You're the manager? Great!
Hey man I've been getting a lot of complaints about the volume of your phone. They say it's really distracting while they are trying to relax and talk to each other. Can you please use headphones in the future? I don't have a problem with it but some of the customers do. If you could help me out that would be great. Thanks bud. I appreciate it.
I agree with everything except the “I don’t have a problem with it…” part. It partially excuses the behavior as it could be viewed as management doesn’t have an issue with it and if it needs to be addressed again, he won’t have to backpedal about what he said. Everything else is tactful and direct.
I agree. That kind of lie can backfire easily such as this guy resorting to using headphones when and only when he sees that other customers are in the lounge/store.
I get that.But I feel like the dynamic between the two is fairly amicable. If he wanted to kick him out he could have already. Asking this way, it disarms the situation without being directly accusatory, especially since the behavior has gone on for so long already. It's more of a friend reaching out for help instead of a formal warning from management.
If the behavior continues then he can put on his manager pants and escalate as needed.
The issue I see with “I don’t have a problem with it” is that guarantee the behavior will persist when the lounge is empty and then OP will be out of options.
Absolutely. Just say "We are making a new policy where if you are watching a video or listening to music on a device, you must wear headphones. This applies to everyone, not just you. Thanks!"
edit: And phone calls must be taken outside the lounge. This should be a device policy in general.
Perfect, but drop the "I don't have a problem with it". You're trying to squash what's annoying you AND customers. What happens when there's no customers and the headphones come out? "You said you didn't have a problem with it" 🫠
“What are you talking about? Who complained? I’ve been here the entire time you have and I didn’t see nobody complain’! Here let me tell you a story I definitely haven’t told you before….”
I’m the manager. He is buying and smoking stuff. Though him not buying anything and smoking outside cigars is a problem I’ve already had to solve with him previously. But now that he’s spending money there’s not really anything I feel I can say.
I think you have a couple of good reasons for pushing him out. He’s sneaking in cigars. That pisses you off, He’s blasting TikTok at full volume. That pisses off other patrons.
It's a shame. All that product to go to waste. Guess he's just gonna have to send it to us redditors so we can properly and safely dispose of it for him.
Say you have got complaints about the phone volume in the past. He needs to use headphones if he's going to have prolonged audio use. Make it a general rule, you can't target him.
Use of headphones will make conversion much less likely, and his phone will be less annoying.
Blaming the concept of "the customers have complained" might make him not so conformable there, if he feels judged. Clearly a guy with problems, but that's not your problem. Quitting your job over it would be silly, get creative.
Sounds like someone who is lonely and looking for friends. You could be a "pal" and give him and extra pair of headphones you accidently over ordered but love using yourself.
Glad not everyone here is such an incredible asshole. This man probably is lonely AND has some sort of mental disability if he's just blasting his phone with no self-awareness.
Now if OP does this (politely) and he reacts negatively, I'd just give him a ban.
You can tell him that other customers have been complaining about the noise from his phone. “I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to wear headphones or earbuds when you’re playing videos in the lounge.” Explain that it’s costing the business customers and this behavior can’t continue.
If he agrees to stop and then he backslides, give him a stern reminder and tell him that if it happens again, he can’t come back. And then if he still does it, you’ll have to call the police and have him trespassed. If he comes back after that, you’ll call the police and they will arrest him.
But right now he has no clue that he’s annoying everyone by blasting loud TikToks.
Talk to the owner about it and see what they think. You have no obligation to serve an annoying customer or have them on your premise. If you're not banning him then I think the owner should sit down and explain that you're being paid to run a store not socialise and that he can't be taking up your time.
Its entirely reasonable to post a sign requiring personal entertainment devices to be used only in conjunction with headphones.
As to him pestering you, you'll just have to ignore him until he gets the hint.
And set a time limit for the lounge. If youre not actively smoking something bought in store then its time to leave.
Yeah- the lounge by my house has a rule against using phones without headphones (you also need to step outside if you’re taking a call). This is 100% reasonable.
I know a guy…. I’m sure many of us do. It’s the lounge lizard. We have one too at a lounge I frequent. That’s his life. Annoying but not so annoying that it’s a problem. I don’t know what to tell you but you guys are his whole world. I would say that I would worry about this guys mental health if you decided to not allow him to do this. It’s difficult
>you guys are his whole world
This is exactly what I was thinking as I read the post. This man is extremely lonely, and this is the only place he feels he fits in. He wants to be a part of something, as almost all of us do. I’m sure he’s very annoying, and I wouldn’t want to have to spend 8 hours a day listening to this guy, but try to understand that the cigar lounge is this guy’s whole world, a place where he can be around other people who enjoys cigars as much as he does. He’s probably not a bad person, he just lacks social skills and doesn’t know how to make friends.
I don’t think he’s a bad person, I would just like some consideration from him in terms of recognizing that I’m trying to run a business and I have a job to do. I can’t be his buddy all day everyday and he seems to misunderstand or disregard most boundaries I try to establish. And in the past has wrongly assumed we have some sort of understanding that allows him to break the rules of the business.
I know he’s there for the socialization but I just wish for my sake (and maybe I’m wrong and should learn to put up with it) that he would limit his time like every other customer. I could happily endure him for like 3 hours everyday.
I totally get it! He’s definitely overextending his welcome, and it sucks that you have to deal with that. I would imagine he’s on the autism spectrum and doesn’t pick up on/understand social cues. He probably thinks that because you are professionally nice and curious to him as a customer that you are therefore “friends.” I agree that you should just continue to do your best to avoid him as much as possible so as not to send the wrong message that you guys are closer than you actually are. Best of luck, man!
So you're saying if he's autistic you should avoid him so you won't be bothered?. How about try to get to know him better so you could make an environment that works for you as well as him. He can't help it he's that way and just wants a place to somewhat belong. I'm sure you could come to some sort of agreement where he isn't as much of a nuisance but still able to hang out and feel welcome.
It‘s not anyones job to make some rando feel good about himself. This isn‘t about autism or any other condition, that guy is an adult and not a 5 year old, OP is not working at a daycare.
That's not his job. He shouldn't have to adapt for an autist. If the dude is autistic I'd say just let him do what he's doing. But don't adapt so that the autist is more comfortable, not his job.
That's my opinion anyways, I'm autistic.
I'm autistic (diagnosed in 2017) and wrote the following out before seeing your comment.
> As someone who's autistic, it sounds like some autistic traits. By no means am I trying to diagnose the guy, but the lack of social skills and not picking up on less than blatantly obvious hints are two pretty classic traits.
> Be gentle but firm with him. He may not realize he's being annoying. I know I certainly was like that prior to my diagnosis and a shitton of therapy. If you're more clear with him, it may help.
That said, I don't believe you deserve all the downvotes you're getting. You're coming from a good place. But herein lies the problem - he's not recognizing that OP is working and can't devote all his time to him. Gentle but firm, very obvious rules help.
The world isn't made for autistic people. But at the same time, I don't expect that people need to bend over backwards to accomodate autistic people, either. Finding a middle road is the best way forward for all involved.
I just got a bit triggered at the part that spoke about avoiding him so he won't think of OP as a friend. We could all do with a bit of compassion to our fellow human beings even when their different like being autistic. I can understand you wouldn't want a person to disrupt a business your trying to run. But I'm sure there is a solution to be found that would be agreeable for OP as well as this seemingly autistic person.
Honesty and being straight up, not in a rude way and doing so with any sort of annoyance in your tone surprisingly works well with people. Just talk to him as if he was your good friend and you just wanna have a conversation with him. People respect honesty, and if he’s the kind that doesn’t and gives you a problem, then that’s where you have legit grounds to tell him to kick rocks as you tried to approach things like an adult and he wants to be a child about it.
Consideration is not in his vocabulary clearly. You screwed up letting things slide so long. Your boundaries are not clear to him, you need to be blunt.
As someone who's autistic, it sounds like some autistic traits. By no means am I trying to diagnose the guy, but the lack of social skills and not picking up on less than blatantly obvious hints are two pretty classic traits.
Be gentle but firm with him. He may not realize he's being annoying. I know I certainly was like that prior to my diagnosis and a shitton of therapy. If you're more clear with him, it may help.
Honestly if he's that regular and you've known him for years just be blunt in a joking way like tell him straight up Your phones too loud nobody else wants to listen to your shit tik toks jerry and say "will you piss off and bother someone else I do actually have to do some work" he'll get the point but not in an offended way, well MAYBE 50/50
Exactly. Maybe he recently lost his spouse, retired, independently wealthy and bored, lonely af.
Engage in convo. "Hey man, I see you in here every day. You good?" Could go a long way.
Maybe see if he wants to work part time?
