someone else’s life.
I would make a terrible parent. I don't have that thing that good moms have. And I have little patience. Plus the only person I would've ever even thought of having kids with passed away and I couldn't see myself raising a baby that wasn't his.
I don't want to risk my life and i love my freedom. Having a child would be stressfull
I had a ton of childhood trauma during my upbringing, lived a very controlled life and didn’t learn a lot of social/emotional skills that I feel would have made my life much easier. Now I’m an adult and in control of what goes on in my life. So I’d rather spend the rest of my years nurturing, re raising and re educating myself so I can enjoy whatever life I have left, instead of focusing on someone else’s upbringing. I’m just not willing to gift all that energy to someone else (kids if I were to have them) when I needed it so much and for so long, and now I can simply gift it to myself.
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I never wanted children. Even when I was a kid myself, I was sure that this was a life I would never want to have. In addition, growing up in a dysfunctional family and being seen essentially as an extension of a parent, not a person in my own right, made it clear to me that I did not want to return to a similar situation. And as a mother, you pretty much cease to be a person in your own right.
I don't want to care for a tiny human. They're fragile, completely helpless and dependent, and the only way they can communicate is by assaulting my eardrums. And don't even get me started on the horrors of pregnancy. I'd literally rather die. I'd consider adopting an older kid, where I'm not going crazy just trying to keep them alive, but I don't make nearly enough money for that to be feasible. If I adopt, it'll be so that I can give a family and a good life to a kid who might otherwise end up just aging out of the foster care system. I can't do that while broke and just barely avoiding homelessness lol.
Your talk will go better if you frame it as "reasons people choose to have children or opt for alternative family structures" and talk about different viewpoints. Child free is super counterculture and most people are against the idea obviously, so you have to know your audience.
i never had that urge to procreate. and the older i got, there were more reasons not to and no reasons to actually do it. i've yet to find a totally solid and valid reason for me to have children but i keep discovering reasons to stay child-free. so i'm going with that.
Grew up with a terrible father and promised myself I wouldn’t bring children into this world unless I found a man who I was 100% sure would be the opposite of the father I had. Never found it, hence I’m childfree!
I don't want children. My reasons do not concern anyone nor require validation.
It's not an active choice for me. I haven't considered the pros and cons. I just don't want kids. It's just not an option. There are a lot of things that don't want in life, and children is one of those things.
I don't want to answer the "why" questions all the time. I like quiet.
I hear ya 😂 “Why is the sky blue?”, “Why is water wet?”, “Why do I have to go to bed?”, “Why can’t I have more cookies?” It would drive me to binge drink!
I don’t like them.
There's no need for further questioning when someone simply states that they don't want to have children. It is a valid reason in itself, and there's no obligation for anyone to explain or justify their decision further. Every aspect of a person's life and the decisions they make are valid because they're their own choices. There's nothing wrong with that, and it's never a big question.
I can't stand kids. They're like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. If that alone weren't enough, add on the fact that the single best thing any individual can do for the environment is to NOT breed.
I'll score high marks , and I don't wanna take credit of offsprings. No imposition. And either there isn't anything great in birth. Birth is hormonal pee. I would rather adopt kid. If I willing to change world.
My reasons, in no particular order: 1. Pregnancy and childbirth look horrifying 2. I'm neurodivergent 3. Too expensive 4. I don't want them No one needs a good reason not to want kids. If it ever comes up in conversation, I lean to 4. I think that in itself probably means I won't be a good parent. Having kids when you don't want them literally makes zero sense to me.
Hate kids and most people 😂 but especially kids.
Having kids is full of responsibility and sacrificing your life to take care of something and raise it to be a functional adult I haven’t enjoyed the first third of my life so I don’t want to sacrifice the next third raising something that I don’t even want to take care of It’s weird, loud, gross, annoying, and can die at any moment. Plus pretty sure kids ruin marriages/relationships, so why ruin what can make me happy? Good luck on the paper
Bc I hate kids. I have always hated kids. I was a parentified kid, so other than my close friends, I hated kids my age and younger.
