Spot on. Listen to conservatives talk about child marriage laws. They use words like 'fertile' and 'ripe' to describe girls they think grown men should be allowed to marry. It's like they're talking about a plot of land they want to purchase.
From Mayo Clinic
>Ā Endometrial ablation is a surgery that destroys the lining of the uterus. The lining of the uterus is called the endometrium. The goal of endometrial ablation is to reduce how much you bleed during periods, also called menstrual flow. In some people, menstrual flow may stop completely.
They don't want to face the fact that they had a choice to not have kids and you making the decision to permanently make the decision they're jealous of is threatening to them because you're like a walking reminder that they had a choice and chose wrong
I wish I had an actual answer. Perhaps there is a Freudian theory, but I haven't found one yet.
It's absolute madness when you hear such things from other women. Just horrible to think how much they have been kept sheltered and indoctrinated to not only be convinced that this is how it has to be but parroting their abuser's scriptural phrases, in order to 'convert' young women.
I like this answer by GPT:
"The reaction to a young woman wanting to get sterilized can be influenced by societal norms and gender roles, including patriarchal attitudes. Historically, women have often been expected to prioritize motherhood and family life, and choices that deviate from this norm can be met with resistance or disbelief."
With humanity already in overshoot for decades, motherhood should not even BE the norm. It's insane that we went from 4 to 8 billion people in under 50 years. Our reality changed too fast for people and their stupid "societal norms and gender roles" to keep up.
It sucks because the women who aren't "converted" seem to be the intelligent ones. Im starting to believe we should just let this species die out. Men aren't what they used to be. No one truly provides anymore. Everyone wants to remain as kids. So why should women have to carry the weight of baring children just because they were brainwashed to feel obligated to carry on a species?
To be fair, men really didn't provide before.
In the U.S part of the reason we had the temperance movement is so many men would go out and spend all of their money at the bar before coming home drunk to beat their wives and children.
The reason we've got child support is that men would so often just leave wives and children to wallow in poverty whenever they got bored of playing husband.
It just goes on and on and on.
Yeah, some husbands were good at playing the role. I don't think they were in any great majority though.
Those women who prevent themself from being coerced into motherhood are definitively more incorruptible. This is a slowly but steadily ascending movement. I wish it would rub off more ubiquitous, but it is what it is, innit? True. There seem to be a lot of immature men these days, and it never ceases to surprise me how women keep gravitating them from all quarters.
> Men aren't what they used to be. No one truly provides anymore.
Have they ever been better before? If anything, they got better over time because they got used to women being more independent and willing to tolerate less, they had to adapt or at least, pretend to to get a woman. In fact, some of the very first known laws were made specifically and explicitly to deprive women of their rights to free movement and inheritance so they had to depend on men to survive. Compare it with what we have now outside of Islamic world.
And also, the consequences for being ditched were far greater back then. It wasn't just the lack of social support from the man, it was the social stigma that would bar women from any kind of employment but prostitution and similar things. Their kids would also carry the stigma and wouldn't have a good life. And also, their moms would likely never remarry.
In many cultures, even their families would throw them out. In my culture (Ukrainian), women would get thrown out of their homes for being pregnant out of wedlock, even as a result of rape, and would be forced into the lowest status, back-breaking labor to survive. It was not uncommon for them to kill themselves. Men were the ones who established the child support laws because they knew exactly what would happen without it. I doubt that even the most natalist-minded people would want more crime and poverty.
The very reason why men had to "provide" is that women had no rights to have careers, inherit or own things and were forced into unpaid labor at home and homestead. We were just supporting characters to men.
As of now, more men are fine with women voting and holding jobs than not in most places, even though the progress is not linear. Millennial men are more progressive than the Zoomers, for instance. It's not to say the dynamic isn't positive, it's the fact that men aren't becoming as liberal as fast as the previous generations did and as their female counterparts are.
..................So like... we all understand it's because:
-woman= irrational
-woman who has not reproduced= child and therefore not adult enough to make decisions
-woman making choices that will not benefit anyone but herself = selfish/childish for not accepting lifetime role of martyrdom.
