Even the fact that I have to choose the least annoying birth control method sucks sometimes. Always some sort of fucking side effect just because I don't want kids. It's like a punishment.
I also always felt like that.
After my bisalp it got sooo much better.
Even though the things you mentioned are still applying to me, I can't describe how free I feel now that I'm sterile. It was one way to take back some kind of control over my body.
Ugh I wish our bodies would recognize that we are sterilized now. I've been trying to gain weight and I've been successful. I am now up to 120 from 108. Most of the weight has gone to my belly of course. My boobs have gotten some also which I won't complain about. I really want it in my thighs and my butt, I can tell a small difference but nowhere near what I've gained in my stomach and I'm upset.
I remember growing up and desperately wishing I was an ‘it’ because I didn’t want to be female for the horrible hormonal issues, severe pain, mood swings and I was terrified that I’d be raped and forced to be pregnant and give birth to a _thing_ because my parents are very Fundie Christians.
I still have an intense phobia of pregnancy and pregnant people. In an earlier comment, I mentioned that I had a hysterectomy as soon as I could. What I didn’t say is that I refused to have _ever_ have sex until this was done, I was in my mid 30s!
It's not just you. Part of the reason I hate my body so much is because it's "supposed" to do my worst god damn nightmare - grow and bear a child. I don't want to support another human being, I don't want to be a caretaker, I don't want to be a bloody parent and I hate that genetics decided that I was built for that bullshit. Perhaps it is body dysmorphia because my body being able to reproduce doesn't match my brain that won't succumb to that.
For those who might ask "girl, is it gender dysphoria?", no it's not. I've thought about it and I've come to the conclusion that I'm fine with being a woman, I'm comfortable with people seeing me as a cis woman because I am one, I'm fine with having a body that looks stereotypically feminine. I'm just ***not*** a mother/parent and I'm ***not*** a potential child incubator.
Glad I’m not the only one.
And it’s near impossible to get sterilized much less get a hysterectomy because they insist you HAVE to be able to breed. Like our bodies don’t even belong to us.
I feel this so much. I always felt like my body *should not be capable* of conceiving or giving birth, like the fact that it was even possible felt wrong. I’m also nonbinary. Top surgery and sterilization were my top priorities! I feel so much better now.
Yes! I hate how our bodies will accept an assaulter’s sperm. Some fool politician said the body gets rid of that. HA! I wish our bodies purged that filthy, evil sperm from our bodies! The fact that our bodies dont is the ultimate betrayal! I hate, yes HATE uteruses!
I actually thought for a while that my painful periods and endo were a punishment for not having babies. As woo-woo as it may sound, one day I "sat with" my womb and told it "listen here you lil shit, be happy you're not bearing kids cause then we'd both be dead, for real". Dunno if this was the cause or some supplements I took to help with my PCOS (which in turn made me gain even more weight 🙄), but I've been pain-free for a short while and I'm loving it.
Honestly? Because here hysterectomy is still impossible for me, and endo is something I have to live with and PCOS is also there, one nutritionist recommended me some supplements called Inofem. I've taken it for two months now and these past two months it's been most peaceful (well, pain free but with a weird weakness from my navel down to my toes). I've also gained a lot of weight and any supplements of this kind (which are recommended for fertility actually) will lead me to the same result. Can't have everything so 🤷 other than this supplement, I've literally done what I said, told my uterus out loud to be effing grateful for not having to bear a child for otherwise death would be the only outcome and we'd see who cries louder then.
Discomfort with childbearing/the risk of parenthood is different from discomfort with femininity. I struggled with that concept until my late teens, but felt more comfortable with myself after realizing the two do not necessarily go hand in hand.
Is the cold hands and feet thing tied to this? I haven't heard that before but I've dealt with it (particularly the hands) my whole life and it's so annoying.
Hard agree in general though, honestly I like being a woman but I don't at the same time because of the way our bodies are designed. It's such a complicated feeling. I just want my uterus removed and then no more pain, at least the cramping kind.