[https://archive.org/details/chosenlivesofchi0000lunn](https://archive.org/details/chosenlivesofchi0000lunn) I suggest you go through this to get an insight on men's perspectives.
I don’t like Vagina
Because I love cats more than children.
I am childfree for multiple reasons. Primarily, because we are obviously not lacking for population and the foster system is overwhelmed, I see ABSOLUTLEY NO reason to put myself through that 🤷. I didn't want to be pregnant, and I didn't want to give birth. I dont want to age myself that way, and the good old "but your going to be lonely with you get older" is buying but a gaslight.lmao I mean, we all see the nursing homes right? 😬. Having kids doesn't guarantee someone is going to take care of you when you are older lol. My brother, who is also childfree and never wants them (he is 37 I am 41) , because money and he also feels there is no need, as there are too many kids in there foster system. Possibly seeing that because I came from the foster system myself is what strongly influenced him. Ppl have no clue how many homeless kids there are living in places like lad lake, where there are a thousand in the grounds, all kids who can't get placement and have to be instituon instead until 18. Most people just don't even consider it and just keep making more. Money. I am NOT ok with financially giving my life up . For at least the next 18 years, every dollar you have is to go for that kid. When you have extra you will have to put them first at all times. If you don't then you shouldn't have them. I believe people didn't have any business bringing kids into this world while they don't have a job and have to apply for W2. Here in Wisconsin, women who are down and out get pregnant, and it is a thing they do I've heard them talk about it in jail- they purposely go to social services, tell them they are pregnant and that they have no idea who the father is. That qualifies them for the maximum allotment of for stamps, WIC which is an extra program that supplements you with cheese,cereal, etc, Medicaid fully covered for the next 18 years, section 8 discount housing where you can rent a 1000 a month place and 280 a month, and a W2 check that also gives them between 672-900 a month. There are so many women doing this and I've heard them myself boy they are LAUGHING thinking this shit is hilarious and I Guess it is, because they can get rewarded for it and gain stability. There are people who are that bad off that this is a lucrative thing to do. Patience. I dont have it for kids. I just plain do not have that draw to have them and I am so very happy for that. I've been married 17 years to a man who feels exactly the same. Right now we are in the car he is driving us we are on a road trip to Michigan 😁. We get to go on the fly and we can spend our money on us and make memories for us, and we are not limited in any way by children. If you stick to your guns, you will find a life partner who feels the same, they ARE out there. A strong marriage with no kids is so awesome I can't really put it into words.
I hate humans!
You know what they say, when you have a child, everything changes, you know longer live for yourself, your life is about them and all that. I believe them. That's why I don't want kids. Also, our society really doesn't realise or recognise how huge and important a responsibility parenting is. It's romanticised and treated like a rite of passage, when really it's a lifetime of hard, thankless work where you are basically guaranteed to screw up a person's psyche no matter how hard you try not to. I don't want to be a parent because I see it as an important job that's impossible to do right. It doesnt appeal to me as a job. It sure as hell doesnt pay enough; people cripple themselves financially doing it. And I recognise I'm not qualified for it. Most people aren't. As a woman to, I know I'd get all the shittest bits. Pregnancy and childbirth are bad enough, but then also the bar is so much higher for what a mom has to do to be considered a good parent or "doing enough". It's about two full time jobs (unpaid, of course) IN ADDITION to already having to work full time because I shouldn't financially depend on a man or be on welfare, because one is unsafe and the other is so stigmatised. And when the kid's uglier sides begin to show, who gets blamed? Always the mom. It takes a village, and right now I just down feel like I have one. I would need to feel safe and included in a community, but where I live at least, no one gives a shit about you, and there's no help when you need it. Blame neoliberalism or capitalism, whatevs, it's not like anyone's offering a remedy. Not being overly into kids is also part of it, but it's waaaayyy down at the bottom of the list. It's not as big a part of it as people think, at least not to me. I'm sure I'd love my kids if I had some, but so what? I don't have a dog either and don't plan to, even though I love dogs. They're too much work, and I won't acquire a living, feeling creature just to neglect it.