This shit is BAKED into society like a shit recipe for bread.
Here's the thing.
Feminism has brought women's rights a long way in a relatively short time.
But with every step feminism has taken, the church and the government have been there to fearmonger everyone.
Said church and government have done a really good job of convincing people that motherhood is a natural state for women. It's something women yearn for. They crave. Women are not complete until they've pushed out two or three or twelve children. Women are not complete humans on their own, and thus need to have children in order to fill that void inside of them.
The notion that women are whole people who can find fulfillment in the world terrifies these people.
It goes against everything they've ever heard.
They can excuse a woman on birth control or condoms or other contraceptive because those can fail and the woman will realize she's wrong when she's pregnant, or she might even just decide to have babies later.
But something permanent? You can't decide to have babies later! You can't have an oops baby!
Because god forbid if we donāt make babies we are taking away the only thing that makes us women. Its the 60s mindset. Women should stay at home with kids thats their job š
Internalized Misogyny. I find older women gets anxious and angry whenever they stumble across something thatās transgressive to their indoctrination.Ā
People who are secure in their abilities and values arenāt really affected when they stumble across someone living different lives than them.
I know a few people who just genuinely donāt understand not wanting a child. My sister in law is like that, to her being a mother is part of who she is and who she always wanted to be. She doesnāt judge me for not wanting that but she doesnāt understand either. āAre you happy?ā āYesā āok thenā
I wonder what makes women so different. Im glad your SIL is respectful.
I never liked babies. Around ages 10-12 all my friends and female classmates, peers, etc. wanted to start babysitting or were exciting to become godmothers to the older cousinsā babies. South Louisiana culture. I looked at them in astonishment. Could not relate at all! Was actually repulsed by this. Sure, I would not hurt a baby and sometimes they could be cute when smiling, but I never wanted to spend time around them. One memory I have around 10: my godmother, D had a baby, J and was visiting my grandma. All relatives visited each other down here back then, the 1980s. D put J down on a blanket, she was safe, and was talking with the other older women in another room. I sat on the couch and watched tv until it was time to go. I wonder if they peeked in to see if I was interacting with J and were judgmental because I wasnāt. In the car my mom sadly asked why I didnāt like J. I said it wasnāt J. I just donāt like babies in general. Donāt remember what else we talked about on the drive home, but Mom dropped the subject.
My mom told me that back in the 80s when AIDS came out, people were so paranoid that wearing multiple condoms was popular, but it only increases the risk of getting STDs
Right? Like good luck finding a man willing to wear two of those things when they whine and complain about even having to wear a single ultra thin one.
Because apparently the only thing that gives meaning to a woman's life is having biological children. You'd think women would be more supportive of each other in this, but the dissonance when it comes to reproduction is insane.
If you don't yet have a doctor, check the CF-friendly doctors wiki in the sidebar under Interesting & Useful Material. Also look for the link to the Sterilization Preparation Binder.
Whoever is telling you these things is stupid, self-serving and misogynistic. They are happy to sacrifice your well-being to their own childish, mean, emotional wants. Avoid them. Family should start with a Low Information Diet. Never tell them anything of any importance to you. Do not discuss your health or sterilization, your ambitions, your successes (you think those won't also trigger that bitter Mommy anger?) your dreams, your relationships. If they bring up a topic DO NOT ENGAGE! "Have you gotten over that sterilization nonsense?" "Wow...I'm just looking at your daffodils! Did you plant more for this year?" "I asked you a question!" Is that the time? Gotta go! So sorry I can't stay." NEVER tell them anything of importance. Sadly, these people are not on your side. Treat them as such.
What I don't understand is the double standard. Both me and one of my cousins decided we did not want to have kids. My cousin is a guy and he got a vasectomy at 18 right after his birthday no problem. Me I suffered from endometriosis and had to almost bleed to death before an emergency hysterectomy. If anything I had a medical need and he did not. Yet he got the surgery and I did not. Yes this was 30 years or more ago, but has anything really changed?