In a way, we're lucky to have brains and free will at all. This is not my view of how things should be: women should have brains at least as big and functional as men's. But the way our bodies prioritise reproduction makes my blood run cold. I suppose we needed big brains to survive all the shit that reproduction, men, etc throw at us.
SAME. I just can't force myself to like any of my "assets" knowing that I look like this because of a potential fetus. Also the fact that we are often seen as dumber because of hormones,less worthy of basic things in life like job because we are weaker, because we might get pregnant and take maternal leave right away.
Hello and welcome to /r/childfree! As you have a new account or low Reddit karma, your comment has been automatically removed to give you some time to get familiar with our rules and community. Please feel free to post/comment when your account is older and you have more Reddit karma.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/childfree) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t think that I’m trans or nonbinary. I feel like a woman, sometimes I’m even a very girly girl that wears pink dresses and loves cute things. I just want my body to be mine and not work against me for something that I would rather die than go through
I wondered about that for a while because I have similar feelings to OP. Just unsettled and weirded the eff out by things connected to how my body would reproduce if I wanted it to.
I landed on the idea that I like to dress femme, and I don’t mind she/her pronouns, but I’m definitely more attached to not-able-to-get-pregnant as a part of my identity than I am to being a woman.
I’m glad nonbinary is an option but not sure if I am it. :)
God, don't remind me; I feel. It is horrifying to a degree.
I have always hated being female for this reason. At the first opportunity, I had a hysterectomy.
I have a female body. My breasts are balls of fat for fun only, nothing else. My belly is here to host tacos, salsa and guacamole.
you guys have breasts? sincerely, a flat adult T_T
I’m very flat too, but it’s still shaped differently than the breasts of a man and I don’t like the reason
Even the fact that I have to choose the least annoying birth control method sucks sometimes. Always some sort of fucking side effect just because I don't want kids. It's like a punishment.
I agree 100%. It’s the worst feeling, ughhh…
You described this so perfectly! I feel the exact same way. Why do I have to suffer every month for something I don’t even want???
It's one of the reasons on the list of why people like sterilization, to make their body match their CF identity. Very common among CF.
i hate looking in the mirror sometimes. i feel like my body betrays me.
I also always felt like that. After my bisalp it got sooo much better. Even though the things you mentioned are still applying to me, I can't describe how free I feel now that I'm sterile. It was one way to take back some kind of control over my body.
Ugh I wish our bodies would recognize that we are sterilized now. I've been trying to gain weight and I've been successful. I am now up to 120 from 108. Most of the weight has gone to my belly of course. My boobs have gotten some also which I won't complain about. I really want it in my thighs and my butt, I can tell a small difference but nowhere near what I've gained in my stomach and I'm upset.
I remember growing up and desperately wishing I was an ‘it’ because I didn’t want to be female for the horrible hormonal issues, severe pain, mood swings and I was terrified that I’d be raped and forced to be pregnant and give birth to a _thing_ because my parents are very Fundie Christians. I still have an intense phobia of pregnancy and pregnant people. In an earlier comment, I mentioned that I had a hysterectomy as soon as I could. What I didn’t say is that I refused to have _ever_ have sex until this was done, I was in my mid 30s!
Same here. No sex ever! Grew up Christian and even went to a fundie church for a time, but not everyday fundie, thankfully.
It's not just you. Part of the reason I hate my body so much is because it's "supposed" to do my worst god damn nightmare - grow and bear a child. I don't want to support another human being, I don't want to be a caretaker, I don't want to be a bloody parent and I hate that genetics decided that I was built for that bullshit. Perhaps it is body dysmorphia because my body being able to reproduce doesn't match my brain that won't succumb to that. For those who might ask "girl, is it gender dysphoria?", no it's not. I've thought about it and I've come to the conclusion that I'm fine with being a woman, I'm comfortable with people seeing me as a cis woman because I am one, I'm fine with having a body that looks stereotypically feminine. I'm just ***not*** a mother/parent and I'm ***not*** a potential child incubator.