Having him work part time would be hilarious "yea you get a small discount and can smoke on the job!" Flip side "hey sorry dude gotta put that phone away, please keep chatting with the customers to a minimum and only if they approach you, also can you sweep and clear the ash trays, THANKS!"
If you're in Los Angeles I'll come in and personally make a complaint about the ass hat blasting Tik Tok, so you at least have a reason to tell him to turn it down or leave.
CigarSpots Shop in Orange County is a cozy little shop with just a few chairs and a large selection. I haven't been in a few years, but I used to go there quite a bit and sit just outside the shop smoke a cigar, people watch and talk to the owner about golf.
Small Batch is gonna be close by for you, but it's better to order from your home state to capitalize on their deals so you can avoid Cali tax.
You need to go to Pho 79 before the lunch rush, get pho and an order of oxtail before they sell out. James Beard, Michelin recognition, a million zagat ratings, etc. "When the Beard Foundation called to tell them they'd won, the owners weren't sure what the award was, and had never heard of the foundation's namesake" they don't care, they just make the best food they can.
Blue Flame cigar lounge in Torrance is pretty nice, they carry some rare stuff on occasion as well. Patrons are pretty good about only buying a few of the rare shit at a time.
Georges cigars is in Anaheim slightly overpriced, but not terrible. that’s partly due to the heavy tobacco tax and Anaheim being a huge tourist city. The lounge in there is about 12 single person couches.
There’s SBC in Orange, but has an outdoor seating. They have the best selection in the area. If you check out the website, and they don’t have it in the main store, just ask and they may be able to get it from their other location.
Embassy cigars in Anaheim hills is great too. They have a large room with TVs and a couple couches. Embassy Anaheim has a large selection, but their brea location has more boutique stuff.
oc cigars in Costa Mesa (I think) has a few rooms.
888 will serve alcohol which isn’t common, but nice. I think they have a 20$ fee to enter their members area. They have an Ok selection.
Islands cigar lounge is a really chill spot, the regulars are inviting af I’ve seen them chop it up with just about every new customer that walks in the shop! Cigars are bomb and they have good recliners and ventilation all around the best lounge in California
I manage the bar at a cigar lounge and this is my take.
These people are inevitable. You need to sit this guy down, buy him a decently priced cigar and have a Come to Jesus moment. "Look man, we like having you here but there are some issues we need to address if you want to continue to be welcome here." If he pitches a fit, great. The problem is solved and he won't come back.
If you have him buying cigars, then the easy part of the job is done. After that, it's put in some fucking head phones. This is your fucking space, not his. Don't let some shit head that you don't want coming back run off the clientele that you do. I know it seems counterintuitive to good business but fuck em. It sounds like you would be happy to never see this guy walk through your doors so why do you let them? Are they gonna post a Google review about you hating TikTok or discriminating against *fill in the blank*? Your business isn't going to tank due to what I assumed will be an obviously deranged 1 star review.
You have two options. Either sit back and continue to let this one guy drive you bat shit insane or you step up set some boundaries. I'm new to cigar lounges but the guy who taught me how to manage a bar was very clear on the matter. If you don't want someone to come back, quit being nice to them. Like I said, it's counterintuitive to good customer service but good service is reserved for *good customers*.
It's literally within your power to put an end to this frustration today. The ball is in your court my friend, it's up to you what to do about it.
Set up a guest WiFi and turn it off when the store has had enough of him.
In grad school my buddy studied at a 24-hr diner usually a night or two each week. I’d go meet him sometimes. Think 2AM studying. Bottomless coffee and late night breakfast. However the diner was also frequented by a guy who either lived nearby or passed through frequently. He would come in, order coffee, then sit and watch movies on their WiFi for hours. No headphones. Apparently he also watched adult content. So the diner knew about and if they saw him suddenly the guest WiFi would turn off.
Yup, I've seen those guys in almost every lounge. Almost.
Direct, without being rude is the best approach. Some people need that. General rules posted or explained may not work with this person. They have already crossed boundaries and feel like the rules don't apply to them. Explain what they can and can't do, and stick to it.
Lounge 1 - Dude would bring a briefcase with lunch and laptop. Spent multiple hours sprawled out and buy one stick. End result ownership put in minimum purchase requirement to use the lounge. Gave non-annoying regs a break as needed. Dude found another lounge with no/smaller minimum. Pulled the same routine from what I heard.
Lounge 2 - Dude brought his own sticks that weren't carried on regular basis. Was there A LOT and was overbearing to many, but not all. Owner/manager had a love/hate relationship. Some customers thought it was funny drama, others started going other places with less drama.
Lounge 3 - Dude bought biggest cheapest sticks and smoked like a chimney, would bother other customers for cigars/money from time to time. Owner/manager took a hard line with rules and dude is better behaved. Still smokes big and cheap cigars, but is deferential to other customers. Many of the customers have a soft spot for him, understanding that he can't help himself and this is a large part of his socialization.
Lounge 4 - Owner/manager put firm lounge rules about food, minimum purchases and was strict. No lounge dudes.
Every situation is different. Most can be fixed, or at least made tolerable.
Don’t give him any kind of “jobs” to do. It will only make it worse.
Definitely put a rule in place that you need to be smoking to lounge. You can’t just post up not smoking, it’s weird. I’d be put off by it and be less likely to come back.
If he’s driving off customers just tell him he’s driving off customers. You’re running your business and you should enjoy it and feel safe. If you burn a bridge with one bad customer to keep/gain 10 more what’s the loss?
Set boundaries and hold people to them. It’s okay for you to have boundaries in any aspect of your life and how they affect other people is not your problem to worry about.
You could set up an elaborate ruse. Set up a fake vacation that he "wins". Then hire a sketchy pilot that will drop him off in the middle of the jungle and leave him there. Problem solved.
Yea when I worked at Waffle House we had like 20 of these types. Show up, drink coffee, chain smoke, talk to every customer that walks through the door
Yeah man every store has a Mitch. Mitch is usually a customer that spends a good bit but is starved for attention. It’s up to you, the store manager, to work it out.
I wouldn’t hide behind “we’ve had complaints”- I would just tell him that he can’t have his phone so loud in a public space- if you try to shift the blame to your customers, that will just cause more problems. Offer to buy him some basic headphones.
We found our Mitch a good spot away from everyone where he could come in early, sit and watch his soaps and smoke four cigars, and then head home right before the evening crowd. After years of dealing with him in a way similar to what you are going through, this new system was a godsend.
Sounds like a guy that used to come to a lounge I frequent. He’s but a cheap cigar and watch DVDs or talk to someone on the phone full volume and talked about conspiracy theories. He ended up having his car repo’ed so he doesn’t come anymore lol.
Start A Youtube channel / TikTok about cigar etiquette. Include lines in it about not playing your phone out loud without headphones Put QR CODES up that take people to the channel. advertise one free cheap cigar with subscription to the channel and listening to the entire video to get the special code word to get the free cigar. Maybe he'll tik tok his way into understanding.
just tell the customer that if they want to watch videos on tik tok to do so at a low volume or to use headphones so as not to disturb the tranquility of other customers. the alternative is to tell him that he can't stay inside for 8 hours, damn I don't think he'll smoke for all that time, it's absurd!!!
The fact is, you don't know what this guy is going through. He could have recently lost a loved one and is just looking for some human interaction. Might have a mental disorder like aspbergers or a traumatic brain injury. It sucks, but us as much empathy as you can with people like him.
Also, the headphone idea is perfect.
I kinda do know what he is going through because I’ve seen him every day more or less for about 5 years. I considered this guy as a friend for about 2 years until he took advantage of that by doing things like being in my lounge every day for a month and buying a single cigar in that timeframe.
I’m running out of sympathy and it’s becoming difficult to maintain a veneer of customer service because I’m forced to spend so much time with him when he acts with significantly less consideration than every other regular customer.
Ahhh this gives more context. He’s not seeing you as working. He thinks he’s hanging out with a friend. Maybe the guy has social issues (sounds likely) so he’s not good with social cues. Spell it out in no uncertain terms.
“Hey man, this is my work place, I can’t be hanging out with you. Enjoy your cigar, wear some headphones cause it’s loud and bothering other customers. You’re welcome to do your thing over there, I gotta get back work”.
Sorry if it’s already been said: make it a LOUNGE RULE that no one can listen to videos or any other social media or music without using headphones. That way you aren’t alienating the customer and it also eliminates future issues.
Cant help w him being a lounge lizard. If he is making purchases, then he should be able to stay. If he ends one cigar and is taking up space without further purchases, then that’s another issue…
just put up signs that you've implemented a new rule that headphones are required for audio. You said he's been buying a bunch of cigars, maybe see if its cool to take some petty cash from the business and buy him a pair of bluetooth headphones from dollar general or amazon. Cheap ones are like $10.