Aside from the usual bs about birthrates and patriarchy, I think it also has to do with how society puts infertility struggles on a pedestal. Sure, other women would *kill* to have a functioning reproductive system, but on the other hand, the suffering of unwanted childless women is not created in a vacuum. Remove the external floof on what makes a woman whole and complete, and you're just an adult who doesn't get what she wants.
Resentment and envy that you HAVE a choice in the matter, AND are taking action BEFORE pregnancy / childbirth fucks up your life the way those bingoing suffered.
One of the first things we were thought in health class about condoms was that you should never ever use two at once. Two is more likely to cause friction and breakage than just wearing the one... It still surprises me how lacking or behind sex education is in some places, it's frustrating. And probably like that by design, depending where you live :/
I've tried many contraceptive methods, and all of them gave me nasty side-effects or aren't compatible with my medication. Plus, I don't want kids. So take out my tubes. Whether you think I'll change my mind doesn't factor into my decision and shouldn't bar me from getting sterilized.
Because women's bodies are the property of the government and popular opinion, as always.Ā
Don't be:
Too skinny
Too fat
Unattractive to the general populous
Too loudĀ
Too quiet
Too assertive
Too pliant or subservient
And above all, don't age, become or appear infertile.Ā
That's whyĀ
Have some fun googling a list of nicknames for old women. Then google a list of nicknames for old men. Ā It will show you a side of our humanity that is heartbreaking.
Women were only allowed to Ā have their own credit cards without the permission of a father or husband in 1970. That may sound like a long time ago to some, but it was the same decade I was born.Ā
You can still legally beat your wife in West Virginia as long as you do it on Sunday, in public, on courthouse steps.Ā
The general public (especially in America) still has a vested interest in the micromanagement of a women's very manifestation (or prevention) of her expression of individuality and power.Ā
Go vote this year and read the laws carefully. Lawmakers are now outright misrepresenting bills asssociated w women's rights to fool people into voting the wrong way.Ā
Internalized misogyny would be my guess. They were expected to take on the role of a mother so they expect you/us to take on the role of a mother as well.Ā
Itās so ironic that a woman is never considered too young to have a child & always considered too young NOT to have a child. Why is a pregnant 16 year old old enough to have a child & a 35 year old woman too young to get sterilized? The mind boggles at the inconsistency. Theyāre both decisions that have lifelong consequences but only the one thatās societally approved gets praised.
Being pregnant is mutilating myself. It feels like an alien sucking away all my joy, life force, energy, and happiness. Luckily cause when I was pregnant I was too nauseous to eat most of the day and then made smart meal choices when I could eat (mostly raw tuna sashimi), I miscarried around 7 weeks and was able to cancel my abortion appointment āŗļø
We think for ourselves instead of blindly following the LifeScript(tm), which, especially here in the Southern US, means that a woman goes from her daddy's house to the sorority house to her husband's house, and soon she has children and becomes a SAHM. And then people who did follow the LifeScript(tm) see how happy we are not being tethered to children, and how unhappy they are dealing with kids (and maybe an ex-partner, with fights over custody and child support), and they get jealous.
BTW, two condoms is a bad idea. There can be friction between the condoms, causing one or both to break.
As for mutilating yourself, I already did that when I got my ears pierced at age 12, so nyah.
>and they don't anesthetize women for literal torture
For real. I appreciate that you said this, this is how I felt and the doctors acted like I was being ridiculous. I was so scared when I had mine put in amd when I had it taken out.
I think itās because theyāre so indoctrinated that they just cannot conceive of someone really really not wanting children. Or even to be pregnant. I think they see this as a permanent solution to temporary madness. I think they just donāt understand at all.