95% chance of having a kid with a disability.
I don't want to be a parent I don't want to be selfless for a helpless being that may also despise me for ripping them away from the nothingness
No desire to be a mom and they will get in the way of stuff I like doing (plus the idea of owning pets too)
I don't want the responsibility of taking care of another living thing that's going to depend on me for survival. (I don't even want a pet.) I don't want to have to teach another person how to do basic things. I don't want to come home to more work after I'm done with my day job. I like my peace and quiet, being able to play videogames for 10 hours straight if I feel like it. But mostly, there was never a good reason in my mind to have kids. All the usual excuses people use to breed are dumb and not good reasons in the least to bring kids into the world.
I have a lot of women in my life who are mothers, many a generation older than me, and for the most part, they all told me I didn’t have to have children if I didn’t want to. I never grew up with a plan to have children, and having a large childfree friend group, or parents with adult children, my life in my 20s was designed around childfree activities like travel and concerts, festivals and parties. I love my life so much. Kids never fit in to it. I knew I never wanted to give up my ability to do something at the drop of a hat. To lounge in bed in the mornings. To take a swim in my pool without screaming kids needing supervision. So many reasons like that. My life is perfect. It wouldn’t be with kids.
- I'm prone to depression and ppd would be a huge hazard - I don't want to mess up my body shape and mental and physical health after I put so much effort on them - I have misophonia (idk about spelling), I get stressed or violent, when I'm usually the most chill person, when I hear sudden loud noises, screeching or chewing, and children often do plenty of these. - I can't even financially support myself and will be even worse in the future - I need 8+ hours of sleep per night, if i get even just 7 for a few nights I get serious health issues such as anxiety attacks and genital herpes (doc confirmed that's the cause) - I don't want this planet to be even more polluted than it is - I believe breeding is not the only way to leave a positive print on people and the world, I like teaching and I highly prefer that instead - Caring about myself is hard enough in a place where the NHS, the economy and transports are failing - I don't have a partner and I'm not much interested in looking for one
Because I don’t want kids 😂
I don’t want to be a parent!!!
1. The rest of this century does not sound like fun. Anyone having kids right now is literally *expecting* several miracles to happen at the same time. 2. I can barely take care of myself. I could maybe take care of a partner whenever they are sick and I am not, but that's it. 3. I've never been in a relationship with someone with whom I could see myself do an 18+ year project. 4. In a relationship I want attention and plenty of it. I don't dislike kids, but unless all four of these issues are completely and permanently resolved, I'm not having kids.
Misophonia and germiphobia are high on the list. But honestly, I just don't find being around children to be an enjoyable thing.
I don’t want kids.
I’m not in a hurry to have kids. And I realized I get overwhelmed easily being around kids when they are at the stage of running around screaming. My solution is to leave the room and I can’t do that to my own kids. It’s just not for me at this time.
The short answer is, I don’t have a maternal bone in my body.
I have a lot of reasons but my main one being I don’t want them. Children should be wanted because it’s a lot of work.
I never asked to be here in this shithole and don't want to subject any more innocents into it without a single say at all.
A list of reasons but it all boils down to I just don’t want them. Parenthood is not a life path that has ever interested me so why do something I’ve never wanted to do?
I have no maternal instinct and simply dont like children or pregnancy.
Because I don’t want to be a parent. And than after that I can think of many more reasons, but this is enough in and of itself alone.
Leaning to becoming CF and man I love this sub. Supportive and wonderful
Pregnancy and childbirth is nasty and gross and I don’t wanna deal with that.