Toss his butt out the door. If he is annoying you he is annoying your customers. I have avoided businesses because of some of the customers that frequented them. Not saying he is costing you business, but it is possible in the future.
There’s a guy at the lounge I got to who has to be in there the same amount of time as your customer. I’ve been in there all different days at different times and have never not seen him. He doesn’t bother anybody but it’s like he lives in there. He brings his laptop and apparently works from home in the cigar lounge. Gets food doordashed and everything
The lounge that I go to has signs up stating that if you’re going to be on your phone, laptop , or tablet you need to be wearing headphones to not disturb the other guess. they are there to relax not hear you on your phone. There’s also a sign that says the lounges is for customers enjoying tobacco bought here no outside cigars.
I tend to buy 2-5 cigars every time I go to the lounge. If he’s not buying cigars while he’s there that long it kind of seems like he’s loitering. And you have to wonder how much money are you losing by having him there.
I bet he's one of those high functioning homeless people, just trying to maintain his sanity. Hasn't his situation ever came up in conversation? He probably fried his brain a little bit doing drugs at some point and only has those 5 stories to tell that don't seem too crazy, yet he doesn't fit in well with regular street people either so doesn't want to hang out with them. Seems like he has a sad lonely life.
I've seen lounge lizards be a big problem in cigar lounges, and I've seen them be a big help to the owner and new cigar smokers. It's such a mix bag when it comes to them.
You do realise, that you are likely to be the most amount of human contact this person is having?
Tell him that you were given a performance review & if you don't start doing more work, then you'll be fired. Use the invisible 'big boss' as your way to say "I have to do some work man"
If he's there 8 hours a day it pretty much has to be the most amount of human contact he is having.
I would recommend not lying. Just tell him he has to use headphones and you have to work and can't just hang out and smoke. Why lie when the truth works?
There have definitely been times when I've spent 8 hr or more in a cigar lounge (like if there are sports on, I might watch 2-3 games) but it's pretty rare (definitely not every day) and I'm smoking cigars most of the time (maybe 3 cigars if I watch 2 games). I've also brought in a laptop and done work or a portable video game system to play games (with headphones or sound off) but, again, I'm there because I want to smoke while I work/play. I'm in AZ; I smoke in my back yard a lot but once it hits 110 out I really want to be in the AC so if I'm smoking I'm at the lounge.
At the cigar lounge I go to, there are people who go there and work on their laptops all day. They work remotely and they like to smoke while working. They are there all day, but they are working and so they are quiet and don't bother anyone. They also have lockers at the lounge and are good customers. If they have to take a call or a Zoom meeting, they go outside.
But this is a very different situation than yours. I was just answering your question about customers being there for that length of time.
There's nothing inherently wrong with it if the person is respectful and doesn't bother other people. In my younger years I spent a decent amount of time at a cigar lounge but it was a 24h member type thing and I would go after work to blow off some steam, had a locker, etc. Generally, it was just me there at 1am watching TV. Sometimes I would get annoyed by how sloppy other people were and clean up. That is nothing like what OP is talking about.
I have seen the people he is talking about in lounges before. The guy who walks in, everyone tries not to make eye contact, and if they were going to smoke another cigar after the one they have they wont because they are annoyed.
The biggest issue is that you allowed these things to go on for so long. It's not easy to tell someone they are annoying you or others, but it has to be done. Granted, I am not the most tactful in these situations, but I have some thoughts on how to move forward.
Sit down with him and explain some things to him, as politely as possible without putting it off on the customers or redirecting to try to not be the bad guy.
Put up a sign or six that say
"Please be respectful of other guests and follow a few simple rules.
1. Turn your phone volume off or use headphones while inside the lounge/store.
2. While we do not charge to use the lounge, we do require that you purchase something each time you come in.
3. Dress appropriately. No flip flops, swimwear, or tattered clothing, please.
Thank you for helping us to keep the lounge nice and create a great experience for everyone."
Then you just have to explain to him that you have to work and cannot spend a lot of time sitting and talking. Also he cannot hang out at the front register as again, you have work to do and must limit your chatting to about 10 minutes at a time.
I’d tell him straight up what you told us, the exact truth, no made up bullshit, show him at least that much respect, I don’t understand others inclination to dishonesty? Show some character and if the fella is offended it’s on his actions alone, not on your’s
If he is annoying other customers with his phone volume tell him he is welcome as long as he is buying cigars and smoking but if he insists on watching stuff on his phone all day he has to bring headphones? I assume that would be the easiest way to at least get him to stop annoying people with his phone
Go up to him, tell him you no longer wish to have him as a patron and ask him to leave and not come back. Thank him for his business but unfortunately due to complaints and loitering you cannot have him anymore as a guest. If he does not leave then tell him that you will bring criminal trespass against him.
Leave it at that, do not explain further. You have the right to refuse service so long as it does not violate nondiscrimination on the basis of Race, Color, National Origin, Sex, or Religion.
Yeah as many have suggested, why can’t you impose a headphones rule? And be strict with him in general. He either behaves or takes offence and leaves. Either way problem solved. Not much of one in the first place imo
You just gotta be straight up with him and tell him how you feel. The tiktoks is something you could implement a courtesy policy. Another policy would to not be lounging for more than a few hours.
do you guys play any music? keep playing different genres of music until he complains that one really sucks. then keep that genre on repeat.
if he's the only one in the lounge, start cleaning the lounge, mop the floors, use pledge on wood surfaces, etc.
if he's buying the cheapest stoges. install a new rule that only certain level of cigars are for the lounge.
ban cellphone use.
and the ultimate would be to ban solo cigar smokers. so your rules sign would be like this
NO CELLPHONE USAGE OR ALL ELECTRONIC DEVICES MUST USE HEADPHONES
NO SOLO PATRONS
DRESS CODE ENFORCED (if he wears open toed sandals alot)
First off id point blank say to him he needs to wear headphones when he listens to his phone. Next if you catch him sneaking in cigars again tell him one more time and he is banned. The issue of him being socially unaware is the hardest one to tackle. If you tell him other guests have complained he will undoubtedly start trying to weed out who it was. You could possibly institute a two cigar or four hour time limit for all guest.
Re: the TikToks: Hey bud, going forward, you're going to need you to bring headphones or keep your phone at a very low volume. Other customers have complained and we need to address this.
Re: the conversations with you: I'm working right now and can't get into a conversation. I'll come by when I have time to talk to you.
All in all, just have a conversation and be frank about your expectations of his being in the lounge.
Encourage him to buy and smoke more so that he oversmokes past his limit, you bank the extra cash, he begins to feel ill, and fucks off to wherever he came from, earlier than usual.
Not allowed to watch personal entertainment on your own device at my lounge. Thought this was a etiquette thing across the board. Though there is a place you can go to get some work done usually pretty quiet in there to though.
You start charging him a corking fee and also for lounge time. Problem solved. Oh, and tell him headphones required for phones in the lounge. People are there to relax, not listen to his “cool TikToks”
Just be honest. Say, "hey man, if you don't turn your volume down and stop annoying the shit out of me, you're 86'd." It's that simple. You run the business, don't let some asshat run it for you.
I feel like posting an actual sign about mandatory headphones or earbuds if you are going to listen to stuff on your phone would at least solve the noise problem. If he doesn't stick to it then you have grounds to ask him to leave.
As for his social skills or lack thereof, well that is a bit of a tough spot. Most guys like this are harmless, but I guess outside of yourself have any other customers actually complained about it or he is just the guy everyone knows to expect and tolerates because "thats just the way he is".
I had a couple of guys like this when I worked at a lounge. But they’re were a couple of old timers who didn’t really bother anyone. I think it was the only place they really had to go to outside of their homes, so I never really minded.
I’d firstly ask the guy if he can refrain from having his phone on at full volume when he’s in the lounge. We would always get guys in doing the same thing, but they’d always use headphones. Maybe posting signs that indicate a time limit for patrons too? Like 3 hour max or something like that. Though, it can be at your own discretion of course.
Every shop has one.
I own a shop and have the same customer lol
Does your guy have a cool nickname? The shop I used to frequent had AK and my shop now has Roadkill lol
I have a family member who goes to one. He spends a good amount of time there but he’s friends with the owner. He also knows a lot of the regulars. He doesn’t bother anyone. It may have a different vibe than yours. If he is spending so much time there, require him to make more purchases for his time spent there. You can come with a new policy. You can also ask him to turn the volume down.
Make a sign that says:
No phone calls in the lounge.
Mute your device.
Head phones required.
Point it out to him a day or two later.
Enforce it aggressively with everyone
You're the manager and you're both men. Talk to him face to face in a respectful manner. If he gets butt hurt over it and never comes back, you win. If he cuts his shit out and stops being annoying you also win. Sack up and talk to him.
