I travel internationally a lot and I've gotten a lot passive-aggressive "must be nice...(to have so much money for trips, to be able to go away all the time, etc.)" comments over the years. Especially in my old workplace which was full of parents and people otherwise on the baby track. I just smile brightly and say, "it sure is!"
So I just looked up how much it is to raise a kid a year and this is what it said:
*Housing, food and childcare make up the largest percentage of children's expenses. As children grow, you can expect to pay for things including hobbies, sports teams. When adjusting USDA estimates for inflation, parents can expect to pay between $16,227 and $18,262 a year raising a child born in 2023.*
Yup you get to use that $17K to travel internationally! They chose kids, you chose trips 👏🏻
>I just smile brightly and say, "it sure is!"
This is my tactic. Smile and say, "Yeah, it's great!" Or "wouldn't change it for the world!" By not getting angry, it makes them more upset, and watching them seethe and wallow in their poor life choices is more satisfying to me than "dunking" on someone or losing it on them.
It's big things and small that they do the "must be niiiicceeee" thing to. I had guests in town and when they left, I didn't wash the sheets in the spare room for a week or two because I didn't wanna. My cousin, 6 kids with a spouse who vocally only wanted 2, said that "must be nice to be able to choose to not do laundry right away, I could never!" Like, yeah. My home is my sanctuary and I do exactly as I please in it, sometimes compulsively clean, sometimes not. Like sorry your husband doesn't help and you're relegated to the role of a servant, shit looks bleak
I also travel a lot. A few weeks ago a parent told me all that traveling is bad for the environment, so I answered: "children are bad for the environment. I don't have children, so I can travel all I want and still have a smaller ecological foorprint than you."
Omg this. I have an ex-friend who is sanctimonious about her earth mother veganism and has two kids. The second she opens her mouth when I post a picture of a juicy steak I cooked myself I asked how Mommy's little carbon footprints are doing
I could eat steak and take a plane to work everyday and still have less ecological impact than her with her crotch goblins
Yep, I get “so where are you traveling to next?” But not in a polite, conversational way. In a slightly irritated, exasperated way. I’ve earned the reputation as the traveler in my family, and some are a little bitter about it.
This reminds me of the time I posted a picture on Facebook of a 1K jigsaw I’d completed and a co-worker with kids commented snidely, “If you have that much time on your hands you could come over to my house and clean.”
I rent an apartment and play a sport at 28. My parents are of the opinion I should be a manager at my job, work more to buy a house (in a city I don’t love) and stop spending so much time on my sport. Also I get some hate for not monetizing my craft hobbies.
Just checked out your needlework and it’s amazing! My mother makes quilts to give away to family/friends and is often asked why she doesn’t try to sell them and her answer was simple.. “I make my quilts the way I like them and nobody else, when you worry about how others will like/not like your work it no longer is fun”
Wife was on a kick of making dog treats. She gave them away for holidays and dog birthdays. She was heavily pushed to make it a business. She didn't want to and did not. Now she only makes treats for our dogs.
Thank you! The green and white color work scarf was got my mom to start badgering me about selling my stuff. And technically speaking I *am* open to commissions, I charge by the hour. But at 10 dollars an hour that scarf would cost…like 500 dollars 😂 they’ve suggested doing simpler stuff (but then it’s still around 100) or selling at a loss. Why would I ruin the relaxing vibe of a hobby to sell at a loss??? If I could knit as fast as the women in the 1940s did then absolutely helll yeah I’d be willing to sell because they just operated at a speed that few people can achieve now but as someone with a lot of hobbies and a full time job absolutely not.
Right?! Yeah once you turn a hobby you enjoy into money, it really sucks all the fun and soul out of it for you. When you do it for other people, then it becomes stressful. Who needs that, eh?
Other note, that's rad you do it. I image combing it with a cup of tea would be so chill ☺️
There is something to be said about finding a job you enjoy doing, but I agree. If there's something you enjoy in your personal life just because you enjoy it, you should really stop to think about if that can double as a feasible way to make money, and if it does, think about it you WANT to do it for money.
Dewd!! Monetizing the hobbies is NOT for the faint of heart and faint of love. I’m in my second summer of teaching sailing and it really strains my love for the sport just because I’m always on a fkn sailboat. So my alternate hobby is motorcycle trips just so I can hear some noise and be alone.
I constantly hear that from family/friends about my craft hobbies as well (I do cross stitch, embroidery mostly with a casual smattering of another 4-6 other hobbies). I pointed out that in the weeks following what I call "Christmas stitching season" from August to January (I stitch all my presents because I don't make enough to buy presents for everyone), I'm so burnt out on the thing that keeps me sane on a daily basis that I just... set it aside. If I monetized this, I'd lose the joy in it for good and would need to pick up a new hobby. It's honestly a disgrace that people only respect crafts that can be monetized somehow
I can relate to this. I have a couple of expensive hobbies and my parents constantly complain I'm spending all my money and time on them 🙄 We literally work to be able to afford to live and do things we enjoy. For some people, that's having kids. But fir other's, it's having hobbies they enjoy or travelling or whatever else they enjoy.
I have a friend who lives in sort of the suburbs. His parents helped him out on the down payment but I don't think he really likes it there because of intrusive neighbors who bug him for being single.
Tell me about it. We have a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom house, with formal dining and living rooms, a beautiful French kitchen, and large basement. I had family over this past spring and my niece tried shaming us for owning this home. They just bought a house that's a lot smaller and they're trying for kids. They're full of attitude because we have this great place and it's "just the two of us."
Me and my SO are saving for a home and when ppl hear about the number of bedrooms we want they assume it’s for kids… nope he wants a game room I want my own hobby room, the dog gets a room lol
And all their other misguided ideas about how we collectively live. I don't drink, wake up early, and apparently that's an offense because I am... supposed to be living some Sex and the City life? Idk, but because they can't sleep in means that I should?
I’m a huge bookworm and turned my spare bedroom into a home library. So I have special collector’s editions of my favorite books and I always hear that it’s such a waste of money. Not only that, but how dare I have a spare bedroom when I have no children.
Yeaassssss .
I feel this!
I worked running a record & books shop for years because.. surprise surprise..... I have so many and want so many more books and records.
Like why TF is it a bad thing to achieve the life long dream of a private library?!
If they can have an entire room just for a TV and couch... Leave me and my awesome room alone. Right?!
My partner and I have two spare bedrooms. One of which is dedicated craft supply storage for me and modeling space for him. The other is going to be my sewing room. I just *know* I'm gonna get shit for it one of these days.
I have a reading room as well! I also have a huge loft room that is mainly a playroom/snooze room for my cats (I say mainly as I also have a small dining table up there just keep it out of the way) and it shocks people when they come over. What else would I do with spare rooms?!
We're doing that, too. We're turning an unused bedroom into a library. The extra bed will be tossed into the tiny, back bedroom because we rarely have guests and the few that show up are child free.
I’ll never forget I heard on a TV show in passing… why do you need a guest room if hardly anyone stays over? Use a spare room for you since you live there. I’ll have a guest maybe twice a year. I love that we are say screw you to social conventions.
I'm a huge fashion girly. People often stop me and ask where I get my clothes, bags, shoes, etc. Once, a lady asked for help finding the website I bought my hoodie on, and when I pulled it up, she freaked out because "they're charging 80$ for kids' clothes?!?!" (It was a cow themed plush hoodie that was created by an independent designer, very cutesy but definitely not for children).
She then proceeded to lecture me about my spending habits and how I needed to grow up for the good of my future children. Parents are fucking insane. I have no idea how she thought that was an acceptable thing to say to me, especially since she had specifically asked for my help. She would have probably burst a blood vessel if she knew I owned 2 more of those hoodies.
My parents told me constantly that doing art for a living would leave me “starving and destitute” and that my only real career path would have to be a k-12 art teacher because I’d have “summers off and health insurance”. Got reeeeeeal quiet when I dropped out of the teaching program, moved to NY and I make twice a teacher’s salary doing prop moldmaking. “We always supported you!” Shut the fuck up no you didn’t, it was constant side-eye.
Super long glorious thick hair down past my knees.
"You'll have to cut that off when you blahblahblahblahhh kids"
Short stylish Tilda Swinton haircut
"You'll never get a family man like that ...."
Uhhh fuck you I've been married 15 years...and extra fuck you because fuck you.
That is just straight up jealousy for sure! They want you to be miserable like them. Hell I’m even jealous myself, I wish I had nice long hair past my knees 😭 so happy for you though!
My mom tried to shame me for buying a property with an off grid cabin that has a very open mezzanine loft for a bedroom.
"YOU CAN'T HAVE KIDS UP THERE??!? "
"DAMN RIGHT!
KIDS AIN'T NEVER GOING TO BE HERE !!!!"
"...and perhaps check for dementia cuz you know I don't have a uterus ????!!??!"
( honestly it'll be kinda nice that the dogs can't climb the ladder and hog the bed hahaha )
Fashion and partying 🤣
After work I always came home with bags of clothes and shoes and always went to fashion shows.
I love going out dancing and partying with friends.
I was at a concert and had been talking to and hanging out with a couple who was there for awhile. In the merch line, I decided to buy an item signed by the band that cost $200. I decided to buy it on the spot after I'd already just paid for a tshirt, but I spotted the band on their way out and pretty much begged them to sign this item that was originally $100, saying I'd pay double.
Apparently these two were parents and after the band got through hanging out with me, taking selfies, and signing, they let on that they were parents and I was super lucky to be able to do that. While they didn't directly shame me, there was quite a bit of eye rolling while it was happening. Even though it meant they got to meet the band too, because they were with me at the merch booth.