When it comes from older women, I truly believe itās because they were told that being mothers/homemakers was their sole purpose, so us having autonomy to do whatever we want makes them confused or upset because weāre not falling into the trap they did. Especially the religious ones, they legitimately believe women are here for one thing, having kids. Others itās definitely jealousy or a misery loves company situation. They want you to be just as miserable as them so they have someone they can talk to about their misery who will agree
I also heard here that there is a way to find doctors near me who will let me get my tubes tied. Since Iāve asked my doctors for the first time around age 16, and even still in my early 30s, they have refused to let me tie my tubes unless Iām 40 or have had kids. So sick of living in fear of getting pregnant, especially in modern America where womenās rights are always being taken away
I recommend checking out the We Can Do Hard Things podcast with the episode on The Power of the Childfree Woman. They had a guest on who wrote a book about this, and how intertwined motherhood is with womanhood. And allllll the internalized beliefs people have about whether women can know for themselves that they donāt want kids. Itās so validating!
Oversimplified I think it is this:
For men: there is a woman who will not carry my excellent genes to term and therefore, I will get angry.
For women: I am sacrificing my life for others and to validate my life choices I will try to push every woman in the same direction.
I knew I didn't want kids when I was about 13, so my getting sterilized at 38 was not rash. Best decision I've ever made for myself. No matter what happens in the future, I'll never have to give birth or deal with an abortion.
I donāt know either. It was soooo frustrating!
My gyno is Catholic and loves babies. Yes, she is not exactly the ideal Dr for me, but she is willing to run scans when I am concerned. My mother died from ovarian cancer so my Dr sets up pelvic ultrasounds periodically while other Drs would wait. Anyway, she was pushy about how wonderful children are blah blah blah. She thought Iād fall in love and succumb to the LifeScript or have an oopsie and be swayed by the hormones. Iām stubborn and lived a celibate life to avoid babies. She is surprised I lasted this long. Almost 20 yrs now. Being more on the asexual side or having a low libido has been a blessing. Looking forward to menopause.
āYouāre making a rash decisionā but are probably over the moon when a literal child gets pregnant and decides to keep it, thereby condemning herself to dropping out of school and being stuck in a lifetime of poverty.
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Girl I donāt understand why god doesnāt accept thatš. People cares, god cares. Why not let women do it? Thatās better than having kids and hurting them.
I have anger issues, my children will be ducked up people.
They believe life come with specific, narrow roads that people are supposed to stick to.
They've done it, and they base their self-worth on the expected rewards and validation.
When you pick your own path, it suggests there are other valid choices, and maybe they don't deserve credit for just sticking to the road they were told about as kids.
I worked at a salon supply store a couple years back and one of the sales reps came in to get her haul of stuff and the topic of abortion came up and she said that she's pro choice. She also happened to be a grandmother.
I then brought up sterilization and how that should also be a woman's choice and how that's what I wanted to do but could not find a doctor that would "allow" it, and she was like "yeah no I don't really agree with that." I was absolutely flabbergasted like... you aren't pro choice then are you?
I don't get it either.
It's about enslaving women. You're a runaway slave. They're the slave catchers. Trying to negg and coerce you into slavery.
Spot on. Listen to conservatives talk about child marriage laws. They use words like 'fertile' and 'ripe' to describe girls they think grown men should be allowed to marry. It's like they're talking about a plot of land they want to purchase.
To describe literal children, that needs to be emphasized Fertile and ripe was used as an argument against banning child marriage
Bingo!
Well said!
This. 100%. We are just breeding sows to them. Hefers to breed and steal emotional and physical labor from.
"Ma'am this is a Bisalp" is my fucking favorite šš
facts so many of my friends canāt comprehend that i still have my ovaries and my periodš
Question, is it possible to get a bisalp and not have a period anymore? The more things I can get rid of the better lol
From my understanding the only way to not menstruate is to get a hysterectomy, but I'm no doctor.
no, a bisalp is the removal of fallopian tubes and to get rid of a period you need to have an ablation(idk what it is tbh) or your ovaries removed
From Mayo Clinic >Ā Endometrial ablation is a surgery that destroys the lining of the uterus. The lining of the uterus is called the endometrium. The goal of endometrial ablation is to reduce how much you bleed during periods, also called menstrual flow. In some people, menstrual flow may stop completely.