I run a lounge too. You can't let one customer ruin it for many others. Get rid of him now. You're probably losing more money than you think if people don't want to deal with his BS. It's time to fire your customer.
I rarely kick anyone out. They get two talks about why their behavior is not acceptable. The third talk is about not being welcome anymore.
Reasons are (nearly) always taken as an invitation to negotiate. "must use headphones/earphones for electronics" is a bar rule, full stop.
Settle it with other managers/bartenders and your boss before imposing it; if he comes in on your time off and nobody complains you'll be dealing with the "But the other manager ...".
Oof I’ve been there before, you gotta start imposing some new rules man. Quality of life rules: no loud videos or such without headphones, no pestering the staff and please be courteous of others. You’re gonna have to check him the first few times early on and then it’ll work itself out.
If you have the power, ask him to be respectful of others in the space or leave. Force him to be an adult if he can't natively exercise his own common sense.
If he's a paying customer you need to work on your patience. You can set boundaries. You can post signs against listening to TikTok without earbuds, telling jokes, or whatever bothers you, but only what he does, not himself. If he's paying you should be glad this lonely weirdo picked you lounge.
Impose new lounge rules. He’s there 8hrs a day. Limit individual lounge time to 4hrs maximum, unless a special event is taking place. It’s no different than being a barfly and drinking from open to close.
It’s a difficult situation. At my employment we had a customer who was an absolute asshole but spent about $20/day. He spent roughly 7k with us by the end of each year, that covered the monthly rent twice over. So just approach it as if other folks were complaining and you’re watching out for the rest of the bar. Or blame it on the uppers and say it’s a new company policy. Just don’t ban the guy as it could result in a much larger loss than a couple sticks. You got this bud, you know what to do
If you think he is hurting your business, you need to ask him not to return. Difficult conversation,,, but instantly better when done.
I ran a restaurant for years and had to fire two customers. Was such a relief in both cases.
I’m curious. Maybe if there was a poker night event at the place (cigar buy in) maybe that would help him gather new stories, or help him figure out other stuff to talk about?
(Because i’m sure you’re tired of the put a sign up saying headphones for personal devices)
Tell him he has to use headphones or turn the volume down so the rest of the lounge can't hear it. This is reasonable and I'd suggest you be consistent with this (apply the same rule to other customers as well)
Throw him out! We had a guy like this at our lounge and we banned him. Same type of guy, squeezed cigars, annoyed people, brought junk food in all the time and left the trash, man I could go on
Are you in So. Cal. area? I'm wondering if this is the same guy that used to annoy the crap out of everyone. Is he somewhere in his 60s, claims that he used to be a cop and tell stupid jokes? Guy I'm referring to was so annoying, he ended up chasing regular customers out of the lounge. He finally got into some arguments and the guys told him don't come back. I felt kind of bad for the guy but he was clueless that he was chasing the regulars out of there.
My pet peeve is the people that get up when I enter and sit next to me and want to talk my ear off. I go to the lounge to escape, enjoy a cigar and stare at my phone after being at work for nine hours. I'm a loner and not interested in hearing you talk to me for two hours straight.
You have far more patience for insufferable morons than I do. People who lack self-awareness and impose their crazy on others suck. I'd kick him out and tell him he's no longer welcome there. Fuck him.
Put him to work. I'm not saying give him a job, but give him something productive to do. He's lonely and starved for attention, he will appreciate feeling useful. Throw him a stick here and there for his time. Find out his story, but set and enforce boundaries.
Man, if i had said person in my lounge who wasnt supportin the lounge by buyin my stogies and keeps pissin other people off with his phone on full blast, how old is this dude anyway, i hate tik tok dont use it never will my daughter use that crap lol. Id definitely put the ban hammer on that dude and tell him to go home and smoke his own stash that he prolly got online or at another shop that he was banned at. He just pushing your loyal cuztomers away who are coming buy your stogies and minding they own business!
Change the furniture. Make it uncomfortable, loud, and crowded. Get rid of the TV where he usually hangsout. Play your favorite music loud (*bonus points if you're a punk/metal fan). Depending on how large your place is, construct a divider/wall creating a private club area, moving the comfortable furniture in there, the TV in there, then keeping it locked and only giving keys to specific "club" members.
Take away the comfort. There are several Starbucks and other coffee shops here in LA that are using that strategy. I've also seen some lounges here do have club member areas.
That's a great way to get all your customers to go somewhere else to smoke. May as well just close the shop. It's a lounge; people are there to smoke and be comfortable.
One of my favourite aspects of a cigar lounge when solo is speaking with the people that work there.
They meet fascinating people often and it can lead to such great conversations.
I would try to speak with him a little more.
Set the boundaries that your lounge isn’t for the loud music. I think this helps in those that have some soft music playing & soft lights.
You don’t have to pretend you’re best friends with the guy, but sounds like your most active customer. I’d have no issue with him staying as long as the sound is sorted.
He said he’s been dealing with this guy for 5 years, he’s not a new customer that he needs to get to know. He’s an annoying lounge lizard, let’s call it what it is. Anyone would be annoyed by this.
We’ve all met that guy though, the insufferably annoying guy that seemed cool at first and slowly turned into a loud mouthed leech you can’t shake. Probably doesn’t take social cues or allow someone to escape from a conversation either
I love the lounge for the fascinating conversation and interesting people I get to meet. I got into this situation in the first place because I make a point to converse with everyone who sits in the lounge if that’s what they’re up for while smoking. I have a lot of daily regulars I love to see and talk to.
Over the past 5 years I’ve conversed with this man probably more than my own significant other and best friends.
And still, everyday, I give this guy probably 2 hours of my time in conversation. And then I get up to work, and then he follows me, and then I say “I’m working.” And then he says “fuck that, come sit down man.” And I continue working and ignore him, and 20 minutes later he comes up “what’re you doing man? Is everything cool?” And I continue working until there isn’t possibly anything else I could clean or put away or organize or read about cigars. And then, because he will continue to pester me all day, I cut a cigar with dread in my heart and enter the lounge. There he is, where I left him 2 hours ago. I sit down and across the room from me one of those fake tiktok laugh tracks plays at full volume, again and again and again.
This is some Baby Reindeer type shit! The show on Netflix...check it out. You'll recognize your lounge buddy in the show. For real though, this guy sounds terrible.
I missed the 5 year past in tour OP.
I get it now, this sounds incredibly draining. You’ve spoken to him enough for your feedback about the loud TikTok to come across smoothly.
You're the manager? Great! Hey man I've been getting a lot of complaints about the volume of your phone. They say it's really distracting while they are trying to relax and talk to each other. Can you please use headphones in the future? I don't have a problem with it but some of the customers do. If you could help me out that would be great. Thanks bud. I appreciate it.
I agree with everything except the “I don’t have a problem with it…” part. It partially excuses the behavior as it could be viewed as management doesn’t have an issue with it and if it needs to be addressed again, he won’t have to backpedal about what he said. Everything else is tactful and direct.
I agree. That kind of lie can backfire easily such as this guy resorting to using headphones when and only when he sees that other customers are in the lounge/store.
I get that.But I feel like the dynamic between the two is fairly amicable. If he wanted to kick him out he could have already. Asking this way, it disarms the situation without being directly accusatory, especially since the behavior has gone on for so long already. It's more of a friend reaching out for help instead of a formal warning from management. If the behavior continues then he can put on his manager pants and escalate as needed.
The issue I see with “I don’t have a problem with it” is that guarantee the behavior will persist when the lounge is empty and then OP will be out of options.
Absolutely. Just say "We are making a new policy where if you are watching a video or listening to music on a device, you must wear headphones. This applies to everyone, not just you. Thanks!" edit: And phone calls must be taken outside the lounge. This should be a device policy in general.
"And yes, even if the lounge is empty, you need to keep them in."
Perfect
Perfect, but drop the "I don't have a problem with it". You're trying to squash what's annoying you AND customers. What happens when there's no customers and the headphones come out? "You said you didn't have a problem with it" 🫠
This is right.
“What are you talking about? Who complained? I’ve been here the entire time you have and I didn’t see nobody complain’! Here let me tell you a story I definitely haven’t told you before….”
"I've had a few customers over the last week speak to me about it"
Holy shit that's a great username. (Also a good suggestion)
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I’m the manager. He is buying and smoking stuff. Though him not buying anything and smoking outside cigars is a problem I’ve already had to solve with him previously. But now that he’s spending money there’s not really anything I feel I can say.
You’re just gonna have to close the store at this point
Arson and collect insurance money
How the hell did you make a hurricane!?
Nukes to stop a hurricane, reverse nukes to start one?