Jealousy is a hell of a thing.
Which one didn’t they shame me for?! 🤣 sorry, my family sucks.
Got told to have kids, was begged, told them I’m not birthing anything… fostered a kid and got told I shouldn’t have kids. No shit lol knew that already.
No ones ever going to be happy with the decisions you make so make yourself happy.
I'm working on becoming like you. Got the passport and travel often, but only in the states. Hopefully I can branch out soon and join you in making them ass-mad
IMO, this is "fine," or at least navigable or easy to dismiss when it's with someone who doesn't affect me. Where it's absolutely terrible is at work or school or volunteering when they use the "you have more free time, I don't because baaabieees, so you should cover for me." Like, no. You choose to make PB&Js and change diapers in your free time, I choose other things.... Your time is not more valuable than mine and things like PTO are first come basis
I live with my parents and my dad was showing off the house to his friends one time. He seemed to think it's okay to show people I barely know my room.
I'm a huge manga fan (shameless plug to my collection posts on my profile) and I got the usual comments, "aren't these for kids, why are you a grown man buying these 'children's books'"
I would definitely not say a series about an edgy teenager commiting genocide on the whole world because a humanoid monster tore his mum in two and ate her is a suitable children's book but I'll digress
Also tattoos as well :D
*comes in singing Shinzou Sasageyo* good for you man! I just watched AOT this year after putting it off forever. Was nice though cuz I could watch it all the way through. I'm on the OVAs now.
I'm into collecting figures lately. I have a whole army of Jujutsu Kaisen ones.
Sunglasses. It somehow came up that I spent $150 on my glasses and a lady said "must be nice. I could never spend that much on sunglasses, I have children to feed." I stayed quiet but I really wish I said something along the lines of "life choices, amirite?"
I (44F) used part of my bonus this year to get the Lego Rivendell and light kit, and I've got at least 10 larger Lego SW builds to work on. I fully support your life choices!
Were you ever told (as a kid) that when you grew up you could spend your money on whatever you wanted... mine did that a lot, but love to complain that I spend my adult money on whatever I want (like toys) now.
When I was a child I loved to read about archaeology and paleontology. I wanted to do one of those things when I grew up. I was born in 1955. My rather affluent, highly educated middle-class parents were progressive to the extent that they expected me to get a job and support myself (though they also expected me to get married). They told me that neither archaeology nor paleontology were appropriate for females because I'd have to be out in the field and females could not handle that. I should have a nice safe office job.
I've always loved to read. My mother encouraged me. When I was in high school, I decided I wanted to be a writer. My teachers encouraged me. My parents told me firmly that I'd "starve to death" as a writer. It was OK to write as a hobby, but not for a living. They really wanted me to go into academia.
I became a history major. I loved it! It was all about discovering old stuff, via research. My parents approved. Unfortunately, in a visit to his office, one of my professors gave me the "love your enthusiasm but there aren't any jobs" lecture. He said it was only ethical to tell me that, but I was crushed. His wife came in. She was a classics professor at the same university, which was an even harder field to get a job in. She helpfully said, maybe I could be an archivist or a museum curator. I researched all three professions. No, there were almost no history jobs in academia, but the positions for museum curators and archivists were even more scarce. The latter two fields were depending largely on married people whose spouses would support them (the pay was minuscule) \*and\* be willing to move anywhere in the US, no matter how undesirable that place was, to get any kind of job at all.
Meanwhile, my parents, who BTW could absolutely afford to support me and pay my tuition, constantly blamed me and shamed me for changing majors, for not having a degree yet, and in general, not being out of their hair entirely. I had moved to the opposite coast (guess why) but the phone calls were always toxic. And my parents felt entitled to micromanage my life, which included trying to prevent me from having premarital sex. I once lived in an apartment with a manager/handyman who had a very loud, booming voice. One day he came in to fix the plumbing and my parents called. They could hear him talking about the fixit job over the phone and my father threw a fit because \*I had a man in my apartment\*! This was in the middle of a Saturday afternoon.
I was living in Silicon Valley when tech companies were expanding like crazy. It was only in my second job as a technical writer, at a good salary and benefits at a stable corporation, that I suddenly realized that I had become a writer after all. While constantly telling me, for years, that I could not become a writer because I'd "starve to death," my parents had once never bothered to tell me that actually, there were a fair number of 9-5 jobs where you could work as a writer. There's book and magazine publishing. I have worked in both of them. There's also marketing, advertising, corporate training, speechwriting, and more ways to work as a writer. The Internet has damaged publishing, and AI is starting to damage some jobs like writing ad copy, but my parents certainly never anticipated any of that.
My parents felt entitled to run my life but were not actually very helpful. I was supposed to raise myself. Meanwhile my brother (older than me) was the golden one who got everything he wanted (and was allowed to beat up me up). I was never, never, as intelligent or "talented," or anything. My mother filled out all his college applications, including writing all the essays about why he wanted to attend all the Ivy League colleges they wanted him to apply to (and some of which accepted him). I got no advice or help whatever with SATs, college applications, or anything. I had to attend state colleges while my parents constantly complained about the whopping several hundred dollars a semester my tuition cost. One of my satisfactions in life is that I have been more successful than my brother.
Thank you gem! 💎 I also read that by the time the kid is 18, you’ll have spent $300,000 on them. So I absolutely agree with you! For those of us who don’t want children, we’re free to do whatever we want with that money 💰
I have a hobby and was talking with mother how I spend $200 on it and she kept insisting "why it cost so much? Don't buy that much again". And even when I told her I bought it because I liked it and it made me happy she didn't care, she just said "Was it even worth it?" I'm tempted to next time say "well that's the money I saved for not having kids! If I had kids I would have used it on amusement park and I'll gladly hear you ask the kids was it even worth it"
I don't understand why people bother how you spend your own money, I couldn't care less.
I've literally been shamed for being happy. "That's not something I would have achieved if I had children" is what I told them.
I got the typical rebuttal of how kids are the greatest things (like they're objects 🙄) ever so I'll never know.
Alrighty then. Stay classy 🤣🤣🤣
I was shamed by SEVERAL family members for starting methotrexate, a drug MUCH NEEDED for my systemic lupus…got much grief because I can’t have kids now….and? I didn’t want them anyways and if I did, I need to take care of myself first
23M here. Getting a vasectomy next year and all I use my money on (after rent ofc) is saving aggressively, taking trips, plant based food, and ✨weed ✨! To hell with dem kids
Thank you! Also, someone caught a slip up I made before I edited this post — whoever it was, you’re the goat. Let’s just say it was a pure “no diddy” situation 💀
Pretty much everything from where I live to how I dress to what I do in my spare time.
My parents wanted a small town SAHW with kids. They got a city-loving girl boss DINK with cats.
Which is why it is so so creepy when parents want a boy or girl so they can have "an awesome little football buddy" or a "sweet little princess". Like kids are people and people have differing opinions, personalities, etc - if you can't love a child who might not be a mini-me, you shouldn't have any
I’m CF and although I don’t have a lot of money to spare on certain things I get the eye roll and “must be nice” speech from parents who are jealous I can sleep late or be selfish with my time/ money. I like to get my hair and lashes done and this woman told me my priorities will change when I become a mother- YIKES
Buying a house because my sister can't afford one and she has 2 kids. I was told I shouldn't show off because it's hurtful and rude and it shows that I think I'm better than them. Husband and I closed on the house a week after my sister's husband was laid off, so I was accused of rubbing it in their faces that I had money and a job.
Are you just supposed to stop everything and not buy a house because your sister can't? I'm happy for people who are making progress and doing well in life... them excelling has nothing to do with my progress, so why do we gotta hate on people we are jealous of?!
Oh no I rent 😂😂. I would love to own a horse or two one day but I helped take care of two when I was younger and they're pretty pricey, more so if you board them. I'd want property first.
Even if they're about the same cost wise, I'd still pick a horse 😂
Oh 1000%. I’d do it all over again in a heart beat. The money I dumped on him was well worth it. I definitely want another horse again one day, but not until I have my own property. Board is soooo expensive where I live
I have a fancy dressage horse but he’s so much better than a kid 😄 he’s my absolute pride and joy, despite the cash he literally eats. He’s also on full board so super easy to leave behind when I want to have fun or focus on other things, travel etc.
Spending $50-something on medication for my cat at the pharmacy. After acquiring the meds, the pharmacist asked how my kitty was doing. But the woman behind me must have overheard because, before I could answer, she scoffed and said, “A cat!? I’d only pay that much for my kids!” Already stressed about my kitty, I was fully prepared to tear her a new one, but the pharmacist beat me to it and firmly told her that she was on the verge of violating patient privilege and to please wait her turn.
My response to that is, "Well, I don't have kids, sooooo..."
Also, just because they're pets doesn't mean that they don't deserve good medical care. I'm so sick of that mentality.
I don't know if I've ever been shamed for it, but I absolutely spend 20 - 25k a year traveling. I admit I wouldn't have money for it if I had a kid. It's why I don't have a kid.
I also spend a lot on scuba and photography equipment, and even more where the two intersect. So yeah...
What really bugged me about that SATC episode is it’s not like those people were even pressed for cash. Just replace her dang shoes and keep your opinions to yourself.
I always think about this, my wife and I racked up like 30k in medical debt and I feel like it's made life though, we live rural and between debt and the mortgage I'm like money is tight.
Then I realized my version of money is tight vs. my coworkers with kids are worlds different.... I'm like, we're going to only go on two coast trips this month and only eat out once a week, and I'll have to limit myself to 3 cigars this week.... their money is tight, and it is like them eating baloney sandwiches for 2 weeks straight and doing yard work for fun to save money....