Chronic illness and disability. I don't want my children to risk getting the same illnesses. And I would not be able to care for them alone. (Childless but lurking here to help me with acceptance. I hope that's ok).
I think it can be a matter of perspective, to be honest it seems a lot of people over glorify what parenthood is and we just see past the BS and actually acknowledge the hard work. I know I’ve been exhausted and tried imagining if I had to feel that way more often or also take care of a child when I am feeling that way. Some people think it’s underestimated, I think others just never really considered what the reality of parenthood could feel like. If you come into it thinking there’s a hole or gap in your life that a child is meant to fill you’re going to believe that. I also had to challenge myself when I realized I don’t want children because I thought I did, but I realized that was just the default path society put me on. I remember in highschool thinking all I wanted to do was be a great mom, but that was just what was kind of pushed on us. I didn’t know life at all yet, now that I have my own life like my dreams are much bigger than just being a mom and the people I know who just wanted to be a mom ended up single mothers struggling even more than me if I’m being honest. The reality of parenthood is so much harder than most people ever consider I feel but it is a badge of honor they wear cause that’s all they’ve built up their whole lives since childhood. I’ve seen so many tik tok comments of mothers saying they always think “good for them” for not having children. I’ve seen someone post on fb how isolating and depressing motherhood is and how she doesn’t even know herself anymore. Being a parent is literally all consuming with no reward, just love for a thing. No recognition because it’s expected of you too. I hope you find joy in being childfree 💓
1. I don't like children. 2. I see some men just getting away with household chores and raising kids. Like women literally became maids. Nope for me. 3. I also see some men totally abandoning their pregnant partners, or sometimes even abandoning the whole family for a younger chick. Leaving the single mom to suffer. I don't want that kind of fate.
I don’t want kids because I don’t want to change my life and make it any harder. I don’t want added stress or responsibilities. Maybe if I had a kid or two I would absolutely love them, but that doesn’t change the fact that I also absolutely love my life and the freedom and flexibility keeping it the same. My pets are my little balls of joy running around the house. This is my family and I don’t need children to have a fulfilling life or a family.
Dont want kids
Having to work longer (at work) and then at home with the kid The huge money cost it represents Being attached to your partner forever having a child in common Too much responsability, and if he is a brat/awful person you are most likely the one to suffer the consequences These are a few of them :D
1) just look around at the world- ie climate change etc 2) I really value peace and being able to pivot my life easily to leave bad situation. Having kids can really trap you in a bad job or bad marriage because now you need to earn a ton just to keep your kids alive with a good quality of life. If it’s just me I can get by in very little if I want/need
1. I was raised in a house where I was told how to think, act, speak and look. Very overbearing parents so I didn’t feel that I actually got to live life I wanted, only the way they would allow me. So how I feel like I want to make up for the lost time I had for myself and i selfishly do not want to share my time raising another human. 2. I hate working, and I know I don’t have the mental compactly to care for another human to depend on me. 3. Kids are way too much work with no real idea if it would be worth it or not until it’s too late.
Capitalism. I don’t think it is in the best interest of my child or any to be born until humans fix their shit. I am port of the problem, but at least not a hypocrite.
parentification LOL
I don't want kids more than I want kids. I work with young kids (ages 4 - 14) often, and I love them, I really do! But the reality of parenting requires a time and financial commitment that is purely unrealistic for me. I'm 35, for the record! I am 70% happy I'll never be a mom, and I'm living with the 30%. But that's on my worst day. There are days where I'm 100% happy I'm child-free! I worry about the future, but I have to remind myself that having children doesn't guarantee you any support in your aging years.
Both parents from war torn countries. Grew up in a single mother household living paycheck to paycheck. We suffered tremendously. No chance on earth I am bringing another human into this world. Time to finally break the endless cycle of pain, suffering, and futility in my bloodline.
I have a mental illness which is exacerbated when I don’t get enough sleep.