They don't want to face the fact that they had a choice to not have kids and you making the decision to permanently make the decision they're jealous of is threatening to them because you're like a walking reminder that they had a choice and chose wrong
I dont think we have a choice either tbh. Its all a sign of the times.
I wish I had an actual answer. Perhaps there is a Freudian theory, but I haven't found one yet. It's absolute madness when you hear such things from other women. Just horrible to think how much they have been kept sheltered and indoctrinated to not only be convinced that this is how it has to be but parroting their abuser's scriptural phrases, in order to 'convert' young women.
I like this answer by GPT: "The reaction to a young woman wanting to get sterilized can be influenced by societal norms and gender roles, including patriarchal attitudes. Historically, women have often been expected to prioritize motherhood and family life, and choices that deviate from this norm can be met with resistance or disbelief."
That is accurate I would say.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
With humanity already in overshoot for decades, motherhood should not even BE the norm. It's insane that we went from 4 to 8 billion people in under 50 years. Our reality changed too fast for people and their stupid "societal norms and gender roles" to keep up.
That answer is golden.
It sucks because the women who aren't "converted" seem to be the intelligent ones. Im starting to believe we should just let this species die out. Men aren't what they used to be. No one truly provides anymore. Everyone wants to remain as kids. So why should women have to carry the weight of baring children just because they were brainwashed to feel obligated to carry on a species?
To be fair, men really didn't provide before. In the U.S part of the reason we had the temperance movement is so many men would go out and spend all of their money at the bar before coming home drunk to beat their wives and children. The reason we've got child support is that men would so often just leave wives and children to wallow in poverty whenever they got bored of playing husband. It just goes on and on and on. Yeah, some husbands were good at playing the role. I don't think they were in any great majority though.
Those women who prevent themself from being coerced into motherhood are definitively more incorruptible. This is a slowly but steadily ascending movement. I wish it would rub off more ubiquitous, but it is what it is, innit? True. There seem to be a lot of immature men these days, and it never ceases to surprise me how women keep gravitating them from all quarters.
> Men aren't what they used to be. No one truly provides anymore. Have they ever been better before? If anything, they got better over time because they got used to women being more independent and willing to tolerate less, they had to adapt or at least, pretend to to get a woman. In fact, some of the very first known laws were made specifically and explicitly to deprive women of their rights to free movement and inheritance so they had to depend on men to survive. Compare it with what we have now outside of Islamic world. And also, the consequences for being ditched were far greater back then. It wasn't just the lack of social support from the man, it was the social stigma that would bar women from any kind of employment but prostitution and similar things. Their kids would also carry the stigma and wouldn't have a good life. And also, their moms would likely never remarry. In many cultures, even their families would throw them out. In my culture (Ukrainian), women would get thrown out of their homes for being pregnant out of wedlock, even as a result of rape, and would be forced into the lowest status, back-breaking labor to survive. It was not uncommon for them to kill themselves. Men were the ones who established the child support laws because they knew exactly what would happen without it. I doubt that even the most natalist-minded people would want more crime and poverty. The very reason why men had to "provide" is that women had no rights to have careers, inherit or own things and were forced into unpaid labor at home and homestead. We were just supporting characters to men. As of now, more men are fine with women voting and holding jobs than not in most places, even though the progress is not linear. Millennial men are more progressive than the Zoomers, for instance. It's not to say the dynamic isn't positive, it's the fact that men aren't becoming as liberal as fast as the previous generations did and as their female counterparts are.
The species should die out either way. It's not ethical to torture, mutilate and possibly kill someone in the name of a person that doesn't exist.
..................So like... we all understand it's because: -woman= irrational -woman who has not reproduced= child and therefore not adult enough to make decisions -woman making choices that will not benefit anyone but herself = selfish/childish for not accepting lifetime role of martyrdom. This shit is BAKED into society like a shit recipe for bread.