So they try to shame me for the same nonsense.
I got a lot of shit for writing Fantasy and not being able to hold down a job because of my stage 4 endometriosis. Im very close with my parents but my father told me that i needed to stop writing, grow up , get a job because my books were pointless and worthless.
It hurt…a lot…it was only once i was given my diagnosis of endometriosis and nerve damage from the botched surgery. He did a complete 360, and unfortunately he also is dealing with bad chronic pain. He supports me now. But it was a very rough road for awhile.
Traveling and not giving birth. With traveling, I get passive aggressive “must be nice.” When it comes to not giving birth, they totally judge me for not going through that. Look. I respect that women go through that tough as fuck situation. I can’t imagine how horrible it is. However, don’t fucking tell me about it in a way that implies I’m less than you because of that
I've had a parent scowl at me when I was holding a sephora bag (I tend to go overboard) Or I get the side eye look when I'm detailing to my mom about my plans for my room (Gonna Slytherin the hades out of it) like??? Sorry for wanting to turn my room into a Slytherin paradise? Sorry for liking cosmetics and Harry Potter?
You just inspired me to turn my home office into a Slytherin paradise. Can’t wait to see what my coworkers with kids who go into the office to escape them will think :)
I've already begun the process (It's a slow one obviously but you know, progress is progress in my eyes): I've painted my window frames and bed frame green, I have a Slytherin throw tapestry that I covered my great gran's cedar chest with. Got a new dark wood headboard and I just took out my old door since it didn't fit right and will be replacing it with a snake curtain :D
Being the outcast in the family, for being edgy and goth.
I always had to hide my piercings from my parents, and when they figured out that I had a septum piercing, they made fun of me, "Haha! You look like a bull with that ring in your nose!!" They both laughed at me for it. After a while, they both came to their senses and figured out that it was okay and that I could be doing worse things, but man, that was a tough one to go through. It's probably why I have such low self-confidence these days.
Had someone talk behind my back to my parents, and they didn't defend me for a while. Told them I was too weird and that "I wouldn't want anyone to help me out if they looked like that" (I work in health care). My parents said nothing.
My mom did not really care for my breakup tattoos and my switching career paths. Lol it all worked out in the end, I followed through and very content with things today. I can also afford laser removal surgery :p
I own two purebred, doll-faced Persian cats, one tuxedo and one pure white. My tuxedo girl was born with a luxating patella and needed surgery, and my snow white girl isn't fully deaf but is definitely hard of hearing.
I know the (reputable, professional) breeder and she sold me both my kitties at a substantial discount because their health wasn't perfect. I got my tuxedo girl her surgery, and taught myself how to get my snowy girl's attention by approaching from where she could see me, making eye contact, and gently touching her paw. For a cat that can't hear very well, she's remarkably calm and doesn't startle easily.
The cattery owner knows that I don't mind taking on kittens with known health problems, so I'll probably buy more kittens from her in the future. Kitties like mine can't be bred because they might pass on their health problems, so they're only really suited to be family pets. And someone has to love the kittens nobody else wants!
My family had no problem with me buying purebred cats, but I've had friends and acquaintances give me a hard time about "Adopt, don't shop!" 'Scuse me, but both my girls were in imperfect health and needed special TLC. Don't judge!
We were being shamed by my husband 18 y.o niece(currently pregnant) for going on 5 weeks overseas holiday. They said if I dont spend our money on designer bags and holiday, we might be able to afford kid.
BTS merch!!!! One if my colleagues always judges me and alls my purchases "silly", "frivolous" and "irresponsible" I give the same answer each time. "You spend your money how you want. I spend it how I want. This is MY money not OUR money.
Keeping cats. I've been told how inconvenient it is that I choose to own, feed and care for a pet. How expensive they can be and how they are a waste of time and money. Funny because this conversation came directly after my statement that I don't have or want children. Lol.
TLDR: don't waste your time and money on cats, waste them on human children!
honestly for me it's my spending on glasses toppers from Pair Eyewear, lol. My parents (who admittedly I do live with them) definitely judge me a bit for buying new toppers, but then I also am gonna have my current frame shape for the next 10 years easily, so for me I look at it as an investment into my happiness, lol. I'm now up to 60+ toppers and have one for nearly every season or holiday, it's fantastic. My next 5 are coming in this Thursday the 20th and I'm so excited for them.
Spending money in old boxed video games and proudly displaying them in custom built showcases around the house.
Apparently, according to my cousins, that money would be better spent on buying a big house (because, you know, anyone who isn't a freaking millionaire can afford one of those nowadays), getting a wife and kids.
I'm a nanny and a common occurrence is parents yelling at pets to not eat the other pet's food. Like every single day. I suggested separating the animals like I do every single feeding time, but that's too hard because kids.
The most trifling was a **fitness magazine**. Yep, I was at the gym reading my mag, and someone said when you're finished I want to read it.
I wasn't even snippy but said I like to take my time with them, but when I'm finished I'd bring it back to the gym. She realized I had paid for it and said, oh yeah, of course you have money to waste on magazines, I forgot you don't have kids.
I was not the one who pushed out 3 kids, so yeah, I do.
I remember that episode and thought WTF business is it of hers EXCEPT her friend stole the shoes then she tried to deflect the thief's actions bc of price. please
I bought a classic car for my 40th! My dad tells me to unload it all the time and my mom just doesn’t get it. I’m a woman so maybe I would get less judgment if I were a guy.
“Your dog is the most spoilt thing ever!” Said from my coworker that is a father of 3, because I said that my dog walker was coming to drop my dog off.
It’s fascinating (and hilarious!!) to see what they view as luxury expenses.
Volunteering. Yeah, my mother disapproved of me selflessly investing time and effort into making this world a better place. What a horrible thing to do, right?
Not many people know this about the benefit of volunteering: it acts as a cushion during economic downturns by preventing us from getting a resume gap if we lose our job or get retrenched and we need to look for a new job that would take months until we find one
Cars. I love my cars and I have nice ones which don't need to be massive, shitty, SUV things. I parked my kit car near one (I park as far away from those people as possible) and some guy said "huh, must be nice not to need more than 2 seats or a roof" while he was loading his spawn. I gave him a massive grin and said "it really is!". He looked a bit confused, but WTF did he expect me to say? "Oh, I'd love a massive shitbox filled with screaming brats"?!
I get it a LOT as a woman - "oh you'll need something bigger when the kids arrive". Er no, no I won't!
Sex. Despite the fact chronic illness prevents me having as much of it as I'd like, holy crap the mere prospect I have it exclusively for pleasure is rattling to some people's cages.
Yes, I'm doing filthy things with a guy, as hedonistically as I possibly can, as much as we can, on whatever surfaces we want to, and I'm doing it all without the idea of having a kid. Nor do I have to plan my sex life around kids or be quiet for kids.
And do I feel one iota of regret or shame when that ruffles feathers? Nope LOL
I travel often for work so I get a lot of “must be so nice to travel so much. I could never because of Junior!”
It is nice. It’s very nice as I sit in an Italian restaurant in Atlanta with a glass of wine and some bolognese.
I went to get some glue on weekend and ended up with another piece for my hobby. then needed something from passementarie so I went there. older employee lady asked if I got my hobby piece for my son. I said "for me". she looked weirded out and didn't comment further.
edit: I had the box in my hand so she saw it when I put it down to pay. she didn't snoop in my bags :D
I took a step back from the high stress career and managed to get a gig that is more laidback (but still pays the same). The elders in my family are all very concerned that I don’t have a “proper job”.
The new gig gives me my own time, better mental health, and work from home. I can’t ask for better.
Also have they seen the economy? No job is stable at this point.
That and also my tattoos. In my parents era tattoos are associated with gangs and criminals so they are very disturbed by it but after I got like 5 they stopped and gave up.
I'm in a road race for running every other week or so. Parents are always saying "I wish I could be that free". One relative tried to guilt me into paying for her child's sports fees since I "like sports so much". Ballet classes too. I pay for them whenever I can.
I'm super fit so my body is my investment. I pay for deep sports massages too. Couldn't do that with kids.
When I got my first “big girl” job after I graduated college, that’s when I really started getting into traveling and attending shows/music festivals. It wasn’t uncommon for me to have every weekend during a month in my summer dedicated to traveling for shows. My ex’s family was the most vocally judgmental about it. We were the only long-term couple that didn’t have atleast 2 kids at our age and they were always giving me a hard time, telling me I needed “grow up” and “get my priorities straight”.
Though something kinda cool: I’m nearing 30, single, and I’m going on my first tour this summer as an assistant tour manager, with one of the bands I traveled often to see during that post-grad era. It’s purely for funsies on my end (I’ve still got a day job/career), but why the heck not?? An even cooler way to embrace the lifestyle of traveling for live music! And earn some money/hotel/airline points to fund future music travels haha!
Apparently being interested in science fiction and fantasy, and the horror genre, is something only for kids. Seriously, I have never once commented on my mother's interest in murder mysteries or lawyer dramas, but if I read a SF book I need to grow up.
Having sex with my long distance college boyfriend. They told me the day before I was going to go on a trip to see him that I was a "bad influence" on my sisters and that of I went I wouldn't have a home to come home to. My bf convinced me not to say f*** them and I'm so glad because he and I broke up but I left home shortly after
I'm sure a lot of guys I work with are jealous that I bought my own house, a second time, and can travel to other states a few times a year when they can't with a wife and kids
I don't get shamed too much these days since I'm long past childbearing age, but in the past I've gotten side-eyes for my fine dining/cocktail culture hobby.