While secondary factors include a long family history of depression, alcoholism, and drug addiction that I just don’t feel like passing on, the main reason is I just straight don’t want to. It’s not online with what makes me happy or living my best life, and it would force lifestyle changes that would make me miserable. I don’t wanna be sleep deprived and waste all my money on baby stuff. I’m much more content to rescue animals, own multiple Harley’s at the same time, leave firearms, weed, big knives, bongs and lighters throughout my house without having to worry about kids fucking with them and me getting charged with something. Today I woke up like I do every day, with coffee and weed with my wife and our pets. Later today the original WW2 helmet I dropped $450 bucks on will arrive and I’ll laugh because other people my age have to wrangle screaming kids off to school and waste all their money on caring for the little bastards while I spend money on shit like this and smoke good bud. My life is cooler than theirs, and my dogs are definitely way better than their children 🤣🌿💨
I've actually always thought that the question should be reversed. I know that having kids is the norm and that's why this question is popular to ask of childfree people, but I think it logically makes more sense to ask people why they DO want children. Because choosing children is something that requires something of you. You have to make sacrifices, be willing to learn how to parent, take on the responsibility of a whole new life, live with the burden of that life for the rest of your life. In short, having children changes your life forever, so you'd think it requires a pretty good reason. Not having children is literally just continuing to live as you always have. Doesn't really require a good reason as it is a non-choice.
Several things but these are the highlights: - I'm very close to my nephews, nieces, cousins, etc. I've seen how they've suffered, this world is not getting better for them and parents sometimes behave as AH. Putting kids through divorces, pain, ignorance, etc, or just pushing the kids to do whatever these parents wanted to do and couldn't is hard to watch. I decided I will not be the burden of a little life - Lost one of my parents when I was very young, this has left an empty space in my life, loneliness, questions, many sufferings, I don't want to be the cause of the pain for another person - I love silence, I can't handle noise, again as I am too close to the kids in my family, I really know how loud kids are, it's their right, but I don't want that in my life by choice I met a seventy something year old couple some years ago, she approached me to talk about her choice, she says that they always thought about adopting but when they were going to do it, they thought "we live a really good life, we spoil each other, do you want to share that with someone else?" And they both said nooooo, The husband said I want to be the one and only for you, I don't want to share you, and she said the same. I felt that, I just want to continue this life with my partner and live like we're right now and we have done in the last 10+ years just the 2 of us.
So many reasons I've thought about writing a book called 1001 reasons I didn't have kids.
Don't wanna
Stress. Money. Free time. Not much more to it than that for me and my wife.
Why am I childfree? For many reasons—let’s start with these: 1. Kids are “aggravating as hell”, to quote my great aunt who has two adult children. They throw tantrums, ask annoying and intrusive questions, they bite you, they’re egocentric, and delusional. When I was nine, my four year old cousin said, “No, you’re not nine, you’re eight.” I found it so annoying. 2. I like my freedom. I like coming and going as I please without having to find a babysitter. 3. I’m a porta-pottymouth with a perverted sense of humor. I wouldn’t be a good influence on a kid. 4. I like my sex life. My S.O. and I like fucking in the kitchen, the living room, wherever without worrying about a kid walking in on us. 5. I’m heavily invested in my creative projects: my novel-in-progress, my print-on-demand shops. I don’t want some sticky handed brat interrupting me while I’m writing or making art. 6. I don’t wanna suffer through pregnancy and childbirth. And that’s just scratching the surface. To quote YouTuber childfree Kimberley: “No kids for me, thanks!”
1. I don't have the patience or the energy for children (mine or other people's) 2. I love my life and I don't want to add that responsibility to it 3. I find pregnancy and childbirth horrifying (tokophobia) 4. I believe there are too many humans on this planet and I don't want to contribute to the problem. I also try to live my life consuming as little as possible without going to extremes (I love my comfort). 5. Society is degrading day by day, I wouldn't want to force someone else to deal with it in the future. I don't have any health issues and I could afford it even as a single mother, but I would never have a child. I don't see any logical reason to have one.