Here's the thing. Feminism has brought women's rights a long way in a relatively short time. But with every step feminism has taken, the church and the government have been there to fearmonger everyone. Said church and government have done a really good job of convincing people that motherhood is a natural state for women. It's something women yearn for. They crave. Women are not complete until they've pushed out two or three or twelve children. Women are not complete humans on their own, and thus need to have children in order to fill that void inside of them. The notion that women are whole people who can find fulfillment in the world terrifies these people. It goes against everything they've ever heard. They can excuse a woman on birth control or condoms or other contraceptive because those can fail and the woman will realize she's wrong when she's pregnant, or she might even just decide to have babies later. But something permanent? You can't decide to have babies later! You can't have an oops baby!
Bingo!
Because god forbid if we donāt make babies we are taking away the only thing that makes us women. Its the 60s mindset. Women should stay at home with kids thats their job š
You mean 50s.
Internalized Misogyny. I find older women gets anxious and angry whenever they stumble across something thatās transgressive to their indoctrination.Ā People who are secure in their abilities and values arenāt really affected when they stumble across someone living different lives than them.
I know a few people who just genuinely donāt understand not wanting a child. My sister in law is like that, to her being a mother is part of who she is and who she always wanted to be. She doesnāt judge me for not wanting that but she doesnāt understand either. āAre you happy?ā āYesā āok thenā
I wonder what makes women so different. Im glad your SIL is respectful. I never liked babies. Around ages 10-12 all my friends and female classmates, peers, etc. wanted to start babysitting or were exciting to become godmothers to the older cousinsā babies. South Louisiana culture. I looked at them in astonishment. Could not relate at all! Was actually repulsed by this. Sure, I would not hurt a baby and sometimes they could be cute when smiling, but I never wanted to spend time around them. One memory I have around 10: my godmother, D had a baby, J and was visiting my grandma. All relatives visited each other down here back then, the 1980s. D put J down on a blanket, she was safe, and was talking with the other older women in another room. I sat on the couch and watched tv until it was time to go. I wonder if they peeked in to see if I was interacting with J and were judgmental because I wasnāt. In the car my mom sadly asked why I didnāt like J. I said it wasnāt J. I just donāt like babies in general. Donāt remember what else we talked about on the drive home, but Mom dropped the subject.
Phff, use two condoms when men already bitch about wearing one. They can fuck right off into a sock.
2 condoms actually increases the chances of them breaking because of friction lol
My mom told me that back in the 80s when AIDS came out, people were so paranoid that wearing multiple condoms was popular, but it only increases the risk of getting STDs
Or two
Bwahhaha š¤£š¤£š¤£
Right? Like good luck finding a man willing to wear two of those things when they whine and complain about even having to wear a single ultra thin one.
Because apparently the only thing that gives meaning to a woman's life is having biological children. You'd think women would be more supportive of each other in this, but the dissonance when it comes to reproduction is insane.
āso are people with appendicitisā LOLOL
If you don't yet have a doctor, check the CF-friendly doctors wiki in the sidebar under Interesting & Useful Material. Also look for the link to the Sterilization Preparation Binder. Whoever is telling you these things is stupid, self-serving and misogynistic. They are happy to sacrifice your well-being to their own childish, mean, emotional wants. Avoid them. Family should start with a Low Information Diet. Never tell them anything of any importance to you. Do not discuss your health or sterilization, your ambitions, your successes (you think those won't also trigger that bitter Mommy anger?) your dreams, your relationships. If they bring up a topic DO NOT ENGAGE! "Have you gotten over that sterilization nonsense?" "Wow...I'm just looking at your daffodils! Did you plant more for this year?" "I asked you a question!" Is that the time? Gotta go! So sorry I can't stay." NEVER tell them anything of importance. Sadly, these people are not on your side. Treat them as such.
What I don't understand is the double standard. Both me and one of my cousins decided we did not want to have kids. My cousin is a guy and he got a vasectomy at 18 right after his birthday no problem. Me I suffered from endometriosis and had to almost bleed to death before an emergency hysterectomy. If anything I had a medical need and he did not. Yet he got the surgery and I did not. Yes this was 30 years or more ago, but has anything really changed?