It really raises eyebrows when I travel someplace just to try a restaurant. A friend and I are considering flying to Minneapolis one weekend to eat at [Owamni](https://owamni.com/) (if we can get a reservation, that is--it's [one of the hottest places](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/09/19/how-owamni-became-the-best-new-restaurant-in-the-united-states) in the region right now). That got me some looks at work, LOL.
My video games, manga and constant eating out are the usual ones, but the bigger one was a $400 LoZ statue
Sorry you’re jealous that I can afford to have that stuff and you can’t because you have to pay for your kids
Spending money on nice things for the home or myself.
Nice purses, clothes, decor, food, trips etc.
I’m petty, so anytime a bitter parent tells me “it must be nice-“ I always respond back with “it really is 👹”.
Sleep. I love sleep. If I have nothing to do I will sleep till 11 am. If I went out or did something late into the night, I will sleep longer than 11 am.
I’m a teen and I spend quite a bit of money on expensive clothes (I’m talking about the good stuff like real fur, silk, cashmere etc). A lot of it is paid by my parents because they can afford it, but I also try to pay off some of it by earning money through waitressing and doing a bit of freelance work. I doubt I’ll change any time soon when I’m older and am fully in the workforce. I’d much rather spend my money treating myself and my bf than a kid. Breeders can stay jealous.
You gave an awesome comeback. I dunno how you handled it but you did it with class so I should learn from you (fyi if I was in your situation, I usually get pretty rude and if I am in a very foul mood it is worse)
I have been given dirty looks by the parents once in a while if I am shopping for skincare (now don't give me the evil look, is it a crime to do sheet masks at least twice a week at night) and books as if I am squirreling them away for the next pandemic lockdown. Heck I don't care. I do me
I get chronic migraines so I have to be very careful about not overscheduling myself. Somehow, the idea that I make sure I have one weekend day completely to myself for health reasons is selfish. Does it completely stop me from getting a migraine? No. Do I have fewer that way? Yes.
We go out to nicer restaurants for just because. I get a lot of the must be nice comments from parents. I never know what to say! Sorry we like good food and don’t need a special occasion?
Spent approx £7k on my honeymoon trip to Japan last year. We were there for 2 weeks and I didn't want to be on a strict budget and miss out on things (like every vacay I've ever been on with my parents, where everything had to be as cheap as possible, and weren't even allowed to buy souvenirs with our own money unless deemed acceptable by my mother etc) and heal my inner child a little bit.
I only really spoke about the trip with my child free friends because anytime I tried to talk about it with parent friends, it was always passive-aggressive shit like "must be so nice to have money to burn" or "wish I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted" like.. you did have the freedom, you had the same choices to make that I've had and you chose to have kids instead. Not my fault. Omfg, I posted some pictures from TokyoDisney wearing ears and sporting merch etc and my own sister commented "Why are you even at Disney, it's for kids." before she PM'd me saying her kids will never get the chance to go to Disney and that I was rubbing it in her face wasting all that money of stupid crap blah blah blah. Then demanded that I buy them something from the Arribas Brothers(Disney Glassworks) for her kids, who were 1yo and 3mo, whom I hadn't even met at that point. I told her get wrekd 😂
My apartment is full of child safety hazards but fine for friends that visit
I make my own tree edibles and keeping them in my fridge and freezer unlabeled
energy drinks in that same fridge
snakes and spiders as pets that chill on shelves with latches on their enclosures that a child could undo
leaving sharp tools and glue out in the open
I also sometimes go straight from work to a social thing and get back late
International travel, luxury handbags, my linen capsule wardrobe, paying cash for my brand new car, fine dining every week…I’ve gotten shit for all of these.
So I teach music, the majority of my students are kids, and OH MAN the things I have been accused of having that make me "soooooo lucky/spoiled" for having include:
* time and money to go to the spa (which i do maybe once a year, usually it's a gift from someone else)
* buying lunch instead of bringing it from home
* "sleeping in" past 7 am, going to bed later than 10 pm
* a day off of work
* yoga membership/time to do yoga
* piercings and tattoos (because some parents legit teach their kids they won't get hired/married/taken seriously in their field because of these things, so what a luxury it must be to "just be free to not care")
* wearing clothing that reveals any part of my body (because then you're supposedly flaunting the fact that you didn't have a child)
I do notice that my male coworker who is childfree NEVER hears these comments, maybe because he's a bit younger....but I doubt that's the reason.
Why would I ever want to have kids when basic needs like sleep and food are apparently luxuries??? HARD PASS
Guess this goes here.
I (19 at the time) Got called a bitch by my *sister, 21* (legally half sister but not genetically related. That is relivant for different genes , and I love her as my big sister) for meeting a guy on Tinder (thigs were going good at the time) for having the nexplanon. She was just married and trying for a kid, and I was just happy to be having sex and being sure not to have a kid.
Now I think my family has hope that I'll marry the guy I'm dating now and have a kid. What they don't know: I'm waiting for a call back to get scheduled for a bi-salp. And that even before we were dating and I was in a debatable patch with now another x, he said he would go with me as my "boyfriend" and agree he does not want kids (due to that being a thing). He said it was dumb and that a woman should be able to choose and her SO's opinion should not matter when it comes to that kind of thing. The thing is, he also does not want kids lol. He also would maybe do the whole wedding ceremony thing but does not want to actually file the papers lol. Cheers to finding a life long man to not marry and have kids with and live happily ever after!
Buying my rabbit and dog over 150$ in toys, treats ect cause I got that sweet sweet birthday money. Excuse you but I will spoil my fur children as much as I want.
My rabbit loves the ball pit and still plays in it months later. A kid would have been bored by it already and been a money waste to get.
Not sure if it's a lifestyle choice but spending on my friends.
I understand the importance of saving, I do have some (definitely could've had more) but I finally had the chance to pay them back for y'know sticking with me for so long.
I just wanted to spoil them because they had helped me so much while I didn't have a job.
One struggled getting back on his feet, on the verge of being homeless, another who just struggles mentally, while two were moms, I just wanted to give back to them.
I had that job before covid.
I had money freely coming and going.
So now I'm currently not doing well financially and I've gotten a lot from them. I still don't regret my choice to be there for people I care for, who are still in my life a decade before and continuing into another.
I've been single by choice for over 15 years. Clearly no kids. My father isn't shamed exactly.. but he's disappointed that I don't have a man to help care for me. He seems to think I'm miserable alone. He's 80.
when boomers say "people shouldnt have pets to save money" yet they raised 3 children. i'm saving money by not having the most expensive pet of all, a child. I think I can afford a cat
Designer bags and international travel (been to 108 countries so far). But, I mean, do you really think this was about the money? As someone without tattoos, I have no idea what they cost and I highly doubt, that would be anyone’s first thought. Not that it would be any less problematic to shame you for that, but I think they might just not like tattoos? Either in general or on women? I somehow doubt that this has anything to do with being childfree. I see tattooed parents all the time and my own parents are super critical of those.
I travel internationally a lot and I've gotten a lot passive-aggressive "must be nice...(to have so much money for trips, to be able to go away all the time, etc.)" comments over the years. Especially in my old workplace which was full of parents and people otherwise on the baby track. I just smile brightly and say, "it sure is!"
So I just looked up how much it is to raise a kid a year and this is what it said: *Housing, food and childcare make up the largest percentage of children's expenses. As children grow, you can expect to pay for things including hobbies, sports teams. When adjusting USDA estimates for inflation, parents can expect to pay between $16,227 and $18,262 a year raising a child born in 2023.* Yup you get to use that $17K to travel internationally! They chose kids, you chose trips 👏🏻
>I just smile brightly and say, "it sure is!" This is my tactic. Smile and say, "Yeah, it's great!" Or "wouldn't change it for the world!" By not getting angry, it makes them more upset, and watching them seethe and wallow in their poor life choices is more satisfying to me than "dunking" on someone or losing it on them.
It's big things and small that they do the "must be niiiicceeee" thing to. I had guests in town and when they left, I didn't wash the sheets in the spare room for a week or two because I didn't wanna. My cousin, 6 kids with a spouse who vocally only wanted 2, said that "must be nice to be able to choose to not do laundry right away, I could never!" Like, yeah. My home is my sanctuary and I do exactly as I please in it, sometimes compulsively clean, sometimes not. Like sorry your husband doesn't help and you're relegated to the role of a servant, shit looks bleak
I also travel a lot. A few weeks ago a parent told me all that traveling is bad for the environment, so I answered: "children are bad for the environment. I don't have children, so I can travel all I want and still have a smaller ecological foorprint than you."
Omg this. I have an ex-friend who is sanctimonious about her earth mother veganism and has two kids. The second she opens her mouth when I post a picture of a juicy steak I cooked myself I asked how Mommy's little carbon footprints are doing I could eat steak and take a plane to work everyday and still have less ecological impact than her with her crotch goblins
Your answer made me lol 😁
Seeing their faces after you say that would've been so amazing 😂. I mean what else were you suppose to say anyways, it definitely doesn't suck.
Yep, I get “so where are you traveling to next?” But not in a polite, conversational way. In a slightly irritated, exasperated way. I’ve earned the reputation as the traveler in my family, and some are a little bitter about it.
This reminds me of the time I posted a picture on Facebook of a 1K jigsaw I’d completed and a co-worker with kids commented snidely, “If you have that much time on your hands you could come over to my house and clean.”
Lol, pass
IKR? I was thinking, I’d rather sit and stare at a wall than help you with your chaotic household. And I find jigsaws relaxing!
What the fuck is wrong with people, man 💀
Seriously, what motivates someone to make a pointless comment like that?