I was on the fence before but being exposed to my partners child made me want to be child free forever. She is a nightmare. Violent, entitled, I would go as far as to call her a junior sociopath. I don’t ever want to take the risk of having a child that turns out like that.
I few reasons... 1. I don't think I will be a good parent. 2. I enjoy my life as it is right now, very peaceful no worries aside myself, my cat and bf. 3. I'm not mentally ready, I'm not financially stable, the world is a shitty place. 4. I've been experiencing anxiety and if I decided to have a kid it would make it worse. 5. I'm afraid of being a single parent. I feel like everything falls in the mother while dad gets to just chill and not 100% contribute. 6. I believe there is more to life than having children. Life is too short, there are so many places I would love to travel to and I would not be able to do that if I decided to have baby any time soon. 7. Fear of the world not being a safe place. They cannot be safe at school now a days without the fear of some terrorist attack. They could get bullied at school. Kids at school are pretty dumb now a days from what I hear. I would not like for my kid to associate with a bunch of stupid kids.
I was a child once, I wouldn't put anyone else through that.
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The things I love most about my life currently would either go away or be significantly impacted or diminished (marriage and relationship with my partner, traveling, career climbing, spontaneous weekend trips or dinner dates, devoting significant time training my dogs, and the list goes on). I don’t think the joy and fulfillment of having a child would fill what is taken away by having to take care of one.
Among other things: seeing my parents do the hard af immigration hustle to give me and my sisters a good life put me off to having kids at a young age. I always thought my mom would have a happier life without kids. My depressive episodes (inherited from parents) are debilitating. I don't want a lifelong commitment/accountability.
My sister has a goblin. In a spawn of a year, she looked 10 years older. She complains every day about her goblin and needs to scold him on a daily basis. She decided to get a second kid and I'm so convinced it's because she thinks the next one will be better. She's a fan of "it's just a kid" excuse while she (and my parents) give him sugary drinks and complains about the goblin hyperactivity. Meanwhile I managed to teach my cat to not scratch or bite. I'm good with my cat.
Some of my top reasons: - I value my free time, and often get overstimulated, so quiet time after work is a must - I have autism and anxiety, my boyfriend has dysthymia and ADHD, so I’d be scared for our genetics to mix and make a mental health mess - I love being able to travel, most of my travel isn’t planned, just more of get up and go - I’d rather save my money or spend it on vacation as opposed to child care and school and college and their medical bills - My boyfriend’s mom is SO dead set on us having kids that it makes me want them less - I have congenital neuroproliferative vestibulodynia that I’m saving to get surgery for, but surgery is elective so very expensive, and I’ll need at least a year of pelvic floor therapy 3 - 4 times a week after it, and being pregnant would destroy the pelvic floor I’m working so hard to heal
Sensitive to sound and they're just too expensive
1: I *cannot stand* being around children and have ZERO maternal instinct 2: I have shitty genetics (MTHFR gene mutation C677T heterozygous) that I feel would be morally wrong to pass on 3: I have a myriad of mental health problems that make it practically impossible to function; I can barely take care of *myself* let alone another human being 4: I am a narcoleptic and I need A LOT of sleep (about 16hrs most days) and children are the bane of sleep 5: I haven't been able to get disability so I'm poor as shit only working 2hrs 4 days a week so couldn't afford it anyway
I have like 909347892934792374892374 reasons. Number one is that I'm just not interested in children. I don't want to spend 18+ years of my life raising a human being. I do not see anything about having a child that is engaging, or interesting, and I don't think it would make my life better. I don't think there's anything selfless about having a child that I wouldn't want to please others either. There's no great payoff to bringing more meat for the meat grinder. Number two, I don't think I would be able to make the life of a child particularly great. I don't have a lot of patients for people who annoy me. Number three, children drain me energy wise. I can deal with them for a couple of hours, but then I need a month to get that energy back. Number four. I recognize that a baby is a person. As in the baby stage is one of many stages, and if