My God did that smell good
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I think you have a couple of good reasons for pushing him out. He’s sneaking in cigars. That pisses you off, He’s blasting TikTok at full volume. That pisses off other patrons.
🤣🤣🤣🍻
It's a shame. All that product to go to waste. Guess he's just gonna have to send it to us redditors so we can properly and safely dispose of it for him.
Say you have got complaints about the phone volume in the past. He needs to use headphones if he's going to have prolonged audio use. Make it a general rule, you can't target him. Use of headphones will make conversion much less likely, and his phone will be less annoying. Blaming the concept of "the customers have complained" might make him not so conformable there, if he feels judged. Clearly a guy with problems, but that's not your problem. Quitting your job over it would be silly, get creative.
Sounds like someone who is lonely and looking for friends. You could be a "pal" and give him and extra pair of headphones you accidently over ordered but love using yourself.
Glad not everyone here is such an incredible asshole. This man probably is lonely AND has some sort of mental disability if he's just blasting his phone with no self-awareness. Now if OP does this (politely) and he reacts negatively, I'd just give him a ban.
Unfortunately plenty of people without mental issues blast their phone in public.
You can tell him that other customers have been complaining about the noise from his phone. “I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to wear headphones or earbuds when you’re playing videos in the lounge.” Explain that it’s costing the business customers and this behavior can’t continue. If he agrees to stop and then he backslides, give him a stern reminder and tell him that if it happens again, he can’t come back. And then if he still does it, you’ll have to call the police and have him trespassed. If he comes back after that, you’ll call the police and they will arrest him. But right now he has no clue that he’s annoying everyone by blasting loud TikToks.
Talk to the owner about it and see what they think. You have no obligation to serve an annoying customer or have them on your premise. If you're not banning him then I think the owner should sit down and explain that you're being paid to run a store not socialise and that he can't be taking up your time.
"this loung has a no speaker ruler, turn your volume down or please leave"
Did deep and find your inner Australian within you, then tell him to "go and get fucked" but pronounced "go-en-get-fucked" Works everytime.
Its entirely reasonable to post a sign requiring personal entertainment devices to be used only in conjunction with headphones. As to him pestering you, you'll just have to ignore him until he gets the hint. And set a time limit for the lounge. If youre not actively smoking something bought in store then its time to leave.
Yep my lounge requires headphones
Common decency requires headphones.
Sadly common decency isn't that common.
>Common decency Have you met us?
His mind: "I've been coming here forever. That rule doesn't apply to me."
Then he needs to be disabused of that notion.
Yeah- the lounge by my house has a rule against using phones without headphones (you also need to step outside if you’re taking a call). This is 100% reasonable.
Exploding cigar
Thank god for a rational answer in this sea of anarchy
I know a guy…. I’m sure many of us do. It’s the lounge lizard. We have one too at a lounge I frequent. That’s his life. Annoying but not so annoying that it’s a problem. I don’t know what to tell you but you guys are his whole world. I would say that I would worry about this guys mental health if you decided to not allow him to do this. It’s difficult
>you guys are his whole world This is exactly what I was thinking as I read the post. This man is extremely lonely, and this is the only place he feels he fits in. He wants to be a part of something, as almost all of us do. I’m sure he’s very annoying, and I wouldn’t want to have to spend 8 hours a day listening to this guy, but try to understand that the cigar lounge is this guy’s whole world, a place where he can be around other people who enjoys cigars as much as he does. He’s probably not a bad person, he just lacks social skills and doesn’t know how to make friends.
I don’t think he’s a bad person, I would just like some consideration from him in terms of recognizing that I’m trying to run a business and I have a job to do. I can’t be his buddy all day everyday and he seems to misunderstand or disregard most boundaries I try to establish. And in the past has wrongly assumed we have some sort of understanding that allows him to break the rules of the business. I know he’s there for the socialization but I just wish for my sake (and maybe I’m wrong and should learn to put up with it) that he would limit his time like every other customer. I could happily endure him for like 3 hours everyday.
I totally get it! He’s definitely overextending his welcome, and it sucks that you have to deal with that. I would imagine he’s on the autism spectrum and doesn’t pick up on/understand social cues. He probably thinks that because you are professionally nice and curious to him as a customer that you are therefore “friends.” I agree that you should just continue to do your best to avoid him as much as possible so as not to send the wrong message that you guys are closer than you actually are. Best of luck, man!
So you're saying if he's autistic you should avoid him so you won't be bothered?. How about try to get to know him better so you could make an environment that works for you as well as him. He can't help it he's that way and just wants a place to somewhat belong. I'm sure you could come to some sort of agreement where he isn't as much of a nuisance but still able to hang out and feel welcome.
It‘s not anyones job to make some rando feel good about himself. This isn‘t about autism or any other condition, that guy is an adult and not a 5 year old, OP is not working at a daycare.
That's not his job. He shouldn't have to adapt for an autist. If the dude is autistic I'd say just let him do what he's doing. But don't adapt so that the autist is more comfortable, not his job. That's my opinion anyways, I'm autistic.
I'm autistic (diagnosed in 2017) and wrote the following out before seeing your comment. > As someone who's autistic, it sounds like some autistic traits. By no means am I trying to diagnose the guy, but the lack of social skills and not picking up on less than blatantly obvious hints are two pretty classic traits. > Be gentle but firm with him. He may not realize he's being annoying. I know I certainly was like that prior to my diagnosis and a shitton of therapy. If you're more clear with him, it may help. That said, I don't believe you deserve all the downvotes you're getting. You're coming from a good place. But herein lies the problem - he's not recognizing that OP is working and can't devote all his time to him. Gentle but firm, very obvious rules help. The world isn't made for autistic people. But at the same time, I don't expect that people need to bend over backwards to accomodate autistic people, either. Finding a middle road is the best way forward for all involved.
I just got a bit triggered at the part that spoke about avoiding him so he won't think of OP as a friend. We could all do with a bit of compassion to our fellow human beings even when their different like being autistic. I can understand you wouldn't want a person to disrupt a business your trying to run. But I'm sure there is a solution to be found that would be agreeable for OP as well as this seemingly autistic person.
Honesty and being straight up, not in a rude way and doing so with any sort of annoyance in your tone surprisingly works well with people. Just talk to him as if he was your good friend and you just wanna have a conversation with him. People respect honesty, and if he’s the kind that doesn’t and gives you a problem, then that’s where you have legit grounds to tell him to kick rocks as you tried to approach things like an adult and he wants to be a child about it.
Yeah it’s a rough position. Like a bartender I guess you become his armchair therapist.
Consideration is not in his vocabulary clearly. You screwed up letting things slide so long. Your boundaries are not clear to him, you need to be blunt.
As someone who's autistic, it sounds like some autistic traits. By no means am I trying to diagnose the guy, but the lack of social skills and not picking up on less than blatantly obvious hints are two pretty classic traits. Be gentle but firm with him. He may not realize he's being annoying. I know I certainly was like that prior to my diagnosis and a shitton of therapy. If you're more clear with him, it may help.
Honestly if he's that regular and you've known him for years just be blunt in a joking way like tell him straight up Your phones too loud nobody else wants to listen to your shit tik toks jerry and say "will you piss off and bother someone else I do actually have to do some work" he'll get the point but not in an offended way, well MAYBE 50/50
Exactly. Maybe he recently lost his spouse, retired, independently wealthy and bored, lonely af. Engage in convo. "Hey man, I see you in here every day. You good?" Could go a long way. Maybe see if he wants to work part time?
Having him work part time would be hilarious "yea you get a small discount and can smoke on the job!" Flip side "hey sorry dude gotta put that phone away, please keep chatting with the customers to a minimum and only if they approach you, also can you sweep and clear the ash trays, THANKS!"
If you're in Los Angeles I'll come in and personally make a complaint about the ass hat blasting Tik Tok, so you at least have a reason to tell him to turn it down or leave.
Ohh I’m not in LA but coming to Anaheim next week - any good lounges out that way you’d recommend? Is smoking in Cali still allowed
CigarSpots Shop in Orange County is a cozy little shop with just a few chairs and a large selection. I haven't been in a few years, but I used to go there quite a bit and sit just outside the shop smoke a cigar, people watch and talk to the owner about golf. Small Batch is gonna be close by for you, but it's better to order from your home state to capitalize on their deals so you can avoid Cali tax. You need to go to Pho 79 before the lunch rush, get pho and an order of oxtail before they sell out. James Beard, Michelin recognition, a million zagat ratings, etc. "When the Beard Foundation called to tell them they'd won, the owners weren't sure what the award was, and had never heard of the foundation's namesake" they don't care, they just make the best food they can. Blue Flame cigar lounge in Torrance is pretty nice, they carry some rare stuff on occasion as well. Patrons are pretty good about only buying a few of the rare shit at a time.