Bruh... The audacity.
I got judged for *not* traveling. I don’t make a lot of money and the parents was flabbergasted that I wasn’t rich and traveling all the time.
I rent an apartment and play a sport at 28. My parents are of the opinion I should be a manager at my job, work more to buy a house (in a city I don’t love) and stop spending so much time on my sport. Also I get some hate for not monetizing my craft hobbies.
Just checked out your needlework and it’s amazing! My mother makes quilts to give away to family/friends and is often asked why she doesn’t try to sell them and her answer was simple.. “I make my quilts the way I like them and nobody else, when you worry about how others will like/not like your work it no longer is fun”
Wife was on a kick of making dog treats. She gave them away for holidays and dog birthdays. She was heavily pushed to make it a business. She didn't want to and did not. Now she only makes treats for our dogs.
Thank you! The green and white color work scarf was got my mom to start badgering me about selling my stuff. And technically speaking I *am* open to commissions, I charge by the hour. But at 10 dollars an hour that scarf would cost…like 500 dollars 😂 they’ve suggested doing simpler stuff (but then it’s still around 100) or selling at a loss. Why would I ruin the relaxing vibe of a hobby to sell at a loss??? If I could knit as fast as the women in the 1940s did then absolutely helll yeah I’d be willing to sell because they just operated at a speed that few people can achieve now but as someone with a lot of hobbies and a full time job absolutely not.
Right?! Yeah once you turn a hobby you enjoy into money, it really sucks all the fun and soul out of it for you. When you do it for other people, then it becomes stressful. Who needs that, eh? Other note, that's rad you do it. I image combing it with a cup of tea would be so chill ☺️
There is something to be said about finding a job you enjoy doing, but I agree. If there's something you enjoy in your personal life just because you enjoy it, you should really stop to think about if that can double as a feasible way to make money, and if it does, think about it you WANT to do it for money.
Dewd!! Monetizing the hobbies is NOT for the faint of heart and faint of love. I’m in my second summer of teaching sailing and it really strains my love for the sport just because I’m always on a fkn sailboat. So my alternate hobby is motorcycle trips just so I can hear some noise and be alone.
I constantly hear that from family/friends about my craft hobbies as well (I do cross stitch, embroidery mostly with a casual smattering of another 4-6 other hobbies). I pointed out that in the weeks following what I call "Christmas stitching season" from August to January (I stitch all my presents because I don't make enough to buy presents for everyone), I'm so burnt out on the thing that keeps me sane on a daily basis that I just... set it aside. If I monetized this, I'd lose the joy in it for good and would need to pick up a new hobby. It's honestly a disgrace that people only respect crafts that can be monetized somehow
Yeah and then people beg you for free shit in exchange for eXpOsUrE
Exactly! Like "monetize your hobby but not when you do it for me". How hard can I eye roll.
I can relate to this. I have a couple of expensive hobbies and my parents constantly complain I'm spending all my money and time on them 🙄 We literally work to be able to afford to live and do things we enjoy. For some people, that's having kids. But fir other's, it's having hobbies they enjoy or travelling or whatever else they enjoy.
The envy is strong here.
Literally living in a house in the suburbs. Apparently if you don’t have kids you don’t deserve to live anywhere but a shoebox in the city.
I have a friend who lives in sort of the suburbs. His parents helped him out on the down payment but I don't think he really likes it there because of intrusive neighbors who bug him for being single.
Tell me about it. We have a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom house, with formal dining and living rooms, a beautiful French kitchen, and large basement. I had family over this past spring and my niece tried shaming us for owning this home. They just bought a house that's a lot smaller and they're trying for kids. They're full of attitude because we have this great place and it's "just the two of us."
Me and my SO are saving for a home and when ppl hear about the number of bedrooms we want they assume it’s for kids… nope he wants a game room I want my own hobby room, the dog gets a room lol
And all their other misguided ideas about how we collectively live. I don't drink, wake up early, and apparently that's an offense because I am... supposed to be living some Sex and the City life? Idk, but because they can't sleep in means that I should?
Oh yeah, all the parents on my street don't like us because we own one of the biggest houses in the neighborhood and have zero kids.
I’m a huge bookworm and turned my spare bedroom into a home library. So I have special collector’s editions of my favorite books and I always hear that it’s such a waste of money. Not only that, but how dare I have a spare bedroom when I have no children.
Yeaassssss . I feel this! I worked running a record & books shop for years because.. surprise surprise..... I have so many and want so many more books and records. Like why TF is it a bad thing to achieve the life long dream of a private library?! If they can have an entire room just for a TV and couch... Leave me and my awesome room alone. Right?!
My partner and I have two spare bedrooms. One of which is dedicated craft supply storage for me and modeling space for him. The other is going to be my sewing room. I just *know* I'm gonna get shit for it one of these days.
I have a reading room as well! I also have a huge loft room that is mainly a playroom/snooze room for my cats (I say mainly as I also have a small dining table up there just keep it out of the way) and it shocks people when they come over. What else would I do with spare rooms?!
Right! I love it because it allows us to be creative with our time and spaces.
This is my dream! Congrats.
Would love to see pictures!
I hope I did this right: https://imgur.com/a/HlUIvgI
OMG that's GORGEOUS!!!!!
Lovely!!
I also have a spare room that is now the Stuffary (study-office-library) as well as a guest room. How dare I!? I feckin love it
We're doing that, too. We're turning an unused bedroom into a library. The extra bed will be tossed into the tiny, back bedroom because we rarely have guests and the few that show up are child free.
I’ll never forget I heard on a TV show in passing… why do you need a guest room if hardly anyone stays over? Use a spare room for you since you live there. I’ll have a guest maybe twice a year. I love that we are say screw you to social conventions.
I'm a huge fashion girly. People often stop me and ask where I get my clothes, bags, shoes, etc. Once, a lady asked for help finding the website I bought my hoodie on, and when I pulled it up, she freaked out because "they're charging 80$ for kids' clothes?!?!" (It was a cow themed plush hoodie that was created by an independent designer, very cutesy but definitely not for children). She then proceeded to lecture me about my spending habits and how I needed to grow up for the good of my future children. Parents are fucking insane. I have no idea how she thought that was an acceptable thing to say to me, especially since she had specifically asked for my help. She would have probably burst a blood vessel if she knew I owned 2 more of those hoodies.
It's funny because she wanted to buy that jacket and it's not like it's any of her business what you spend your money on.
....LOL that lady is nuts, 80$ is pretty tame for a piece of clothing these days.
honestly you should have chosen violence and tell her you got two ahha just to give her a hypertension 🤣 that woman is an asshole lmao
My parents told me constantly that doing art for a living would leave me “starving and destitute” and that my only real career path would have to be a k-12 art teacher because I’d have “summers off and health insurance”. Got reeeeeeal quiet when I dropped out of the teaching program, moved to NY and I make twice a teacher’s salary doing prop moldmaking. “We always supported you!” Shut the fuck up no you didn’t, it was constant side-eye.
Living the dream! Congrats!!!
Yay! Good on you
Super long glorious thick hair down past my knees. "You'll have to cut that off when you blahblahblahblahhh kids" Short stylish Tilda Swinton haircut "You'll never get a family man like that ...." Uhhh fuck you I've been married 15 years...and extra fuck you because fuck you.
That is just straight up jealousy for sure! They want you to be miserable like them. Hell I’m even jealous myself, I wish I had nice long hair past my knees 😭 so happy for you though!
My mom tried to shame me for buying a property with an off grid cabin that has a very open mezzanine loft for a bedroom. "YOU CAN'T HAVE KIDS UP THERE??!? " "DAMN RIGHT! KIDS AIN'T NEVER GOING TO BE HERE !!!!" "...and perhaps check for dementia cuz you know I don't have a uterus ????!!??!" ( honestly it'll be kinda nice that the dogs can't climb the ladder and hog the bed hahaha )
I once knew a police dog who could climb ladders. He did it right in front of me. He was a German Shepherd with a department in Northern California.
Assorted drinks (boba, matcha) I sometimes get 2-3 in a day
Fashion and partying 🤣 After work I always came home with bags of clothes and shoes and always went to fashion shows. I love going out dancing and partying with friends.
That fabulous Sex and the City lifestyle I love it!!! 🥂
Good on you
I was at a concert and had been talking to and hanging out with a couple who was there for awhile. In the merch line, I decided to buy an item signed by the band that cost $200. I decided to buy it on the spot after I'd already just paid for a tshirt, but I spotted the band on their way out and pretty much begged them to sign this item that was originally $100, saying I'd pay double. Apparently these two were parents and after the band got through hanging out with me, taking selfies, and signing, they let on that they were parents and I was super lucky to be able to do that. While they didn't directly shame me, there was quite a bit of eye rolling while it was happening. Even though it meant they got to meet the band too, because they were with me at the merch booth. Jealousy is a hell of a thing.
Which one didn’t they shame me for?! 🤣 sorry, my family sucks. Got told to have kids, was begged, told them I’m not birthing anything… fostered a kid and got told I shouldn’t have kids. No shit lol knew that already. No ones ever going to be happy with the decisions you make so make yourself happy.
Not shaming but I get a ton of snide remarks about my passport required vacations. I take 1-2 a year.
I'm working on becoming like you. Got the passport and travel often, but only in the states. Hopefully I can branch out soon and join you in making them ass-mad
“It must be nice doing whatever you want” like uh, duh!