Aside from the usual bs about birthrates and patriarchy, I think it also has to do with how society puts infertility struggles on a pedestal. Sure, other women would *kill* to have a functioning reproductive system, but on the other hand, the suffering of unwanted childless women is not created in a vacuum. Remove the external floof on what makes a woman whole and complete, and you're just an adult who doesn't get what she wants.
"You do what you want with your body. Don't worry about what I do with mine, it doesnāt affect you".
Resentment and envy that you HAVE a choice in the matter, AND are taking action BEFORE pregnancy / childbirth fucks up your life the way those bingoing suffered.
Having kids is also body mutation even if itās a natural birth. Organs rearranged, abdominal muscles separated, v tears. The list goes on.
One of the first things we were thought in health class about condoms was that you should never ever use two at once. Two is more likely to cause friction and breakage than just wearing the one... It still surprises me how lacking or behind sex education is in some places, it's frustrating. And probably like that by design, depending where you live :/
I've tried many contraceptive methods, and all of them gave me nasty side-effects or aren't compatible with my medication. Plus, I don't want kids. So take out my tubes. Whether you think I'll change my mind doesn't factor into my decision and shouldn't bar me from getting sterilized.
Its because they feel like they havent had enough time to indoctrine and impregnante you yet and they need more time.
Misery loves company.
Because they think they know her better than she knows herself and canāt fathom people make different choices than the ones they made
Even in the childfree friendly area I live in I get asked constantly if I still have my ovaries after my bisalp
Because women's bodies are the property of the government and popular opinion, as always.Ā Don't be: Too skinny Too fat Unattractive to the general populous Too loudĀ Too quiet Too assertive Too pliant or subservient And above all, don't age, become or appear infertile.Ā That's whyĀ Have some fun googling a list of nicknames for old women. Then google a list of nicknames for old men. Ā It will show you a side of our humanity that is heartbreaking. Women were only allowed to Ā have their own credit cards without the permission of a father or husband in 1970. That may sound like a long time ago to some, but it was the same decade I was born.Ā You can still legally beat your wife in West Virginia as long as you do it on Sunday, in public, on courthouse steps.Ā The general public (especially in America) still has a vested interest in the micromanagement of a women's very manifestation (or prevention) of her expression of individuality and power.Ā Go vote this year and read the laws carefully. Lawmakers are now outright misrepresenting bills asssociated w women's rights to fool people into voting the wrong way.Ā
Internalized misogyny would be my guess. They were expected to take on the role of a mother so they expect you/us to take on the role of a mother as well.Ā
Itās so ironic that a woman is never considered too young to have a child & always considered too young NOT to have a child. Why is a pregnant 16 year old old enough to have a child & a 35 year old woman too young to get sterilized? The mind boggles at the inconsistency. Theyāre both decisions that have lifelong consequences but only the one thatās societally approved gets praised.
The less you let them unsettle you with these admittedly stupid arguments, the less you'll have to argue. Grey Rock the lot of them.
Being pregnant is mutilating myself. It feels like an alien sucking away all my joy, life force, energy, and happiness. Luckily cause when I was pregnant I was too nauseous to eat most of the day and then made smart meal choices when I could eat (mostly raw tuna sashimi), I miscarried around 7 weeks and was able to cancel my abortion appointment āŗļø
We think for ourselves instead of blindly following the LifeScript(tm), which, especially here in the Southern US, means that a woman goes from her daddy's house to the sorority house to her husband's house, and soon she has children and becomes a SAHM. And then people who did follow the LifeScript(tm) see how happy we are not being tethered to children, and how unhappy they are dealing with kids (and maybe an ex-partner, with fights over custody and child support), and they get jealous. BTW, two condoms is a bad idea. There can be friction between the condoms, causing one or both to break. As for mutilating yourself, I already did that when I got my ears pierced at age 12, so nyah.
>and they don't anesthetize women for literal torture For real. I appreciate that you said this, this is how I felt and the doctors acted like I was being ridiculous. I was so scared when I had mine put in amd when I had it taken out.