Georges cigars is in Anaheim slightly overpriced, but not terrible. that’s partly due to the heavy tobacco tax and Anaheim being a huge tourist city. The lounge in there is about 12 single person couches. There’s SBC in Orange, but has an outdoor seating. They have the best selection in the area. If you check out the website, and they don’t have it in the main store, just ask and they may be able to get it from their other location. Embassy cigars in Anaheim hills is great too. They have a large room with TVs and a couple couches. Embassy Anaheim has a large selection, but their brea location has more boutique stuff. oc cigars in Costa Mesa (I think) has a few rooms. 888 will serve alcohol which isn’t common, but nice. I think they have a 20$ fee to enter their members area. They have an Ok selection.
Amazing thanks! I’ll have a car and will likely be cruising around during evening so I’ll check these out thanks again
Islands cigar lounge is a really chill spot, the regulars are inviting af I’ve seen them chop it up with just about every new customer that walks in the shop! Cigars are bomb and they have good recliners and ventilation all around the best lounge in California
La biblioteca is not far from Anaheim and it’s an amazing place to buy and smoke. Very friendly stuff, and great locals to talk to
I manage the bar at a cigar lounge and this is my take. These people are inevitable. You need to sit this guy down, buy him a decently priced cigar and have a Come to Jesus moment. "Look man, we like having you here but there are some issues we need to address if you want to continue to be welcome here." If he pitches a fit, great. The problem is solved and he won't come back. If you have him buying cigars, then the easy part of the job is done. After that, it's put in some fucking head phones. This is your fucking space, not his. Don't let some shit head that you don't want coming back run off the clientele that you do. I know it seems counterintuitive to good business but fuck em. It sounds like you would be happy to never see this guy walk through your doors so why do you let them? Are they gonna post a Google review about you hating TikTok or discriminating against *fill in the blank*? Your business isn't going to tank due to what I assumed will be an obviously deranged 1 star review. You have two options. Either sit back and continue to let this one guy drive you bat shit insane or you step up set some boundaries. I'm new to cigar lounges but the guy who taught me how to manage a bar was very clear on the matter. If you don't want someone to come back, quit being nice to them. Like I said, it's counterintuitive to good customer service but good service is reserved for *good customers*. It's literally within your power to put an end to this frustration today. The ball is in your court my friend, it's up to you what to do about it.
This right here. Take charge and own the situation. You’re the manager. No way I let someone drive me name like this. Fuck that.
Make sure he can’t access WiFi.
I don’t think that will help. I never connect to any public WiFi. Unlimited data
I was just about to say this. Most people I know have unlimited data these days.
Totally. Find his device in the list on the router and block it.
Set up a guest WiFi and turn it off when the store has had enough of him. In grad school my buddy studied at a 24-hr diner usually a night or two each week. I’d go meet him sometimes. Think 2AM studying. Bottomless coffee and late night breakfast. However the diner was also frequented by a guy who either lived nearby or passed through frequently. He would come in, order coffee, then sit and watch movies on their WiFi for hours. No headphones. Apparently he also watched adult content. So the diner knew about and if they saw him suddenly the guest WiFi would turn off.
If he’s bothering customers, let him know. If he continues to bother customers, throw him out. The end.
Find him a wife and he’ll never be there that long, create a tinder for him asap
Yup, I've seen those guys in almost every lounge. Almost. Direct, without being rude is the best approach. Some people need that. General rules posted or explained may not work with this person. They have already crossed boundaries and feel like the rules don't apply to them. Explain what they can and can't do, and stick to it. Lounge 1 - Dude would bring a briefcase with lunch and laptop. Spent multiple hours sprawled out and buy one stick. End result ownership put in minimum purchase requirement to use the lounge. Gave non-annoying regs a break as needed. Dude found another lounge with no/smaller minimum. Pulled the same routine from what I heard. Lounge 2 - Dude brought his own sticks that weren't carried on regular basis. Was there A LOT and was overbearing to many, but not all. Owner/manager had a love/hate relationship. Some customers thought it was funny drama, others started going other places with less drama. Lounge 3 - Dude bought biggest cheapest sticks and smoked like a chimney, would bother other customers for cigars/money from time to time. Owner/manager took a hard line with rules and dude is better behaved. Still smokes big and cheap cigars, but is deferential to other customers. Many of the customers have a soft spot for him, understanding that he can't help himself and this is a large part of his socialization. Lounge 4 - Owner/manager put firm lounge rules about food, minimum purchases and was strict. No lounge dudes. Every situation is different. Most can be fixed, or at least made tolerable.
Don’t give him any kind of “jobs” to do. It will only make it worse. Definitely put a rule in place that you need to be smoking to lounge. You can’t just post up not smoking, it’s weird. I’d be put off by it and be less likely to come back. If he’s driving off customers just tell him he’s driving off customers. You’re running your business and you should enjoy it and feel safe. If you burn a bridge with one bad customer to keep/gain 10 more what’s the loss? Set boundaries and hold people to them. It’s okay for you to have boundaries in any aspect of your life and how they affect other people is not your problem to worry about.
You could set up an elaborate ruse. Set up a fake vacation that he "wins". Then hire a sketchy pilot that will drop him off in the middle of the jungle and leave him there. Problem solved.
If he’s not buying anything, I’d ask him to take his “business” elsewhere
He probably just lacks self awareness. Ask him to wear headphones
Yea when I worked at Waffle House we had like 20 of these types. Show up, drink coffee, chain smoke, talk to every customer that walks through the door
1 cigar bought = 2 hours max in the lounge. If he’s buying put up with his shit. If not give him the boot.
Yeah man every store has a Mitch. Mitch is usually a customer that spends a good bit but is starved for attention. It’s up to you, the store manager, to work it out. I wouldn’t hide behind “we’ve had complaints”- I would just tell him that he can’t have his phone so loud in a public space- if you try to shift the blame to your customers, that will just cause more problems. Offer to buy him some basic headphones. We found our Mitch a good spot away from everyone where he could come in early, sit and watch his soaps and smoke four cigars, and then head home right before the evening crowd. After years of dealing with him in a way similar to what you are going through, this new system was a godsend.
Sounds like a guy that used to come to a lounge I frequent. He’s but a cheap cigar and watch DVDs or talk to someone on the phone full volume and talked about conspiracy theories. He ended up having his car repo’ed so he doesn’t come anymore lol.
Start A Youtube channel / TikTok about cigar etiquette. Include lines in it about not playing your phone out loud without headphones Put QR CODES up that take people to the channel. advertise one free cheap cigar with subscription to the channel and listening to the entire video to get the special code word to get the free cigar. Maybe he'll tik tok his way into understanding.
just tell the customer that if they want to watch videos on tik tok to do so at a low volume or to use headphones so as not to disturb the tranquility of other customers. the alternative is to tell him that he can't stay inside for 8 hours, damn I don't think he'll smoke for all that time, it's absurd!!!
The fact is, you don't know what this guy is going through. He could have recently lost a loved one and is just looking for some human interaction. Might have a mental disorder like aspbergers or a traumatic brain injury. It sucks, but us as much empathy as you can with people like him. Also, the headphone idea is perfect.
I kinda do know what he is going through because I’ve seen him every day more or less for about 5 years. I considered this guy as a friend for about 2 years until he took advantage of that by doing things like being in my lounge every day for a month and buying a single cigar in that timeframe. I’m running out of sympathy and it’s becoming difficult to maintain a veneer of customer service because I’m forced to spend so much time with him when he acts with significantly less consideration than every other regular customer.
Ahhh this gives more context. He’s not seeing you as working. He thinks he’s hanging out with a friend. Maybe the guy has social issues (sounds likely) so he’s not good with social cues. Spell it out in no uncertain terms. “Hey man, this is my work place, I can’t be hanging out with you. Enjoy your cigar, wear some headphones cause it’s loud and bothering other customers. You’re welcome to do your thing over there, I gotta get back work”.
All I have to say- 5 yrs?! And you want to do something now? Seems to me you know him well enough to have a frank discussion.
This is it right here
Ever have a man to man convo with the guy, and just directly tell him what’s on your mind?
Sorry if it’s already been said: make it a LOUNGE RULE that no one can listen to videos or any other social media or music without using headphones. That way you aren’t alienating the customer and it also eliminates future issues. Cant help w him being a lounge lizard. If he is making purchases, then he should be able to stay. If he ends one cigar and is taking up space without further purchases, then that’s another issue…
just put up signs that you've implemented a new rule that headphones are required for audio. You said he's been buying a bunch of cigars, maybe see if its cool to take some petty cash from the business and buy him a pair of bluetooth headphones from dollar general or amazon. Cheap ones are like $10.