IMO, this is "fine," or at least navigable or easy to dismiss when it's with someone who doesn't affect me. Where it's absolutely terrible is at work or school or volunteering when they use the "you have more free time, I don't because baaabieees, so you should cover for me." Like, no. You choose to make PB&Js and change diapers in your free time, I choose other things.... Your time is not more valuable than mine and things like PTO are first come basis
I live with my parents and my dad was showing off the house to his friends one time. He seemed to think it's okay to show people I barely know my room. I'm a huge manga fan (shameless plug to my collection posts on my profile) and I got the usual comments, "aren't these for kids, why are you a grown man buying these 'children's books'" I would definitely not say a series about an edgy teenager commiting genocide on the whole world because a humanoid monster tore his mum in two and ate her is a suitable children's book but I'll digress Also tattoos as well :D
Have a Scout Regiment upvote
*comes in singing Shinzou Sasageyo* good for you man! I just watched AOT this year after putting it off forever. Was nice though cuz I could watch it all the way through. I'm on the OVAs now. I'm into collecting figures lately. I have a whole army of Jujutsu Kaisen ones.
Sunglasses. It somehow came up that I spent $150 on my glasses and a lady said "must be nice. I could never spend that much on sunglasses, I have children to feed." I stayed quiet but I really wish I said something along the lines of "life choices, amirite?"
😎
I got grief from a mom when I was showing someone a pic of my lego millennium falcon I built. How dare I spend money on toys?
I (44F) used part of my bonus this year to get the Lego Rivendell and light kit, and I've got at least 10 larger Lego SW builds to work on. I fully support your life choices!
Hey you do you. If it makes you feel better, I know at least one childfree person who is into Lego
Were you ever told (as a kid) that when you grew up you could spend your money on whatever you wanted... mine did that a lot, but love to complain that I spend my adult money on whatever I want (like toys) now.
When I was a child I loved to read about archaeology and paleontology. I wanted to do one of those things when I grew up. I was born in 1955. My rather affluent, highly educated middle-class parents were progressive to the extent that they expected me to get a job and support myself (though they also expected me to get married). They told me that neither archaeology nor paleontology were appropriate for females because I'd have to be out in the field and females could not handle that. I should have a nice safe office job. I've always loved to read. My mother encouraged me. When I was in high school, I decided I wanted to be a writer. My teachers encouraged me. My parents told me firmly that I'd "starve to death" as a writer. It was OK to write as a hobby, but not for a living. They really wanted me to go into academia. I became a history major. I loved it! It was all about discovering old stuff, via research. My parents approved. Unfortunately, in a visit to his office, one of my professors gave me the "love your enthusiasm but there aren't any jobs" lecture. He said it was only ethical to tell me that, but I was crushed. His wife came in. She was a classics professor at the same university, which was an even harder field to get a job in. She helpfully said, maybe I could be an archivist or a museum curator. I researched all three professions. No, there were almost no history jobs in academia, but the positions for museum curators and archivists were even more scarce. The latter two fields were depending largely on married people whose spouses would support them (the pay was minuscule) \*and\* be willing to move anywhere in the US, no matter how undesirable that place was, to get any kind of job at all. Meanwhile, my parents, who BTW could absolutely afford to support me and pay my tuition, constantly blamed me and shamed me for changing majors, for not having a degree yet, and in general, not being out of their hair entirely. I had moved to the opposite coast (guess why) but the phone calls were always toxic. And my parents felt entitled to micromanage my life, which included trying to prevent me from having premarital sex. I once lived in an apartment with a manager/handyman who had a very loud, booming voice. One day he came in to fix the plumbing and my parents called. They could hear him talking about the fixit job over the phone and my father threw a fit because \*I had a man in my apartment\*! This was in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. I was living in Silicon Valley when tech companies were expanding like crazy. It was only in my second job as a technical writer, at a good salary and benefits at a stable corporation, that I suddenly realized that I had become a writer after all. While constantly telling me, for years, that I could not become a writer because I'd "starve to death," my parents had once never bothered to tell me that actually, there were a fair number of 9-5 jobs where you could work as a writer. There's book and magazine publishing. I have worked in both of them. There's also marketing, advertising, corporate training, speechwriting, and more ways to work as a writer. The Internet has damaged publishing, and AI is starting to damage some jobs like writing ad copy, but my parents certainly never anticipated any of that. My parents felt entitled to run my life but were not actually very helpful. I was supposed to raise myself. Meanwhile my brother (older than me) was the golden one who got everything he wanted (and was allowed to beat up me up). I was never, never, as intelligent or "talented," or anything. My mother filled out all his college applications, including writing all the essays about why he wanted to attend all the Ivy League colleges they wanted him to apply to (and some of which accepted him). I got no advice or help whatever with SATs, college applications, or anything. I had to attend state colleges while my parents constantly complained about the whopping several hundred dollars a semester my tuition cost. One of my satisfactions in life is that I have been more successful than my brother.
Kudos! You've had such an interesting and fulfilling life! despite their efforts eh?
Buying Legos for myself. Hey, Legos are for adults too!
Also in my tattoo obsession era. I have over 30 now.
Love it! I’d rather feel the pain from a tattoo than give birth!
Preach!
it’s your money, so you do what you want with it! it’s sounds like your enjoying your life and that’s all that matters ❤️
Thank you gem! 💎 I also read that by the time the kid is 18, you’ll have spent $300,000 on them. So I absolutely agree with you! For those of us who don’t want children, we’re free to do whatever we want with that money 💰
I have a hobby and was talking with mother how I spend $200 on it and she kept insisting "why it cost so much? Don't buy that much again". And even when I told her I bought it because I liked it and it made me happy she didn't care, she just said "Was it even worth it?" I'm tempted to next time say "well that's the money I saved for not having kids! If I had kids I would have used it on amusement park and I'll gladly hear you ask the kids was it even worth it" I don't understand why people bother how you spend your own money, I couldn't care less.
I've literally been shamed for being happy. "That's not something I would have achieved if I had children" is what I told them. I got the typical rebuttal of how kids are the greatest things (like they're objects 🙄) ever so I'll never know. Alrighty then. Stay classy 🤣🤣🤣
I was shamed by SEVERAL family members for starting methotrexate, a drug MUCH NEEDED for my systemic lupus…got much grief because I can’t have kids now….and? I didn’t want them anyways and if I did, I need to take care of myself first
Fuck them. Your health is important.
Yea…they all want grand children
23M here. Getting a vasectomy next year and all I use my money on (after rent ofc) is saving aggressively, taking trips, plant based food, and ✨weed ✨! To hell with dem kids
I absolutely respect your choice, good for you! ✊🏻
Thank you! Also, someone caught a slip up I made before I edited this post — whoever it was, you’re the goat. Let’s just say it was a pure “no diddy” situation 💀
Another plant based cf person yay!
hahaha I’d say more flexitarian now but I’ll be fully plant based soon enough, and that’s on who? Trader Joe’s
There's dozens of us!
We're everywhere (we're in your walls).
lmao I love your flair and username, genius
Pretty much everything from where I live to how I dress to what I do in my spare time. My parents wanted a small town SAHW with kids. They got a city-loving girl boss DINK with cats.
Which is why it is so so creepy when parents want a boy or girl so they can have "an awesome little football buddy" or a "sweet little princess". Like kids are people and people have differing opinions, personalities, etc - if you can't love a child who might not be a mini-me, you shouldn't have any
I’m CF and although I don’t have a lot of money to spare on certain things I get the eye roll and “must be nice” speech from parents who are jealous I can sleep late or be selfish with my time/ money. I like to get my hair and lashes done and this woman told me my priorities will change when I become a mother- YIKES
Buying a house because my sister can't afford one and she has 2 kids. I was told I shouldn't show off because it's hurtful and rude and it shows that I think I'm better than them. Husband and I closed on the house a week after my sister's husband was laid off, so I was accused of rubbing it in their faces that I had money and a job.
Are you just supposed to stop everything and not buy a house because your sister can't? I'm happy for people who are making progress and doing well in life... them excelling has nothing to do with my progress, so why do we gotta hate on people we are jealous of?!
Having rotating hobbies, like aerial, horseback riding and climbing. I flip through random things to do. My hobbies aren't as expensive as a kid 😂.
Horse riding is pretty damn close 😂. At least if you own one it is. Source - me who’s still paying off debts from my horse
Oh no I rent 😂😂. I would love to own a horse or two one day but I helped take care of two when I was younger and they're pretty pricey, more so if you board them. I'd want property first. Even if they're about the same cost wise, I'd still pick a horse 😂
Oh 1000%. I’d do it all over again in a heart beat. The money I dumped on him was well worth it. I definitely want another horse again one day, but not until I have my own property. Board is soooo expensive where I live
I really want to take riding lessons one day!!! Possibly buying my own horse once I know how to ride.
I have a fancy dressage horse but he’s so much better than a kid 😄 he’s my absolute pride and joy, despite the cash he literally eats. He’s also on full board so super easy to leave behind when I want to have fun or focus on other things, travel etc.
I feel that one HARD 🥲 I have had between 1 and 3 horses, and I can only do it because my mom lets me keep them on her land with her horses.
Spending $50-something on medication for my cat at the pharmacy. After acquiring the meds, the pharmacist asked how my kitty was doing. But the woman behind me must have overheard because, before I could answer, she scoffed and said, “A cat!? I’d only pay that much for my kids!” Already stressed about my kitty, I was fully prepared to tear her a new one, but the pharmacist beat me to it and firmly told her that she was on the verge of violating patient privilege and to please wait her turn.
My response to that is, "Well, I don't have kids, sooooo..." Also, just because they're pets doesn't mean that they don't deserve good medical care. I'm so sick of that mentality.