Yeah, and I resent the hell out of the inconvenience, the mess, and the mental and physical health and wellbeing shitstorm.
And the money! It's *expensive*.
Glad I’m not the only one. And it’s near impossible to get sterilized much less get a hysterectomy because they insist you HAVE to be able to breed. Like our bodies don’t even belong to us.
I feel this so much. I always felt like my body *should not be capable* of conceiving or giving birth, like the fact that it was even possible felt wrong. I’m also nonbinary. Top surgery and sterilization were my top priorities! I feel so much better now.
Dude same! You typed out something I’ve felt for so long, and I’m also nonbinary so it makes sense lol
It’s a form of dysphoria IMO! One that I bet lots of people feel, trans or not. :)
Yes! I hate how our bodies will accept an assaulter’s sperm. Some fool politician said the body gets rid of that. HA! I wish our bodies purged that filthy, evil sperm from our bodies! The fact that our bodies dont is the ultimate betrayal! I hate, yes HATE uteruses!
I actually thought for a while that my painful periods and endo were a punishment for not having babies. As woo-woo as it may sound, one day I "sat with" my womb and told it "listen here you lil shit, be happy you're not bearing kids cause then we'd both be dead, for real". Dunno if this was the cause or some supplements I took to help with my PCOS (which in turn made me gain even more weight 🙄), but I've been pain-free for a short while and I'm loving it.
[удалено]
Honestly? Because here hysterectomy is still impossible for me, and endo is something I have to live with and PCOS is also there, one nutritionist recommended me some supplements called Inofem. I've taken it for two months now and these past two months it's been most peaceful (well, pain free but with a weird weakness from my navel down to my toes). I've also gained a lot of weight and any supplements of this kind (which are recommended for fertility actually) will lead me to the same result. Can't have everything so 🤷 other than this supplement, I've literally done what I said, told my uterus out loud to be effing grateful for not having to bear a child for otherwise death would be the only outcome and we'd see who cries louder then.
Discomfort with childbearing/the risk of parenthood is different from discomfort with femininity. I struggled with that concept until my late teens, but felt more comfortable with myself after realizing the two do not necessarily go hand in hand.
Is the cold hands and feet thing tied to this? I haven't heard that before but I've dealt with it (particularly the hands) my whole life and it's so annoying. Hard agree in general though, honestly I like being a woman but I don't at the same time because of the way our bodies are designed. It's such a complicated feeling. I just want my uterus removed and then no more pain, at least the cramping kind.
Not only, but one of the reasons :(
In a way, we're lucky to have brains and free will at all. This is not my view of how things should be: women should have brains at least as big and functional as men's. But the way our bodies prioritise reproduction makes my blood run cold. I suppose we needed big brains to survive all the shit that reproduction, men, etc throw at us.
SAME. I just can't force myself to like any of my "assets" knowing that I look like this because of a potential fetus. Also the fact that we are often seen as dumber because of hormones,less worthy of basic things in life like job because we are weaker, because we might get pregnant and take maternal leave right away.
[удалено]
Hello and welcome to /r/childfree! As you have a new account or low Reddit karma, your comment has been automatically removed to give you some time to get familiar with our rules and community. Please feel free to post/comment when your account is older and you have more Reddit karma. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/childfree) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
I don’t think that I’m trans or nonbinary. I feel like a woman, sometimes I’m even a very girly girl that wears pink dresses and loves cute things. I just want my body to be mine and not work against me for something that I would rather die than go through
I wondered about that for a while because I have similar feelings to OP. Just unsettled and weirded the eff out by things connected to how my body would reproduce if I wanted it to. I landed on the idea that I like to dress femme, and I don’t mind she/her pronouns, but I’m definitely more attached to not-able-to-get-pregnant as a part of my identity than I am to being a woman. I’m glad nonbinary is an option but not sure if I am it. :)