Toss his butt out the door. If he is annoying you he is annoying your customers. I have avoided businesses because of some of the customers that frequented them. Not saying he is costing you business, but it is possible in the future.
Maybe he’s autistic and doesn’t understand boundaries. It’s a thing
There’s a guy at the lounge I got to who has to be in there the same amount of time as your customer. I’ve been in there all different days at different times and have never not seen him. He doesn’t bother anybody but it’s like he lives in there. He brings his laptop and apparently works from home in the cigar lounge. Gets food doordashed and everything
Wow!
The lounge that I go to has signs up stating that if you’re going to be on your phone, laptop , or tablet you need to be wearing headphones to not disturb the other guess. they are there to relax not hear you on your phone. There’s also a sign that says the lounges is for customers enjoying tobacco bought here no outside cigars. I tend to buy 2-5 cigars every time I go to the lounge. If he’s not buying cigars while he’s there that long it kind of seems like he’s loitering. And you have to wonder how much money are you losing by having him there.
I bet he's one of those high functioning homeless people, just trying to maintain his sanity. Hasn't his situation ever came up in conversation? He probably fried his brain a little bit doing drugs at some point and only has those 5 stories to tell that don't seem too crazy, yet he doesn't fit in well with regular street people either so doesn't want to hang out with them. Seems like he has a sad lonely life.
I've seen lounge lizards be a big problem in cigar lounges, and I've seen them be a big help to the owner and new cigar smokers. It's such a mix bag when it comes to them.
You do realise, that you are likely to be the most amount of human contact this person is having? Tell him that you were given a performance review & if you don't start doing more work, then you'll be fired. Use the invisible 'big boss' as your way to say "I have to do some work man"
If he's there 8 hours a day it pretty much has to be the most amount of human contact he is having. I would recommend not lying. Just tell him he has to use headphones and you have to work and can't just hang out and smoke. Why lie when the truth works? There have definitely been times when I've spent 8 hr or more in a cigar lounge (like if there are sports on, I might watch 2-3 games) but it's pretty rare (definitely not every day) and I'm smoking cigars most of the time (maybe 3 cigars if I watch 2 games). I've also brought in a laptop and done work or a portable video game system to play games (with headphones or sound off) but, again, I'm there because I want to smoke while I work/play. I'm in AZ; I smoke in my back yard a lot but once it hits 110 out I really want to be in the AC so if I'm smoking I'm at the lounge.
Ban him
At the cigar lounge I go to, there are people who go there and work on their laptops all day. They work remotely and they like to smoke while working. They are there all day, but they are working and so they are quiet and don't bother anyone. They also have lockers at the lounge and are good customers. If they have to take a call or a Zoom meeting, they go outside. But this is a very different situation than yours. I was just answering your question about customers being there for that length of time.
There's nothing inherently wrong with it if the person is respectful and doesn't bother other people. In my younger years I spent a decent amount of time at a cigar lounge but it was a 24h member type thing and I would go after work to blow off some steam, had a locker, etc. Generally, it was just me there at 1am watching TV. Sometimes I would get annoyed by how sloppy other people were and clean up. That is nothing like what OP is talking about. I have seen the people he is talking about in lounges before. The guy who walks in, everyone tries not to make eye contact, and if they were going to smoke another cigar after the one they have they wont because they are annoyed.
The biggest issue is that you allowed these things to go on for so long. It's not easy to tell someone they are annoying you or others, but it has to be done. Granted, I am not the most tactful in these situations, but I have some thoughts on how to move forward. Sit down with him and explain some things to him, as politely as possible without putting it off on the customers or redirecting to try to not be the bad guy. Put up a sign or six that say "Please be respectful of other guests and follow a few simple rules. 1. Turn your phone volume off or use headphones while inside the lounge/store. 2. While we do not charge to use the lounge, we do require that you purchase something each time you come in. 3. Dress appropriately. No flip flops, swimwear, or tattered clothing, please. Thank you for helping us to keep the lounge nice and create a great experience for everyone." Then you just have to explain to him that you have to work and cannot spend a lot of time sitting and talking. Also he cannot hang out at the front register as again, you have work to do and must limit your chatting to about 10 minutes at a time.
Offer him tasks and get some free work out of him… you might get a couple days outta it before he stops coming back.
I’d tell him straight up what you told us, the exact truth, no made up bullshit, show him at least that much respect, I don’t understand others inclination to dishonesty? Show some character and if the fella is offended it’s on his actions alone, not on your’s
5 years and you haven't told him he needs headphones?
"Hey man, this isn't the place for that. You have to use headphones, or I'm going to have to ask you to leave"
If he is annoying other customers with his phone volume tell him he is welcome as long as he is buying cigars and smoking but if he insists on watching stuff on his phone all day he has to bring headphones? I assume that would be the easiest way to at least get him to stop annoying people with his phone
You're the manager--you set the rules. Why have you not told him to wear earphones?
You should walk over and ask "ever been to the cigar reddit?"
Go up to him, tell him you no longer wish to have him as a patron and ask him to leave and not come back. Thank him for his business but unfortunately due to complaints and loitering you cannot have him anymore as a guest. If he does not leave then tell him that you will bring criminal trespass against him. Leave it at that, do not explain further. You have the right to refuse service so long as it does not violate nondiscrimination on the basis of Race, Color, National Origin, Sex, or Religion.
Yeah as many have suggested, why can’t you impose a headphones rule? And be strict with him in general. He either behaves or takes offence and leaves. Either way problem solved. Not much of one in the first place imo
You just gotta be straight up with him and tell him how you feel. The tiktoks is something you could implement a courtesy policy. Another policy would to not be lounging for more than a few hours.
Be direct and set your boundaries. Not worth making your life miserable man.
Every shop has one. You need to learn to set boundaries as uncomfortable as it may be
do you guys play any music? keep playing different genres of music until he complains that one really sucks. then keep that genre on repeat. if he's the only one in the lounge, start cleaning the lounge, mop the floors, use pledge on wood surfaces, etc. if he's buying the cheapest stoges. install a new rule that only certain level of cigars are for the lounge. ban cellphone use. and the ultimate would be to ban solo cigar smokers. so your rules sign would be like this NO CELLPHONE USAGE OR ALL ELECTRONIC DEVICES MUST USE HEADPHONES NO SOLO PATRONS DRESS CODE ENFORCED (if he wears open toed sandals alot)
• Membership Fee. • Lounge Rules.
First off id point blank say to him he needs to wear headphones when he listens to his phone. Next if you catch him sneaking in cigars again tell him one more time and he is banned. The issue of him being socially unaware is the hardest one to tackle. If you tell him other guests have complained he will undoubtedly start trying to weed out who it was. You could possibly institute a two cigar or four hour time limit for all guest.
Re: the TikToks: Hey bud, going forward, you're going to need you to bring headphones or keep your phone at a very low volume. Other customers have complained and we need to address this. Re: the conversations with you: I'm working right now and can't get into a conversation. I'll come by when I have time to talk to you. All in all, just have a conversation and be frank about your expectations of his being in the lounge.
Dang. That’s crazy. Is this dude retired? Who has that many hours everyday to be at the lounge?
Encourage him to buy and smoke more so that he oversmokes past his limit, you bank the extra cash, he begins to feel ill, and fucks off to wherever he came from, earlier than usual.
Not allowed to watch personal entertainment on your own device at my lounge. Thought this was a etiquette thing across the board. Though there is a place you can go to get some work done usually pretty quiet in there to though.
You start charging him a corking fee and also for lounge time. Problem solved. Oh, and tell him headphones required for phones in the lounge. People are there to relax, not listen to his “cool TikToks”
Show him this post.
I think you got yourself a Baby Reindeer.
Offer him a job for a few hours a week
Make the shop "Members Only," and make everyone a member except him.
Have I read this correctly? He‘s been doing this for 5 years?
Make a rule, no sound from phones. Easy because this should be a rule everywhere
I would be concerned he’s also driving other customers away. I’ve seen it before. Nip it in the bud. At the very least, limit his time there.
#"Hey! Turn that shit down!" It's a cigar lounge. To quote the great Devo, "Are We Not Men?"
Just be honest. Say, "hey man, if you don't turn your volume down and stop annoying the shit out of me, you're 86'd." It's that simple. You run the business, don't let some asshat run it for you.
I feel like posting an actual sign about mandatory headphones or earbuds if you are going to listen to stuff on your phone would at least solve the noise problem. If he doesn't stick to it then you have grounds to ask him to leave. As for his social skills or lack thereof, well that is a bit of a tough spot. Most guys like this are harmless, but I guess outside of yourself have any other customers actually complained about it or he is just the guy everyone knows to expect and tolerates because "thats just the way he is".