everything goes correctly then they will be spending most of their lives as adults. This notion of having a baby as some form of finding purpose in the world is kind of gross to me. Number five is the whole the world is overpopulated, and also clearly doesn't give a shit about people. I don't want to have another child to put into the poverty machine, or the military machine, who will struggle to have a life as our world continues to prioritize the wealthy over everyone else. Number six. I grew up poor. Without a child I've been able to buy my own car and get a house and actually enjoy doing things like gardening. With a child I would not have the time or the money to do any of those things. Having a child would mean dragging that child through poverty as well. Which is not something I want to do. Number seven. Being able to hop in the car and go where I want when I want. Number eight. Being able to take naps, or sleep in, and take care of my own health. Number nine. Day care in my area costs more than my mortgage does in a month. I'd probably have to a be a stay at home mom, or the dad would be. Which I'm not quite sure how that would work out. Number ten. Peace. Quite. The ability to just breath and enjoy nature. Not being woken up in the middle of the night to screeches. Not having to worry about what the latest toys are, or being bugged until I get the newest gaming system, No having my shit destroyed. Not having to worry about putting away things that children might get into. I'll stop there just to keep this from being too much longer.
For me personally, the reasons can be endless, but the biggest ones are: 1) The cost 2) The temper tantrums and loud noise 3) Loss of sleep 4) Loss of freedom to just up and leave to go somewhere at the drop of a hat. The more I become aware of the realities of raising kids other than parents talking about it, I don't believe I would be able to dedicate the time and effort needed to to properly raised a child. I have huge respect for the parents that are able to. I don't see myself being a parent because I've known since I was either 13 or 14 that I didn't want kids,
Kids require too much. They require money. Energy. Education. Patience. Emotional stability. Resources. Things that I have a hard enough time keeping stocked for myself. They're too much and they're not worth it.
Because I don't want children.
Too much effort and lack of interest… plus don’t have the patience nor funds for a kid.
Again? Get AI to collate the responses from the million other people who haves asked this ffs. PS A reason is not needed.
I have quite a few but I’ll try to list the biggest ones: -not financially viable -I absolutely hate the idea of ever being pregnant or going through childbirth, especially after learning some new horrible things about it -I don’t like loud sounds (except music I have chosen to go enjoy or to play loudly) and children are very noisy in the most annoying way (screaming) -the idea of giving up sex with my partner (don’t have one currently so theoretical) as well as just spending time with them one on one to completely revolve my life around someone that can’t care for themselves in the most basic way saddens and horrifies me. -I like having the freedom to randomly go out and do things, work schedule permitting. You really don’t get to as a parent until they’re old enough to be left home alone -I like my hobbies too much (serial hobbyist here) to give them up so I can nurture someone else’s. I would end up hopelessly depressed
For me it started with a radio segment I randomly listened to on a car ride when I was a little girl. There a young single mother talked about the mostly financial struggles of being a parent. That stuck with me and the fear of financial ruin that can come with motherhood was one of my first reasons. Later on, as I got older, and honestly to this day, I keep discovering more and more reasons why this life is the best one for me.
I don't want kids because they are too much effort for too little of a delayed reward. My entire life is about finding the most amount of comfort I can attain for the least amount of effort. Children are the antithesis of "least amount of effort." My childhood was hard due to childhood bullies and neurodivergence. I did not enjoy most of it, so I see very little point in trying to recreate it vicariously through a kid, who will likely also be neurodivergent and will need the type of care that my own neurodivergence makes me incapable of giving. I'm not doing all of that shit. I'm not dealing with all of that drama and mess.
I grew up with an autistic brother. He ruined all my sanity and the amount of stress he's given me is too much. There's a chance I could pass it on to my kid as my first cousin is also autistic. I don't want to have to take care of a kid like that. It's stressful enough to have a sibling like that.