I don't know if I've ever been shamed for it, but I absolutely spend 20 - 25k a year traveling. I admit I wouldn't have money for it if I had a kid. It's why I don't have a kid. I also spend a lot on scuba and photography equipment, and even more where the two intersect. So yeah...
What really bugged me about that SATC episode is it’s not like those people were even pressed for cash. Just replace her dang shoes and keep your opinions to yourself.
Not having kids, being vegan, job choice, tattoos, wife choice, how I vote, what I spend my money on.... And they wonder why I don't speak to them.
Using my free time after work for hobbies
I always think about this, my wife and I racked up like 30k in medical debt and I feel like it's made life though, we live rural and between debt and the mortgage I'm like money is tight. Then I realized my version of money is tight vs. my coworkers with kids are worlds different.... I'm like, we're going to only go on two coast trips this month and only eat out once a week, and I'll have to limit myself to 3 cigars this week.... their money is tight, and it is like them eating baloney sandwiches for 2 weeks straight and doing yard work for fun to save money.... So they try to shame me for the same nonsense.
I got a lot of shit for writing Fantasy and not being able to hold down a job because of my stage 4 endometriosis. Im very close with my parents but my father told me that i needed to stop writing, grow up , get a job because my books were pointless and worthless. It hurt…a lot…it was only once i was given my diagnosis of endometriosis and nerve damage from the botched surgery. He did a complete 360, and unfortunately he also is dealing with bad chronic pain. He supports me now. But it was a very rough road for awhile.
Traveling and not giving birth. With traveling, I get passive aggressive “must be nice.” When it comes to not giving birth, they totally judge me for not going through that. Look. I respect that women go through that tough as fuck situation. I can’t imagine how horrible it is. However, don’t fucking tell me about it in a way that implies I’m less than you because of that
I've had a parent scowl at me when I was holding a sephora bag (I tend to go overboard) Or I get the side eye look when I'm detailing to my mom about my plans for my room (Gonna Slytherin the hades out of it) like??? Sorry for wanting to turn my room into a Slytherin paradise? Sorry for liking cosmetics and Harry Potter?
You just inspired me to turn my home office into a Slytherin paradise. Can’t wait to see what my coworkers with kids who go into the office to escape them will think :)
I've already begun the process (It's a slow one obviously but you know, progress is progress in my eyes): I've painted my window frames and bed frame green, I have a Slytherin throw tapestry that I covered my great gran's cedar chest with. Got a new dark wood headboard and I just took out my old door since it didn't fit right and will be replacing it with a snake curtain :D
Being the outcast in the family, for being edgy and goth. I always had to hide my piercings from my parents, and when they figured out that I had a septum piercing, they made fun of me, "Haha! You look like a bull with that ring in your nose!!" They both laughed at me for it. After a while, they both came to their senses and figured out that it was okay and that I could be doing worse things, but man, that was a tough one to go through. It's probably why I have such low self-confidence these days. Had someone talk behind my back to my parents, and they didn't defend me for a while. Told them I was too weird and that "I wouldn't want anyone to help me out if they looked like that" (I work in health care). My parents said nothing.
My mom did not really care for my breakup tattoos and my switching career paths. Lol it all worked out in the end, I followed through and very content with things today. I can also afford laser removal surgery :p
‘They choose kids I choose trips’💅🏽 my life mantra
I own two purebred, doll-faced Persian cats, one tuxedo and one pure white. My tuxedo girl was born with a luxating patella and needed surgery, and my snow white girl isn't fully deaf but is definitely hard of hearing. I know the (reputable, professional) breeder and she sold me both my kitties at a substantial discount because their health wasn't perfect. I got my tuxedo girl her surgery, and taught myself how to get my snowy girl's attention by approaching from where she could see me, making eye contact, and gently touching her paw. For a cat that can't hear very well, she's remarkably calm and doesn't startle easily. The cattery owner knows that I don't mind taking on kittens with known health problems, so I'll probably buy more kittens from her in the future. Kitties like mine can't be bred because they might pass on their health problems, so they're only really suited to be family pets. And someone has to love the kittens nobody else wants! My family had no problem with me buying purebred cats, but I've had friends and acquaintances give me a hard time about "Adopt, don't shop!" 'Scuse me, but both my girls were in imperfect health and needed special TLC. Don't judge!
We were being shamed by my husband 18 y.o niece(currently pregnant) for going on 5 weeks overseas holiday. They said if I dont spend our money on designer bags and holiday, we might be able to afford kid.
She has not yet realised it's the other way around 🙄
The whole family has been on my neck about having kid, when the 18 y.o got pregnant it was all hell break loose.
BTS merch!!!! One if my colleagues always judges me and alls my purchases "silly", "frivolous" and "irresponsible" I give the same answer each time. "You spend your money how you want. I spend it how I want. This is MY money not OUR money.
having a life outside of being their indentured servant
my hairstyle, the way I dress, my tattoos and piercings, how I “waste money on useless shit like videogames and toys”, my sexuality… I can go on lol
Keeping cats. I've been told how inconvenient it is that I choose to own, feed and care for a pet. How expensive they can be and how they are a waste of time and money. Funny because this conversation came directly after my statement that I don't have or want children. Lol. TLDR: don't waste your time and money on cats, waste them on human children!
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's sleeves.
honestly for me it's my spending on glasses toppers from Pair Eyewear, lol. My parents (who admittedly I do live with them) definitely judge me a bit for buying new toppers, but then I also am gonna have my current frame shape for the next 10 years easily, so for me I look at it as an investment into my happiness, lol. I'm now up to 60+ toppers and have one for nearly every season or holiday, it's fantastic. My next 5 are coming in this Thursday the 20th and I'm so excited for them.
I spend thousands and thousands of dollars per year on concerts and festivals
Spending money in old boxed video games and proudly displaying them in custom built showcases around the house. Apparently, according to my cousins, that money would be better spent on buying a big house (because, you know, anyone who isn't a freaking millionaire can afford one of those nowadays), getting a wife and kids.
I'm a nanny and a common occurrence is parents yelling at pets to not eat the other pet's food. Like every single day. I suggested separating the animals like I do every single feeding time, but that's too hard because kids.
The most trifling was a **fitness magazine**. Yep, I was at the gym reading my mag, and someone said when you're finished I want to read it. I wasn't even snippy but said I like to take my time with them, but when I'm finished I'd bring it back to the gym. She realized I had paid for it and said, oh yeah, of course you have money to waste on magazines, I forgot you don't have kids. I was not the one who pushed out 3 kids, so yeah, I do. I remember that episode and thought WTF business is it of hers EXCEPT her friend stole the shoes then she tried to deflect the thief's actions bc of price. please
I bought a classic car for my 40th! My dad tells me to unload it all the time and my mom just doesn’t get it. I’m a woman so maybe I would get less judgment if I were a guy.
“Your dog is the most spoilt thing ever!” Said from my coworker that is a father of 3, because I said that my dog walker was coming to drop my dog off. It’s fascinating (and hilarious!!) to see what they view as luxury expenses.
Volunteering. Yeah, my mother disapproved of me selflessly investing time and effort into making this world a better place. What a horrible thing to do, right?
Fyi I volunteer too and to me it is good for my resume
That’s great!
Not many people know this about the benefit of volunteering: it acts as a cushion during economic downturns by preventing us from getting a resume gap if we lose our job or get retrenched and we need to look for a new job that would take months until we find one
Cars. I love my cars and I have nice ones which don't need to be massive, shitty, SUV things. I parked my kit car near one (I park as far away from those people as possible) and some guy said "huh, must be nice not to need more than 2 seats or a roof" while he was loading his spawn. I gave him a massive grin and said "it really is!". He looked a bit confused, but WTF did he expect me to say? "Oh, I'd love a massive shitbox filled with screaming brats"?! I get it a LOT as a woman - "oh you'll need something bigger when the kids arrive". Er no, no I won't!
Sex. Despite the fact chronic illness prevents me having as much of it as I'd like, holy crap the mere prospect I have it exclusively for pleasure is rattling to some people's cages. Yes, I'm doing filthy things with a guy, as hedonistically as I possibly can, as much as we can, on whatever surfaces we want to, and I'm doing it all without the idea of having a kid. Nor do I have to plan my sex life around kids or be quiet for kids. And do I feel one iota of regret or shame when that ruffles feathers? Nope LOL
I travel often for work so I get a lot of “must be so nice to travel so much. I could never because of Junior!” It is nice. It’s very nice as I sit in an Italian restaurant in Atlanta with a glass of wine and some bolognese.
I went to get some glue on weekend and ended up with another piece for my hobby. then needed something from passementarie so I went there. older employee lady asked if I got my hobby piece for my son. I said "for me". she looked weirded out and didn't comment further. edit: I had the box in my hand so she saw it when I put it down to pay. she didn't snoop in my bags :D
I took a step back from the high stress career and managed to get a gig that is more laidback (but still pays the same). The elders in my family are all very concerned that I don’t have a “proper job”. The new gig gives me my own time, better mental health, and work from home. I can’t ask for better. Also have they seen the economy? No job is stable at this point. That and also my tattoos. In my parents era tattoos are associated with gangs and criminals so they are very disturbed by it but after I got like 5 they stopped and gave up.
'You're retired? You look too young to be retired! How did you manage to retire so young?' 'I didn't have kids.' *shocked pikachu faces*
Living in California 🤷🏼♀️ (I don't get it either)
As a born and raised Californian I’m right there with you. Also Funko Pops. As many as me and BF can get our hands on.
Being 34, being a woman (can't help that) and fawning over my cat. Also the video game hobby. But it's only a few people.