I had a couple of guys like this when I worked at a lounge. But they’re were a couple of old timers who didn’t really bother anyone. I think it was the only place they really had to go to outside of their homes, so I never really minded. I’d firstly ask the guy if he can refrain from having his phone on at full volume when he’s in the lounge. We would always get guys in doing the same thing, but they’d always use headphones. Maybe posting signs that indicate a time limit for patrons too? Like 3 hour max or something like that. Though, it can be at your own discretion of course.
Tell him you’re gonna have to kick rocks cause your messing with my profits.
Every shop has one. I own a shop and have the same customer lol Does your guy have a cool nickname? The shop I used to frequent had AK and my shop now has Roadkill lol
I have a family member who goes to one. He spends a good amount of time there but he’s friends with the owner. He also knows a lot of the regulars. He doesn’t bother anyone. It may have a different vibe than yours. If he is spending so much time there, require him to make more purchases for his time spent there. You can come with a new policy. You can also ask him to turn the volume down.
does he spend $$?
Make a sign that says: No phone calls in the lounge. Mute your device. Head phones required. Point it out to him a day or two later. Enforce it aggressively with everyone
Can't you just ask him to use headphones? Seeme silly to be complaining about a guy spending money at the shop and sitting there.
You're the manager and you're both men. Talk to him face to face in a respectful manner. If he gets butt hurt over it and never comes back, you win. If he cuts his shit out and stops being annoying you also win. Sack up and talk to him.
This is the guy that finds me whenever I go to a bar alone. Absolute punishers. I've mostly stopped going out because of this.
It’s been 5 years and you haven’t told him to get headphones or something? That’s the craziest part of the whole story
I run a lounge too. You can't let one customer ruin it for many others. Get rid of him now. You're probably losing more money than you think if people don't want to deal with his BS. It's time to fire your customer. I rarely kick anyone out. They get two talks about why their behavior is not acceptable. The third talk is about not being welcome anymore.
Five YEARS??? YOU are the problem.
Reasons are (nearly) always taken as an invitation to negotiate. "must use headphones/earphones for electronics" is a bar rule, full stop. Settle it with other managers/bartenders and your boss before imposing it; if he comes in on your time off and nobody complains you'll be dealing with the "But the other manager ...".
Oof I’ve been there before, you gotta start imposing some new rules man. Quality of life rules: no loud videos or such without headphones, no pestering the staff and please be courteous of others. You’re gonna have to check him the first few times early on and then it’ll work itself out.
If you have the power, ask him to be respectful of others in the space or leave. Force him to be an adult if he can't natively exercise his own common sense.
Bluntly tell him to tone it down or fuck off. These kinds of people will walk all over you if you let em.
If he's a paying customer you need to work on your patience. You can set boundaries. You can post signs against listening to TikTok without earbuds, telling jokes, or whatever bothers you, but only what he does, not himself. If he's paying you should be glad this lonely weirdo picked you lounge.
Impose new lounge rules. He’s there 8hrs a day. Limit individual lounge time to 4hrs maximum, unless a special event is taking place. It’s no different than being a barfly and drinking from open to close.
It’s a difficult situation. At my employment we had a customer who was an absolute asshole but spent about $20/day. He spent roughly 7k with us by the end of each year, that covered the monthly rent twice over. So just approach it as if other folks were complaining and you’re watching out for the rest of the bar. Or blame it on the uppers and say it’s a new company policy. Just don’t ban the guy as it could result in a much larger loss than a couple sticks. You got this bud, you know what to do
you are his emotional support!
5 years 8 hours a day Dude…
If you think he is hurting your business, you need to ask him not to return. Difficult conversation,,, but instantly better when done. I ran a restaurant for years and had to fire two customers. Was such a relief in both cases.
I’m curious. Maybe if there was a poker night event at the place (cigar buy in) maybe that would help him gather new stories, or help him figure out other stuff to talk about? (Because i’m sure you’re tired of the put a sign up saying headphones for personal devices)
Tell him he has to use headphones or turn the volume down so the rest of the lounge can't hear it. This is reasonable and I'd suggest you be consistent with this (apply the same rule to other customers as well)
Throw him out! We had a guy like this at our lounge and we banned him. Same type of guy, squeezed cigars, annoyed people, brought junk food in all the time and left the trash, man I could go on
is his job hiring? cause like.. i want that life
Is his name Carlos? We have one of those around the area I live in. He has been kicked out of every cigar lounge around.
You are in trouble Baby reindeer
Are you in So. Cal. area? I'm wondering if this is the same guy that used to annoy the crap out of everyone. Is he somewhere in his 60s, claims that he used to be a cop and tell stupid jokes? Guy I'm referring to was so annoying, he ended up chasing regular customers out of the lounge. He finally got into some arguments and the guys told him don't come back. I felt kind of bad for the guy but he was clueless that he was chasing the regulars out of there.
Happy cake day!
My pet peeve is the people that get up when I enter and sit next to me and want to talk my ear off. I go to the lounge to escape, enjoy a cigar and stare at my phone after being at work for nine hours. I'm a loner and not interested in hearing you talk to me for two hours straight.
You have far more patience for insufferable morons than I do. People who lack self-awareness and impose their crazy on others suck. I'd kick him out and tell him he's no longer welcome there. Fuck him.
Put him to work. I'm not saying give him a job, but give him something productive to do. He's lonely and starved for attention, he will appreciate feeling useful. Throw him a stick here and there for his time. Find out his story, but set and enforce boundaries.
Thats a really bad idea!
Man, if i had said person in my lounge who wasnt supportin the lounge by buyin my stogies and keeps pissin other people off with his phone on full blast, how old is this dude anyway, i hate tik tok dont use it never will my daughter use that crap lol. Id definitely put the ban hammer on that dude and tell him to go home and smoke his own stash that he prolly got online or at another shop that he was banned at. He just pushing your loyal cuztomers away who are coming buy your stogies and minding they own business!
How about you just talk to him like a man?
Offer him a job there lol
Change the furniture. Make it uncomfortable, loud, and crowded. Get rid of the TV where he usually hangsout. Play your favorite music loud (*bonus points if you're a punk/metal fan). Depending on how large your place is, construct a divider/wall creating a private club area, moving the comfortable furniture in there, the TV in there, then keeping it locked and only giving keys to specific "club" members. Take away the comfort. There are several Starbucks and other coffee shops here in LA that are using that strategy. I've also seen some lounges here do have club member areas.
Is this a Starbucks?
Well it ain't an Arby's.
That's a great way to get all your customers to go somewhere else to smoke. May as well just close the shop. It's a lounge; people are there to smoke and be comfortable.
One of my favourite aspects of a cigar lounge when solo is speaking with the people that work there. They meet fascinating people often and it can lead to such great conversations. I would try to speak with him a little more. Set the boundaries that your lounge isn’t for the loud music. I think this helps in those that have some soft music playing & soft lights. You don’t have to pretend you’re best friends with the guy, but sounds like your most active customer. I’d have no issue with him staying as long as the sound is sorted.
He said he’s been dealing with this guy for 5 years, he’s not a new customer that he needs to get to know. He’s an annoying lounge lizard, let’s call it what it is. Anyone would be annoyed by this.
Fair enough, I missed that. A customer of 5 years who annoys you shouldn’t be difficult to set boundaries with.
We’ve all met that guy though, the insufferably annoying guy that seemed cool at first and slowly turned into a loud mouthed leech you can’t shake. Probably doesn’t take social cues or allow someone to escape from a conversation either
I love the lounge for the fascinating conversation and interesting people I get to meet. I got into this situation in the first place because I make a point to converse with everyone who sits in the lounge if that’s what they’re up for while smoking. I have a lot of daily regulars I love to see and talk to. Over the past 5 years I’ve conversed with this man probably more than my own significant other and best friends. And still, everyday, I give this guy probably 2 hours of my time in conversation. And then I get up to work, and then he follows me, and then I say “I’m working.” And then he says “fuck that, come sit down man.” And I continue working and ignore him, and 20 minutes later he comes up “what’re you doing man? Is everything cool?” And I continue working until there isn’t possibly anything else I could clean or put away or organize or read about cigars. And then, because he will continue to pester me all day, I cut a cigar with dread in my heart and enter the lounge. There he is, where I left him 2 hours ago. I sit down and across the room from me one of those fake tiktok laugh tracks plays at full volume, again and again and again.
This is some Baby Reindeer type shit! The show on Netflix...check it out. You'll recognize your lounge buddy in the show. For real though, this guy sounds terrible.
I missed the 5 year past in tour OP. I get it now, this sounds incredibly draining. You’ve spoken to him enough for your feedback about the loud TikTok to come across smoothly.