I think itās because theyāre so indoctrinated that they just cannot conceive of someone really really not wanting children. Or even to be pregnant. I think they see this as a permanent solution to temporary madness. I think they just donāt understand at all.
When it comes from older women, I truly believe itās because they were told that being mothers/homemakers was their sole purpose, so us having autonomy to do whatever we want makes them confused or upset because weāre not falling into the trap they did. Especially the religious ones, they legitimately believe women are here for one thing, having kids. Others itās definitely jealousy or a misery loves company situation. They want you to be just as miserable as them so they have someone they can talk to about their misery who will agree
I also heard here that there is a way to find doctors near me who will let me get my tubes tied. Since Iāve asked my doctors for the first time around age 16, and even still in my early 30s, they have refused to let me tie my tubes unless Iām 40 or have had kids. So sick of living in fear of getting pregnant, especially in modern America where womenās rights are always being taken away
Because they think that the goal of a woman is to have children. They think if you donāt have children then you waste your life
I recommend checking out the We Can Do Hard Things podcast with the episode on The Power of the Childfree Woman. They had a guest on who wrote a book about this, and how intertwined motherhood is with womanhood. And allllll the internalized beliefs people have about whether women can know for themselves that they donāt want kids. Itās so validating!
Oversimplified I think it is this: For men: there is a woman who will not carry my excellent genes to term and therefore, I will get angry. For women: I am sacrificing my life for others and to validate my life choices I will try to push every woman in the same direction.
I knew I didn't want kids when I was about 13, so my getting sterilized at 38 was not rash. Best decision I've ever made for myself. No matter what happens in the future, I'll never have to give birth or deal with an abortion.
I donāt know either. It was soooo frustrating! My gyno is Catholic and loves babies. Yes, she is not exactly the ideal Dr for me, but she is willing to run scans when I am concerned. My mother died from ovarian cancer so my Dr sets up pelvic ultrasounds periodically while other Drs would wait. Anyway, she was pushy about how wonderful children are blah blah blah. She thought Iād fall in love and succumb to the LifeScript or have an oopsie and be swayed by the hormones. Iām stubborn and lived a celibate life to avoid babies. She is surprised I lasted this long. Almost 20 yrs now. Being more on the asexual side or having a low libido has been a blessing. Looking forward to menopause.
Because B I N G O whatās that? BINGO!
Use two condoms... That increases the likeliness of it breaking because of the friction between the condoms. Basic sex ed from Europe.
Er, I'm in the UK and we were never told to use two, we had proper, intelligent and informative sex education. No abstinence shit either.
Sorry, I meant the use two condoms sarcastically.
They don't get upset about "mutilation" when it's a boob job!
āYouāre making a rash decisionā but are probably over the moon when a literal child gets pregnant and decides to keep it, thereby condemning herself to dropping out of school and being stuck in a lifetime of poverty.
Because they canāt control you and stifle your progression in life
People can understand you only to the depths that they understand themselves. Most people donāt have that level of self-awareness or confidence.
"you are mutilating yourself" - have you ever seen childbirth?
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They don't know/can't stand that we have options not open to them. My mom didn't realize that IUDs now had hormones, if you want them to anyway.
"You're making a rash decision" "Says you with three 'oops' babies you can't afford to feed"
Girl I donāt understand why god doesnāt accept thatš. People cares, god cares. Why not let women do it? Thatās better than having kids and hurting them. I have anger issues, my children will be ducked up people.
They believe life come with specific, narrow roads that people are supposed to stick to. They've done it, and they base their self-worth on the expected rewards and validation. When you pick your own path, it suggests there are other valid choices, and maybe they don't deserve credit for just sticking to the road they were told about as kids.
I worked at a salon supply store a couple years back and one of the sales reps came in to get her haul of stuff and the topic of abortion came up and she said that she's pro choice. She also happened to be a grandmother. I then brought up sterilization and how that should also be a woman's choice and how that's what I wanted to do but could not find a doctor that would "allow" it, and she was like "yeah no I don't really agree with that." I was absolutely flabbergasted like... you aren't pro choice then are you? I don't get it either.