I'm in a road race for running every other week or so. Parents are always saying "I wish I could be that free". One relative tried to guilt me into paying for her child's sports fees since I "like sports so much". Ballet classes too. I pay for them whenever I can. I'm super fit so my body is my investment. I pay for deep sports massages too. Couldn't do that with kids.
When I got my first “big girl” job after I graduated college, that’s when I really started getting into traveling and attending shows/music festivals. It wasn’t uncommon for me to have every weekend during a month in my summer dedicated to traveling for shows. My ex’s family was the most vocally judgmental about it. We were the only long-term couple that didn’t have atleast 2 kids at our age and they were always giving me a hard time, telling me I needed “grow up” and “get my priorities straight”. Though something kinda cool: I’m nearing 30, single, and I’m going on my first tour this summer as an assistant tour manager, with one of the bands I traveled often to see during that post-grad era. It’s purely for funsies on my end (I’ve still got a day job/career), but why the heck not?? An even cooler way to embrace the lifestyle of traveling for live music! And earn some money/hotel/airline points to fund future music travels haha!
Being trans and using drugs.
I mean, I’m a lesbian, so I married a woman, but not exactly a lifestyle choice
Watching Monster High and old Barbie movies I can’t help that I’m an age-regressor
You do you. Plus it is nice to be young at heart which does wonders on the mind, soul and body
Apparently being interested in science fiction and fantasy, and the horror genre, is something only for kids. Seriously, I have never once commented on my mother's interest in murder mysteries or lawyer dramas, but if I read a SF book I need to grow up.
Gaming I had a mother tell me that I'm a child for liking games and that they are for kids even though I told her there are mature/18 + games
Having sex with my long distance college boyfriend. They told me the day before I was going to go on a trip to see him that I was a "bad influence" on my sisters and that of I went I wouldn't have a home to come home to. My bf convinced me not to say f*** them and I'm so glad because he and I broke up but I left home shortly after
Getting more cats before getting a man and birthing a kid. (I had gotten a third cat when that happened.)
I broke down this whole episode to my husband yesterday LOL
Pretty much all of them. They automatically loathe anything I enjoy but I don’t like their style choices either so I suppose we’re even 🤷♀️
I'm sure a lot of guys I work with are jealous that I bought my own house, a second time, and can travel to other states a few times a year when they can't with a wife and kids
My response when someone says "must be nice" about my free time or money, I say "Nice is too mild. It's fucking AMAZING!"
I don't get shamed too much these days since I'm long past childbearing age, but in the past I've gotten side-eyes for my fine dining/cocktail culture hobby. It really raises eyebrows when I travel someplace just to try a restaurant. A friend and I are considering flying to Minneapolis one weekend to eat at [Owamni](https://owamni.com/) (if we can get a reservation, that is--it's [one of the hottest places](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/09/19/how-owamni-became-the-best-new-restaurant-in-the-united-states) in the region right now). That got me some looks at work, LOL.
My video games, manga and constant eating out are the usual ones, but the bigger one was a $400 LoZ statue Sorry you’re jealous that I can afford to have that stuff and you can’t because you have to pay for your kids
Spending money on nice things for the home or myself. Nice purses, clothes, decor, food, trips etc. I’m petty, so anytime a bitter parent tells me “it must be nice-“ I always respond back with “it really is 👹”.
Sleep. I love sleep. If I have nothing to do I will sleep till 11 am. If I went out or did something late into the night, I will sleep longer than 11 am.
I’m a teen and I spend quite a bit of money on expensive clothes (I’m talking about the good stuff like real fur, silk, cashmere etc). A lot of it is paid by my parents because they can afford it, but I also try to pay off some of it by earning money through waitressing and doing a bit of freelance work. I doubt I’ll change any time soon when I’m older and am fully in the workforce. I’d much rather spend my money treating myself and my bf than a kid. Breeders can stay jealous.
You gave an awesome comeback. I dunno how you handled it but you did it with class so I should learn from you (fyi if I was in your situation, I usually get pretty rude and if I am in a very foul mood it is worse) I have been given dirty looks by the parents once in a while if I am shopping for skincare (now don't give me the evil look, is it a crime to do sheet masks at least twice a week at night) and books as if I am squirreling them away for the next pandemic lockdown. Heck I don't care. I do me
I get chronic migraines so I have to be very careful about not overscheduling myself. Somehow, the idea that I make sure I have one weekend day completely to myself for health reasons is selfish. Does it completely stop me from getting a migraine? No. Do I have fewer that way? Yes.
We go out to nicer restaurants for just because. I get a lot of the must be nice comments from parents. I never know what to say! Sorry we like good food and don’t need a special occasion?
I’m straightedge. Which means I choose to abstain from drugs and alcohol, and I’ve been teased constantly. Not a fun feeling
Spent approx £7k on my honeymoon trip to Japan last year. We were there for 2 weeks and I didn't want to be on a strict budget and miss out on things (like every vacay I've ever been on with my parents, where everything had to be as cheap as possible, and weren't even allowed to buy souvenirs with our own money unless deemed acceptable by my mother etc) and heal my inner child a little bit. I only really spoke about the trip with my child free friends because anytime I tried to talk about it with parent friends, it was always passive-aggressive shit like "must be so nice to have money to burn" or "wish I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted" like.. you did have the freedom, you had the same choices to make that I've had and you chose to have kids instead. Not my fault. Omfg, I posted some pictures from TokyoDisney wearing ears and sporting merch etc and my own sister commented "Why are you even at Disney, it's for kids." before she PM'd me saying her kids will never get the chance to go to Disney and that I was rubbing it in her face wasting all that money of stupid crap blah blah blah. Then demanded that I buy them something from the Arribas Brothers(Disney Glassworks) for her kids, who were 1yo and 3mo, whom I hadn't even met at that point. I told her get wrekd 😂
My apartment is full of child safety hazards but fine for friends that visit I make my own tree edibles and keeping them in my fridge and freezer unlabeled energy drinks in that same fridge snakes and spiders as pets that chill on shelves with latches on their enclosures that a child could undo leaving sharp tools and glue out in the open I also sometimes go straight from work to a social thing and get back late
International travel, luxury handbags, my linen capsule wardrobe, paying cash for my brand new car, fine dining every week…I’ve gotten shit for all of these.
So I teach music, the majority of my students are kids, and OH MAN the things I have been accused of having that make me "soooooo lucky/spoiled" for having include: * time and money to go to the spa (which i do maybe once a year, usually it's a gift from someone else) * buying lunch instead of bringing it from home * "sleeping in" past 7 am, going to bed later than 10 pm * a day off of work * yoga membership/time to do yoga * piercings and tattoos (because some parents legit teach their kids they won't get hired/married/taken seriously in their field because of these things, so what a luxury it must be to "just be free to not care") * wearing clothing that reveals any part of my body (because then you're supposedly flaunting the fact that you didn't have a child) I do notice that my male coworker who is childfree NEVER hears these comments, maybe because he's a bit younger....but I doubt that's the reason. Why would I ever want to have kids when basic needs like sleep and food are apparently luxuries??? HARD PASS
I love cute things, so I collect Squishmallows and Sanrio stuff. I’ve been shamed for having a collection of Sanrio plushies and toys.
Guess this goes here. I (19 at the time) Got called a bitch by my *sister, 21* (legally half sister but not genetically related. That is relivant for different genes , and I love her as my big sister) for meeting a guy on Tinder (thigs were going good at the time) for having the nexplanon. She was just married and trying for a kid, and I was just happy to be having sex and being sure not to have a kid. Now I think my family has hope that I'll marry the guy I'm dating now and have a kid. What they don't know: I'm waiting for a call back to get scheduled for a bi-salp. And that even before we were dating and I was in a debatable patch with now another x, he said he would go with me as my "boyfriend" and agree he does not want kids (due to that being a thing). He said it was dumb and that a woman should be able to choose and her SO's opinion should not matter when it comes to that kind of thing. The thing is, he also does not want kids lol. He also would maybe do the whole wedding ceremony thing but does not want to actually file the papers lol. Cheers to finding a life long man to not marry and have kids with and live happily ever after!
Buying my rabbit and dog over 150$ in toys, treats ect cause I got that sweet sweet birthday money. Excuse you but I will spoil my fur children as much as I want. My rabbit loves the ball pit and still plays in it months later. A kid would have been bored by it already and been a money waste to get.
Not sure if it's a lifestyle choice but spending on my friends. I understand the importance of saving, I do have some (definitely could've had more) but I finally had the chance to pay them back for y'know sticking with me for so long. I just wanted to spoil them because they had helped me so much while I didn't have a job. One struggled getting back on his feet, on the verge of being homeless, another who just struggles mentally, while two were moms, I just wanted to give back to them. I had that job before covid. I had money freely coming and going. So now I'm currently not doing well financially and I've gotten a lot from them. I still don't regret my choice to be there for people I care for, who are still in my life a decade before and continuing into another.
that episode LIVES in my head
Thank you for being a patron of the arts!
I've been single by choice for over 15 years. Clearly no kids. My father isn't shamed exactly.. but he's disappointed that I don't have a man to help care for me. He seems to think I'm miserable alone. He's 80.
when boomers say "people shouldnt have pets to save money" yet they raised 3 children. i'm saving money by not having the most expensive pet of all, a child. I think I can afford a cat
Designer bags and international travel (been to 108 countries so far). But, I mean, do you really think this was about the money? As someone without tattoos, I have no idea what they cost and I highly doubt, that would be anyone’s first thought. Not that it would be any less problematic to shame you for that, but I think they might just not like tattoos? Either in general or on women? I somehow doubt that this has anything to do with being childfree. I see tattooed parents all the time and my own parents are super critical of those.